DISCLOSURE STATEMENT: This author has no financial or non-financial relation nor do they possess any right to "Inuyasha: A Feudal Fairy Tale" franchise. Full ownership of all characters is the sole intellectual property of Rumiko Takahashi.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: This one isn't funny.
Random Series is Random
Sniffling, Kagome sat under the Sacred Tree rubbing her hand absently over her swollen stomach. She did her best to avoid crying when he wasn't away on an exorcism. He never could handle her tears but now that she was pregnant it seemed to make him panic. Panic that she was hurting. Panic something might be wrong with the baby. Panic that she regretted coming back.
She wasn't crying because she regretted coming back or that she was in pain. At least not physical pain. She was crying because it hurt to know her family would never get to meet her baby. There'd be no pictures. No sonograms. No cuddling with grandma. No holidays together or cute little outfits or things she'd always imagined would happen when she was younger. In many ways she was just mourning the normal life she'd never have but she never regretted coming back.
Taking a shaky breath, she swallowed thickly and leaned against the rough bark. She also cried because there were other things she could never tell InuYasha. He'd take it the wrong way and be hurt. He was already worried enough as it was. He'd mentioned once...just once...that women died in childbirth 'all the time'. He hadn't even said it directly to her.
One day she'd overheard him talking to Kaede. Asking questions he was afraid to ask his wife. Like how Kaede planned on keeping the love of his life safe during labor and how long it might take her to recover. Whether he would be allowed in the hut to help or whether he'd be expected to stay away. How long labor lasted and what he should expect. Was there anything he should get for the baby or Kagome to make everything go smoother. Or...or like how he was worried that a child with demonic traits might accidentally get purified or her body may inadvertently reject it. Not that he believed that Kagome herself would ever purposefully hurt their baby it was just...
Well, he was worried. He didn't want to lose either of them.
Kagome sighed as more tears streamed down her cheeks. This was supposed to be the happiest time of her life. Pregnancy - so she'd always heard - was this magical thing. Instead, it seemed to be a time of anxiety, guilt, discomfort and depression.
Mothers weren't supposed to be sad when they are pregnant. Women in movies were always overjoyed and brought to tears with overwhelming happiness. They should want to tell everyone. Be glowing and oh so happy.
Except...she wasn't.
She'd gotten pregnant almost right away. There had been no time to just live together in marital bliss. And she cried because yet another expectation had been shattered.
She had the audacity to be the only woman in the world who was disappointed and frankly depressed about something other women would kill for. How dare she feel this way when so many women couldn't have babies of their own? She felt so guilty and ashamed that she wasn't loving every minute of this huge life changing event. That she wished this hadn't happened so quickly into this fledgling, new relationship she'd sacrificed so much to have. That there were moments she regretted having a baby with the man she loved more than life itself. That she wished it hadn't happened. That even five months along she didn't feel connected to her unborn child and worried that when it was born she might not love it as much as she would be expected to. Would she be a bad mother? Was she already a bad mother?
She couldn't bring herself to tell InuYasha any of this. Didn't want him to blame her or get angry. She'd tried to talk to Sango but the slayer merely looked confused. Sango had loved every minute of her pregnancy and that only served to make Kagome feel that much more miserable.
And so she suffered alone and in silence.
Wiping away her tears, she composed herself and went back home - her hand still absently stroking her stomach.