Chapter 4

Gabrielle blinked several times before squinting back at the bright light from the sun that had carelessly slipped in through the windows. She could have sworn that those windows had blinds on them and that they were closed when she had gone to bed the night before. But as the bright sun continued to leak in, the scene before her would suggest that she had perhaps been mistaken. It was the movement next to the bed that drew her attention away from the steady stream of light that continued to pierce her half opened eyes.

"What time is it?" She asked the figure that stood above her casting enough shadow that she didn't have to squint anymore.

"Time to get up…" Varia crossed her arms and peered down at Gabrielle. "Have a headache do we?" She frowned.

"Not much…just feeling groggy." Gabrielle pushed herself up on her elbows. "What is it with everyone?" She grumbled as she pushed herself up further until she was in a sitting position. "Why can't I seem to get any privacy?"

"Well, I have been sent by a group of very anxious young women to fetch you…your presence has been requested." Varia tried not to smirk at her old friend's grumpy disposition which had become legendary among her sisters.

"Yeah…yeah…Elle invited me to watch them spar today." Gabrielle pushed her unruly blonde hair away from her eyes. She had kept it in a short, shaggy cut because she found it much easier to maintain. With a sigh, she realized she was due for a trim, just another thing she would have to deal with. "Have they started?"

"Several times over." Varia grinned at Gabrielle as she watched her stretch her arms over her head and yawn.

"I'm up…" Gabrielle threw her legs over the edge of the bed and finally looked up at Varia. "Do I have time for breakfast?"

"I suppose, but I can't be held accountable for who comes to find you next…" Varia laughed when Gabrielle grimaced. "Yes my Queen, you have time for breakfast." She couldn't stop herself from giving a small bow.

"Really funny Varia…" Gabrielle rolled her eyes. "Mind if I have a few minutes of privacy to get dressed?" Tilting her head to look up at Varia, she did her best to guard the sadness she knew was still in her eyes. No matter how many times she woke up alone without Xena wrapped around her protectively…lovingly, it was something she knew she would never get used to.

"I'll let Camilla know you're coming before I head down to appease the restless troops." Varia placed a hand on Gabrielle's shoulder and gave a gentle squeeze. "It'll get better Gabrielle…" She tried to reassure.

"No…it won't." Gabrielle finally let the sadness shine through her once vibrant green eyes, now dulled with pain.

For a brief moment, silence surrounded them as they looked at each other wondering what the other was thinking. Finally, Varia tried to smile. "Well, it's nice to see that one thing hasn't changed…"

"Yeah? And what would that be?" Gabrielle tried to look amused by the smile she received from Varia.

"You still don't like mornings…" Varia laughed, bringing the first smile of the day to Gabrielle's lips.

"Well, I've said it before and I'll say it again…I may rise, but I refuse to shine." Gabrielle couldn't stop herself from smiling. The realization that she needed to approach her life with some semblance of levity hit her as a memory from the night before came to her. Had she dreamt that Ares came to her or did it really happen? She furrowed her brow as she tried to recall their conversation but instead she only received Varia's concerned question.

"Is everything alright?" Varia asked as she watched Gabrielle trying to figure something out.

"Um…yes…I think so…" Gabrielle did her best to answer cheerfully. "I'll let you know if it isn't…"

"Promise?" Varia raised an eyebrow in question. She started to leave but stopped when she didn't get an immediate response from Gabrielle. "You don't have to do this alone…" The comment sounded more impatient than Varia had intended.

"I know…and I promise not to take on anything…alone…" Gabrielle sighed as she watched Varia stop at the door. "Really…" She let out an exasperated breath. "Now if you don't let me get ready, I'll never make it out there in time…" With the wave of a hand, Gabrielle gave a gentle dismissal that Varia accepted with a wave of her own.

The sun had risen high in the sky indicating it was midafternoon by the time Gabrielle made an appearance in the sparring arena. Much to her surprise, no one stopped to acknowledge her arrival as she made her way across the dirt field to join Brielle. With a measured eye, she took in the small groups working together as they traded hits with a multitude of weapons and she was impressed by what she saw.

"What did you expect?" Brielle turned to her when she felt Gabrielle standing next to her.

"I don't know…" Gabrielle looked around, a smile tugging at her lips as she watched with the pride that only a Queen could know. "They're good…you've done a great job. Epinon would be proud."

"I guess I should thank you…" Brielle followed Gabrielle's line of sight as both of their eyes came to rest on a sparring match that seemed to be garnering some attention. "Would you be interest in working with a few of my girls on their staff skills?" It was an attempt to draw Gabrielle's attention away from the slow growing commotion that was taking place.

Slowly bringing her gaze back to fall on Brielle, she gave a small nod and followed her to a clearing where three girls who couldn't have been much older than thirteen seasons waited. All looked scared and excited at the prospect of meeting Gabrielle.

"So, what have we got here?" Gabrielle smiled down at the three girls who peered at her with uncertainty and awe.

"This is Seleia, Ligeia, and Phienoe…" Brielle made the introductions. "And this is Queen Gabrielle…"

"Um…not Queen anymore Elle…please…" Gabrielle looked embarrassed by the title she felt she no longer held. "Just call me Gabrielle…"

All three girls stepped forward and Gabrielle took that time to size up each girl. Seleia was tall and lanky with long dark hair and dark eyes to match, but when she smiled she radiated a warmth and friendliness that was hard to ignore. Ligeia was shorter than Seleia, but more muscular and compact. Her hair was the color of chestnuts and it glistened in the sunlight reflecting copper highlights. The hazel eyes that peered shyly at Gabrielle reminded her of her own sister Lila's eyes. And finally Phienoe, who was the smallest of the three. Her blonde hair was almost white and her eyes were a deep, dark blue that flashed with interest as she studied Gabrielle through light blonde eyelashes. There was a question in the depth of those blue eyes that brought a smile to Gabrielle's face.

"You have a question for me…don't you little one?" Gabrielle raised an eyebrow as she looked down on the girl.

"Um…" Phienoe's eyes went from Gabrielle's to Brielle's silently asking permission. When Brielle gave her a nod she looked back at Gabrielle. "What is that you're wearing?" She gazed at the blue short sleeved top and lose black pants that Gabrielle was wearing.

"This…" Gabrielle held out her arms for the girls to see. "Is a Karategi…or Gi"

All three girls stared at her in wonder. They had never seen so much material worn by a warrior before. As was the custom of the Amazons, they wore very little to inhibit the chance of being restricted during a battle. When the wonder turned to skepticism, Gabrielle laughed. "You think I'm wearing too much don't you?" She reached for the staff that Brielle was holding. "Give me that Elle…" Taking the wooden staff from Brielle, Gabrielle stepped back and she readied herself to give the girls a show.

The light canvas material moved with Gabrielle as she took her stance. "You see; this material is very light but extremely durable. This particular one has been with me since…" She hesitated for a moment. "Well I've had it for three years now…"

Elle watched as Gabrielle moved with a fluid ease that she had never seen before. It had been years since she had seen Gabrielle spar, long before her trip to Japa with Xena. She had heard rumors that Gabrielle had been trained in some of the ancient arts that had remained secret among the people of Japa but until that moment, she hadn't quit believed it.

It didn't take Gabrielle long to warm up as she swung the staff around. It had been a while since she had used this particular weapon, having turned to her trusty Sai's over the past few years but everything came back to her as she moved with the grace of a seasoned warrior. She could feel as more eyes turned to watch her workout and it made her feel good, something she hadn't felt in a long time. With a final flourish and a twist, she ended her exhibition to a round of applause. She took comfort in the feeling of her rapidly beating heart and the sweat that was now running down her face because it meant she was still alive. 'And by the God's it felt good to be alive' she thought for the first time since she had lost Xena.

As she held her pose, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. It wasn't until the clapping died down that she heard a voice call out from behind her. It was a voice that was both foreign and familiar to her and it caused the hair on her arms to stand on end.

"Can you do more than show off with that thing?" The voice challenged.

"Leia…no…" Brielle hissed through clenched teeth. This wasn't the meeting she had expected to take place between these two women. She was silenced when Gabrielle held up her hand. When their eyes met, she could see that Gabrielle was ready to show the girl just how good she was.

Without turning around, Gabrielle indicated that Leia should step forward to the challenge she had just issued. She closed her eyes again and listened to the young woman move into position behind her, waiting for Leia to make the first move. Gabrielle held her stance long enough to open her eyes and give Brielle a wink to let her know that she was still in control. A smile of relief was returned just before Gabrielle dropped her head again to assess how much of a threat this young woman would be once they started.

Leia watched the woman who had become a legend to everyone but her. She had been impressed by what she had seen so far, but she was ready to see what Gabrielle would do when she had someone to fight back with. Her brow furrowed as she continued to watch Gabrielle's back but was surprised to see that her feet were moving. The slow, fluid like movements of Gabrielle's feet caught her off guard. It was if Gabrielle was dancing to some silent song that no one else could hear. Within seconds Leia found herself on her back trying to catch her breath looking up into the greenest eyes she had ever seen. She had heard stories of Gabrielle's beauty and had expected it, what she hadn't expected was the pain and anguish that gazed back at her tearing down the wall she had painstakingly build around her heart.

It hadn't taken much for Gabrielle to catch the young warrior off guard. Concentrating on slow steady movements, she cleared her mind of everything except for the young woman who was waiting for her to strike. She took a deep breath through her mouth before slowly exhaling through her nose and then she exploded into movement. It was so fast that it caught everyone off guard, including Leia. With her hair hanging in her face, Gabrielle let out a heavy sigh before pushing her sweaty blonde bangs away from her eyes. The first thing she noticed was the prone body of a young woman who couldn't have been much older than seventeen or eighteen seasons. As her eyes moved up and over a strong and capable body, she noticed the long blonde hair that resembled the color of the bleached rocks she had seen along the coast of the sea mixed with streaks of soft brown the color of deer hide. But it wasn't until her eyes found crystal clear blue eyes looking back at her that she felt as if someone had stolen her breath. In an instant she was plunged into darkness and the only thing she could hear was the sound of her name being whispered on the wind. Her knees buckled under the low melodic tone of Xena's voice as it carried to her just as it had so many times before when they had held each other under the stars. They were the same stars that now mocked her and her loneliness. When her vision came back to her, she gasped at the familiar blue that gazed back at her filled with uncertainty and fear.

"No…" Gabrielle sobbed to the sky above and to whatever God was listening. Surprising everyone around her, including Leia who couldn't hide the panic in those familiar blue eyes, Gabrielle brought the staff above her head before slamming it on the ground next to Leia's head. She felt it break in half as the vibration of hitting the ground stung her hands. "No…" She called out again her voice filled with anguish before tossing the other piece to the ground. Without saying another word, she turned to leave a stunned group of Amazons staring at her retreating back wondering what had just happened.

Varia had seen Gabrielle begin her work out to show the girls her skills. It made her smile to see her friend loosen up and enjoy sharing something of herself, but things had changed quickly when Leia had stepped up to challenge Gabrielle. Knowing Leia's propensity to cause trouble, Varia took off towards the inevitable show down. Unfortunately, she arrived just in time to see Gabrielle standing over Leia. Thinking that it was over, she was caught off guard by the sob that tore from Gabrielle as she looked down at the young woman. It was the sound of an anguished heart and she didn't understand what had happened. When Gabrielle turned to leave, their eyes met briefly and what she saw stopped her from moving any closer to the woman who had lost so much. Gabrielle held her hand out to indicate that she didn't want to be followed and with tears streaming down her face, she left them all wondering what had happened.

"What did you do?" Brielle bent down to look at Leia. The surprise she saw written all over the young woman's face had her changing tactics. "What happened?" Her voice softened slightly at the dazed look on Leia's face.

"I…I don't know." Leia pushed herself up off of the ground. She couldn't describe what she had felt when Gabrielle had looked into her eyes but something had changed within her. Something deep in her soul had shifted and it scared her. She had never seen so much pain and grief in someone's eyes before and she had never wanted to comfort anyone the way she wanted to comfort Gabrielle now.

Varia appeared over Brielle's shoulder and peered down at Leia hoping that she might see the same thing that Gabrielle had seen, but all she saw was fear and uncertainty. "I don't understand…" She shook her head before looking back at where Gabrielle had disappeared. Something in the wind told her to leave it be, to give Gabrielle time. Reaching down, she placed a hand on Leia's shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. "Not exactly the meeting I was hoping for…"