Chapter 6
Gabrielle sluggishly opened her eyes as a light knock on her door pulled her from the warmth and safety of her dreams. It was the one place she counted on to take her away from the stress and reality of her everyday life and it was the one place she was never alone.
"Gabrielle…?" Varia's voice quietly carried to Gabrielle who attempted to push herself up onto her elbows.
"Yeah…come in Varia." Gabrielle sighed as she brushed her bangs away from her still tired eyes. "Damn Ares…" She grumbled under her breath as she continued to fight the groggy feeling that was weighing her thoughts down. The minute she opened her eyes, she had realized that Ares had bestowed the sleep of the dead upon her but she wasn't quite sure if it was out of pity or if he was just…well, just being his same charming self.
When the door opened, Varia stepped in from the bright light outside followed closely by Briella who was nervously wringing her hands as she peered around Varia's shoulder.
"That bad, huh?" Gabrielle sat up and immediately regretted it as she began to sway back and forth causing Varia to rush over to stop her from falling forward off the bed and onto the floor. "Um…thanks." She leaned forward to gain some semblance of balance before turning to place her feet on the floor.
"What's going on Gabrielle? You have us worried." Varia held tight to Gabrielle's shoulder to make sure she wasn't going to fall over again. Kneeling down in front of Gabrielle's small, slight frame, she peered up into green eyes marred with dark rings that looked like purple smudges or bruises. "Please tell me what's wrong…it hurts me to see you like this…" Her voice was heavy with concern.
With both hands, Gabrielle ran her fingers through her hair, pushing it away from her face. She knew how she must look to Varia and Briella but she also knew she needed to pull it together. "How long have I been asleep?" She tried to hold Varia's gaze, but the weight of concern she saw looking back was too much so she dropped her eyes again.
"A day and a half…" Briella spoke for the first time causing Gabrielle to jerk her head to the side to look over at her, surprise written all over her face. "After what happened yesterday…we all thought it was best to give you some time…but when you didn't come to breakfast, and then lunch…" Her voice trailed off as she continued to fidget nervously.
"Wow…you really must have started worrying when I didn't make my way down to the mess hall." Gabrielle tried to smile, but only succeeded in frowning at the way that Briella was fidgeting. When silence followed her statement she let out a heavy sigh and nodded at Varia. "We have a lot to talk about…"
"You think…?" Varia finally stood and reached down to give a hand to pull Gabrielle up with her.
"Listen…I've had the sleep of the dead bestowed upon me and I'm a little woozy right now. How 'bout I get a bath and some food before I try to explain everything." Gabrielle prayed that Varia would give her some time to gather her thoughts. With a nod, Varia agreed but by the firm set of her mouth Gabrielle knew she had something else to say. "Well?" She crossed her arms in an almost defiant stance.
"The counsel has called a meeting…" Varia stated.
"Okay…good. I was expecting that." Gabrielle exhaled impatiently. The news wasn't a surprise, but Varia's delivery was beginning to annoy her.
"Epinon is coming back…we'll wait, but the counsel…" Varia gritted her teeth and looked away from Gabrielle.
"What?" Gabrielle asked, this time her voice softer as she realized that Varia was having to be the barer of bad news.
"They want to discuss your well-being Gabrielle…they think that the events in Japa may have left you…" Varia swallowed hard as she finally turned back to look at Gabrielle. "They think you are unstable…"
Gabrielle's laugh caught both Varia and Briella off guard as they gave each other sad looks thinking that maybe the counsel had been right all along.
"Having the Gods interfere with your life on a regular basis is definitely a reason to go crazy, but I'm not there yet. My nerves may be frayed, but I am still in full control…" Gabrielle reached out to give Varia's cheek a light pat. "Have not doubt my friend…I'm fine…tired, but I'm really okay."
Varia stared into Gabrielle's eyes, searching for the answer she knew she would find there and when she saw the truth, she smiled. "Thank the Gods…you had me worried…" She grabbed Gabrielle in a hug and held her tight.
Briella watched with a relieved smile as Varia and Gabrielle hugged. She finally stopped fidgeting nervously as she moved over to wrap her arms around the two women, not wanting to be left out.
"Come'ere…" Gabrielle pulled Briella into their hug. "Look, I promise to tell you everything…" She pulled back so she could look at them. "Just know that Ares is involved…and we know how quickly things can go wrong when he's involved." The knowing look she gave Varia had the other woman looking away guiltily.
All Varia could do was nod in understanding at Gabrielle's words. She could feel the questions being formed in Briella's minds as hazels eyes searched hers for answers. Only a hand full of Amazon's knew of her dealings with Ares, something she wasn't proud of. Having to explain to Briella what had transpired years before was not something she looked forward to sharing.
As silence descended upon them, Gabrielle couldn't stop herself from giving Varia an apologetic look, knowing that things that should stay buried in the past would soon have to be dug up for all to witness. As she moved past Briella, she could sense the uncertainty in the unspoken words that found no voice as the two young women looked at each other. The love was evident, but so was the fear of the unknown. It wasn't until Gabrielle noticed Ainia standing in the door way waiting to be addressed that she spoke again.
"What is it Ainia?" She asked quietly.
"We have word that Eve is near, she should be here by nightfall…" Ainia gave a small smile at the prospect of seeing Eve again. She hoped that Gabrielle would be happy as well. Her heart soared when she saw the full, genuine smile that the news brought to Gabrielle's face, cutting through the heavy tension that had once filled the room.
"Perfect…I'll wash up, eat…maybe take a walk…" Gabrielle began to muse aloud as she wandered out the door towards the bathhouse.
"Hey…don't forget…we need to talk…" Varia called out to Gabrielle's retreating back. When she felt Briella's hand slip into hers, she turned and gave a sheepish smile in return. "I guess we need to talk as well."
"When the time comes…I know you will tell me everything." Briella gave the hand in hers a gentle squeeze. "But it can wait…we have more important things to deal with." She tilted her head in the direction that Gabrielle was heading. "I think we may need to pay Leia a visit…something happened yesterday that shook that's girl's world and it most definitely had something to do with our fair haired Queen."
Varia nodded in agreement as she allowed Briella to lead her away from Gabrielle's room. As they passed Ainia, she couldn't help but notice the twinkle of anticipation in the young woman's eyes. It was the look of young love and she hoped beyond hope that she would see that same twinkle in Gabrielle's eyes again.
"Okay…wanna tell us what happened yesterday?" Varia crossed her arms and leaned back as she eyed Leia wearily. It hadn't been her intention for Gabrielle to meet Leia the way she had but it was too late to go back and change things now.
"Nope…" The young woman crossed her arms and glared back, her long blonde hair streaked with brown was now in a braid, giving Varia a pretty good view of the defiant expression on her face.
"Look, whatever happened out there…we don't blame you." Briella attempted to placate Leia.
"Whatever…" Leia turned her glare to Briella causing the older woman to change tactics.
"You know, that chip on your shoulder is mighty big…must be heavy sometimes." Briella leveled her gaze at the obstinate young woman. She almost flinched when the light blue eyes radiated anger and something else she couldn't quite recognize…perhaps pain. "Look…we just wanted to try to understand what caused Gabrielle to react the way she did."
"No, what you want to know is what I did to cause her to react the way she did." Leia huffed.
"Okay…yeah…" Varia uncrossed her arms and leaned forward so she could look into Leia's eyes, hoping to see whatever it was that had set off Gabrielle. She let out a heavy sigh when all she saw was the innocence of uncertainty looking back at her. "I don't think she has any idea what happened." Varia turned to Briella who gave her a look of surprise. Before she could protest, Varia stood and placed a hand on Leia's shoulder. "Gabrielle does have a way about her though, doesn't she?"
The question took Leia by surprise as she weakly nodded. She had had no intention of acknowledging that Gabrielle's presence had any effect on her when Varia posed the simple question but she couldn't stop herself from responding. The moment those green eyes looked into hers, she had felt her world shift and a rush of emotions she had forgotten she could feel washed over her and had rendered her immobile. It wasn't until she heard the anguished 'No' from Gabrielle that she realized she was the source of that anguish, but she didn't understand why. The idea that she had brought any sort of pain to the small blonde hurt Leia in ways she hadn't realized she could be hurt.
Varia studied the young woman for a moment before choosing her words carefully. There had been something different about Leia from the moment she had awakened from her accident, something that Varia couldn't quiet put her finger on. But as she continued to study the light blue eyes that practically glared back at her in defiance, she couldn't help but recognized something familiar, something that wasn't quite Leia looking back at her.
"I expect you to treat her with respect Leia…no matter what she may say…she is still our Queen." Varia finally spoke, breaking the silence that had become uncomfortable. When Leia didn't respond right away, Varia let go of her shoulder and spoke again. "You will have a chance to get to know her better…"
"Why?" Leia asked even though deep down, she was rejoicing at the idea of spending more time with Gabrielle. It was something that both frightened and surprised her.
"It is not your place to ask why, but to do what I ask of you." Varia turned but stopped to address the young woman over her shoulder before leaving. "I am asking you to get to know her Leia…I believe it will be good for you…" 'And her…' Varia thought to herself.
"I've no choice in the matter…do I?" Leia asked with a stubborn tone to her voice. She wasn't sure why she was still arguing or what about, but she just couldn't let anyone know she was looking forward to being around the green eyed blonde who had somehow changed her world.
"We always have a choice Leia…but may the Gods help us all if you make the wrong one." Varia's voice trailed off as the idea of having to banish the young woman caused her heart to ache. She had no idea why, but something told her that there was more to this meeting between Gabrielle and Leia than anyone realized. Gabrielle may not have had time to explain everything yet, but Varia was almost certain that the Gods were somehow involved.
With a defeated nod of her head, Leia acknowledged what Varia had said as she watched the two women leave. She was happy to finally be left alone to her thoughts, thoughts that included a small blonde with the greenest eyes she had ever seen. Leia couldn't stop the small smile from creasing her lips as her thoughts continued to linger on Gabrielle and the time they would be spending getting to know one another.
The sun had moved to its position low in the sky to indicate that it was late afternoon when Gabrielle finally found herself alone, wandering along a path towards a nearby lake. It was a place she had visited may times before, a place where she could find quiet solitude when she had something on her mind. Of course the quiet solitude had usually been broken by a worried warrior seeking out the young bard to make sure she was okay and it almost always ended with them entangled in each other's arms whether it be in the warm water or the tall grass. She couldn't help but smile at the memory even though it evoked a pain in her chest that almost took her breath away.
As she meandered along the water's edge before finally finding a spot to sit, her mind continued to wander over what had happened since her arrival. The God's had once again intervened in her life, meddling where they shouldn't but then she remembered what they had told her about Akimi. The fact that Xena had been so willing to give up everything…her life…Gabrielle…all because Akimi told her to caused Gabrielle to grit her teeth. A low, slow hiss escaped from her lips as her anger began to build deep within her, the same anger that seemed to be following her everywhere lately. It felt good to have that fire racing through her veins making her feel something…anything other than the numbness she had come to know. The warmth from the sun was no match for the heat that ran along her skin in ripples as she continued to silently seethe and curse the name she refused to say out loud. In the quiet stillness that surrounded her, she could have sworn she heard the whisper of laugher in the distance or perhaps it was just the light breeze that suddenly blew past her ruffling her hair. But if she allowed herself to think about it, she knew exactly who the laughter belonged to…Ares.
She pulled her boots off, set her sai's to the side and slipped her feet into the cool water before leaning back on her elbows to look up at the sky. The sun was bright and it caused her to squint her eyes but she could see the brilliant blue of the sky above through her half opened lids. The color reminded her of Xena's eyes when she was happy and she couldn't suppress the shutter that ran through her body as she remembered falling into that same color every time Xena looked at her.
The breeze picked up again, causing gentle ripples to move over the water towards the other side. Gabrielle had a lot to think about and she couldn't help but equate her life with those ripples that danced along the surface of the lake. Things were changing all around her and she wasn't sure she would be able to handle the task that been placed on her shoulders. There was much at stake, least of which was the destiny of a young woman she feared she wouldn't be able to help.
As the thought to just run came to Gabrielle's mind, she heard a faint snap in the background and tilted her head in the direction the sound had come from. She closed her eyes and listened as another sound, this time faint but closer carried to her. With as little movement as possible, she stayed that way…head tilted, eyes closed and listening intently while her right hand moved to the sai that sat next to the boots she had removed earlier. When her fingers found the familiar weapon, they curled around the cool steel. And then she took a deep breath before exploding into action on an exhale sending the sai sailing towards the tree several yards behind her, imbedding itself in the trunk. When she finally opened her eyes, she saw a tall, lanky figure jump from behind the tree in surprise.
"I don't take to kindly to being followed." Gabrielle called out to the tall blonde with the brown streaks weaved through out her long unruly hair. She didn't have to look to know that the eyes that peered at her in surprise and wonder were as blue as the sky above, as blue as she had remembered Xena's being.
"Um…I'm…um…sorry…" Leia lumbered forward, unsure of herself. The quickness that Gabrielle exhibited had her moving on shaky legs. It shouldn't have surprised her but it did. "I was just making sure you were…um…okay…" She held her hands up in a show of surrender.
"I see…and you think I need protecting?" Gabrielle turned her attention back to the lake. "What makes you think I can't protect myself?" The remark held a bite to it that she hadn't intended.
"On the contrary…I know you can protect yourself…" Leia moved closer still but stopped a few feet away because she wasn't sure how close she should get.
Gabrielle was quiet for a moment as she contemplated how much she wanted to be alone but she knew the time had some to face her past. "Come…have a seat." She finally said as she patted the empty spot next to her.
"Um…are you sure?" Leia hesitated to move until Gabrielle waved her over again, but this time with some impatience.
As Leia moved to sit next to Gabrielle she noticed that the other woman had yet to look at her and for some reason it bothered her. She wanted so much to look into those green eyes that had haunted her since the moment she had seen them.
For what seemed like an eternity, they sat in silence, each lost in thought before Gabrielle finally turned to look at Leia. The move took the younger woman by surprise, especially when she found herself gazing into the depths of green that matched the grass that surrounded them. For Gabrielle, the move was forced and caused her heart to ache when she looked into the light blue eyes that held more than just surprise. There was a familiarity that spoke to her in ways she never thought she'd experience again and it took everything in her not to gasp at the feeling.
"Are you alright?" Leia's voice was shaky as she tried to gain some semblance of control over the emotions that threatened to surface.
"I am…mostly…" Gabrielle gave a crooked grin as she dropped her eyes from the intensity of Leia's.
"I've heard rumors…you know…" Leia started to say but hesitated slightly because she wasn't sure if she should continue. When Gabrielle gave her a sideways look, it was followed by the slightest of nods to indicate she should continue. "Um…about another woman…a warrior you traveled with…are the stories true?"
"Ummmmm…" Gabrielle leaned her head back and closed her eyes as an image of Xena appeared behind her closed lids. "Depends on what you've heard?"
"Well…I heard that she used to follow Ares…that they called her the Destroyer of Nations and she held the command of many armies…in fact…she could have been the ruler of Greece and Rome even…" Leia's voice was wistful as she spoke.
"Some of that is true…but not all of it." Gabrielle opened her eyes as the image of the Xena she loved disappeared only to be replaced by the image of the warlord many had come to fear.
"I heard she gave it all up for love…" Leia's tone turned harsh as if she couldn't believe anyone could give up that much power for love. "I heard she gave it all up for you…"
Gabrielle was quiet for a moment as she tried to formulate an answer. Taking a deep breath, she turned to look Leia in the eyes again before speaking. "What you've heard isn't entirely true. Although we loved each other…she was already on her own path to redemption before we met. I only helped her move forward."
"So you were lovers?" Leia looked away as if she were suddenly shy.
"Yes…and soulmates even." Gabrielle studied the young woman who couldn't quiet meet her eyes. "She was my everything."
"Then why did she give it all up? How could she leave you the way she did?" Leia looked back at Gabrielle for the answer.
"What makes you think she's left me?" Gabrielle asked. She couldn't help but wonder if the questions Leia was asking were from her or from somewhere deeper inside.
"Because she's not here…" Leia looked away again as the gravity of the moment overwhelmed her. She didn't understand why she needed to know the answers to these questions or why she needed to hear them from Gabrielle herself but something deep inside of her was pushing her to. She also noticed that neither one of them could bring themselves to say the name 'Xena' aloud.
"Look Leia…just because she isn't here…physically…" Gabrielle grappled with her words as she tried to explain. "It doesn't mean that she isn't right here…all of the time." She reached up and placed her hand over her heart. When Leia looked back at her there was a familiar spark that could only belong to the woman she loved looking back at her. The sight confused her and an overwhelming feeling to wrap her arms around Leia almost caused her to do something she wasn't ready to do. They sat like that, quietly staring into each other's eyes, neither willing to break eye contact until the sound of someone softly clearing their throat interrupted them.
"Um…Queen Gabrielle…" Ainia spoke softly as if she was afraid of breaking the spell between them. "Eve has arrived…" She glanced at Leia, surprised to find the young woman sitting with Gabrielle and not off causing some sort of trouble.
Gabrielle blinked a few times as the words sank in and then she suddenly pushed up from the ground. Reaching down, she offered Leia a hand and pulled her up as well. "What say I introduce to my…daughter…" She said with a smile and just as quickly the flicker behind the blues eyes disappeared only to be replaced by uncertainty. "Come on…I think you'll like Eve…you've got a lot in common." Gabrielle wrapped an arm around a very surprised Leia as she led her away from the lake. As they walked away, Gabrielle couldn't help but wonder exactly how alike Eve and Leia really were.