*Sorry for the delay on this one…I hope to back at it on a regular schedule from now on.

Chapter 8

Gabrielle sat back and watched the hustle and bustle of women moving through the mess hall, only half listening to the conversation between Eve and Camilla. Her eyes continued to seek out something she never thought she'd need again, affirmation from someone other than Xena. After she had led Eve away from Leia and Varia she hadn't noticed that neither of them had followed. The emptiness she felt at Leia's absence was almost as bad as the knot that had formed in her stomach at the realization that she missed the young woman. It had been far too long since she had felt anything remotely similar to anticipation and she wasn't sure what to do with herself, so she let out a heavy sigh. She couldn't help but feel foolish, her heart belonged to one person and one person only. The burden of knowing that Leia was truly Xena was almost too much for her to bear as she sat in contemplative silence next to Eve.

Eve had sensed the shift in Gabrielle's mood and even though it had been years since she had been around her, she recognized the sadness that radiated off of the older woman. Her heart broke when she thought of how much Gabrielle had loved Xena and how lost Gabrielle had become in her absence.

"Hey…you alright?" Eve whispered into Gabrielle's ear when she heard the heavy sigh. She could tell that Gabrielle wasn't really listening to the conversation that was taking place next to her and she couldn't help but wonder where her mind had wandered off to.

"Yeah…I'm fine." Gabrielle answered with a sad smile. She wasn't fine though and it was taking all of her energy to pretend she was.

"I know you…and you are far from fine." Eve placed her hand on the arm next to hers and gave it a gently squeeze. "Talk to me, please."

The dark blue eyes that looked at her were filled with the same plea that Gabrielle had heard in the spoken words. Shaking her head in an effort to push aside her feelings, the ones that Eve could read so well caused her bangs to drop down covering her eyes. But before she could reach up to brush them aside, Eve's fingers were already there pushing the blonde hair away. The fingers lingered briefly before Eve's hand came down so she could cup Gabrielle's cheek in the palm of her hand. The move caused Gabrielle to look down, not quiet able to meet the intense stare she knew she would find if she were to look up but Eve was having none of that.

"I know you miss her." Eve's words were barely a whisper as she tilted Gabrielle's face up so she could look into the green eyes she had come to recognize as home. "I do to."

"I'm sorry…I shouldn't have stayed away for so long." Gabrielle let out another heavy breath. "I let my grief keep me from being the mother you needed…"

"I still need my mother Gabrielle." Eve tried to smile under the weight of emotion she was feeling. "It isn't too late."

"I know I'm not your real mother, but…" Gabrielle started to say but was immediately interrupted by Camilla who was doing her best not to look like she was eavesdropping.

"Hogwash…there's no doubt in my mind that she's your daughter just as much as if you'd carried her for nine months and given birth to her yourself." Camilla scoffed. "You can't deny the bond you have…it's as strong as any mother-daughter I know."

Gabrielle couldn't hide her surprise at Camilla's words that were filled with a conviction she herself felt. It was nice to have someone else confirm what she already knew in her heart, that she was indeed Eve's mom. "Thanks Cam." She reached over to place her hand on top of Camilla's before turning her attention back to Eve. "So…wanna tell me what you've been up to for the past few years? Anyone special in your life?"

"Well…," Eve smiled at Gabrielle. The sudden change in subject hadn't gone unnoticed and she vowed to return to the subject sometime soon. "As you know, I've been traveling and spreading the word of Eli…," she paused before giving Gabrielle a sideways glance. "And no, there isn't anyone special in my life…yet."

The way that Eve's eyes had scanned the room as she briefly hesitated before answering the question caught Gabrielle's attention. It was only when she finished the sentence that her eyes lit up causing Gabrielle to look in the same direction as Eve at the tall, lean figure of Ainia as she entered the room.

"Hmmmm…I thought that maybe you and Virgil…," Gabrielle mused aloud as she saw the silent communication taking place between Eve and Ainia.

"We decided that we made better friend's than lovers." Eve blushed slightly. "What?" She shrugged her shoulders when Gabrielle tilted her head to regard her with curiosity.

"I didn't know." Gabrielle tried to stifle a chuckle. "I guess you truly are an Amazon."

"Hey…I've had my fair share of relations, and yes with both men and women…," Eve paused as she chose her words wisely. "I've just found that I'm more compatible with women."

"Aren't we all...," Camilla laughed as she clapped Eve on the back.

"Well, far be it from me to make assumptions…but is there something going on between you and Ainia?" Gabrielle asked, not at all sure how she felt about the prospect of Eve and Ainia. It wasn't that she disliked Ainia, but Eve had taken the path of peace and Ainia was a warrior.

"Perhaps…," Eve gave a sly smile in response. "It is something I am willing to revisit while I am here."

"Revisit?" Gabrielle seemed surprised.

"There was a time when I thought about settling down and it was due mostly to Ainia." Eve looked down at her hands. "Haven't you ever thought about it?"

A smile slid across Gabrielle's face at the memory of a time when Eve was a baby. She and Xena had come to live with the Amazon's for a spell so that she could take care of some of her responsibilities as Queen. It was a time of quiet and contemplative rest…a time that she thought might open the door for them to finally settle in one place. It hadn't been until Xena had read her scrolls that Gabrielle had realized how much Xena had missed being out on the open road searching out new adventures. It was in her blood and Gabrielle hadn't the heart to take that away from her love so they set out, leaving a quiet and mundane life behind them.

"As a matter of fact…I have." Gabrielle tried not to smirk. "You were just a baby and I begged Xena to settle down here with the Amazons. But you know your mother, wanderlust runs through her veins. I loved her too much to keep her here, so we left."

"She would have stayed you know…," Eve sighed. "At least she loved you enough to try…"

"Oh, she did try…it was the only time we ever really fought." Gabrielle shook her head at the memory. Not only had they fought, but they had made up every night before they went to sleep. She could feel her cheeks flush at the thought of falling asleep wrapped in Xena's arms after they had made love. Her chest suddenly felt tight, causing her to take a shaky breath.

"Why didn't you ever join in the traditional Amazon way?" Eve asked. It was something that she had always wondered about.

"What, in a hand-binding ceremony?" Gabrielle asked and Eve nodded. "I don't know? I guess we just always thought there'd be time…" Another shuttering breath shook Gabrielle as regret settled in the pit her stomach. "I guess we were wrong." She said just as her eyes fell upon familiar blue ones that seemed to reflect the same pain that she knew was evident in her own.

When Leia stepped into the mess hall, her intention was to find some food or at least that's what she told herself. She could feel eyes watching her with curiosity and uncertainty as she made her way across the room but there were only one set of eyes that mattered to her. It only took a second for her gaze to lock on to Gabrielle's and in an instant she could feel herself falling into the green that looked back. For a brief moment she thought she could read Gabrielle's mind. She sensed a sadness so heavy that her heart almost broke as they continued to stare at one another. Not only was there was sadness, regret, and uncertainty but she saw relief in Gabrielle's eyes and for some reason she understood each and every emotion she saw deep within the gaze that met her own. Something washed over her, threatening to carry her away and it was all she could do to hang onto the moment as she stopped and watched Gabrielle from across the room. She was feeling a little light-headed and dizzy as unfamiliar feelings almost overcame her causing her to finally break the eye contact that had become way too intense for her. Her heart was racing and her palms were sweating with an uncertainty she had never experienced before, leaving her feeling exhausted and humbled at the same time. When she had entered the mess hall, anger had been the primary emotion, brought to the forefront by her encounter with Ainia but as she got closer to Gabrielle, a peacefulness settled over her and it was frightening.

A multitude of emotions passed across Gabrielle's face even though she tried to remain impassive. The sight of Leia both soothed and scared her. She was soothed by the gentle understanding she saw looking back at her but the fact that she recognized it scared her as well. Her stomach twisted with an anticipation she hadn't felt in years by the presence of the young warrior.

Gabrielle continued to study Leia as she moved across the room with purpose before stopping and dropping her gaze, something caught her attention, something that caused her stomach to twist for another reason. The beginnings of a dark bruise were spreading across the fair skin of Leia's cheek. Not only was there a bruise but she could also see a cut caked in dry blood marring her lips.

"I think that Leia is experiencing a touch of hero worship…" Varia's voice said from behind Gabrielle, surprising her. Her attention had been so focused on Leia that she hadn't realized that Varia was standing close watching as Gabrielle's eyes followed the young woman.

"I'm no hero Varia." Gabrielle said with a sigh as she shook her head trying to dispel the trance she seemed to be under. With a movement that seemed to appear casual, she reached up and ran her fingers through her hair but her hands were shaking. "Wanna tell me why Leia has a bruise on her cheek and a cut on her lip?" She turned to watch as Varia took the seat on her other side, opposite from Eve.

"Well…," Varia had noticed Gabrielle's shaking hands but did her best not to acknowledge what she had seen. "I think that Ainia is a little jealous…but…," she held up her hand to stop Gabrielle from interrupting. "We can both see that Leia has eyes for only one Amazon and it isn't Eve."

Gabrielle let out a heavy sigh. She had been hoping that no one had noticed but she should have known that Varia was too astute to let something like that get past her. "It's just a crush." Even as she said the words out loud she knew they weren't very convincing. Glancing over at Ainia she noticed that she didn't have any marks on her. "So what happened?"

"Ainia challenged Leia and much to my surprise…Leia refused to be baited." Varia glanced over towards Leia who was watching them with interest. "You've only spent two days with her and she's…," she hesitated briefly before deciding what she wanted to say. "She's changed Gabrielle and we both know it's because of you."

"She's young and impressionable. She doesn't know what she wants…" Gabrielle tried to dismiss what Varia was saying.

"And she's about the same age you were when you made the decision to follow Xena and look how that turned out." Vaira said under her breath.

"Don't push me Varia." Gabrielle growled as she gripped the table tightly, turning her knuckles white. "I won't have you comparing this to what Xena and I had." Her voice was tight with anger. It had been the same argument Aphrodite had given her earlier. She hadn't accepted it then and she wasn't willing to accept it now.

"You're right…I'm sorry." Varia said with a sigh. She knew that it had been too much too soon but she thought she might test the waters. It had been a mistake. "Look…I know it still hurts Gabrielle." Reaching over she placed her hand over the white knuckles that were squeezing the table.

"Only when I breath Varia." Gabrielle suddenly pushed herself away from the table and stood. "I need to get out of here…" She leaned over and placed a quick kiss to Eve's cheek pulling her attention away from the conversation she was having with Camillia. "I'll see you in the morning beautiful girl."

"Um'kay…" Eve said before Gabrielle slipped past them towards the door. She waited until Gabrielle was far enough away and then she turned to Varia, a frown on her face. "Why did you do that?"

"I was just testing a theory." Varia didn't turn to look at Eve as she spoke but watched as Leia got up and followed Gabrielle. "And I believe I may be right." She nodded towards the door where Leia hesitated briefly before leaving.

"You're playing a very dangerous game; you know that right?" Eve shook her head. "Hasn't she lost enough already?"

"She deserves to be happy Eve, even if she doesn't think so." Varia tried to reason. "And I have a strange feeling that someone else has a hand in this…I just haven't figured out who yet."

"Well, if you insist on playing with fire, I hope you're prepared for the possibility of getting burned." Eve said.

"Gabrielle is my sister Eve and if it means that I have to walk through fire to help her find happiness again…then that's what I'll do." Vaira spoke with a conviction that caused Eve to raise an eyebrow. "Now, if you'll excuse me…I think I should go find my better half." She placed a hand on Eve's shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze before she stood to leave. "I'll see you tomorrow…and Eve…I'm glad you're here." And with those final words she turned and left Eve alone to contemplate their conversation.

Leia had watched as Gabrielle got up and left Varia and Eve. Even though Gabrielle had tried to appear calm, Leia could see a fire simmering underneath the calm façade as she headed towards the door. Her instinct was to follow and make sure Gabrielle was alright, but she felt unsure of herself and unable to move. It wasn't until Gabrielle glanced over her shoulder in her direction that Leia made up her mind.

When she stepped outside, the air was heavy and the heat from the late afternoon clung to her as the sun dipped lower in the sky. She looked around, trying to see where Gabrielle had disappeared to but it was too late, she was already gone leaving an emptiness in her wake. Leia took a deep breath and tried to clear her mind in an attempt to think of where the older woman may have gone. There was a stillness that beckoned to her, calling out from the training grounds and she decided to look there first. She didn't question her instincts because up until that moment they had been right when it came to Gabrielle and she hoped it would continue to be the case.

As Leia stepped from the shade of the trees, a small frown creased her brow at the sight of Gabrielle sitting cross legged in the dirt. Her head was held high and her eyes were closed as if she was meditating and Leia wasn't sure what she should do. She watched as the wind blew gently past her, moving over Gabrielle. Golden strands of hair ruffled along Gabrielle's brow and over her ears causing her to smile. Leia had the feeling that her presence was known and the smile was meant for her. It was a familiar smile, one that she could have sworn she had seen even with her eyes closed. Something stirred within her, something foreign but not undesirable causing her to do the one thing she hadn't been ready to do…say Gabrielle's name.

"Gabrielle…?" Leia's voice was strong and even as she called out.

Tilting her head towards the sky, Gabrielle couldn't help but silently ask whatever Gods were listening to spare her the heartache she was sure she would experience if she didn't put some distance between her and the young Amazon but then she heard her name, spoken with a reverence she hadn't heard in over three years. A dull ache settled in her chest because she knew when she opened her eyes she wouldn't find Xena watching her with those sky blue eyes filled with never ending love. No, when she opened her eyes, she would find someone else whose eyes would be filled with something she knew she would never be able to return. No matter what Aphrodite tried to tell her, Xena was gone and that was the hard truth she would have to live with.

"Gabrielle…"

This time the voice was firm and direct demanding Gabrielle's attention. A shiver ran up her spine as the tone reached into her and shook her from her melancholy. There was something different in the way that Leia had spoken her name the second time and the familiarity of it crashed down on Gabrielle light a heavy weight. Perhaps if she could just keep her eyes closed long enough, she would open them to find Xena standing in front of her with her head cocked to the side giving her that pensive expression Gabrielle had come to love.

Opening her eyes, Gabrielle let out a sad sigh as Leia came into focus and the sight before her pushed aside any misconceptions she may have had.

"We're going to have to quite meeting like this or people will start talking." Gabrielle gave a crooked smile as she watched Leia move to stand in front of her.

"Let them talk." Leia said defiantly as she dropped down to sit on the ground facing Gabrielle. "I don't care what anyone thinks."

Gabrielle was quiet for a moment as she contemplated the young woman sitting across from her. There was a quiet strength emanating from her and it seemed to contradict the image of the person Varia had described to her earlier. "Why did you follow me?" She finally spoke.

"I don't know…you just looked like you could use someone to talk to." Leia held the green gaze that dared her to look away.

"And what if I wanted to be alone?" Gabrielle pushed.

"Then you'd tell me to leave…," Leia took a deep breath as she hesitated. "But you won't do that."

"Arrogance doesn't look good on you Leia." Gabrielle sighed.

"It's not arrogance, it's self-assurance." Leia continued to look into penetrating green eyes. "I've never been what you would call astute to other people's feelings but there's something about you Gabrielle…there's some kind of instinct that kicks in when I'm around you. I can't explain it…it just is."

The weight of Leia's words finally hit Gabrielle causing her to look away from the intense blue eyes that seemed to see more than she was willing to admit. "I haven't connected with anyone on an emotional level for a long time…not since…," she let out a shaky breath, unable to say the name that was on the tip of her tongue.

"Since Xena." When Leia spoke it was almost a declaration and it caused a stirring of emotion she was unfamiliar with to burn in her chest. She had never been jealous of another person in her life but as had been the case since meeting Gabrielle, she was experiencing many new feelings she couldn't always identify. Taking a chance, she reached out to brush a few strands of blonde hair away from Gabrielle's forehead. "Look, I'm not looking to declare my love for you Gabrielle…but I would like to be your friend." Even as she spoke the words she knew they were a lie. She wanted nothing more than to tell the older woman she would follow her to the ends of the earth and love her until the end of time but she knew it would not be a welcome affirmation.

"I don't know if I have anything left in me to share with you Leia." Gabrielle tried to ignore the warm tingle that Leia's fingers elicited when they brushed against her skin. "But," she hesitated and took a deep breath before continuing. "I'll try."

"That's all I ask of you." Leia sighed in relief. For some reason she suddenly felt much older and wiser. There was just something about being close to Gabrielle that set her mind at ease and caused her to see things differently than before.

"You know I can't offer you anymore than friendship?" Gabrielle finally looked back at Leia who gave her a crooked grin, one that looked so much like the one she had seen on Xena's face so many times she couldn't count. It was almost too much for her but with a steady breath she was able to stay the overwhelming rush of emotions.

"Can I ask you something?" Leia decided to change the subject.

"Um…okay…," Gabrielle tilted her head to the side to regard Leia with a renewed interest.

"Why do you wear so many clothes?" Leia started to say but quickly changed her wording when Gabrielle looked surprised. "I mean; you don't dress like a traditional Amazon. You're all covered up." She waved her hands over the light buckskin shirt Gabrielle was wearing. The soft suede held an inviting presence about it and Leia couldn't help but reach over and touch it.

"I suppose it's just something I've gotten used to over the years." Gabrielle bit down on her bottom lip as she contemplated whether she should tell Leia the truth. With a heavy sigh, she decided she would. "And I just don't want to have to explain the tattoo I have on my back."

"A tattoo?" Leia lifted a light eyebrow in question as she studied Gabrielle to determine if she was telling the truth.

"Yes…I got it in Japa." Gabrielle said but didn't offer any more explanation.

"Will you show it to me someday?" Leia's expression softened.

"Perhaps…when the time is right." Gabrielle's answer was somewhat cryptic before silence descended upon them. It wasn't an uncomfortable quiet but one that held a familiarity that both Gabrielle and Leia recognized.

As they continued to watch each other without speaking, Leia felt an intense need to touch Gabrielle. It was a need so strong that she couldn't stop herself from reaching out to intertwine her fingers with Gabrielle's. It surprised her to feel the slight tremor in the strong hands she held within her own and it caused her to give a gentle squeeze of reassurance.

The moment that Leia reached for her hand, Gabrielle was almost overcome with the memory of a time long ago when she had been shot with a poison arrow and was on the verge of death. And as she lay, gasping for breath, Xena had come to her and held her hand in almost the same way to reassure her that she was still there, that she wasn't going anywhere. The memory was so strong, it caused a shiver to run through Gabrielle's body and into Leia's. Neither spoke as they continued to look into each other's eyes, silently conveying the things they couldn't say out loud. It was a comfort to Gabrielle, to have this connection, however brief it may have been. Before either of them could comprehend what was happening, a familiar voice called out from behind Gabrielle breaking the spell.

"Well, if it isn't the 'Battling Bard of Potidaea'…"

A smile spread across Gabrielle's face at the sound of the familiar voice. She quickly released Leia's hand, but not before giving a reassuring squeeze in return. Pushing herself up from the ground, she turned and greeted someone she hadn't seen in far too many years.

"Eponin!"