Okay, so about half way through this one I switched the names from Leia to Xena so it doesn't get confusing. Anyway, this is a story about Gabrielle and Xena after all.
12
Leia leaned against the open doorway of Gabrielle's quarters and waited to be invited in. After their time together at the lake, her heart hadn't stopped beating double time with the thought that Gabrielle had finally accepted who she was, but she couldn't help but wonder where things would go from here. Her body yearned for Gabrielle's familiar touch amidst the newness of their rediscovery. Things she couldn't remember feeling before were now begging to be explored as she watched her love with a new appreciation. As her mind and eyes wandered, she didn't realize she was smiling in that coy way that Gabrielle recognized immediately.
"Hmmmm, I know that smile." Gabrielle stood a few feet away from Leia. She tilted her head and put her hands on her hips as she regarded the younger woman.
"You do, do you?" Leia's smile widened as she continued to watch Gabrielle. A weight had lifted under their mutual acceptance and she felt she could finally take in the figure in front of her without restraint.
"Yes I do." Gabrielle took a step closer to Leia and gave her a shy smile. "Aren't you going to come in?"
"Well, I was waiting to be invited." Leia tried not to smirk.
"Alright…," Gabrielle rolled her eyes as she reached out to take Leia's arm and pull her into the small but comfortable living quarters. "Come on."
"Only if you insist." Leia allowed herself to be pulled along.
"We still have a lot to talk about." Gabrielle turned serious. She directed Leia to sit in a chair with the wave of her hand.
"Where do you want to start?" Leia crossed her arms and frowned. Her expression couldn't hide her disappointment.
"Well, there is the council meeting tomorrow night and after that I may not be welcome here anymore." Gabrielle let out a heavy sigh as she sat on the edge of her bed. An overwhelming feeling of despair washed over her and she dropped her head into her hands.
Leia didn't move, instead she watched with a pain in her chest the angst that was radiating off of Gabrielle. She knew she needed to give her space, allow her to work things out on her own but it wasn't easy to watch. Her knowledge of the situation was limited giving her little to offer in the way of suggestions but she still wished she could help.
Raking her fingers down her face, Gabrielle finally lifted her head and looked at Leia. She gave a quick shake of the head as if she could dispel the uneasy feeling before resting her chin in the palm of her hand. The look on Leia's face told her she needed to share her plan, she needed to trust that things would work out.
"What do you know?" Gabrielle huffed in frustration as she pushed her bangs from her eyes.
"I know that the Gods have intervened in a way that is causing chaos in your life." Leia tried to look sympathetic but only succeeded in looking angry.
"In our lives…," Gabrielle let out another heavy sigh. "It seems to be a running commentary. I don't think there's ever been a time when they haven't somehow been present…good or bad."
"Okay, so what does Ares have to do with it?" Leia leaned forward, placed her elbows on her knees, and mimicked Gabrielle with her chin in her hand.
"Everything…," Gabrielle's shoulders sagged. She suddenly felt tired and wanted nothing more than to lay back and shut out the world.
"Don't shut down on me Gabrielle." Leia's voice held a warning she wasn't sure she understood.
"Why did you say that?" Gabrielle lifted her chin and held her head up in an almost defiant way.
"I don't know. It just…," Leia hesitated. "It just came out."
"That's because it's something Xena would have said." Gabrielle looked away from questioning blue eyes. "I'm just so tired. I don't know if I have it in me to fight again."
"So that's it? You're just going to give up on me…us?" This time Leia had a clear understanding of the anger she was feeling.
Gabrielle turned her head just enough to see the anger that flashed in Leia's eyes and she shook her head. "I didn't say that." Her voice was barely a whisper.
"Then why does it feel that way?" The muscles in Leia's jaws flexed as she clinched her teeth.
"I don't know." Gabrielle took a deep breath as the flicker of anger grew in her chest. "What I do know, is that you left me." She jumped up and pointed a finger at Leia. "You left me three years ago to do all of this without you." Her chest was heaving with the anger that was now coursing through her. "So forgive me if I'm feeling a little tired."
"You're feeling sorry for yourself." Leia countered without batting an eye.
It was as if Gabrielle had just been slapped with the truth and she struggled to keep the tears from falling. "So what if I am." She sat back down, taking slower breaths. "You left me and for what? Some romantic notion of the 'Greater Good'?" The tears started to sting her eyes causing her to angrily wipe at them with the backs of her hands.
"Is that what you think?" Leia's expression softened. "Why would you think I would ever willing leave you?"
"Because Aphrodite and Artemis told me what really happened. How Akimi tricked you into staying with her. You…," Gabrielle pointed at Leia again. "Chose her over me!"
For a moment the room filled with silence as Leia tried to understand what Gabrielle was telling her. She couldn't remember why or how she had died but she knew in her heart she would never choose anyone over Gabrielle. Gabrielle was her world…her soulmate…her everything and she would move heaven and earth so they could be together. She furrowed her brow as an image of Gabrielle as an archangel flashed in her mind but the image didn't stay long.
"I'm sorry Gabrielle. I don't remember what happened but I know I would never do that. There must have been another reason…there had to be." Leia didn't want to believe she could do what Gabrielle had accused her of.
Gabrielle was quiet for a moment and then her shoulders sagged in defeat. Her accusations had no foundation and she knew it. It was just anger that caused her to say those things to Leia. It was anger that had given her comfort over the last few years. And if she wasn't careful, it would be anger that would lead her to Ares just like he wanted. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have gotten angry with you." She let out a long held breath. "And you're right. I've had some time to think about it and I realize that you thought you were doing the right thing. I guess we both did. But it just never felt right and now I know why."
"Tell me, please." Leia's voice held a soft plea.
"It was all a ploy. Akimi convinced you that by staying with her, you would save hundreds of thousands of souls. Souls you felt responsible for." Gabrielle closed her eyes briefly as she thought back to that time three years ago. "But it wasn't true. None of it was true." When she opened her eyes she saw a sadness in Leia's eyes that could only come from Xena. "You remember…don't you?"
Leia dropped her gaze before looking back into Gabrielle's eyes. She hadn't remembered everything but the more Gabrielle talked, the more fleeting images raced through her mind until the realization of what was being said sank in. The memory of Akimi trying to hold onto her as she was ripped away from her grip became as vivid as if it were taking place at that moment. All of the pain and anguish she felt then came flooding back to her and it took her breath away.
"Leia?" Gabrielle moved to kneel in front of Leia. When there was no answer, she took Leia's hands in her own and tried to get her attention. She was surprised to find that Leia's eyes had glazed over and she seemed to be a million miles away. It wasn't until Leia gasped for air that Gabrielle was spurred into action. She dropped the hands in her own and grabbed Leia by the shoulders, giving her a gentle shake. "Leia…please…come back to me." She pleaded.
All Leia could do was shake her head as Gabrielle continued to call out her name. It sounded faraway and muddled her thoughts. Memories continued to assault her, causing a deep pain in her chest and when she was finally able to focus on Gabrielle she couldn't find her voice.
"Look at me." Gabrielle demanded as she gripped Leia's face and forced her to stop shaking her head. She could see blue eyes clouded over with confusion, uncertainty, and fear so she did the only thing she could think of…she leaned forward and kissed the lips she had been craving to touch since the first day they met.
"Well, it's about damn time you did that." Aphrodite appeared in a flourish of sparkling light and smoke.
Gabrielle let out a frustrated sigh as she pulled away from Leia and their kiss. She didn't open her eyes right away as she tried to count to ten to calm herself. Taking a few deep breaths gave her the calm she needed to feel before opening her eyes. But when she did finally open her eyes, it wasn't Aphrodite she was looking at…it was Xena.
"It's official. I've finally lost my mind." Gabrielle threw her hands up in the air and spoke to the ceiling as she lifted her head to look up.
"I'm not sure I agree with you." Leia had a look of confusion on her face as she watched Gabrielle fling her hands around. She could see Aphrodite standing over Gabrielle's shoulder and couldn't help but wonder why she looked so smug.
"It must be exhaustion. Or maybe I'm asleep." Gabrielle stood up and started to pace, and then she realized she had forgotten that Aphrodite was in the room. "This has something to do with you, doesn't it?" She turned her attention to the blonde Goddess of Love.
"Why, whatever do you mean?" Aphrodite feigned innocence.
"This!" Gabrielle waved her hands over Leia who was now the exact replica of Xena.
"Maybe…," Aphrodite smirked as she wrapped a curly lock of hair around her finger.
"What are you trying to do to me? I thought we were friends." Gabrielle's voice was again filled anguish.
"It wasn't my intention to hurt you Gabrielle." The playfulness from earlier disappeared as Aphrodite turned serious.
"Why?" Gabrielle looked over at Leia or was it Xena?
"Sometimes even when our heart knows something, our eyes need to see it as well." Aphrodite glanced over at Xena and couldn't help but smile at the sight of her old friend. "Make no mistakes, it is her…," She paused and looked back at Gabrielle. "But only you can see her this way."
With wide eyes, Gabrielle looked from Aphrodite to Leia…no Xena, who sat looking up at her with a surprised expression on her face. She recognized the long black hair that reminded her of midnight, the smooth skin tanned by days in the sun, and the bluest eyes she had ever known to exist. Xena was actually sitting in her room looking at her with a confused expression on her face.
"What's going on?" Leia (Xena) asked.
"It seems as if I still have a little magic left in these fingers." Aphrodite wiggled her fingers to emphasize what she talking about.
"So if I see Xena, who does everyone else see?" Gabrielle moved closer to Leia (Xena).
"Everyone else will see who they've always seen. They will see Leia." Aphrodite gave Gabrielle a small smile.
"I just…, I just don't understand." Gabrielle looked back and forth between the two women again.
"What's there to understand Sweet Pea? I thought it would make it easier for you to accept the truth if you could see it too." Aphrodite shrugged her shoulders.
"Is this temporary?" Gabrielle asked suspiciously.
"It doesn't have to be." Aphrodite's smile widened.
"Hey…would either of you care to explain to me what you're talking about?" Leia (Xena) stood up in an effort to get someone's attention.
"Does she see Xena or Leia in her reflection?" Gabrielle asked as she reached out to take Leia's hand.
"She will see her true self, just as you do." Aphrodite's light blue eyes twinkled with hope.
"What will make this permanent?" Gabrielle was afraid that there would be strings attached. There always were when it came to the Gods.
"If you agree to this, then Artemis promised to help me. It is the least we can do." Aphrodite reached out to cup Gabrielle's cheek. It was a gesture meant to comfort or perhaps it was meant as an apology.
Gabrielle leaned into the touch on her cheek and closed her eyes as if it would make it easier for her to decide. She took a deep breath and then exhaled slowly before opening her eyes again to look at Xena. Her heart stuttered at the sight before her. The familiar figure of her soulmate brought a renewed sense of hope, something she hadn't felt in longer than she could remember. She pulled Xena closer to her so they were facing each other. With only inches to separate them, Gabrielle reached up to place a palm on either side of Xena's face. Looking up into those blue eyes made her feel slightly dizzy and she smiled at the feeling. Her hands began to tremble as she ran a thumb over those lips that knew her body so well. "I've missed you so much." She said as her thumb slowly trailed down Xena's bottom lip, her chin, and then her throat. "I've dreamt about you almost every night since you left me, but this…," she hesitated as her eyes moved up and down the body in front of her. "Being able to touch you, to feel you…it's almost too much."
"Let them do this, please." Xena's voice held a soft plea. "My memories are coming back to me and it won't be much longer before I remember everything." She couldn't stop the shiver from racing through her body at Gabrielle's touch.
The room suddenly became silent while Gabrielle contemplated what she wanted to do. She ran her hand down Xena's arm and could feel the muscle tighten in the bicep her fingers trailed along. The memory of Xena's body came back to her and she recognized the strength beneath the soft skin under her hand. For a moment she was in awe that Leia's body felt just like Xena's and that her own body remembered every curve and dip as her fingers continued to explore. "I wonder…," her voice was almost a whisper as she lifted up on her toes and pressed her lips against the slightly parted ones above her. It started off chaste but then it deepened as the memory of the love they had shared so long ago flooded her mind and heart. Her body responded and the knowledge that the arms wrapping around her waist felt familiar was something she never thought she'd experience again. Reaching up, she threaded her fingers in long, dark, silky hair and allowed herself to drink in the physical closeness of the only person who had every touched her the way she was being touched at that moment. With some effort, she pulled back just enough to speak as she continued to be held captive by her need. "I'll do it…," Her voice was fleeting before she turned her attention back to the woman who held her in her arms.
"Thank the Gods!" Aphrodite threw her hands up in the air in praise. "Oh wait, that's me." She laughed and twirled, ending with an exaggerated bow. "I suppose I should let Artemis know that you've given us the all clear." When there was no response she put her hands on her hips and cleared her throat. "Excuse me, but I'm still here." Her irritation at the fact that she was being ignored colored her cheeks.
"Sorry Dite." Gabrielle untangled herself from Xena's arms and lips.
"Well…no harm, no foul." Aphrodite gave an embarrassed shrug. It was one thing to know how much Gabrielle loved Xena, but to see it…up close and personal was another matter altogether.
"So what happens now?" Xena asked, her expression serious as she waited for an answer.
"We should decide what to do about Ares I suppose." Gabrielle tilted her head to regard both sets of eyes that were watching her with interest.
"I think I'm gonna leave the planning up to you Sweet Pea…," Aphrodite leaned towards Gabrielle to place a quick kiss to her cheek before turning her attention to Xena. "And you, don't let anything happen to her." She said pointing a finger at Xena.
"I can take care of myself." Gabrielle grumbled and crossed her arms like a petulant child.
"I know you can, but now you don't have to." Aphrodite's expression softened and she smiled. "Now, if you'll excuse me ladies…I'll catch you on the flip side." And with that she disappeared in a puff of smoke.
"That wasn't as showy as her entrance." Xena waved the smoke away from her face and coughed.
"Yeah, well…," Gabrielle shrugged her shoulders. "Sometimes she forgets she's such a drama queen."
They were quiet for a minute as they waited for the smoke to clear from the room but it decided to linger a little longer, turning a soft pink before dissipating in a glittery whiff.
"I guess she didn't forget." Xena smiled at the silvery glitter that dropped to the floor. When she looked up from the shiny speckles that now littered the space around her feet, she noticed that Gabrielle was staring at her with an intensity that caused her stomach to flutter. "Gabrielle?" Her voice was low as she drew out each syllable in that way she had done so many times before.
"Please…just let me look at you." Gabrielle's said on a breathless whisper. "I just want to remember exactly how you look at this moment in case this is just a dream." She had a deep look of concentration on her face as she did her best to commit to memory the woman standing before her.
"It's not a dream my love." Xena took a step toward Gabrielle.
"Ummm, you haven't call me that in years." A dreamy expression replaced the look of concentration.
"I'll make sure not to make the same mistake this time." Xena reached out and took Gabrielle by the hand before pulling her into a hug.
"You promise?" Gabrielle sighed against broad shoulders, the same broad shoulders that always seemed to carry the weight of the world.
"I do." Xena rested her chin on top of Gabrielle's head and sighed in contentment at the thought that they had finally come full circle…again. "Gabrielle?"
"Hummm?" Gabrielle murmured against Xena's chest where her check lay.
"Can I kiss you?" Xena's voice was shy and uncertain.
The shyness in Xena's voice was something new to Gabrielle. She pulled back to look up into the blue eyes she knew so well. What she saw made her realized that even though Xena looked like herself, she was still missing some monumental memories. And those missing pieces would probably make Xena unsure and reserved when she wouldn't be otherwise. For the first time in way too long, she smiled causing her nose to crinkle and eyes to light up. "Please…," her voice was slightly breathless but before their lips could touch, there was a light knock at the door. With a frustrated huff, she pulled Xena down into a quick kiss filled with promise. "This isn't over." She growled as she turned her attention to the door and prepared herself to admonish the person on the other side.