Somewhere far away, I can hear the crowd murmuring. I scan every face looking for the only person who could understand my fear; Gale, but find Prim's eyes instead. The blood drains from her face, her fists clench at her sides and I realize that for the first time I can remember she is angry. Angry at me.
"Katniss Everdeen" Effie repeats, and I drag my eyes from Prims to look up to the stage and slowly step forward.
"Katniss!" The strangled cry comes from behind me as I take another step. I know it's Gale, but I don't look back. "Katniss!"
I don't need to shove through the crowd. The other girls make way
immediately allowing me a straight path to the stage.
I reach the stage just as the footsteps behind me halt and Gale pulls me by the hand to turn around and face him. His ragged breathing steadies and his eyes have the same resolve I saw in the woods. In another breath, his hands are cupping my cheeks and he presses his lips to mine. They are soft and yet... so foreign. This is my first real kiss, I realize, and a small voice whispers in my mind that it could be my last. I close my eyes and tug him closer to me realizing this is probably good-bye. As Gale lowers his hands to wrap his arms around my waist, I raise mine to wrap around his neck. The sensation both calms me and brings my blood to a boil. In the distance, I hear the uniform clomping of peacekeepers gathering nearer. Gale is ripped from me and I open my eyes to find them flanking him on either side and dragging him away. Absently, I touch my lips as I watch him struggling against their grip.
"Katniss" he yells "I love you". My breath catches on a lump in my throat as Gale disappears into the crowd. I turn back to the stage and take the first step up, then the next, and then another until finally, I am on the platform.
There's some confusion on the stage. Until now, there hasn't been a spectacle like this. Usually selected girls and boys are cheered and praised. Today, that has changed. The rule is that once a person has been selected they lose all romantic ties. They belong to the capitol. Gale just kissed me; told me he loved me. I wonder if this act will put him in danger, and perhaps me as well.
"Well, bravo!" gushes Effie Trinket. "That's the spirit of the Selection!" She's pleased to finally have a district with a little action going on. "I bet my buttons that was your boyfriend. Young love has such verve, doesn't it? Come on, everybody! Let's give a big round of applause for Katniss!"
To the everlasting credit of the people of District 12, not one person claps. Not even the ones holding betting slips; the ones who are usually beyond caring. Possibly because they know me from the Hob, and know that this was the last thing I wanted for myself. So instead of acknowledging applause, I stand there unmoving in silence. A shift occurs in the crowd as I stare out at them. First one, then another, then almost every member of the crowd touches the three middle fingers of their left hand to their lips and holds it out to me. It is an old and rarely used gesture of our district, occasionally seen at funerals.
"What an exciting day!" Effie begins again, she warbles as she attempts to straighten her wig, which has listed severely to the right. "But more excitement to come! It's time to
Select two more girls!" Clearly hoping to contain her tenuous hair situation, she plants one hand on her head as she goes back to the table and retrieves another scroll. Delicately she unwraps the parchment and I don't even have time to wish for Gale's safety when she's reading the name.
"Madge Undersee."
Madge Undersee! Madge is the mayor's daughter. If I could call anyone other than Gale a friend, Madge would be the first to come to mind. I haven't said more than 10 words to her in 3 years, but she was kind in school when many of the others were keener on my sister Prim.
I watch her step forward from the crowd of girls and slowly smooth the front of her green dress as she begins to make her way to the stage. Further back I see her father, Mayor Undersee, who looks like he may collapse.
There is a good chance neither of us will make it through The Selection, but Madge has a better chance than I do. Briefly, I think anyone of the girls from town would have a better chance than me. Properly raised, etiquette educated. The capitol must have picked me to make an example of, I realize. Madge is on stage in a matter of moments. A lock of golden blonde hair now hanging off her cheek is the only thing out of place. She is the picture of a dutiful representative's daughter, and I wonder again if the capitol chose her to make an example of as well.
No one is untouchable.
The district quietly sends Madge the same goodbye as we hear stirrings from the back. Mayor Undersee is now too being taken away by peacekeepers. When Madge comes to stand next to me, I take her hand.
I am pulled from my reverie when Effie calls the last of the girls to come forward. Delly Cartright.
Her name brings another one to mind. One I haven't thought about since last year's Selection when he didn't make it to the final twelve. Peeta Mellark. Delly was a sort of sweetheart of his, I'd remembered. I wonder now if any part of this was ever a lottery at all. Neither Madge nor Delly were selected because someone in the capitol thought that they'd make President Grey a good wife. No, they were picked maliciously, to keep us aware of who has control.
When Delly comes to the stage she takes Madge's other hand and we stand quietly as District 12 says goodbye to us one last time. I touch my three free fingers to my mouth and return the gesture as peacekeepers close in and usher us off the stage. I don't look back.