Hey everyone… I know many of you thought that I'd forgotten about this one, but I haven't. I needed to take a little (or not so little) hiatus from this one to get some things done and to get the creative juices flowing again. Although it has taken a different turn than what I originally intended, I think it will be a good change and I am excited to share it. And while I have you here, I'd like to announce that my first novel, Chrome Painted Heart (Book 1 of the Hopeful Hearts Series) by B.W. Hope is live on Amazon. I hope that if you've enjoyed my writing thus far, you might check out my first novel. And don't worry, I will continue to post on here at least once a month. I do have to say that the entire process of writing and publishing has been exciting and terrifying at the same time. Putting myself out there for all to see is very difficult for an extremely shy introvert, but I've done it and I hope beyond hope that you all like it. As always, thanks for reading, reviewing, and the messages of encouragement. I should also add that I have several social media accounts set up if you want to reach out to me or check out what I am working on next. You can find me at: Instagram b. , Twitter BWHope1, and facebook B.W. Hope
Hope Surrender and Certainty
Chapter 15
The feeling of Gabrielle's warm body pressing against her own roused Xena from a deep, comfortable sleep. It had been too long since the last time she woke up to the sound of her love's breathing and yes… soft snores. Gently, she maneuvered herself so she could slip her arm out from underneath the pillow Gabrielle rested her head on without waking her. It had been a long night of planning after Eve left so, she decided to let Gabrielle sleep in while she hunted down some breakfast because if she knew one thing about her lovely bard, it was that she was always hungry.
As she quietly sat up in bed, she said a small prayer of thanks that Gabrielle was such a heavy sleeper and that she wasn't a morning person. A smile creased her lips as several memories of trying to wake a slumbering Gabrielle flickered through her mind. She was glad to discover that she herself was still an early riser and because of that, it would give her some time to think… and bring Gabrielle breakfast in bed.
Even though their evening had been spent going over the ideas Gabrielle was to present to the Council, they had had enough time to cuddle in bed together and talk about the memories that continued to seep back into Xena's present. Although they were returning at a steady pace, the context and order of events were difficult to decipher. But there was one thing that continued to elude her and that was the events in Japa leading up to her death… her final death, that is. It was something Gabrielle refused to address and Xena knew she would have to wait for those memories to finally reveal themselves for the questions that plagued her to be answered. And so, she would do her best to wait even though patience was not her best quality.
A soft snort interrupted Xena's thoughts as Gabrielle stirred just enough to shift her position to her side, away from Xena's body and the reality that Gabrielle had gotten used to sleeping alone hit her hard. A sadness swept over her because the instant Gabrielle moved away, she missed the warmth and presence she had come to crave in such a short time. It was then that she realized what she had put Gabrielle through by leaving her alone, by letting her go. It was a sobering thought, one that forced her to see that what she had gone through leading up to that moment was nothing compared to what Gabrielle continued to go through as she came to terms with suddenly having Xena back in her life after being alone for so long.
The sadness was replaced by guilt because she knew she had kept so much from the young bard out of fear of hurting her and no matter how hard she tried to protect Gabrielle, she still hurt her beyond measure. It had always seemed inevitable. Even though the details of their life together were still fuzzy, the need to protect Gabrielle was instinctual and something she wasn't sure she would ever be able to give it up. She knew she would need to trust that Gabrielle could take care of herself because she had been doing it without her for the last three years. But all of that would have to change. Xena was back and she'd never willing leave Gabrielle alone again. With a renewed sense of purpose, she quietly got out of bed, a new mission on her mind. Today, she would find some breakfast and let Gabrielle catch up on some much-needed sleep.
Gabrielle stretched and yawned before reaching over to find an empty spot where Xena should have been causing her to push herself up on her elbows and look around. All she found was an empty room to greet her and her heart dropped to her stomach in fear that everything that had happened over the past twenty-four hours had been a dream. As she sat upright with a frown on her face, her hand touched a piece of parchment with something written on it. The message was from Xena and had her mark on the bottom, the mark she used only for Gabrielle. As she read the message, a small smile slid across her face because it meant she hadn't dreamt that Xena was back. Not only was Xena back, but she was also out getting breakfast for them. As if on cue, her stomach growled, and she laughed.
The realization that Xena was back for good made Gabrielle feel giddy, but something lurked in the back of her mind doing its best to tramp down that giddy feeling. There was some uncertainty that lingered from their time in Japa. If Akimi had lied about Xena needing to die, what else had she lied about?
Glancing over at the urn sitting on a shelf by the door, she contemplated all the things that had gone wrong on that last, fateful trip. It seemed to her that there had been too many players in a game they were destined to lose. The sole purpose had been to take Xena away once and for all. With a heavy sigh, she tried to keep her thoughts from turning dark, but there was still so much she didn't understand. Questions floated around in her head unanswered and it was one of the main reasons she hadn't been able to talk to Xena about the events that had taken place there. Most of those questions could only be answered by Xena herself but she still couldn't remember what had happened, giving Gabrielle little to go on as she tried to piece together those last days together. It would take patience, something she had little of as of late. But all of that would have to wait because today she would have breakfast in bed with the love of her life. Tomorrow would come soon enough and then she'd worry.
"I've missed this." Xena smiled as she watched Gabrielle eat. "Our mornings together, eating breakfast in bed, and doing… whatever comes next." She wiggled her dark eyebrows suggestively.
Gabrielle swallowed her food with an audible gulp. "Um…" she cleared her throat with a cough. "Whatever comes next?"
"Look, I know we're going to take things slow. Especially since everyone sees me as someone else, but…" Xena tilted her head thoughtfully as she tried to think of what she should say to convey her feelings. "I really miss you."
"And I've missed you every minute of every day since you left." Gabrielle said, setting down her fork to give her full attention to the conversation they were about to have. "But this is hard, Xena. Not only have I been alone for three years, unable to feel your touch or taste your lips, but I'm also being asked to suddenly accept that you're back… in someone else's body."
"But you don't see me as Leia." Xena sat back and crossed her arms in that defensive way that indicated she was ready for an argument.
"I know, my love. But it's still a lot to take in. I want to keep a clear head for the council meeting and trying to deal with all of this…" Gabrielle waved her hands between her and Xena to indicate what she was talking about. "I just can't. Not yet."
Xena bit down on her bottom lip and dropped her light blue eyes from Gabrielle's gaze as she thought about what was said. She knew she was pushing, but she felt an urgency to remind the young woman of their physical connection. For some reason, she felt that she was on borrowed time and it scared her. "I didn't realize I was a distraction." Her bottom lip quivered. She wasn't mad, just hurt. But it wasn't in her nature to show Gabrielle her pain. "Maybe I should let you finish your breakfast alone… without any distractions." She pushed herself up from the table, knocking her chair over in the process.
Gabrielle winced as the sound of the chair hitting the floor echoed around them. "That's not what I mean, and you know it. You're acting like a petulant child." She picked up her fork and continued to eat.
The accusation caused Xena to frown down at Gabrielle, her arms still crossed in defiance. But it wasn't the accusation that incensed her, it was Gabrielle's calm demeanor that had her seeing red. "I am not… you are."
Letting out a frustrated huff, Gabrielle glared up at Xena. "Really?" She said as she leaned back, set her fork down again and crossed her arms, mimicking Xena. "Is that the best you've got?"
"Yeah… maybe… I don't know." Xena stammered, running her fingers through her dark hair. "I don't know." She said again.
"Xena…" Gabrielle's voice softened, and she uncrossed her arms. "I love you, more than anything else in the world. But I was just getting used to living without you and now you're back." She closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose.
"Is that a bad thing… that I'm back?"
The uncertainty in Xena's voice brought tears to Gabrielle's eyes. "No." She struggled to get the one-word answer out. "But I can't lie to you and tell you that everything is okay because it isn't. I need time to get used to this."
"Well then, I guess I'd better leave so you can have some time to…" Xena waved her hands around in an exaggerated way. "Get used to this, whatever it is." She spun around and headed for the door.
"Xena, please…" Gabrielle let out a shaky breath.
"Please what, Gabrielle?" Xena asked without turning around. Her hand rested on the door as her shoulders dropped in defeat. The fear that perhaps Gabrielle had gotten used to being alone and that it was too late for them to reconcile weighed heavily on her heart.
"You know I love you. I just need some time…"
"Okay." It was all Xena could think to say as she pulled the door open. She wanted to say something, anything before she left but she was afraid her voice would betray her as tears rolled down her cheeks. The words 'I love you, too' stayed stuck in her throat as she disappeared out the door, leaving Gabrielle alone.
"This isn't how I wanted the day to start." Gabrielle dropped her head into her hands. Her once ravenous appetite disappeared and was replaced with nausea. She hadn't meant for things to go as far as they had, but her dark thoughts had taken ahold of her before Xena had come back with their breakfast and hadn't left. Even though she had done her best to push them aside, she just couldn't let go of all the questions she still had. And then there was the fear that this was all some ploy, that Xena would be ripped from her life again, leaving her alone like before. Perhaps it would be better if she just kept Xena at arm's length. It might hurt less when the final plot was revealed, and she didn't doubt it would be as painful as before.
Pushing her plate away in disgust, she turned her attention to the faint smell of leather that lingered in the air after Xena left and her stomach clenched. The tough exterior she had spent the last three years constructing started to crumble. She knew she would never be able to push Xena away, not now, not ever. They were too connected, their souls so intertwined that one couldn't exist without the other. Xena lost her life that day on the mountain next to the Fountain of Strength but Gabrielle lost so much more. While Xena's spirit continued to live on in the spirit world, Gabrielle's spirit had died in the real world. Her will to live had almost disappeared and even though she hadn't given up yet, she didn't have much strength left to spare. It would take a lot of healing to mend what was broken between them, but she knew she would have to try because she needed Xena as much as she needed the air to breathe. One without the other wouldn't work anymore.
"I don't know how much longer I can take this." The words echoed throughout the room as did the heavy sigh that followed. Running her fingers through her hair, Gabrielle closed her eyes when she sensed the presence of someone else. It was someone she didn't like, but someone who could offer her the patience and understanding that no one else could. "Ares?" She let out a frustrated huff.
"You're getting better. I only had to wait a minute or two for you to sense my presence. We seem to be connecting on a cosmic level now." Ares appeared across the table from Gabrielle. He noticed the chair laying on the floor and the uneaten food, then raised a questioning eyebrow her direction. "Did I miss something?"
"You needn't pretend. We both know you were here when she left." Gabrielle glared at him as he righted the chair so he could sit.
"You're better at this than I give you credit for." He smirked and shrugged his shoulders.
"I'm better at a lot of things you don't give me credit for."
"Well, there are some things I could give you credit for but…" his smirk turned into a lecherous grin. "You still refuse. But I get it… really, I do. When you have the love of your precious Warrior Princess, why would you want anyone else? Of course, you could just end all this misery and give yourself to me, but you won't, will you." It was a statement, not a question.
"I won't. It'll never happen, Ares. She is my soulmate and you were and continue to be a mere distraction." Gabrielle pushed her bangs away from her eyes.
"You really have grown bold in her absence, haven't you." Ares let out a heavy sigh. "But you made it pretty clear earlier who the distraction really is."
Rubbing her forehead, Gabrielle shook her head. "I don't appreciate you spying on us. And even though I said it, I didn't mean it."
"Oh, but the look on her face…" he frowned. "You really hurt her."
"I know what I did." She slammed her hand down on the table, rattling the half-empty plates. The move caused Ares to grin at her in a sly way making her feel worse. "I don't know what's wrong with me." She let out a long-held breath. "I don't know whether I should push her away or hold on and never let go."
"Well Blondie, I think you already know the answer to that question. All that anger you're feeling right now would be better utilized in other ways instead of harboring this morose attitude."
"You're trying my patience Ares, something I have little to spare at the moment."
"Aw, come on… don't be like that. We understand each other, don't we?" Crossing his arms, he leaned back in his chair and gave her a slow, lazy smile. "We're a lot alike."
Gabrielle was quiet as she studied him, tilting her head ever so slightly as if she might get a better understanding of what he was saying. After a moment of quiet contemplation, she nodded her head. "I suppose you're right." She gave in to his argument.
"Look, we both know she'll leave you again. It's inevitable that the greater good will always prevail over your love. It always has and always will come first to her."
"I know." Gabrielle let out a huff in frustration.
"What? No argument? You're just going to give in that quickly?" Ares seemed surprised. "I thought you'd at least give some sappy reason why I'm wrong."
"I'm tired." The statement rang true for them both. "I just don't know if I can do this anymore."
Ares stared at Gabrielle, his dark eyes flashing with sympathy. "I feel for you, my friend." He balked when she looked surprised and somewhat confused by his comment. "Is it so hard to believe I consider you a friend?"
"Yes." Gabrielle didn't hesitate. "We've been at odds since… well… forever."
"We both love the same woman and you have proved to be a great advisory when it comes fighting for her heart… I respect you."
"Perhaps calling me a friend is a little presumptuous." Gabrielle sighed.
"No, I do consider you a friend. That's why I want to help you." He uncrossed his arms and placed his hands on the table, leaning forward so he could look Gabrielle in the eyes. "You know what I want and if you accept… well…" he coughed nervously. "I can promise nothing will hurt you again."
"The pain is the only thing that reminds me I'm still alive."
A sly smile slid across his face as he nodded his understanding. "You hold onto it like a lifeline. It's what gives you strength. And let me tell you, Gabrielle… I can feel it growing stronger every day. Pain and anger are your soulmates now, not Xena. You and I could do so much together… if you just give yourself over to the power I'm offering. All you have to do is take it." He made a fist with his hand to emphasize what he wanted her to do.
"I don't know." Gabrielle could feel tears pricking at the backs of her eyes and the bloom of a headache roll across her forehead as she tried to stop herself from crying. The tears were mostly from the exhaustion she was feeling. Being pulled in different directions was enough to cause her to give up, but the prospect of losing Xena again was unbearable. "I can't lose her again, I won't survive it."
"Then don't let it happen. Follow me and I will leave your precious Amazon's to live in peace… I… promise." Ares stammered on the last few words, coughing again to clear his throat of the unspoken truths he was attempting to hide.
"I don't trust you." Gabrielle glared at him. "But…" she hesitated. Ares held up a hand to stop her from talking. Glancing at the door, he paused then that lecherous grin Gabrielle hated so much returned.
"I was waiting to tell you this, but I guess there's no time like the present." He clasped his hands together and steepled his index fingers. "There is one stipulation to Xena staying for good."
"I knew it was too good to be true." Gabrielle dropped her head into her hands and struggled to hold back the tears that continued to threaten. There was no way she would cry in front of Ares. "What is this stipulation you all failed to tell me."
"Well…" he drew the word out on a long heavy exhale. "You must return Xena's ashes to the Fountain of Strength before the fortnight is over. And, well… if my calculations are correct, your time started last night, so…" he leaned back in his chair again and waited.
Gabrielle's eye grew wide in surprise. "What? Why?"
"It's just the way it is." He shrugged his shoulders in apology.
"I don't believe you."
"Perhaps I'm lying, or better yet… perhaps I'm not." His sly grin returned. "But can you afford not to believe me?"
"What happens if we don't return the ashes?"
"You already know." He reached out to touch her hand and was surprised when she didn't pull away. His eyes moved from her to the door again before he took a deep breath, letting it out slowly as he squeezed her hand. "Believe me or don't. I'll give you a few days to decide on my offer. But remember this, if I'm wrong… you'll have lost nothing, the alternative, however… Are you willing to risk it?"
With all his cards on the table, Ares offered a sad smile as he pushed himself up from his chair. He was playing with fire and he knew it. His sisters would surely have his head for this, but he was desperate. Ever since Xena's return, Gabrielle had been waning and he was losing ground with her. If he could just get her to agree to join him before Xena had a chance to cement her existence in the living world, he would surely have the power to conquer her idea of the greater good and if all went to plan… the world. But instead of having Xena rule by his side, he would have Gabrielle. He might not ever hold her heart, but he would have her soul thereby breaking the forever bond she and Xena had as soulmates. If he couldn't have Xena… no one would. And with a quick bow and flick of the wrist, he disappeared in a cloud of smoke leaving Gabrielle alone to be tortured by what he had offered her and what he threatened to take away if she made the wrong choice.
"Smoke? Isn't that a little dramatic, even for you?" Gabrielle coughed as the smoke moved towards her before disappearing.
A laugh echoed around the room, giving Gabrielle chills. There was something more sinister to this last meeting with Ares that she couldn't quite place her finger on. It was as if he was desperate, grasping at half-truths as he tried to convince her to give herself over to him and the power he offered. That feeling of comradery she had felt before was replaced with a desperation she didn't recognize. She wasn't sure she believed him about the Fountain of Strength but something in the back of her mind reminded her that Akimi had lied about everything, perhaps she had lied about that as well. Why were they only given until sunset on the day Xena conquered Yodoshi to bring her back? It had never added up and now Gabrielle knew why. Ares had just made things worse by instilling doubt in her mind. Glancing at Xena's ashes, she realized that maybe there was a reason she hadn't entombed then with her family. Maybe she was meant to return them to the spot Xena had said goodbye, thereby returning her to her body and bringing her back for good.
"I know who I need to talk to, but it'll have to wait." She said as she pushed herself up from the table. There were too many things she needed to deal with at the moment, things she had to take care of before the council meeting. Aphrodite would have to wait and so would the conversation she hoped would reveal some answers to the many questions that continued to plague her. With one final huff of frustration, she moved across the room to get dressed and start her day with one foot in front of the other, but if the morning's events were any indication of how it was going to go, it wouldn't be easy.
Xena stood outside the door to Gabrielle's quarters and listened intently to her conversation with Ares. Even though she strained to hear what was being said, she heard enough to rile her up. Holding her breath, she leaned closer to the door, placing an ear to the hollow wood to magnify the words being said. What she had heard up until that point was nothing good but when Ares offered Gabrielle a place at his side in exchange for the Amazon's, she almost burst through the door but before she could, Ares had laid his last card on the table and it was huge. That last card held Xena's life in the balance and that was something she couldn't accept. There had been too much interference in their lives, something she wasn't going to allow any more. She knew what she needed to do. She would take her ashes to the Fountain of Strength, restore her life back to this world, and then take her place next to Gabrielle. Nothing would come between her and her soulmate, especially not Ares.
As she continued to listen, she could hear the fatigue in Gabrielle's voice but there was also resolve. It was something she recognized, and it gave her a glimmer of hope that Gabrielle hadn't given up yet. But there was someone she needed to talk to before she talked to Gabrielle and that was Aphrodite. Her need to stay and listen almost overrode her need to talk to the Goddess of Love but she knew what she needed to do if she was to get any answers, unbiased ones at that. With some hesitation in her heart, she turned to leave to seek out a quiet, private place where she could finally get some answers to the questions that burned inside of her. There was too much at stake to wait so she made her way towards the lake and the quiet, solitude she knew would be waiting for her.
As she approached the edge of the water, she stopped and picked up a stone. It felt smooth in the palm of her hand and the weight of it proved to be a comfort. She tossed it up in the air a few times, catching it again and again before something urged her to throw it as far as she could into the lake. Watching as the stone hit the glass-like surface of the water, she couldn't help but marvel at the ripples that followed the 'plop' before it disappeared. And as she watched the ripples growing larger and larger, a memory came to her in a flash.
Together, she and Gabrielle sat along the banks of a lake looking out at the calm, smooth surface of the water. She could feel the weight of a stone in her palm as she held it tightly in her hand, waiting for the right moment to throw it. This was a teaching moment, a chance to get Gabrielle to understand who she was… who she had become. She waited quietly until she knew Gabrielle was paying full attention to her, then she turned to find herself captured by the penetrating gaze of green eyes watching her with curiosity and a little uncertainty.
"See how calm the surface of the water is?" Xena turned her attention back to the water, prying herself from the intensity of Gabrielle's stare. "That was me once. But then…" she threw the stone and waited for it to disappear with a plop. "The water ripples and churns. That's what I became."
Xena watched as Gabrielle tilted her head to regard the rippling water, concentrating on what she had said, trying to understand the meaning behind the action. "But if we sit here long enough, the water will go back to being calm again." Reaching over, she placed a hand on Xena's knee and gave it a gentle squeeze. "You'll go back to being calm."
Letting out a heavy sigh, Xena's shoulders dropped under the weight of the innocent statement that held so much hope for her redemption. "But the stone is still under there. It's part of the lake now. It might look as it did before, but it's forever changed."
Just a quickly as it came, the memory flickered and then disappeared, leaving Xena as sad as she had felt that day long ago. But the sadness she was feeling wasn't for herself, this time it was for Gabrielle because she realized that her analogy no longer pertained to her but to her golden-haired bard. And she couldn't help but worry that the ripples and the churning brought on by her death would never calm for Gabrielle as she struggled each day without Xena. Her death had become the stone, disrupting the once calm waters of Gabrielle's life and because of that, Gabrielle was forever changed. But before panic could set in, she did the only thing she could think of at that moment… she called out to Aphrodite, hoping she could help them find the calm they both craved so much.
"Aphrodite…" Xena's voice was shaky as she tried to hold back the tears that threatened to fall. "I need to talk to you, now!" Her voice held a firm edge this time. Dropping down on to the ground, she sat facing the lake and the mirror image of a cloudless sky above. "Come on, I know you're near… I can smell your perfume."
"Hey Warrior Babe, what's up?" Aphrodite appeared before Xena in a glittery flash. She had expected some banter back as was usual when she and Xena faced each other but the dejected look she got instead had her dropping to a knee, so they were eye level. "Hey, is something wrong? Is Gabrielle alright?"
Wiping her eyes with the back of her hand, Xena shook her head. "No, everything is all wrong." She let out a heavy breath as she struggled to breathe in again.
"Tell me what's wrong…" Aphrodite took one of Xena's hands to get her to focus.
"Is it true… about the Fountain of Strength?"
"Damn Ares…" Aphrodite hissed under her breath before turning her attention to Xena's question. She nodded her head, a sad look on her face. "Yes, and no…"
"What does that even mean?" Xena's temper threatened to boil over. She knew she needed to remain calm, especially when dealing with Aphrodite. "Am I meant to be sent back to the spirit world and leave Gabrielle alone again?"
"Not exactly." Sitting back on her heels, Aphrodite pushed some platinum locks over her shoulder.
"Explain." Xena cleared her throat, sounding more like the Xena of old.
"Yes, it's true that taking your ashes to the Fountain of Strength will give you your body back but if that doesn't happen it doesn't mean you are lost to the afterlife either. Tell me what's happened, how did you find out about this."
"You already know how I found out. It was Ares…" Xena clenched her jaw at the thought of the God of War being along with Gabrielle. "I came back from a walk and heard him telling Gabrielle that I was meant to be sent back if she didn't get my ashes to the Fountain of Strength within the fortnight."
"Okay, let me explain." Aphrodite held up her hands in a defensive way as if to say she wasn't responsible for what was happening. "If you don't take your ashes back, you will continue to live in Leia's body… but…" she hesitated briefly. "There is still the possibility of getting your body back."
"Then why didn't you just tell Gabrielle this instead of bringing her here with some story about the Amazon's being in danger. She could have just taken me back."
"Because the threat to the Amazon's is very real, Xena. Artemis thought that Gabrielle would desert her sisters in favor of bringing you back."
"She would never do that. You know her, Dite… she'd never put me ahead of the greater good." Xena huffed out impatiently.
"You've been gone a long time. She's changed…" Aphrodite looked away from Xena's penetrating ice-blue eyes. "There were times I thought we might lose her to her anger or sorrow."
"She would never hurt herself…" Xena dropped her head into her hands and sighed before looking up at Aphrodite. "Would she?" When Aphrodite didn't respond, she had her answer. "I had no idea. Is that why you brought me back like this?"
"Yes, I was afraid she wouldn't have the will to fight for the Amazons, much less for herself so I convinced Artemis we needed you here. It took a lot of convincing, but… well… you know the rest."
Xena was quiet for a moment as she tried to recall what else Ares had said. "Why do we have until the end of the fortnight? Did Ares request that?"
Aphrodite nodded and gave a sad smile. "He is determined to keep you from her."
"But why? We've had our grievances before, but we moved past them before I died, or at least I thought we did."
"He was devastated by your death, Xena… as much as Gabrielle was. They bonded over their love for you and the loss they both felt in your absence. He wants you to suffer as much as he did and what better way than to take your soulmate away. And mark my words, if that happens… if Gabrielle chooses him and what he has offered her… you will never find your ways back to each other."
"Then I need to take my ashes to the Fountain of Strength before the fortnight is over. I need to come back as me, so everyone can see. Gabrielle needs me to be here with her, but… not like this." She waved her hands over the body she now occupied.
"What are you saying?" Aphrodite asked even though she had a feeling she already knew the answer, and it wasn't something she wanted to hear.
"You know what I'm saying. I'm going to do it myself. If Gabrielle is needed here, then I'll go and come back to help her as… well… as me." Xena said in a tone that brokered no argument. "You know it has to be done, Dite. No one will believe her if she tries to say I'm back…"
"Varia believed her." Aphrodite tried to reason.
"Varia is different. She has a history with Ares and knows what he is capable of, especially when it comes to us. She's seen the damage he can do."
"Okay, so let's say you do this… crazy thing all alone… what next Warrior Princess? She won't forgive you for leaving her again. It might push her right into his hands and then we've all lost." Aphrodite let out a shaky breath. She couldn't hide the fear that Gabrielle could be lost to them all, her heart broke for herself as well. Losing Gabrielle wasn't an option she was willing to risk.
"I'll come back. Everyone will see she's not losing her mind to grief. We both know there are already whispers about her and Leia, even though it's me here. Some are losing respect for her…" Xena shook her head sadly.
"The only thing that matters now is the Council's decision, not whispers from the rumor mill. If she finds herself alone again… I don't know Xena…" Rubbing her forehead, Aphrodite tried to come up with an alternative, but she knew there was none.
"We both know this is how it has to be. If everyone could just see us… together again… maybe it would help." Xena crossed her arms and glared at the Goddess of Love and dared her to argue. "I won't let him have her, not now… not ever. I will always find my way back to her. I must show her that no matter what happens… I won't stop fighting for her. Nothing will get in the way of that… not even the greater good. I won't let her go again."
Aphrodite let out a heavy sigh. "I suppose you'll be doing this alone, then?"
"I have to." Xena shrugged her shoulders. It was a fact, there was no one they could turn to at this point. There was too much at stake. Gabrielle had to stay and needed everyone to rally around her if the Amazons were to be saved. But then a thought tugged at the back of her mind, causing her to frown. "Who will watch over her while I'm gone? Ares won't relent just because I've left, in fact, he will probably take it as permission to continue pushing."
Silence fell over them as they both got lost in their own thoughts. "Okay, look… I've got an idea." Aphrodite gave Xena a reassuring smile. "I'll make sure Eve knows enough to protect Gabrielle. I know she follows the God of Eli but I can still sneak into her dreams. I'll have a little convo with her about what's happening and what to look for. I think it'll work."
"Okay…" Xena sounded relieved.
"But that's not all…" Aphrodite said, a hint of pride in her voice. "I'm coming with you. And if you think I'll be sleeping on the hard ground on a lumpy bedroll, you've got another thing coming."
"I can't ask you to do that, Dite."
"You're not asking. I'm offering. I can pop us to the outskirts of Japa, but my powers won't work once we get there, so… it'll be all on you Warrior Babe." Aphrodite gave a flick of her wrist and a shrug. "I'll talk to Artemis about the plan. She can watch over Gabrielle, too while we're gone. It shouldn't take too long though, maybe a couple of days. We need to get back here as soon as possible."
Biting her lower lip in thought, Xena furrowed her brow. She knew it would take her way too long without Aphrodite's help. "Yeah, I suppose that'll work." She relented without a fight.
"Of course, it'll work. It has to…" Aphrodite said with a worried look on her face. They had come to the end of the road with their ideas because Ares kept changing the rules or disregarding them altogether.
"Now, I just have to sneak the urn out without Gabrielle finding out."
"I'll meet you back here at midnight." Aphrodite pushed herself up from the ground where she was kneeling. "And Xena, we can't fail. If we do, I'm afraid we'll lose Gabrielle forever."
Looking up at Aphrodite, Xena nodded solemnly. "We won't fail, Dite." She said, standing as well so they were eye level again. "Look, I know you and Gabrielle have a special relationship…" hesitating, she swallowed the lump that had suddenly formed in her throat.
"She's my Sweet Pea…" Aphrodite had a sad smile on her face. "I will always love her even though I know her heart belongs to you. I only want her to be happy and if that means I have to help you find your back to her… then… what am I gonna do?" She shrugged her shoulders again and tilted her head to regard Xena with a firm resolve.
"Thanks, Dite… I guess it's a soulmate thing. But I know she loves you too." It was an offer of conciliation, but it was also the truth.
"Oh, I know and if thought I had any chance in Hades of getting her to forget you… I do it in a heartbeat but then again… like you said… there's that whole soulmate thing standing in the way." Aphrodite laughed, causing her platinum blonde curls to bounce around her shoulders. "I mean, really… who in their right mind would turn down all of this…" she waved her hands over herself in a flourish. Raising a dark eyebrow, Xena smirked and crossed her arms, flexing her biceps in the process. "Oh, who and I kidding? I don't stand a chance against all of that." Reaching out, she gave Xena's arm a gentle pinch to emphasize what she was talking about.
Running her fingers through her long dark hair, Xena laughed as well. "I'll see you at midnight."
"Toodles…" And with that, Aphrodite disappeared in a shower of glitter and light.
Xena watched with wide eyes as the glitter and flash of light disappeared around her. Even during somber occasions, Aphrodite couldn't help herself. She was all pomp and circumstance even still, after all these years. It made Xena laugh and shake her head as she marveled at the extent their friends were willing to go to help. Aphrodite may be the Goddess of Love, but she was also a friend, one that had been there from the beginning. She had seen the bond between the two women grow into something beyond a friendship before anyone else and she had always been there to support them. Even now, she was willing to risk it all for love and for that, Xena was grateful. Now, all she had to do was figure out a way to sneak away in the dead of the night to ensure their love would survive an eternity.