I don't own Star Wars. Just the idea that Qui-Gon eats popcorn because of Skywalker shenanigans.
4 AD
The Empire is in shambles and the Emperor is at the end of three lightsabers with his arms and legs out of commission. How did it reach this point, you ask? Well, as I have told you most of the story, I guess I should tell you the end. It is a quite satisfactory ending for all, except the demon Emperor, who is now legless and armless. It goes a bit like this.
After the twins reveal themselves to Vader, and they becomes a family again, the universe sees some strange things as the Skywalkers unleash their pranking power on the Galaxy. It began with minor pranks that drove Piett mad and gave the twins more opportunity to build lightsabers and practice with them. The major pranks truly take the galaxy by a storm, and I have recorded them for you as faithfully as I could with the information given to me.
First was the rubber ducks. Or, more precisely, the Star Destroyers that had been turned into Giant Hot Pink Rubber Ducks for 2 hours. How the Skywalkers pulled this off, I am uncertain, and Qui-Gon will tell me nothing (He is definitely having his fill of popcorn). This was the main turning point of the war, at least to the rest of the galaxy. The reason for this is because of the Emperor's response, which was abysmal, because he did nothing to try and solve the problem. The time that was lost allowed the Rebels to take over some key areas and take captive some very important people in the form of rubber ducks, and the Emperor did not care. (He was too busy brooding over the state of the Force, stupid demon that he was.) Nobody really liked him after that. Not even the media.
Second was the fake blasters that, instead of blasts, shot out a flag that read 'pew'. No one died in those battles, as the Rebellion was in hysterics and the storm troopers couldn't kill anyone (the Rebellion also decided against killing them, as they had obviously been sabotaged by the galactical tricksters that had hit them a time or two). The Emperor did nothing in this situation either, expecting that Vader would take care of it all. Old demon should have known better. Vader was a Skywalker at heart and always appreciates a good prank, especially it if was his idea and a prank that he carried out.
Third, the twins started wearing matching capes (subtly in the style of Vader, and Mothma knew better than to ask where they got them). In battles they fought in, they would wear hot pink, because only real men wear hot pink; at other times, they would wear different colors, but always the same. Their response to questions was that they were twining. (How no one found out about their siblinghood until they revealed it is beyond me. They weren't exactly hiding it.) The Empire was confused by the hot pink capes, and several reporters noticed the fact that, not only did Luke or Vader not try to confront each other publicly, the capes the two Rebels wore were similar to the capes Vader wore. These ideas were quickly dropped, simply because no one knew of a reason for the two to be connected, except by one reporter, who insisted that Vader was their father and that they were twins. No one listened to him. (Qui-Gon was laughing his head off though.)(Vader got the twins the cloaks while trying to make up for missing so many of their birthdays. So he got them 21 cloaks, all of them different colors. Because why not?)
Fourth. Vader started wearing hot pink armor. This… causes chaos everywhere. (Luke would say that he looked rather dashing. Leia hits him when he says this. Vader laughs.)(Qui-Gon has nearly depleted the afterlife's capacity to produce popcorn, which is a real sorrow.)(Although, to be fair, Obi-Wan also started eating popcorn, so it wasn't just Qui-Gon's fault).
Fifth was the droid revolution that destroys the upper crust of the Empire's society. Dignitaries, Generals, rulers, and more were found dead and the culpable were on their way to the Rebellion. Droids had become free-thinking and liberated from their masters overnight. This leads, in natural progression, to a slave rebellion that leaves more Imperials dead, others scared, a few leaving with them to get the heck away from the Empire. This is truly the beginning of the end and lasts for 5 months if all the information is correct.
Sixth, and finally, was the march on Coruscant happened, with Vader marching with Luke and Leia, stormtrooprs marching with rebels, and Mon Mothma drinking with Piett. Others of the Empire fought back, and across the galaxy there were skirmishes between the two sides. Vader had taught the twins how to use lightsabers well, so he had to let them come with him to destroy the Emperor. I won't go into that battle, if only because none of them will tell me what happened. But it ended with the Emperor on the ground, his limbs strewn about, the twins bearing scars from his lightning, and Vader needing a new suit (he'd worn his hot pink one into battle, so he was in plain black after they got him situated). Red, green, and purple lightsabers have done the job, and the Emperor (may his evilness never haunt the galaxy again) soon dies because that is what one does when not given medical attention after getting all the limbs cut off via a lightsaber.
The Skywalkers finally got to be a family after all of this was over. They recovered together and left the politics of the galaxy in the hands of Mon Mothma and Firmus Piett, two very strong individuals who had to put with so much at the end (especially Piett, as he would sometimes see the twins wandering around with Vader and no one else could see them. It was very disconcerting). The Skywalkers also got them some of the finest alcohol in the galaxy. They needed it.
What they did after all of this remains a mystery that they will not tell me. I wish I could inform you, dear reader who has come so far with me, just what pranks they pulled, what they taught about the Force, how many naps Yoda had to avoid the Skywalkers (I am told it was a large number before he finally joined the Force), and how much alcohol Piett and Mothma actually consumed while in each other's company, but I am not privy to that information. Imagine what you will, and it probably won't be far from the truth. Sadly, I must bring this exciting tale to a close. I have other stories to write and other subjects to study and relentlessly hunt down for questioning.
Sorry this took so long to finish. I am in college now, and am super busy, which is why I decided to end it now instead of dragging it out. It is less painful for all of us. Thank you for sticking with me all this time, and thank you for the prank ideas. This story wouldn't have been the same otherwise. Please excuse any mistakes and the big mess of popcorn. Qui-Gon can get a little out of hand. I do wish I hadn't introduced him to the stuff. Anyways, that's all for now, folks! Stay safe out there.