Kevin's breath hitched as Dean slid in closer, hovering over Sam. He tilted his brother's chin up, wiping some of the bloody spit off his face, and put a hand on Sam's chest.
"Dean?" Kevin asked, his voice small and tinny.
"He's breathing," Dean whispered dully. With all the care in the world, Dean leaned back and shaped Sam's closest arm into a right angle on the floor. He moved to the other one, lifting it and bending it up and across Sam's neck so the back of his hand was along his cheek. Dean shifted down to Sam's lower body then. He pulled Sam's farthest knee up and over and started to turn him. With gentle grips along Sam's hips and shoulders, Dean rolled him into the recovery position.
"Kev get a blanket," Dean ordered quietly. He still had the wash cloth he'd pulled from the oven handle and used it, ducking low to wipe blood away from his brother's mouth. After a few moments, he glanced up. "Kevin," Dean prompted softly and Kevin broke his trance.
"He's okay?"
"Yeah, just get a blanket," Dean murmured. Kevin couldn't believe his eyes as he watched Dean use his fingers to open Sam's mouth wide so he could dab the cloth along his lips. Sam was totally unconscious through it, face pale in grotesque contrast with some specks of bright red bloody spit Dean had missed. His dark long hair was tangled and messy again, damp with sweat along the hairline.
Kevin swallowed nervously as he watched Dean examine Sam's mouth. "Get a small flashlight too, will you? It's in the duffel on the table in the library," Dean said, his voice quiet and serious as he craned to see Sam's tongue.
"Okay," Kevin breathed and finally ripped himself away from the scene.
He found the flashlight after rustling through the bag, gave a brief glance around to check if there were any blankets left in clear view and came up empty. He went to try a bedroom.
Kevin paused at the sight of Dean's room. With an oxygen tank, an old defibrillator, a rickety wheelchair and a small plastic bucket along the sides of the bed and so many blankets strewn around the floor and bed, Kevin realized this was where Sam must be sleeping too. He didn't even have time to question where Dean slept as he grabbed the closest blanket, a heavy but soft cotton, and booked it back to the kitchen.
He arrived to find Dean sitting properly on the floor but hunched over Sam, rubbing Sam's back and carding his fingers through his hair. Dean's focus remained undivided, unaware of Kevin's approach so he made an effort to be slow when he came to sit next to him. Dean flinched anyway.
"Got the flashlight?"
"Yeah here." Kevin handed it over. Dean got on his stomach and opened Sam's mouth. Kevin was both revolted and fascinated that Dean was gently using his fingers to sweep the red drool out of his brother's mouth for a better view.
"S'not bad," Dean finally said, lifting Sam's tongue and angling the flashlight along its side. Kevin could see it now, a dark red gash along the muscle's normally pink flesh.
"Really?"
"Really," Dean reassured, flicking the flashlight off and pulling away from his brother. He wiped his hands on the washcloth which was getting sickeningly splotchy with all hues of red. Kevin bottled his feelings and flipped open the blanket to drape over Sam. Dean helped.
"Get his legs and feet," Dean muttered as he worked to tuck the blanket all along Sam's upper body. Kevin nodded and crawled down to make sure the blanket wrapped around Sam's bare legs and feet.
"You don't wanna move him?" Kevin whispered, sensing the quiet was a form of respect due Sam. Dean shook his head and sighed. He touched Sam's head and as he replied, began to unconsciously stroke Sam's hair again.
"No, we should wait until he wakes up. We'll move him then."
Kevin watched Dean and just nodded. He wasn't going to argue, not with Dean like this.
Dean sighed and used the wash cloth again to wipe Sam's face free of the smaller specks of blood he'd gotten all over. He kept going back to Sam's lips too for some reason until Kevin realized Sam was drooling and Dean was catching it.
By the time Sam's face seemed fresher and cleaner, Kevin had gathered the courage to ask a question.
"Dean, what just happened?"
Dean didn't look at Kevin. He pinched the bridge of his nose and grimaced.
"Partial seizures start most commonly in the hand or foot. They can spread. This one did," Dean said simply, sadly. He leaned forward and cleared Sam's lips again.
"So Sam's going to be okay, right?"
"Might take him a couple days to unscramble," Dean supplied evenly.
Kevin bit his lip. That wasn't exactly what he wanted to hear. Still, it was noticeably calm and clinical, the confidence in Dean's voice as he shared very precise knowledge about his brother, about what just happened.
"How do you know?"
Dean pressed his lips together. Kevin could see the moment Dean figured the truth wouldn't hurt.
"Sam used to get these when he was a kid."
"Seizures?"
"Mm hm." He stared at Sam with so much compassion it was even making Kevin emotional. Kevin cleared his throat.
"Should we... are you gonna try to wake him up?"
Dean shook his head. "No, he'll come around in his own time. He's unconscious right now, not sleeping. We gotta let his mind and his body do its thing," he explained quietly.
"Is he gonna be okay when he wakes up?" Kevin asked, "like... normal?"
"Not right after he comes to, no," Dean explained. "But after he sleeps for awhile, yeah he'll be fine," Dean sighed and stroked Sam's hair. "Get me a bottle of water from the fridge, will you?" Kevin nodded and got up. "Pour the water out and use the tap for room temperature," Dean added. Kevin did as he was told. As he tested the water temperature with his finger he couldn't help but notice the stir fry and bacon cooling on the counter.
He'd only just arrived that day. While Dean had told him that Sam was dealing with the trials, Kevin definitely hadn't grasped the full extent of it. Sam had been up and studying. He'd taken a nap. He'd been perfectly coherent and even upbeat with him as they'd been preparing food. Just ten minutes ago they'd been enjoying comfortable silence. Things had gone to hell so fast.
Kevin turned to glance at the brothers on the floor just a few feet away from him. It was unreal, how they were these larger-than-life heroes and he was a prophet of the Lord, yet right now at this very moment they were all reduced to something so basic, so mundane.
Whatever their roles in the battle between good and evil or heaven and hell, one thing Kevin had never really stopped to consider was how much they were all still at the mercy of the human condition.
The bottle Kevin had been running under the faucet overflowed, startling him out of his thoughts. He capped it and knelt down next to Dean, setting it down between them.
Dean murmured a thanks. He was rubbing Sam's back again now, still cleaning up Sam's mouth and keeping a watchful eye out for any sign Sam might be regaining consciousness. Sam was still on his side in the recovery position, covered and hopefully warm with the blanket.
"Is there anything else I can do?" Kevin asked, his voice still hushed to match Dean's tone. Dean blinked, thinking, then finally shook his head.
"I don't think so," he whispered.
"I could get the food-"
"No. Just be quiet when he wakes up. We'll get the food later."
"Okay." He could do that. He was reassured Dean was so confident Sam would wake up soon. Dean kept his fingers on Sam's pulse along his neck, swiped some pink saliva off his lips.
The time dragged. Kevin pulled the sleeves of his shirt down to cover his hands, cold with anxiety and fear. He looked at the clock in the kitchen for what felt like the hundredth time. It'd been a little over seven minutes since Sam had finished seizing.
Kevin let out a quiet sigh and changed how he sat on the floor to get more comfortable. Without a word, Dean got up to grab a bucket from under the sink. He set it down next to the water bottle and resumed his position.
This was feeling like forever and Kevin was starting to understand what Sam had been saying about Dean's false fronts getting torn down under the weight of these experiences. Kevin felt it too. The gnawing and pure dread and fear in knowing Sam was suffering and could even die right here on the kitchen floor if they weren't careful and they'd be powerless to stop it.
Kevin wasn't even Sam's brother and he felt that horror over how dire the circumstances were. And it was painfully obvious to Kevin now that if Sam did die, it would devastate Dean. Maybe to a point of no return. He'd lose himself.
A sharp spike of adrenaline hit Kevin at the very real prospect of abandonment. Kevin would lose Dean if Sam died.
Kevin thought of himself as unselfish but when he looked at Dean and realized the man before him would lose all conceivable hope if Sam died, another layer of fear colored their situation. Kevin would be robbed of Dean as a support: Sam was everything to him but to Kevin, Sam and Dean were the only people left in his entire world that cared anything about him. Even if it was just a little bit, it was all Kevin had left. Maybe he was clinging to wispy threads of connection but no matter what if Dean lost Sam then yes, Kevin would definitely lose Dean.
"Dean... he's gonna be okay, right?" Kevin asked, eyes brimming and voice shaking as he imagined what would happen if he were to be deserted again.
Please God, not again. That six months on the run when Sam hadn't been answering his phone had been six months of blind paranoia and terror. He couldn't go through that again. He couldn't.
"Dean?" Kevin pitched. Dean ignored him and sat up straighter, leaning closer to his brother like he'd just noticed something important.
"Dean?" Kevin repeated.
Dean hushed him and got up to kneel over Sam.
Kevin swallowed and nodded, pulling himself out of his own tragedy. "Is he waking up?" Kevin murmured. Dean put a finger to his lips and gave Kevin a meaningful look. Kevin nodded and zipped his lips with his hand. Dean turned back to his brother.
"Sammy?" Dean whispered, passing his hand over Sam's hair delicately. "Sam?"
A/N: Thank you so much for reading - please comment/review on this chapter if you can spare the time! ~ Alex