Sam's eyes snapped open. He was on his side, completely unable to move with Dean practically on top of him, his lead-heavy arm across his chest, elbow digging into his stomach. If that wasn't enough, Kevin's nervous whispers, the kind he used when he was trying to sound delicate, was coming from behind them like he thought it'd be more appropriate to speak to the backs of their heads instead of being a normal person and facing them.

Passive-aggressive coward, Sam thought irritably just before gasping with pain as Dean jerked awake with an accidental jab straight into Sam's stomach with his elbow.

"What?" Dean murmured sharply.

"Gah-"

"Guys!"

"What's happening?"

"Damn it, Dean!"

"Sorry," Dean murmured, pulling off Sam to twist around and look dazedly at Kevin. Sam winced and rolled forward onto his stomach, willfully ignoring the conversation between Dean and Kevin for a second to get over the gut punch his dear brother had just delivered.

"-ready to go in like... ten, fifteen minutes," Kevin whispered.

There was a pause, Sam writhing around to get comfortable and Dean still staring up at Kevin blankly.

"What?"

"We're ready to go."

"What time is it?" Dean perked up, making the bed shake, causing Sam to groan weakly into the pillow. Dean put a comforting hand on his back. Sam slapped it away.

"Whoa," Dean said, ignoring Sam's temper, as he looked at the time.

"Can you be ready soon?" Kevin asked. "Cas and Metatron-"

"Yeah yeah we're up. We're good, Kev. Jus' give us a few," Dean drawled, rubbing his eyes.

"Okay," Kevin replied, slowly back away, "s-sorry," he added.

"Shut up," Dean said kindly, waving him off.

Kevin left the room and again there was blessed silence. Sam heard Dean sigh, could tell Dean was wiping his face clear of sleep. Sam burrowed into the pillow, his stomach roiling now not just from Dean's elbow but the anxiety of leaving too. They had to be ready in fifteen minutes? No way. He couldn't do this right now. He felt nauseous.

"Dean," Sam murmured heavily into the pillow.

"Yeah," Dean replied groggily, still bleary.

"We're not really going in fifteen minutes, right?" Sam said with a weird mix of anger and fear. He'd also accidentally made the statement a question. He wanted Dean's assurance he wouldn't have to do this so soon. He definitely needed more time before getting ripped out of their home here in the bunker, headed for his nearly inevitable death. He needed his brother to tell him, agree with him. It was asking too much. The time frame was unreasonable. He'd just woken up for god's sakes.

"Yeah Sammy," Dean replied softly, still not moving from his spot in bed next to him. Sam's chest was constricting, the dread starting to get to him. Dean wasn't on his side for this?

"Dean, no. I can't. We'll go tomorrow morning or something."

Dean angled down to look at Sam, an eyebrow raised. "We gotta go, dude," Dean said in a way that indicated he thought he was stating the obvious. He quirked a small smile. "You can handle it, tiger," he added, knocking his fist against Sam's shoulder.

With that one simple gesture, Sam's fear twisted into anger and he hit Dean's hand off him. "No. We're not going yet. I don't want to," Sam said, steadfast.

Dean's expression shifted to annoyed confusion. "You said we should go. So now we're going, Sam."

"We will. Just not now." Sam turned his head on the pillow so he wasn't facing Dean.

The bed was still for a second, Dean obviously thinking about Sam's behavior. "Any new symptoms?"

"No. I'm just not ready."

Dean let out an impatient sigh and got out of bed. Sam closed his eyes as Dean made his way around to Sam's side. He heard the sounds of Dean getting dressed, inwardly building his anger. If Dean thought he'd be getting Sam out of bed and thrusting him into this death trap of a journey before he was ready, he had another thing coming.

Sam waited for Dean to talk to him before opening his eyes again. Instead he heard the sounds of a wheelchair unfolding and angry curiosity got the better of him.

"What do you think you're doing?" Sam practically growled as Dean finished with the wheelchair and started rolling it to the side of Sam's bed.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" Dean snapped back, leaving the chair next to Sam. "I'm gonna go grab our things. Your ass better be in that chair before I get back, you understand me?"

Sam clenched his jaw and stared daggers at his brother, determinedly still lying down in bed. "No."

Dean shrugged and turned around to leave the room. "Suit yourself," he said as he was about to walk out.

Sam whipped up in bed. "If you think you're going into my room to pack my stuff-"

"What? What'll you do, Sam?" Dean shot back, gesturing to his brother in bed.

"I swear to God," Sam said through gritted teeth.

Dean rolled his eyes and left the room.

"Dean!" Sam shouted, furious.

"Get in that chair, Sam," Dean warned from the hallway, "or I'll put you in it myself."

In the hallway Dean could hear his brother's response echo from their bedroom.

"Fuck you!"

Dean rolled his eyes and shook his head, annoyed by his brother's attitude. He was just about to go into Sam's room when Kevin appeared. He nodded as the kid approached.
"What's up?"

"I wanted to grab a few of the med supplies you have in your room. We were holding off until you guys woke up."

"I wouldn't go in there if I were you," Dean chuckled. "All of it's outdated anyway. We'll hit up a hospital or clinic or something on our way."

Kevin whispered a breathy "okay" as he started to move towards their room again. Dean stopped him with a hand on his shoulder.

"What?" Kevin asked.

"What else?"

Kevin looked slightly uncomfortable and shrugged under Dean's hand.

"Just... wanted to see Sam."

Dean gave Kevin a small amused smile before shaking his head.

"Wait outside - you'll see him in fifteen minutes, all right?"

Kevin looked surprised but nodded his acceptance. "Okay," he said openly as he turned back around to head back outside.

...

"They'll be out in like fifteen, twenty minutes," Kevin said as he walked up the steps to the road outside the bunker. Metatron stopped pacing to look at him, gauging the veracity of the statement.

"Good," Castiel responded evenly.

"More like about fucking time," Metatron sniped. "What the hell have they been doing in there anyway?!"

"Sleeping. Sam needs his rest," Cas replied.

"And what's stopping him from getting some in a car?" Metatron countered. "We gotta get this show on the road. Otherwise our 'faithful hero' will drop dead within fifty miles of here!"

"Metatron, this is the thirteenth time I have respectfully asked you to stop making statements such as those."

"Well they're true!" Metatron insisted, bending his knees and whipping his arms open with frustration. He looked to Kevin with wide eyes, implicitly asking for support. Kevin just stared him down and shook his head with disapproval. Metatron sighed heavily and rolled his eyes.

"Humans," he muttered with disdain, resuming his pacing. "Y'know. Real stories - the good ones? They don't keep us waiting on their characters."

"This isn't a story, Metatron," Kevin shot back.

"Oh whatever," Metatron waved at Kevin dismissively. Castiel looked to the sky and prayed for patience.

A few minutes later and the door to the bunker opened to reveal Dean bringing a few packed duffel bags out.

"Finally!" Metatron spat, then realized Dean had come without his brother. "Where's Sam?"

Dean, unabashedly ignoring Metatron, set the bags down and looked at their setup. A white van was parked behind the Impala - Dean had been sure to tell Kevin and Cas that if Metatron was coming with them, he'd be driving separately. He studied the van.

"A white windowless van, Cas?" Dean eventually asked, turning to the angel. Cas tilted his head, confused. Kevin smirked.

"I said we should spray paint 'free candy' on it," Kevin offered, smiling.

"I don't understand."

"Me neither," Metatron shrugged, looking at the vehicle.

"This van is suspicious, Cas," Dean explained, uninterested in full disclosure. "Is it too late to switch it out with something else?"

"What would you prefer?"

"Something comfortable for Sam if he has to lie down in the back. Kevin?"

Kevin nodded and walked over to Cas.

"Can you take me with you? We're looking for like a minivan or SUV..."

Cas nodded. "Of course," he said just as he touched Kevin's forehead and they disappeared. Dean sighed.

"They'll be back in mere minutes. Will you?" Metatron asked pointedly. Dean pivoted in pace to stare at the angel, obviously trying to keep his temper in check.

"Get those bags in the backseat," Dean finally said. He began to turn around when Metatron snapped, the bags vanished from the ground, and Dean spotted them stacked onto each other in the backseat of the Impala.

"Hurry, up," Metatron enunciated seriously.

Dean grit his teeth together and walked down back into the bunker.

...

Sam was up, his fury at Dean having galvanized him into sharp, pissed movements around the bedroom as he got dressed. He was still nauseated and feeling warm but otherwise he was in acceptable condition. He heard Dean's footsteps down the hall coming towards him before his voice echoed through into the bedroom.

"Sam, I got our bags packed. They're outside. Cas & Kevin are picking up an extra vehicle so we don't have to deal with Metatron. How are you doing?" Dean stopped at the threshold, staring at Sam putting an over-shirt on. "You're up," Dean said, surprised.

"Yeah. Didn't need a stupid wheelchair," Sam muttered viciously. Dean leaned against the door jamb in thought. Was Sam pissed at him or the wheelchair on that one?

"Well... good-?"

Sam stopped what he was doing and looked at Dean with vitriol.

"I'm not ready, Dean," he said sharply.

"I don't care, Sam," Dean returned. Sam pursed his lips, eyes lit with rebellion against his brother. "What the hell, Sam. Drop the attitude," Dean said, grabbing the Universe blanket off the bed along with a few other pillows.

"This is mean," Sam said lowly, watching Dean fold the bedding haphazardly. "I just want one more night."

Dean finished gathering the stuff together in his arms and sighed from across the bed. He fixed his gaze on Sam.

"You're not going to get it. You said we'd go. And now it's time to go," Dean said calmly.

Sam swallowed and looked away, his eyes watering at the injustice. Why wasn't Dean bending on this when he'd been so lenient about everything else?

"You can do this, Sam."

"I can't. You're wrong," Sam said shakily.

"You really think that?" Dean asked worriedly.

"Yeah," Sam whispered, looking down.

A few seconds of silence passed. "Well," Dean huffed, "guess we'll find out. C'mon, little brother."

"I hate you for making me do this," Sam whispered. He didn't see it but it was that moment that triggered Dean into matching Sam's terrible mood. It also happened to be the moment Sam forgot about wanting to take a tour of the only home he'd ever had; to say a final goodbye to the only place he'd ever felt safe.

"C'mon Sam," Dean said harshly as he grabbed a fistful of Sam's shirt and tugged it sharply towards the door with him. Sam reacted by hitting Dean's wrist.

"Don't... fucking touch me," Sam said and Dean let go as he saw Sam was following after him into the hallway. He was practically seething; Dean could feel his brother's eyes drilling into the back of his head and it was getting on his nerves.

"You're such a fucking brat," Dean whispered loudly.

"You're a piece of shit," Sam shot back.

"Well you're a fucking moron that wants to delay saving the world."

"One night, Dean. Wouldn't make a difference after we've spent weeks here and you damn well know it," Sam argued.

"I don't know that. And you don't either, Sam."

"It's called logic, asshole."

"I don't even know what you're talking about right now," Dean said quickly with a dismissive wave as they started climbing the stairs. Dean heard his brother mumble something probably scathing but he'd already turned off his interest in Sam's shitty mood.

Halfway up the stairs to the bunker's entrance Dean realized Sam had stopped to just stand on the steps, his shoulders hunched in and arms clutched across his chest, shivering. His face was down, probably inwardly battling the request which only further irritated Dean.

"Sam just fucking ask, will you?" Dean said sharply, pulling the Universe blanket out and roughly flipping it out and around Sam's back to the front. He tilted his head down to see Sam's expression. Sam was no less pissed but he grabbed the ends of the blanket to keep it wrapped securely around him.

"This isn't enough. I need a jacket-" Sam commented snidely after he'd taken two more steps up.

"So we'll get you a damn jacket, Sam," Dean muttered angrily, pushing the heavy door open to the bunker and letting the blast hit Sam straight in the face. "Oh. Sorry," Dean deadpanned as Sam dealt with the shock of wind, recovered, then braced himself to keep going.

"Such an asshole," Sam murmured as he passed Dean to go outside.

...

Kevin and Cas had returned with a dark gray SUV. Kevin had asked Metatron to move their gear into the less sinister, more family-friendly vehicle to give him something to do so it'd keep him quiet for a few minutes. Unfortunately Metatron had just snapped and it'd been done. He resumed his litany of complaints. He made Kevin want to scream.

They were saved by the door to the bunker opening and he heard Sam's voice filter out.

"-an asshole."

"Shut up," Dean's sharp command responded immediately. They trudged up the exterior stairs to the street as Metatron leaned over the railing to take a look at them.

"Hey guys!" Kevin greeted cheerfully, "Sam-"

"Don't talk to Sam - he's being a pissy little shit right now," Dean offered belligerently as he walked to the back seat of the Impala to throw the pillows inside.

"I'm not... God," Sam breathed.

"Sam?" Castiel prompted, interested.

"I'm not ready to go," Sam said determinedly. "This is fucked up. We're leaving too early."

Cas tilted his head in sympathy, Kevin looked to Dean, and Dean sighed with frustration as he leaned against the car.

"WHAT?!" Metatron yelled, stepping forward, his eyes bugging out. Sam gripped the ends of his blanket around him tighter but he stood his ground. "Are you insane?! We've already wasted precious time on your stupid nap! Do you even understand how ridiculous this has all been? How much we've been needing to get going since the moment Castiel found me?!"

Metatron was slowly approaching Sam during his diatribe. Dean stepped closer, begrudgingly protective.

"You are a tiny, insignificant, sniveling ant that's been given the opportunity to die for something so much more important than you... and you want a full night's rest?! Who the hell do you think you are?!" Metatron shouted, his last sentence forcing Sam to take a step backwards.

"That's enough, Metatron," Castiel said.

"What the hell is he even wearing, Castiel?!" Metatron whined angrily, "Look at him!" He gestured to Sam, now huddling and trembling under the Universe blanket, defeated sadness and fear in his expression.

Metatron bent forward, hands on knees.

"Is that your blankie, Sam? Is our fearless hero really-"

"Okay, shut up," Dean interrupted, voice steady and deep as he reached his brother. He wrapped an arm around Sam's back protectively and Sam bit his lip as he looked at the ground, allowing it.

"But-"

"Get in the car," Dean ordered.

Metatron sneered at the older brother for a few seconds until he gave up, rolled his eyes, and huffed with disapproval before turning around towards the minivan.

"A blankie," Dean muttered contemptuously, then shouted back at Metatron, "you look like a fuckin' hitch-hiking serial killer and you're calling a blanket out." Metatron shot him a dirty look and flipped Dean his middle finger before getting into the passenger seat of the van.

"I really don't want to drive with him," Kevin murmured to himself, massaging his temples.

Ignoring Kevin's comment, Dean pulled Sam slightly towards him and the Impala.
"C'mon."

Sam took one step forward and shrugged Dean off him, his temper somehow flaring right back.

"I didn't need that."

"Oh my God," Dean breathed, rolling his eyes as he let go and walked over to Cas. He heard Sam open & close the Impala's passenger door as he moved to face the angel. Cas's eyes were squinted, his gaze focused on what Dean had no doubt was Sam getting into the car.

"Sam seems-"

Dean held up his hand to cut Cas short.

"You going to get the pieces we need for the third trial?" Cas hesitated before nodding. Dean mimicked the angel's confirmation and looked into his eyes. "You be safe, okay?"

"I will, Dean."

"And check in on us whenever you get a chance," Dean said, his voice rough but it was still a clear hopeful request.

Cas' lips turned up slightly and nodded. "Okay."

"Good."

Cas stared into Dean's eyes for longer than necessary. Dean allowed it, now completely accustomed to this. He got the impression that Cas enjoyed looking into his eyes, his soul. It was both flattering and uncomfortable but Cas was an angel. In the number of ways he could have gone wrong as a member of his species, looking into Dean's eyes was as innocuous as it got.

"I will see you soon, Dean. Good luck."

Dean nodded. "You too."

With that, Castiel vanished and Dean took a moment. He washed a hand down his face. A minute later the sound of Kevin's voice registered close by and Dean turned. He spotted the kid by the passenger seat window talking to Sam. Taking a few steps forward, Dean opened the driver's seat door and ducked in to join the party.

"What's goin' on?" Dean interrupted. Kevin stopped immediately and looked at him like a deer caught in headlights while Sam shifted to stare out the windshield, determinedly silent.

Dean was better at reading his brother so he focused on him: a scarlet tinge running to the apples of his cheeks, jaw clenched, wide open unblinking eyes refusing to meet his gaze.

Was Sam embarrassed?

Kevin coughed and Dean raised his gaze up to the passenger seat window. "I was... just saying that Sam could get some rest in the back of our car if he wanted," Kevin explained hesitantly.

"Uh, okay. Sam?"

Sam clenched his jaw repeatedly and gave a small sharp head shake, eyes still focused straight forward at the road. Dean raised an eyebrow when he looked back up at Kevin.

"Um, okay. I was just checking," Kevin said, backing up. Kevin awkwardly waved and said goodbye to them before turning back to the minivan.

Dean glanced at Sam before pulling out his keys and turning the ignition.

"That was weird," Dean murmured distractedly as he let the engine warm up. Sam finally let out a huff and bent his head down to rub it.

"What?"

Dean couldn't believe his eyes when he saw the hint of a dimple through Sam's fingers.

"Sam," Dean prompted lightly. Sam put his hand down and looked at his brother wearily, a tiny smile playing on his face.

"He... he said he'd noticed..." Sam rolled his eyes and chuckled once before looking back at Dean, "he was offering the minivan so we could 'have some space,'" Sam air-quoted.

Dean's expression shifted from curiosity to a knowing grin.

"Aw," Dean undertoned.

"Shut up," Sam said, smirking, "jerk."

"Bitch."

"Dean... sorry-"

"Shut up."

Dean shifted to drive and they started down the road, Kevin's gray SUV pulling up right behind them.

They were off.

Author's Note: Originally published 11/2/2014, revised 8/20/2019.

Thank you so much for reading & please comment/review if you can spare the time! ~ Alex