After getting their bags inside Dean asked Sam if he wanted to wash up or anything and Sam declined, still feeling drained. Dean acknowledged it and figured in that case he'd take a quick shower and ducked inside.
Dean didn't close the door to the bathroom, better to hear if Sam called for him, so when the shower spray went on it was loud and clear. Sam sighed and finally slumped down onto his pillow. It took a few sore moments of moving like an old man to successfully get his feet up on the bed.
He closed his eyes and tried to clear his mind. He kept accidentally coming back around to how he'd always taken his health for granted. He lifted his hands to look at them, examining the delicate bones, the veins on the inside of his wrist. Even though he'd literally died several times before, his life had never seemed so fragile to him as it did now. The blood flowing through his body, his heart beat, small rhythmic streaks of electricity pulsing through him, were the only things keeping him alive, allowing him to exist and think and hold this beaten & hell-ravaged soul inside.
Perhaps it was the state of his soul that allowed Sam to withstand the trials' symptoms. He felt no sense of resentment towards his body's failings. Perhaps it was a fitting symmetry of a kind: a battered soul wouldn't feel betrayed by a battered vessel.
Sam recognized his dramatic musings for what they were when Dean's terrible off-key rendition of Skynyrd's Simple Man blared out and echoed from the bathroom's acoustics. Sam huffed a small smile and sighed again. He took in the motel room's decor. The curtains were maroon with a chevron pattern, the floor carpet a dark brown floral disaster, and the bed linens featured some nice shades of murky green. The boring landscape artwork was framed by wood spray-painted gold. Sam could tell because the paint was chipping and flaking off.
Sam turned over and found his Universe blanket. It was particularly cheerful and stood out in the drab room with its bright colors and patterns. Sam pulled it up and spread it out over his queen-sized bed. Sometimes the little things made all the difference these days.
As Sam huffed back down onto his bed, slightly out of breath, someone banged on the room door.
"Hey it's me!" Kevin called from outside and Sam frowned.
"Hold-" Sam coughed, "Hold on Kev." He listened for his brother, who'd stopped singing at some point but the shower was still running. "Dean!" he hollered, and the water turned off. "Dean!"
Dean appeared soaking wet and dripping with a towel cinched around his waist with one hand.
"What's up - what's wrong?" He asked seriously, looking Sam up and down with wide eyes. Sam swallowed and looked apologetic when the door banged again.
"Hey," Kevin called from outside, "it's me."
"Could you get the door?" Sam asked, his words overlapping Kevin's and Dean was already on his way over. He gripped the knob with his free hand and opened the door only so far.
"Get-in-Get-in-Get-in," Dean said urgently and Kevin hopped to, rushing inside with a generic white plastic bag carrying three styrofoam boxes of food. Dean slammed the door shut and padded straight back into the bathroom whispering what sounded to Sam like, "shit fuck it's cold, holy shit, oh my God," before slamming the bathroom door to towel off and change. Before Sam could revel in the comedy of it Kevin got started.
"Please let me eat with you guys here. I cannot handle one more minute with that-"
"Metatron?" Sam prompted knowingly even though, to be fair, he knew nothing about what it'd be like to have Metatron in the passenger seat. Kevin grimaced with wide eyes and nodded as he moved over to Sam's bed, setting the bags down on the mattress between them to pull the boxes out. Sam straightened up to sit against the headboard.
"What's he like?" Sam asked softly, folding his arms across his chest, ready to listen.
Kevin let out a frustrated sigh as he opened the boxes: burger for Dean, grilled cheese for Sam, club sandwich for himself.
"Well," Kevin sighed, "the guy doesn't stop talking, for one thing."
"About what?"
Kevin finished laying the food out on the patchwork bedspread and sat down. He leaned over to untie his shoes.
"Stories - classics mostly." Kevin pulled up to face Sam. He folded his legs under him and reached for his sandwich. Sam swallowed back the small pang of revulsion he felt at the sight of Kevin about to dig in, anticipating how he'd be expected to eat as well once Dean came back. Kevin held the sandwich to his mouth but stopped in thought, then lowered it to talk. Relieved, Sam refocused on him.
"He literally ran through every fatal flaw, archetype, theme, motif, you name it. He talked about so many classics he'd read I was seriously ready to throttle him. Felt like torture," Kevin said sincerely, shaking his head. Sam's brow furrowed and he raised an eyebrow.
"Aren't you in advanced placement? That sounds more like an ongoing college lecture more than torture-"
"Trust me, it's torture," Kevin quipped with a smile before taking a full bite of his sandwich. Sam smiled back. The nausea of seeing Kevin eat had passed so that was good. As long as Sam didn't think about having to eat himself he was in the clear so he just left Kevin to chew in silence as he mulled over his report on Metatron. "I think we were right to trust him though," Kevin suddenly spoke up, his mouth half-full. Sam flinched slightly and eyed Kevin curiously.
"Why's that?"
"Mm," Kevin hummed as a placeholder before swallowing his bite. "I don't think Metatron will betray us."
"Yeah?"
Kevin squinted his eyes and looked off in thought for a second. "The stuff he was saying… Metatron thinks the trials are only the beginning of your story. I don't think he has any intention to double cross us to," Kevin faltered but Sam nodded easily, "get you killed." Kevin paused to look down and swallow then looked back up into Sam's eyes, "He's so desperate about being part of a story, you know? And since he's chosen yours..."
"He won't let me die," Sam finished Kevin's sentence, nodding. Kevin sighed and nodded unhappily.
"Not peacefully anyway," Kevin said offhandedly before biting into his sandwich. Sam looked up.
"The hell does that mean?" Sam asked, concerned. Kevin froze mid-bite, then resumed chewing quickly so he could answer.
"Metatron kinda... like... really likes bloody endings for heroes." Kevin explained hesitantly, a slow apologetic cringe taking over his expression.
Sam closed his eyes, leaning his head back. "Tremendous," he deadpanned. Kevin winced and put his food down, his appetite no longer what it was. After some time spent in silence, the sound of the toilet flushing in the bathroom snapped Sam back to what was important. He cracked his eyes open to look at Kevin.
"Hey," he murmured and Kevin looked up. "None of that to Dean, all right? He doesn't need to know," Sam whispered tiredly.
"Okay," Kevin promised, nodding earnestly. "I'm sorry."
Sam made a face and shook his head. "Don't be sorry." He sighed. Dean would be out in a second and he needed to change the subject. "Hey," Sam prompted, suddenly upbeat, "does Metatron smell like cabbage?"
Kevin cocked his head to the side, baffled. "What?"
Sam actually gave a small chuckle at Kevin's reaction just as Dean opened the bathroom door wide and sauntered in freshly showered and shaved. He grinned at the sight of Kevin and Sam on the bed, then his eyes really lit up at the food between them.
"Eats!" he clapped his hands together before moving forward to snatch his burger up with relish. "Where's Metatron?" he asked offhandedly as he moved over to the other free queen-sized bed in the room.
"Probably like... standing... somewhere-?" Sam ventured comically, recalling Castiel's penchant for it.
Dean snorted softly as he put his feet up on the bed and grabbed the remote with his free hand. "I got him a room. Probably wasn't a need," he said offhandedly. Sam shrugged.
There was a lull between the three of them. Kevin ate as he sat cross-legged on Sam's bed. It was awkward so Sam sat up straighter and quietly waved for Kevin to come up and lean against the headboard next to him. Kevin swallowed down a bite.
"I'll go back to my room soon," he said tentatively as he maneuvered himself and his food over next to Sam and watch TV. Dean gave an indifferent nod of approval and went back to channel surfing. Sam rolled his eyes and smiled. Kevin gave a small smile back and bit into his sandwich, content to watch whatever Dean landed on.
The three of them relaxed and Dean murmured "sweet" while chewing his food when he found a station that was only ten minutes into Jurassic Park. Sam huffed and got comfortable next to Kevin. He secretly hoped he wouldn't be found out for awhile that he was the only one not eating.
"By the way," Kevin murmured, leaning in towards Sam so their shoulders touched. Sam's eyebrows raised as he tilted his head slightly to look at him, "he totally smells like cabbage." Sam gave a low-grade laugh and Kevin joined in.
"Cabbage and like... mothballs," Kevin added honestly with disgust.
"What?" Dean asked, turning away from his engagement with the film.
"Metatron smells," Sam supplied, smiling. Dean tilted his head to the side for a second.
"Not surprised," Dean replied comically and went back to his burger. The movie played on.
"I think we have a couple air fresheners in the car," Sam whispered to Kevin.
"Worth a try," Kevin laughed. He glanced at Sam's grilled cheese, still wrapped in the box. "You gonna eat?" he asked openly, but quietly so Dean wouldn't overhear. Sam appreciated it. He sighed and looked at the food. "I can heat it up for you," Kevin added.
Sam contemplated with pursed lips then let it go and nodded. "Yeah okay, thank you," he relented. Kevin beamed and jumped up with the container to microwave. He turned the corner into the kitchenette and out of sight. Sam realized Dean was watching him with a grin.
"You got yourself a fan," Dean teased quietly. Sam glared. "He looooves you," Dean added right after taking a huge bite of his burger and opening wide.
"Ugh you're disgusting," Sam retorted, shaking his head but having a hard time suppressing a smile. Dean laughed.
"Hey man anyone that badgers you into eating besides me gets four stars from where I'm standing," Dean murmured, still speaking in an undertone so Kevin couldn't hear.
"I thought you'd get jealous," Sam bantered back. Dean recoiled and made a face.
"You're weird."
"You're weird. I'm not the one with an unhealthy obsession with somebody else's appetite."
"It's not an unhealthy obsession with your appetite if your appetite is unhealthy to begin with," Dean counterpointed with no heat behind it.
"Of all people to lecture others on healthy diets, you do not get to be one of them. You wouldn't even know what a salad was if it wasn't for me."
"I still wish I didn't know what a salad was," Dean returned, making them both laugh.
Dean threw a pillow at Sam just as Kevin walked in with Sam's nuked food.
"I thought it was only girls that had pillow fights when they were all together," Kevin quipped then inwardly paused to wonder how the hell he got so comfortable to say stuff like that around Sam and Dean.
"Yeah well," Sam settled the pillow Dean had thrown him onto his lap to serve as his tray, "Dean threw the first pillow."
"I'll admit it: I love pillow fights," Dean offered distractedly, watching Robert Muldoon's character introduction talking about Velociraptors outside the paddock. The joke kind of died with Dean there but Sam chuckled anyway as he reached to take the first bite of his grilled cheese. It was delicious, waking Sam's tastebuds after a long slumber of finding everything bland. This grilled cheese had some pepperjack in addition to the cheddar though so it had a spicy kick to it that Sam found himself loving.
When Sam had finished half, Kevin left for a second to go to the bathroom. Dean leaned over and caught his eye.
"Hey. It's okay? You okay?" Dean asked freely, a mix between assessing Sam's food and Sam himself.
Sam stared at Dean, his brother's simple check-in having a surprising effect on him. Grateful affection rushed through him and while he wasn't wrong to feel it, he knew it was also partially due to exhaustion from the drive. He swallowed and nodded back to Dean.
"Yeah... yeah I'm... okay," Sam said haltingly, feeling a slight lump in his throat because it was true and Dean cared.
He pushed it all down. He refused to let this weird moment of weakness get the better of him. He took another bite of his grilled cheese as evidence to Dean and Dean quirked a kind smile and nod before going back to the movie.
Sam blinked the water out of his eyes. He knew he was more than justified to feel these things. The simplicity of them sharing a motel room and watching a movie and eating take-out, it was like any other good memory of basic comforts and care they'd afforded one another over the entirety of their lives.
It was like nothing and everything was changing at the same time. All Sam could think about was how many more nights would he get to have just like this one before he died.
Sam rubbed his eyes harder and forced himself to just eat the other half of his grilled cheese and watch the damn movie.
Dean got up to square a few things away as the movie came to a close. Sam and Kevin had fallen asleep in the other bed so he grabbed Sam's duffel and pulled out clothes for him in the morning, picked up some napkins and empty boxes off the floor to throw away. Sam had long since finished with the grilled cheese, the box still on his lap. There was an uneaten corner left inside though. Dean picked up the box and Sam grunted, moving, his eyes opening to slits. Dean unabashedly popped the last corner of the grilled cheese into his mouth and muttered to himself it was good as he crushed the box and threw it into the trash with the rest of them.
"Hey," Sam muttered, bleary.
"Oh, hey. Go back to sleep," Dean replied softly. Sam blinked his eyes open further and sat up a bit more. Dean turned off the TV.
"What? No, I'm awake," he said groggily. Dean gave a muffled snort as he folded his own clothes back into his duffel.
"Oh okay," he said dumbly, rolling his eyes. There was no reason for Sam to insist he was up right now. Dean himself was going to hit the sack in a second anyway. Still if he was up he could give Sam a job to do.
"You wanna wake Kev up so he can go to his room?" Dean asked lightly, nodding towards the kid sprawled out next to Sam. Sam shifted around to get a better look at him.
"He's drooling," Sam said, his voice full of crackly amusement. Dean smiled as Sam laid back down and tossed an arm over his eyes. "I don't wanna wake him up," he said wearily, "I don't even care."
"You sure?" Dean asked, turning off the rest of the room's lights before coming over to his bed and sitting down on the edge of the bed next to Sam.
"Yeah," Sam replied.
"All right. Sleep tight Sammy," Dean said, flicking the nightstand light off and pulling his shirt off in the dark. The heater had been on this whole time and Dean was feeling it.
He slipped under the covers and sighed. Then he realized this was the first time in a while he wasn't sharing a bed with Sam. He spread out, arms and legs akimbo across the whole mattress with a slow sigh of pleasure, hitting the cold pockets in the sheets with his feet and loving it. He listened to his brother's steady breaths and Kevin's small rustling movements on the other side of the bed.
Dean figured Kevin would be a habitually restless sleeper and idly hoped it wouldn't bother Sam too much. Sam wasn't without his own bothersome sleeping patterns too though. Ever since he was a kid Sam unconsciously inched towards whatever heat was in the bed when he was asleep, especially if he was running a fever. Dean doubly hoped that wouldn't happen. Not that it wouldn't be fantastic blackmail material to see Sam curled up around a poor unsuspecting Kevin - and now Dean pushed himself to recall exactly where he'd left his phone in the room so he'd be able to snap a shot of it if it did happen - but really he just hoped Sam's temperature would remain in a healthy range tonight.
Dean turned over onto his back and made useless wishes to all these ends. With a decisive huff he closed his eyes and soon fell asleep.
A/N: Originally published 1/6/2015, revised 8/20/2019.
Thank you so much for reading! Please comment/review if you can spare the time! ~ Alex