By dialing in six, six, six, and a nine while Sky was in the background struggling to lift a fragment of Sparda and Rebellion each he'd given her, Dante was punched through to a Demonic phone operator covered in mouths.
He didn't even need to speak before she sensed his intent through the phone and fearfully patched him through to the Devil May Cry head office, also known as Nero and Nico's truck.
Which had Nero in the side seat and Bayonetta, Lady and Trish in the back, as they'd all just finished helping fight off waves of demons as they helped Americans get onto boats to flee their country. An ever-growing greyscale void of stopped time grew to engulf a little more of America every day, freezing all those left behind in time.
Now their truck was on a boat until the next time someone wanted it somewhere.
When the phone connected, Dante reminded himself to avoid saying he wanted the truck or anyone in that truck here, so the demonic engine wouldn't take over and start doing some wacky high-speed nonsense.
Almost the whole Devil May Cry troupe was in that truck...
Oh yeah, Bayonetta joined Devil May Cry because she had nothing better to do.
The only ones missing were Vergil and Jeanne, who had formed a relationship of their own and taken over The Order Of The Sword. They had created a heavily fortified safe haven from demonic and angelic influence protected by Nelo Angelo statues, and their human military was trained and taught by Lady herself when she wasn't on missions, but Vergil and Jeanne themselves were currently on a different continent saving India from giant demons who looked like weird Indian gods.
"Have you lost your mind?!" Lady screamed into the phone.
"That's a shapeshifting demon, Dante, don't let it fool you!" said Trish.
"S-s-seriously, Dante, are you crazy?" Nico twitched and asked, still struggling to give up her cigarettes. But the doctor said that poison was killing her, so it had to go before she did.
"I have a cousin?" a stunned Nero asked, who was far more trusting than the women around him.
"I've heard stories about The Doomslayer and The Helltaker, but I doubt anyone's ready to hear the story of the Angel-Layer!" Bayonetta laughed. "So, that's why you asked me about that Resonance so long ago, is it? You only went and knocked one up!"
"Not by choice," Dante told her.
Bayonetta immediately stopped laughing and looked horrified. Everyone looked horrified, and Nero was glad she wasn't driving or she might have crashed.
The thought of any person being used was horrifying, and tragic.
"I'm so sorry..." Bayonetta spoke. "If there's anything you need to talk about-"
"I'm fine." Dante reassured them. "I don't remember anything, so it's like it never happened for me."
"It did happen," said Trish, "And we're here for you if you ever want to talk to us about it."
"Look, maybe I'll talk about this later. For now, I've got a girl here who says she's my daughter. And if you were here, you'd be able to feel it. This really is my daughter. She's descended from me and that fallen Angel I investigated and got mind-controlled by a while ago, long before I went to Fortuna. But after that stuff with Vergil."
Bayonetta didn't look mad often, but she was mad now. "Perhaps I should pay Rodin's dump a visit. I could probably torture another upgrade for her boots out of that disgusting little bi-"
"Tch," Vergil gave a noncommital ch-noise into his phone later that day, upon hearing Dante's news. He snapped his vintage early-2000s flip-phone shut, a gift from his wife, ending the call. He and his wife were in a small and empty bar in India, and while the plates and cups were filthy, Jeanne's taste in which wines to buy from the back wall were impeccable. A steely mask hid his inner jubilation, and his inner uncertainty on how to react to this news. "Another one," He spoke coldly, yet he wondered just how he should treat his new niece.
"Cheer up, Vergil!" Jeanne said to her husband. Two months of pregnancy hadn't slowed down her ability to hunt demons, but at his insistence, she took up the safer job of training her new town's recruits in the Umbran Arts. "Now you and your brother can share parenting tips."
"I can't see any of my advice helping him." Vergil admitted.
"Not if you want to play catch with your offspring." Jeanne smirked cheekily. "You need arms for that, after all."
"That was one time!" Vergil snapped. "And I was dying. It was a shameful act of desperation, but I thought I could leave my failing body behind and live on as a full demon. No frail human feelings, no sickeningly weak fears, nothing but my heritage from Sparda. How was I to know my demon half would disgrace me and Sparda's legacy in such a manner?! To this day, I still hate myself for not having enough strength to stop him alone, before he killed a single human in my name. I was willing to open the gates of hell at Temen-Ni-Gru because I believed with Sparda's power, I could slaughter all of hell and protect this world alone. None would ever have to go through what I went through again! If only I hadn't thrown my life away trying to take Mundus on alone-"
"Enough of that!" Jeanne insisted. "You can explain yourself to her when she's here."
Vergil thought about Sky, and what little about her he'd learned from Dante. He thought about his wife, who loved demonic weaponry and him. He thought of Lady and Trish, and thought of the Umbran Witch Bayonetta, and found himself thinking...
He did not know much about women.
But when he thought of the meagre arsenal Dante told him about, nothing but Dante's old electric sword and a pair of angelic boots with unknown potential...
He thought of how Bayonetta and Jeanne fought.
And he thought of the guns on their shoes.
"Do you think Sky likes guns?" Vergil wondered.
A smoking hot babe of a fiery woman with an elephant for a head and eight buff arms smashed her way through the wall, entering the bar with intent to kill. She spoke in the Angelic language, yet she could be understood clearly. "The weak fruit-gobbler who fancies himself the new Sparda... And his wretch, doomed to a tragic fate like all Umbran fools. Time will collapse, and all will perish... Decay and death corrodes life itself... But we will prove ourselves the greatest monsters of all before this story ends!"
"Do you think she's talking to us, dear?" Jeanne smugly wondered.
The tiniest of smiles formed on Vergil's face as his thumb unclicked his Yamato from its sheath. "Not a chance."