It should be illegal to be so damn attractive, even sleeping. Olivia was sure she'd stared at her boyfriend long enough for it to borderline on creepy. There were reasons though, she justified. Ed clearly needed her and she all she wanted to do was make sure he would be alright. For nearly an hour he slept without an issue, not even moving. That was the biggest hint to Olivia that he would be out for a while. It was safe to get up and take care of what she needed to.

Before she left the bedroom she changed into a pair of old NYPD sweatpants and a t-shirt that still smelled like Ed. Then she was off, making her way through the apartment to take care of what needed to be done.

The list wasn't long. Move clothes from the washing machine into the dryer, wipe down the coffee table, and make sure all the food was put away in case Ed got hungry later. Olivia realized it had taken her not even fifteen minutes. Until she remembered she needed to find Ed's suit jacket. Had he been wearing one under his vest? She stood in the middle of the apartment, scanning it to see where he might have discarded it. It wasn't in the bedroom, not on the coat rack, nowhere to be seen.

Didn't Ed have a home office? Olivia glanced down the hallway, staring at the open door to her boyfriend's bedroom. And then, off to the right, a partially closed door. They'd spent more nights on the phone together than physically with one another. Olivia, ever the detective, was curious most nights about where the Captain was and he usually answered that he was at his desk.

That door had to lead to Ed's office.

Pushing the door open further almost felt the trespassing but Olivia swallowed the feeling. All she planned on doing was peeking in to locate a suit jacket. But when the light flipped on she couldn't help but freeze in place at what greeted her. A wall of awards to her left, most that she hardly knew Ed Tucker had. There were photographs, framed write-ups with the matching bars and awards. Now she couldn't just stop. This was a chance for her to learn about the man she loved, a man who hardly shared about his life, and who Olivia suddenly felt like she knew nothing about.

Of course they were organized, earliest on the left to the most recent on the right. Olivia obviously had to investigate so she moved to start at the beginning.

The first photo was a proud young man, chest puffed out with the biggest smile Olivia swore she'd ever seen on Ed. White gloves covered his hands as they folded to rest on the front of his duty belt. All of the leather on Ed's uniform was polished to a shine, the uniform hat worn with text book accuracy. All that was printed across the bottom was the date Ed had graduated from Basic Training.

December 22nd, 1985.

Olivia took a few more moments to stare at the twenty-three year old Edward Tucker, surrounded by his parents who looked just as pleased and proud as their son. Without a thought she reached out to touch the photo, biting her bottom lip before moving on to the first award.

"Started out with a bang," she said with a small laugh.

Meritorious Police Duty — Honorable Mention
Presented April 2nd, 1989
Awarded to Police Officer Edward M. Tucker
52nd Precinct

Ah, a middle name. Olivia studied the write-up for the award. A shooting where Ed used himself as a distraction to save his partner and killed a kidnapping suspect. The photo next to the framed award and write-up made her pause. A very young Ed in his dress uniform, a proud grin on his face, and a slender brunette plastered to his side. She looked more proud than him, if that was possible. Olivia knew he had been married but she'd never seen the woman. With one last look at the first award, Olivia moved on to the second.

Medal for Valor
Presented December 18th, 1996
Awarded to Police Officer Edward M. Tucker
52nd Precinct

Two awards in and Olivia wondered how Ed and Elliot ever hated each other. Apparently they each liked to just throw themselves into danger. And apparently she had a type without even knowing the young police officer that Ed was. A shootout where Ed convinced his partner to use their cruiser as a rolling shield so he could grab another wounded officer. According to the write-up, Ed took a bullet to the back of his calf. Another scar she'd get to ask about. The photo next to the second award was much like the first. Ed had an arm proudly around the woman's waist, holding her close. The woman's hand was resting possessively on his chest.

Before the next award write-up Olivia studied a few photos of Ed as a member of the Emergency Services Unit. She knew he'd joined before a promotion, the rumors of a badass ESU officer jumping to IAB had been rampant. Each photo showed him proudly standing with the rest of his unit, rifles in hand, dressed like they were all ready to make entry into some dangerous house. That smile in each photo made her produce one of her own. Ed had to know how attractive he was, there was absolutely no way around it.

Edward M. Tucker
Sergeant — Emergency Services Unit 52nd Precinct
Promoted February 24th, 1999

The promotion photo was slightly different from those included with the awards. No dress uniform, a fancy suit filling out Ed's frame instead. The brunette wasn't standing as close, though he still had an arm looped around her hip. Olivia could tell the smile wasn't genuine like the previous photos.

The next photo took all of the breath out of Olivia's lungs.

She'd seen all the photos. They all had. It was part of who they were, part of their agency. Staring at the photo, she knew she had seen it before. Maybe not in color because she would have remembered it more. That had to be the reason it made her stomach drop. Or maybe it was because she was in love with the man staring back at her.

Those blue eyes were piercing, especially coming from a face covered in that all-known gray dust. Mouth half open, blood on the side of Ed's face and splashing across his jaw. No uniform but a gold badge indicating his rank hanging around his neck with a torn up shirt that belonged in an office and not on the streets of New York City on September 11th.

Olivia knew he had responded. They all had. Drop everything, get to Ground Zero. By the time she'd arrived, the towers were gone. Ed had obviously been there during a collapse.

What Olivia noticed most was the gaze from the photo matched the same gaze Ed had all evening. Empty. Blocking it all out. In the photo, Olivia could see a piece of torn cloth in Ed's left hand, bloody and covered in dust. What made her heart swell, though, was how strong Ed looked. The photo wasn't one of shame or sadness.

It was perseverance. Strength. Everything that Olivia knew Ed Tucker to be.

To the right of the photo Olivia studied the last award hanging on his office wall.

Medal of Honor
Presented September 11th, 2003
Awarded to Sergeant Edward M. Tucker
Internal Affairs Bureau
One Police Plaza

Olivia read the write-up and felt the knot in her stomach grow. How could she not know about what a brave man Ed was?

On September 11th, 2001, Sergeant Edward M. Tucker displayed an individual act of extraordinary bravery in the line of duty at imminent and personal danger to his life. Sergeant Edward M. Tucker performed an act of gallantry and valor with knowledge of the risk involved, above and beyond the call of duty.

Sergeant Edward M. Tucker selflessly ran toward the North Tower as it collapsed and used himself as a shield for a civilian who was unable to run from the debris flying toward them because of the collapse. Sergeant Edward M. Tucker then dug both himself and the civilian out of the debris, carrying the civilian out of harm's way to locate available medical care. As a result of his actions, the civilian survived and was able to be transported to the hospital for recovery.

For being a pompous ass for most of his career, Olivia had to admit that he was humble son of a bitch. Nobody heard about this side of him, they all just shouted "rat squad" whenever he appeared in any precinct. The next shock came when the photo next to the biggest award any officer could get didn't include the brunette woman. Ed stood alone, no smile on his face, in a dress uniform.

The rest of the wall was filled with his promotions.

Edward M. Tucker
Lieutenant — Internal Affairs Bureau One Police Plaza
Promoted May 1st, 2009

Olivia started to pick up on the theme that Ed's marriage ended after September 11th. The next photo showed him standing alone, a soft smile on his lips while he should be proudly showing off his new badge.

Edward M. Tucker
Captain— Internal Affairs Bureau One Police Plaza
Promoted January 2nd, 2016

Olivia took a step back to study the wall entirely, scanning each photo again as she watched Ed age. It felt like she had suddenly learned more about her boyfriend in last several minutes than she had in the last twelve months. They always joked with one another that she didn't ask specific enough questions to learn about him. Perhaps she just needed to do some investigating of her own to really learn.

"Emily left after nine-eleven."

The voice was raspy and made Olivia jump as her hand immediately moved to her chest.

"Fuck, Ed," she said as she heavily exhaled. She was scared because she'd just been caught snooping.

"We weren't really doing well in ninety-eight but I insisted we keep trying. I thought I loved her." There was no smile on his lips but Olivia did notice the firearm in his right hand, kept low at his side. He'd woken up alone and heard movement, for a moment he'd forgotten Olivia was in the apartment. "She wanted me to leave the NYPD. Pissed was an understatement when I not only stayed on with ESU, but became a Sergeant for the team."

"Is that why you moved to IAB?" Olivia moved forward and gently removed the gun from Ed's hand, setting it on the desk.

"Early oh-one," Ed said as he glanced up and to the right to make sure he remembered the timeline correctly. "Part of it was to try and keep her. The other part was seeing how many crooked cops there were once I got a gold badge. I'd try to punish them, I'd get my dick slapped." A shrug moved his right shoulder as he sighed. "Felt like the smartest move."

"Ed, I had no idea about any of these awards." Olivia turned to face the wall again. She was pleasantly surprised when she felt his arms wrap around her waist and his chest pressed against her back.

"Bear says he's a mouse." That response made her smile as she felt him press a kiss against her temple. "I liked being the rat squad instead. Nothing to prove, just work to do. Each of those was just me being in the right place at the right time. Any officer would have done the exact same thing."

There were so many questions running through Olivia's mind that she had trouble picking just one. That scar across his back, the fact that the gun on the desk was not his duty-issued Glock 19 but his Springfield XD-S, a weapon he'd purchased on his own to carry off duty.

Instead.

"What's your middle name?"

"Michael."

"When did you marry Emily?"

"Eighty-eight. Maybe July?"

That made Olivia laugh as she finally turned around to face Ed, studying how tired his blue eyes seemed to be.

"Well, at least you remember the year. Why the split?"

"She didn't like that I wouldn't talk to her about nine-eleven. Or about anything at all, really. She said I changed more after the big day and I know she was right. January fourth, oh-two." Remembering that date made Ed smirk, his eyes wrinkling as he dropped his head to place a slow kiss on Olivia's lips.

"You're excellent at communication though, why didn't you talk to her?" Olivia sounded breathless. Ed knew how to kiss so she shamelessly moved in for another one. When they pulled apart, she kept her forehead pressed against his own.

"She was a teacher. There was no way I would tell her about the job. It felt forced," he whispered. He let a hand move to run through her hair, lingering at the base of her skull. "With you I know I can tell you anything. You've been there, done that."

"I didn't jump on top of a civilian when a tower fell and then drag them to an ambulance," Olivia replied with a smirk. That statement made Ed blush immediately and it spread down his neck and across his chest. "Oh, did that make the great Captain Tucker blush?"

"Anybody would have done it," he whispered. Instead of speaking again, he moved to kiss her again, moving her backward until her back hit the wall of awards. There was one way he could keep Olivia quiet. It never failed. Tonight, though, his office was offering her more than enough distractions.

"You were a Ranger?" Olivia put one hand on Ed's chest as she looked at the wall directly behind his desk, studying the Army items hanging there. She had known he went into the Army at eighteen, never deployed. But a Ranger?

"Uh, yeah," Ed muttered. "I was at Joint Base Lewis McChord, Tacoma." It was hard to keep the smile off of his face because of Olivia's very specific questions. Once upon a time he had teased her, now she was taking full advantage. "Joined right of high school and did five years. Moved back here and applied right away."

Olivia felt comfortable enough asking him questions that she hoped the next one would be answered just as easily.

"You said you didn't get a shot off, why'd they take your duty weapon?" Ed tensed immediately in her arms, his gaze moving swiftly from the wall of Army items to meet his girlfriend's.

"Maybe we talk about that later and I take advantage of your position now." Olivia was quiet for a long moment, holding Ed's gaze before she nodded. When it came to discussing difficult subjects, Ed never pushed her. There were boundaries that he respected and Olivia was allowed to talk when she felt most comfortable.

"I think I'd really like that." The words were barely out of her mouth as Ed's lips crashed against her own. She couldn't help the moan that slipped out of her lips as he deftly scooped her legs up and around his hips.

"I won't be able to —"

"Ed, it's fine," Olivia cut him off breathlessly. Her head fell back against the wall, just next to one of the awards, as she felt Ed's teeth gently biting her neck. "I just want to feel you." There was hardly any time between her statement and feeling her boyfriend's hand sliding under the sweatpants and her underwear.

"Fuck, Liv," he sucked in a breath as his other hand squeezed her ass. "How are you already so wet?" The answer was a giggle that ended in a moan as he effortlessly slid a finger into her.

"All those awards, I had no idea you had done all that," Olivia managed to reply as she let a hand move to scratch down his back. The other cupped the base of his skull as he met her lips.

"Arms up," Ed growled as he pulled away. Olivia smirked at him as he impatiently tugged her shirt off her torso, his eyes widening slightly when he finally noticed she wasn't wearing a bra. "Oh, you tease."

"Fair play," Olivia replied, her head falling back against the wall against Ed'd mouth moved to attached to a hardened nipple. "Shit," she hissed, a hand moving to run through his short silver hair. "Fair play, Tucker," she repeated as her free hand moved just below her legs, pushing at his own pair of sweatpants.

In a moment he gently lowered her legs, pushing his sweatpants and underwear down in one easy motion. Olivia followed his lead with an impish grin, enjoying the view of her naked boyfriend. At this point in their relationship she wasn't shocked to see that he was already hard and it sent a chill through her body. If Ed was an expert at anything, it was pleasuring her.

Ed hadn't moved yet, clearly enjoying the view as much as his girlfriend. His chest was rising and falling faster than normal but the smile on his face was what made Olivia feel proud. For now she was able to distract him and she knew that they would both enjoy it.

"You're fuckin' beautiful, Liv," Ed murmured as he scooped her up once again. There was no warning as he slid two fingers into her, feeling how slick and ready she was for him. "God damn, woman."

"I want to feel you," Liv whispered into his ear as she moved her hands to rest on his shoulder blades. She took a moment to feel the scar, tracing a small part of it. She repeated the motion as she felt Ed adjust his feet, reaching between them before slowly entering her. It felt new each time, like they'd been deprived of each other for ages. They moaned in unison, Ed's face buried into her neck while she pressed her lips against his temple.

For a man of his age, Ed didn't hesitate to fuck Olivia in any space he could find. Against walls, the public restroom of an Italian restaurant, the back seat of his take home car. It was a pleasant change from her previous partners.

Despite the stress of the day, Ed was gentle, keeping a steady rhythm that didn't try to push Olivia through the wall. He kept one hand under a thigh, squeezing it enough to make Olivia groan. His other hand squeeze a breast, tweaking the nipple.

"Fuck, Liv. You don't know how bad I needed this." Ed couldn't suppress a moan as she tilted her hips and he thrusted deeper into her. It earned him a gasp that shot pride through his chest.

"Fuck me, Ed," Olivia replied as she dug her fingernails into his back. She knew what it took to get him going and she was proud of that. It surprised her that the buttoned-up IAB officer could lose himself in her and that she could drive him wild. To help spur him on she dropped her mouth to his shoulder to gently bite down.

The words that followed were difficult to understand but Olivia got her desired response. Ed's thrusts got faster as he kept her pinned against the wall. The sound of their bodies meeting filled the room and she could hear some of the awards shaking on the wall around her. Olivia let one hand move between them, running down Ed's abs shamelessly. She felt them tense with each thrust and moan as a shot of arousal went through her body.

Olivia didn't have to say a word and couldn't help the small shout that ripped from her throat when she felt Ed's fingers on her clit. She was already sensitive and arched into his body as he started to rub her.

"Come for me, Liv," Ed growled as he pulled his head back. His fingers were making quick work of her and Olivia knew she wasn't going to last much longer. "I want to watch you." He always knew the right thing to say to get her going.

"Ed." It was nearly a shout as she grabbed his head and shoved it against one of her breast. He took her guidance in stride, sucking and nipping on the nipple in front of him. His thrusts hadn't slowed down but he was doing his best to hold out for her. Suddenly, her body started to tense and her legs tightened around his hips.

"That's right, baby. Right there," he said against her skin. And then she was over the edge, shouting into the home office as her head slumped forward into the crook of his neck. It only took a few more thrusts for him to empty himself inside of her. For several moments the only sound in the room was their heavy breathing as Ed continued to hold her. She let her hands stroke the back of his head and between his shoulder blades.

A mutual moan slipped from their lips as he pulled out of her. Olivia felt him help her stand but her legs felt too weak to support her. Ed jumped in, supporting her as he placed kisses along her hair line. That was exactly what he had needed to try and clear his head.

"I love you, Olivia," he whispered. When he knew she could stand on her own he jumped into caring for her. Sweatpants and panties on, shirt over her head followed by a soft kiss. It made Olivia melt into him. She forgot that she had spent the entire evening caring for him.

"Alright Superman," she whispered when he pulled away. "I am here to take care of you, not the other way around." Without another word she helped him get his underwear and sweatpants on. "You look exhausted —"

"Gee, thanks," he replied with a wink.

"Hush. C'mon, back to bed with you." Olivia watched Ed as he grabbed the gun from the desk, keeping it in his right hand as she led him back to the bedroom. Out of habit, he placed it on the bedside table.

"I didn't like waking up alone." The admission was made without Ed looking at her. He was chewing on the inside of his lip.

"Then get into bed and I'll fall asleep with you."