A/N: I have been writing this since March (and I can't say I have gotten very far in that as it was an on/off process) as it was conceived in February right before a final (because that seems to be the best time to come up with these things) and I am excited to start posting it as it has developed a comprehensible structure and is starting to resemble an actual story along its chapters (despite the fact that it was supposed to be a one-shot).
There will be a companion fic (and some side fics as well) which will give some further insight into things and provide more perspective on both Griffin and Valtor's side. I am trying to keep it as a sort of an "extra" material that is not necessary for the understanding of this main storyline but I have not really done the main fic/companion fic duality before so there could be some mishaps on that front. Please feel free to ask if any aspect of this fic needs further clarification.
Now I have not yet completely decided on everything that this fic will include so I will give warnings at the note of every chapter. I, personally, don't think I will delve into anything too heavy in THIS fic (that may not hold true for the rest of the series) but everyone has different tastes so, please, make sure to have read the warnings and approached them responsibly.
This chapter, specifically, does not contain any sexual content. Just a bit of scratching, D/s dynamic and mentions of sex toys and ruined orgasm.
And lastly, as I mentioned, this is not a complete work so updates may end up with huge gaps between them. The story is more character driven, however, and the lack of plot and (big) cliffhangers will, hopefully, be merciful to the readers even if I do end up needing to go on a hiatus.
Valtor sighed out all the air the flooding relief was pushing out of him as he parked the car in front of the small pizza place he found his way to every Tuesday. He couldn't resist the pull of the knowledge that he wouldn't be alone if he went there. At least two of his friends were bound to be there at that time and more often than not it was all four of them waiting for him after a long and tiring day to relax together and remind each other they had support, and he valued that.
He was still unsure of how he'd become a part of their group when all he'd known of friendship before that had been sneaking out past curfew or stealing a couple of snacks from a gas station that later became a source of conflict when it had to be divided amongst the members of the operation but he wasn't going to question it and challenge the universe to take it away. He could take care of that well enough on his own and he had to do his best not to push away the only true friends he'd ever had.
He pushed the thought away, wishing he could pull it out of his mind with the ease he pulled his tie off of himself with but he'd never been good at freeing himself from emotional baggage. So he settled for freeing himself a bit more literally and opened the first two buttons of his shirt to feel his professional facade loosen its hold on him a bit and allow the human being to come out now that he knew it would be met with a warm smile and welcoming words.
He walked into the small establishment reveling in the atmosphere of the place. It was so organic, so cozy, and he was glad it had become their place for meetings–on Tuesdays; on Fridays they went to a fancier restaurant and it was always all of them unlike here where it was whoever managed to make it that week–with how casual it was. It had surprised him a bit at first because Faragonda he could picture at a place like that even if it took a little effort, but Marion and Oritel definitely didn't seem like they belonged there. Funnily enough since they were the reason they would all gather there.
The owners' girl–Selina–was friends with their daughter and they'd started frequenting the place to give the two girls opportunities to meet. Later they'd dragged all the rest of them there and it had become their hangout.
It was still surreal to him that he had a friend group even if it had been some time now and he was glad to see they were all there because it helped his heart rest easy with the knowledge it was true. And so did the vigorous greeting he got from all of them. It made him feel wanted somewhere and he had to make sure to deflect his own attention to something else because it would quickly become overwhelming otherwise, possibly to the point of tears now that he was already drained of the energy he would normally put in keeping himself collected.
He plopped himself down in the booth they occupied–next to Oritel–without any grace but none of them seemed to care or judge which was still the default reaction he expected from people. In all honesty, it would've made sense since Faragonda was always careful both in her words and actions but then again that was why she would never reprimand for something so insignificant even if she cared. Marion he was sure could never be anything but poised and graceful but she was also too kind and contained to make a petty comment like that. Oritel was a klutz himself–something Bloom had inherited–even if he would never admit it and they had a silent understanding of not teasing each other about that. And Hagen just simply didn't care and would never be caught paying attention to details like that. So really, he was safe from criticism and he wished his mind would just get used to that instead of making his heart leap in panic at the most simple action he himself perceived as being wrong for whatever reason.
"How was work today?" Faragonda asked, the optimism in her gaze making him regret what he had to tell her because she always cared how he was doing and wished the best for him and he always had to disappoint her.
"An exhausting nightmare," Valtor huffed despite trying his best to keep his annoyance to a minimum. He didn't like talking about his work once he was finally free of it but he also didn't want to discourage her from asking. It was good to know someone cared enough to do that and he was grateful for the sympathy that always surfaced in her at his answer instead of disappointment with his negativity or annoyance that he was burdening her with his problems. But that was because the question wasn't just superficial and she really wanted to know.
"A statement I can relate to," Marion said, her voice controlled but it was still surprising she let it out.
Valtor had a clear idea of just what hell she was going through and yet it was still startling to have her admit it. She didn't really complain, meeting every problem with her head held high and her spine straight like nothing could make her bend no matter how hard it pushed. He admired her for the strength. He wished he could handle his own issues with that much dignity instead of losing his temper, sometimes at the smallest of things.
"This is shaping up to be a tough week for all of us, huh?" Hagen said before downing at least half of his soda.
He was lucky to have a great support system as Faragonda's hand was immediately on his arm, rubbing soothingly. She didn't manage to do much as he caught it, though, but holding her hand was probably even more calming for him. Valtor knew how strong of an effect holding the hand of someone who cares about you could have on his own nerves.
"We should have a real celebration on Friday once we make it out of this low then," Oritel suggested and Valtor was already nodding in agreement.
He would be more than happy to send that week into the oblivion living behind his back where most of his memories went when he didn't want them in his head. It would be the best way to mark the end of his suffering–at least for the weekend–with his friends before going home for a private celebration.
"We might just have the reason for that," Faragonda said before giving him a smug smile.
"What?" Valtor asked, feeling anticipation grip at him which was rather surprising when he'd expected anxiousness instead. But he didn't feel worried. Not exactly. Even when he knew she was going to start poking at some aspect of his personal life. But then again that was the point of friendship, no? Sharing with your closest people. And they'd proven again and again that he had no reason to hide from them. Not that he'd been doing it on purpose. He just hadn't thought it was the time yet to share with them. He wasn't certain there was anything to share currently, really.
"You have a gift," she said, nodding towards him and sending a wave of confusion his way that washed over him a bit aggressively with its demand of him to think when he was already exhausted.
He looked down to see a lipstick mark peeking from under the fabric of the shirt now that he'd unbuttoned it some more. He remembered the touch of lips against his skin that morning when she'd helped him get dressed. She'd marked him hers. He'd worn her lipstick all day without knowing it and now that he did, he wished he'd been aware of it. It would've given him some strength and motivation to get through the day when he knew she was waiting for him to come back home where he could be hers openly. Although, it might have been counterproductive since he would've had trouble keeping his mind out of the memories of the pleasure he got when lost in the caresses of her mouth. He was getting distracted even now which could prove dangerous, what, with the knowing looks his friends were giving him.
"You should have us meet her," Marion said and, of course, she would choose right now of all times to be nosy when she always respected his personal space and kept from sticking her nose in his business. Even Oritel was more curious than her but the idea of a woman in his life seemed to prove too irresistible even to her not to prod. He had to admit he understood the temptation of the thought.
"Who?" he asked, playing dumb but he would do anything for Griffin's sake and comfort. She was a private person and they hadn't really talked about going public. He wasn't sure there was even anything to go public about. They hadn't officially said they were in a relationship and while he didn't care about that as long as he got to wake up in her arms, he wasn't certain how he could introduce her to his friends. What they did only concerned the two of them and definitely wasn't something that either of them was ready or willing to share.
"Your mystery woman," Oritel nudged his shoulder, startling him with the realization of just how excited they were at the prospect of him being in a relationship. "The one you've been hiding from us," Oritel said, almost sending a pang of guilt through Valtor before he remembered he had the right to decide with how much he wanted to trust them.
"I don't know what you're talking about," he said as he moved to button his shirt to keep their eyes off of Griffin's traces over him. He appreciated their enthusiasm, really. But he didn't know how Griffin would react to any of it. So he didn't want to reveal anything that she could be opposed to them knowing. He would try to play it off as a one-night stand but he couldn't make himself say those words when he was talking about a night he'd spent with her. She was so much more important to him that he couldn't refer to her like that even in pretense. It would be demeaning.
"Yeah, right," Hagen snorted. "That's why you tucked her lipstick stain safely away from our prying eyes," he said and Valtor really didn't appreciate the sass. Or maybe it was how close Hagen was to the truth that stung. "If she didn't mean anything, you would've already made that known," Hagen said, this time seriously as he looked him in the eyes and Valtor knew he'd been caught red-handed.
"Okay, fine," he did his best not to huff his frustration at them since the pressure he was feeling wasn't their fault. They just wanted to know and he usually had to be pressed a little to give any details other than his vague responses. "There is someone, yes," he relented because he didn't want to keep pretending Griffin didn't exist when she made him glad he was alive. And he was starting to feel bad for not trusting them when they obviously deserved it since they cared enough to learn how to tell what was going on with him. "But I haven't talked to her about introducing her to you so I can't tell you anything yet," he said, trying his best to explain without revealing things about their relationship but also without offending his friends. It wasn't that he didn't want them to know. He'd be thrilled to get her to meet them, see the other important people in his life, but he didn't know if she'd want that.
"We get it," Marion said and the rest nodded in support which he had to admit surprised him a bit.
He'd kinda expected them to start insisting he gave them at least some details and he scolded himself for having no trust in their respect for his privacy. They'd always been supportive and understanding when he'd shown he didn't want to talk on a topic. They'd left him alone when it came to his childhood. Of course, they'd be respectful now too.
"We also want to know that you're happy and be happy for you," Marion said as she extended her arm towards him making Oritel lean back a little to allow her the space to do so.
"I know," Valtor said as he took her hand, amazed to feel how naturally and easily he fit in the group just like the words had come out of his mouth without any resistance. "I am happy," he said, knowing it was true but still surprised he'd said it without the fear of him losing what he had taking over him. The stress and burden of work and his past were big monsters indeed but it couldn't get in the way of the joy he felt when he saw Griffin's face, when he felt her wrap her arms around him and heard her voice whisper things in his ears. "And I'd love to share it with you but when the time is right," he said, his own words plunging him into deep contemplation.
Why wasn't the time right currently? He hadn't talked to Griffin yet. But that was easily fixable. He just had to gather the courage and ask her. And of course, that was where the problem started.
What if he was making it more than she wanted it to be? To him it was so much to trust her the way he did and he was terrified of that being diminished. The bond they shared was the most special thing he'd ever had in his life which would've sounded far more impressive if his life had had anything good in it before her but he knew it wasn't just how deprived of affection he'd been that made him want her so much. She was incredible with her gentleness and the care she took of him and he never wanted to lose that.
Was he doing himself any good by keeping that from her, though? She could read him easily but he knew she wouldn't just assume that she had that big of a role in his life. Not when she refused to guess something as simple and harmless as his sexual desires even when they were obvious. He had to tell her if he wanted her to know. And he wanted her to know. His feelings wouldn't change based on her reaction. So it was a matter of turning to look at what he could gain rather than at what he could lose. It was something he was usually good at when he didn't have anything he held dear in the past but this time... He could lose her. She could decide to leave if she didn't return his feelings.
Could he hope she felt the same for him that he did for her? What reason would she have to? Sure, she was always so attentive and careful but that he could–and would–ascribe to her kind nature and not to the fact that he made her want to treat him in a special way. She was with him, she'd been for almost a year now, but she hadn't indicated she wanted more from their relationship than their current arrangement. And he hadn't either, yet he did. How could he figure out what she wanted if he couldn't read her like she did with him?
He couldn't. All that was left was to trust her feelings, which he did. But it wasn't so easy to get over his distrust of his own worthiness despite her countless attempts to replace the criticism the world had subjected him to with her own tenderness in his head.
Valtor did his best to focus on his driving so that he could get home safely where the question of whether to ask or not to ask could keep tormenting him. At least he'd still have the opportunity to have her all to himself if he managed to remain in one piece by the time he got there. And that was a very tempting motivator.
He managed without accidents except for the one still in the back of his mind and did his best to collect himself before entering his apartment. He didn't want to force them into the conversation if he wasn't ready and she was so good at telling when something was troubling him. She'd know instantly if he didn't put in the effort to keep it from her.
She was there just like he knew she'd be–she practically lived with him but, in all fairness, their activities kind of necessitated that–and the place smelled of jasmine. It was her favorite tea to brew for him as she said it helped calm his nervous system and clear his mind and he hadn't found a reason to argue with her. He always felt charged and ready for the next day when she served him a cup of it in the evening. But of course, it could be her presence that had that effect on him.
She usually cooked for him–for both of them–too, but on Tuesdays he ate out with his friends. He would've actually preferred one of her home cooked meals but he'd been trying to save face with his friends. Not that that had worked out, and he still had no idea whether to go for the obvious solution to the newly arisen problem.
"Welcome home," Griffin greeted as she came out of the dining room, her hair down from the updo she wore it in for work and spilling over her shoulders, contrasting to the dark green of her camisole that was slightly oversized and barely covered her body, leaving her legs exposed to his gaze. And to his touch when she allowed it.
She could relax when she slipped in it and he would never protest against her comfort, but he had even less reason to do so when she looked so good in it. It made him want to wrap her in his arms and he was lucky that she was reading his mind as she came close and had her arms around his neck, pressing into him to make the stress drain from his body.
"I've made jasmine tea to help you relax," she said as if he hadn't learned to recognize the scent by now and his mind didn't associate it instantly with rest in her arms. "But first, take off your clothes," she let her voice drop to that seductive low he was sure was illegal for it to reside in as she leaned in closer, tempting him to kiss her but that wasn't what she'd told him to do.
He pulled away begrudgingly, her arms opening to let him follow her instructions, and took off his suit jacket, handing it to her when she extended her arm. She hated it when he just threw his clothes on the floor or on various pieces of furniture and preferred to take them from him, taking her time folding them while she left him to stew in anticipation for a while. He had a love-hate relationship with that tactic depending on the day and how she'd follow it up but, of course, he trusted her judgment and left himself in her hands to marvel at the results.
"How did it go with your friends? Did you have fun?" she asked, skipping over work since she could probably tell how that had gone from the energy–or rather lack of thereof–of his movements. Her eyes were on him, following his every action and dissolving the pressure the day had piled on him.
He just wished to sink in her gaze and lie there for eternity. A desire only reinforced when she bit her lip at the sight of the lipstick mark she'd left on him that morning that was still there and it made his heart race a little bit under it and to the left. She wanted him, enjoyed the thought of him being hers, and there was nothing faked in that, he knew it. And the way she treated him out of the bedroom made him think it extended to the rest of their lives, too, that she wanted to be with him, not just be his dominatrix.
"I need to talk to you about something, Griffin," he said, attempting to contain the nervousness shooting through him and speak calmly to not alert her but he wasn't really sure to what extent he was succeeding. He couldn't quite tell how he sounded through his pulse pounding in his ears.
Her teeth worried her lip for a moment longer betraying his failure to keep the atmosphere from turning restless before she spoke. "Of course." She took his shirt from him too. "Let's relocate to the bedroom, though. Unless that would be a problem?" she asked, her eyes searching his face for any signs of what was going on so that she'd know how to navigate the situation and not overstep.
"No, not at all," he was quick to reassure, or at least he hoped that that was what his words did for her. He couldn't really tell when he handed her his trousers, his shoes kicked away to the side, since she was so collected.
It wasn't unusual for her to make him wonder how she kept her composure not only at the sound of his zipper but also as he dropped his underwear to the floor when he was getting all excited the moment she indicated she was taking her clothes off. It meant he'd get to touch the softness that her skin was–well, if she allowed it–and he could hardly contain himself.
The most she allowed herself was a smug look of ownership running over his body before she returned to meticulously melting his brain with the treatment she gave him but, to be fair, that did things to him, too. So maybe it was a good thing she didn't allow herself to be more open with her appreciation since it would just affect him more.
He moved towards the bedroom making efforts to embed the sound of her following him in there in his brain and savor every moment in case he'd be deprived of getting to experience it ever again. He had to strain just to hear her quiet steps, in fact, as she walked behind him barefoot.
She never wore shoes when she wanted to mess with him and make it hard to tell where she was standing so that she could keep him guessing. She put a lot of energy into fucking with his mind and not just his body and he hoped he wasn't reading it the wrong way, that it wasn't just the sex she was trying to make better but his life too.
He threw his socks and underwear on the chair he knew she'd use to put the rest of his clothes on and turned to look at her when they made it to their destination. "Where do you want me?" he asked since she obviously had plans and he didn't want to get in her way. He just hoped he wouldn't do it with his confession either.
"On the bed, face down," she said while freeing herself from the clothes she'd managed to fold already. "I'm giving you a massage," Griffin said, her dominance just as casual as the care in her words as she probably didn't even realize how much that meant to him, the fact that she was there and doing her best to help him relax from the stress of his job, that she even noticed when something was wrong and took the time to help him make it right. It made him want to do as he was told and while that wasn't really news since he'd always tried to appease people in his attempts to get the affection he'd been denied, she was the only one who made it easy for him to follow through with that desire. She made it easy to trust that she had his best interest in mind, easier than anyone else ever had.
"Thank you," Valtor said, knowing she couldn't understand if he didn't voice the rest of the thoughts in his head just like he knew she could read the deep meaning of the words in his eyes. It was all he dared show for now. Maybe if they got to a point where he was more secure that she could want him for an actual relationship...
"Don't thank me just yet," Griffin tried to brush it off playfully but he could hear the emotion she was trying to get under control in the halfhearted chuckle that didn't want to get out when she wanted to be serious but was forcing herself not to be.
"I mean it," Valtor said as he raised a hand to run through her hair before cupping her cheek. He was touching her without permission but she leaned into it so he couldn't find it in himself to care, focusing on the tenderness of the moment instead even if it felt raw and vulnerable. And he didn't want to let it go. He wanted to hold on a little longer to that feeling of everything inside them spilling silently around them and filling his apartment ready to overflow into the world and drown it out so that it could never come between them. At least that was how he felt it.
He pressed himself into her seeking more contact and the feeling of her camisole against his bare skin pulled on his muscles making them tighten. He was so exposed to the control he allowed her and it made him hard just thinking about it because that was a key component – he allowed it. He wanted her holding the reins, wanted her dominance, wanted her everything.
He kissed her, parting her lips and looking to get some of that emotion to flow inside him, too, and make him full. He wanted to escape from the emptiness he could feel unfolding inside him just at the thought of chasing her away like he'd always done with everyone else so he swallowed all the gentleness her lips were giving him even when he kept pushing against her rules. He would gladly take his punishment as long as she was there to give it after he'd shown everything, all of his greediness. It was the only thing he'd ever hope for, that she wouldn't leave him alone. It was all he wanted now and he doubted he could ever want anything else if he had her.
He pulled away, his heart protesting that she made him be the one to do it while at the same time swelling in his chest as she'd withstood his onslaught and hadn't tried to run away, making him feel abandoned. He managed to open his eyes to gaze at the beauty that she was with her devotion and he found her gasping for air with a mellow expression on her face like she'd melted. She was so affected and it had him weak in the knees.
"Get your ass into bed," Griffin said as if reading his need to get a hold of himself while a warning also sneaked into the quiet sound of her voice when she leaned in, telling him she wasn't to be messed with. He'd already allowed himself enough frivolousness as he'd defied the order the first time.
He ran a finger over her cheek to satisfy the desire to touch her that refused to leave him before doing as he was told, not wanting to push her further. He still had to talk to her and while she was never truly angry with him when he broke her orders and she kept their arrangement separate from their lives when it was necessary, he didn't want to risk messing with her mood. Or give her a reason to think the relationship wasn't going to work with him not listening to her when he was supposed to, when that was what they'd agreed on.
He got on the bed, face down like she'd told him and made himself comfortable as much as it was possible with the anxiousness returning to sneak in his stomach again despite it being all pressed into the mattress. Though, he had to admit that it was less acute now which wasn't really as much of a mystery as he tried to pretend it was.
"Scoot away," Griffin ordered only now to mess with him and he would glare if that wasn't exactly what he was asking for.
It had the thoughts in his head vanish to leave space for the words and feelings she was putting there and those usually had a striking contrast but a fine balance of reminding him he was under her thumb while also reassuring him he was receiving care like he'd never had before. And he had no idea how she was doing that, but damn if he didn't want her to keep it up. Her hands were gentle even as she punished him just like her heart was and he could lose himself in all of that. He wanted to.
He moved to make space for her and was rewarded with feeling her crawl on the bed herself, the mattress shifting to accommodate her weight.
She pressed her palms into his back pushing the burden off of him the moment the warmth of her skin entered him. "What did you want to talk to me about?" she asked only now that she'd chased a significant amount of the stress out of his organism and her hands started moving, working on him as if he hadn't surrendered to her completely already, but the tension in him was more tenacious.
Valtor took a deep breath, hoping she'd ascribe it to the pressure she was applying on him currently since he didn't want to worry her but knowing she'd figure out that wasn't it. "My friends saw the lipstick mark on me today," he said slowly, hating the fact that he was so probing when she was the one he trusted the most.
Nothing in her changed, though, as she kept the steady rhythm of the massage that had him relaxing enough to continue.
"They asked me to introduce you to them and I was wondering if you'd want to meet them."
There. It was out. He'd jumped and now he could only wait for her to catch him. He hoped she would as he didn't want to hurt. He'd hurt too much in his life.
"I'd meet them if you want to introduce me," Griffin said, her voice gentle to make it clear that there wasn't any resistance to the idea in her even if the words sounded somewhat reluctant in his mind that was as far from objective as it could get at the moment. "But you do realize that this changes things, right?" she kept her tone unwavering but the movements of her hands over his skin were more hesitant now, if only compared to what they'd been before.
"How so?" Valtor asked as he craned his neck as much as he could to look at her.
Griffin paused her work to look at him, the expression on her face serious. "This will make it an official relationship," she said slowly, drawing in a breath as if to calm the heartbeat he couldn't hear. "It won't be just the two of us in your bedroom anymore. We'll be out in the world," Griffin said, her voice even still but there was more emotion in it, trepidation maybe, that she was masking far better than he could but her breathing was speaking volumes. "Together," she added, her voice wavering at the word and he couldn't take the uncertainty in her when that was the one thing he knew he wanted more than anything else, ever.
He reached behind him to catch her hand, his hold on her a little awkward even when he adjusted the angle to something more comfortable since they were both using their left hands but it didn't matter as long as he could touch her and tell her what he didn't know how to put in words, or rather, was scared to.
"It's been a relationship to me for a long time now," he said as he held her gaze before pulling her hand to his lips to put a kiss on it, letting them touch it slowly, with intent, and allow all the emotion in him to come out and caress her skin.
Griffin squeezed his hand in response and allowed for a few silent and still moments to let everything sink in before she pulled her hand away, entering her role again.
"I was thinking of using my mouth to give you a slow and satisfying orgasm," she started and he tried to hold back from moaning since there was a second part to that sentence that would change it somehow but the best he could get was containing the sound to a strangled echo of what it could have been, "but you keep breaking my rules," Griffin continued and he could hear the mirth in her voice. She would have fun paying him back for that. "You're quickly losing privileges and the best I can give you now is a ruined orgasm."
Valtor groaned when she pressed hard into his back before her hands moved down, her nails digging into his skin as she dragged them over his ass and thighs and he could feel the marks they left behind. He gave a whine, too, to affirm his protest. To her words and not to her actions. He could never mind feeling her traces on himself as he'd proven all the times he'd encouraged her further when she'd bite him instead of leaving a simple lipstick mark.
"Maybe you can earn back the points you lost," Griffin said, dragging her hands back up but this time leaving her marks over his sides. "If you do exactly as I say," she whispered in his ear startling him as he hadn't felt her lean over. He'd been too consumed with the irritation her nails had caused his flesh–just enough to make him aware of his choice to be hers to toy with–and his mind was slipping.
"Yes, Griffin," he managed to get out when he put his efforts into that. It was a bit hard after her ministrations but so was he and he needed that glorious orgasm he knew she could give him. It would make all the strain of the day go away and make him feel good for putting all the effort in earning it. "I will," he promised, not even stopping to consider what he was agreeing to.
She was full of surprises and there was no way to tell what was going on in her head at any given time. Especially when it came to the games she played with him. He loved it.
"Good. That's exactly what I want to hear," Griffin said as she threaded her hand through his hair, stroking gently but he knew she would deal out a punishment if it was prompted. So he had to do his best to keep her pleased. "Now," she started and pulled away, leaving him tensing in anticipation, "I want you to go and bring my purse from the living room," she said, the movements of the mattress indicating that she retreated even more which was his cue to move if he wanted to come today and get any satisfaction out of it, too.
He did his best not to let his mind wander to what she'd have him do. He knew she kept a bullet vibe in her purse in case an opportunity presented itself for her to use it unexpectedly and also as a reassurance that she wouldn't be empty-handed if she needed something to drive him insane. Though, he was sure she could do that without any help from any toys. All she needed to do was get herself off while keeping him from touching. He knew she liked to be prepared, however, so she might have brought anything at all and he could only simmer in his lack of awareness until she showed him what was waiting for him which probably wouldn't take long at all.
He felt her gaze on him as he got up. It ran all over him when he stood in all of his nakedness but it only made him wish for her to follow it up with her hands tracing the same patterns over his skin that her eyes were instead of making him feel like a piece of meat which was, unfortunately, a too familiar feeling he'd never gotten used to and he was glad she'd never contributed to the nausea that accompanied it.
Her eyes left him when he moved out of her line of sight and he was surprised when he didn't feel her shift.
He chanced a glance at her that could be risqué if she was watching him but she hadn't moved, her gaze lost somewhere in the waves of sheets as a small smile barely dared tug at her lips.
He'd never seen such a sight before so it was only logical to assume it was prompted by something that was happening for the first time. Their conversation. The status of their relationship that was now changed. Well, at least officially since he'd known he was hers ever since he'd left himself in her hands and she'd made him feel safe. Probably even before that as he doubted he could've trusted her enough to let her have power over him otherwise.
She'd done something, something magical, and he'd fallen hard, yet it hadn't hurt at all. She was just amazing like that and he was glad to know she felt happiness herself. He didn't know what it was that she found in him but he wanted to give her all of it.