A/N: Here is chapter 3 that picks up right where chapter 2 left off. They have their experimental go at their new dynamic. It is all sex(ual acts) and insecurities (yes, a weird combination but one that will remain present throughout the whole fic). Now, without further ado (as there was a lot of that already), here's the chapter!
Griffin leaned down, bringing their bodies together, and joined their lips, too, letting herself spill into him, her body relaxing on top of him when he wrapped his arms around her to let his warmth seep inside her and remind her it was all for her. All his heat and desire, everything – it was all hers. And he let himself breathe it into her lungs and write it on the skin of her back, tangle it in her hair as he ran his hands through the purple strands feeling soft sounds beginning in her throat and falling into his mouth but they were far too tender to pull them apart and only fed his infatuation with her.
Griffin seemed to sense that as her lips got pulled into a smile that had them break the kiss but that was the one thing he didn't mind getting in their way. Especially considering what thoughts had been lurking in her head and trying to jump at what they had and tear it apart. It was good to see her come victorious out of the fight.
"Okay, let's try this," she said, her voice quiet but it was steady now and there was excitement in it that she was trying to keep under control when all he wanted was to see it unfold and wrap him in itself too.
She pushed herself up and moved off of him before he even knew what was going on and it was just the energy vibrating off of her that made up for the nothing that the absence of her warmth on his skin left him with.
Valtor propped himself up to be closer to her now that he was no longer inside her. "I didn't time this well," he muttered when it finally hit him that he'd let orgasm slip right through his fingers–or rather disentangle itself from his muscles much like Griffin had extracted herself from his reach–without even noticing. And his own release hadn't been the only thing he'd interrupted.
Griffin only gave him a smile with a hint of wickedness. Still, he greatly preferred it over the terrified expression her insecurities had twisted her face into. This was more like her, more like the mischievous woman that was so full of life she was overflowing and he wanted to be close enough to be carried away from the world in her waves.
"Well, it was your idea," she said, her innocent act holding up almost well enough to fool him. "Surely you must have considered that this idea will come with some minor inconveniences." She leaned down and pressed her cheek into his as she whispered in his ear, "For you."
A shiver ran through him and spread anticipation through his body like a fire consuming him. And his heart skipped a beat at the tease that carried her returning spirit. She was already slipping into her new role like it was comfortable sleepwear and yet, still wore it like sexy lingerie. He could only hold on to the ever thinning out threads of hope in his soul that he wouldn't tear through it when his own nakedness made his muscles shake with all the insecurities of his past it called back to. Could he truly be as good for her in reality as he was making himself out to be in his fantasies?
"Come on, get up," Griffin urged softly, dragging a hand down his inner thigh as she stood straight which did not help at all when the touch went straight to his penis that was still hard and ready. Though, the faster he fell in line, the faster he'd get to come. It was simple math.
He followed her instructions and got himself off the bed–she didn't say anything about removing the condom so he left it as it was–feeling a slight tensing in his muscles that he preferred to interpret as excitement.
Griffin caught him right there, pausing his thoughts as she placed her palms on his chest, and he was so grateful for the generosity of the contact keeping his mind from torturing itself by holding his focus on her.
"I want you to tell me if anything makes you uncomfortable, no matter how small," Griffin said as she looked him in the eyes and the golden was all molten with the heat she put in her words, the plea spilling from her irises when they couldn't hold it in. "If there's a problem, we'll talk about it or just drop what we're doing. I don't want to push you," she said, barely holding herself from pulling away and out of their game despite the ease with which she'd assumed her role. She was so ready to back out for him that he had to fight the physical impulse to press her into him and never let her put any distance between them again.
"Don't worry, I'll tell you," he said, his palms covering her hands to keep her close and run over all the warmth he could touch to feel the soothing effect she had on his brain. He'd hardly be able to keep the monsters in his mind at bay if they poked them to wakefulness anyway. She'd get to see them, all of his ugliness, and that had his heart speeding up and ready to rush away from the situation but the thought of missing the opportunity in front of him made it sink back into the ocean of his past misery where he couldn't breathe.
Griffin nodded. "Okay." Her eyes moved to the tangle of their hands. "I do believe you'll have to lose the touching privileges for now," she said, a devious spark in her eyes when her gaze met his again and his breath was all forced out by the swift change in her demeanor. It only confirmed what he'd read in her. She wanted this. And he wanted to do it with her.
He let go of her hands only on the promise that they'd be all over him and painting a picture in his mind that he'd never seen before.
"Of course..." he trailed off, the lack of a title to use popping up into his mind. "What shall I call you while we're doing this?" he asked as he went through his mind to see what titles he'd heard used in a situation like that. He could think of at least three or four so he needed her to tell him what she'd prefer. He would gladly let it in his mouth and keep it there as he wanted to do things properly, wanted to give himself to her completely. Respecting her–and now the power he gave her over him–had never been the problem that he'd faced with other people who'd refused to reciprocate the effort. With her it all just happened naturally.
"Let's stick to my name for now," Griffin glossed over his eagerness and he would object–he had to make the most of it even if they were just starting out in case there would never be more–but that would defeat the whole purpose of what they were doing. All the choices were hers now and he felt a pull in his muscles and in his mind that disrupted the rhythm of his breathing slightly. "Just make sure to use it every time you refer to me." She gave a smirk which eased any stray thoughts–and just thoughts in general–out of his mind to leave it free for what she'd put in it now that she was ready to use her power. "Bring me my shoes," Griffin said as if to further prove that.
"Yes, Griffin," Valtor chimed immediately and moved to grab them from where he'd thrown them on the floor while he'd been undressing her. But he let the memories fade away as it was too early to start missing what she'd taken away and grasped at the task at hand to get back the satisfaction that had been spilling from her when she'd been on top of him.
The shoes were easy to find, the color the most vibrant thing in his bedroom besides Griffin herself. It was blood red, like that lipstick that looked so alluring on her lips it made him want to kiss it all off so he'd stop being jealous of it for covering them for so long when he could only get so much of them even while kissing her as he had to pull away eventually since he, sadly, couldn't breathe her. And the shoes looked good on her, too, making him wonder if there was anything that didn't. Though, that wasn't much of a musing with how clear the answer was.
He took the shoes and turned back to get them to her, her intent gaze on him almost giving him pause. Heat rushed through him under the intensity of the golden irises as she drank in the sight that he made for and his throat tightened around the lump of doubt about whether she was pleased with what she was seeing. Her face certainly was unreadable.
It remained so as he handed her the shoes and she didn't make a move to take them pushing his mind into the chasm of what he might have missed. "Do you want me to help you put them on, Griffin?" he probed around to stop his fall. If it had been anyone else, he would've sooner died than even let the thought in his mind but he could hold on safely to the knowledge that she wouldn't think anything of it. Or at least not anything demeaning.
"The only thing I want is you sitting in that chair," Griffin said as she took her shoes, her eyes finally moving off of him to indicate where she wanted him even if there was only one piece of furniture in the bedroom she could be referring to. She was probably just testing the power her gaze–and the loss of it on his skin–held over him.
He nodded, boggling his mind with wondering if perhaps he should have responded verbally, and turned to get himself to the chair in question. He only kept it in the bedroom to throw his clothes at when he was too tired from the day and didn't feel like putting them away. Something she always scowled at and he could only get her to ignore by making her soak through her panties before he'd even taken off any of her clothes. But now that he'd surrendered to her all the opportunities to make him beg for her, his head was only full of eagerness to have her make good use of them and his muscles were straining to follow her orders.
Griffin only sat down on the bed once he'd made himself comfortable in the chair and was all focused on her. She brought her foot on the bed to make it easier to put on the shoe presenting him with quite the view of how wet she was, making his cock throb with the need he hadn't released and she was looking to exploit.
She was trying to kill him, he knew it. There was no other reason for that display. Not to mention that she never once looked at him, playing focused on her activities even though he knew she wasn't. She couldn't be. Not when he was this distracted.
She repeated the same process with the other shoe taking her sweet time and letting him stew in his desire and impatience–and what a terrible combination that was in his situation–as he felt his muscles readying themselves for attack and making him actively hold back if he wanted to be good. And he did. He wanted to be as good for her as she was to him.
"Okay," Griffin said once she was ready and sitting normally again. "You can come back here now," she said, her eyes locked with his and she didn't break the contact even as he got up and moved closer, making her crane her neck by coming to stand in front of her.
He was so close he could feel her breath on his skin. It trailed an invisible path over it he wished she'd follow with her lips before pressing her body into his to erase all of his thoughts altogether.
Her hands were on his sides and pushing, moving him backwards as she stood up and directed them away from the bed where there was more empty space. The feeling of her palms pressed in those delicate areas and the clear games she was playing only added up to make the feeling of vulnerability more distinct but–even to his own surprise–he was loving it. He was clearly hers to do with him as she pleased and she was right there to hold him steady. Steadier than he'd ever felt before, grounded in her softness as he was.
"There," she let her gaze roam over him and take him in with all of the submission he was currently wearing like a second skin. "You stay still," she said as she looked him in the eyes and brought her face closer, close enough to tempt him to kiss her and break the order, "and quiet." She leaned in, letting her hot breath hit his ear to see if she'd get a shiver running through him. "No begging to touch or to come," she whispered, the sound going straight to his erection with the duality of how quiet it was and how much power it still had over him. Not to mention all the scenarios she had running wild in his head and driving him insane when the desire to rush headlong into her plans clashed with her order. "Unless you want to stop," Griffin pulled back and locked eyes with him, dead serious and not allowing him to protest against the notion as she continued. "If you feel even the smallest discomfort you tell me to stop and I'll do it immediately."
"I know," he said as he held her gaze to soothe any doubts, in him or in herself, on both ends. He had a hard time admitting his weakness but she was all the strength he needed to be as open as the experience would require. He wanted to be open with her and not let any past pain come in the way of receiving all she could give him just because he'd have to give himself. Every part of him he gave had always been safe in her hands.
"I didn't hear that," Griffin said calmly but arched an eyebrow at him in expectation, the firmness in her grounding him instead of trapping him.
"I know, Griffin," Valtor amended, letting his breath leave him as a tribute to her, to how easily she was adapting to her role and how well she knew when to be stern and when to reassure. He'd known she'd do great and he hoped she was as comfortable as she was appearing to be as her comfort spilled into him, too, and he was more at ease in his skin than he'd ever been with her gaze caressing him with the affirmation everything he was doing was right. And that was definitely a first in his existence that had always been so wrong.
"Good," Griffin said more gently this time but she was quickly pressing into him to begin his torment or perhaps a better word would be resume. Though, he was willing to deduce she wouldn't take too long with that if she'd let him keep the condom on. Unless, of course, that was exactly the thought she wanted planted in his head.
Her breasts pushed into his chest and her perky nipples against his skin were like buttons pressed that released in him the impulse to touch instantly but he'd be damned if he failed to comply so fast. He had more restraint than that and he would hunt down all of it to follow her orders even when all he wanted was to pull her into his lap and tie together the ends of the string of pleasure they'd severed. He had to trust she was weaving a whole net around him to fall comfortably into.
"You're doing well," Griffin startled him as she spoke the words against his skin pulling slightly away to get her lips over his heart as if she wanted to put the reassurance directly in it and he wanted to protest against the burn of knowing he hadn't deserved it but staying quiet was the way to fix that. "I know you want to touch," Griffin murmured before pressing a kiss to his peck that soothed all tension trying to creep in with the promise she would protect him from the impulses tearing at him. "I'd want to touch, too," Griffin said as she moved away, filling him with the need to groan in protest but he held it back to be rewarded with a hand quickly trailing down his front, "if our roles were reversed," Griffin put a dangerous thought in his head only to jerk him back to her disappearing touch right as it reached his lower abdomen. It missed where he wanted it for an inch and made him miss the contact of their skin.
She moved behind his back and he did his best to just breathe and stay relaxed. It was okay and he trusted her to be so close even with his instincts screaming at him that he was a fool. He sheltered his thoughts in the pulsing of his heart in his veins as if it was trying to create waves in space that would draw her touch to his skin. That would soothe every objection his wounded mind could ever have.
"Just..." a finger connected to the nape of his neck triggering a jolt through him as the simple touch shook his whole being, "relax," Griffin said as she let her other hand fall on his shoulder and ground him there with her. "Let yourself feel," her voice was so low, lulling all his worries to sleep and leaving him open to enjoy the feel of her skin as her finger trailed down his spine in a caress he'd never allowed anyone else in fear of them breaking him in half. But he could trust her to let her do as she pleased. "Focus on my touch," she whispered in his ear, this time from behind, and he closed his eyes to chase away any other stimuli and have his whole being free to feel her only.
Griffin's mouth was where her finger had started, giving him the softness of her lips to sink in and drown any stray thoughts that had escaped the seductive fire her voice had swallowed his mind into. He was all hers and nothing else was allowed a hold on him. Not any sensations that she didn't give and not any insecurities he'd been dragging with him his whole life and feeling them clawing at his insides. Just her being making him feel things.
Her mouth moved lower pressing kisses over all the skin that was exposed to her and making him struggle to contain the impulses bursting from his heart to push himself into her more and offer himself to her. Her lips graced his back with their tenderness over and over again, leaving him entranced as he was carried into the wave of her kisses. Nothing existed but the warmth of her affection sinking into his flesh as he held his breath and all the rest of himself and waited for more, for her to give him everything because he knew she would and he didn't have to move a muscle to get it. He just had to keep still and allow himself to fall into all of her softness...
A gasp tore from him when she raked her nails over his skin and he felt the smile pulling at her lips that were still pressed into his back. She was smug over how quickly he'd fallen for her mind games and he'd be mad if it were anyone else but with her he didn't need to protect his pride since it was never her intention to hurt it. She was just peeling it away to let him feel.
She returned to kissing, her hand rubbing over the lines she'd made on his skin with her nails while the other was on his waist and keeping him in place and he appreciated the contact even though he was trying to stay alert, for she certainly wasn't done with her mindfuck. She wanted him to let his guard down again and he probably had to let her play him but he wanted to make her work for it as we-
Griffin's teeth sank in the skin above his waist startling him, making him pull away on instinct but she didn't release him. He hadn't expected it so soon after her previous detour from the course of kisses. He'd thought he was prepared only to give her something to use against him.
"Jumpy, are we?" she asked after letting go of him and he had to admit to himself it'd been hot to be held between her teeth just like he was clearly in the palm of her hand and he could do nothing about it. Lucky him.
He wondered if he should respond as she hadn't told him anything about answering questions–though, that one was rhetoric so probably not–but decided to do it anyway.
It was a moan that came out of his parted lips instead when he felt her hand sliding over his balls and then forward to his length from between his legs. Her words had closed off his mind for the feeling of her hand leaving his back and it was turning to mush from the paradoxes she wove around him that were so hard to comprehend as she played him like that, used his focus on her against him. He'd known she'd drive him crazy and she had barely started, her fingers just teasing over his erection to check if she'd lure a movement from his hips without really trying to get one. He would've had no choice but to give it, otherwise.
She let go of him and he found himself sighing in dejection over the loss of his torture. He didn't have the time to truly miss her touch, though, with the clicking of her heels penetrating the silence around and she was back in front of him, her features schooled in smugness every bit of which she'd earned. She was enchanting.
"You want more?" Griffin asked, making him swallow before nodding vigorously because, of course, he did. She'd barely given him a taste of all she could do to him and he was already addicted, his heart pulling him to break her order and engulf her in his arms just as badly as his body was. He wanted everything she'd give him.
"You'll have to return the favor in advance," Griffin said to make his mouth drop open.
He'd get to touch her.
He barely contained himself from leaning forward under the strain to grab at her. She hadn't tortured him long but he was eager to feel her, to affect her just like she'd done to him. He hated being so lonely in his impatience and he'd leap at the chance to bring her next to him in his desperation and have her working them both to their orgasms. And his body seemed to agree with him, his muscles tensing at the thought of release as if to nudge him towards it.
Griffin stepped closer again but left some distance between their bodies still. "Play with my hair," she said, nearly drawing a question out of him although, he should have seen that coming.
She held his gaze urging him to obey and turned around right as he raised his hand to tangle in her hair, the strands brushing against his skin at the motion and making his breath hitch once again with how close the contact was to where he wanted her hands. She must have planned it. And she was reveling in the knowledge she could influence him so easily, with a simple movement. Though, perhaps it was the atmosphere they had set around them and the air of subtle yet powerful dominance coming from her that made him so responsive to her tricks. Either way, he loved it.
He threaded his hands in her hair mostly seeing the sigh that left her in the way her shoulders sank a little rather than hearing it and drew encouragement from it to go on and do what she liked. He combed his fingers through the purple strands enjoying the sight of the soothing color and the immediate response he got from her.
She didn't hold back her moans. Of course she didn't. Just because her power over him was more official now didn't mean that it would be any different. It didn't mean she'd try to withhold her pleasure from him and he was offended on her behalf by his own behavior, by the doubts that she'd conquered again and again only to have them thrown in her face every time despite that. He clenched his teeth even though he knew it wouldn't grind them to dust. It never had and they still lurked in his mind even after Griffin had put so much effort into becoming the only thing in it but they would just win if he let them occupy his attention instead of putting it where it needed to be – on pleasing her.
Valtor moved his fingers in the strands, tugging on them and twirling them gently to have that feather-light pull at her scalp that felt tingly and had her shivering. He was instantly lost in all the things he'd missed when he'd been consumed with his own pleasure and the rest of her body and hadn't paid much attention to the hair-pulling as a separate activity all the other times they'd done it.
Her hair was unfamiliarly soft on his skin and the effect it had on her to feel him play with it struck him like lightning. He'd thought it was his thrusts that had had all those luscious moans falling from her mouth but now it became clear that a big part of the volume had come from his hands in the purple tresses. The information was potentially upsetting with the wound it could leave on his ego but learning it left him finally able to do more for her and not forget to pay attention to her hair. Perhaps that had been her intention behind having him do that now and he welcomed the message as her pleasure was of great interest to him, his penis twitching as if to agree when she gifted him with a loud gasp.
He was fascinated with all the moans he got from her now that his attention intact instead of it being pulled apart between her orgasm and his. It was just her satisfaction he was after and the apparent success made him almost painfully hard although he hadn't even gotten to touch any of her skin. He never would've guessed how much he could do for her just by having his hands in her hair but it made him want to run his fingers through it constantly if that desire hadn't been instilled in his heart already.
"Okay," Griffin took a second for a deep breath after a particularly loud moan he'd gotten with the gentlest pull to confirm that subtlety was his greatest weapon when breaking down her collected facade and he stashed the memory deep into his mind where it'd be safe even as she pulled everything else out of him with her sweet dominance. "That's enough," she turned to him, her breathy voice music to his ears if her moans hadn't been an entire symphony already. "Time to move on," she cupped his cheek but it was his chest that kept pushing itself up and towards her at the thought of what would happen next.
It got her attention and she moved her finger over his lips before she let her whole hand trail down to his ribcage and rested it there, feeling it rising and falling in tact with the movements of his lungs and he let himself soak up the contact. He missed her skin on his, especially after she'd let their bodies touch so thoroughly right before she'd decided on denying him more of that heaven. His fingers were twitching at his sides with the need to stroke all of her just like his penis was desperate for her acknowledgment.
Griffin wrapped her free hand around his erection as if she'd heard the plea making him gasp out his surprise at the slickness of her grip before he realized it was her own arousal. His hands rose to grab at her waist and steady him but he slammed his own breaks at the last moment which brought a smile on her face and he wasn't sure if the source of it was the control he'd lost to her mind games or the fact that he managed to regain it and hold himself back from stepping all over her rules. It was probably a mix of both of those but he had no time to ponder that.
"Griffin," he whined out his confusion along with the pleasure she had spreading through him. Her touch was heavenly on the spots where he needed it but what was she doing? He certainly couldn't have pleased her enough to have earned his own pleasure already.
"I do believe you weren't supposed to speak," Griffin said, her tone calm and her hand still moving over him despite the punishment he deserved for his transgression.
"I don't understand," he said, his voice strangled in breathlessness with all of his air under her control which was fine with him. She could take everything she wanted and he'd give it happily but she was giving him and he couldn't make sense of it.
"You don't need to," Griffin took even more of his breath away when he'd thought she already had all of it. "All you need to do is feel," she said, taking away the weight from his shoulders, too, and he felt so light, so empty of everything and ready to be filled with what she'd give him. "Your pleasure is mine to give and take," Griffin pushed more, further into the new reality where he didn't have to make any choices, where he was free to just exist and accept her will as his.
It made him moan, his hips pushing into her palm at the thought of how utterly he was eager to surrender to her, how completely he trusted her to take care of him in his vulnerability and not use it against him. Not with malicious intent anyway. He didn't have anything against the way she kept him guessing and played with his mind, not just with his body, to bring him pleasure.
"There's no logic to this, Valtor," Griffin's tongue caressed the letters of his name to have the sounds come out and caress his brain with the seduction they were woven from, making him lean even more into her, into her touch and into her presence as she was so close and so generous. "I do as I please and you take it," Griffin said, the smugness dripping off of her and drowning him right before she pulled away, taking his stimulation with her and finally letting him fill his lungs with air without the pleasure she'd give him to keep them full.
He gasped loudly, drawing in the air she wanted him to take now that she wasn't giving him anything else and opened his eyes to see her chest mirroring the movements of his–though, perhaps the intensity was lesser–but he knew she was breathing in pleasure. It was there, in her eyes, taking over the golden and making it darken to seduce him into the cover of her arousal.
"Your turn now," Griffin reached for his wrist and closed her fingers around it. "Finger me." She brought his hand up and pressed it into her inner thigh letting him feel the arousal dripping down her leg.
Valtor sucked in a breath as his fingers latched on to her skin and dived into the wetness on it. She was drenched and it had his eyes rolling in the back of his head. It was all because of him, because he'd chosen to submit to her.
The aggressive flood of desire that washed over him poured out in a grunt despite the order to keep quiet–it was mostly discarded at that point anyway but he still wanted to try to keep to it–at how easily his fingers slid inside her and how her walls immediately gripped at them. He used two as he normally would even though she could certainly take three with how soaked she was. His penis throbbed more intensely at the thought of sliding inside her arousal but she hadn't given him permission to do that yet so he'd have to do with using his fingers to please her for now. He pressed his palm against her clit for more stimulation but her hand was on his wrist again and pulling it away.
"I didn't tell you to do that," Griffin locked eyes with him to remind him it was her place to make all the decisions, "but since you're so eager to please, we can utilize all resources." She let go of his hand only to grab at the other one and press it into her breast giving a pant when she used his fingers to squeeze.
Valtor froze. Not because of the sound, unfortunately, as enthralling as it was. And the effect was only exacerbated once she let go of him and left him on his own. He'd handled the hair-pulling before but it had been the perfect proof that he hadn't paid close enough attention on how best to satisfy her and he didn't know if he was up to it. He didn't want to see the familiar look of disappointment shove all the want out of her golden stare and the arousal practically flowing down his fingers didn't help as it had been his surrender that had gotten her soaked, not his initiative.
"Valtor," Griffin's hand was on his cheek, the other one resting on his shoulder as if she found enough trust in him to let him hold every part of her. His name drew him back to her even though it didn't carry that tempting energy it had before but was instead soothing and gentle with the care she laced in the sound of it. "Stay with me, okay?" she asked as if she'd peeked into his head to see the words of his problem.
Her hand moved from his shoulder down his arm and then to her body, under her breast and trailing up before cupping it at which Griffin closed her eyes but her thumb was still moving over his cheek and brushing away any thought that tried to attack his mind and keep his focus off the lesson she was giving him in how to please her. Her fingers ran over the outlines of her breast as if to acknowledge its existence but keep her suspended in anticipation of pleasure just as her lips parted to stay open as if begging the air to come in and fill her as she had yet to experience the ecstasy she could get from both him and herself.
It reminded him to move his fingers and he pumped them in and out of her, taking notice of the motion and letting it entrance him but not to the point where it kept him from following what she was doing to herself and trying his best to emulate it to have her breath hitching. She was generous enough to want to teach him what he should have known by now.
He mirrored the movements of her fingers leaving the same gentle traces over the breast she'd let him take care of that she gifted herself with even if it took efforts to keep himself from falling behind just because he was hypnotized by the image she made for as she pleasured herself. She was doing it more for him rather than for herself and he needed to keep his head in the game, have the subtle reactions she was letting him witness at her caresses imprinted on his brain.
He had to hold back from giving her everything he had when her chest pushed into his palm since she wasn't in a rush to answer the silent plea and kept her fingers tracing the outside of her breast, barely closing in on the nipple as if she had no interest in the destination if she didn't get to explore the road to it. It wasn't something he understood but he followed her pace knowing she had a better idea of how to satisfy herself than he did and soaking in all the little things his mind could take a hold of. Like the movement of her hand from his cheek to the side of his neck and then to his shoulder as she sought to steady herself in the pleasure gently sweeping at her and the way the rhythm of her breathing was disrupted by the caresses of their hands forming a pattern that had her chest rising to press closer into the touch she was deliberately withholding.
It was still doing its job, more arousal drenching her thighs and his fingers as he pushed them inside her and her hips moving to meet the thrusts seeking more stimulation that he could give her if she hadn't forbidden it. The soft sigh falling from her lips snapped through his restraint with how much more powerful it could have been if she'd stop torturing them both and let him touch her the way he wanted to.
"Why do you insist on denying yourself, Griffin?" Valtor asked, his voice harsh against his ears with the frustration pouring out on them the possibility of her desire fizzling out as she was pulled out of her heated haze that she'd taken the time to build so steadily. He had to fight the frantic impulse entering his muscles and keep the pace of his ministrations as slow as she wanted it. No need to do more damage, and he'd gladly take a punishment to make up for what he'd ruined.
Her eyes opened slowly as if not to chase away the bliss that'd had them closed and she found his gaze, no annoyance in the golden irises to fill the emptiness of her interrupted process.
She raised a hand to stroke his hair. "Delayed gratification," she said simply before her fingers closed in the blond strands and she tugged softly, drawing a surprised gasp from him. "Just like I'm not quick to deal out a punishment before you're done breaking my rules," her fingers trailing over his cheek in a feather-light touch that tickled and made him put effort into not pulling away. "I'll give you a hand with that," Griffin leaned into him, forcing him to adjust himself quickly if he didn't want to disrupt the stimulation he was providing for her. "Put that mouth to better use than getting you in trouble," she whispered in his ear before her hand closed into his hair and pulled his head down as Griffin moved away, guiding him to her breast.
He didn't have time to think and panic about it with so many actions to coordinate in the name of her pleasure, and his. He had to maintain the pace of his fingers pushing and curling inside her and focus on the firmness of his touch on her breasts. He had his lips latching on to the spot he remembered her fingertips had last traced to place a kiss before he let his tongue lick at her skin. He was pleased to hear the quiet moan that left her at the wet contact.
He wanted more, wanted to give her more and hear more of her appreciation, her voice in his ears the best way to lead him out of the doubts he couldn't see through. And her body arching into him like a snake trying to get into the skin of the building orgasm he was wrapping around her was enough to entrance his fingers into speeding up but he couldn't rush when she wanted it nice and slow. He wanted to use the opportunity to focus on her now that chasing his own release wasn't distracting him and she seemed grateful as she clutched at his arm and threaded her fingers through his hair keeping him close and marking his body with proof of the sensations he was bringing her just like the sounds spilling from her were running down his spine to have him shiver.
He'd just made his way to her nipple, to closing his lips around it, when she tugged him gently away, her other hand releasing him to pry his off her breast.
She let herself push her hips against his fingers a few more times before she caught that hand and drew it away as well, leaving him missing the snug feeling of how perfectly they'd fit inside her. "That's enough," her voice barely came out through the swirl of air leaving her lips as she panted helplessly in an attempt to fight the breathlessness he'd brought her to. Yet, the words were still said, pushing at his ability to contain himself.
"You haven't come yet," he said only to start cursing internally at his mistakes, "Griffin," he added to fix at least the one that he could. It was too late to take back the words altogether.
Griffin smiled at him, letting her knuckles brush against his cheek as if in gratitude for his concern for her orgasm. "Neither have you," she spoke softly and it was so low of her to bring his attention to his own arousal as he was left unsatisfied.
His penis twitched as if in response to the indirect mention to draw both their focus on releasing all the desire Valtor had gathered and it only became worse when Griffin brought his hand up and licked at the fingers that had just been inside her.
He gave a low moan that felt extremely insufficient once she wrapped her lips around his digits to suck them clean and he had to break eye contact. His will was not strong enough to keep his focus off her mouth even when he could feel the golden burning into him with how intent her gaze was, could feel her drinking in the sight of how enchanted he was by her and the way she toyed with him.
Griffin released his fingers with a pop, the sound of sloppiness that he knew she made on purpose resonating through him to find no release. "Let's fix that," Griffin laced her fingers with his which did not do as much to distract him from the implication in her words as he would have liked it to.
She pulled him into a kiss, her hand running over his neck as if testing for his pulse to decide how much more he could take or rather how much more she could get away with pushing him. Her tongue was in his mouth and letting him taste the traces of her arousal on her own, making breathing even more of an issue. As if it wasn't already labored enough from having her leading the kiss. She was claiming that as her territory now, too, claiming all of him, and he needed to hold on to her but he'd already broken the rules enough times.
Griffin pulled away, staying close to him, her lips just barely an inch away from his. "Kneel," she whispered but even that soft sound hit him hard enough to have pulled away from her if she hadn't been holding him tight.
There was a beat of hesitation as it took him just a second to choke down the protest in him and sink to his knees. It was Griffin he was kneeling for. It was a gesture of worship, not debasement. And she would never look down on him except in the literal sense of the words since she was towering over him now and had no other way of looking at him. But there was still as much respect and affection–if not even more–in her eyes as there had been before and her fingers were still entangled with his without anything to break through their connection.
He tried to focus on his breathing and get it back into rhythm now that it was clear she wasn't repulsed by what she was seeing but it proved impossible at the sight of her sinking down too.
Her thighs pressed to her front keeping her body hidden from his gaze to urge him to look at her face but he couldn't. He didn't want to be face to face with her understanding. He couldn't accept that he'd let her see his doubts in her and that she forgave him. It was proof it had happened and he wanted to escape the memory of his betrayal.
"Valtor." Her gentleness stabbed him in the heart with the awareness of how undeserving of it he was. "Look at me," she lifted his chin with the hand that was free of his death grip and he wanted to call the action betrayal of his trust in her but it was the exact opposite. She wasn't using the power he'd given her to hurt him. She was just trying to help him and he was being the ungrateful brat that he'd always been. "I know how hard it must be for you to put yourself in my hands like that," Griffin started only after he finally caught her eye and he had to keep looking at her if he wanted to get it over with but he couldn't let her see what was going on in his head and she was too good at that.
He averted his gaze.
It wasn't. It wasn't hard at all. But he couldn't tell her that because it didn't make sense and he would risk scaring her away when logic was her lifestyle. He couldn't tell her how much he yearned to have met her before all those doubts had had the chance to set in his head and mold his brain to be the home to so many obstacles in her way to him. He couldn't tell her she made the monsters retreat. He couldn't allow himself to guilt trip her into staying if she didn't want to. He couldn't allow himself to be a monster to her when she was his light.
"You're not the problem, Griffin," he just said instead. It was something he knew to be true and it was far easier to admit than the uncertainty his whole being harbored as it was the only thing he was good enough to keep inside of him. He didn't know how to hold on to happiness like she did even though she was helping him make happy memories. They had trouble surviving in all the darkness life had spilled into his head.
"You're not either," Griffin said and he had to look at her because she'd read his thoughts again. He'd start thinking she had magic or telepathy. "Everyone who failed to see you for who you are is the problem," she said, the golden burning soothingly and threateningly simultaneously, making him feel safe and fear for all those who'd made him feel like scum for he knew she'd hurt them if she ever got the chance. And his heart swelled despite the fact that he was making her darken her own with the hatred he was putting in there. He shouldn't repay her like that for everything she'd done for him.
"Who am I?" he asked instead, selfish to the very end as he'd been the only one who'd ever given a damn about him if he didn't count the fluke in the universal fabric that his friends had turned out to be. And even her gentle touch hadn't been able to unwrap him from the cobweb of that trap yet as it stuck to the walls of his consciousness like it was the only thing holding his broken pieces together and he was too afraid of falling apart to let go of it.
"A person who is to be given affection," Griffin said and cupped his cheek making him want to look away but if he did, she'd continue her speech and she'd make him cry, he knew it. He couldn't cry now. He wanted to focus on the good parts, and that was her. Her and her pleasure.
"Good thing I have you," he let just enough playfulness in the words to move them on from the topic. He knew he was safe telling her that after what she'd just said. The safest he'd ever been, and he wanted to savor the moment, not waste it going through the emotional baggage that would be right there on his shoulders after they were done. It would always be there and in that he was even more certain than he was in her. And admitting it was just another suitcase threatening to rip his muscles apart with its weight so he needed to feel her, he needed her ecstasy to save him from the misery he was always locked in.
"You do," Griffin let her hand fall to his shoulder as if to ground him there as she rose slightly. She didn't give any panic time to settle as she made herself comfortable on his thigh, the wetness of her arousal on his skin drowning out everything else and helping the bad memories his brain was made of dissolve when she was right there, wanting and moaning.
The sounds quickly started spilling from her mouth as she rode his thigh and he couldn't keep his head above the flood of pleasure coming from her. He had to touch. He'd broken the rules already anyway.
His hands were on her arms draping them over his shoulders to help them both – her with something to brace herself against and him with giving him unobstructed access to her body. His touch was everywhere, groping at her thighs and ass and stroking over her sides and abdomen. His fingers found her nipples to pinch and tweak as his lips attached to her throat to kiss his desire into her and have her help him release it from his system when she came.
It didn't take long at all for her to reach the edge and he would have been surprised if it'd been otherwise considering how drenched she was. Just the thought was enough to make his eyes roll in the back of his head but her wetness all over his thigh was pushing him to the edge all on its own. If she kept it up, he'd probably come without her even touching his erection and that was just another link in the vicious circle of arousal she'd bound him in. It was the best position in which she could have tied him up.
She started shaking and he pulled her into himself and held her close as she bucked and moaned, her hips still moving to provide the friction she needed to ride out the orgasm and he'd be happy for those vibrations to disintegrate him and release all the need coiling in him. There was a sheen of sweat covering her skin from the exertion but he couldn't care less. He'd love her to stick to him and stay where he could feel her until the memory of not touching her was gone from his muscles, in fact.
Griffin nuzzled her head into the crook of his neck, her hot breath hitting his skin almost too much stimulation to his aroused being but he only held her close, offering her the comfort and peace she needed to calm down after the intensity of her orgasm.
"That was glorious," Griffin rewarded him for his patience by letting the words get directly under his skin and flow into his veins spreading through his whole body a sense of fulfillment and desperation.
"Sounded so," Valtor chuckled. "Also looked like that," he added. "I just couldn't get a feel of it." Okay, so that wasn't entirely true as he'd felt her whole body squirming in his grasp and shaking from the waves of the orgasm that washed over him with the frustration he could feel taking over his being. He just hadn't gotten to feel her walls clenching around him and pulling his own release out of him.
Griffin pulled away to look him in the eyes. "Get me to the bed and I'm all yours."
Her sentence was almost interrupted by the squeak that left her when his hands slid to the back of her thighs with the speed of light and he picked her up in a second, laying her down on the mattress in the next, his legs having no time to be weak as he was on the bed already and climbing on top of her.
"You're mine," he said as he let his lips attach to her throat again to seek confirmation of his statement in her veins.
"I'm yours," Griffin gave him a verbal one as well and he felt it reverberating through her throat followed by a moan as he thrust inside her.