So, bad news. Danni has sprained her shoulder joint ligaments so it has made typing on the computer rather difficult. I will be writing when I can but it might be coming a bit slower until my injury gets a bit better. Sorry guys.
Anyways, good news here is the next chapter.
Enjoy! Thank you to everyone that has been reviewing and showing their appreciation for this story.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Everyone had slowly disappeared to their rooms throughout the night. He'd just gone to the bathroom and when he opened the door Ziva was standing across the hall from him, leaning against he wall and eyeing him up like a snack. He chuckled. She'd had a good time and a lot to drink tonight and so had he.
"I do believe you behaved yourself tonight Tony" she said, licking her lips and pushing off the wall.
"Oh yeah?" he returned and she was stepping into his space. She angled her chin up to him and smiled, making a humming noise deep in her throat. He loved her like this, so carefree. All night with their friends she had been the open Ziva, the one he always saw behind closed doors. She wasn't the assassin with the hard shell, she was just a girl in love and happy. Maybe just a little drunk too, but he wasn't complaining.
"That deserves a reward, yes?" she said. Her hands were going up to his chest and she them down his chest to his belt where she dipped her fingers around the leather and pulled him closer to her. Oh yes, drunk, happy Ziva was a horny Ziva. He chuckled softly.
"What reward might that be?" he questioned, even if he knew exactly where her mind was at right now. Her eyes were twinkling up at him and that beautiful brown of her eyes had almost gone midnight. He knows that look well by now.
"Well, I might allow you into my bedroom for the night" she pressed her lips to his softly, pulling back before she allowed him to kiss her back. Her bedroom? He had yet to see. She had kept it private. He was half expecting them to stay in one of the guestrooms where he'd claimed, he wasn't sure if she was going to let him into her room. If's it been her room since she was young, there would surely be a lot of personal things in there.
But maybe she was fine with him being in that room, because she didn't care what he saw. She was open to him and she didn't want to hide any part of her. She winked at him then and trailed off towards the part of the house he hadn't seen yet, none of them had. He quickly made his crutches move and plodded along behind her.
He noticed that this part of the house was on the other side from the guestrooms and with her vocal reaction to sex in mind, he was glad. As much as he didn't mind their friends seeing them kiss, hearing the screams of Ziva's orgasm was different. That was a lot more private. Not that he doesn't think Derek being his neighbour in the apartments hadn't heard something before, but the man surely hadn't brought it up.
He followed her to a room at the very end of a corridor, to the right. She turned and smiled at him as she walked into the soft light coming from the room. Ziva's room.
He came to a stop at the entrance and took it all in. Ziva was smiling at him a little shyly now and he suddenly wondered if she'd ever brought anyone into this room before. The look on her face told him probably not. A large bed was against the wall to his right, facing the large French doors that took up the majority of her wall on the outside of the house. White linin covered her bed, multiple plush looking pillows covered at least half the bed.
There was a large Persian rug on her wooden flooring, the rustic red, blues and browns giving the plain room colour. She had a few pillows and a throw on her bed, matching those colours of the rug. There were a handful of small lamps around the room, giving the place some ambiance. Many plants around the bedroom, giving the room life. He wondered how much of a green thumb this woman was, as they were all definitely real plants. There was also a bathroom to the side of the room that he could see.
Very light oak wood furniture was around the room, her dresser, a small desk, bedside tables. As he stepped into the room, he noticed more details. Small candles and little personal items littered her dresser and desk. His eyes caught the small ordainments on her dresser, all of which looked unique and handmade.
"In my travels, I have always made a habit of collecting something from a local market if I have had the time" she explained when his fingers touched a small hand sown camel. They were all beautiful.
"These are wonderful Ziva" he said, looking at them all. They all looked so unique and he would bet they all held such different stories behind them. Maybe one day he will ask about those stories. He noticed she had two photos on her dresser. One of them he recognised the people, her, Azriel and Ezra. They were all in IDF uniforms and young. Maybe eighteen. He suddenly realized they have known each other a lot longer than he thought.
"Those two boys, have been very good friends for a long time" she said quietly. When he looked up at her he realised she was moving further away from the sultry mood she had been in before entering her room to a very honest and open one. He wouldn't have it any other way. He leant his crutches against her dresser so he could place a hand to the small of her back, giving her that comfort her eyes told him she was needing.
"I am glad you have such good people by your side Ziva" he returned, holding her gaze. She smiled softly at him and he didn't miss the way her eyes were glazing over with tears.
"Me too" she said, turning back to the dresser. He looked at the other photo on the dresser and her hands were picking up the small frame and stepping into him some more, so she all but rested into his side. He pulled his arm around her tighter, assuring her that he had her.
She turned the picture towards him and he recognized the young Ziva and Ari from the photo she had shown him before. There was also an older woman and a younger girl, both holding the curls and smiles that Ziva had. The woman, Ziva was a splitting image of her. Mom and Sister.
"This was the last time we had a photo together" Ziva said softly. He watched the way she traced her finger along the frame. This photo was clearly very precious to her. He remembered when she'd told him that her mother and sister had been killed. In the photo they were all smiling and laughing.
"Things were very different before they passed away" she whispered as she stared at the photo. "You know, I used to dream of being a professional dancer. My mother loved dancing. She was a woman all about love and anything to do with love. Her and Eli were very different in that way" she went on. Tony stroked his hand down her side, understanding that her letting him in on this information was not easily done. It was a privilege.
"Sounds like you got a lot of who you are from your mother then" Tony said and at his words Ziva's eyes met him in confusion. Tears were close to spilling from her eyes. He suddenly realized that Ziva had always thought of herself like her father, not her loving mother. She was oh so wrong.
"You are nothing like your father Ziva. Yes, you might be in the same profession as him but what you do for him, you do out of love. You might have a tough exterior, but what's in here" he said, placing his other hand over her heart "Is only love. You might not see it, but you're not a fighter Ziva, you are most definitely a lover. I think if your mother was here today, she would agree with me" he said. That's when the tears she had been holding back slipped, streaking along her cheeks.
"I do not think my mother would be pleased with the woman I have become" she whispered, placing the photo back down on the dresser. He gathered her hands in his then, holding them tight.
"I think your mother would be beyond pleased with the beautiful woman you have become. Its not about the bad things you think you've done, think about what you've done and how many lives you have saved or protected because you took some evil out of the world. If you hadn't of done some of the things you have, think about how many more lives would have been ruined if you hadn't" he explained. He didn't know in detail what she did before meeting him, but he doesn't think he's wrong in his explanation. The people she dealt with, the blood she has split, it was never blood of someone who hadn't brought darkness to this world. Of that he's sure.
He brought his hand up to wipe away the tear stains on her cheeks. Her eyes were holding his, in shock, in wonder. In love. Then her arms were around him tight, her hands fisting into his shirt as she held onto him for dear life. He felt a sob tremble through her body as he wrapped his own arms around her. He would not let her fall.
Her face was buried into his neck and he could feel her tears on his skin. He suddenly realised that no one had ever explained her worth, that she was a good person. If he had to tell her that every day for the rest of his life he would. Because she was a good damn person. And she was so full of love. If anyone felt that it was him.
He didn't expect when he saw her room it would get this emotional, but clearly, she'd never let anyone in this much. The fact she was letting him in like this, was big. Maybe she did care about him the same way he did. Maybe she would be willing to make them work, as much as they could. He knows that's not a conversation for tonight. Tonight, he would be there for her. Like she'd always been there for him.
Sure, they'd had a few ups and downs but he knows the push and pull was only because they were both scared at the way they made each other feel. It scared him to think about how serious he was with this woman. He never thought about the future, only the moment. But with her he had always been thinking about the what ifs of the future. It was something she just brought out in him. He knows that's because she was a lover, and she brought out the lover in him too.
He pulled her tighter to him then, holding onto her like nothing else in this world mattered as much as she did. He knows he loves this woman.
After what seemed like forever she was pulling back slightly, looking up at him with soft eyes.
"You know Tony, you have taught me more about myself since I met you than I ever have on my own in ten years" she admitted quietly. A sad smile crept onto her face then. The smile held many things, appreciation, adoration. Love. He brought a hand up to the side of her face then, brushing her unruly curls behind her ear.
"You might not realise it sweetheart, but you've made me realise a lot of things about myself too" he smiled down at her. Because she had. Since Wendy, he never thought he'd want to love again, try settle down. But since meeting Ziva, he realised he was kidding himself. He wanted that more than anything. He never noticed how lonely he was until he met this woman in his arms.
Spending nights alone in his apartment back in DC had seemed nice, but since he started sharing his nights here in Israel with Ziva, he knows he doesn't want to spend them alone anymore. He's not sure if this is what he always wanted or if this was just something Ziva brought out in him particularly. He'd say it was a bit of both. And after feeling this woman's love, her presence so often in his arms, his bed. He didn't want it any other way.
He sees Gibbs back at home and he doesn't want that to be him. He'd been on a fast track there lately and he never noticed that he was going to be the old guy who drinks bourbon in his basement alone because he didn't share his life with someone.
He doesn't blame Gibbs. He couldn't imagine trying to love someone like that again after Shannon and Kelly. He wonders if that was the same for his father. They were a lot alike, Gibbs and his Dad. They'd both had the love of their life taken from them and had circled with endless possible women after but never really settling down again.
Derek had been right; you only find a love like that once. And Ziva, she was his love, he was sure of it. He wasn't going to let her go, he couldn't. If he had to move to Israel and learn to speak Hebrew, he was actually starting to consider that possibility. Because he wasn't going to be like Gibbs, spending his years focusing on the job and not his life.
Sure, his work was his life but he suddenly wanted more than that. Ziva brought that feeling out in him and he'd never before realised how much he truly needed it. He knows his Nonna bags on him around getting married and having kids every time he sees her and before now, he'd dismissed it without thought. He didn't need that; he'd always said to himself. But now, now he's starting to think that's all he wants. With her, with Ziva.
Maybe it just takes the right person for you to realise how much you want from your life, to show you how much potential you actually have. Because before you meet them, you are never aware of that. Because it had always been you and you were content. But then you meet that person and understand just how much you had been missing and how much more you want from your life.
Yes, Ziva had made him realise a lot of things about himself.
He wasn't sure how, but they had ended up snuggled up in her bed. And yes, the bed felt even better than it looked. It was like he was lying on clouds. His bare chest was pressed to her back and his hands all but locked around her, never wanting to let go. His face, buried deep in her curls and he breathed her scent in with every breath. She was intoxicating.
The evening had ended up a lot more heartfelt than he expected, but he was okay with that. A lot had been shared between them and he couldn't think of a better way to end that except for holding her tight in his arms. He loved her; he was sure of that. He didn't know if he could tell her those words yet, he'd never actually said them before. Not even with Wendy. And maybe that's why they'd never worked out because he couldn't man up and say the words.
But now, right here with Ziva in his arms he was starting to think that it hadn't worked with Wendy because it was never meant to. He was meant to meet Ziva and fall in love with her. Because she was the one. He wasn't the kind of guy who believed in fate when it came to all that romance stuff, that you fall in and out of love with different people because it wasn't meant to be. They weren't the one. And then when you find the one and you'll know. It'll be different, it'll be right.
He couldn't help but believing in that fate all of sudden. Because Ziva, she felt right. He knows their lives are miles apart, but it still felt real. Like it would be okay.
"I will fight for you Ziva, I'm not giving up on this" he whispered into her curls. Her snores were soft and filling the room so he thought she was asleep. But when her hand around his moved and she laced her fingers between his against her belly, he realised she wasn't quite asleep.
His heart was pounding in his chest, because she had most definitely heard him. His words of promise.
"I will be right there with you, fighting too" came her soft reply. He almost didn't hear the words they were that quiet. He realised then that yes, she would try for him too. That she didn't want this to end when he goes home next week because there was far too much love here to let go that easy.
His arms pulled her even closer, gripped onto her because no, he wasn't going to let her go. Not if he had any say in it. He knows he told her earlier she was a lover and not a fighter, but when it came to love, he knows she was going to show just how much of a fighter she really was.