Disclaimer: This licence isn't mine. The opinions express by the characters are not mine. I do not support nor encourage the illegal or dangerous acts or words present here. I can make a distinction between fiction and reality and I trust in my readership's ability in doing the same.

Chapter 45: Blueberry Pie's Adventures, Part 1: Doubts

In the Berry Bitty World, children did not need their parents for a long time, and little humans were perfectly independent around the age of six. It was good for little Blueberry Pie, who was in a paradoxical situation: On one hand, her mother could take care of her but did not want to; on the other hand, her father wanted to take care of her but could not to. Who would be able to solve this problem?

Everybody in Strawberryland put its shoulder to the wheel, as they were all in the same boat; even though no one of them had decided to boarded in it. What else could they do? Leave this poor baby girl die out of carelessness? All the girls divided the work. Orange Blossom agreed in taking care of the baby at nighttime until she would sleep all night.

Plum Pudding, who was back from Bubblegum Valley's Hospital and originally too preoccupied by her own physiotherapy to be concerned by somebody else, admitted it was fun to make some early learning activities with her, and she even added, one day, that they would probably both learn how to walk together. However, her recovery was spectacular: surgeons of Bubblegum Valley had managed to rebuild her legs, muscles after muscles, nerves after nerves; and all the pain and weakness she used to feel had disappeared. Her body was like new, and she couldn't wait for meeting again her workmates in Berry Big City and make her great return. Plum Puddin', her brother, was delighted to see that his sister was happy again, but often had to reason with her, and to repeat her to not overdo her exercises, but to take them up again little by little. "It's just like you had never had this accident", he said. "Those surgeons are really magicians". When he heard that, Berrykin Bloom assured his apprentice that they were rather illusionists, of whom the back of the word had already been mostly broken by their magic sparkles.

Strawberry Shortcake and Angel Cake, whom passion was cooking, were in charge on feeding her and giving her bathes. This way, no one of them was stuck all day long with Blueberry Pie.

Huckleberry Pie, from his side, could not stay indefinitely in Strawberryland, where he had no future. After some two-ways trips between Strawberryland and Green Meadow Village, Sister Pudding had told him he should really settle down now. He had been forced to find a job of sales assistant in a pet shop, in Green Meadow Village, and lived in one of the emergency cells in the convent. Each week-end, his shirt and pant covered with cats and dogs hair, he came to Strawberryland and never let anyone else touching his precious daughter. Each Sunday night, when he had to go, was a cruel heartbreak for him. During long minutes, he used to repeat Blueberry Pie he was not abandoning her, to promise her he would think of her every day and will be back next Friday night, even though she was certainly too young to understand what he said. More than everything else, he wanted to take some days-off to stay with her; but Sister Pudding had firmly advised him against doing this.

-For the moment, she had said. "You have to be a model employee, and, maybe, you'll take over the store when the owner will retire".

As for Strawberry Shortcake, she had, at first, found extremely exciting to have a cute baby to take care of. Then, there had been Apple Dumplin's case… she preferred not to think about it. She might be extremely good for following a recipe, she sometimes sadly though, but everything came worse when she got started on something more complex, like raising a child. She had done her best… but she hadn't been able to prevent everything for ending so badly. When Blueberry Muffin had left Strawberryland, Strawberry was seriously wondering if she should approach a child again. Entrusting them her daughter, the flesh of her flesh, was the biggest proof of her confidence in them. And, according to the kind of person Apple Dumplin had become, she was not the right person to be entrusted a baby. If she spoiled everything with Blueberry Pie, the way she had done with Apple Dumplin'… it would be a terrible betrayal for Blueberry Muffin and Huckleberry Pie. All that they wanted was to have a happy family life, especially Huckleberry. What would he say if he learned that his beloved baby girl had turned into a delinquent… because of her? No, she couldn't do that to them. She decided that the best thing to do was to take care of Blueberry Pie the least possible.

Blueberry Pie spent the first three years of her life this way, shunting around from one place to another, her mother studying somewhere in another city to get her Master's Degree and who visited her one week every two months, seeing her father two days per weeks, and the rest of the time feeling like she was too many.

During these three years, Huckleberry Pie had managed to gather enough money for renting his own studio, but his dream was to buy his own house… a house he would never mortgage, this time. When he visited Blueberry Pie, every weekend without exception, he taught her own to fish, they played frisbee with Tom Tom and they dreamt of their future house, when they would be at least gathered.

-In our house, you will have your berry own bedroom, Huckleberry promised.

-Yes, and my bedroom will have purple curtains and a blue carpet, Blueberry Pie added (since she was no longer a baby, she used to sleep in Strawberry Shortcake's guest room, but she did not quite appreciate its red and pink decoration).

-Of course, and a blue and white bedspread.

-I'd like to stick fluorescent stars on my ceiling, to pretend I'm sleeping under the stars.

-Why not? And we'll also have a big garden, in which we will put a swing…

-Will it be big enough to plant fruit trees?

-Yes, an apple tree to make a lot of delicious tarts, and we'll build a hut in one of them…

Sometimes, instead of coming in Strawberryland, Huckleberry Pie invited Blueberry Pie to join him in Green Meadow Village. It was a day of celebration for her: it meant her father had put money aside, and that thy would do "extraordinary" activities, like going to the theater, to the amusement park, or being present at a football match. When Blueberry Pie came, they never forgot to start they day by visiting Sister Pudding. "She's berry nice and brave", her father said. "She did so much for me…. You'll understand everything when you grow up". Those days were like dreams to Blueberry Pie: everything was so perfect, and her father and she only had to eat plenty of popcorn and having fun. When it was time for her to come back in Strawberryland, she always felt asleep out of exhaustion in the train, in her father's arm. The following day, she woke up in Strawberryland, her father was back in Green Meadow Village, and her life returned to normal.

These moments, in which they both planning the life they would have when "everything will be other", were the happiest of Blueberry Pie's life. The rest of the time, when her father was not there, she felt terribly alone. In fact, the reason for which she hardly dared staying with the other Strawberrylanders was that she felt inferior to them, and unworthy of disturbing them. They were already so indulgent to host them, while her parents were both so far from her.

All the more so as everybody seemed so occupied.

Plum Pudding had definitively settled in the Berry Big City, after her healing. Angel Cake had left Strawberryland, too, with the project of founding her own bakery where "people will be able to appreciate her talent". There were only Strawberry Shortcake, Orange Blossom and all the Berrykins, plus every kind of anthropomorphic insects or animals, left. Thanks to the miracles allowed by modern technologies and social networks, Orange Blossom had virtually met other generous people all around the continent, but they all shared a deep indignation against all kind of discriminations; and they had created their own association in order to come to the end of the ones put apart from society. The Mart almost entirely belonged to the Berrykins now, who ruled it by themselves when Orange Blossom was visited by some of her colleagues. They settled petitions, boycotts and solemn march in front of the schools or enterprises that categorically refused to receive Berrykins or prevented them from enrolling for national exams. Orange Blossom sometimes asked Blueberry Pie to help her making banners, who always complied with joy and meticulousness. When she was tracing giant and colorful letter on the streamer, Orange Blossom berry seriously admonish her to be always tolerant with every living being, even if he was extremely different from her, because everyone had inner resource to make a city work. And Blueberry Pie felt important.

Another reason for which Strawberry Shortcake had been so distant with Blueberry Pie was that she had to deal with her own mourn. She could hardly stand the view of Huckleberry Pie playing with his healthy daughter when her own Apple Dumplin' was lost, somewhere, maybe freezing, maybe starving, maybe dead. Apple Dumplin' had disappeared forever. Strawberry had tried to keep all her grief, pain and guilt for herself, to suppress them under a calm and smiling face, but she cried endlessly at night. She felt so alone. So abandon. Did someone even feel the way she was feeling? She needed to talk to someone. Not someone from Strawberryland, of whom she would have to bear compassion every day. She needed someone external, someone frank, someone who would tell her the truth and would not try to spare her, and would make reality even harder to bear. This conversation partner could only be Peanut Butter*. During these three years, he had listened to her, he had sooth her, he had encouraged her in keeping hope and to find an activity that would distract her. "You won't forget your sister", Peanut had said in one of his mails, "But you'll have some hours of intellectual rest". Strawberry Shortcake tried her hand at couture, when she wasn't trying to feed everyone on Strawberryland, and she had thought it was a rather useful activity, now that Raspberry Torte was gone. She had made some pretty little dresses for Blueberry Pie; blue and purple dresses, "Her parents' both favorite colors". If Strawberry Shortcake had been similar to a zombie during the first year, both physically and psychologically, Peanut Butter had reawakened her taste for life, little by little, by visiting her as much as possible. When he was at the Café, Blueberry Pie avoided to enter it: when she was with her father, she hated being disturbed by other people who forced her to share him with them. She guessed it was certainly the same for Strawberry. As Peanut Butter visited her, Strawberry learnt how to have fun, to smile, to laugh again, extremely slowly, until being able to help Peanut Butter, at her turn.

-I think you neglected a little bit your youth hostel while you were with me, she told him once.

-It was not vain, he replied, "Because joy was the only customer I wanted to host, in order to lead it to you".

During the third year, Strawberry Shortcake ventured the desire of helping Peanut Butter with his hostel, saying he had certainly lost his touch during his stay in Strawberryland.

-I'll teach you how I make customers happy in my Café, she had said; and she had multiplied her trips to Big Apple City.

-She's cured of her mourning, at least; that's berry well, Orange Blossom had said.

Blueberry Pie being in her third year, she was now old enough for going to school. The day before the start of her berry first school year, she stood to attention in the Mart, wearing her brand-new school uniform, a grey dress with a white collar, and waited for everybody's vote.

-You're so cute, Strawberry Shortcake had said.

None of her parents was present, but they had both phoned to her the D-Day to wish her good luck, and Strawberry had sent them pictures of little Blueberry wearing her grey dress. She had the weird impression of living again Apple Dumplin' own return to school, four years before; and she was determined to not let Blueberry Pie making the same mistakes.

-At school, she had told her, "You may be confronted with ill-educated other children, that would encourage you in doing wrong things. You won't do bad things you don't want to do, right? Promise me you'll always been a quiet little girl."

In a general way, teachers were berry satisfied with Blueberry Pie. She was a quiet, hard-working schoolgirl. However, they could not understand why she was rather solitary. During the breaks, she never played with the other kindergarteners; she kept to herself, and simply stared at them.

-Why are you like that? Huckleberry Pie asked her, one day. "I'm proud of your good marks, but they are not anything. What prevent you from playing with your classmates?"

-I don't know who I can trust, the little girl admitted at least.

And Huckleberry Pie understood how hard was Blueberry Pie's problem. Who could she pretend to know perfectly? How could she be sure that her acquaintance would never betray her? She was only three years old! And, as for him, he had been himself betrayed by the person who was supposed to be his oldest friend… and more…

He nicely kneeled down, close to his daughter, and gently put his arm around her shoulders.

-Animals, he said. "They are the ones who will always tell you the trust-a quality only few people have. They are uncompromising. At first glance, you can understand if they are happy, sad, or scared. In your mind, why it is said that dogs are man's best friend?"

And Blueberry Pie thought she would enjoy having a best friend, too, to cuddle and with whom she would share her secrets. Unfortunately, it was impossible: Blueberry Pie was host at the Café, and it was not a good idea to demand the presence of a new pet.

-In our berry own house… Huckleberry Pie promised.

When she was not at school, Blueberry Pie had to find her own pastimes. During her free time, she used to settle in the Orange Mart, in the bookstore department, and she devoured every book she could find. It gave her the impression of living all the adventures she could not experience, in Strawberryland, where she hadn't even a small pet to accompany her when her father was not here.

-A true little bookworm, Berrykin Bloom had said. "The worthy successor to her mother."

Blueberry Pie had blushed and chuckled. For her, it was a great compliment: someone created her a filiation with her mother she hardly knew! She was part of a filiation!

But she was not quite sure it was a good thing to be related with her mother. She had heard, once, the Princess Berrykin and Berrykin Bloom talk about her, one day she was picking flowers, hidden behind a bush. She heard first the Princess' voice.

-… you are entirely right: Miss Pie is not happy here. But I know why.

-What could cause her fading away?

-The absence of her mother, of course! The Princess cried, a bit annoyed. "I know how difficult it is to shape a personality when you have no one to guide you, nor to be your model!"

-If I may, your Majesty, Madam Your mother, Mother Earth rest her soul, did not want to let You alone. She had been forced to… against her will, regrettably**. The same thing happened to Miss Muffin. She hadn't had the ability to take care of her daughter… so, she took the most sensible choice, that is to say entrust her to reliable persons.

-I perfectly know that our mothers' both… departures are extremely different. But I insist, we will have exactly the same experience of life. And I think there's nothing more terrible than to be deprived of love… but it is that is going to happen to this poor little girl, entirely because of her mother's fault!

In her bush, Blueberry Pie had frozen. Should she burst out and them her it was wrong? She wanted however listen to the rest of the conversation.

-Miss Blueberry Muffin had certainly been heartbroken. I saw her crying…

-Let's say she got rid of Blueberry Pie, uh? She abandoned her daughter! How would this poor little girl grow up, knowing that her own mother rejected her, straight after her birth? Don't interrupt me, Berrykin Bloom. Blueberry Muffin is a criminal, a criminal who had spoiled irremediably her daughter's life, out of laziness, irresponsibility and negligence, and you won't make me change my mind!

And this is how Blueberry Pie learnt a biased version of the story she was supposed to never hear. And she started to wonder if her parents really loved her.

Of course, the Princess Berrykin would have never made these remarks if she had known Blueberry Pie was listening to them. The Princess had a special affection for this little girl, who was orphan like her, in a way. She had experience herself the pain of being alone, rejected throughout a whole childhood. Yes, they were rather similar. Two motherless children, insufficiently supported by a male presence who was too often absent. Berrykin Bloom had never hidden her the truth about her mother's death, when she was only four years old. "Your late mother is now at the Berrykins' Heaven", he had said, "And thither she will always keep an eye on you." Then, she had been sent as a lodger in a British Berrykin Community where she was supposed to learn the good manners worthy of a crown princess, while Berrykin Bloom was forced to stay in Strawberryland, because of his work; and she had thought that she needed more than looks from her mother. At the time, her American culture had been extremely poorly regarded in this very old, tied to traditions community. The Queen Mother Berrykin had considered, since the beginning, she was an ill-educated pest and not more worthy that her care assistants, and treated her as well. The poor little Princess had to eat in the kitchen, with the servants, and was rarely allowed to be in the company of the Royal Family. Sometimes, she heard the young dauphin asking out loud her female escort if she was really a princess, or just a schemer trying to climb the social ladder by pretending to be the orphan heiress of a foreign community in order to approach their family. The only sources of reassurance she had were Berrykin Bloom's letters. Even if the Princess Berrykin would have learnt anything about etiquette there, she would have denied it, in rebellion against the disdain with which she had been treated.

She could tell for sure no kids deserved to be treated this way. After the fit of anger she had against Berrykin Bloom, she had agreed they must do their best for giving her a happy childhood. The little heiress, Princesses Emerald and Tourmaline, were Blueberry Pie's only playmates in Strawberryland. She found that the other baby Berrykins, who spent their days crafting kites and running everywhere with their new teacher, Berrykin Bonnie, were a little bit too… immature for her. Anyway, both Berrykin Bloom and the Princess approved of this company. Blueberry Pie was a quiet little girl, maybe she was lacking character, but maybe it would get better later. For the moment, she was a good example for the twins. Them, at least, perfectly knew how to give orders. And the twins were also a good example for her, as they shown her how to assert oneself. Everyone was satisfied. Most of the time, the twins decided the game they would play, and Blueberry Pie followed them. She thought that their ideas must be so much better than hers: after all, they were princesses. Sometimes, Berrykin Bloom reminded Emerald and Tourmaline to listen to Blueberry Pie's desires, and to not act like all-powerful and tyrannical sovereigns, but Blueberry Pie herself assured him it was okay. The twins commanded; Blueberry Pie agreed.

To be continued…

*A/N: more information in the 15th chapter.

**A/N: more information in the 35th chapter.