Hey loves! I'm sorry my updates have been slower than usual. I literally had to rewrite this chapter a million times because I kept hating it. Rose is a little OOC in this, especially towards the end.

After Dimitri and I discovered Nevaeh was a spirit user, we went to Adrian. He was the only person we could talk to here and he knew a lot about dream walking. He wasn't enthusiastic about us waking him up so early, but he was still willing to help us.

"I thought children couldn't use spirit, but she just proved that wrong," he said, spreading his arms out on his couch. "Your child is going to have a lot of problems."

"What can we do?" Dimitri asked. Adrian sighed, moving his arms off the couch and leaning in closer with his elbows on his knees.

"Spirit will only affect her if she uses too much. At her age, she won't know how to control it. Dream walking doesn't affect me and it shouldn't affect her either, but healing injuries can. Small injuries like a bruise or a cut won't do much, but let's say someone is on the brink of death and she tries to revive them. That is what will make her crazy."

"What about compulsion?" I asked him. "Avery used compulsion on everyone. Look at how she turned out. She overused everything and became a sadistic monster."

"That won't happen to Nev," Dimitri said. There was no doubt or hesitancy in his voice. "She's not like that. She's kind to people and she has a strong mind."

"I know she does, but...what if the magic consumes her? What if she turns out like Lissa and cuts herself? What if she uses alcohol or drugs to cope? What if she turns out like Avery and becomes evil? Or what if—what if she turns out like Sonya Karp and becomes strigoi?" I was jumping to every bad conclusion. I should have been thinking of ways to help her, but instead, my mind was assuming the worst.

"She likes stuffed animals, right?" Adrian asked. "Maybe that's her way of coping with her feelings. Spirit users' emotions tend to be more heightened than the average moroi, but they all have a different way of coping. Mine isn't ideal, but Nev handles things in a much healthier way than you think. She takes comfort in her toys. Take that as something positive."

"She does like toys," I admitted, "but she'll grow out of them eventually. She won't be cuddling with her stuffed animals when she's a teenager."

"Don't assume too quickly," Adrian advised. "Once we find something to help us, we stick to it—hence why I drink and smoke so much. If Nevaeh needs to hug her teddy bear for the rest of her life, then let that be her outlet. It's a lot better than what others have done."

I remembered what she had mentioned to me and Dimitri in the dream—that the pink room was her happy place. It was a lot better than what other spirit users turned to.

"How do we stop her from using her magic?" Dimitri wondered. "Is it possible for her to use it without even realizing?"

"I don't think so. It takes a lot of effort to use spirit. Lissa took anti-depressants to keep it down, if not keep it to a minimum," Adrian mentioned, pouring himself a glass of bourbon.

"Oh, sure, give anti-depressants to a kid."

Adrian rolled his eyes, taking a sip of his drink before leaning back again, twirling the fancy glass in his hands. "Let her learn other elements. It'll keep her busy with something else throughout the years. She can still live a normal life if she can keep the magic under control."

I put my head in my hands, rubbing my fingers against my forehead. My protective instincts as Nevaeh's mother figure was blooming. "I think we should keep this between the three of us."

"I won't tell anyone," Adrian promised, "but you can't keep this a secret forever. She'll eventually learn things as she grows and the best thing you can do is give her the help she needs. Spirit is never talked about in school which is part of the reason why we struggle so much. We didn't have guidance, but she can. Lissa and I can help educate her a little bit and you can too. We can teach her how to control it, the effects it can have, the darkness, the emotional toll—let her learn everything."

Maybe Adrian's ideas were better than trying to cut off the magic completely. It had been my first thought, but he had a point. Spirit magic was rarely talked about in school. That was part of the reason Adrian and Lissa didn't know how to cope, or how to use it without going overboard. Things were better now, but being educated on the element would have done a great deal of good.

"You can help her?" I asked, sounding more hopeful than before.

"Absolutely," he said confidently. "I know you're worried, but you guys need to have confidence. She's a kid; her actions will reflect how you go about this. Provide her with strength and encouragement."

"Since when did you get all mature and paternal?" Dimitri commented. He sounded intrigued.

Adrian snorted and crossed his ankle over his knee. "I'm anything but paternal. It's just...a lot of bad things have happened recently—to all of us." His expression became more unhappy and I realized he must have been thinking about what had been bothering him recently. "We wouldn't want another spirit user going crazy now."

"No," I agreed, "we wouldn't."

Adrian smiled, but his lips didn't quite reach his eyes. He took another hard sip of his bourbon and placed his now empty glass on the table. I knew what he was thinking about and I wanted to ask him how he was doing, but the topic was sensitive to him.

"Adrian...I know things have been rough for you, and although I don't know what happened, I want you to know that you can always talk about whatever is bothering you." Dimitri's tone was gentle and I could see some kind of heartfelt concern in his eyes as his gaze flickered to Adrian. Those two were a lot closer now and he knew Avery had hurt him.

"Did you tell him?" Adrian asked me, and I responded by shaking my head. His leg started to shake impulsively and I could tell he was nervous as he looked up at Dimitri. "You won't say anything, right?"

"No," Dimitri said. "I just think you have a lot going on in your mind and I want to help you."

"Wow. Dimitri Belikov is being nice to me," Adrian joked. Dimitri rolled his eyes but didn't respond to his comment. "Alright. Would you believe me if I told you a girl forced herself on me against my will?"

Dimitri thought about his words, raising his eyebrows in surprise. "Avery did that to you?"

Adrian nodded. He was holding back a lot of emotions, but behind his mask, I saw shame in his eyes. "It's not like I can report anything. Sexual assault barely exists if it happens to a guy." He was shutting down everything with words like he usually did. He was hurt, but he hid everything behind a brave face.

"That's not true," Dimitri said, leaning forward. "Things like that still happen. It's not something you should feel ashamed of. You're not alone and it doesn't make you any less of a person."

"Thanks," Adrian said, seeming grateful for Dimitri's concern while also wanting to end the conversation. I noticed Adrian always hated being vulnerable, so I quickly intervened.

"Thanks for helping us, Adrian. We should give you some space now."

"Don't mention it, little dhampir. By the way, if you two decide on fucking again, can you please keep it down? I had to shove my head under my pillow to drown out the sound of you screaming Dimitri's name all night."

My cheeks blushed a bright red as I was clouded with embarrassment. Dimitri was much quieter than me in bed, but I was pretty loud. I wondered if anyone else on this floor had heard us.

When we got back to our room, I decided to give Eddie a facetime call to see how he was doing and check in on Nev. When he answered, I was surprised to see him in my dorm. "I was waiting for your call," he said, placing his phone on a table and propping it up against something.

"What are you doing in my dorm?" I asked him. He wasn't alone and I could hear other voices in the background.

"Well, Nevaeh wanted to sleep in your bed, so I guarded her here today. Lissa's here too if you want to say hi."

"Let me see her!" I squealed excitedly. Lissa popped into the frame, sitting down on the couch.

"Rose! I miss you so much already!"

"I miss you too, Liss. I miss all of you."

"Is that Mama?!" I heard in the background. Nevaeh's voice was so cute and baby-like compared to everyone else and it brought a smile to my face in no time. Within seconds, Dimitri was by my side, gluing his eyes to the screen. Nevaeh's face suddenly invaded the whole screen as she peered up close to the camera and giggled.

"Hi," she said innocently. "I miss you!"

"We miss you too," I told her, feeling Dimitri's chin rest on my shoulder as he wrapped an arm around my waist. "Eddie told me you've been sleeping in my room."

"It's more comfy," she stated, moving away to let us see everyone else in the frame. "Oh, and Aunt Lissa reads me bedtime stories."

"Does she now?" I grinned at Lissa through the camera and she shot me a wink. Somewhere behind the camera, I heard Christian's voice but I couldn't hear what he was saying as a text popped up at the top of my screen. It was from Abe and he was telling me to meet him in his room with Dimitri.

"I got one too," Dimitri said, looking down at his phone.

"Hey guys, I uh, need to go. I'll call you back later," I said to Eddie and Lissa.

"Okay, well, I hope everything is okay," Lissa said. I reached through her mind for a moment and discovered she had been quite sad recently without my presence. She worried about me a lot, so I took her anxiety away. There was a bit of a backlash on me, but I tried to push it away.

"I'm fine, Lissa. Believe me, Dimitri's had his eyes on me since we got here."

"Okay," she said, sighing with a light smile. We said our quick goodbyes to everyone else before ending the call. I hopped off of the bed, pulling Dimitri by his hand.

"What do you think my dad wants? It sounds urgent," I told him.

"Well, we're about to find out," Dimitri said with a hint of uncertainty. We quickly headed over to Abe's room and knocked on the door, only briefly nodding at the guardians outside. They knew who we were, so they didn't question us.

When Abe opened the door, I found Mom pacing in the room, her fingers twitching in agitation. "Good thing you're here," he said, gesturing for us to go inside. Dimitri stood at the side, putting on a stoic face while listening carefully.

"What's up?" I asked, turning towards Mom. "And why do you look like you're about to have a panic attack?"

"She's in Pennsylvania," she uttered out, stressfully running a hand through her hair.

"Tasha?" Dimitri asked.

"Yes," she confirmed. "No bank activity, but she was spotted by guardians. She took off in a car with no license plate and there hasn't been another sighting since, but we think she's heading here—and I don't believe she's coming here just to hide. There's no other reason for her to go to this state."

"On top of that, she's not alone. Remember, she's still working with other people who want you, Rose. Their goal might not be to kill you, but they still have the intention of taking you away and using you. It looks like Tasha might just be taking Avery's place," Abe explained, sounding calm and composed despite the worry I saw in his eyes.

"She can't just get in," I mentioned, sitting down on their bed. "This place is highly secured. If she's working with strigoi, they can't go past the wards, and there are tons of guardians occupying the perimeter."

"We don't want to take any chances, Rose. She used magic to set off an explosion at the academy to distract people from her escape. What makes you think she won't do it again?" Mom demanded. I could see the frustration rise in her more and more.

"What are you saying?" I asked, anxious to hear their answer. All the stress with Tasha was making me antsy now and I was starting to get frustrated too.

"It means," Abe sighed, "that we have to move you somewhere else."

I had just finished loading my luggage into the back seat of the SUV Dimitri was about to use to drive us to our new location. I was still feeling unsure about leaving, but I didn't have a choice here. Even Dimitri was following orders, but he agreed to keep me hidden somewhere else.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" I pondered, hopping into the car. Dimitri slipped the key into the ignition to start the vehicle. The other SUV behind us was already ready to go. Four other guardians were going to go with us to guard the place we were going to stay in.

"Court is too high of a target right now," he muttered. "Put your seatbelt on."

I quickly buckled myself in. Dimitri sounded agitated and I knew it was because of the stress on his shoulders, but I couldn't help but think it was because of me too. I was the whole reason we were in this stupid mess. Dimitri spent a lot of time protecting me and taking care of me, but a part of me felt like I was weighing him down. I loved that he cared so much, but I also felt guilty for it.

"Rose?" he said, taking his eyes off the road for a second. He must have sensed my unusual quietness and the way I was sitting—legs leaning closer to my door, closed tightly together and shaking while my arms folded over each other. It almost looked like I was hugging myself, and perhaps I was.

"Yeah?" I answered timidly. His eyes softened.

"Are you alright?" he asked, sounding much softer now than before.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just a bit tired," I lied. I stayed quiet for the rest of the ride until we arrived at our destination. It was an average looking house in the middle of the woods, surrounded by high trees. I could see why they'd bring us to a place that looked so...normal. From the outside, this looked like it could have been anyone's home.

Dimitri parked in the driveway and shut off the car. He briefly checked his rear-view mirror to check on the other vehicle behind us before stepping out. I stepped out right after him, fumbling my fingers around while he took our luggage out of the back seat. I helped him grab our bags and we walked up to the house, stopping at the front. Dimitri pulled out a set of keys to unlock the front door, poking his head in to make sure there were no threats inside. The other SUV that had been behind us parked beside our vehicle and the four guardians took their belongings out.

"I'm going to check the whole house," Dimitri said. I nodded and decided to take a small tour of the main floor, finding that it was mostly empty except for basic furniture. There no portraits on the walls and there was dust growing in some areas. It was obvious that nobody lived here.

I decided to call Lissa back as I could feel her becoming more anxious through the bond again. She picked up almost immediately. "Rose? Is everything okay? Adrian told me you had to move."

"Yeah, I did. We're in a safe house surrounded by wards in the middle of nowhere, about an hour away from court. Tasha's in Pennsylvania and my parents think she might still be targeting me."

"Oh god." I heard Lissa's breathing start to pick up on the other end. "What if something happens? What if she tries to hurt you or even Dimitri? I want to help you, but I'm so far away and I feel horrible."

"Lissa, relax," I told her, taking more of her anxiety away through our bond. "I don't want you to feel bad about anything. If you could just give Nevaeh company, that would help a lot. She likes being around you."

"Yeah, she does. She's a real sweetheart," she commented. I smiled for a moment, but it was gone when I felt her anxiety rise again. "I just—I can't lose you. I never really told you this, but when you were taken, I felt like I was going crazy. I don't know if it's because of the bond, but the thought of anything seriously bad happening to you made my mind spin."

That was probably why she was so down while I was gone. She trusted Dimitri to protect me, but she always had a feeling in her mind that something terrible was going to happen. It was probably another side effect of spirit and I wondered if Nevaeh would end up dealing with the same thing.

"Don't worry about me, Liss. Just keep Nev busy whenever you have time. I'm fine here."

"I will," she promised me. "I hope you're okay. Keep me updated."

We hung up soon after that, and I took the last remnants of anxiety away from her. I felt the familiar backlash and took a few deep breaths, gripping the kitchen counter to calm myself down. I knew I wasn't supposed to take too much, but I wanted Lissa to feel better. With me being totally useless in this situation, it was the least I could do.

By the time Dimitri and I were getting ready for bed, I was feeling even more agitated. I was beginning to think taking away Lissa's anxiety was a bad idea. Dimitri had to put up with my attitude.

"What's wrong?" he asked me as I tossed my clothes on the floor.

"Nothing," I muttered, slipping one of his T-shirts on and a comfortable pair of boy shorts. When Dimitri kept looking at me, I sighed and told him how I was really feeling. "I feel useless, Dimitri. Everyone here is risking their ass for me, including you. My parents are suffering, you're stressed out, and my friends are worried because of me. All because I got fucking kidnapped."

"That was out of your control, Roza," Dimitri said. "Nobody blames you for that."

"I know, but I should be doing more to help. I'm the one who got everyone involved in this mess and I should be the one taking care of the situation myself."

Dimitri shut his eyes and leaned against the wall, letting out a heavy sigh. "When are you going to realize it wasn't your fault? For the love of God, you were kidnapped, forced into a sex trafficking ring, and turned into a hybrid against your will. There was nothing you could have done."

"But I'm still useless! I should be hunting Tasha myself, not putting the rest of you at risk."

"No, you definitely shouldn't—"

"Why not?" I cut him off. I felt a wave of unnatural anger start to rise and I had no idea where it was coming from. Maybe I had taken too much anxiety away from Lissa earlier and it was coming out through anger now. I should have stopped talking before I said something I might have regretted, but my impulses made me keep going. "Is it because I'm weak? Because I can't take care of myself?"

"No, that's not what I—"

"Is it because you have so much more power over me as my guardian?"

"Rose—"

"Or is it because I'm some powerless, submissive pet you want to control so much?"

I blew it. I really blew it. I should have stopped talking the second I realized my words were out of control. I didn't mean what I said. I didn't mean it at all and I didn't even realize how severe they were until they came out. I covered my mouth when the realization dawned on me and I instantly felt guilty.

Dimitri was speechless, his eyebrows scrunching up in confusion. He didn't shoot back any angry comments at my outburst. He didn't even look angry. He looked hurt. Even if I hadn't seen his face, the hurt was obvious in his voice. "Is that really how you feel? I make you feel powerless?"

I shut my eyes and put a hand over my face, unable to look him in the eyes. I didn't mean what I said earlier, but I had said it anyways—and I had hurt him too.

"Am I too controlling?" he asked, sounding genuinely concerned. That dom/sub dynamic we had was very special to us and I might have just unintentionally thrown it out the window.

"No, you're not...I shouldn't have..." I trailed off. "I don't know why that came out of my mouth."

Dimitri still looked thoughtful, but he silenced any words he might have said. Great, now I'd made him feel like shit about himself. The truth was, I didn't feel powerless at all in our relationship and Dimitri was anything but a control freak. Sure, he was a little overprotective, but I wasn't opposed to that. He had made it clear several times that if I didn't want to be his sub, he wouldn't force me—not that I ever had the intention of stopping. He had the utmost respect for me and he treated my wishes like a sacrosanct.

"I didn't—I didn't mean it," I stammered, feeling my earlier anger turn into regret and sadness.

Dimitri grabbed his phone from the nightstand along with his water bottle. It didn't look like he was going to sleep here and I started to worry. Oh god, what had I done? "Where are you going?"

"Outside to guard the house. I'll still be here," he said softly. He looked like he was trying to calm my nerves, but his words did the exact opposite. He was doing what a guardian would do despite there being four other guardians switching shifts. He didn't need to guard the outside perimeter. If I hadn't said what I said, he would have stayed here.

"Dimitri, wait—"

"You should get some sleep," he said. Before he closed the door, he spoke again. "Rose...if being submissive makes you feel powerless, maybe we shouldn't keep that in our relationship anymore."

He closed the door and I was left there wondering what the hell had just happened. Did I just ruin things? On top of his earlier stress from worrying about me, I had made him feel even worse by implying that he was a control freak—which he wasn't. I was an idiot and I had taken my anger out on him.

Dimitri had been sleeping with me for a while now and I realized I was going to be on my own tonight. I hadn't gotten any severe nightmares with him and perhaps I relied on him too much for that.

I crawled into the empty bed, bringing my knees up to my chest and clutching Dimitri's shirt against me. As I stared out at the rising sun through the large bedroom window, I realized this would be my first time sleeping on my own in two weeks.

I know I left this off a little rough with Rose and Dimitri, but I promise you that won't last. I just wanted to add the spirit backlashes that she can still get from her bond with Lissa. Let me know what you thought!