"Gin, do you know where Hermione is?" Harry asked the girl as he leaned on the doorframe of the room Hermione shared with Ginny.
"Library, probably. She spends more time there than in her own bed." Ginny said without batting an eye. "Why?"
"I need help with my potions essay."
"Don't you ever get tired of using her?" Ginny snarked at him.
A look of confusion and shock plastered over Harry's face. "What do you mean?"
"Harry, how many times have you talked to Hermione over the past few weeks? And before you answer that, how many of those times were not about you and your selfish needs?" Ginny looked up from her book to see Harry's furrowed brows. He was about to ask her what she was on about, before she stopped him. "Harry, you and Ron are shitty friends. You use Hermione for her smarts, but don't see her as an actual human being. She's been moping about for weeks, not eating meals with us, spending time with Slytherins. All probably because you guys make her feel replaceable."
"That's absurd! We love Hermione. She's just been busy and stressed and-" Harry stopped himself before he continued, realizing that Ginny might be right. A pit of guilt settled in his stomach. He made eye contact with Ginny, who in return cocked her brow.
Harry rushed out of the dormitory, not bothering to say goodbye to Ginny. His thoughts were running through his mind. He wasn't paying attention to all the signs, but Hermione was pulling away from him. She was pulling away from Ron too, from all of them. He hadn't even noticed the difference in her behaviour. Of course he noticed her absence, but he just chalked it up to school work. It wasn't the first time she had shut herself off to study, but it was usually only for the 2 weeks before end-of-year exams. But this time it was going on for months.
He went looking for Hermione. Sure enough, she was sitting at the back of the library crouched over her books. Harry walked over to Hermione and stood in front of her, thinking of what he should say to her.
"Did you want something, or are you going to keep staring at me?" Hermione said without looking up from her books.
"Hermione, I'm sorry." Harry blurted out as he sat down in the chair next to his friend. His words caught Hermione's attention. She looked up at him with furrowed brows.
"What on earth are you talking about, Harry?"
"I've been a terrible friend to you. You're my friend no matter what. I'm sorry if I've ever made you feel as if I use you for your mind, which is brilliant by the way, because-" Harry's ramble was cut short by Hermione's soft chuckle.
"Harry, don't be silly. You're my best friend. If I felt used I'd tell you about it. I'm happy to help you. Don't worry about it." She softly put a reassuring hand on Harry's.
"Really? Well that's a relief." Harry sighed, but quickly frowned again. "Why have you been so distant then?"
"What? That's absurd. I haven't been distant." Hermione replied.
"'Mione, you haven't been hanging out with us, you've befriended people you used to hate, Ginny says you're always in a sour mood. Me and Ron never see you anymore, not even at meals! If it's not my fault, why have you been this way?" Harry exclaimed, voice dripping with genuine concern. Hermione pursed her lips. She couldn't believe her behaviour was that noticeable. Especially to Harry, he usually wasn't that attentive.
"There's no conspiracy, Harry. Thank you for your concern, but I've just been busy and stressed. No big deal. And as for the new friends, I have never hated Blaise. He's always been nice to me and his grades almost match mine. He motivates me to work harder, but you're my best friend. You and Ron."
"Are you sure?" Harry asked, earning a nod from Hermione. "Okay, then. Are you coming to dinner?"
"It's a bit early and I still have a lot of work to do. Go on without me. I'll see you later." Hermione ushered.
"But I haven't seen you at dinner in a week. Maybe more. I don't even remember the last time I've seen you at a meal."
"Don't worry, Harry. The kitchen always has some leftovers that I get. I promise I'll come tomorrow." Hermione shot him a smile and picked up her quill.
"I'm holding you to that!" Harry said as he placed a kiss on her head before leaving the library.
The moment he left Hermione groaned. She was now obligated to come to dinner tomorrow. She could've spent that time finishing her potions essay. Dinner meant staying up until at least 4 AM, and at that point, what would the point of sleeping even be. Another all-nighter.
Hermione woke up the next day happy and proud. She ended up finishing earlier than she thought and managed to get in 3 hours of sleep. Sadly, this was one of her good days. Usually she'd forego sleep altogether, and when she didn't she went to sleep with a pit in her stomach because she never got her work done.
It was Saturday. Any other student who worked as hard as her would've slept through the whole weekend, but Hermione found it pointless to sleep through life. A silly dream didn't compare to productive working. She got up and took a shower. Hermione was awake before most of her dormmates, them taking the weekend as a chance to sleep in and be lazy. She had the bathroom to herself and figured she could take a long, relaxing bath instead of just a quick shower. After how fast she finished all her work the previous night, and now being ahead of her schedule, she felt she deserved it. She had the time anyway.
Hermione drew a nice hot bath and climbed in. Today she was free. Tomorrow she would be back to killing herself over school, but today she had time. She promised she would spend the day with her friends, feeling awful for neglecting them for so long. Though they wouldn't be up for hours. And breakfast wouldn't start in a while either. Suddenly an idea popped into Hermione's head. She hadn't gone for a run in ages! That was why her foul mood had been so noticeable to Harry and Ron. She picked up the sport as a stress reliever, but hadn't had the time to run in ages. She quickly picked up a towel and wrapped herself in it. Then she drained the bath and headed back to her room where she put on a sports bra and leggings. She already felt so much better. Quickly, she stretched and then headed to the Hogwarts grounds. Not a lot of people explored the areas outside of the main building of Hogwarts. Hermione could run uninterrupted.
The moment her legs started moving and her eyes watched the familiar trail, all the weight was lifted from her chest. She felt free. The sense of euphoria was like she was on drugs after being sober for so long. Her happiness was short lived when she heard something move in the bushes beside her. Panic picked up slightly and her curiosity overcame her. She stopped running and caught her breath before shuffling through the bushes. On the other side was a lake she never knew was there. In it was a body. Hermione's blood ran cold for a second before the person came back to the surface, gasping for air. She got a little closer to the lake, garnering the attention of the boy swimming in it, causing him to turn around. Their eyes locked.
"Malfoy." Hermione said breathlessly. Last time she saw him he was pretty messed up. He even threw up on her. He looked much different now. His hair was wet, eyes weren't as red, his face looked awake. Not to mention his attire: there was none. Hermione found her eyes traveling away from his eyes to his body. He was lean and had very defined muscles and abs. Hermione subconsciously bit her lower lip ever so slightly, before grunting and shaking her head, and her thoughts about her childhood bully's body out too. "What are you doing here at the crack of dawn?"
"Reading," Draco said sarcastically. "What does it look like, Granger?"
Hermione rolled her eyes. "Why are you swimming here so early?"
"Just to clear my head. Do you mind? The point was to be alone." Draco snapped impatiently. It slightly hurt Hermione's feelings. She couldn't grasp why he would be so short with her. After all, she took care of him when he was too drunk to even speak coherently.
"Right. I'll leave you be." Hermione muttered as she turned to climb back to the other side of the bushes.
On her way back to the dorms, her anger only grew. He could've at least apologized for ruining her favorite skirt. She didn't understand why that small interaction with Draco would put such a dent in her mood, but tried to put it aside for her day with Ron and Harry.
When she got back to the dorms a few more students were up, but she knew it would still be a while before either of her friends would be awake. She decided to curl up with one of her favorite muggle books, call me by your name, in the common room while she waited. It would be the first time she had pleasure read in so long. By the time Harry and Ron came downstairs for breakfast, Hermione had already finished the book. The boys were shocked to see Hermione sitting there, waiting for them. Especially since she wasn't even doing schoolwork.
"Harry! Ron!" Hermione exclaimed as she put her book down and pulled them both into a hug, which the boys returned instantly.
"Blimey, Hermione," Ron muffled into her neck. "I feel like I haven't seen you in years!"
"I know. I'm so sorry." Hermione pulled back from their hug. "But I promise I've made free time for us today. We can spend the whole day together."
"That's great, 'Mione. We really missed you." Harry said as he squeezed her shoulder. "Come on, now. I'm starving."
The trio spent the whole day catching up. They even decided to have a picnic on the school grounds for lunch. Later in the afternoon they went to Hagrid's cot where they had some tea. Hermione beamed the whole day, forgetting her earlier interaction with Draco completely. She had missed spending time with Harry and Ron. It was nothing like her friendship with Blaise. They had saved each others' lives and they had so much history. She knew them inside and out. Every little thing, every little secret. She quickly questioned if they knew her remotely as well, but then pushed the thought away. I just notice all the little things. Neither Harry or Ron have that quality. It's my own fault. She thought to herself.
When it was time for dinner the trio walked into the dining hall together. Across the room sat Draco Malfoy. He glanced at the group the moment they came inside. None of them looked back or even noticed the boy looking intensely at them. Draco gripped his fork tighter and clenched his jaw.
"What's the matter?" Theo asked him.
"Nothing's the matter. This food is horrid." Draco replied nonchalantly.
"Ah, it's Granger then I take it."
"Are you fucking mental? Why on earth would I be thinking about Granger?" Draco exclaimed, faking disgust. He stopped being a dick to her face, but it would be too much if he suddenly started acting like her best friend.
"You're embarrassed, aren't you?" Draco shot Theo a confused glance. "For the way you behaved that night. She saw you at your lowest."
Draco scoffed and told Theo to drop the subject, but deep inside he knew his friend was right. For some reason he cared how Hermione perceived him. It didn't help that he couldn't remember anything that happened that night. He worried he might have said something he shouldn't have. He feared she knew one of his secrets, which he had many of.
At the Gryffindor table the conversations were much lighter. Hermione was talking to her other year mates about Viktor Krum of all people. It had been a while since Hermione had thought of her ex-boyfriend. She bore no ill will against him. They ended things on friendly terms and still occasionally owled each other. The Patil twins brought up one of his latest wins in Quidditch, which sparked a conversation about Hermione's first boyfriend. The girl made a note to herself to write him a letter congratulating him.
Ron was sitting back in grumpily as the girls next to him went on and on about his newfound enemy. Harry was chuckling slightly to himself at Ron's attitude. His thoughts were interrupted by Neville's belated arrival.
"Why are you so late?" Ron said, desperate to change the conversation.
"Got caught up writing my Herbology essay. I forgot about it and had to finish it last minute." Neville explained as he grabbed a plate. Hermione felt her blood run cold.
"Wh- what essay?" She shakily stuttered out.
"Sprout assigned it a month ago. You probably forgot you even finished it." Ron joked, but was incorrect. Hermione hadn't even begun the essay. The conversation continued, but Hermione was absent from it. Her anxiety spiked and she felt her breath shorten. It became harder and harder to breathe. She hastily excused herself and left the dining hall. She practically ran to her room, tears streaming down her face. When she got to her room she slammed the door and started pacing around it. She was cursing at herself, wishing it was possible to hex oneself. Hermione screamed out in frustration and collapsed on the ground. She bawled her hands into fists and hit her head a couple times, wanting to punish herself for her forgetfulness. She made her way into the bathroom and started into the huge mirror, without hesitation she slammed her fist right into it, the force was enough to shatter it completely. Hermione huffed and took a few collective breaths. She needed to calm down. When her breathing had evened out she got her wand and fixed the mirror. Her hand was completely bloodied. Though she hadn't learned any healing spells at school, she tutored herself as an extracurricular on it. She knew she could fix her hand with a swift flick of the wand, but she didn't. Instead she cleaned it off and wrapped it in a cloth. It stung her, and probably still would for the next week or so. I'm not advanced enough to heal myself. I haven't practiced enough. She told herself, knowing full well she was capable enough to fix her hand.
She walked back into her room. Her anxiety attack was over and tears had dried, though her face still looked worn out. She was too tired to stress about anything else, so she decided to just change into her pajamas. She was about to turn in for the night when she noticed a carefully wrapped package. She picked it up. It was light and felt soft. There was a note attached which read
To replace the one's I ruined. Let me know if you need them tailored.
DM.
Confused, she unwrapped the package. Inside she found a brand new skirt, dress shirt and a small necklace. She realized Draco was talking about the night he threw up on her. Even in her wary state, this managed to make her crack a small soft smile. She inspected the skirt and shirt first. They felt much more expensive than the one's Hogwarts provided. Draco must've bought them elsewhere. The material was soft and nice. The stitching was careful and perfect. They were now probably the most expensive thing she owned. She couldn't imagine wearing something that cost more than a modern day care probably.
Then Hermione picked up the necklace. She furrowed her brows, seeing as she didn't wear any jewelry so there was nothing to ruin. She didn't understand it, but the necklace was truly beautiful. Hermione never liked chunky, flashy things. This necklace was the opposite. Simple. But there was beauty in its simplicity. It was a thin and simple gold chain, with a small little, but no doubt expensive, emerald pendant. It was a beautiful deep green charm and clearer than a summer's day sky.
Hermione's fingers traced it, but eventually she put it down. She couldn't accept something so big, for just a small act of kindness on her part. She knew Draco could easily afford to spend so much money, but she'd rather have him donate it to charity or release his elves. She didn't need anything.