Today was the day Hermione, Pansy, Blaise and Draco were going to hand in their assignment. Hermione got up extra early to check their project for the last time. She spent the whole night going over and over the paper, making unnecessary corrections, stressing out about nothing.

She only slept for one hour. Her tired state was starting to become her only state. A rested Hermione was a rare occurrence. But at least her exhaustion was bringing her to breakfast for coffee at least 3 times a week. Sometimes she'd nibble on a piece of fruit. Her more frequent appearance at breakfast had assuaged Ron and Harry's worry, even though they still haven't been talking to her. Harry felt it had gone on long enough, but Ron was still rightfully pissed. At the end of the day Hermione was the one in the wrong, so she should apologize. At least that's what Ron had been saying.

The fact that Ron and Hermione were fighting meant she had to spend christmas alone. Sure, she had her parents, but they were going on a romantic getaway. Her parents met on christmas day. This year it would be their 20 year anniversary, so they were going to celebrate. They felt guilty for leaving Hermione alone, but she reassured them she'd be fine. She didn't want them to give up their trip for her.

Ginny had told Hermione she should come anyways, but Hermione didn't want to endure the high tensions for 2 weeks. Besides, if she was alone she could spend the whole day studying without interruptions.

Hermione was the first in the Transfiguration classroom. Blaise, Draco and Pansy walked in together. Pansy shot her a nasty look, before sitting in the seat in front of her. Blaise took the seat next to Pansy and Draco sat down next to Hermione.

"Ello Hermione." Blaise greeted. Hermione shot him a warm smile. Draco didn't greet her at all.

"Finally! Today is the last day I have to breathe the same air as you, mudblood." Pansy sighed.

"Pansy!" Blaise scowled.

"Don't think I'm not just as excited." Hermione muttered. The word 'mudblood' didn't hurt her anymore. What did hurt, was that Draco didn't blink at Pansy's insult. At least Blaise had the decency to scowl her.

"What do you have to complain about? You should be happy you get to breathe the same air as us!" Pansy retorted.

"Oh please, Pansy. Nobody gives a shit about blood status but you anymore. Grow the fuck up!" Hermione was starting to get angry at Pansy's persistent insults.

"Oh really? Hermione people might say they don't care, they can act like they don't care, but trust me they do. You don't see anyone telling their parents about you, inviting you for the holidays, wanting to spend time with you outside of school, courting you? At the end of the day, no one here wants you, not truly anyways." Hermione was used to the mudblood comments, but this was personal. What made it worse was that it was true. Hermione had been lying to herself. Blaise, Theo and Draco weren't her friends. The latter 2 barely even acted like they were. They just said it, without any meaning behind it. Blaise was nice enough, but Hermione knew he wasn't about to tell his mother about his new friend. Theo was friendly to everyone, and Draco barely acknowledged her. She was their friend, but they weren't hers. The silence Draco wore only proved her theory.

"Hermione, that's not true! If I were straight I would totally court you, and besides-" Blaise started defending her, but Hermione didn't want to hear it, nor did she want Pansy to see her cry. She got up and ran out of the classroom, not hearing the rest of Blaise's speech.

Hermione ran to the bathroom, ignoring McGonaggall's (who ended up giving Pansy detention after Blaise snitched) call for her. Again, she locked herself in one of the stalls, wrapping her arms around herself so tight it hurt. It hurt more when she started digging her nails into her arms, but it also made it better. Subconsciously realizing that, she reached under her shirt and started painfully scratching herself. When she finally caught herself doing it, she stopped immediately. She furrowed her brows, not understanding why she did it so aggressively. It confused her more why it felt so good.

She wiped her tears and picked herself up. After splashing some water on her face, she exited the bathroom to her next class: potions. Of course, the only available seat was next to Draco. Without sparing him another glance, she sat down, opening her books and darting to start writing notes.

Draco felt bad for what happened with Pansy during the first period. He felt guilty for not saying anything too. Hermione didn't seem to mind though. She would've said something if it bothered her. At least that's what Draco figured.

"Partner up with the person sitting next to you! You have this period to write a project plan on making anti-paralysis potion. Whisper!" Snape bellowed.

"Do you know what page paralysis is on?" Draco asked Hermione, who ignored him. He looked over her shoulder and saw the page number, getting his answer anyways. "What's got your knickers in a bunch?"

"I don't think you want to be heard talking about my knickers. Who knows, someone might get the wrong idea. Maybe you shouldn't be seen talking to me at all." Hermione angrily spat at him. Draco's guilt intensified. He understood her anger. After all, he did ignore her when they weren't alone. His guilt transferred into silence, angering Hermione more. "I mean seriously. I saved your life and kept your secret. For fucks sake. You won't even talk or acknowledge my existence unless we're alone, even though you and I both know nobody knows you better than I do." He knew what she was saying was true. She was right. He had been treating her like shit, even though she had been nothing but nice to him.

"You're right. I'm sorry."

"'I'm sorry'? You can take your 'sorry' and shove it up your ass, Malfoy. I don't need it." Hermione retorted.

"What do you need? What can I do?" Draco asked.

"There's nothing you can do! You can't change who you are. Your morals and twisted values. I can't change who I am. My blood status, or the fact that my very existence embarrasses you!" You could hear the hurt dripping in Hermione's voice, and the pain in her eyes made it that much worse. Draco didn't say anything after that.

During lunch Hermione sat in the courtyard. There were a few kids who ate their lunch outside so she wasn't exactly alone. Once in a while Blaise would join her and they'd sit together. He always brought her some lunch too. At this point, Hermione was relying on the people around her to keep her fed. God knows how she was going to spend 2 weeks alone.

She was sitting on a bench, the sun was radiating on her face while Hermione read a book. Even though it was in the middle of winter, the sun warmed her, well she was warmer than she usually would be. Lately she was cold all the time.

The warmth ended abruptly when a shadow came over. Hermione looked up to see Draco standing over her.

"I'm not embarrassed." Draco said as he sat down across Hermione. He handed her a sandwich as he dug into his. Hermione put her book down and picked up the sandwich.

"Thank you." She said. They spent the rest of lunch in silence. The pair got a few odd glances, but they both shrugged it off. Hermione smiled when they were finished, although she felt a bit nauseous.