Chapter 3: Aches

By: castawaycal

The salve worked wonders.

Orihime wondered if there was more to the balm than just a combination of medicinal plants. If possible, she would try to save enough to last her through her escape. She glanced over to the barred window by the bed. Nineteen scraps of cloth lied there - nineteen days since she was taken here.

Although Orihime was always an optimist, she knew it was dangerous to think that her escape would go exactly as she wished. There were hundreds of Arrancar in Las Noches, dozens tasked specifically to guard her. Beyond that, the Espada were always on the lookout. Ulquiorra visited her room twice a day, and when they trained, he never once left her alone.

The most worrisome issue, however, was finding a way to go back to the human realm. When Ulquiorra had brought her here, he summoned a dark portal - similar to the one she and her friends took to Soul Society. She had no idea how to do such a thing.

But she had to remain hopeful. That was all she had here, anyways. No friends or allies, only herself.

Now that her body was back to normal, she knew Ulquiorra would be arriving earlier than he did on her days of rest. It was impossible to tell time here, but the longer she spent in Hueco Mundo, the more she was becoming accustomed to the endless night. A world unbound by something as trivial as minutes and seconds.

She knew Ulquiorra was early, however, because she was still sleepy before his usual three knocks sounded against the door and he entered.

The emerald-eyed Espada stayed near the door, waiting for her to rise on her own. That was their routine these days. He would say nothing, and she would apparently have to read his mind and do his bidding. Feeling this kind of annoyance was foreign to Orihime, usually she was patient and understanding. Lately, anything Ulquiorra did made her want to pull her hair out.

It wasn't anything personal, she realized quickly. It was simply that he was the only person she was ever around. All of her frustrations and fears about this place would have to come through in her feelings towards him.

"I'm hungry," she said bluntly after noticing he hadn't brought any food.

He raised his eyebrows, amused by her unusual statement. "My apologies. The cooks aren't awake yet."

She sat up and crossed her arms. "Then maybe we shouldn't start training so early."

He was silent. She supposed that meant no.

With a sigh, she got up. "At least let me change before you arrive."

He looked her up and down. "What you're wearing now will suffice."

She looked down at the white gown she was wearing. "It will not."

Really, truly, she had a death wish.

That same amusement gleamed in his eyes. "Have I offended you recently?"

Orihime shrugged and lifted up the shirt and pants that she intended to wear. He looked at them, seeming to get her message, and turned to look at the wall. He had surprisingly good manners - for some reason it made her want to laugh.

She changed quickly and tied her hair back. "Okay, I'm ready."

He turned back around and watched her carefully. She was acting strange, she had to admit, but she didn't think it would warrant an actual reaction out of him.

Ulquiorra proved her right as he then opened the door of her room and motioned for her to follow. She obeyed and they walked out into the hall. But before they could get any further, they were stopped by a face she hadn't seen in weeks.

"You're up early," Grimmjow said to Ulquiorra before looking further back to see Orihime. "Hmm, so it's another training day."

Ulquiorra nodded. "Is there something you need, Grimmjow?"

The cerulean-haired Espada just chuckled softly, his gaze still pointed towards Orihime. "Just passing through, don't mind me." He waved his hand to show his indifference and continued walking in the opposite direction.

He was about to pass her until he stopped suddenly and grabbed her arm. Orihime froze, the memory of how he had hurt Ichigo so drastically the first time they met flashed in her mind. She didn't dare look him in the eye, not after she had healed the very arm that would undoubtedly be used against the people she held dear.

She braced herself for whatever he planned to do, but he released her arm after noticing her reaction. His head lowered and he averted his gaze away from hers.

"Thank you," Grimmjow said. "For my arm."

With that, he left, and Orihime was left feeling relieved and surprised. Her shoulders sagged a bit.

Grimmjow… thanking her? The idea of that had never even crossed her mind. As soon as she'd healed his arm, he used it to kill the Espada who'd replaced him - all with a smile on his face. That rage, that crazed hunger, it was something she could never attribute to a person who would thank someone else. Watching that occur by her own abilities was a curse, she realized back then, it was a curse for her to have the powers she did and for them to be used for such horrible acts.

The Espada were deadly, heartless creatures. Or were they? Orihime could never decide on one or the other. They had hurt her friends countless times, but was that simply because they were obeying orders from Aizen? If left alone, would they wreak such havoc?

She wanted to believe they could be good. For selfish reasons, perhaps. Nevertheless, Grimmjow's gratitude echoed in her mind. He had said them with such care, as if he was worried about how she would react to them. Orihime shook her head. She couldn't get distracted by these feelings.

She had been so deep in thought that she hadn't noticed they were already at the Eastern Grounds. Ulquiorra opened the massive doors and they entered. As soon as she stepped foot onto the marble floors, she noticed a small figure lying on the ground. She walked further in and realized that it was a small animal, one that had a hollow mask covering its head and face.

Without thinking, Orihime gasped and crouched down over it. "Soten Kisshun," she commanded quickly, and the orange shield appeared over the animal.

To think there were creatures here besides hollows and Arrancars of human origin. She looked with concern at the animal that resembled a small dog, hoping to see it move.

"Please," she whispered to herself. The light from Soten Kisshun flared.

Seconds passed and the animal was still lying lifeless on the ground. Urgency began to pile up and Orihime tried to conjure the reiatsu she had been saving these past few days. In a burst of energy, she saw fragments of the injured dog restore themselves into its chest. She let out a breath she didn't realize she was holding and kept the orange light steady.

The dog's eyes flickered underneath its lids and within moments it was awake and yapping.

Orihime released Soten Kisshun and slumped down in relief. The hollow animal jumped into her lap, licking at her hands as if to show its gratitude.

"Incredible."

Orihime jumped, having forgotten Ulquiorra was still standing there. She set the dog down gently and turned to look at him.

"You restored life," he said simply, staring at the dog as it pranced around the room, showing no signs of having been dead just a few minutes ago.

Orihime looked back down at her hands, surprised at herself. "I restored life," she repeated quietly.

Ulquiorra knelt down in front of her. "How do you feel?"

She knew he didn't mean it like that, but the thought of someone even caring for her made her want to cry. Swallowing the thought, she managed to get out, "Fine."

He watched her carefully, as he always did. "You seem strange. Was the restoration very taxing?"

Orihime shook her head. "I'm a little tired but nothing like I was the other day."

Ulquiorra said nothing for a moment, as if disbelieving her words.

"Woman, if you lie to me there will be consequences."

Her eyes traveled back to his. "I'm not lying." She wasn't, she really was fine. Physically.

She couldn't find it in herself to avert his gaze. Something about how unfaltering Ulquiorra's eyes were, how it seemed like he could see everything about her, it made her thoughts linger back to his gentle tone earlier. She knew she was clinging onto the smallest show of concern like it was as valuable as a proclamation of love, but she couldn't help it. Weeks without her loved ones near felt like eons. She was deprived, aching and desperate for anyone to extend a hand to her.

Had she always been this weak? This dependent on others?

Even now, his eyes bore into hers like her thoughts were written out. A wave of emotion crashed into her as she felt tears prick at the corners of her eyes.

Stop. Please, don't let me cry in front of him.

But it was too late. The tears streamed down her eyes as everything she felt since she arrived in Hueco Mundo came crashing to the surface. Her loneliness, her hopes and their futility, her friends' betrayal and her own.

She reached up to wipe the tears away before he could berate her, but she froze at the feeling of his touch against her face. He touched a tear that had begun to stream down her cheek, his fingers barely grazing her skin.

"Why are you… crying?" Ulquiorra asked, as if he had never spoken the word before. He looked genuinely confused, which only made Orihime's heart tighten further.

"It's nothing," she managed to get out. "I'm fine."

Ulquiorra dropped his hand like he'd just realized it was there. "I told you there would be consequences if you lie."

Orihime furiously wiped her eyes, demanding herself to regain her composure. But the more she demanded, the more she wanted to cry. There were no words she could say now, only emotions that poured out of her without guidance.

"Was it something I did? If so, I apologize."

She needed him to stop. Stop using the words of her human friends so lightly. Stop acting like he actually cared.

No, that's not what she really meant. She was just scared, scared that he could actually possess human emotions. Because that would mean she couldn't hurt him, or any of the other Espada. Not when they were capable of being so much more than hollows.

And then she realized why Grimmjow's thanks had affected her so greatly. Why escaping here may not be as possible as she hoped.

"Tell me," she said after a long while. Her sobs had subsided and she was beginning to think clearly again. "Why do you follow Aizen? How can you remain loyal to someone who uses you as a pawn?"

Ulquiorra didn't react to her question as much as she expected. Almost as if he had his answer memorized, branded into his own mind to convince himself of it. "Because he made me who I am. The only things I can feel are loyalty to the one who created me."

"Ulquiorra," she said. His name felt strange coming out of her mouth. "Do you believe you have a heart?"

This time he seemed taken aback. "A heart? I would not possess something so human-like."

Orihime closed her eyes and her head dropped slightly. "I see."

They were both quiet for a moment before he finally spoke again. "I cannot have a heart. But sometimes I find myself wondering about the world beyond hollows and Aizen. I wonder about people like you."

She looked back up at him, her eyes so full of remorse and something else. "I see," she repeated.

Then, he suddenly stood. Looking back down at her and then away again, he said, "Head back to your room to rest. I expect to train again tomorrow as well."

With that, he left the room, leaving Orihime alone.

The small dog from earlier came back to her, licking at her hands. She picked up the small creature and held it close to herself. Her eyes were dry, but she could still feel her heart crying out.

Hollows weren't creatures to be pitied. Nor were they emotionless monsters whose only thoughts consisted of killing and death. No matter how much she wanted to antagonize them, she could do it no longer. Things weren't black and white anymore.

What was she going to do?