This War of Ours
SUMMARY: In a world where the Fire Nation rules the world and only a few pockets of resistance remain, children are brought to the Academy in the Capital under the guise of harmonious learning. As Katara starts her journey in the hallowed halls, she quickly finds out that some things are not as they seem. [Zutara AU, inspired by Harry Potter]
A/N: Chapter title is from the Queen, JK Rowling, in Goblet of Fire. For those who don't know (or can't remember, tbh not judging), the full quote goes, "It matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be." Hopefully its significance to the chapter becomes somewhat obvious. Okay, rambling over! Enjoy!
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Avatar: The Last Airbender.
CHAPTER 3
it matters not what someone is born
"There, look."
"Where?"
"Next to the tall girl with the long black hair."
"Did you see his scar?"
"Do you think it's cursed?"
Fire Prince Zuko scowled. Whispers had followed him from the moment he left his uncle's office after morning tea the day before. First, it was his friends from the Fire Nation. They knew well enough not to ask him what happened over the summer, but they speculated in hushed tones about his massive failure and subsequent humiliation. Second were the Sifus he passed by before and after the welcome feast. Zhao had unsurprisingly smirked at him from the High Table, his eyes mocking; Wu started to predict that he will be rid of "the darkness that engulfed" him before he shoved his way through the crowd; the waterbending healer, Yugoda, looked at him with so much pity that he imagined burning the old hag in the middle of dinner.
Today, it was worse— worse than his first day at the Academy, two years prior. Back then, the upperclassmen expected the Fire Lord's son to join their ranks— no one had elbowed their friends while looking at his face in disgust and curiosity. Which has already happened thrice as he crossed the Great Hall from the Fire Nation table to the Eastern Courtyard.
He was nearing the archway into the courtyard when he felt another pair of eyes on his scar. Zuko kept his head up and threw his shoulders back, glancing around the nearest occupied table for the perpetrator. His eyes landed on the blue-eyed boy who was gaping at him, slack-jawed, with his spoon halfway to his mouth. Zuko's eyes narrowed in recognition and mounting annoyance. Idiot with a boomerang… He glared venomously at the Water Tribe peasant, who squeaked audibly and turned back to his porridge.
The Fire Prince strode to the courtyard, fists clenched at his sides, not even bothering to wait for his sister and her posse to catch up with him. He plunked himself down on the straw mats that have been set up on the packed dirt. He willed himself not to set anyone or anything on fire.
First thing in the mornings at the Academy was training with the masters of your element. For Zuko and the other children of the Fire Nation, this meant an hour of meditation with Iroh. It was excruciating at best— being forced to clear his mind when his body was filled with the energy of the rising sun, begging him to uncoil and strike.
It was especially unbearable now, with Zuko's emotions in turmoil. He failed to see how meditating could improve one's bending. Fire was fueled by passion, he believed, and sitting quietly and breathing slowly did nothing to dampen the flames creeping up in his mind.
Zuko spent the hour imagining the flames lapping up the skin of every person who glanced at him with pity and disgust in their eyes. It was a morbid line of thought for a fifteen-year-old firebender to have, but Zuko did not care. The mental pictures he conjured placated his rage more than paying attention to the chi inside him.
His classmates began chatting lightly as the hour of meditation ended. Azula primly stood up from her mat. She had a satisfied smirk on her face, as though she had succeeded further than anyone at her first formal meditation attempt.
And maybe she had, said a small, bitter voice in the back of Zuko's mind. His sister had always been better than him at everything. Their father made sure he remembered that.
"She was born lucky. You were lucky to be born…"
Ty Lee's gleeful laugh distracted him from his reverie. He stood up and dusted himself off, trying to ignore the lithe girl's demonstrations of her gymnastic abilities. Zuko did not know why his sister associated with such a cheery girl— and a non-bender, at that.
Unlike the morning trainings of the earthbenders and waterbenders, Iroh allowed non-benders to join the early meditation session, saying that clearing one's mind of worldly matters wasn't an exclusive feat for firebenders.
Recalling his uncle's proverbs awakened another bout of annoyance in Zuko. He strode to the area at the far end of the courtyard where their daily spars occurred, planting his feet and dropping into a stance.
"I see you're excited to begin, Prince Zuko," Sifu Jeong Jeong commented drily. The master waved his hand impatiently at the other benders as the non-benders scattered for their hand-to-hand combat session with Zhao.
Zuko's classmates lined up beside him, and Azula elbowed her way to the center of the line, back straight and chin held high. He nearly growled at her impertinence— she was the youngest in the beginner group, did she really think it wise to show off, despite being the Princess of the Fire Nation? Zuko had to work tooth and nail his past two years in the Academy— neither his uncle nor his other Sifus gave him a quarter for being the Crown Prince. Azula's boldness irked him greatly, as though she had invalidated all of his hard work.
He can't wait to move up to the advanced group in his fourth year. Then again, Azula might move up with him if their Sifus really deemed her skills as prodigious.
Jeong Jeong listed his usual pointers for the first years and went through their ranks correcting postures, but Zuko couldn't hear much of it over the thundering in his ears. He glowered at Azula's smug profile and reminded himself, over and over, that attacking another student without a Sifu's permission was grounds for detention. And he will not dishonor himself in the eyes of his peers by getting detention over a squabble with his sister.
Speaking of dishonor…
Zuko glared at his uncle, who was seated on one of the Eastern Courtyard's stone benches, merrily sipping his tea and watching the Fire Nation's training session. Zuko couldn't believe he was forced to spend the entire summer with him at the Academy while recuperating from his scar. It was salt on the fresh wound.
The old man had been insufferable, with all his speeches on honor and destiny. As if his disgraced uncle knew anything about those— giving up his crown, his power, and his command of the largest army in the Fire Nation just to oversee a bunch of children.
The Fire Prince supposed his uncle's downfall was due to his cousin's death. He understood, to some degree, the pain that Iroh must have felt upon the loss of Lu Ten. Zuko himself had been devastated when he found out, but there was a sense of pride in dying while fighting for your country. He idolized his cousin growing up— and he had died in a blaze of glory, in the name of the peace the Fire Nation maintained across the world. Lu Ten was so full of potential, a beacon of hope to those who knew him. Zuko understood how excruciating it must have been for Iroh to see his son killed in a battle he commanded.
But what Zuko didn't understand was the debilitating inaction of his uncle in the aftermath. He had no fierce sense of vengeance on whoever slayed Lu Ten, no wrath brought upon the rebels of Ba Sing Se. It was as if his inner flames were smothered by tears and tea.
Iroh just gave up. And Zuko loathed him for that, because Zuko never gave up.
He swore he would never end up like the defeated old man, despite his current predicament.
"You whacked the Fire Prince with your boomerang?" Katara hissed at her brother, who was busy gulping down porridge with berries and lychee nuts after the Fire Prince glared at him with enough heat to burn down glaciers.
"It was totally fair, Katara!" Sokka cried defensively, a bit of his breakfast dribbling down his chin. "Sifu Piandao said we needed to treat sparring as an actual battle, and use tactical means to win! I did what I had to do!"
Katara rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest, her own bowl of porridge forgotten. "Why didn't you tell me this part of your awesome story back at home?"
"Because you're a blabbermouth!" replied Sokka, waving an arm dismissively and nearly upending his seatmate's bowl. "You would've told Dad!"
"Yeah, I would have, because we could very well be roasted by the Fire Lord in our sleep, Sokka!"
Sokka flinched. "I know, I know. I didn't think it through." He turned back to his bowl with a thoughtful expression. "I guess the boasting didn't help, either…"
"What about that mark on his face?" Katara continued. She had noticed the scar as the Fire Prince crossed the Hall. "Did you do that, too?"
"What? No!" Sokka sputtered. "That wasn't there last year. I wonder how he got it."
"Who cares how he got it?" Katara scoffed. "I got an earful from Dad about staying out of trouble, but it should have been you on the end of it!"
"It wasn't trouble, Katara," Sokka explained, rolling his eyes to the ceiling. "The only time you're allowed to attack someone is during training. He won't be able to fight me outside class, and it would be pretty cowardly to go tell the Fire Lord that he lost to a non-bender."
Katara scowled at the hidden brag at the end of her brother's sentence. "I think you should apologize to him."
"What?!" Sokka's sudden burst of laughter turned into a convulsive cough as he choked on his breakfast. He thumped his chest a few times and wiped tears from his eyes before speaking. "You're insane. That's such a girly thing to do."
"What does being a girl have to do with apologizing, Sokka?" Katara asked, steel in her voice. Sokka shrugged, reaching for his cup of water to ease his still-scratchy throat.
It froze solid before he could take a sip.
"Hey!" he protested. "I was gonna drink that!"
"Well, if you want me to say sorry, I will not," Katara said snidely, rising from the bench, "because apologizing doesn't have anything to do with being a girl."
With that, she stalked off to the Western Courtyard, her nose in the air.
Yue had explained to her before breakfast that they would be receiving their lessons in the cabin by the river, at the far end of the courtyard. Katara hadn't noticed the river before, and the Western Courtyard was so immense that by the time she reached the wooden cabin— it was more of a shack, somewhat rundown and not cared for— her legs were burning and sweat had gathered on her brow. She wondered if they'd be going into the water for training; the prospect of splashing around in her element seemed particularly attractive to Katara after the trek to the shack.
She spotted Yue by the muddy bank, chatting with some other girls that Katara recognized from their dormitory.
"Hi there!" she greeted cheerfully. Yue greeted her warmly and waved her over.
"Have you met the girls yet?" Yue gracefully led Katara to the loose circle of girls. "This is Gumi, she comes from a long line of healers back home." The slight young girl with beads in her hair grinned excitedly at Katara. "Those two are Yuka and Yura. Yuka has a mole on her temple; that's the only way to tell them apart." The identical girls waved at Katara as the princess continued to introduce the others. "That one over there is Baya. Her younger brother, Akkad, is your brother's age." Katara nodded at the girl who resembled the boy on the other side of Sokka at breakfast.
"Are we still waiting for the others?" Katara asked the group at large. The Water Tribes were not as large a group as the Earth Kingdom, but she felt slightly disappointed at how few waterbenders there were.
"Only Sifu Yugoda," Gumi replied cheekily, earning a few laughs from the girls.
"Are all the waterbenders in the North girls?" Katara asked.
"Oh, La, no," Baya said, covering her smile with an elegant hand, "Akkad is actually a waterbender, as well."
"The boys train with Sifu Pakku," Yue expounded further.
"Do we get to train with Sifu Pakku after this?" inquired Katara. Her classmates tried not to laugh, and she tried not to bristle.
"Sifu Pakku does not teach girls, Katara," Yue explained gently.
"But— why? That seems incredibly unfair." Katara crossed her arms over her chest. "My father taught both me and my brother how to handle a spear." Truthfully, she wasn't better at wielding it compared to Sokka, but she was grateful for the instruction, especially when her catch provided the village with more food. Why were the other benders learning from someone else just because they were boys?
"We are trained to heal, not to fight." Yuka— or was it Yura, Katara couldn't tell— said, a hint of haughtiness in her voice.
"Yeah, we leave the brutish behavior to the men," smirked the other twin. "At least in this war, we're doing something different than hacking down people."
Katara blinked in confusion. Were her classmates actually fine with not learning how to defend themselves?
"That's just how we do it in the North, Katara," Yue touched her arm softly. "There were no Southerners until you and Sokka arrived, so the tradition carried on here."
Katara opened her mouth to argue, to make them see how ridiculous the whole thing was, but she was cut off by an elderly voice from the shack.
"Ladies, gather 'round!" Sifu Yugoda motioned for them to join her on the dilapidated porch, where a notched wooden dummy lay. Her classmates hurried to sit in a loose circle around the dummy, but Katara trailed behind, still stewing at the injustice of coming all the way to the Academy just to learn how to heal.
"I haven't seen you before, dear," Yugoda glanced at her curiously. "And I've helped birth all the young ones at home. You must be from our sisters in the South."
Katara nodded meekly. "I'm Katara," she said, finally kneeling on the porch beside Yue.
"Welcome, Katara of the Southern Water Tribe." Yugoda smiled warmly at her and summoned a wisp of water from an earthen pot.
"What's wrong with you?" Sokka asked, bewildered, as he heaped dish after dish on his plate.
Katara shrugged. The healing lesson was surprisingly exhausting, and by the end of it, she still hadn't learned how to channel her energy enough to make her element glow to a healer's blue.
Katara sincerely believed it was because she wasn't born a healer, but Sifu Yugoda insisted it was an innate gift in female waterbenders. She wrinkled her nose in disgust. Was a healer all she was supposed to be?
"I'm never gonna complain when you're quiet, sis, but it is really weird when you're not yapping," Sokka continued, shoveling food into his mouth.
Katara ground her teeth together, trying not to snap at his brother. It wasn't his fault she was born a girl waterbender.
"Hey," Sokka filled the silence, attempting to cheer her up. "You have free period after lunch, you know, when the Water Tribe guys learn swordsmanship from Sifu—"
"Where's the library?" Katara blurted out, a plan forming in her head.
"Third floor of the East Wing," her brother answered, startled at the first words Katara spoke in half an hour. "Spirits, Katara, are you seriously planning on studying during your free period?"
"Yes," replied Katara curtly, pushing her barely-eaten lunch away. She was halfway down the long tables before Sokka called after her.
"Katara! Are you coming back or can I eat your seaweed noodles?"
She didn't deign to reply.
Zuko wasn't at lunch.
Mai wasn't worried. Sure, he had become surlier and more prone to fits of rage after his Agni Kai with his father, but she was positive he was just brooding somewhere, probably in their common room. She'd been slightly disappointed by his lack of enthusiasm upon seeing her when she arrived, but Mai never pined over anyone who clearly didn't want anything to do with her at the moment.
Zuko would come to her if he wanted to talk, and if he didn't, that was fine by her, too. She didn't need to know what he didn't want her to know.
No, Mai wasn't worried. Or so she convinced herself.
"It was liberating to have the palace all to myself," Azula's smooth, clear voice interrupted Mai's musings. "You should've dropped by, Mai, even though Zuzu wasn't there."
The sharp edge underlying Azula's voice rivaled that of Mai's throwing knives, but she remained unperturbed. Mai knew how to handle sharp things. "I wish I had gone. Father dragged the family to Omashu. It was a despicably boring summer."
"Aw, that's too bad!" Ty Lee simpered. "Azula and I had such a grand time when I visited for a week, didn't we, Azula?"
"Just marvelous," Azula drawled, examining her nails. Mai smirked slightly at the Fire Princess's sarcasm.
"Must've been a blast," Mai commented wryly.
Ty Lee pouted at them before flashing a bright smile at Chan, who had been hovering around the trio for about five minutes.
"Well, I, for one, am glad that Uncle took Zuzu in after that disgraceful Agni Kai," Azula said abruptly. Mai was aware of her friend's talent for turning small talk into a compromising conversation. She bit into her komodo sausage primly as she waited for the other foot to fall.
"His task is befitting of fools like my ludicrous uncle," Azula continued, seemingly bored. "I highly doubt Zuko has found any useful information on the Avatar during his months of poring over scrolls in the library."
Mai tried not to let her surprise show on her face. She tried not to feel anything at all, in fact, despite Azula dangling the bait.
But her stomach churned despite her indifferent mask. What did Zuko do that was so dishonorable that he was forced to duel his own father? Why was he scrounging around for information on the Avatar? Why wouldn't he just tell her?
Azula surveyed Mai over steepled hands, expecting an answer.
"If you say so," Mai responded inanely, taking a sip of her tea. She wasn't one to appreciate boiled leaf water, unlike her boyfriend's uncle, but the warmth of the beverage was soothing on her nerves.
Not that Mai was nervous. Why would she be nervous after hearing that Zuko's task was to research the Avatar? The Avatar did not exist anymore. The Fire Nation took care of that. No literature holding data on the Avatar could possibly exist in the Academy's library. The Fire Nation would have taken care of that, too.
She hated that she wanted to know what he was up to.
The old door creaked open. They weren't as heavy as the doors of the Great Hall, but Katara still had to shove her way into the small opening that she created.
The library was not as impressive as she imagined. Dust swirled in the slats of sunlight that filtered through the dirt-coated windows. Parts of the towering shelves sat empty, and cobwebs stretched from one scroll to another on the top ledges. Tags were attached to most of the scrolls, though, and Katara breathed a sigh of relief.
She began scanning the first row, running a hand through the dangling labels until she realized she was in the Earth Kingdom section of the library. She moved on to the next shelf. Still Earth Kingdom. The next one— Earth Kingdom again. The row after that— Fire Nation.
Katara's patience was beginning to thin when she finally found titles that indicated she was in the Water Tribes area. With a silent whoop she eagerly read the tags until she found what she was looking for.
Triumphant, Katara pulled the scroll from the shelf. It was the only waterbending scroll she could find in the entire section, which was already sparse enough to begin with. She unfurled the parchment. Her eyes hungrily pored over the forms and figures, committing what she could to her memory.
If they wouldn't allow her to learn how to fight, she was going to have to learn by herself. She'd been doing that ever since she promised to keep her waterbending secret.
It's not like this would be any different.
She forced herself to concentrate on one of the beginner moves illustrated on the scroll. The Water Whip. Even though it was one of the simpler ones, the stances and instructions seemed too complicated for Katara. She needed the details for reference if she wanted to master the simple whip.
Katara looked around. Maybe she could just take the scroll? Somehow, Katara didn't believe that the Sifus (particularly Sifu Pakku) would take so kindly to her learning waterbending moves on her own.
But she couldn't just leave the only waterbending scroll here, where anybody could just take it away. What if one of the Water Tribe boys used it for their homework or something? She couldn't risk losing her only source of useful knowledge for the year.
I should hide it.
But where?
Katara padded down the next row of shelves. The scrolls here were more sparse than the collection of the Water Tribes, their labels almost unreadable due to their wear and tear. Katara guessed these were the Air Nomads' literature. Had no one really read them after the people had gone? Wasn't anyone curious of how these people lived? The patterns of dust reveal they were untouched for who knows how long— no, wait.
Some scrolls were missing from the shelves. Katara laid a finger on one blank space, clear of dust. Who was curious about how the Air Nomads lived? She peered around the library— it seemed empty except for her. Whoever the curious soul was, they just took the Air Nomads' scrolls and left.
Maybe Katara didn't have to hide her scroll in the library, too.
A/N: FYI, I borrowed some of the names of Katara's classmates from the indigenous peoples of Ifugao here in the Philippines. 'Gumi' is the name of the last female mumbaki (shaman and ritual specialist); 'Baya' means rice wine, and 'Akkad' means stilts, if I'm not mistaken. I will insert more of our culture in this story since it is something I love to pay homage to every time I write. It won't affect much of the dynamics of the world, though, 'cause that feels too much like self-insertion lol. Please let me know what you think!