This War of Ours
SUMMARY: In a world where the Fire Nation rules the world and only a few pockets of resistance remain, children are brought to the Academy in the Capital under the guise of harmonious learning. As Katara starts her journey in the hallowed halls, she quickly finds out that some things are not as they seem. [Zutara AU, inspired by Harry Potter]
A/N: So sorry this took so long! I got caught up in moving out of my old place and after that work just piled up and I had a three-week bout of depression and deep, deep self-loathing that left me unable and unwilling to write and anyway enough babbling please enjoy this crappy chapter
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Avatar: The Last Airbender.
CHAPTER 6
chasing after our ends
Perhaps it was because she was now so busy, what with actually paying attention to her healing lessons on top of all the midnight training sessions, but Katara could hardly believe it when she realized she's already been at the Academy three months.
The weeks had gone by without incident— she and Suki, and sometimes Sokka once his injury healed, snuck out almost every night, and Katara had so far perfected the water whip, the water jet, water bullets, and her usual wave in lieu of a shield.
Currently, she was practicing the octopus form, an entry about halfway down the list of techniques in her waterbending scroll, and Suki and Sokka's participation in her training proved useful in testing her control of the multiple arms of the stance.
Useful, but annoying, thought Katara. Tonight, she arrived by the river earlier than usual, steeling herself for the onslaught of attacks from the two warriors. It amazed Katara how well they worked as a team, and despite their introduction going off on the wrong foot, both of them seemed to have struck a mutual understanding to learn from each other. And drill Katara to the bones.
Thus Katara's early start. She rolled up her leggings and resolutely waded into the shallow part of the river. Tentacles of water rose up to the command of her outstretched arms, and she stood there, trying to get used to the curious feeling of having eight extensions of her limbs—
Bam.
She jumped out of the river at the unmistakable roar of rocks falling, her octopus form morphing into two water whips. She stood at attention on the riverbank, looking around for some evidence of a non-snow version of an avalanche— did those happen in the Fire Nation?— but the sound was too near to be coming from the mountains.
Bam.
The ground shook underneath her and she backed a few paces from the muddy banks until her feet planted firmly on compacted dirt.
Bam.
Fairly sure there wasn't a natural disaster hurtling towards her, she walked cautiously in the direction of the sound. Maybe it was someone earthbending?
It was someone earthbending.
A boy, several years older than her— he looked vaguely familiar, but Katara reasoned that she had eaten enough lunches with Suki at the Earth Kingdom table that almost every person there looked familiar to her by now. She'd even gotten to know Jet, that attractive boy that the Northern Water Tribe girls fawned over, even though Suki didn't approve of him and his friends hanging around the Kyoshi warriors.
But this earthbender— he wasn't part of Jet's rambunctious entourage. Katara hadn't noticed him except for a fleeting glance, maybe. But here he was flinging boulders from one point to another in the dead of the night, and Katara's curiosity got the better of her.
Ignoring the voice in her head that sounded inexplicably like her brother ("He looks dangerous, so we better approach cautiously," Sokka's voice said), Katara all but shouted, "Hello there! I'm Katara. What's your name?"
The boy gasped, his long hair swinging as he whipped around the face her. He disintegrated the boulder he was bending to gravel and ran swiftly to the Eastern Courtyard.
"I just wanted to say hi," Katara muttered to his fleeting figure and frowned. What was he so afraid of? They were both illegally practicing in the middle of the night. And it would've been nice to have another bender to train with. She was getting sick of Suki and Sokka's weapons.
She and Zuko still weren't speaking. Mai clutched her comb until her knuckles turned white against her pale flesh.
"Maybe if you just talked to him…"
Mai shot Ty Lee a look in the mirror. No. The Fire Nation had to freeze over before she spoke to Zuko first. He started it, he should end it. Ty Lee didn't understand.
Mai never pined over someone who didn't want her around. Mai never begged for attention from someone who clearly didn't want to give it.
And Agni be damned, if Zuko wanted to challenge her to a contest of stubbornness and pride, he was a fool for thinking he would win against her.
It still hurts that she doesn't know why they weren't talking in the first place, though.
Maybe she knew, back when this battle of wills started. Maybe it was Azula's taunting that started it. Maybe it was the truth behind her honeyed words. Maybe Mai didn't want to think about how doomed her relationship with Zuko was after his Agni Kai.
Maybe it was my fault.
Zuko never closed himself off like this if he thought he was in the wrong. He usually sought her out. Well, usually was back at the start of their fledgling relationship, back when she was ecstatic that her childhood crush even noticed her, back when he didn't have that scar that made him want to be brood all the time.
She didn't even mind the scar. She just hated that it made him act like an entirely different person. That it made him act as though he didn't care about her.
They usually read each other so well that Mai didn't feel guilty about hiding her emotions, because he always knew how she felt. And even that was gone, now.
She sighed and relinquished her grip on the comb. Ty Lee was still hovering at her shoulder, concerned.
"Maybe I will talk to him," Mai muttered under her breath, trying not to let her annoyance at groveling for attention seep through the flatness of her voice. Ty Lee clasped her hands happily and she cut the acrobat off. "But not tonight."
Her friend nodded, but her smile was still bright with hope.
It's not like I know where he goes at this hour, Mai thought bitterly to herself, hating how much she wanted to know. How much she wanted him to just tell her.
"Nephew."
Zuko didn't even acknowledge his uncle standing in the dimly-lit library. He just continued to pore over Air Nomad text with the aid of a single lamp.
"It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live," Iroh continued, long robes whispering against the stone floors as he approached the Fire Prince. "A man needs his rest."
"I'll rest when I've found the Avatar," Zuko said, his voice hoarse from hours— or maybe days, he wasn't sure he'd spoken to anyone recently— of disuse. The flame in the lantern flared up ever so slightly.
Uncle Iroh rested a warm hand on his shoulder. "Prince Zuko, this quest your father has sent you on is nothing but a farce. Surely, you must know that. One person cannot face this hunt alone."
"I'm still going to try, Uncle," Zuko glared at his uncle pointedly, as though any semblance of inaction was a crime. "I have to. I have no choice if I want to regain my honor."
"You never lost your honor, Prince Zuko," Iroh said gravely. "What you're trying to regain is your father's approval."
Fire licked the glass walls of the lantern as Zuko shook off Iroh's hand from his shoulder. "So what if I am?"
"I am not saying it's wrong to seek his approval, nephew," Iroh conceded gently. "But a man in a desert must know the difference between a mirage and an oasis, just as a war strategist must know which battles need to be fought."
"All battles need to be fought," murmured Zuko absently, returning his attention to the scrolls.
Iroh sighed.
"What have you found out so far, Prince Zuko?"
He pinched the bridge of his nose, fighting the incessant pounding in his head.
"I'm starting to think that maybe the Avatar died years ago and we're looking in the wrong place," he admitted grudgingly. "Whoever told Father of the activities in the Air Temples must've been leading him on a wild goose chase. And I got roped into it."
Something akin to shame flashed in Iroh's eyes as he surveyed his nephew hunched over scrolls. The two spent several minutes in silent contemplation until the Headmaster broke it, his voice barely above a whisper.
"My brother has doomed himself with his mistakes," he observed. "I sincerely hope you soon see the light in this darkness, nephew. He is your father, but you are no longer a child terrorized by a madman. You are an honorable young man who is very much capable of rising above the Fire Lord's thirst for power. You do not need his approval to know what is right."
The Fire Prince kept his gaze obstinately trained on the text before him, but he did not read a single word of it.
"Mourn the loss of the love you never received, my nephew, but do not let it goad you into chasing something that doesn't exist."
"The wars between the two kingdoms of Ba Sing Se and Omashu wreaked havoc in the world, and so Fire Lord Sozin took it upon himself to unite these two nations…" Zei intoned from his books, barely looking up at the restless class.
History lessons from the Academy were all Fire Nation propaganda, Jet had told her during their first class. Katara couldn't decide if she was thrilled to find him instead of Suki in her history class— apparently, with the sheer volume of Earth Kingdom children, half took History lessons from Zhao, and half were under Zei.
Katara tried to look on the bright side (aside from Jet's presence). At least it was Zei teaching them, not a man from the Fire Nation.
She still couldn't stomach the information they fed her, though.
In one of their earlier lessons, Zei read from accounts from Fire Nation historians— as if those filthy conquerors even took the time to learn about our culture— depicting the Southern Water Tribe as inferior and backwards and barbaric. It was enough to send her into a heated argument that, in the eyes of her Northern Water Tribe and Earth Kingdom classmates, proved the Southerners were, in fact, inferior and backwards and barbaric.
Katara learned to bite her tongue after that.
While it was true that the Southern and Northern Water Tribes were sisters, the Northern Water Tribes cultivated a sort of disdain on the Southerners. Their version of how the Southern Water Tribe came to be was because one of their own princesses was banished for consorting with a lowly fisherman. In the Southern version, the princess ran away because she couldn't stomach the rules that her nation forced upon her, and together she and the fisherman built a life for themselves, free of constraints, in the tundras of the South.
But to the Fire Nation scholars, there was no difference between them.
Katara didn't know why her Northern classmates weren't as indignant as she was. Their history lessons often portrayed their customs wrong— the only thing they got right, it seemed, was how the Northern Water Tribe ranked women lower than the men. Katara felt vindicated at that.
Right now though, as Sifu Zei monotonously droned on about the benefits of the Fire Nation taking over the world— he didn't seem to believe what he was reading, even after years of teaching— it was all Katara could do to stay awake. The afternoon heat, coupled with the shade of the classroom and her fullness from lunch, made a great recipe for drowsiness.
Five more minutes. Five more minutes before class ends, Katara chanted to herself.
Her eyes flitted from one object to another, desperate for something to keep her eyelids from drooping shut, when they alighted on the brown-haired boy from the night before.
I knew he was familiar.
The thump of Zei's tome closing signaled the end of the class, and with a collective scraping of chairs the students stood up, chatting amongst themselves. Katara ran after the long-haired earthbender as he slipped into the corridor.
"Hey!" She caught up with him as he walked to the Great Hall. "You're that kid. Why did you run away before?"
"Uh…" His eyes widened with recognition and fear. "You must have me confused with some other kid."
"No, I don't," she insisted. She lowered her voice, hoping he wouldn't run away again. "I saw you earthbending."
The boy stumbled to a stop and shushed her, looking around frantically at their classmates milling toward the Great Hall. Katara waited patiently as he deliberated.
Finally he led her to the opposite end of the corridor and sat by a large, arched window. He crossed his arms as he assessed her suspiciously. Katara twisted her fingers behind her back, offering him a small, encouraging smile.
"I'm Haru," he began after a few heartbeats. "What did you say your name was?"
She practically beamed. "I'm Katara."
"Soooo," Suki sauntered up to her at dinner, sitting herself down at the Water Tribes table. "Why were you all cozied up with Haru at lunch?"
Katara blushed and poked at her sea prunes, actively avoiding her friend's gaze. It didn't save her from Suki's questions, though.
"He's cute, huh?" she asked, edging closer to the flustered waterbender. "He's really quiet and keeps to himself, but he's nice."
"Who's nice?" Sokka asked from further down the table. Beside him, Yue perked up in interest.
"Nobody!" Katara squeaked, pinching Suki below the table. The older girl just laughed and brushed her off.
"Katara's got a boyfriend," Suki teased, making Katara blush even harder.
"He's not—! We were just—"
"Oooh, who is it?" Gumi piped up from Yue's other side. "Is it Jet?"
Katara felt the heat spread to her ears and neck. "No! Why would you even think that?"
Gumi shrugged, her blue eyes wide. "He's always sitting next to you in History and you're always hanging out with Earth Kingdom kids."
Suki chuckled mischievously. "Whoa, didn't know you were such a man-killer, Katara!"
"I'm not! Jet's not interested in me that way—"
"Is it the tall, silent archer?" Baya joined the conversation, and even her brother, Akkad, peered at Katara curiously. Katara stopped herself from banging her head against the table.
"Can we not talk about my sister's boyfriends at dinner? You guys are ruining my appetite!" Sokka gagged, and Katara thanked the spirits that they gave her Sokka as a brother.
As the others drifted to other topics, Suki leaned towards Katara conspiratorially. "So, why were you and Haru all alone in the Eastern corridor?"
Katara made sure the people around them were occupied before explaining in a low voice, "I caught him earthbending in secret last night. I thought it would be nice to have another bender to train with, but he ran away before I could ask. Then I saw him in History class, so I talked to him about it."
Suki's lips tightened, as though she was fighting off a grin. "So you're going to train with him at night?"
Katara narrowed her eyes. "We're going to train with him at night," she corrected, eyes flicking to her brother, who was busy laughing with Yue. "If you guys are okay with it."
"Sure, Katara," the Kyoshi warrior clapped a hand on Katara's shoulder as she stood up to leave. "But, whew! Boy, am I tired. I may have to skip tonight. I think Sokka's tired, too."
"Suki!" hissed Katara, but her friend was already walking away.
"We need to talk."
Mai's words sliced through the muted air in the library and her stiletto knife punctured the scroll that Zuko hunched over.
He didn't acknowledge her. He merely wrenched the knife away and thumbed the hole in the aged vellum, as though a touch would repair the rip.
Mai had had enough. "What's your problem, Zuko?"
Zuko clenched his fists. He was the one with the problem? She was the one who didn't talk to him after he got detention. She was the one who took his sister's side and proved all his suspicions correct. She was the one who left him to face his sister alone.
She was the one who didn't fight for their relationship, and now she has the gall to ask him what his problem was?
"You," Zuko spat out. "You're the problem."
"Me." Mai's tone was devoid of any emotion, but her heart was pounding in her ears. "Sure, I'm the problem. You just can't do anything wrong, can you, Zuko?"
She picked up her knife from the table and stalked away, gritting her teeth at Ty Lee's suggestion of talking it out. Talking never solved things.
Zuko ran a hand down his face as Mai's footsteps receded.
I can't do anything right.
"What's your village like?" Katara asked, a thick cord of water hoving between her palms. She'd easily found Haru at the spot where she saw him the night before, but this time he was not lifting boulders, just bending two stones to circle each other in his hand.
Whatever Suki said, it was nice to have another bender to train with.
"It's a small one. Everybody knows everybody, and it's crawling with Fire Nation soldiers," Haru explained, easily evading Katara's water whips.
"Are all Earth Kingdom villages like that?" Suki hadn't been quite informative on the Earth Kingdom— Kyoshi Island was far from the mainland, and it seemed quite well-protected by its combative inhabitants.
"Most of them, yes. There are more soldiers if a place has more uses for the Fire Nation. Fire Lord Ozai uses our town's coal mines to fuel his ships," Haru elaborated, waiting for her to make her move. For a sparring partner, he didn't attack as much as Katara expected. "The Fire Nation soldiers— they're thugs, they steal from us, and everyone there was too much of a coward to do anything about it."
"But why?" She sent a jet of water towards him, but he merely sidestepped it.
Again, the earthbender shrugged. "They're afraid of getting sent to the labor camps, or their house burning down. I guess I can understand it. Me and my mom barely had enough to get by without those thugs stealing all the money we make just so they could drink themselves to oblivion. We didn't need to provoke them even more, especially after the stunt Dad pulled."
"What did your dad do?" Katara asked curiously, all thoughts of sparring leaving her head.
"Dad and other earthbenders attacked the Fire Nation regiment when they arrived in our village. They were outnumbered ten to one, but they fought back anyway." A ghost of a smile flitted over Haru's face before a grimace replaced it entirely. "They sent him to a Fire Nation rig."
"That's awful!" cried Katara. When her own father left, at least it was on his own volition— although that in itself wasn't much of a consolation. Haru drew a fissure in the earth beneath her feet, and she remembered they were still fighting. Katara flung a wave at him and he launched himself in the air with an earth column.
He landed a few feet shy of Katara with a thud. "That's why Mom said I must never use my abilities, because earthbending's caused nothing but misery for our village," he continued gloomily.
Droplets of water hovered in midair as Katara processed his words.
Remember your promise, sweetie. Never use your bending in front of strangers.
"How could she say that?" Katara felt her own frustration fuel the volume of her voice. "You have a gift! Asking you not to earthbend is like asking me not to waterbend. It's a part of who we are!"
Haru grinned wistfully at her. "You remind me of my dad. That's exactly something he would say."
"Uh, thanks," Katara flushed and busied herself with trying to harness the octopus form as Haru patiently waited.
She managed to form all eight tentacles and stand her ground, but one timid rock punch from Haru took it all down. Katara moaned and actually stomped her feet.
"Sorry!" Haru exclaimed sheepishly.
Katara grinned apologetically at her childishness. "Hey, it's not your fault. I probably have to master that form before whipping it out in a match."
"You were doing good with your other moves," he encouraged. "I've never seen a girl fight with waterbending before. You're very graceful."
"Thank you, Haru." Katara looked down at her hands, suddenly feeling very timid. She sneaked a peak at him and he seemed furiously attentive to a piece of rock at his feet.
Haru cleared his throat uncomfortably. "Well, it's getting late…"
Katara nodded vigorously. "Yeah. We better get going. See you around?"
He offered her a shy smile and turned to go.
Katara watched his retreating back for a few moments, fiddling with the end of her braid until the heat from her cheeks cooled slightly, then left in the opposite direction.
Her spar with Haru left her so flustered that she didn't hear footsteps approaching until a smooth, clear voice rang through the Great Hall.
"Well, look what we have here," the Princess of the Fire Nation leaned against the archway Katara had just passed through. "Out for a stroll, are we, water peasant?"
Katara froze. She barely knew the Princess. The extent of her knowledge on the Fire Nation royalty was a vague recollection that her brother had attacked her unduly, back when classes were starting, and the fact that at benders' battles, Princess Azula was intimidating and ruthless, her techniques flawlessly executed.
She hadn't done anything untoward to Katara, but her sly voice sent ice down her spine.
Azula examined her nails boredly. "It's rude not to answer the question of a member of the Royal Court, little girl."
Katara huffed at her arrogance and turned to face the firebender with crossed arms. The weight of her water skin thumped solidly against her hip. "We're the same age, Your Highness. And last time I checked, you're also out of bed at this hour."
"You're right." The princess yawned and pushed herself off the archway, clasping her hands behind her back. "I have no business with—"
Her sharp eyes suddenly narrowed and flitted to the East Wing. Katara whipped around, hand on her pouch. Voices echoed through the stairwell and Katara frantically jumped back into a shadowy corner of the courtyard.
Across her, Azula's amber eyes gleamed wickedly in the moonlight.
"...assure you, General, that every means necessary has been employed to achieve Fire Lord Ozai's orders," a deep, drawling voice reached Katara's ears.
"I admire your tenacity, Commander Zhao," Headmaster Iroh's gravelly baritone replied. "I assume the military is still searching the Air Temples?"
The footsteps stopped a few paces from Katara and Azula's hiding place. "Why, General, I presumed someone in your esteemed position would be privy to such developments."
"Oh, no, Commander Zhao," Iroh's response was surprisingly light-hearted. "I only wanted a general idea of how our troops are faring. After all, I have been retired far too long. I imagine it would be rather difficult to lead our brave men and women while handling your responsibilities here in the Academy."
Zhao sneered at that. "I am not as old as you are, Headmaster Iroh." The footsteps resumed, their owners wandering farther away. "Some of us still listen to the call of fire in our blood."
Katara could no longer hear Iroh's answer. She waited for the Fire Princess to emerge from the shadows before straightening up and bolting to the Water Tribes common room.
She briefly caught sight of the smirk on Azula's face, and it told her that the princess got more or less what she wanted.
A/N: I'm sorry there's no Zutara interactions in this chapter! But Haru was bae before he got that damned moustache and lost all his spunky characterization. I ship him and Katara right below her and Zuko. (Fight me. But please don't.) I also borrowed some lines from my therapist (yeah I'm fucked up but I'm trying to fix it, don't worry) and while she doesn't read my crap here I feel like I still need to credit her on the stuff that stuck to my mind.