This War of Ours
A/N: First off, I apologize! The holidays took up much of my time and mental energy, so I haven't been able to update this as much as I'd like. Remember when I used to churn out chapters almost every week? Good times.
Anyway, I read all your comments on Pakku and Katara's match, but I already had some stuff lined up… so the much-awaited match will have to wait. Rest assured it will happen though, but for now, I hope this chapter makes up for everything!
Title is from Last Night the Rain Spoke to Me, another one of Mary Oliver's poems. The lines go, "Last night the rain spoke to me, slowly, saying, what joy to come falling out of the brisk cloud, to be happy again in a new way on the earth."
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Avatar: The Last Airbender.
CHAPTER 8
the rain spoke to me
Winters in the Fire Nation weren't really winters in Katara's book, since they were just months of cold rain and thunderstorms and fierce wind that forced people to huddle in their beds or by the fire while the glass shuddered in the window panes.
There was no snow to speak of, and she was still adjusting to the fact that she was now living in a place where the sun always shone even in stormy weather, so unlike her home where winters meant round-the-clock darkness and blizzards that left their little village buried in ice and locked inside their huts.
Fascinating that both places only had two seasons. Katara wondered how Earth Kingdom spring and autumn felt like.
Due to the relentless storms, combative sparring and benders' battles were moved to the bowels of the Academy, below the kitchens, where the stone was cold and wet and the torches on the walls never seemed to illuminate the entire arena.
Despite the weather, Katara still trained by the river at midnight.
Sokka had yelled at her when he saw her sneaking out during the onslaught of a small typhoon.
"You're crazy! Have you been outside recently? There are branches flying, Katara! I am not bringing your dead body back to Dad just to tell him you died in a storm!"
It was amusing, really, how her brother thought he could stop her when he was fresh out of bed. Sokka had always been easy to influence when he was sleepy.
"I'll be safe, Sokka. I'm a waterbender in a storm. Go back to sleep."
Those were the magic words, honestly. Sokka blinked as the drowsiness in his eyes replaced the crazed panic, and his shoulders slumped forward dejectedly.
"Alright, don't have to tell me twice. But you have to be back two hours earlier than usual, or I'm telling Dad and the Headmaster on you. Hear me? Two hours! And try not to get hit by lightning."
Suki thought she was crazy, too, but for different reasons.
"You should be training with the big boys now, Katara! I thought you were 'up to the challenge?' What happened?"
Truth be told, Katara didn't want to train with the "big boys." Perhaps this was the result of hiding her bending for so long— she didn't know who she was after her secret got out. What if she made a fool of herself trying to impress Sifu Pakku? What if the Water Tribe girls shunned her instead of joining her? She still remembered her first day of healing class; the girls thought combative waterbending was brutish and barbaric.
She did not need another reason for them to think of the Southern Water Tribe as brutish and barbaric.
So she lied to Suki.
"I just can't find the right time to challenge Pakku. Do I do it during training, or during benders' battles? Besides, that underground arena is so stuffy— I can't show my best moves in there!"
If Suki knew she was just grasping at straws to avoid the confrontation, she did not show it. She did, however, refuse to join her midnight sessions, because, as she'd reasoned haughtily, "I'm a sane person and I can't bend myself dry."
Haru was still on Katara's side, though, and for that she was thankful. He showed up whenever the rain let up slightly, and Katara was always glad to see him.
But spars with Haru weren't as fun as her spars with Suki or her brother.
He never seemed intent on hurting her— which should be a good thing, in other circumstances, but in this particular scenario it meant that Katara wasn't as challenged and didn't really have to think on her feet.
It got kind of boring, after a while.
Once, when he knocked a fist-sized rock into Katara's shoulder and stopped his attacks to apologize profusely, she briefly thought of Aunt Wu's prediction and wondered if Haru was a powerful bender. If he was, he didn't show it, because he kept holding back.
Is it because I'm a girl? Is that why he's afraid of hurting me?
But Haru wasn't here now for her to confront. She was all alone in the humid darkness— nights seemed darker and heavier now that it's monsoon season, and she wasn't complaining that Sokka wanted her to turn in early.
Suddenly, the world went white.
Katara jumped for cover, trailing her water after her— she spotted an outcropping Haru made the last time they practiced. She tucked herself into the small space underneath, Sokka's words running through her head all the while.
"Try not to get hit by lightning."
Katara sighed. Maybe I am crazy.
Zuko was tired of tea.
Zuko was tired of a lot of things.
He's tired of having tea in the morning with Uncle. He's tired of Uncle telling him every possible reiteration of his start of school speech. He's tired of not learning how to bend lightning.
It's not like he didn't try to listen to Iroh's lectures about balance and opposing forces coming together; it's not like he didn't appreciate the lessons he was taught.
But Zuko's tired of the basics.
So he decided to take matters into his own hands.
And what better time was it to practice lightning bending than during a storm?
Of course, he had to be careful. No one— especially his sister— could know what he was doing.
The little voice in his head told him not to bother, you'll never be as good as Azula anyway, Father wouldn't care about you unless you captured the Avatar by yourself—
Zuko shook his head and pulled on a black, nondescript tunic. He's been down that road with his thoughts before. It was an endless spiral that engulfed him and rendered him immobile.
I need something to cover my face, he told himself resolutely, trying to drown the morose voice with action.
He lit a small fire in his palm, meticulously searching the lavish decor of the empty Fire Nation common room. His eyes alighted on a grotesque blue and white mask, meant for storytellers and masquerade balls.
Perfect.
The grounds were quiet at this hour, with only the intermittent spattering of rain keeping the Fire Prince company.
He kept to the shadows, crept along the slick dark outer walls of the East Wing, and finally let himself breathe as he reached the treeline near the earthbenders' arena.
He smiled to himself; unintended explosions would be masked by thunder, and the rain would erase any mark he'd make on the training grounds.
Slowly, Zuko fell into his stance. Taking a deep breath, he focused on the positive and negative energies that surrounded him. He swept his arms out and brought his hands together—
— and nothing happened.
His second attempt produced a burst of fire so weak that it fizzled out in the misty air.
His third one charred a tree.
His fourth made an explosion so huge that it almost blinded him. He wasn't even sure if he actually made lightning— he just flew backwards and hit the muddy ground, his wooden mask painfully clattering against his chin.
The fifth attempt was like the second one— it was so weak and pathetic that Zuko roared and blindly punched the air and suddenly his sixth attempt was an uncontrollable volley of flames that he sent flying in every direction indiscriminately, detention be damned, let them know how much of a failure I am, can't even bend lightning—
Then someone yelped and Zuko froze.
"My hair!"
Without thinking, he ran to the direction of the voice.
"I'm sorry!" He apologized before he even saw his victim. "I'm sorry, I didn't know anyone else was here!"
"You burned my hair!" The accusatory voice came from near the river. In the gloom, Zuko saw light blue robes standing out in the darkness.
It was one of the noisy girls he got stuck doing kitchen duty with— the Water Tribe one, the one who shoved him after his battle with the boomerang boy.
Belatedly, he remembered her and her friend talking about sneaking out during music night.
So this was what they meant.
"I'm really sorry," he apologized again, hoping that his mask muffled his voice enough to avoid recognition. "It was an accident, I swear."
She clutched the end of her braid, frantically examining the singed ends.
"What am I gonna do?" she asked shrilly. Zuko flinched.
"It— it doesn't look that bad," he offered.
She frowned at him, her bright blue eyes glistening reproachfully in the dim moonlight.
"It's so much shorter than it was! People are gonna notice!" She wrung her hands and started pacing. "Oh, Sokka's gonna tell on me! And when they find out I've been sneaking out at night— oh!"
She whirled on him with narrowed eyes and Zuko stumbled backwards from the mere force of her gaze.
"Why are you wearing a mask?"
Zuko gulped.
"I… have to hide my identity," he explained lamely. The Water Tribe girl looked unconvinced.
"All the other people I met who train at night don't wear masks," she said, crossing her arms over her chest.
All the other people? Zuko thought. Was midnight training a regular thing? Was Uncle Iroh aware of this?
But knowing the answer wouldn't help him bend lightning, so he just shrugged in answer to the girl's query.
"Firebenders," she muttered, rolling her eyes. "What's your name, then?"
"Lee," Zuko responded with the most common Fire Nation name he could think of.
It was obvious that the girl didn't believe him.
"What's yours?" he challenged.
"Kya," she replied, sticking her chin in the air. He snorted.
It was obvious that the girl was lying.
"Very well, Kya." Zuko turned to leave. "I'm sorry about your hair, but if you don't mind, I'll get back to my training."
"Oh no, you won't!" Zuko almost fell forward as a water whip tugged on his ankle.
He growled, but the girl remained undeterred.
"If this is gonna be a regular thing, I have to know when you're shooting fireballs so I can go practice somewhere else," she raised an eyebrow at him, water whip still tight around his ankle. "Some place where my hair won't get burned off."
Zuko roared in frustration and cut off her whip with a sharp blast of flame. She easily reformed her water into a spear.
"Watch it, firebender," she hissed.
"Watch me, peasant," he hissed back, kicking an arc of flames which she blocked with a wall of ice.
He punched small explosions through his fists but she swerved around his attacks on a wave— he dodged the shards of ice she sent his way and launched himself high in the air as two whips threatened to catch his ankles once more.
He spun a stream of fire in her direction as he landed, melting the whips into steam, but she quickly bent rainwater into ice discs— he summoned a wall of fire but she skirted around his defense and he barely had time to shoot down the two icicles that whistled through the air before she was forming her whips again—
He countered with two whips of his own, trying to break her root, but she dove away and bent muddy water into menacing tentacles that lashed at his stomach, his face, his legs, his arms, forcing him to leap backwards and backwards until one tentacle shot out farther than the rest and tugged him down.
He fell backwards in an undignified heap, panting heavily.
"Don't… tell anyone… about… my… training," the girl said, sounding twice as winded as he was, "And I won't tell anyone… that you got beat… by a girl. Got it?"
"Got it," Zuko grinned beneath his mask and propped himself up on his elbows. Surprisingly, he still felt victorious despite his loss. It was a well-matched battle, despite her seeming lack of endurance. "What are you doing training at night? You're already pretty good."
The girl cast him a bewildered look, still breathing heavily. "You... think so?"
"I guess," Zuko shrugged. "I haven't sparred with a Water Tribe girl before, so I wouldn't know for sure."
"There's a reason for that, and it's precisely why I'm training at night," she replied bitterly.
His brows furrowed at her statement as he struggled to get up from the slippery mud beneath him.
She offered him her hand with a resigned sigh. He gritted his teeth and ignored her, his boots and arms still fighting for purchase on the muddy ground.
"Fine, make it harder for yourself then!" The girl threw her hands up in frustration. "I have to go now, though, or my brother will kill me, and then he'll kill you, too, probably, since you kept me out late."
Zuko let out a short bark of laughter at that. He could only imagine what her brother— or anyone else— might do if he was unmasked.
He finally straightened up, his filthy clothes clinging to him heavily. The girl nonchalantly bent water from his clothes, as though she did it everyday, but Zuko felt immense relief as his tunic felt much lighter.
"Thanks," he said gratefully, and she flashed him a brilliant smile before walking towards the Western Courtyard.
"I'll be here tomorrow night," Zuko called out on impulse and he nearly smacked himself on the forehead from embarrassment.
But the girl just looked over her shoulder with a small smile on her lips and called back, "Thanks for letting me know, Lee."
She waved good night and he waved back. His hand was still raised when she disappeared from his view.
"You know, Katara, I haven't seen you around on music nights much," Jet commented, the straw in his mouth bouncing at the end of his lopsided smile.
His lanky legs were sprawled out underneath his desk, as usual, effectively blocking anyone from walking down the aisle between him and Katara.
From her seat, Katara blushed at the attention. Had he really been seeking her out during music nights?
"I just… like hanging out with Suki and the other girls on music nights, Jet," she replied, her face heating up as she said his name.
Jet regarded her with sharp, dark eyes before grinning roguishly.
"Come with me next time," he said bluntly. Katara's eyes widened in surprise, and he continued, "I promise it'll be fun, gorgeous."
"Oh… sure," she could feel the heat reaching her ears and she just knew Gumi was hanging on to every word of this two seats behind her. "I'd love to go with you."
"By the way, I like what you did with your hair. Suits you," Jet winked at her as Sifu Zei entered the History classroom.
Katara played with the ends of her hair, her heart pounding in her ears. She wore it down today, hoping the rest of her curls would hide the singed portion. She'd hoped no one would notice, but apparently, Jet did.
And he loved it.
She spent the entire lesson stealing furtive glances at him, but he just seemed as nonchalant as usual.
Did he really just ask me out? What happens on music nights?
She silently cursed Suki for dragging her off to train for the past four music nights at the Academy.
Granted, they got a lot of training in whenever the sound of the tsungi horn blasted through the Great Hall, but now Katara was totally unprepared and clueless about what to expect.
The class ended before Katara knew it— Jet flashed her one last lopsided grin before he hurried off after his group of friends and Katara bit back a squeal.
Gumi didn't hold hers back, though.
"Tell. Me. Everything!" She insisted shrilly as soon as Jet's gang disappeared through the door.
Katara beamed. "Well, it seems my presence has been missed during music nights."
Gumi danced around giddily, her blue eyes glinting as they walked to the Great Hall. "I knew he liked you! I told you!"
"Who likes Katara?"
Sokka popped up behind them, struggling with the massive scrolls in his arms.
"Jet does," Gumi trilled sweetly, hands clasped in front of her chest. Sokka scowled darkly and turned to his sister.
"I don't trust that guy," he warned. "He and his Freedom Fighter friends are so full of themselves, like they actually fought in the war—"
"Oh, like you did?" Katara teased good-naturedly.
Her brother's scowl deepened as the cacophony of lunchtime reached them.
"I'm serious!" He hissed, looking around furtively. "He's been trying to recruit me to fight with the rebels as if he has a clue about what's happening outside his little Earth Kingdom village!"
"Well, he probably does, seeing as he's the leader of their rebel group," mused Gumi, sitting herself down at the Water Tribes table.
Sokka opened his mouth to retort, but Katara cut him off.
"It's just music night, Sokka, not joining the resistance. I can take care of myself." She pointed at his scrolls. "What are those?"
His eyes brightened immediately and he dumped his load on the wooden table with a flourish.
"They're maps! I've been asking Sifu Zei about the Si Wong desert— he mentioned a library there a couple of weeks ago— and he gave me some of the old-timey maps from his collection!"
"That's great, Sokka," Katara replied, a tad less enthusiastic than the young warrior. "Since when were you into maps?"
"It started when Dad allowed me into the council meetings," Sokka scratched the back of his head, a sheepish grin on his face. "But, hey! I figured, these maps could come in handy sometime, right?"
Katara eyed the dirty rolls and waved the dust motes away from the nearest pot of food.
"Sure, Sokka. Maybe one day, the Fire Nation will allow other people to travel the world freely."
"Nauseating," Azula commented dryly as Hyun and Kei tripped over themselves, presenting flowers to Ty Lee in the courtyard.
Mai hummed in agreement as she polished her knives. She never got the appeal of receiving gifts from boys. If she wanted a flower, she could very damn well get the flower by herself.
"I saw it, and I thought it was pretty," Zuko had told her once, offering her a rose from his mother's gardens. "Don't girls like stuff like this?"
"Maybe stupid girls," she'd replied.
And Mai was not a stupid girl. But she's pretty sure Ty Lee wasn't a stupid girl, too, so she could only guess what went through the acrobat's mind when she allowed boys to fawn over her like this.
"I can't fathom why Ty Lee would want all this attention," continued Azula, leaning back on the stone bench and examining her nails. "Sometimes it gets tiring when people worship you all the time."
"I thought you liked it," Mai paused to examine the glint of her stiletto in the weak sunlight. It was the first in many days that they could bask in the sun again, but heavy clouds still loomed on the horizon.
"Oh, I do, I love it," Azula agreed. "But sometimes I want to see how people would treat me if they didn't know who I was."
Mai didn't have an answer for that. What was the point, anyway? They were Fire Nation nobility; it's not like they had plenty of opportunities to sneak off and become anonymous.
A prickling sensation caused Mai to look up, her fingers tightening ever so slightly on her freshly polished knife. She squinted at the East Wing's upper floors, scanning the arched windows until her eyes rested on a pale face looking down at her from the third floor. From her vantage point, she couldn't see the scar on the other side of his face.
Mai didn't have to look too closely to know that he was smiling at her with that small, sad smile of his.
She turned away before she could smile back.
"I want to see how people would treat me if they didn't know who I was, too," she told Azula, who grinned slyly at her.
Haru didn't really like bending in the rain.
Water made the earth harder to manipulate; mud was heavier, somehow, and less willing to cooperate under his hands.
Earthbending can lift boulders and essentially move mountains, but once the water mixed in with the dirt, it took a lot of effort to bend the element to his will.
But Haru didn't mind, not at all, especially now that he was training with Katara. Maybe he'd gotten used to her water seeping into everything, or maybe he just really enjoyed her company— it's not everyday a pretty girl acts so interested in your boring life, he mused as he called the mud to solidify and hover between his outstretched fingers.
It's not everyday he's so interested in a pretty girl's life, too.
Hearing Katara tell stories about her homeland— stories of raid after Fire Nation raid that picked away at their dwindling tribe, stories of survival amidst hunger and harsh weather— and then, seeing her match volley after volley with ferocity he'd never seen before… it stirred up hope in Haru, hope that he never felt back at home, hope that things will get better if only people would fight back.
She stirred up other feelings inside him, too, but he was not prepared to acknowledge those yet.
But maybe it was because of those have-yet-to-be-named feelings that he was standing here, in the middle of the dark, damp woods, waiting for Katara to arrive.
He didn't have to wait long, though. He could hear her voice approaching from the Eastern Courtyard.
Huh. She usually crossed the Western Courtyard on her way to the river.
Maybe she picked up Suki, Haru thought, heart sinking. Suki was a great warrior, a great girl, but he was hoping to train with Katara one on one.
His heart sank further into his stomach when she turned the corner with a dark shadow, someone who was definitely not Suki.
Okay, he would've preferred Suki's company over this stranger's.
Why is he wearing a mask?
"Hi, Haru!"
Katara flashed him a radiant smile and Haru momentarily forgot about the masked man.
"Hey, Katara," he smiled, then lost control of the mud he was bending between his hands.
It splattered his robes and he blushed in embarrassment.
"I'm sorry I took so long," Katara said, oblivious to his flustered state. "I had to convince Lee—" she shot the other boy a frustrated glance, "— that it was perfectly alright to train with other people at night."
The masked stranger shrugged and bowed at Haru, Fire Nation style. Haru's eyebrows shot up to his hair. Was he simply a Fire Nation warrior? He squinted in the faint light of the moon. The boy had no weapons.
Why would Katara bring a firebender here?
Despite his surprise at the sudden disruption of their routine, Haru bowed politely to the boy.
"It's nice to meet you, Lee."
"You too," the firebender replied gruffly, as though it wasn't actually nice to meet him. Haru could safely say that he shared the sentiment.
The boy— Lee— turned to Katara. "Is this the brother you were talking about?"
Haru coughed. He and Katara looked nothing alike!
Then again, mixed looks weren't particularly uncommon, especially in the Fire Nation colonies. Haru reasoned that maybe Lee was from one of those outlying island towns in the Fire Nation, where Earth Kingdom families and Fire Nation fisherfolk coexisted, despite all odds.
"No, he's not," Katara was saying, "I saw Haru training here in secret, too, and I figured it'll be better if we trained together."
Lee seemed to eye the two of them beneath his mask; the black eye holes of the grotesque character he wore on his face betrayed nothing, until he spoke in a muffled voice.
"Alright then."
He shot twin blades of fire in their direction, and Haru barely had time to raise a wall before Katara was retaliating with icicles. Lee jumped in the air and landed to their right— Haru shot fist-sized rocks in his direction just as the firebender's feet hit the ground, forcing him to dodge left and right.
Katara took advantage of Haru's assault to pin Lee's hands to his sides with thick cords of water, but he swiftly shook them off with a fiery kick, bringing his feet down in a splash of mud.
Haru quickly encased him in the earth, willing the water-soaked dirt to work with him, but the mud only reached Lee's ankles and he easily broke free just as Katara threw him backwards into a tree with a surge of water, freezing him in place.
For a moment, Haru caught his breath, sure that Lee would concede defeat, but he saw Katara narrow her eyes and shift into stance.
He turned to look at the frozen firebender, steam slowly enveloping his dark figure— then there was an explosion and shards of ice flew in the air and Katara raised a dome of water to shield them.
"Hey!"
She withdrew the dome and carelessly led the water back to the river, planting her hands on her hip.
"Will you quit it with those explosions, firebender?"
"What would you have me do, Water Tribe?" Lee crossed his arms over his chest defiantly.
"Oh, I don't know," Katara tapped her chin in feigned thoughtfulness. "Maybe not hurt us, since we're just sparring?"
Lee threw his hands in the air in apparent frustration, his mask grinning maniacally at them.
"How is anyone supposed to learn when they're not pushed to their limits?"
"How is anyone supposed to learn when people keep almost killing them all the time?" Katara countered, flakes of ice forming on the ground near her.
Haru decided to step in before she froze them all.
"Alright, you guys. It's been a long night, maybe we should turn in."
It didn't seem like they heard him.
"I didn't almost kill you," the voice behind the mask sounded incredulous. "I accidentally burned your hair. There's a big difference."
"He burned your—" Haru began, but Katara stomped her foot on the ground and spikes of ice shot up from where she was standing.
"You could have killed me, you know!" She pointed a finger at Lee, who seemed unfazed. "If you had missed even an inch—"
The firebender scoffed, crossing his arms. "Oh please, you wouldn't have died, you would've just been scar—"
Abruptly, his hands fell loosely to his sides and he took a step backwards.
"What?" Katara advanced, her eyes narrowing dangerously. "I would've just been scarred? Yeah, like that's any consolation!"
"I know," Lee said so quietly that Haru almost didn't hear him, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I was callous with my actions."
He bowed formally to both of them.
"Maybe it's best that I don't train with you two anymore."
This gave Katara a start.
"I didn't say that, Lee," she said, her tone softening. "Isn't it part of your training to control fire so it doesn't burst out all the time? Maybe you could learn that with us."
"Really?" Lee asked hoarsely.
Katara sneaked a peek at Haru, who shrugged almost imperceptibly, letting her make the decision. Even though it would mean the end of his one-on-ones with her.
She flashed a bright smile at Lee and nodded.
"Really. Now, come on. We still have a few hours before Long Feng starts his patrol."
"Your sister," Suki gracefully plopped herself down beside him on the Water Tribes table, "is driving me crazy."
"Wha'd she do now?" Sokka asked through a mouthful of jook.
Suki narrowed her eyes at her empty bowl and spoke in a low but irritated voice.
"Haru let slip that they trained with a firebender last night."
"What?!"
Several Water Tribe students looked up at Sokka, who was suddenly on his feet. Suki rolled her eyes and tugged him back down, grinning at the others in mock innocence.
"What is she thinking?" Sokka growled under his breath, his breakfast forgotten. That came as a surprise to Suki, who'd never seen Sokka tear himself away from a meal before.
"I dunno," she shrugged, neatly serving herself seaweed noodles from a nearby pot. All her irritation seemed to have vanished when Sokka got wound up. "Interesting thing, though. Haru said he felt like he'd sparred with the firebender before."
"Wouldn't he know if he did?" Sokka's tone implied what he thought Haru's quick wit. "Anyone who's sparred anyone knows if they fought 'em. This is the Academy, not an open field with Fire Nation soldiers and their faceplates."
Suki's eyes twinkled dangerously.
"That's the thing. The firebender was wearing a mask. Haru didn't know who they were fighting, just that Katara brought him there without prior notice."
Sokka's eyes almost popped out of his head.
"Doesn't she know how dangerous that is?" He tugged at his wolf tail in frustration and banged his head against the table. "My sister's gonna drive me crazy!"
Suki chuckled knowingly beside him.
"Now you know how I feel."
A/N: Phew, that was a long chapter, but aaaaah! Finally, I got to the Blue Spirit part! I hope you liked our favorite couple's encounter. I just wish I did justice to ATLA's amazing battle scenes. (Also, I almost didn't make it through the whole Haru-Katara-Zuko meeting. In a more adult fic, it would've led to a threeway, and my mind couldn't let the image go lol). Up next is music night! And maybe a little bit of Ember Island? Who knows where my muse will take me. Please tell me what you think of this chapter! Your responses inspire me to keep writing!