Warning for blood, implied violence, PTSD, copious amounts of swearing, and lots of angst.
DISCLAIMER: The words are mine, but the characters aren't. They belong to JK Rowling and her universe; I am merely using it as an outlet like thousands of writers on this site.
Dedicated to Liza, Hufflepuff, and everyone who fed my Wolfstar addiction - love you all :P
"I'm telling you, roses are so cliche!"
"And I'm telling you that they're classy!"
Sirius huffed, pinning him with a disbelieving look. "James, every bloke in London — hell, every bloke in the world gives their girlfriends roses! There's nothing original about that!"
"Well, pray tell, flower expert," James drawled, "what should I give Lily instead?"
"You're not even considering the possibility of giving her something else?" Sirius pointed out. "Girls like flowers, but I'd bet Lily's tired of them now, given where she works. You're rich, mate. Don't be bloody cheap, and give her something nice."
James let out a sigh, but a jewelry shop's window display caught his attention. Both men paused to gaze at the stunning piece — a gleaming diamond pendant.
"Girls like jewelry, right?" James murmured thoughtfully, his mesmerized eyes locked on the pendant.
"Birds fall all over shiny things," Sirius said sagely. "You can't ever go wrong with jewelry."
"True," James conceded. "I should get her something with emeralds. Emeralds bring out her eyes."
While James dithered, Sirius tapped his fingers on his thigh impatiently, casting intermittent glances down the street. Finally, he gave in to his urges.
"Stay here all day if you must, James, but I'm leaving."
"Wait, where are you going?" James's head snapped up.
"I'm going to the flower shop," Sirius said, halting briefly to call over his shoulder.
"But you don't know where it is."
"Google Maps exists, James. I'll meet you there. But don't show up without something shiny!"
Thankfully, Flower Hut was only a couple blocks away, and it was a pleasant day, so Sirius strolled along at a leisurely pace — he even stopped at a bakery to purchase a bagel. And since he was feeling extra generous today, he flirted with the pretty cashier. She giggled and flushed, and Sirius grinned — he appreciated being single and handsome.
(James had been that way too, until one day when he'd set foot into Flower Hut to buy flowers for his mum and laid eyes on Lily. The two were now revoltingly in love, and James had declared that there was no better life than this. Sirius heartily disagreed.)
With a new number in his phone, Sirius left the bakery feeling utterly content and continued on his way.
He knew it was a flower shop the moment he rounded the corner. Numerous vases of flowers sat outside in the sun, and a redheaded girl with a tan apron was watering the flowers with a pink watering can.
"Wotcher, Lily," Sirius said, lifting a hand in greeting.
Lily pushed back her hair and set down the watering can as Sirius stopped in front of her. "Hey, Sirius. Where's James?"
"Glad to see you too," Sirius drawled sarcastically.
"Sorry. Hey Sirius, how are you, I'm doing fine, where's James?"
"I'm doing just fine, thank you," he said. "And your boyfriend decided to make an emergency stop to get you a last-minute surprise for Valentine's."
That piqued Lily's interest even further, and she looked at Sirius with new eyes. "A surprise?"
"Well, it's almost Valentine's, or haven't you noticed?"
Lily raised an eyebrow, picking up the watering can again. "I work at a bloody flower shop, Black. I cater to many besotted and desperate blokes around this time of year. Yesterday I had two blokes fight over one bouquet."
"Touche," Sirius acknowledged.
"Thank goodness I have a sensible boyfriend who doesn't get me tacky flowers like some cad," said Lily contentedly, and Sirius had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from chuckling. He nodded, and to spare himself from a busted gut, changed the subject.
"Are you the only one who works here?" he asked, gesturing to the shop.
"Heavens, no. There are a few more employees. We rotate every few hours. The next person should be here in a few minutes." Lily emptied the last few drops of water in the watering can on a vase of red roses.
"Damn, and I was hoping to get some alone time with you," he teased.
"You wish. Do you have any plans this Valentine's?"
"No, I'm going to empty one of those heart-shaped containers of chocolate into my stomach. Why?"
"I thought that we could double date."
"Sorry, but how are we going to find James a date this late?"
"Prat." She shot him a look and shoved the watering can into his arms. "I meant that I could find you a date, and you can come with us."
"Okay, but no," Sirius stated. "Firstly, I can find my own date, since you are shit at picking out dates for me. Yes, you are," he added as Lily opened her mouth. "Remember the horse girl? She didn't stop neighing throughout the entire date. And how about the guy who nearly jumped into the Thames because he was high? I don't trust you to find me a date."
"...Fine," she acquiesced. "I assume there's something else since you said firstly."
"That's right," Sirius said. "Secondly, I don't want to watch you and James making bedroom eyes at each other the entire time. It's disgusting, and frankly, it's awkward and uncomfortable."
"We can tone it down?"
"It's fine, Evans," he said firmly. "I'd rather you guys have a romantic date without my being there. And if I do have a date —"
"Lily?"
Sirius and Lily both spun around at the same time, Sirius expecting it to be James.
It most definitely wasn't James.
Instead, it was a fair-haired man with eyes the color of liquid amber — or perhaps it was warm honey. He was thin and sturdy and taller than Sirius. He was wearing a cardigan, an unusual choice of clothing for a man, but he pulled off the look flawlessly.
His eyes darted to Sirius and widened.
All the breath rushed out of Sirius's lungs.
What is this feeling?
"Remus!" Lily greeted the man affectionately, oblivious to the men staring at each other. "James will be here soon, thanks for coming."
Remus seemed to snap out of whatever trance he was in. "It's no problem, Lily. I hope I wasn't interrupting anything."
"Of course not. We were just talking about Valentine's. Speaking of, thanks for covering my shift that day."
"It's no problem," Remus repeated, his eyes still locked on Sirius's, who for the life of him could not look away. Lily glanced between the two of them, and a smirk formed on her lips.
"Say, would you like to —"
"Lily!"
This time it was James, jogging steadily towards them, and Lily's hands shot to her apron straps.
"Sorry I'm late, I had to run an errand. Here, let me help you with that." James began to untie the straps, and Sirius was forced to move out of the way, which meant he ended up uncomfortably close to Remus.
Remus was warm. Sirius could feel the heat emanating off of his body. Or perhaps Sirius was flustered.
He hadn't felt flustered like this in a long time; ordinarily, he was the one making people flustered. But Remus stole his breath in a cheesy, sappy sense — hell, Sirius never waxed poetry, and yet here he was, with this gorgeous man.
"Are you ready to go, darling?" James finally moved out of the fucking way, and Remus was able to slip around him into the shop, and Sirius was able to breathe finally.
"I am," Lily said sweetly, but her eyes fixated on Sirius. "But, I haven't gotten to introduce Sirius to Remus yet."
"Why would you need to — oh." Lily whispered something into his ear, and James's lips twisted into a mischievous smirk. "Yeah, I think our date can wait."
"Lily Evans, don't you fucking dare — "
"Come on, Sirius!" Lily singsonged as she dragged Sirius into the flower shop. "I've told Remus all about you, so it would be rude not to say hi, wouldn't it?"
Sirius let out a gasp that was half irritation, half resignation, and tried to pull his hand of Lily's. But it was futile. The bell jangled overhead, and Sirius looked at anything and everything but the counter.
"Don't be shy, Sirius!" the devil woman chirped. "Say hi!"
Sorry, James. Sirius was going to kill Lily.
"Hi," he muttered reluctantly.
"Hullo," said Remus softly. His voice was like melted butter — shit, Sirius was melting. How was it that he had met this man five minutes ago, and he was already half in love?
Cupid (or whoever was in charge of love) was so unfair.
(Sirius wanted to give them a throttling and a pay raise all at once, in no particular order.)
Lily wasn't satisfied with their simple greetings; in her eyes, that was a cardinal sin in the guidebook to setting up two people. Sirius could see her wheels turning.
"Maybe we could go on a double date sometime," she suggested, attempting to move things along.
Sirius finally found his tongue. "Didn't I just say that —"
"Not Valentine's," Lily said. "Some other day."
"Maybe not a date," Remus cut in. "Just — maybe talk over coffee or lunch?" He turned those devastatingly gorgeous eyes on Sirius, and he can't say no now.
"Fine," he agreed begrudgingly, "lunch sounds good." He tried for a smile, and it sort of works because Remus's lips curved into a smile too.
"I'm looking forward to getting to know you," Remus said, and it's with genuine enthusiasm that Sirius returns the sentiment. "Me too."
Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all.
James can't make it to lunch, so it's just Lily who accompanies them to lunch. Lily was brilliant at navigating conversations, so she was there to act as a buffer between him and Remus.
Remus was wearing a hunter green cardigan today. After a lot of debate and a five a.m. call to James (who was not amused), Sirius had chosen to go casual. He was wearing a black short-sleeved shirt with a flannel overshirt, and black ripped jeans.
He usually didn't care about clothes — sometimes, he would recycle outfits for dates — but a part of him that wouldn't shut up told him that he needed to impress Remus because he had never met someone like him before. Sure, he'd met people like him, people who emanated a bookish, nerdy vibe, but Remus was different. He couldn't explain the feeling, but Remus was just...different.
Or maybe it was time to try something new. Something simple, not glamorous. Someone simple and not glamorous.
Sirius felt a familiar yet foreign sensation in his stomach — butterflies fluttering their wings with vigor as Remus approached. Next to him, Lily gave him a nudge and beamed.
"Doesn't he look cute?"
"Lily, you're literally dating my best friend —"
"— so I'm not allowed to notice them? Please, Sirius, I have a functioning pair of eyes, and so do you."
"...All right, I guess he's attractive," Sirius admitted. "But I exchanged, like what, two sentences with the man? Stop trying to matchmake so damn hard."
He stopped talking just as Remus came into earshot. "Talking about me?" he ribbed, his words directed at both of them but his eyes on Sirius. Sirius struggled to keep his elation at bay as Remus's eyes traveled down his body.
"Of course we were," said Lily blithely. "Shall we go in, then?"
The door was wide enough for only two of them to walk in side by side, so Lily deftly maneuvered herself into the spot behind Sirius and Remus. Sirius was acutely aware of Remus's clothed arm brushing against his, their hands nearly touching.
Sirius almost yelped.
Lunch was simultaneously heaven and hell.
For one, Lily was still trying to play puppet master and matchmake them, so she made sure that Sirius and Remus were forced to sit next to each other. It would've made more sense to have them sitting across, but Lily seemed desperate.
Next, she decided to leave in the middle of the meal because James had an "emergency" — aka, a fake excuse to leave them together. It was a feeble excuse, but Lily delivered it flawlessly and got Remus to buy it.
If Sirius hadn't known Lily better, she would've convinced him too. She was a terrific actress.
Lily gave him a discreet wink as she passed by, and then it was just Sirius and Remus, suspended in awkward silence.
But this time, Sirius wasn't floundering.
"You have lovely eyes," he said.
"Oh — erm — thank you?" Remus ducked his head, blushing adorably, and Sirius's heart somersaulted. "I like yours too."
"Thanks." Sirius shifted in his seat, his fingers tapping his thigh. He glanced at Remus's clothes. "So, Lily tells me you used to be a librarian."
Lily had not told him any such thing. It's a blind shot, but Sirius hits the bullseye. Remus's face lit up. "I was!"
Surprise surprise, Sirius thought wryly, but he listened with keen interest — it was impossible not to. Remus was so animated when he spoke about something he was passionate about — hand gestures, his voice rising in pitch, and it was fascinating.
It was so easy to lose himself in this man; he was adorable, arresting, and passionate, and Sirius was so, so weak for him.
How did I fall for him so fast?
and
I never knew I could feel like this.
He was going to have to send thank you chocolates to Lily.
At the end of the not-date, he and Remus swapped phone numbers and kept in touch. "Kept in touch" was putting it mildly; he and Remus texted every day. They found a plethora of things to talk about, and Sirius's phone beeped every other minute.
He discovered hidden quirks in Remus's texts. He liked to apply proper grammar, capitalization and everything ("Grammar rules exist for a reason!"). He preferred not to use all caps for anything, not even when he was excited. But he loved GIFs and memes — frequently, that was all they used in conversations.
James made fun of him every time Remus texted — he would make obnoxious kissing noises, and was often spurred on by Lily. Sirius would whack him over the head, and things would go south from there.
One time, he received a text from Lily while she was at work, a rare occurrence. Lily seldom texted him during work, unless it was an emergency and she couldn't reach James.
Stop distracting my coworker! the text read, with an angry face emoji tacked on at the end.
what? it's not like im sending him anything naughty ;)
You know exactly what you're doing. STOP!
tsk, tsk, evans, are u texting during a shift?
I'm on break.
As much as I support this, please stop texting him while he's working! It's distracting and unprofessional.
fine, but u owe me
Owe you for what? For being responsible and not texting him WHILE HE'S WORKING?
perf, you already know
i take payment in the form of cash
This was not received well, and Sirius was temporarily blocked (temporary, as he knew Lily would unblock him soon enough. Blocking people was her way of throwing a fit, meaning Sirius had been blocked more times than he could count). This was something that didn't bother him at all.
He texted Remus anyway. Lily wasn't his boss. Nor was she Sirius's.
He saw the advertisement before Remus texted him about it. He may or may not have immediately clicked the link to apply, despite his track record of not being to hold down a job for more than a month and a half. The ad said they were looking for someone long term, but Sirius didn't care because the ad implied that he would work alongside Lily and, more importantly, Remus.
"I think you'll get it," said Remus over boba tea the day. "We haven't had many applicants, and you've got an in with two of the employees."
The word two made Sirius smile; he liked that Remus was included in that count.
Their relationship had recently veered somewhere north of just friends. They had a strong friendship, that was for sure, but beyond that, everything was vague.
Being around Remus was like teetering on the edge of a cliff. He could tumble into the roaring ocean below, lose himself entirely to the waves, or he could take a few steps back towards safety.
One way promised security. The other was risky. Sirius had not given his heart away in a long time. Remus was dangerously close, within arm's reach of stealing it.
He went on dates for a reason; they were meaningless and offered him nothing but sex with no strings attached. He had a strict no significant other policy because he didn't want his heart to break. Again.
Marlene McKinnon. She was blonde and pretty, one of his mother's friend's daughters, and she was the first to capture him. He was new at love, so everything he did felt like he was walking through a minefield, unsure of when one would explode in his face. Navigating through a relationship was tricky, but she helped him every step of the way. She made it seem so easy.
They laughed. They kissed. They fell in love. She would hold his hand, kiss his cheek when he did or said something stupid. Her eyes would sparkle when he said something funny. She loved moonlit walks on the beach, laying on a blanket and gazing at the stars, her golden hair fanned around her.
He almost married her. He proposed to her, bending on one knee under the stars, and she said yes. She kissed him silly that night, and they fell asleep after talking about what the future held for them.
And then he woke to her bloodcurdling scream, a knife lodged in her chest, and a hooded figure standing over her. He felt something sticky and wet, lifted his arm, and found the sheets drenched with blood. Her blood.
He screamed and lunged for the figure, but it merely melted into the night. They didn't even bother to close the window behind them. The sea breeze that came in after was almost taunting.
Sirius woke with a start, breathing hard and his heart thumping against his ribcage. His bed sheets were soaked, not with blood, but with sweat. He sat there for a moment, trying not to look at the moonlight as he attempted to banish the memory to the darkest part of his mind, where it belonged.
On instinct, he reached for his phone.
are you awake?
"Thanks for coming over," Sirius said as Remus took off his jacket and hung it on one of the hooks on the wall. For once, he'd forgone a cardigan in exchange for a long-sleeved shirt. Sirius himself had only pulled a ratty Manchester United sweatshirt over his head.
"I didn't know you owned something other than cardigans," Sirius teased.
"I didn't know you were a Manchester United fan," Remus replied without missing a beat. "I think we're going to have a problem since I'm a Liverpool fan."
"Liverpool? But aren't you half-Welsh?"
"Welsh people can like English teams," Remus said, executing a perfect eye roll. "My mum is from Wales, and she likes Liverpool."
"I still say Manchester United is better." Sirius led him into the kitchen. "James and I have always supported them since our school days."
"You have terrible taste, then," Remus retorted.
Bantering with Remus was fun and unexpectedly calming; it allowed Sirius to forget about his nightmare. Remus was also a seasoned tea maker, so he handled the kettle with ease.
"You only have earl grey?" Remus asked as he opened one of the cabinets. "Pity, I'll have to introduce you to other kinds. Particularly chamomile and lavender. Those are more soothing, I think."
Sirius sobered immediately as Remus swung around to look at him. He sensed that Remus was waiting for him to speak, but Sirius's throat closed up. Marlene's face flashed in front of his eyes.
"Take as long as you need," Remus murmured, turning back to the cabinet. The kitchen was silent as Sirius struggled to compose words.
"Marlene," he blurted out. "Her name was Marlene."
He rarely visited that part of his past, but with Remus, it was so easy.
i told him, he texted James and Lily the next morning, while Remus was snoring softly on his couch.
James texted back right away. told him what?
He started to type marlene, but he hesitated. His phone beeped, an incoming private text from Lily. Marlene?
This was easier to type. yes
There was a pause between texts then, presumably Lily telling James what Sirius had meant. Then James texts, how did it go?
His fingers dangled over the keyboard.
fine. he took it well
Are you going to be okay? (Lily)
Sirius glanced at the sleeping man on his couch. Not that he's trying to be creepy, but Remus looked so...child-like when he slept. The pale gold rays of the sun illuminate the planes of his face.
i think so
Sirius was not surprised when he received an email from the owner of Flower Hut, telling him that he had been chosen out of the "many applicants" (four, Lily had told him) to take the vacant position.
The first person he'd told was Remus, and Remus had reacted appropriately. He'd even used all caps and a string of emojis, something he'd never done.
When Sirius asked him why, all he got was a you're special and a winking emoji.
News alert: Remus Lupin could now destroy Sirius Black with a single text.
Remus was not there when Sirius walked into Flower Hut early Monday morning. Instead, Lily was arranging bouquets of lilies.
"Do not," she said without turning, as she could hear his thoughts. "I will end you."
"But then you'd never live your dream of seeing me shirtless," Sirius said cheekily.
"I have seen you shirtless, you dolt," she snapped. "You're not very impressive."
"Compared to who? James?" Sirius snorted. "Trust me, the only exercise he gets is when he's shagging you."
Pink blossomed on Lily's cheeks, and she opened her mouth. Then promptly closed it, as if she's trying to work out whether he's complimenting or insulting her.
Sirius didn't offer her clarification. "So, what am I supposed to do, oh lovely Lily?"
Sirius was not allowed to run the shop on his own; he had to have one of the other full-time employees with him. Usually, Lily or Remus trained him, with a few others in between.
One of the other employees, who went by Dorcas, he liked immensely. She was sharp and no-nonsense, and gay as hell. They got along fabulously.
The other employee, Peter, was quieter. He spoke in low, monotonous tones, and he had the likeness of a rat. He was skittish and watchful, as if someone would steal a vase from under his nose.
Sirius didn't know what to think of him, except that he was strange, but he supposed that Peter was helpful enough, restlessness aside.
Despite the early mornings, Sirius discovered that he was genuinely having a good time; he didn't have to deal with tiresome paperwork or angry bosses. The environment was comfortable and inviting with its cheerful decor and colorful arrangements of flowers. He would return home feeling drained yet satisfied, which allowed him to sleep dreamlessly.
Marlene, meanwhile, was beginning to dim and fade. While he would never forget her — her sunny smile, her sweet, musical laugh — she was merely becoming a figment of his past. She was no longer a permanent fixture in his life; that title was starting to belong to someone else.
Sirius glanced subtly at his coworker as he hummed an unfamiliar tune under his breath. Honeyed sunlight streamed in through the single window, illuminating his light brown hair. He looked almost ethereal, his figure outlined by the golden-yellow sunlight.
Sirius turned his head, heat burning in his cheeks, as Remus continued to sort through the flowers, unaware of Sirius's silent conundrum. We're alone. This could be the perfect time to say something…
"Hey, Sirius," Remus said, still facing away from him, and Sirius just about jumped out of his skin. "I have something to ask you."
Sirius stilled. "Yes?" he said, ashamedly a little breathless as his heart pounded with anticipation.
"I need your advice." Now Remus faced him, his face earnest. Sirius subconsciously leaned forward.
Will he ask…?
Remus rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, not meeting his eyes. "I — I fancy someone."
Oh. A little part of him had been expecting that, but Sirius had never expected that it would feel so crushing. Remus fancying someone that wasn't Sirius — he was so selfish, automatically assuming it to be him. Of course, Remus could fancy other people.
But that didn't make it any less gut-wrenching.
"I don't know what to say to h — them," Remus continued, unaware of something shattering in Sirius's chest. "I've been friends with them for a while now. I don't know how to go about crossing into new territory with them, or if they even want to. We have an excellent thing going on, and I don't want to ruin our friendship."
Sirius felt like something was constricting his lungs, but he managed to gasp out, "That sounds like a real pickle." Pickle? PICKLE?
Oddly enough, Remus's words spark a familiarity in him. Because you're going through the same problem, dumbass!
He marveled at the irony of the situation. Oh, how the mighty have fallen. He was about to give love advice to the person he might be in love with. Advice he doesn't plan on following, because if Remus liked someone else…
"If you ask me," Sirius began, fighting off the talons restricting his airways, "you should bide your time. Wait until you're sure that they're interested in you. Some signs can be misleading, so don't be tricked by those — wait until there's an absolute sign."
"And what if that sign never comes?"
"Then you've got your answer." Sirius's knuckles were white from gripping the edge of the counter so tightly. "In the meantime, drop some hints. Be as obvious or as subtle as you want. There's a chance they're waiting for a definite sign too if they return your feelings."
"That makes sense," Remus agreed.
Sirius hesitated. "I — I might not be the best person to ask," he admitted. "I haven't been in a relationship for a long time. You should ask Lily or James."
"I could, but I feel more comfortable around you."
Five minutes ago, Sirius would've leaped for joy, but after Remus's confession, he didn't feel the same. He forced a smile to his face. "Thank you," he said. "That's...good to hear."
Remus didn't seem to notice the distinct disappointment in his voice as he returned to sorting flowers, his humming now upgraded to merry whistling.
And Sirius was falling — falling into a sea of guilt, of despair, not unlike the time he'd lost her. Only it was different because Remus was alive and still glowing.
Marlene had glowed too, but now she was withering away. A new wave of sorrow threatened to overcome him, sorrow that he had buried along with her.
So now, staying away from Remus was probably for the best.
Gray eyes bore into him, cold and remorseless. "I'm terribly sorry it had to end this way," Lucius said, his lip curling. "But if you hadn't interfered, if you hadn't gotten involved with that stinking wretch, you wouldn't be here."
He plunged the knife towards Sirius's chest.
Sirius woke up this time with his jaws opened, a wail lodged in his throat. Not again! He threw off the covers and marched shakily into the loo. He splashed water on his face and caught sight of his haggard reflection in the mirror.
No wonder James said I look dreadful. They had been merely joking around at the time and James had mentioned it. Now, with his face sopping wet and fresh from the throes of a nightmare, he saw it. Saw the Sirius Black from his past. Saw the man from the dream.
Lucius Malfoy was in prison and he still found ways to torture Sirius.
"You seem off today," Remus remarked.
It was the morning after his nightmare. Sirius was absently sweeping the floor, gathering all of the excess stems, leaves, and potting soil into a pile. But more than once he had stepped on the pile and scattered it everywhere. What was a five-minute task had extended into a fifteen-minute struggle.
At the sound of Remus's voice, he looked up. "I'm fine," he said, but his assurance fell miserably flat. Remus's lips pursed.
"Was it another nightmare?"
Sirius didn't answer him immediately, his eyes training on the floor. He mindlessly swept a few stems into a small pile before speaking, his voice low and curt. "Yes."
He could feel Remus staring at him as if waiting for him to elaborate. He didn't feel inclined to. He didn't want Remus to know more than he was supposed to about that part of his past. He already knew about Marlene. That was where Sirius drew the line.
He turned his back pointedly.
Remus's expression was hidden from him, but knowing him, he was most likely hurt and confused. Sirius had never held back from him before; he was an open, honest man...except for when it came to certain events. Only three people knew about his past and one of them was rotting in a jail cell.
"Okay," said Remus stiffly, and Sirius picked up on his detached tone. "We don't have to talk about it. Just tell me, are you going to be okay?"
The abrupt shift from aloofness to concern had Sirius reeling for a few moments before he recovered. "Yeah," he said softly. "I'll be fine." He let the words hang for a bit before continuing. "I'm sorry, but I can't tell you. I don't think I'm ready to."
"That all right," Remus said. "I understand."
Sirius stalled, his fingers frozen on the broom. He suddenly ached to drop it and confess everything to this man, this wonderful, beautiful man. He longed to throw his arms around Remus and kiss him until they both couldn't see straight.
It was the most horrible and incredible feeling in the world.
Sirius wondered how long he would be able to go on.
"You fancy him." Lily was the one to voice the obvious, James nodding empathetically.
Sirius sighed. "A bit late to the party, mates." He took a swig of beer, the bitter alcohol burning in his throat.
Lily opted to sip. "Does he feel the same way?"
"If he did, we'd be in a bed right now instead of separate flats."
"So you haven't told him," Lily said, ignoring the acidic tone.
"No shit, Sherlock."
"No need to sound like a bird shit on your head," James said quickly, jumping to Lily's defense. "Do you ever plan on telling him?"
"No."
"Why not?"
Sirius let out a sharp, harsh laugh. "Because he told me he fancies someone else."
"Who's going to tell them?"
"More importantly, who's going to confess first? Him or Remus? My bet's on Remus."
"No fair, I wanted to bet on Remus!"
Sirius wasn't sure how he felt about Remus now. On one hand, he still fancied the bloke like mad, but on the other hand, he wasn't ready to fully open himself up. But Remus was an understanding person; he would handle it like a champ.
So why was he so afraid?
Because Remus seemed too pure for someone like Sirius. That didn't stop Sirius from fancying him, though, but it was something to consider.
The owner of Flower Hut seemed to like pairing them together for shifts — perhaps since Lily had specifically requested fewer shifts with Sirius because she claimed that Remus would be more patient with a new trainee. (She wasn't wrong.)
One morning, Sirius walked in on Remus talking to a woman.
No, not a young woman. This woman, in particular, was very familiar to Sirius — hell, he'd lived with her and her family for months and her son was his best mate and dating his coworker.
It was Euphemia Potter.
"Hey, Mrs. Potter!" Sirius called, striding forward and hugging her. "What are you doing here?"
"Sirius!" Mrs. Potter returned the embrace with enthusiasm. "I came by to check on the shop myself, and it seems like you all are doing pretty well." She pulled back and gazed proudly at Sirius.
Sirius opened his mouth but the bell above the door tinkled. James pushed his way in with Lily on his heels.
"Mum, I just got your text! Why are you here?"
"I own this shop, son," Mrs. Potter said, staring at James as if he'd suggested the sky was red. "Am I not allowed to come to visit?"
"Wait —" Sirius's mouth went dry. "You own this shop?"
"Of course! Didn't James tell you the news? I bought it shortly after you were hired."
Sirius leveled an accusing glare at his supposed best mate, who ducked his head with embarrassment. "No, he failed to pass this information along."
"James!" Mrs. Potter admonished, but Sirius's brain tuned her out as he put two and two together. Mrs. Potter was the owner of the shop...and James had probably been at her ear, secretly setting him and Remus up...and he had deliberately not mentioned this to Sirius, so he would not figure it out…
James was busy being chastised by his mum, so Sirius pulled his girlfriend. "Nicely done," he admitted in a whisper. "But it backfired since I found out that Remus likes someone else."
Lily smiled coyly. "Trust me, it didn't backfire. Not all of the cards have been revealed."
Sirius raised an eyebrow, wondering what she meant.
LE
Lily Evans had finally had enough.
She was so damn tired of watching Sirius and Remus dance around each other like a pair of oblivious idiots, of both of them being too scared to approach the other.
She wanted to punch someone. Or something. She wasn't terribly picky.
"Lily, love, I get where you're coming from," James said after one of Lily's Sirius-Remus rants ran late into the night. "But we can't force them to be together if they don't want it."
"But they do!" she insisted with a feverish light in her eyes. "I can practically feel the tension between them. They both want to say something but are afraid of it for some reason. I can't take it anymore, James!"
"Nor can your blood pressure," James said, eying her warily. "How's this — we take them on a group date but ditch them halfway through? Invent some fake emergency and get the hell out of there, leaving them alone together."
"...I knew there was a reason why I agreed to go out with you," Lily said happily. "I was wondering if I'd made a good investment."
"Hey!"
SB
Sirius knew exactly why he was here. James and Lily weren't as sly as they thought they were. Sirius was just playing along.
He and Remus sat ahead of the nauseating couple in the movie theater. They were whispering and giggling obnoxiously. Unlike the other three, Remus seemed genuinely interested in watching the movie, a cheesy rom-com with pathetic actors. He seemed captivated by the romance, leaning forward with his lips parted slightly, and Sirius found himself with the inexplicable urge to kiss him.
If only that didn't come with a thousand and one strings attached.
Afterward, the nauseating couple ditched them with some piss-poor excuse — "James wanted to check out the adult store!" Wink wink nudge nudge. And they'd run off to hide in some bushes, possibly to spy or to snog.
More or less, Sirius and Remus were alone. Together. Remus wetted his lips with his tongue and Sirius closed his eyes, stifling a tortured moan.
"Something wrong?" the man had the audacity to ask, standing there looking absolutely kissable.
Fuck, I can't do this anymore.
Sirius's next movements were partially his own; lust controlled the remainder. One hand rested on Remus's chest, the other reached up to grab the collar of Remus's cardigan. He rose on his tiptoes so that their faces were even, and then he kissed the man.
Remus stilled, but Sirius could feel the accelerated pulse of his heart under his fingers, beating at a pace not unlike Sirius's. Blood was roaring in his ears; his heart pumped, his body felt electrified.
And then slowly but surely, Remus responded. The noise in Sirius's body quieted.
He wasn't sure how long they stood there kissing, but it was not enough. He was addicted to the feeling of Remus's lips, how skillfully they moved, the way they tasted. They tasted of buttered popcorn and chocolate, salty and sugary sweet.
Why didn't I do this sooner? was the first coherent thought that entered his mind a mere moment after pulling back and all sound was restored. He could now hear his heart again, though it was starting to slow.
But naturally, mind and mouth were not synced — who could blame him, after his mind had been blown to smithereens? The first words that exited his mouth were, "Where did you learn to kiss like that?"
Remus looked disheveled, his lips swollen and red in the face, his hair mussed. "Does it matter?"
"No. Not at all." Sirius smirked. "Just teach me your ways, yeah? You can't be the only mind-blowing kisser between us."
Remus laughed. "That I can do." And this time, he was the one to reach for Sirius, bending a little and kissing him.
If he was going to die here and now, at least he would die happy because the best place to die was in Remus Lupin's arms.
The aftermath was not so simple.
Sirius took Remus to his apartment, where they broke the lonely silence within seconds of walking in. But they hadn't spent all night kissing.
Instead, they laid in each other's arms, talking about the past and the future — Sirius finally let down his walls and told Remus everything. It was a painful stroll down the memory lane, but Remus's presence made it a little easier to bear.
Next came the breakdown of what had happened the last few months — namely the whole "dodging around each other because we're oblivious gits" bit. Remus admitted to not fancying someone else; it had been Sirius all along.
("It was always you," he'd said, "and never anyone else. I knew it the moment I saw you for the first time.")
Finally, the discussion fo what came next. They weren't quite in love yet, but hovering in the gray area between "fancying" and "in love". Oh, they were falling for sure, but in love was still out of reach.
But what they did agree on was that moving in together would be for the best — both of them lived alone. It would be mutually beneficial as well as efficient.
After that, they'd fallen asleep, and Sirius had felt content for the first time in a while.
When they walked into the flower shop the next morning, James, Lily, and the rest of their colleagues were waiting there for them, although none of them were scheduled to work shifts that morning.
All pairs of eyes zeroed in on their interlocked hands and Lily was the first to react, screaming "Finally!" in a tone that was half joy, half exasperation.
They were swarmed and had to field no less than a hundred questions. At. Once.
This was going to be a long day.
Double dates were now on the table, much to Lily's delight and Sirius's chagrin, but he supposed it was fair — now Lily would get a taste of her own medicine, having to endure being around another ooey-gooey couple, and he hammed it up for her benefit.
When James proposed to Lily five months later, he did it at the most expensive restaurant and in front of an audience. Sirius tried to contain his laughter as James nearly mucked up the proposal and dropped the ring, but he did clap when Lily shouted a very elated, very loud, "YES!".
"Think we could do better?" he murmured to Remus, who sat next to him and looked impossibly handsome in his suit and tie.
Remus smirked. "Is that a challenge? Are you proposing to me?"
"Not yet," Sirius said. "But one day." He was rewarded by a pink blush blooming on Remus's cheeks.
"You've thought about it?"
"...Maybe. Once or twice." He took Remus's hand and squeezed it lightly. "Or maybe since James let it spill that he was going to propose to Lily. I've been thinking...maybe we could build something like that."
Remus nodded. "It's funny how it worked out...our story began at a flower shop, just like theirs did."
Sirius eyed the celebrating couple. "As much I'd love to continue talking about this, there's a glass of champagne with my name written all over it. Besides, Lily'll castrate us both if we don't at least give them a hug."
"That'd be a right shame," Remus said, eyes sparkling. "That would derail any plans I had for you tonight."
When the proposal does happen, it's not extravagant. No audience. No expensive venue.
Flower Hut was cleared out to make space for a two-person table. Sirius does the setup beforehand with Mrs. Potter's expert oversight. James and Lily distracted Remus until Sirius was ready. They beamed at him from the outside, and James texted him good luck, Lily a you've got this!
Sirius didn't waste time with a sappy, overextended proposal speech — he just blurted out, "Will you marry me?" before he realized that he was supposed to drop to one knee and then propose.
It's not suave at all, but Remus shouted "Yes, yes, yes!" and practically launched himself forward into Sirius, bowling him over and causing him to drop the ring.
It's not perfect. Nowhere near perfect. But it's theirs.
7050 words
FINALLY, after late nights, a few tears, and lots of googling synonyms, this monster fic is FINISHED.
Thanks to my lovely Hufflepuff housemates, who had to hear me moan and fangirl over wolfstar. There are many loose ends, which I don't plan on tying up — but maybe I wlll, when it's not 1am and I want to crash.
Written for:
Auction - Florist!AU
Pinata - Medium: The Potter family
(more to be added later)