A/N towards the end of this chapter sensitive subjects such as bulling and self harm are briefly talked about.

I spent the rest of the weekend with my ohana just hanging out and having fun. We all went swimming, sailing, surfing, jungle walking pretty much anything any of us wanted to do. And however much they say it wasn't for me I new it was but I didn't mind as they truly are about me and me about them. Monday came far to quickly for my liking especially as i hadn't looked at my phone since Friday due to the fear of what was to come, but knowing that I couldn't hide away for ever I woke up and got ready for school.

Walking down the stairs I could smell pancakes so followed my nose into the kitchen.

"Morning Grace" Steve said from his place at the stove

"Morning Uncle Steve" I responded making my way towards the stove "They smell really good"

"I know right" he replied grinning like a toddler "There almost done so why don't you get us both a orange juice and we shall eat"

"Sure" I responded before grabbing us both a glass of juice and sitting down on the counter stools. A few minuets later Steve brought over our pancakes and we ate them whilst chatting and joking around. At about 7:45 I left for school everything was fine and I was looking forward to seeing my friends apart from Jake who was at home recovering still.

Pulling into the parking lot at school I went to a far comer which was quieter so wouldn't have to worry about finding a space in the crowded part which is closer to the buildings. As I had 20 minuets before school started I decided to check my phone for the first time since Friday. This however turned out to be one of the worst decisions of my life. Over every single social media platforms that everyone has was photos/videos of us kissing, holding hands and being beaten-up. Everyone was roasting us, saying I was a slut, telling me how i was stealing Jake away from people who deserved him and so much more. Incredibly close to tears I decided that just to shove it in there face i was going to go to school and not be affected by what happened on the weekend.

Jumping out of my truck I pulled up my sports leggings, straightened my crop top and grabbed my bag out of the trunk. walking towards school a few juniors walked past pointing and laughing. Brilliant. Just fucking brilliant. even the little years know. Realizing today was going be a long day I just sighed and continued walking towards my locker. The entire way people were talking and pointing but I kept my head down and didn't rise knowing it would simply fuel the fire.

First lesson was chemistry and as soon as I walked in I realized that my place with my friends was now occupied with someone else from our class so I turned away and went over to the only empty double table and kept my head down. About half way through the lesson whilst I was getting on with work I heard a conversation from my old table of six

"Jake deserves so much better" Jason started

"I totally agree anyone is better than that slut" someone eles replied

Ii can't believe shes been in our group all these years when shes so self focused and all over guys"

"I just think it's sad that Jake got pulled in to all this mess"

This conversation carried on all lesson with them being iver oblivious to the fact I could hear them or just didn't give a fuck, and that wasn't even the worst part two of my best friends Meg and Katie joined in like not on the same level as the others but they joined in and didn't stop it. By the end of the lesson I was so close to bursting into tears I was impressed that I kept it together whilst we were ll packing up. As I had a free period next I decided to spend it in the library hoping i wouldn't have to hear anything else/anyone else's opinion on the whole situation. Unfortunately for me luck wasn't on my side. Settled in a corner of the library I started reading hoping to forget about my problems but either because they ad followed me or because they had an assignment due a group of the popular girls from my year were in there gossiping.

After about 15 minutes i'd had enough and ended up bursting out into tears and ran out of the library and all the way to my car. Once i'd climbed inside I completely broke down. Crying, sobbing, shaking to the point I couldn't breath. I was in this state for about half an hour until I was able to control my breathing enough to sit up in the seat. Instantly I knew I needed something that would numb the pain so I did something a year and a half ago id sworn never to do again. Leaning forward I grabbed the knife I kept in the glove box. Pushing down my sports leggings so I could access my hips I ended up cutting. Not just once. Or twice. But over and over it was like an old machine inside me was switched on again. I cut not just one side of me but both sides. While I was cutting the old feeling of numbness came flodding back to me. The part where i'm able to remove all emotion in order to relive my emotional pain. None of my family new. None of my ohana new. None of my friends new. No one ever new i'd cut before and I plan on keeping it the same this time. None can know.

I knew as I didn't swipe my badge to leave campus or the car park that the school would still have me marked as in, so for the rest of the day I sat in my car. Not doing anything. Not thinking being. I was stuck in a load of hate not just by who I thought were my friends and people who I new didn't like me all of them were targeting me. For something teenagers don't have a grip on, emotions. They were targeting me for being a teenager not just on a small scale - by a friendship group- not on a medium scale - one year group- but on a huge scale - one whole school. And I just new it wasn't going to get any easier.

I'd completely lost track of time spent starring out of my window when the noise level in the car park rocketed signalling home time,so pulling my self out of my trance like state I started my truck and drove to uncle Steve's.