"Knock, knock."

Tony glanced round and smiled as Pepper crossed the lab floor towards him. "You know, you don't need to say 'knock, knock' when the door literally slides open for you."

"Hello to you too."

He set down the screw driver, and swirled his chair towards her. "I thought you were in LA for meetings until Friday."

"I was."

"But?"

"But after your message, I thought you might need some emotional support."

"Hand to hold? Shoulder to cry on? Sweet but I'm fine."

"It's okay if you're not."

"If you want to go comfort someone, try Nat. Barton was her friend."

"He was your friend too."

Tony shrugged, and picked back up the screwdriver, fiddling with it between his fingers. "Yeah, well. These things happen," he said, trying to sound casual.

"I'm just worried. You're not always one to talk about your emotions and you're not exactly the most trusting person as it is."

He shrugged. "Looks like I've got good reason."

"Sentences like that are exactly why I'm worried." She took one of his hands. "I just want you to know that I'm here if you need to talk about it. I know the Avengers are important to you. So I know, however flippantly you will pretend to deal with this, that it does hurt."

He stared up at her. She was right of course. Pepper was always right. But he wasn't about to admit that thoughts of Clint had been chased around the inside of his head by memories of Obadiah. So instead he flashed a grin and winked.

"If I pretend to tear up do I get a kiss?"

She rolled her eyes, but kissed him nonetheless.

Clint opened his eyes. For a moment, he couldn't remember why he was back at the farmhouse, he couldn't remember why his brain felt like a twisted knot, and then it all came crashing back, that one moment of oblivion making the knowledge that much worse.

He heard the sound of laughter downstairs. Cooper's he thought. Glancing at the clock on the nightstand, he noticed it was late afternoon. He let out a sigh and dragged himself out of bed. There was nothing to be gained by avoiding the inevitable. And in this case the inevitable was getting out of bed and figuring out how to keep on going.

Downstairs, Lila and Cooper were sitting at the kitchen table. Lili was playing with Legos, as Cooper colored. Laura was in the background, baking. She always baked when she had something on her mind.

For a moment, Clint stood and watched them, and felt a flicker of joy. This was one thing he'd done right.

And then he reminded himself, no. He hadn't done this. Laura had done this. All that was good in this house was due to Laura.

He cleared his throat and came over to the table.

Cooper beamed up at him. "Hey! Mom said not to wake you."

Clint ruffled Cooper's hair then bent down to give them both hugs.

"Are you sick Daddy?" ask Lila. "Mommy always lets us sleep late when we're sick."

"No. I'm not sick." He took a chair at the table. "But I do need to talk to you two about something serious for a moment, okay?"

"Are we in trouble?" asked Cooper frowning, mentally running through any recent pranks or adventures that might have been outside the spirit or letter of the law.

"No, you're not in trouble Coop."

"Sweetheart," it was Laura, "are you sure you want to do this now?"

"Yeah," he flashed her weak smile, "I need to do this now."

"Okay."

"What's wrong Daddy?" asked Lila, her face already concerned and worried. She had heart, so much of it. Clint clinched his fist under the table. He had to be strong. He had to get through this.

"Well I need to explain something to you. You're might have questions, you might not understand. And I will do my best. But…I'm not an Avenger anymore."

"Why not?" asked Cooper, staring at him, wide-eyed, shocked.

"I…did something bad. I worked for some people, for a very long time, who were bad. I told a lot of lies, and those lies were found out. I made a mistake, and I regret it. More than I can…" He stopped, stared down at his hand that was resting on the table and took a deep breath. "I'm so sorry that I let you both down."

He glanced up at them. Lila was looking confused and upset. He sensed that she was picking up at his own mental state and that was making her more upset than actually understanding what he was saying. But Cooper was getting a bit more. Clint saw the shock on his face, the confusion, the hurt.

"So…what happened with the Avengers?" asked Cooper.

Clint resisted the urge to wince. He met his son's gaze. He owed Cooper that. "I told lies to them too. They couldn't trust me anymore. They let me come home."

"Oh." Cooper's fingers started tearing at the coloring page in front of him.

"Cooper…I'm really sorry. I made bad choices. Bad choices that I really regret. I know I let you down bud. And I regret that more than anything. Because you, Lila, your mom, you're the most important things in the world to me. More important than the Avengers, more important than everything. And I'm so, so sorry."

Cooper's fingers stilled. He glanced up at his father, than towards his mom, and then back at Clint again. He shrugged. "I know." He smiled at his dad. It was a weak smile. It was forced, but it was forced because he wanted to make his dad feel better, because he loved his dad, and Clint could feel that love right now, for a brief moment, more than anything else. "Their loss anyways."

Clint chuckled. He didn't have much heart for it. But he felt touched. He realized Lila had slipped over beside him and she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him on the check.

All he could think was: I don't deserve this.