"Hope is a dangerous thing for a woman with my past."—Lana
Chicago.
I was amazed at how the city had grown. Buildings and the people. Everything had changed. From home to foreign land. It was the first time in ten years. And I didn't know if I should cry or laugh at the situation.
I was watching the street lights passed in blur from the window car. It was getting close and I felt cold inside out. I never imagined coming back home like this.
The house still stood giant and strong. Old, like our family name. Generations of Masen resided here. Memories struck me at once as the car parked in the driveway. I held my scream and tears so I didn't ruin the deafening silence. No one moved an inch for a solid five minutes. Until Edward decided to get out. Not long after that, my door was held open.
I tightened my jacket as I stepped on the ground. The wind was worst in the early morning. I would rather be outside, though. For the sake of my sanity.
We walked inside. It was dark and eerie. I was emotionally tired of the waves of memory.
Some of the furniture was new, but nothing changed drastically. All of a sudden I was feeling overwhelmed. My feet were shaky I almost stopped in the middle of the room. I had been here so many times I lost counts.
I spent most of my childhood and teenage life here. Me and Alice, we were inseparable. Just like our brothers. Bonded by soul.
We were two young girls against the world. We lived at best, the world served us.
We used to be a picture perfect. Before reality choked us in the neck.
Don't cry. Not yet. I reminded myself.
I couldn't. Not in front of him. He had had me in the weakest state.
He didn't turn around. Which I was grateful for.
We walked upstairs and my steps were heavy. I knew this corridor anywhere. In the end of this corridor was Alice's room. Her room was big enough for two, five even. Then, across hers would be Edward's. If nothing changed. I used to whine to my Mom so I could spend the night at the Masens. Every freaking night. I was such an annoying child.
He stopped and looked at me.
Right now I was barely breathing.
The door was opened. I stepped inside and it was vacant. No Alice, only her things. She had not been here in forever.
Edward was still in the hallway, keeping the distance. His mind was at chaos, too because he was quiet the whole time.
Life had flipped the coin and we were the remains of the damage.
I turned around and closed the door. Almost automatically.
Our eyes met only for nanoseconds, but that was enough for me to find the pain in his. Broken people caught up in wrong twisted fate.
I fell on the floor because I couldn't take it anymore.
I cried. Cried so hard even though I was aware he was listening outside the door.
Just for this one. I promised myself. Tomorrow I would be back stronger.
He took a deep breath like he was dealing with his own misery. I could almost see his hand hovering over the door handle. Because it was intentional this room had no lock. Instead, he turned around and opened his own room.
We were two broken people, crying for help from above.
I was dreaming the past. Mostly about Alice. About our late night conversations by the window. Accompanied by the moonlight and smokes.
I missed it. I missed her more than I could admit.
Where was she right now? How did she cope with her loss?
Because we were the victims that involved. And since that day, we had deleted each other from our life. From sisters to strangers. We had to choose. And family always came first.
I was awake by the knocks on my door. It was so noisy outside. A woman voice.
"Ms. Bella, can I come in?"
I didn't answer, but she opened the door anyway. Her head poked in. She turned out to be a middle-aged woman. A big smile on her face.
I had never seen her before.
"The lunch is ready and Mr. Masen wants to see you before he goes." That motherly smile again. It was calming. Only if the situation was different.
"Okay." I said. I couldn't hide here forever.
She nodded a thank you and closed the door.
I got up and showered. I didn't know what I should prepare for this war, but for the start, at least I looked decent. I stole jeans and sweater in the closet. Alice and I were on the same size. We had shared clothes since we were seven.
I walked down the stairs. Towards the kitchen I knew too well. Food was served on the table. Edward was sitting on one of the chairs in his suit that I hated so much. His smirk when he saw me only meant one thing. The game had started. And this one sure as hell had no exit button.
I pulled a chair in front of him and sat.
"Did you sleep well?" he simply asked.
He knew I didn't but I replied with, "Of course."
I casually poured my coffee. His eyebrow was raised at my choice. He knew I hated that thing with passion. But I managed to sip the black coffee without wincing while he was watching curiously.
"I'm glad." He said, half-assed.
I scooped the mashed potatoes to my plate and took a bite. We were eating like normal people for one second.
"Where's everyone?" I inquired, dancing around the edge.
"Who do you mean by everyone?" he replied, playing dumb. He knew exactly what I meant.
"Alice, Esme." I said. He should know that I didn't give a shit anymore.
He tensed a little. A long pause before he said. "Somewhere."
They weren't here, then.
"Must be so lonely." I commented. Which I regretted immediately. It was a wrong thing to say.
"Well, you're here now." He grinned devilishly.
The grip on my forks tightened.
I was a second away to stab his hand with it when the woman from earlier entered the kitchen. "I'm sorry, Sir, I forgot the dessert." She said with that huge smile again. It became sickening.
"It's okay. I gotta go anyway." He stood up and walked over me.
She opened the fridge. "Do you want one, Ms. Bella?"
"Yes. She will have one." He replied on my behalf, standing right behind me. I got goose bumps all over as he suddenly wrapped his arm around my shoulder. "Don't you?" he whispered.
I dug my nails on his skin as he kept me on my seat. My body was alarmed. I felt the rush in my blood at his proximity.
"Welcome home." He murmured, kissing the top of my head like he had no shame. This shit caught me off guard. How dared he.
My nails digging deeper, but this man didn't even wince. "Go to hell." I hissed. Those words made him grin wider.
"Only if you come with me." He said.
I spent the day in Alice's room, puffing the cig I found in the drawer. All day I was feeling anxious. Thinking about scenarios, how this would play. I came up with nothing. I had no idea what he was thinking.
Martha—the middle-aged woman that was likely to be everywhere—brought the food to my room even though I had told her I wasn't hungry. She insisted saying I should eat something. I gave up and said okay, but I didn't even touch it.
Edward was home around nine. I heard it clearly. His steps in the empty hallway. When I realized he stopped outside my door, I unconsciously straightened my spine. I stared and counted in my head.
But he never came.
His door was opened and closed with a heavy sigh.
I was dreaming about the past again. About Edward and Jasper and all the shit they went through. Betrayal that kept them apart. No one was ever going back from this. We couldn't mend what was broken. We had lost fathers and we were driven by hatred until this day. This would never end.
It was ten a.m when I wake up. I was sweaty and nervous and hungry as hell. The food in my room had gone—Martha had to take it—so I didn't have a choice but going downstairs. There were a few people in the sitting room. Not the kind of 'business involved' people that made me going back upstairs when I was a child. They looked almost normal. A woman that looked in charge and her assistants that pushed racks full of gowns into the room.
"Ah, good morning! You must be a woman Mr. Masen talks about! My name is Jessica Stanley, I'm Mr. Masen's stylist!" she chirped. It was too loud in the morning. She approached me enthusiastically, taking my hand to shake it. A smile that made me cringe was plastered across her lips.
"What is it all about?" I had a headache just looking at this room. It was crowded.
"The gala tonight. Did he not mention it?" she was all excited and shit. I furrowed my brows confused. What the hell was happening? "I'm here to style you for the gala. He says to bring the gowns first in the morning. I have many options for you to choose. I think the Versace—"
"Where is he?" I cut her off.
"In the kitchen I think."
I walked off to the kitchen right away. He was there, sitting in the usual chair, the laptop in front of him. He was busy typing away something, but the corner of his lips curled up when he saw me. The fucker was enjoying my misery.
"Morning."
"I'm not coming with you." I said, straightforwardly.
He tilted his head like I was talking alien. "Why not? You used to like this kind of shit before." Flash of memory. Sixteen years old me getting ready for our parents' annual charity gala. Alice and I were always excited about the gowns, the glamour and beautiful people in it. Our brothers didn't give a single shit, though. They attended because they had to. Boys would be boys.
He smirked, knowing what I was thinking. "The party, it's all yours, baby."
"What the hell are you planning?" I gritted my teeth. Nothing good would come from this I fucking knew it.
"Rumors circulate around the city. Now everyone is curious." He shrugged nonchalantly. "Why don't we tell them, then?" My jaw hardened knowing what was coming. "That Isabella Visconti is back?"
"You're crazy."
"And you're afraid." He replied flatly.
"I'm not."
"So, prove it." Those emeralds were challenging.
Our families were well-known for generations. Old money. Supporters of dirty politicians and corrupted cops. We owned the government. We were running this city. There was a lot of rumors surrounded us. But people would keep their mouth shut for good reasons. For ten years, Visconti was unheard of. The name was wiped out. We disappeared like we never existed.
This was the first time in forever I would be seen out in public. And I was coming with the famous Edward Masen. Local newspapers would be going wild. I couldn't fucking imagine.
I was looking at the reflection in the mirror. Me in this beautiful gown. The French tulle, in tones of glacier blue. Floral motifs and delicate crystal embellishments. Thigh slit and deep V cut in front. My hair was half pulled up. My makeup was minimal.
Jessica was standing behind me. She was proud of herself.
"It's perfect." She already said it a thousand times. I rolled my eyes.
"Okay." I didn't want to say anything else.
Edward was waiting on me downstairs, wearing a black tuxedo and an evil grin. He held out a hand in my last step. I accepted it. Until I figured out the game he was playing.
We didn't say anything to each other.
His custom black Ferrari was parked in the driveway. I let him open my door. But once we were inside, I was riding back the memory lane. He read my mind almost immediately because then, he glanced at me, saying. "Remember your silly high school Homecoming I didn't want to be part of?"
I looked straight ahead impassively, trying to block the images on my mind. "You were coming anyway."
"How could I not when you begged me like that?" A cocky smile in place. I hated him so much.
"What the hell did I see in you?" I asked rhetorically. He chuckled as if I just made a funny joke.
Thirty minutes later, we arrived at the venue of the gala.
My door was held open and suddenly I felt myself suffocating. This used to be my scene. But damn it, it was a long time ago. Now I was no one. Non-existent. What was he trying to do? Announcing my comeback hand-in-hand with him? He was really out of his mine.
I calmed my breathing as soon as he asked in a mocking tone. "Nervous, huh?"
I slid out the car with a new determination. His lips lifted up slightly. He helped me stand and find my balance in these five-inch Manolos. Then, we walked the entrance and posed. His hand on my waist. Lips faked a smile like we were lovers. We were soon blinded by flash of camera. To say paparazzi was going wild would be an understatement. At first, they were only yelling his name, but when they realized who I was, they were switching their attention.
"Isabella Visconti?"
"Bella? Is that you?"
"Look at here, Bella!"
"Bella!"
"Bella!"
I couldn't stand here for another ten seconds. Edward looked like he was holding back his laughter. The fucker had a nerve. I skipped the questions and continued walking. Edward followed right by my side.
The room was packed. Full of elites, sipping wine, talking about money. Most of them turned their head when they caught us entering. Eyes surprised, lips whispering. Some people were approaching us either because Edward was simply drawing attention or because they were simply curious about me.
"Mr. Masen, I don't think I will see you here." One old man greeted him. I knew him somewhere. This room was filled with familiar faces because we all grew up in the same society.
"Well, I can't miss another party." He replied.
The man glanced at me. Smiling, but his eyes were judging. "Ms. Visconti? I'm glad that you're back."
I smiled. "Oh, me too." It was a big lie.
We were having conversation with the others for quite sometime until Edward decided he had enough. Me, on the other hand, had fed up from the start. I met old friends, saying hi even though I didn't remember that much. Edward was keeping up with my bullshits, though, hiding his grin by sipping a drink.
The charity had begun. Then it was continued by dinner and the other boring stuffs. We were engaged in another lame conversation. I really couldn't take it anymore.
"I want to go home." I said out of the blue, cutting off the girl that was talking to him since we joined this table..
"After you dance with me." He said instead. Eyes light up with mischief. I emptied my fourth glass before getting up from my chair. He smirked, following me right after.
We were standing in the middle of the room, joining some pairs that were dancing slowly to the music. He put his hands on my waist, too low for my liking and I put mine on his shoulders.
My head felt light as we swayed slow.
"You're so beautiful." He murmured against my ear.
I rolled my eyes. Because I didn't need this shit. My hands sneaking up to his neck, tugging back his hair, enough to put a distance between us. "Don't start."
Hu chuckled low. "What?" Of course he had to pull me close until there was no gap between us. Locking me in his arms when I tried to move away. "Don't you miss me after all these years?"
"You have taken everything. Isn't it enough?" I hated that I sounded so emotional.
His smile on my temple as my fingers pressing his carotid. "You're not the only one that has lost everything."
"What do you want from me?"
A pause before he replied. "You. All of you."