Chapter 2
"Xenna, I need you to run. Run and don't look back!"
"But Master!"
"Go!"
Xenna watched the door to their ship close, Master Swan still fighting off the troopers as the engines fired. She was trying to make sure the young padawan would have a safe escape. Xenna tried not to give in to the fear and trepidation that seared through her chest and squeezed it tight. She tried not to scream at seeing her master fall to the blaster fire. Master Swan would never know how Xenna had cried for what felt like hours on her way to an unknown planet. Xenna would remember the sight of her master's death forever. She would be haunted by the sight of one she knew to be so powerful fall at the hands of troopers they had trusted. The trooper that shot her master had given her piggy-back rides just the day before. The one who tried to shoot Xenna as she boarded the ship had ruffled her hair and wished her luck in her training just that morning. In a matter of seconds, her whole world had been changed. Now, she was heading to a planet to find old friends of her master and hope that they would help her. She was sure she would never be safe again.
Xenna sat up suddenly with a gasp. She tried to rip herself from the awful memory that had grown into a recurring nightmare and instead figure out where she was.
"Xenna!"
"Nirah!" Instantly, her anxiety faded back at the sight of her unharmed sister flying in for an attack hug. The impact hurt her sore ribs, but she would never deny the gesture. She was just glad her sister was safe with her.
"I'm so glad you're awake!" Nirah said, pulling back to beam up at her still slightly confused sibling.
"Where are we?" Xenna asked, looking around and spotting who she now remembered where their surprise saviors.
"Welcome to the Stinger Mantis," a dark-skinned woman said as she smiled down at the girls in a motherly way. Next to her was a young man, looking to be around Xenna's age with shocking red hair. This was the Jedi who had fought with Xenna, she remembered. Scrambling to her feet, she felt suddenly awkward facing another of what she thought to be her extinct kind.
"You're a Jedi," she breathed, feeling a bit idiotic for pointing out the obvious, but unable to control her surprise and wonderment.
The man turned bashful, pushing his hair out of his eyes. "For what it's worth, yeah."
"Xenna," Nirah insisted, pulling at her sister's hand. "They saved us."
"I gathered that, thanks," Xenna replied, still feeling out of the loop. Turning to her rescuers, she thanked them. "I don't think we would have made it had you guys not shown up."
"Eh, we're used to it," came a voice from the cockpit. Xenna looked around the corner to see a Lateron pilot flying through hyperspace as though it was just a regular day. Nirah bounded past and hopped into the copilot seat, rapidly asking questions about the capabilities of the ship. Leave it to her sister to make friends without proper introductions.
"I'm Cere Junda," the woman said, offering her hand. "That's Greez Dritus," she gestured to the pilot. "And this is Cal Kestis," she waved at the man beside her.
"Xenna Shino. That's my sister, Nirah Amas." She shook hands with the two in front of her, aware that her sister had fully engaged the pilot in a debate on the most efficient ships. She could not help shaking her head at the girl's antics.
"You were pretty impressive out there with those troopers," Cal remarked, still looking a bit shy. Perhaps he was as surprised to find a fellow Jedi as she was.
"Thanks. You weren't too bad, yourself."
He shrugged. "I've had some practice lately."
Xenna raised an eyebrow but let the subject be. She had a more pressing thought to explore. "So, how did you guys find us, anyway? I mean, if you hadn't swooped in when you did, Nirah and I would have been…" she trailed off, not wanting to think of her sister coming to the same end as her master.
"Well, after receiving your transmission, we could hardly turn our backs," Greez said from the cockpit.
"Transmission? What transmission?" Xenna asked, coming into the crowded space. Cere quietly took up a post at the coms, while Cal hung back in the doorway by the holotable. "Our ship has been out of commission for two weeks now and I certainly didn't—" She stopped. If she had not sent the message, then there was only one other person who could. The person who was now sinking lower into the copilot chair as though it could hide her.
"Nirah!" Xenna exploded, making everyone but the guilty girl jump.
Silence stretched for just a few seconds but they felt like hours as Xenna tried to comprehend what her sister had done. "Do you have any idea how dangerous sending a transmission was? Do you realize that you might have led the Empire right to us?! I can't believe you would be so reckless! When were you planning on telling me about this?"
"When we were rescued?" Nirah murmured hopefully.
Xenna groaned, turning away from the girl who looked back at her with those big, innocent, gold eyes. Those eyes that had seen more hardship than Xenna wanted to admit.
"And what if we hadn't been? You can't just send out general transmissions. You never know who's listening."
"She actually had the code used among the Rebellion," Cere put in, only half-involving herself in the argument.
"How'd you do that, by the way?" Greez asked, trying to break the tension.
"What, like the code was hard to crack?" Nirah replied smugly. This earned her a laugh from Greez, but Xenna was still too upset to let it pass.
"Nirah, all your life I have been teaching you how to be cautious and safe. How could you go and do something like this?"
"Maybe because I was tired of running!" Nirah shot back. "All you do is run away. You never fight!"
"Because I'm trying to protect you! I promised your parents that I would keep you safe. I can't do that if you go around behind my back and lie to me."
"We got rescued. Why are you not happy about that?"-
"I am!"
"Then stop yelling!"
Xenna did stop. Her breath stopped for a moment as she felt the heat in her face. She felt a pull in a dark part her that told her to keep going. She felt the uncertainty of the people around her. From behind her, she felt Cal shift his stance to one more ready for aggression.
Taking a breath, she tried to compose herself, even as tears started to cloud her vision. Her master had taught her to control her temper by breathing and focusing on something other than what was bothering her. The flickering lights of the control panel caught her eye and she saw her salvation in the warning flash of a faulty relay. It was at least a momentary escape, but she was determined to take what she could get.
"I'm going to go see if I can fix those relays," she muttered before turning and walking to the rear of the ship where she could hear the engines humming. She tried to block out the emotions of everyone around her. It had been a long time since she had lost control like that. Fear had crept into the crack in her heart, and although the crack may never fully heal, it was her responsibility to wash it clean.
Inside the engine room, she let herself cry for a moment in the nearly overwhelming noise of the turbines. There was a comfort in being swallowed sometimes. It could also be cleansing to release her emotions this way.
Cal walked in to find her in this state; crying and fixing the control box that sat on the wall at the foot of his bunk. He wondered if he should have come when she looked up at him with her tearstained face quickly filling with embarrassment.
"Sorry. I just thought you might want some help," he said, turning to go.
"Wait," she called over the din. He paused and looked back to see her sigh. "I'm the one who should be sorry. You all risked your lives to come save us and all I've done is blow up at my sister. I am grateful, I just…I'm not used to getting help."
Cal knew the feeling and smiled. "Let's start small, then." He came over and crouched next to her. They both examined the control box and worked in near silence. This was clearly not the first time the relay had been fixed, though it might be the first time anyone with more than a few seconds to spare had worked on it.
Xenna tried not to laugh as Cal muttered under his breath over how he should have looked at this sooner. Nirah had noted her sister doing the same thing many times while Xenna was working.
"So," she said, breaking their working silence. "Given your age, I would guess we would have been at the Jedi Temple around the same time."
Cal snapped his focus away from the wiring he was trying to clean up. He had not been sure how to broach the subject of their potentially shared experiences and was glad to have her take the lead. "Yeah, I guess so. I'm afraid I don't remember you, though."
Xenna looked at him for a moment, trying to place his face. "I think I may have seen you once or twice in passing." At his surprised glance, she cast her gaze up to his hair. "It's hard to forget that shade of red."
Cal huffed a laugh, trying not to blush. "Who did you train with?" he asked, hedging around the subject they both knew was tender.
"Master Swan. She was there at the beginning of the Clone Wars, but was a pacifist. She always encouraged me to find an alternative to fighting whenever possible."
Cal nodded, seeing that this was where the clashing opinions of the sisters originated. "Master Tapal believed that we should not seek out fights, but know how to defend ourselves in one."
Silence stretched between them again, their shared grief weighing down the air. It was not until the relay was fixed and the control box closed up once more that either dared to speak again.
"Where did you learn to fix ships?" Cal asked, hoping that this would lead to brighter topics of conversation.
"Nirah's father. He used to fix anything from speeders to luxury cruisers. He was always happy to show me how everything worked. He was a good man."
"So Nirah's not your blood relative?"
Xenna shook her head. "Her family had been friends of Master Swan's and I was sent there during the Purge on Coruscant. They took me in without question, promising to hide and care for me as though I was their own. Even when they had Nirah, I was always treated like their daughter. Once the Empire came, however, Nirah and I had to flee. Her parents sacrificed themselves so that we could escape. Nirah was barely three at the time. We've been running ever since."
She looked up to see not shock, but understanding in Cal's eyes. "I never had a family until Cere and Greez took me on. I lived on Bracca after Master Tapal died. I became a scrapper and tried to keep my head down. I joined the Mantis crew when they saved me from an Imperial Inquisitor."
"Was that what we fought on Elrood?" Xenna asked, getting a chill from the memory of the Sith woman.
"Yeah. I've fought quite a few. They were Jedi who turned to the Dark Side after the Purge. Some just to survive, others because they think it makes them stronger."
Xenna shook her head. She would always feel the pull of the Dark Side, as any force-sensitive being would, but her job as a Jedi would be to deny it. Sometimes that was easier said than done.
Noting her somewhat downcast mood, Cal searched for a way to cheer Xenna up. "Hey, there's a member of the crew I want you to meet."
Xenna was struck by the childishness of that statement, but let the excitement seep into her. She hurried to finish up the work on the relays, hearing her sister cheer from the front of the ship when they were properly functioning again.
Leaving the engine room, they walked through to the galley. Xenna noted the saplings growing in a long terrarium built into the wall and felt the life within them give her energy. Having nature on a ship was rather rare, especially on the ones she and Nirah had hitched rides with over the years. To see a bit of green amongst the cold metal made her happy.
Turning her attention back to Cal, she nearly jumped when she saw a small droid clambering around on his back.
"Xenna, this is BD-1. BD, this is Xenna," he introduced pleasantly.
One look at the droid and Xenna wondered how she could have missed meeting such an adorable companion. He had a large lens that he used to scan her, much to Cal's protesting, and let out a few friendly chirrups. His lens and holoprojector were reminiscent of eyes, giving his face more personality. He stood on two legs and flicked his two antenna like curious ears.
"Hello to you, too," Xenna laughed, admiring how well he balanced with his tiny feet on Cal's shoulder. "I bet you are a good friend to have around."
BD nodded, his antennae following the motion. She had always admired the versatility of droids and their individual personalities.
"Yeah, he's a lot of fun sometimes. I don't know what I would do without him."
Xenna smiled. She had appreciated Cal's helping with the Inquisitor, of course, and his being a Jedi was definitely a good thing, but the way he talked to BD endeared him to her more.
Their shared joy in the droid was interrupted by Greez announcing their coming out of lightspeed to land on a planet. Cal directed her down the small set of stairs and sat next to her on the sofa in the lounge. BD hopped into Xenna's lap happily and she smiled down at him. She was tempted to pet him, but settled instead for positioning her arms to catch him should he fall.
Xenna could see her sister's blue hair frizzing over the edges of the copilot's chair with each excited bounce. Nirah loved travelling and had inherited her father's knowledge and enthusiasm for mechanics. She was happily in her element as they prepared to leave lightspeed. The holotable showed that they would be approaching a pleasantly blue-green world.
"Where are we?" Xenna asked Cal.
"Bakura. We stay on the less inhabited continents and keep our heads down. The planet does have an Imperial Garrison, but we stay well enough away from it and keep our heads down when we travel to the city. There are mostly humans here, so it's easy to blend in if we need to resupply."
Xenna nodded, not liking the Imperial presence, but also knowing that it was mostly unavoidable anymore.
She held onto the seat for the wave of coming out of lightspeed and was deeply impressed by Greez's landing of the ship. It was something of a novelty for her not to be rudely dropped onto the ground. Then again, the beings they got rides with were not always happy to have them there.
"Here we are," Greez announced, mostly for Nirah's benefit. The girl had been staring out the windows with wide eyes for longer than he would have thought necessary.
"You are the best pilot in the galaxy!" she cheered, making the Lateron puff up his chest with pride.
Despite her enthusiasm for being on the ship, however, Nirah practically flew out the door the moment it opened. Greez, having dismounted from his pilot's chair, watched her with something between surprise and amusement. Xenna knew the feeling and joined Cal at the door.
"Is she always like that?" Greez asked, watching Nirah run through the grasses, having quickly discovered and adopted BD-1 as her new friend. The two were now playfully running around a few rocky outcroppings.
"I'm afraid so," Xenna replied, unable to stop her smile.
As if proving her point, Nirah decided to jump off the rock that was clearly taller than she could safely land from. Xenna, thinking on her toes as her sister often made her, used the Force to slow the girl's fall. Unfazed by her near-injury, Nirah continued her laughing game with BD.
"It's all fun and games until I miss," Xenna muttered under her breath, finally following Nirah's path outside. Cal and Greez exchanged a weighted look. Cal excited to have a bit of fun in his life; Greez silently asking what they had just gotten themselves into.
Xenna stood a small distance away, letting her sister have her fun. She crossed her arms and watched like a weary mother. Nirah always made friends easily and was often more excited to leap than to look first. Cal came up beside her and also watched with quiet bemusement as Nirah and BD popped out at each other from behind rocks.
"Xenna! Look at this!" Nirah cried, pointing at a large, yellow amphibian creature. It was sunning itself on a rock and eyeing the girl warily.
"That's not going to try to eat her, is it?" Xenna asked Cal with far less worry than he would have expected.
"No. That's just a Butter Newt. It's one of the more peaceful creatures on this planet," Cal answered, loud enough for both sisters to hear.
"I want to pet it," Nirah said, taking a step toward the newt.
"I don't think it wants you to, Nirah. Remember, we have to respect nature," Xenna advised.
Nirah stopped her tender approach, disappointed but understanding. She crouched and watched the creature as it regarded her with curiosity and concern. Its wet, black eyes did make it somewhat cute and its long tail was quite expressive as it flicked calmly. Finally, the animal ducked behind the rock and into a small hole it had dug for itself.
BD-1, who had been sitting patiently next to Nirah took this opportunity to remind her of their play. He seemed to be reveling in the attention as much as Nirah was the adventure.
"My sister never has trouble making new friends," Xenna said with another shake of her head.
Cal grinned at her. "You're not doing too bad, yourself."
At his somewhat forward remark, Xenna hid the color in her cheeks by looking out across the horizon. She noted the various pits and craters in the moist ground, as well as all of the muddy canyons that seemed to snake over the landscape. She could see why anyone would be interested in the planet. It was quiet, peaceful, full of beautiful nature, and it would be fun to explore, were it not for the Imperials. At this thought, however, her smile faded.
"Cal," she said, looking down at the toe of her ragged boots as she toyed with a patch of mud. "I am glad you saved us, but we don't have anywhere to go. Nirah hasn't had a home for almost three years and I'm—"
"In the same boat as me. It's all right, Xenna," he said, turning to face her fully. "We're not here to kick you out and leave you. In fact, I was kind of hoping you would stick around and help us."
She eyed his bashfulness with curiosity. "Help with what?"
"To fight the Empire," Cere answered, walking up beside them. "And to help any Force-sensitives we may find along the way."
Xenna looked between them, at a loss for words. She realized with a mental face-palm that Cere had been a Jedi. Though Xenna could not sense the Force in her as easily as one might expect, the woman held herself as someone who had once been trained in its ways.
"What do you say, Xenna? Do you want to join us?" Cal asked, clearly expecting a yes.
Xenna shook her head, taking a step back. "I'm not sure. I mean, as much as I want to help, my biggest priority is keeping Nirah safe. Dragging her into Rebel conflicts wouldn't help that."
Cal's smile faded and turned to an expression of confusion. Cere did not seem surprised, but instead somewhat disappointed.
"But you were raised to be a Jedi: a guardian of peace. I would have thought—" Cal started, but Xenna cut him off.
"I may have spent a good portion of my childhood in the Jedi Temple, but I was not "raised" in it. I learned to survive as it fell. I'm also not going to make a decision that would further jeopardizes my sister. Master Swan did not approve of fighting, and until the battle on Geonosis, she had never killed. I intend to follow in her example as much as I can."
"But you have skill! I saw you fight off all of those Stormtroopers. What if you could help other people and protect them from the Empire?" Cal protested. "They grow stronger every day. It's important for us to stick together. We may be able to find more Jedi to help us."
"And they would be what, people like us who lost their masters in the Purge? Children no older than Nirah? Cal, it would be the blind leading the blind. I'm still technically a padawan."
"Cal is a Knight, and he is strong enough in the Force to be a good leader," Cere offered, but Xenna was not having it.
"Congratulations. Who is going to teach these people? How are we going to do any of this without the Empire finding us? How do you know that the Rebellion will work?"
"Because it has to. You have seen firsthand what it can do. People all over the galaxy are suffering. It's our responsibility to help where we can," Cere explained. Despite her outward calmness, she had a passion in her that Xenna knew came from her time as a Jedi.
"I thought you would be happy about this," Cal admitted dejectedly.
"It's not that I'm not happy or that I don't want to help; I just don't see how I can. I have other responsibilities."
"So, you're just going to hide for the rest of your life?" Cal asked, taking a stand.
"I don't know. Maybe?" Xenna replied, feeling drained.
"You can't run forever, you know. Eventually, the Empire is going to catch up to you. Eventually, there will be no one strong enough left to defend the people who need them," Cere argued.
Xenna set her sights back out into the distance. She was not willing to admit that Cere and Cal had a point. "I have Nirah to look after. She's just a child and I'm all she has left. If something were to happen to me, she would be lost and alone. I know what that's like." Xenna cast her gaze distantly to the ground, feeling the panic she had when she had lost her master. "I have to think about what's best for her."
"I know," Cere conceded slightly. "But have you stopped to consider what is also good for you? Don't think just of what your master would have wanted, but of what you want."
Xenna shook her head. She had not thought that way since she was a child. At least, she did not admit to it. "The Jedi are supposed to be selfless," she recited from a long-ago lesson.
"Yet you cannot live just for others. You have a gift, Xenna. Don't squander it by giving in to your fears."
"If the Jedi are so gifted, why are there so few of us?" Xenna muttered more than asked.
Cere smiled sadly. She was caught between the grief she shared with Xenna while also knowing she would enjoy verballing sparring with her. The girl was disillusioned, but not unrealistically so. She was a good foil for Cal. Where he was all optimism and high spirits, Xenna had been forced to take the harder road of giving up her own wants for the sake of another. Her hiding had less to do with herself and more to do with her sister—though not exclusively.
"Think on the offer, at least," Cere encouraged, looking between Xenna's withdrawal and Cal's confusion over her response. She decided to leave them to their own devices. If anyone could change someone's mind through good faith, it was Cal. Regardless of the success of their mission, these two needed to stick together. She could feel it.