Tony and the Demon Lord

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Tony Stark knew a lot of things. He was a genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist and of course Iron Man. He knew astrophysics, advanced mathematics, mechanical and chemical engineering, how to have mind blowing sex, how to make a bangin' Singapore Sling cocktail, and how to program a TiVo.

What he had no clue about was this Demon Lord sitting at his 2 o'clock in the Quinjet.

And Tony hated not knowing things.

Tony nearly upended his worktable when Jarvis sounded the alarm for the Bifrost activating, when Thor was confirmed planet side, and a keen source of Loki's magic pinging from New Mexico.

Damn was he ever thankful he had put in the time and energy, in between making all his new suits, to develop his Magic Signature Detection System, or as he sometimes referred to it: Rudolph Radar.

He donned his fastest suit, the Mark XLVI, didn't bother alerting SHIELD, and went Loki hunting.

Only it wasn't Loki. Not by a long shot. This guy looked on first glance like he came from a failed Coachella inspired fashion show. Hindsight being 20/20 he shouldn't have automatically assumed he was Loki, the look in those gold eyes should have signaled that to him enough.

Those cold, calculating, apathetic eyes, lidded with an impressive shade of 'maybe it's Maybelline' crimson looked at him as if he was nothing. No hint of recognition. Just a slit pupil that screamed boredom.

That and maybe Loki would have chosen a less conspicuous disguise.

But, he did come down from the Bifrost, Thor was on Earth, which suggested, hey maybe he could have escaped. Like Tony knew how stringent prisoner protocol was in Asgard.

And he sure as hell didn't look like anyone Thor would hang out with. When something looks evil, and pings with evil magic energy: you go with evil.

But, of course, according to Pepper, since nothing in his life was simple, he was in for a surprise.

Because the mystery man pulled out surprise after surprise. He dodged an arrow fired from an almost impossibly close distance considering Clint's accuracy and hatred for the supposed target. Which, his current mood was making everyone on edge and uncomfortable, Nat said he had been pissy since they got word about the Bifrost. Hopefully he will cool his jets soon and go back to normal, or Nat might kill him with her nail polish or something.

Or the Demon Lord might glare him to death.

Like a fucking champ, Sailor Moon took a hit from Capsicle's shield, it sounded worse than nails on a chalkboard or Thor's singing. He moved like water, sort of like you'd expect from a Bruce Lee movie.

Jarvis was right as usual. Whatever energy levels that personally guy put out were definitely not on the same frequency nor wavelength as Loki's magic. It didn't even flow the same.

But something on him was definitely radiating Loki's magic.

Tony didn't have much time to reflect on 'Magic Theory 101' when he heard a tall-tell roar from his number one Green Rage Monster.

'Then of course, he stopped the Mean Green after he knocked me out. And not like just stopped, he made the unstoppable Hulk go all 'Hello God, It's me Margaret' into the sky. The Hulk looked like a dog in training school, and he didn't even lay a hand on him. Then of course I offended the cosplayer and his damn 'Fifty Shades of Grey' whip flung me into Clint like I was a tether-ball. My skin still singes. I'm gonna have to study that compound.' Thought Tony, twisting his face as if trying to will the chemical compound of the whip to his frontal cortex.

Then, mystery man took three glock 17 rounds to the chest and stood there like someone blew him a damn kiss. Center mass! Tony knew how terrible shrapnel felt lacerating into his chest, the terror of waking up with a car battery sticking out of your sternum like a R/C car.

'No. Not going there. I need to focus on the Demon Lord who, apparently, goes way back with Thor. And by way back, I mean longer than America was a country.' Tony scratched his neck, maybe this guy wasn't evil.

'Fashionably late Good ol' Point Break shows up, preventing what was probably going to be a shit-storm of a fight, saying they're old drinking buddies or Shakespeare theatre club members. He honestly doesn't look like anyone Thor would hang out with, his Asgardian buddies are a lot cheerier and brawny and a lot less arrogant and pale.' Tony leaned back, fiddling with the severed boot of his suit, noting that the cut was clean and hardly warped.

The vibes from Point Break and Sailor Moon's whole conversation was that he seemed a lot closer to Loki, or at least knew him better. Which made sense, Loki could probably only be friends with someone with as nuts as a fashion sense as he did, your posse has to keep up, totes. Obvs. Whatevs.

And Loki.

He also claimed he can just summon Loki. Loki! The God of mischief, lies and trickery, who doesn't answer to anyone or anything not even his own logic, or common sense most likely. Coachella insisted he could, in a tone that left doubt even in Thor's mind, and he was all gung-ho about the strength of Asgard's defenses. Sailor Moon even scoffed when Thor told him he was locked up better than the Queen's jewels, that Loki would just hang out in prison, for shits-and-giggles.

The regal pompousness on this Demon Lord could match Fury's ego in size. Tony figured no just one orders Loki around, divas don't respond well to orders. Tony knew from experience.

This silver haired, face tattooed, boa wearing Demon brought with him a daughter, ward, mystery Japanese girl, and a creepy toad servant he calls Jerky, Jermaine? Single father Demon Lord with a frog nanny. Wasn't there a sitcom about that?

Of course, too, not ten seconds ago he watched him put his own fingers in his chest to pull out the bullet with his claws and melt it. And he did it without even a wince. Christ.

He had Pepper do it to him before, but at least he already had a hand-sized hole. He tweezed open his own like it was no big deal.

In fact, the entire damn fight he treated it like was no big deal to him, even when they taunted him. His level of sheer zen was astounding. Like nothing could get under his skin. Monks could take tips from this guy, Loki too. Bruce too. Maybe he could start a meditation circle.

Then, to top it off, he showed his first burst of emotion about when, not where, the he is and the edges of his eyes bled red and his face tattoos morphed. Was he a pokemon? Did they miss out on his evolution into David Bowie?

Tony Stark was utterly intrigued.

'What is this guy gonna do next? and what is SHIELD going to do when they find out not only Gods are real, but Demons are too, and they're bros with Gods? So much for Sunday Mass. It doesn't help Sailor Moon looks positively feral and elegant at the same time. Like you could totally see him eating a person, but with good table manners, like some badly written Ann Rice vampire novel. Drag Queen of the Damned.' Tony laughed to himself while his thoughts spun. Tony couldn't help but sneak peaks at the Demon Lord when he thought he wasn't looking.

"Wow, and you thought you had it bad Cap. At least cars were invented and the pyramids stood." Tony smirked at Clint trying to assuage some of the tension in the plane.

"Tony, the pyramids definitely were around five hundred years ago." Steve replied, only slightly amused.

"You know, I bet there wasn't even Starbucks, or Hagen Daas, both of which are better than the pyramids anyway, if I'm being buried under a huge monument with all of my stuff I sure don't want it to be in a desert where no one can properly admire it." Tony caught Bruce rolling his eyes dramatically, like he didn't already appreciate the monument to his greatness, Stark Tower.

"You can't take it with you, Tony." Steve leaned back, almost as if a challenge.

"Not with that attitude. An eternity of afterlife would be too dull without my stuff." Tony gestured with a general wrist flick to Sesshomaru. "I bet Lestat's family over here does monuments." Tony jutted his chin up.

"Lord Sesshomaru has a grand castle you ignorant human! It goes back many a generation in his father's family! You'd do well to respect that fact!" Toady threw a fit and Tony was starting to wonder how quickly another fight would break out if he threw the leprechaun from the Quinjet.

"Um, might want to check your verb tense there, Lucky Charms." Tony grinned and Jaken began to sputter until Rin gave him some of her Gatorade. Which, yes Sailor Moon Steve is not going to poison a little girl.

They were the good guys the last time he checked, though he doubted even Loki would stoop so low to poison a child. Maybe. Sailor Moon continued to watch Clint and Natasha, ignoring Tony completely.

'What was so interesting about Natasha and Clint the—Oh. They're piloting. He has never even seen this before. He must think Clint…Oh god Clint! I almost forgot the lover's comment between him and Loki. And bed clothes! The guy is an unintentional riot. If he had Youtube back in his era of huts and basic cable, he would've totally had a channel with millions of subscribers. Hell, I'd be his first one.' Tony smirked, however, he couldn't help but sort of feel bad for the guy.

He gets pulled out of whatever Demon Lords do in their spare time, probably eating skulls, to five hundred years in the future and then immediately attacked by technology he doesn't understand, controlled by people thinking he was someone else and his daughter (ward?) Rin gets sick and now he is stuck in a sweaty, almost sausage fest of a plane ride... And he didn't even know planes existed.

'If I were him, I'd have lost my mind already. He is mellow to the max, and we are a big bag of dicks.' Tony sighed, knowing that he was about to do something he rarely did, admit a fuck-up.

"Look, I gotta say on behalf of the Avengers, we fucked up for attacking you and well mistaking you for a shape shifting war criminal without even asking for license and registration first. It's poor form on our part, and you're right, Clint probably does need a shower." Tony admitted and he caught those wild, but cold as liquid nitrogen eyes.

He felt speared in place, like the Demon Lord was shredding his brain with a simple stare.

"Hey, speak for yourself, you crashed into me, Pepe-Le Pew!" Clint retorted, with an outdated metaphor.

"Um. Thrown into you. What you didn't get taught dodging in SHIELD basic, stink-eye? Picked last in dodgeball growing up? Pan hands?" Tony quipped back and he swore he saw the Demon Lord's eyes flicker. So he does have emotions!

"Yes. I'd like apologize as well. In America, where um, you are now, what we did is frowned upon. We shouldn't have just assumed you were Loki. We didn't even give you a chance to state your peace. Even though you're, a Demon, and we've all be taught Demons are evil. This isn't how I like to operate." Steve actually looked guilty. Too bad he now works for SHIELD which isn't above detaining people without a trial, maybe Cap hadn't noticed that yet. Tony released a breath he didn't notice he was holding when Sesshomaru's gaze stopped boring into him and languidly rolled over to regard Cap.

This really does guy looks like he eats people.

"Friends, I can assure you Son of Taisho is not evil. Demons...we...are simply another race, like the Aesir." Thor boomed seriously. Tony figured there was more to this than he thought. Steve didn't look convinced, his biceps were still bulging all 'imminent threat' like.

Sesshomaru ignored Thor.

"I accept your apology. As proof, I will spare the life of the huntress Romanoff who soiled my garment." Sesshomaru answered in a deep serious tenor that wasn't supposed to sound funny, but it was. Soiled his garment?! She shot you! He heard Clint and Bruce laugh.

"We can always finish our fight when we land Pretty Boy!" Natasha called back and Tony noticed Sesshomaru quirked an eyebrow.

"Well if you aren't talking out your ass and you can genie Loki out his Asgardian prison cell I'll wash the damn thing for you, hell I'll even make one for me and wear it. It's a bet." Tony laughed then stopped laughing when a vicious growl rumbled from Sesshomaru and in a flash of a striped wrist he was grappled by the throat.

'I'm gonna die, his grip is harder than steel. Having trouble breathing. Someone shoot him. Clint, I take it back, shoot him!' Tony's thoughts scattered.

"Watch your tongue human. I do not state falsehoods. He will arrive." And as quickly as he gripped his throat he released it. Steve looked like they were about to do something but the shock and speed of it all took him by surprise.

"Son of Taisho! He means no offense! Please refrain from harming my fellow Avengers!" Thor protested heartily. Sesshomaru responded with a dull gaze.

'Thanks Thor, where was an actual defense when he was actually strangling me?! Damn, this better not leave a bruise. I do not need TMZ thinking I have an asphyxiation kink. Again' Tony rubbed his neck, plotting his revenge on the newcomer Sailor Moon. Maybe he should have Jarvis test the Demon Lord's dodging capabilities.

"Yeah, that's really not gonna help the blood pressure of the 'berserker' either." Bruce muttered, getting himself under control.

"Storm God, why are you calling Lord Sesshomaru Son of Taisho? I don't like humans much, but you aren't a human. Is there food?" Rin asked and everyone except Tony and Natasha ignored it. Tony didn't know what she was talking about. He could read Japanese, sure. But, his listening comprehension was a bit spotty outside the basic phrases of 'tie me up', 'harder, faster', and 'thank you Mr. Roboto'.

"Ah little one! I call him Son of Taisho because of his father. A truly grand Demon Lord! We were very bereaved when he was slain. And you shall most promptly discover that the mortals you find yourself in the company of are most pleasant as are their refreshments and pastries. We shall feast when we arrive!" Thor responded excitedly, Tony forgot how excited he got over food.

"Oh yeah, I forgot all-speak. That's nifty. So, you're the only one who can understand her. Do like, Demons also have this all-speak?" Steve asked nervously, Tony could tell the guy unnerved him a bit.

"We can communicate with anything based on our youki! Do not underestimate our intellect and power!" Toady spoke up, shaking his creepy fucking staff, were those real heads? Did Coachella eat two people and make a staff with their heads?

"I can also mostly understand her, though my Japanese is rusty, and her accent and word choice is odd." Interjected Natasha. Tony wondered if the modelling gig in Tokyo he has stumbled upon when Fury had her shadow him was actually legit.

Maybe there were more photos.

Hell, Sailor Moon could model, he has cheekbones that could cut concrete. Tony noticed that Sesshomaru either had completely zoned out or was slowly being bored to death.

"Ok Storm God! Your friends are weird, and they better not make Sesshomaru angry again!" Rin sing-songed and began to swing her feet. Thor laughed and Tony hated being left out of jokes.

"So. Sesshomaru." Tony tried his name for the first time. "What's your deal? What do you do in your spare time? Knit? Flower arrangements? Fly fish? Cosplay?" Tony hoped he wouldn't respond 'the butchering of the human race'.

Tony was rewarded a flicker of a gaze in his direction.

"Rin's pastimes are arranging flowers and fishing." He answered simply. Rin nodded and smiled brightly. Alright, outdoorsy types, makes sense it's not like she had a Wii.

"Yeah...you know you're damned good at getting out of questions." Tony leaned back and crossed his arms over his arc reactor. Sesshomaru merely looked away, as if pretending to act innocent. Like hell this guy was innocent of anything.

They enjoyed a comfortable silence for a good eight minutes before surprisingly Sesshomaru broke it.

"What means of power device is in your chest?" Sesshomaru inquired his sharp eyes darting to Tony's chest. Tony grinned like a Cheshire cat.

"How 'bout this Coachella, I'll answer your question if you answer one of mine. Tit for tat." Tony challenged, raising an eyebrow. He knew he could get this guy to talk.

Sesshomaru blinked in response and Tony could smell smoke Sesshomaru was thinking so hard.

"So be it." Sesshomaru straightened in his seat, his silver hair escaped his back and cascaded down his shoulders. Tony could barely refrain from asking what his hair care regimen was. Probably the tears of his enemies and soon to be happy meals.

"This," Tony tapped the arc reactor "is something I created called an arc reactor. It's a clean energy reactor. It ensures that the shrapnel near my heart doesn't shred me to bits. I'm a genius, it's a pretty awesome, don't mean to brag too much." Tony expected Sesshomaru to have a bit more of a reaction than just a quiet hum. Usually people were all 'Oh Tony, can you take off your shirt so I can see it better?!' well ok, that was mostly women and men he was intent on seducing.

"Lord Sesshomaru, it's not unlike the Shikon jewel correct?!" Toady supplied. Sesshomaru nodded slowly.

"Similarities are apparent." Sesshomaru agreed and he heard Steve snicker. Tony could not believe it. His arc reactor was nothing like some jewel!

"Ok, this baby is nothing like a jewel or gem or whatever. I did not bedazzle myself." Tony defended, pounding his fist into his chest for effect.

"I don't know Tony; it does look like a nice brooch. Maybe you should get some earrings to match." Natasha chuckled and Tony huffed in indignation.

"Allfather once gifted my mother Frigga a ring of a matching hue of your circle of power Man of Iron! I can inquire from which market he made the purchase if you would like!" Thor smiled and Tony just put his head in his hands. Thor would do it too.

This arrogant Demon Lord just turned what was arguably his best invention, and coolest thing ever into a damn piece of jewelry. He was not the 'Pretty Pretty Princess board game' damnit!

"You are impossible." Tony muttered, glaring at Sesshomaru in frustration, but Sesshomaru was too busy looking at Natasha. Pervert.

"Oh yeah, 'He's' impossible." Clint smirked at Tony. Tony wished he had just gone solo to New Mexico, but no, he just had to get drunk one night and tell Natasha all about the magic detector he created. Of course, Fury was at his door the next morning asking for it. Thus, the super-secret boy band had assembled again.

"Ok, whatever. My turn. What is your goal? I never met a Demon Lord before so, gotta ask. World domination? Beauty contest? Enslavement of all humanity? Séance director?" Tony volleyed a few guesses to kick-start the conversation.

Sesshomaru put a finger to his lips thoughtfully and eyes went to the up and left. Tony found himself on the edge of his seat.

"My goal is to return to my time with Rin and Jaken." Sesshomaru supplied listlessly, and if Tony didn't know any better the bastard led him on. Tony face-palmed.

"No. You know what I meant. No evading, answer the real question!" Tony all but demanded. He felt his ears get hot, this guy irritated him to no end.

"This Sesshomaru did not evade you. It is no fault of my own you did not pose the question you desired to ask." Sesshomaru's eyes narrowed, the crimson on his lids contrasting the gold well. Tony obviously knew that, his Iron Mans suits practically matched his eyes perfectly.

"Fine, be that way. I'll just ask your bro Thor." Tony turned to a perplexed Thor.

"We are not brothers." Sesshomaru and Thor chorused at the same time. Tony rolled his eyes, great we had to go into idioms and slang again. He should have charged Steve and Thor for swag lessons.

"Not this again." Bruce had enough of it as well.

"Oh! I know this one. In this instance Tony is speaking of you two being so close of friends you may as well be brothers." Steve smiled helpfully, which did nothing to lift Sailor Moon's frosty glare.

"Thank you, urban dictionary." Clint called out. This time Tony snickered at Steve, payback.

"Son of Taisho and I are friends yes, but he and my brother were far closer. He may have the answer you seek Son of Stark." Thor informed.

"Ok, no more Son of Stark business, this is not Game of Thrones." Tony interjected, He couldn't get for the life of him why Loki called him 'Stark' but Thor insisted on the Shakespeare.

'Bingo, thought so. So, Sailor Moon and Reindeer Games were like old partners in crime. Explains a lot, both arrogant, irritating and dress like they're vying for best costume at Comic-con. Sailor Moon though definitely has the intimidating death glare down, and Bambi the maniacal laugh. They could be the perfect villains for some obscure comic book.' Tony caught a flash of dark movement from the cockpit. Clint. Pissed again.

"Whoa. Whoa. Hold the phone you and Loki are friends!?" Clint's blood pressure raised at least a hundred points and the Quinjet lurched violently to the side. Tony, only because he helped design the damned things, knew it wasn't enough to send the plane into a death-spin, but he knew the others may not know that fact.

"Please don't crash us Clint." Bruce requested mildly, but Tony could have sworn he could see his skin turn a little green. Yeah. Piss off the rage monster Clint, that will help your issues.

All eyes darted from Thor to Sesshomaru.

Tony watched as Sesshomaru looked around the jet. 'Probably assessing how to get his ass out of the frying pan without getting into the fire.' Tony tensed, Steve reared back shocked.

"Clint, he's from five hundred years in the past remember?" Natasha sounded irritated. Tony then flashed back to logic. Of course. It's not like this guy was friends with Loki three years ago. She was probably about to strangle him because whenever Clint thought of Loki he didn't think logically. Clint was still pretty sore about the brainwashing even though it was almost three years ago. His mood on the ground showed it.

"Next round of question game. I ask you one and you can ask one of me." Tony shot over to Sesshomaru and he looked unimpressed.

"I acquiesce." Sesshomaru nodded almost imperceptibly. Tony took that as a 'Hell yes Tony Stark, pinnacle genius of the 21st century' agreement.

'Finally, he pays attention to me! The Quinjet isn't that cool, I should show him my G6. The G6 as better seats, and a full bar' Tony smirked, blood tingling for a scotch.

"What did you and Loki do together specifically, and for how long?" And the jet stilled in anticipation. Tony didn't know if sex acts contributed to something he saw, or didn't see coming.

"We completed various quests over three hundred and forty years. We also collaborated on subjects of tactics, strategy, swordsmanship, hand-to-hand combat and artistry." Sesshomaru punctuated each item like a bullet point on a resume. Tony was a bit slack jawed, three hundred and forty years!? These two were more than just friends; it sounds like a bromance. They were 'Lord of The Ringsing' it for almost as long as America was a country!

"Lord Sesshomaru I had no idea you could do art! How wonderful!" Rin beamed. Tony and the others, excluding Natasha and Thor, had no idea what she said. Yet, Tony could tell she felt nothing but pride and wonder. This little girl really thought this guy hung the moon. Well, he did have one on his forehead.

"Nothing like playing Dungeons and Dragons, Risk, and arts and crafts with a lunatic sorcerer." Clint, ever the sarcastic one, gave his two cents. Thor's brow furrowed in thought and Tony caught it. Was this a sore subject for Point Break?

Sesshomaru shot a glare towards Clint in retaliation. Natasha turned her head to Clint almost in a warning stance.

"How old are you? You don't mind me asking?" Bruce asked quietly from the corner. Tony almost forgot about the green machine.

"I am four hundred ninety-three years old." Sesshomaru admitted, as if age was nothing but a number. Tony had to admit, he looked good for a five-hundred-year old skull eater.

"Hey why'd he get a free question?!" Tony feigned indignation, Sailor Moon's eyes lit up like candles. Tony immediately forgot why he was annoyed, and instead focused on the reaction he managed to get from 'Mr. Sword In The Stone'.

"Aye! You matured so quickly! When we first crossed swords you appeared to be aged no more than fifteen human years! You now look much older!" Thor contributed and Tony couldn't help but try to envision a fifteen-year-old Demon Lord try to kick Thor's ass.

Sailor Moon cracked his knuckles, as if challenging Thor.

'Oh shit, what if he could kick Thor's ass?' Tony stiffened a bit, is that why Thor didn't directly help him? Was Sailor Moon that much agile than he was?

"Sell your secrets to Estee Lauder, they'd pay a fortune for your youthful glow." Bruce joked, Sesshomaru shifted.

"It's your turn." Tony directed to Sesshomaru. "Fire away grandpa!" Tony sat back, ready to slam dunk any question.

Pause.

"I lack a pertinent question." Sesshomaru flat lined and Tony nearly pulled hair out of his head. What?!

"You lack a pertinent question?! You are five hundred years in the future, on a different continent, in a…a jet you've never even seen before, with five strangers who you never met before who attacked you with weapons you didn't know existed before. To top it off the Harry Potter to your Hermione Granger is imprisoned for war crimes and you don't have a single pertinent question?!" Tony garbled, exasperated.

'Just who was this guy?! He had no questions?!' Tony lost it, absolutely lost it. Who was this guy?! Was he being coy on purpose?

"Correct." Sesshomaru's golden eyes held a faint, but rare glimmer noticeable only to Rin and Jaken both of whom looked a bit puzzled. Tony heard Natasha snort from the front seat. Voyeur.

Tony clenched and unclenched his fists and he heard Bruce chuckle. What was he laughing at? This wasn't a joke!

"Does that make Clint, Ginny Weasely?" Bruce's face held a wicked grin and the Quinjet lurched again.

"Nat hand me my bow." Clint demanded, seventy percent serious. He even reached his hand out to her like she would actually do his dirty work for him. Well, maybe she did, but she didn't seem to be entertaining the thought tonight.

"Loki is really more of a Draco Malfoy." Natasha admitted, purposefully ignoring Clint.

"You are all so lively and jovial! It has been a while since we have all congregated has it not friends?!" Thor laughed excitedly and for a second it fell a bit silent.

It had indeed been a quiet thirty-three months. The Avengers had not been all called together since Loki and the Battle of New York.

'Maybe that's why I jumped the gun over stoic statue over here. I've been itching to do anything, fight for something. Iron Man was simply not meant to patrol the streets looking for a simple liquor store robbery or making promotional appearances. I didn't create so many suits just to keep my nightmares at bay.' Tony crossed his arms in front of his chest again, defensively. Defensively at what, or who he wasn't sure.

"Yes, it has. It's nice to be all together fighting for a common purpose again." Steve caught a side-eye from Sesshomaru. "However, mistaken the original intention was." Steve coughed. Awkward.

"It's good to see everyone well." Natasha added, with a slight smile that Tony could spot from the tone of her voice.

"Well, it certainly isn't boring." Bruce agreed, begrudgingly. Tony had collaborated with him sporadically across the past two years, but the ever-private Rage Monster had often left secretly for months at a time.

"Yeah, yeah, one big family reunion. Did someone make potato salad?!" Tony couldn't help himself and Clint laughed heartily, finally getting out of his funk.

"And see Son of Taisho it is all because of you! You have my thanks! It has been too long for our reunion" Thor put his hand up in a high five motion and Sesshomaru looked at him as if he had grown a second head.

"Oh yes! Midguardians have a custom called a 'high five'. It involves slapping hands when a victory is achieved or an unexpected great event occurs!" Tony could have sworn Thor was treating him like a former bro. Sailor Moon, if he cared for Thor's frat, didn't seem like he wanted to pledge it.

'Maybe I should buy a keg when we get back and see if Thor would do a keg stand. Sesshomaru would probably cut his hair before doing one.' Tony rattled off in his head where he could find a keg. Also, he had an inkling that the Demon Lord was vain about his long hair.

"You can't leave Thor hangin'!" Clint supplied and Sesshomaru looked down to Rin who immediately understood and jumped up and slapped her hand against Thor's. She giggled and danced in a satisfied jig.

"Calling in assists is cheating." Tony scowled, but even he had to admit it made for the perfect Kodak moment: small adorable Japanese girl high fives Nordic Golden God. It was like an Apple ad if they had iphones.

"Lord Sesshomaru does not cheat! He does not find it a suitable use of his time and effort!" Toady shook that gross staff again. Tony really wanted to ask what it was, but he was simultaneously terrified of the answer he would get. He could tell the heads looked human enough…but still…seriously?!

"Lord Sesshomaru I like the Storm God! He reminds me a little of Uncle Inuyasha!" Rin smiled and Sesshomaru stilled a bit. Tony could instantly tell by his demeanor he got stressed.

"He is far more agreeable than Inuyasha, and a more skilled warrior, there is hardly a resemblance." Sesshomaru answered with a pause. Tony had no idea who Inuyasha was but took note to ask him at some point.

"That buffoon Inuyasha could not ever be considered a God silly girl!" Jaken shook his head, dispelling the idea. Rin stuck her tongue out at Frogman.

"Hey I hate to crash the good mood but we need to tell Fury what or who we found in the desert and what happened." Natasha reminded, and silence weighed in heavy. Tony rubbed his goatee in thought. This could get tricky, Fury gets nosey.

"I should have just gone on vacation like I wanted…" Clint groaned. Oh, poor Clint, it's not like anyone held a gun to his head to come.

"Tell him it was a fool's errand. That nothing was found and that my brother is still imprisoned." Thor suggested. Tony rolled his eyes. Like that would satisfy Fury, world greatest bullshit detector. Tony would know.

"Fury has my Rudolph Radar, thanks to Natasha. He will know are lying even if Miss Black widow 'spydar' herself tells him it was wonky." Tony pointed out, trying, and failing to read the expressionless silver haired Demon.

"I also reported in that we needed containment for the Hulk. He would know we found someone or some people." Natasha confessed, her voice low in irritation.

"Well, we can't very well tell him we attacked a Demon Lord thinking he was Loki. Fury would demand answers, first of all knowing what a Demon Lord is, what he is doing here, and what his intentions are. Especially his intentions and he is innocent." Steve groaned, Tony felt like joining him in a group groan. SHIELD always gave him a headache.

'What a damn mess.' Tony drummed his fingers on his arc reactor. Not arc reactor brooch, jewel thing, but a reactor. Comfort always flooded his senses when he tapped it.

"Remember, he is still bitter that Loki is on Asgard for his sentence, not here on Earth. Anything Loki related he is going to want blood. Hell, the world would want blood. They'd riot if this got out." Bruce chimed in, which caused Sesshomaru to swivel his head his way.

"We could tell Fury we found an unknown entity at the site of the Bifrost and are taking him to Thor for questioning." Natasha inputted in her typical, 'spyalculator' way she typically did.

"He would demand that he be brought directly to SHIELD. You know how much he trusts me anything Loki related." Clint countered automatically.

"Which we can't do, since he isn't Loki, but we can't prove since he has his magic signature" Bruce admitted, rubbing his eyes in defeat.

"What if we told commander Fury it was a beast we slew?!" Thor put a finger up and Sesshomaru's eyes narrowed to slits. Tony suppressed a chuckle barely.

"He'd want to see a body." Natasha fired back, Thor's face dampened.

"Well, as far as we know, at least Fury doesn't know Thor was even there, so we don't have to explain old friends, embarrassing frat stories, and baby photos." Tony attempted humor, but it fell flat and not even Bruce thought it was funny.

"He's going to wonder why we delayed in reporting in this much." Steve ran a hand through his perfect blond hair.

Pause.

"Romanoff has articulated an astute strategy. Loki's magic is not only unique to Loki, but to his mother and the distant realm King Odin, and perhaps others. Bedclothes, report to your commander that you have transported your quarry to Storm God for personal interrogation since you determined he not of this realm." Sesshomaru's calm demeanor acted like a salve on a burn.

"Not a bad idea for a Project Runway dropout." Tony reacted a little shocked, for someone who just fell out of the sky he caught on to scenarios quick. Maybe he wasn't just for show after all.

"That. Could. Work. We just tell him we found someone that wasn't a hostile. Wait did you just call me bedclothes?!" Steve brightened then his jaw dropped in confusion.

"I may have to steal bedclothes." Tony smirked and he blocked an empty Gatorade bottle chucked his way by Steve.

"I see summer camp for the rich, power hungry, and immortal has paid off." Clint gave a thumbs-up.

"We will explain our delay in reporting in by trying to contact Thor and medical assistance. Stark play up that ankle burn. Rogers only mention one person at the site." Natasha fell back into her typical assassin rhythm.

"Like Leonardo DiCaprio vying for an Oscar. Natalie bring the Quinjet to Stark Tower. Fuck if Fury is going to come barging down my door, my security is tighter than your spandex." Tony barbed by purposely calling her by her 'shadow' name and Natasha raised an expertly waxed eyebrow.

"Already had the coordinates in. And nothing is tighter than my spandex." Natasha winked. Tony, reinvigorated, have Thor a good pat on the shoulder.

"When we arrive to the tower I will beseech Heimdall for information on the Bifrost. Surprise floods me that it was used for travelling though time. I must consult the Allfather about this, and why you feel of Loki's magic." Thor put his hand under his chin, deep in thought which was foreign territory for the 'Storm God'. Tony noticed Sesshomaru had pursed his lips.

"Yeah, what's up with that Sailor Moon? I got Loki's bad attitude magic signature all over you like a bad suit…or kimono, but underneath it all, I have your energy signature. Did Loki have a thing for boas?" Tony inquired and to his surprise the Demon Lord closed his eyes. His crimson eyelids fell like curtains and for a moment he looked tired. He exhaled through his nose and opened his eyes at Tony, expression masked.

"That is an additional inquiry I did not give consent to answer." Sesshomaru responded placidly.

Tony lost it again.

Edited and cleaned this chapter up some!

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