Hello Peoples!

I thank my sister for beta-ing, and my friend RGNN for constant encouragement! I thank all my reviewers as well, since they're what keep my going! Sometimes I just feel lazy and don't want to write, then this review pops up that spurs me on, so thankyou!

And then here's the (current) newest chapter of my fic! I'll stop boring you now…

I stood in front of a huge door, covered in a design that had five parts. The design was circular, with the top part being a landscape of an inferno, and (going clockwise) was a picture of a forest, then the sea, then a cloudy sky with birds and the stars peeking through. But it was the last part, the part in the middle of the four scenes, that took me in.

It was obvious that the door signified the five elements of the circle of what the monarchy was supposed to go around. The fire tribe, then earth, then water, then air and then it started all over again. The black elements don't get to rule, but have the job of making sure the next ruler (the next five-elementalist) was capable of ruling the country.

And I haven't still haven't been told what the black element was. To my eternal resignation.

The scene was beautiful, yet horrifying at the same time. It showed the hands of a clock, and tiny figures were carved into the clock hands, the numbers, the clock face. If you shifted, you would see a different scene, and another, and another. It was so eternal, it was freaky. I jolted out of my reverie when I realised Dusky was saying something.

'Hey, don't look at the middle black part too much. Some people have gone mad just by looking at it.' I immediately ripped my gaze from the door just in time to see the others had done the same.

A page popped from a tiny side door.

'Get ready, they're going to announce you in soon.' Then he popped out again, leaving us to stand there and check each other's looks. The door creaked open.

'Announcing, the Imperial Princess…' I zoned out and concentrated on making my neck not collapse. I silently encouraged it as I looked around the room. Nothing special, a theme of flame colours decorated the room.

You're nearly there, just a few more minutes and you can sweep out and maybe collapse into my room or something to sleep…

I stopped in front of a raised dais and looked up. I bowed to the queen, then the king. Technically, the king made all the official decisions, but it was the queen who had the most power in Avril. Cos the queen could just "persuade" the king to do her decision.

The King was nothing special. Normal looking guy, his head seemed too big for his little gold crown. The queen however, was another case.

She sat, looking regal with the little gold crown on her head perched on top of an impeccably styled hair. Her face was stunning, a healthy olive brown with black hair, big brown eyes with a (I can't believe I'm saying this) beautiful mouth. The only thing that was making her human and not this unbelievably pretty person was her nose, which was a bit snubby. She looked Asian-ish, like Dusky.

Actually, all the fire-bender people looked Asian-ish. The Wind people all looked like pale ghosts (we had white skin, white hair, and wear a pale tunic. What would you expect?), the water looked like the typical European, the earth people had dark skin, like Africans, and the black elementals… well, they just look like them.

The Queen looked down her nose at me.

'So… I see you survived,' she said in a laid-back voice, as if she didn't mind if I survived or not.

'Yes, Your Majesty.' I said, my head bowed. These were the two people with more power than me.

'So have you got into that brick-head of yours that you could still do that surgery?' She carelessly tossed the words into the air as she laid back into some pillows behind her.

'Yes. I have decided to take it.'

'Good, good…' she nodded, as she examined her fingernails. I noticed some wrinkles on her face that weren't in the photo book before.

She would be stressed, as she thought a lot about her country. Although she acted like she didn't care, the more she acted like she didn't care, the more she cared about the topic. She was so contradictory, just like a little kid. I giggled in my mind, comparing the words "little kid" to the regal figure before me.

Not many people liked her, as her act of "not caring" was very realistic. I already saw some people tense up at her actions towards me.

'So why did you bring so many friends here? You know they could easily be assassins in disguise.' I nodded seriously.

'From my information network, I know they do not have any suspicious actions against this country in any shape or form in their lives. So I decided to bring them, as I wanted to show the beauty of this country to them.' I said, lies rolling out of my mouth carelessly.

To my surprise, she didn't contradict the "information network" part.

'Then, as I have nothing to say anymore, you are dismissed. I am tired.' Then she fully reclined on the chair, waving at some musicians in the corner. Soft music sprang up as I bowed to her, then at the king (who had remained silent in the whole exchange) and then quickly turned my tail and out the door.

Once we were out the door, I smiled.

'Phew! I thought it might not go so well!' Kurapika raised an eyebrow.

'You seemed on top of the situation.'

'Really? My acting skills are great then.' I mock bowed to him. 'Well, let's get to our rooms.' I clapped my hands and immediately, a maid popped out of the shadows.

'This way, hime-sama. Chiiyo is waiting for you.' She bowed to me and Dusky then walked away quickly. I followed her.

'Wow, the room service here is amazing. Don't you think Gon?' I heard Leorio ask.

'Yeah! Wow, I've never lived in a castle before! I'm so excited!' Gon replied. I imagined him bouncing around.

'Stop bouncing around idiot. We're imperial guests here, so act polite at least.' Killua's voice interrupted Gon's bouncing.

'But Killua,' Gon whined, 'we're at a palace! A castle! Oh look! Such a big piece of cloth…'

'It's called a tapestry, Gon.' Kurapika said, sounding kind. 'It depicts a scene of something. With such a big one, it could have been made by more than twenty people.'

'Wow!' I looked back and smiled at the sight of Gon openly gawping at everything. Killua had his hands in his pockets and walking casually, although he was looking at everything through the corner of his eye.

Kurapika was now talking to Dusky, and they chatted about something related to tea. Couldn't hear the whole conversation though. Leorio was chatting up the pretty maid that was leading us to Chiiyo.

'So, do you have time tonight?' Leorio asked sleazily. The maid blushed prettily.

'No, sorry…' I stopped listening. I was looking forward to meeting Chiiyo. She had apparently been my nurse since I was a baby. And she looked exactly like my grandmother on Earth. But that's beside the point.

We stopped, and the maid stopped talking to Leorio.

'We're here. Please excuse me.' She bowed to us and quickly left, blending into the shadows easily. I opened the door and inside…

'Grandma!' I yelled, flinging my arms around her. Then I immediately stopped. I stepped back and bowed non-stop.

'Sorry! Sorry, sorry, sorry…' Chiiyo laughed. She was a round-cheeked person, with grey hair and laugh lines all around her face. She wore a tunic with shifting colours, signifying that she was also a wind user.

'You should really get rid of that habit of yours to call me grandma, Wind.'

'Can't help it Chiiyo!' I smiled at her. Then yawned. She immediately went grandmotherly over me.

'Ah! I bet you have jet-lag! Quickly, quickly, go up to your room, come one Farey, you need your sleep.'

'Ok…' I went up the stairs that she had gestured at so vehemently and opened the door that was there. My sleepiness went away all at once, looking at the room.

It had two floors, with me on the second floor. On the second floor was a huge bed, with the gauzy curtains and a soft looking quilt and mattress. On the first floor however, were bookshelves. Tonnes and tonnes of bookshelves crammed up that left a big open space in the middle for a big wooden table with pillows and (the only high-tech thing there) a little laptop. A fireplace was stuck into the corner, and I realised every single little aisle had a little window and a reading nook.

I looked up to see the ceiling was painted like the sky, so realistic that I thought the clouds were real, and moving. I flopped down, amazed.

This was my dream room! And I was in it! Right now! I shook my head and stared.

Wow. Being a princess had a good spot too. I guess I won't yell at Jeb then…

I realised I didn't close the door behind me, and the words "Farey" and "why…" caught my interest. I closed the door and carefully drew on the air from the floor below to let me know what they were talking about.

The conversation slowly became clear.

'…why do you call her Farey?'

'Oh, it's her little nick-name from when she was little. It just stuck to her I guess. I couldn't get used to saying "Wind".'

'Oh! Are there any childhood stories about Wind you have?'

There was a brief silence, and then Chiiyo answered Gon's question.

'There aren't many happy memories about Wind's past though. Haven't you heard about them from her?'

'No…' Gon said.

'Then, I don't think it's my business to talk.' I inwardly panicked. I really wanted to know my past in this world, and this was the chance to it. I immediately sent some words down another stream of breeze to Chiiyo's ear.

'Don't worry. Tell them. I just haven't been bothered yet.'

I felt Chiiyo nod, then she launched into her story.

'Ok then, then I'll tell you. Farey had been born… about eleven years ago?' She suddenly laughed. 'You know, there's a legend in our Wind tribe. The first person to see you on your eleventh birthday would have a strong chance of being the person's partner?'

I raised my eyebrows. Really? Well, I had been dancing on a lake then, so no-one had seen me on my eleventh birthday. Or maybe that rabbit that had been lurking around the edges of the lake. But then, that's a rabbit.

'You're getting off topic, Wind's nurse.' Killua said bluntly. Chiiyo laughed, then coughed.

'Sorry, can't get used to my old age. Anyway, as I was saying, she was born with high expectations. Even if she wasn't the imperial princess, she would still have been a princess you know, since she was born into the Wind Tribe's royal family. So you can say that she's doubly royal.'

Suddenly, she stopped. I felt the air around Chiiyo. She was tapping her chin.

'Well, let's say that Farey was amazing. She had mastered her first element at five, but no one gave her credit so I think she worked harder than ever…'

I leaned against the door, methodically pulling on the breeze. I remember something like this…

'Mama! Mama, look at this! I got a ten out of ten for the additions test at school! I was the only one too!' I looked up to my mom, who had looked huge back then.

My mother nodded and kept poring over her papers.

'That's good Windy… Now go play with your toys, mama is busy now.' I pouted and shuffled my feet.

'Is it not good enough?'

'Yeah… Now go to the toy room now…' she said distantly.

'Can I play with you mama?'

'No, mama is busy now…'

I went towards the door, dragging my feet. Maybe next time, if I get better marks, mama would take notice of me…

'She mastered her second element (which was water) at seven, and her third (fire) at eight. But it had started taking its toll on her. Have you ever heard of equivalent exchange? Well, our powers aren't limitless. To get our power, we must give something back. And normally, this is our health.'

I pored over my textbooks, absorbing everything inside it. My mother came in and sat on the bed.

'Windy, you shouldn't use so much time to study. Remember the last doctor's check up? They said that you were very stressed, and your immune system was starting to go down.'

I nodded.

'Ok mommy, just let me finish this chapter…'

My mother sighed and got up. 'Ok then. Dinner is in a few minutes, so get ready.'

I nodded mutely.

'But then, since she was practicing so much, her immune shut down entirely. And her body started to revolt against her, making bad cells, or too many cells, or too little cells. Basically, her body started to mess up. Lots of people get this disease in our country, as it comes from over-using their powers.'

'Then why didn't someone realise it?' Kurapika's logical voice cut in. I heard Chiiyo sigh.

'There are many symptoms. Like nose-bleeds, and bruising. But then, anybody could get these, so we weren't sure. There are tests though, and at nine, she got diagnosed with it. I remember it caused quite uproar...'

I sat in the doctor's seat. He was looking at the sheets in his hands with a serious expression. My mother and father were sitting slightly behind me, but I could imagine their faces as they dreaded the outcome of the test.

'So you are Windfarest Sani?'

'Yes.' He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

'It is confirmed that you have cancer.' My mother and father gasped, and I tensed up. The doctor immediately picked up on these.

'Don't worry. There are ways to treat cancer now, unlike the past. But I'm not sure you would want to take them.' My father immediately stood up.

'Of course we would! What are they?'

'There is chemotherapy of course, and also…'

I remember then, that I was shocked. But I never realised that I was going to die. Not then. Then, there was still hope.

'We have various ways of course, but all of them failed against Farey. So when we had finished all of the commonly used cures, we were at loss at what to do. And it became worse when at ten, they realised that her case was terminal.'

I heard the doctor's words behind the door.

'Chemotherapy over…didn't have effect…make another test…make sure…try again? Maybe we could…'

I sat there, swinging my legs. I looked up when the door opened to reveal my parents. They smiled strained at me.

'Windy, we might need you to do another test. Can you do it? It won't hurt this time, I promise.'

'Ok mommy. Whatever you say.'

I was in the corridor again, with the thin door between me and the doctor's decree on my health. My mom suddenly burst into tears and the door flew open, with her running towards the toilets, her mascara running down her face. My dad ran after her, like a really soppy soap opera. The doctor called me in.

'So…' he looked uncomfortable. He coughed and started again. 'Umm…' he took off his glasses, wiped them and put them on his nose again. He took a deep breath and plunged in. 'I'm sorry, but in spite of all our efforts, it is confirmed you have terminal cancer.' I sat there, shocked, not knowing what to say.

That was probably one of the most important days of my life.

'You know, afterwards, Farey would always smile and say she was fine with it. But I guess she got discouraged, and one day, she just stopped smiling. Even her fake ones. She would just sit in her room all day, being silent and look out the window. No-one knew what she was thinking. She even told Dusky not to go in to talk to her.'

I smiled at my parents.

'It's ok, don't be sad…' My face fell as my mom looked at me, and started crying again. My dad put his arm around her shoulders. Were my smiles not enough?

I smiled every day, trying to make the others smile. But they would only look at me then cry, or look away. I stopped smiling soon after. What was the point?

I kept looking out the window, looking at how life goes on in the world. Even if I died, the earth would still spin; the clouds would still float, the birds will still sing, the plants would still grow; the cars would still go by. Although I knew that, I still wanted to live a bit longer.

Just a bit longer.

Just a bit longer.

I want to live. That was what I thought all day. I want to live, to experience, to learn, to play, to smile and enjoy myself. I wanted to eat pineapple under some palm trees at the beach talking to Dusky; I wanted to go and try sky-diving just to see how flying felt like.

My days were haunted by wants. But the thing that kept floating up was the same thing.

I want to live.

I want to live.

I want to live.

I thought that maybe if I repeated it enough, it would come true. Just maybe, I could live a little longer, or maybe not die at all. Just maybe.

I knew it was an infertile hope. But imagine knowing your death date. Knowing that you were going to die, and leave everything you had built into this world just… like… that. To know that in just a few months, you would enter an unknown place, a place where no-one will ever come back from.

It was horrifying. So I clung to my hope that maybe a miracle would happen. A miracle which would allow me to do all the things that I wanted to do. It was a human habit to just see what they wanted to see.

And I wanted to see that I had a chance to live.

I clung to that hope, that hope that kept me sane. I devoured medical books, herbal lore, anything that was related to recovering from any disease.

But still the cancer spread.

On the final check up, where I finally moved into the hospital, my hopes were dashed.

It was final. I was going to die.

And so I ignored everyone, just looking out the window, staring at all the people passing by ignorantly on their daily basis, not appreciating that they, at least, knew that they had a chance to live for another few years.

I didn't have that chance.

I resented them, then found no point in it. Why should I resent them just because they still had lives to follow? I gazed at the world. Why do people die after building their lives? Why, if we were so unimportant, here in the first place? I tried to find an answer, but nothing helped.

It wasn't as if thoughts would help me live.

What was the point of hope?

So I kept looking out the window. At the hospital gardens, at the birds who chirped every morning, at the old people in wheelchairs who smiled at the people who pushed them. At the flowers which turned towards the sun looking for warmth. At the fluffy clouds which raced across the sky, sending huge shadows in their wake.

At the stars which twinkled always out of reach, the moon which stared at us unforgiving, the trees bending in the wind. The rain drops clattering onto the window. The thunder and the lightning, and the sun rising again to comfort the children.

And I kept reading, then seeing. Looking, observing.

I nearly lost all sense of self.

Then Jeb came, letting me into the Hunter world, letting me meet Killua, letting me do the things that I had always wanted to do…

'We sent her to the Hunter Exam as a last resort see. Then she came back changed. I thank you.' I felt that she bowed, and that Leorio immediately stood up waving his arms saying something like

'You shouldn't bow to us…'

'No, I should have. I sense that the change came from all of you.'

'But what about Wind? Wouldn't she mind that you said her past to us?' Killua interrupted. I felt the air around Chiiyo's lips move. She was smiling I guess.

'No, she was listening in on our conversation the whole time.' From the air movement, I felt that their mouths had dropped open.

'I see that you still need to learn a lot about our Farey. But she seems happy with you, so when she leaves, I place her into your capable hands…' I stopped listening then. I walked over to the bed and sunk into it.

The mattress really was very soft. I put my arm over my eyes.

I want to live huh?

I smiled a bit as I sunk into sleep.

I haven't had those thoughts in awhile.

So how was it? Was it fine?

I really want to know! (and of course, if you do that by reviewing, you can get two fake cyber cookies instead of one. They're Made in China! Hehe…)

Anyways, thank you all again for reading!

Byebye now… See you all later! (next week, if I don't get lazy ^^)