Tony and the Special Guest
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"Sir. Proximity alert. Code Horns." Tony's head felt like a cement mixer.
"Wuh?" Tony flopped onto his stomach and looked at the time on the alarm clock Pepper bought him, but never actually set: 3:55 am. Tony grunted, not amused.
"Jarvis why... what is going on?" Tony groggily questioned, rubbing his whole face with his hand, the tequila still hampering his movements. While fun, he should have left tequila shots in college. He should have left a lot in college, like most drinking games, but it didn't stop him from time to time.
"You informed me to let you know if Loki, God of Mischief, ever appeared. He has been on the roof with Lord Sesshomaru now for approximately 5 minutes and 42 seconds. I was shielded from his magic due to unknown interference from Lord Sesshomaru's own energy." Jarvis informed and Tony nodded. That made sense, Coachella did need to talk to him after all.
'I gotta ask him about that purple deer story, his damn head will spin off his neck. Heh. Reindeer, so perfect!' Tony curled back up to go back to a sleep he sorely needed.
Wait. What.
Tony barrel rolled out of bed, banging his knee against the floor, cursing loudly. Loki is here. On his balcony. He had to get his suit, he had to tell someone. Not Pepper, she'd probably kill him or blame him. He didn't even tell her about Sailor Moon yet.
"Jarvis, bring up full audio and visuals for the roof. Does anyone else know he is here?!" Tony leapt up, tugging on red sweatpants. 'This is insane. I need to find Bruce so he can fling Loki around again.' Tony began to hop, trying to get his leg through one of the legs of his sweatpants.
"Just me." Answered Natasha from the shadows. Tony fell down, knocking over the alarm clock with a plastic crash.
"Is everyone trying to give me a heart attack?!" Tony jumped out of skin and Natasha smirked as Jarvis brought up the video and audio feed of the roof. Who watches people sleep like that? She is more terrifying than the Demon Lord.
"It wouldn't be that hard. When was the last time you seriously did cardio?" Nat approached the bed and Tony refused to acknowledge that question.
"You look still sober! How did you know this would happen?" Tony thought his speech was still slurring, and he was probably right. Stupid fucking tequila, Tony swore he would get Thor back for this. See if Point Break ever eats another pop tart in this tower.
"It was a ploy I would use. This Pretty Boy certainly knows how get what he wants." She pointed at the screen at a high definition figure who was most assuredly was Loki, opposite him stood Sesshomaru. Tony's jaw dropped. They were in such shit.
"How. How did this happen?" Tony, flabbergasted yelled and Natasha slapped a hand over his mouth. What is she doing?! We need to call ghostbusters or something. Dog the Bounty hunter?
"Let's watch." Natasha advised, voice clear and eyes lit a bit roguish.
'Fine Tasha. Have it your way, but if Loki goes Helter Skelter with the Samurai Demon Lord, I am so throwing you under the bus' Tony thought, but didn't dare voice because he was certain she could probably strangle him with her hair.
"I knew what your brother spoke was folly. Assuredly, no cell could keep you." Sesshomaru's cool voice sounded almost sinister over Jarvis' speakers. He didn't look particularly happy to see his old LARPing buddy.
"Quite true being that I am a sorcerer. However, Thor is no brother of mine. Much has changed since we last saw each other five hundred and fifty years ago." Loki looked pale, and out of breath and with that comment Sesshomaru was upon him, clawed hand over throat, forcing him to the concrete roof of the helipad with a hollow thud. Yikes. This is how he treated his friends?
"Enough senseless ego stroking Loki! Explain yourself!" Sesshomaru seethed, toxin dripping. His blue youki pulsed out like ripples.
'Damn, if he kills Loki, do I still have to call Fury? Better yet, how could I make money off of a Pay Per View fight, Storm God vs Sailor Moon?' Tony winced at the scene, almost feeling bad for Loki. Almost.
"I got $100 on Hermione." Natasha slapped two fifties on the bed. Did she seriously just read his mind? She is too scary.
"Deal." Tony responded, already sort of regretting the bet. Should have bet on Sailor Moon, she fights evil by moonlight after all. Best nickname ever, rivals Point Break.
"I tricked Odin." Wheezed Loki. "I reminded him about our gift to your father." Loki finally managed to teleport to the other side of the helipad, hand at his smoking throat. Damn, he looks like got dragged behind a pickup truck before he got here.
"Gift?" Sesshomaru's voice and retained an even, cold pallor as his whip flashed.
"The hilt of your katana. The azure one." Loki looked like he could have rolled his eyes as he healed his neck. "My father and I crafted and enchanted the hilt for your father as a gift for you. I did most of the work, but back then my sealing spells were insufficient and I needed Odin's aid to perfect it." Loki explained, pointed, hand trembling like he had just ran a three-minute mile.
They circled like lions around the extinguished fire and empty liquor bottles.
"Tenseiga...He is fashioned from your hand?!" Sesshomaru's eyes looked down at the sword as if it betrayed him and fortified him in the same breath. Sesshomaru's blue youki throttled up in strength. Oh, so Loki helped him make his sword?
"Now you're finally catching on. Your father, I can gather, fell before properly explaining the reasoning behind giving you that weapon. It was blessed by the divine, intended to protect its wielder and guide him." Loki increased his forest green magic output to defend against the ice blue youki.
'Yeah, guide him into almost turning me into a pegleg and setting my roof on fire.' Tony rubbed his eyes.
"He fell before properly doing a great many things." Sesshomaru murmured.
"Oh, point to Loki for bringing up daddy issues?" Tony commented with a snarky tone.
"Only if the earlier throat slam puts us even." Natasha negotiated.
"...should we be telling anyone about this?" Tony asked hesitantly. This was the point of no return, so far they were talking about Valentines day gifts. The time to strike was now.
"Not at the moment. What would we do anyway other than just spook Loki? I want to see how things play out, something tells me there is something big going on here." Natasha sighed through her nose, her blue eyes searching the screen.
"Oh what tangled webs we weave dear friend. Your father crafted the tang and the blade of the katana, and rumors clamored around Asgard as to what your father managed to create with the divinely blessed hilt. The most outrageous rumor being that the enchanted blade could resurrect the dead. What madness to craft a weapon that humans would squabble over indefinitely! They'd stop at nothing to possess it!" Loki chuckled to himself. And Natasha noticed a corner of Sesshomaru's mouth slice into a thin smirk.
"Oh yeah, because that makes sense, a sword that can bring people back to life in the hands of a murderous Demon Lord, couldn't write irony better." Tony looked around for ibuprofen.
"I, over the course of months, then convinced Odin that we need to retrieve the katana so I could revive the souls of those who had been slain when I attacked this realm." Loki and Sesshomaru still circled warily.
"But you do not covet my birthright. Do you Mischief God?" Sesshomaru chose his words slowly and carefully.
"Of course not. I know those rumors to be but tall tales of people who know not of true weapons crafting. You asked how you came to be in this realm and I answered you: by way of Odin'smagic and the Bifrost, which is currently inoperable due to its strain to bring you to this time." Loki tried to look as bored as Sesshomaru, but he looked too eager to speak.
"So that's why Thor couldn't contact Heimdall." Natasha mused.
"Your distant realm magic has always been unreliable." Sesshomaru looked every bit like a baiting predator.
A bolt of magic and a crack of a whip later they seemed to have not moved an inch.
"Shots fired, literally. Did Loki ever move that fast when we fought him?" Tony asked and Natasha shook her head, focused intently on the screen.
"Jarvis prevent this from going to SHIELD." Tony ordered. This was getting strange.
"You wouldn't sound so arrogant if you knew that the only way to send you back to your proper time is with the Bifrost, and with my magic. Odin won't do it a second time knowing I tricked him." Loki spat and time froze.
In a sliver of a second Sesshomaru's whip was tangled around Loki's neck and with a graceful arc of his body he brought a weakened Loki to his knees. Sesshomaru's face betrayed no emotion.
"Point to Hermione." Natasha held up two fingers.
"It's creepy how he can look like he just snorted a bottle of Xanax after doing that to someone." Tony crossed his arms.
"It's impressive. His tells are locked down." Natasha admitted, lounging down on Tony's bed.
"You know his tells?!" Tony asked incredulously.
"Not yet, speculation mostly. He hasn't lied to us. He is hiding a lot for sure, but I haven't caught him in a single lie." Natasha scrunched her nose.
"I once knew to you to be someone whom embodied intellect and respected honor." Sesshomaru's tone was icy and silken as he pulled up on his acid green whip, Loki scrabbled on the cement, one hand on the whip, the other trying to grab purchase.
"What do you think he is hiding from us? Horns?" Tony slurred, still a bit drunk.
"He went easy on us in our skirmish. Think about it. His whip corrodes through metal, but he didn't attack Clint, Bruce, or I with it. And he went only for Steve's shield. Additionally, you saw how quickly he went to Rin's side when she had fainted, and a few hours ago when he laid his Loki trap. His speed is incredible, and he didn't use his full speed on any of us. He is probably also hiding his true relationship with Loki." Natasha surmised and Tony blinked a few times.
"Huh. Think they met on grindr?" Tony flopped on his back on his bed and both Natasha and Tony chuckled.
"Do you think I would not have sought your aid if I were not truly desperate?" Loki choked out, making a crude gargling noise and Sesshomaru let up on his whip.
"Desperate? Thor and his naive friends believe you a captive of Asgard's justice yet you retain the ability flit freely from realm to realm even with no magic gate." Sesshomaru approached his friend and looked down on him, scraping together healing magic for his wounds at a delayed rate.
Sesshomaru, boldly, squatted down next to the collapsed God.
"I was correct, you are enfeebled and injured. Asgardian justice must not treat its prisoners with due decorum." Sesshomaru noted, his silver hair blew in the wind, covering his face and brushing Loki's gaunt one.
"Oh Shawarma, things just got complicated." Tony groaned, coming to a chest hitching realization. Natasha eyed him.
"Do you get it? Loki has been rotting in Asgard's prison for almost three years right? Thor would be all over it if Loki escaped. He just proved Loki could escape at any time. Sailor Moon never had the ability to control Loki, he just used their history to convince him to come to him, or Loki meant to find him on Earth once Odin brought him here." Tony sat up straight and Natasha followed suit.
"If he was being treated to enhanced interrogation techniques, it meant it meant he bent to them willingly." Natasha's eyes darted and she pursed her full lips.
"Why would he? And why would he come back to the scene of the crime?" Tony gazed, transfixed at the screen.
"It was nothing I didn't deserve." Jarvis had a hard time picking up Loki's whisper as he sat up for his emerald eyes to meet Sesshomaru's golden ones. Tony swore he saw a softness in the Demon Lord, he would go back and re-watch this scene later.
"…self-deprecation is unlike you Loki. You will tell this Sesshomaru what caused these series of events." Sesshomaru's voice sounded less harsh, more like velvet. Loki collected himself some, and Sesshomaru placed a hand under his upper arm, as if to help him up.
"I fell from grace old friend. There is much to explain. In the end, I was commanded to conduct an invasion on Midgard from a most…convincing Lord." Loki rasped out, the green healing magic began to finish, and it dissipated into the air.
"You confess you seek sovereignty of this realm when you and your kin professed to my father and I, that you would never do so?" Sesshomaru stood up offended, leaving Loki on the cement surface of the helipad.
"Never. I never desired to rule Midgard. I mean to confess that I was not strong enough at the time to do what needed to done and destroy the ones that used me." Loki stood up, and Tony realized then just how thin and pale he looked while retaining the clarity in his green eyes.
"Hmmm." Natasha furrowed her eyebrows.
"What?" Tony looked over to her.
"He is the God of lies, I know, but I've read him before, and that didn't look like a lie." Natasha examined.
"Used you?" Sesshomaru asked automatically.
"It matters not. What matters is that I have knowledge that the ones who commanded me to invade Midgard did not give up. The rest of their fleet were three years out from Midgard when I made my appearance. They mean to obliterate all life on this planet, and then move on to Asgard." Loki clutched his fists and his obsidian magic flared pushing Sesshomaru back.
"No one. No one would believe the God of lies, of trickery and mischief. I do not blame them, though I am disappointed they think that invasion attempt my best effort." Loki continued, laughing bitterly.
"Nat. Nat. I need your polygraph like now. If what Loki is saying is true, then we are three months out, tops." Tony shoved her shoulder but she didn't move.
"I made the only play I could. I called upon the only person who would believe me, and would have the strategic mind to prevent annihilation of both our homes. I called upon an old friend." Loki gestured to Sesshomaru whose eyes widened a bit.
Pause.
"I have lost all credibility, even my own mother looks upon me with distrust." Loki looked down, his dark hair hiding the sides of his face. Tony then noticed he was wearing a simple green linen shirt and black pants. No armor.
'He really isn't here to start a party. He would have at least put on his party helmet.' Tony felt a headache form and knew he had ibuprofen in his room somewhere.
"Tony. I can't make this kind of call on my own. I don't envy Pretty Boy out there though. He doesn't even have all of the facts. He doesn't even know anything about the Tesseract, mind control or how mental Loki was." Natasha felt her pulse race.
"Loki you request much of this Sesshomaru." Sesshomaru's voice sounded thinner than usual and he shifted on the helipad.
"Yeah, no kidding he is requesting a lot from you. You chose the wrong brother to be bros with. All Point Break requests is alcohol and stories." Tony finally found ibuprofen in his bedside table, probably Pepper again. He took four.
Natasha pointed to Tony as to say 'truth'.
"I can reward you amply. After the Bifrost recharges I can send you back to your time. I can give you access to travel the nine realms; I know when we were close you spoke endlessly of your affinity for travel." Loki backpeddled, gesturing wildly, practically begging.
"Though alluring, that was not this Sesshomaru implied." Sesshomaru took a step closer, and arm's length away, but did not stand threateningly. Sesshomaru turned away from Loki, looking off camera.
"They will believe me biased. They also think me slow of mind being from my time. Before this revolution of industry." Jarvis had a hard time picking up Sesshomaru's explanation.
"Not true!" Tony almost yelled at the screen and Natasha tilted her head to the side.
"About the slow of mind thing." Tony scratched the back of his neck.
"You like to remind him of it." Nat chided.
"Even if I can devise a strategy to prevent this armada from scorching this realm asunder, it will fall on deaf ears. This Sesshomaru will not waste his time." Sesshomaru cracked his knuckles and toxin dripped to the concrete, sizzling craters in it, he turned back towards Loki, his expression still unreadable.
"They will harken to you. You can prove that I meant for my invasion to fail. That will catalyze the Avengers; they will have to take this threat seriously." Loki put his palms out like he was a set of scales. Tony's eyes shot up.
"He wants his best friend to convince his enemy he lost to them on purpose? He really is insane, and Sailor Moon needs better friends." Tony mumbled, Nat's eyes widened and she jutted her head back in an 'hopefully not us' reaction.
"And if that is not enough?" Sesshomaru retracted his claws.
"Then I have a backup plan. But I think you are missing the bigger picture, have faith in your abilities, and the opportunity it presents." Loki's smiled turned into a cold sickle.
"Opportunity? There seems to be little in recompense for this Sesshomaru." Sesshomaru's typically neutral tone turned a bit haughty.
'Ah, finally catching on to the fact Loki is being a bit more demanding than the board of directors of Stark Enterprises.' Tony thought.
"The commander of this fleet is renowned throughout galaxies for being one of the strongest beings. He is known by the moniker the Mad Titan and few would dare stand up to him. His right hand, The Other, is a tremendously strong sorcerer as well, though I would prefer to put his head on a pike myself." Loki tapped the tips of all his fingers together a few times.
"This Sesshomaru enjoys a challenge." Sesshomaru looked to the heavens.
"Ah. That's his deal. He gets his rocks off dueling people." Tony fist pumped in victory.
"Oh yes, I do remember a certain Dark Elf and his friends challenged you once. He threw you in a lake." Loki relaxed minutely. And Sesshomaru squared his shoulders. "I am surprised no one has come to greet us yet, this bodes well." Loki looked around.
"...this Sesshomaru may have set certain events in motion to compel the Storm God and his friends to imbibe unduly much of their human spirits." Sesshomaru blinked innocently and Loki laughed a rich, open laugh.
"…That scheming Demon Lord…Did Loki just laugh like people?!" Tony leaned back. Natasha shrugged in a 'I guess so.' motion.
"By the nine Sesshomaru, you threw a party?! Figures Thor would forget you can't become inebriated." Loki raked a thin hand through his lank hair to straighten it.
"Furthermore, I do think none of his consort believed me when I said you would arrive." Sesshomaru's voice hinted a smirk his face did no show.
"How foolhardy, however, in this realm and especially on this tower we were most certainly being recorded. In fact, I am sure Stark's AI awoke him. It is a testament to his discretion he didn't don his suit and interrupt us." Loki put a hand on his hip.
"You were totally going to do that." Natasha attacked.
"Was not. Ok. Maybe a little." Tony confessed.
"I thought this conversation private. At least they witnessed my victory. Most likely the sly huntress or the strange Berserker stopped him." Sesshomaru guessed and began to walk off the helipad.
"You met the Berserker? He is not fond of me." Loki scrunched his straight nose.
"He is curious of me when I disciplined him. Come, you need rest, and I need quiet, I scouted a suitable room in the cellar of this tower." Sesshomaru waved Loki onward and they went off screen.
"Jarvis what room is Coachella talking about?" Tony asked.
"I believe Lord Sesshomaru is speaking of substorage room 3-b in the basement. He was there earlier, Lady Rin, and Retainer Jaken are currently asleep there." Tony threw up his arms.
"I have all these nice rooms and he goes for substorage room 3-b." Tony muttered, then thought of an idea.
"Why hoping he'd bunk with you?" Natasha elbowed him and Tony rolled his eyes.
"Victory...Hey Jarvis you said they were on the roof for like five minutes before you woke me up, bring up that footage." Tony put a hand to his mouth and Jarvis brought up the footage for them both.
Sesshomaru stood and in a puff of dark green smoke Loki appeared, staggering to stand equally as tall.
And then it began. Loki drew his uru daggers and Sesshomaru his whip. They charged each other, green magic crackling against blue youki, negating them both into teal glimmers.
Sesshomaru took to the air and twisted down, his whip flaring out like a spiral. Loki turned to dodge and sniped at him with a quick green bolt of magic when he landed. Sesshomaru darted to the left so swiftly he left an afterimage, closing the gap and striking Loki with talons extended. Loki parried expertly with his left dagger, and counterattacked with the right, dagger extended like a saber for longer range. Sesshomaru evaded, neatly spinning his back towards Loki only to complete the spin with another strike of his right claws.
Loki blocked with a force feld and Sesshomaru responded in kind with his own youki, dissolving them both into teal dust. Loki responded by switching the grip on his daggers from a saber style, to a reverse one for short range, aiming to take advantage of Sesshomaru's stance beside him by bringing his blade down with tremendous force. Sesshomaru, seeing this, slipped back increasing their distance, gathering his whip and lashed out for Loki's chest.
Simultaneously as the whip shot through the hair, Loki swept his dagger out, slicing down the whip strike and jumping as the neon green whip shot back up, cracking in the air, missing Loki by a hairsbreath.
In the same instant they jumped back and circled again.
Loki this time teleported and Sesshomaru dropped as Loki appeared next to him, dagger slicing air where his head just occupied. Sesshomaru, in a crouch, struck out his talons to Loki's unprotected midsection and Loki just managed to parry the strike with his other dagger. Loki switched his grip again on the daggers playfully back to saber style and Sesshomaru waved his youki back at him, taunting him.
Flash crack!
A bolt of magic slapped out of existence by a last minute whip flick.
Their fight demonstrated graceful, precise flicks of glinting metal or loping, swooping loops of verdant green. Their movements were so swift at most points Tony had to ask Jarvis to slow down the frame rate. Sesshomaru seemed to predict where Loki would teleport to next and Loki appeared to have memorized every inch of the acid whips' trajectory. Loki every so often would shoot magic flares which were met with a wall of youki. Sesshomaru would try to come down with his claws only to be parried by a shining dagger.
Their movements complimented each other, almost like it was choreographed. It was haunting. Natasha and Tony commented on their form during the five minutes.
The fight ended when Loki fatigued prematurely, out of breath and energy, and Sesshomaru slid behind him to place a claw at his neck.
"Point." Sesshomaru looked like he was fighting boredom as he looked down at Loki with gold eyes cold.
"I concede victory. Welcome back Sesshomaru." Loki gasped, taking in heaps of air then Sesshomaru moved in front of him. The footage stopped.
Pause.
"What. Since when does Loki know how to fight like that? I doubt he learned that in Asgardian Prison Bible Study! And like, this is him injured?" Tony put his head in hands and Natasha remained silent, fist over her mouth.
"You don't learn to spar with a partner like that instantaneously. They could read each other, they had rhythm, they've done this countless times. Loki has been able to fight like that, or most likely better for...well over five hundred years." Natasha admitted, voice distant.
"I just can't believe any of this. We have to figure this out." Tony groaned, baffled and exhausted.
'This doesn't make any sense. Up until this point we knew who the bad guys were. We have a damn list! Leave it to the God of Mischief and his bored Demon friend to upend that. What were we supposed to do now? Clint's going to burst a vein. Thor will probably try to take him back to Asgard, which worked so well the first time. I better give Bruce a Valium or something. Steve will probably get on his high horse and demand a trial. Oh, and it's not like Fury, Hill and Agent aren't coming by tomorrow to meet a Demon Lord who is currently hiding SHIELD's most wanted in substorage room 3-b. This is what I get for developing a magic signature locator for Loki's energy. I was having such a good month too. Crap, I better call Pepper.' Tony put his fingers to his forehead.
"Get some sleep Tony we have a hell of a day tomorrow. Oh and you owe me that $100." Natasha picked up her two fifty dollars bills and sauntered out of the room.
"…I should have just called Ghostbusters, or Agent." Tony fell backwards on the bed, reaching for his phone to call Pepper while commanding Jarvis to sequester that and any other footage of Loki.
They had an invasion to prevent, and a planet to convince. He just hoped Pepper didn't quit.