Chapter 13 - Alice

Emil sat in the clinical waiting room, his butt already growing numb from sitting on the hard plastic chair for so long. His eyes were glued downcast at his phone as he played around with filters and emoji's on the snapchat selfie he had taken with Tino before he'd left Emil in the waiting room when his name was called. In the photo, his face was squashed closely with Tino's, and Tino was smiling so widely that his eyes were nothing more than two thin creases above his round cheeks.

Tapping the thin text bar on the picture, Emil wrote the caption 'brb, this guy is getting a new smile' and then added a sparkle gif over Tino's braces, grinning to himself before posting the photo to his snapchat story.

After the success of the Lucille Marcon signing and interview, Lukas's bookshop was still busy even weeks after. A new generation of book lovers had discovered his store during the signing, and they kept coming back. Although Lukas knew that it would probably die back down eventually, he didn't want to miss a beat and was working hard at keeping the store open 7 days a week.

It had been 3 weeks since the signing, and last week Lukas had called the local orthodontist and arranged for Tino to finally have his braces removed as an odd little surprise, paying for it all himself with the money the shop had started to bring in. More overwhelmed with the gesture than he should have been when his appointment card came in the post, Tino had ugly cried for a good 20 minutes and wouldn't stop hugging his best friend. It was the least that Lukas could do to repay Tino after everything he had done for him, but it was a pretty good start.

After scrolling the entire contents of his Instagram feed, then his tumblr dashboard, followed by a 10 minute vine compilation video, Emil was starting to get bored as his eyes flickered to the clock and sighed dramatically, causing the elderly man sat a few chairs down to turn and look at him. Then, just as he cast his attention back to his phone and opened his facebook app, the door to the room that Tino was in cracked open, and Tino's usual bubbly chatter began to spill out into the waiting room. Emil watched the back of him as he walked out of the room with the orthodontist and over to the front desk to sign some paperwork, still talking away, his hands animated.

Standing up to stretch his numb legs and to gather his coat and backpack, Emil took his ear buds out, slid his phone into his pocket and waited for Tino to make his way over.

"Thank you so much! You're my hero!" Tino beamed to the orthodontist as he shook her hand before turning to Emil, his brows raised in excitement.

"Well?" Emil said as Tino approached him, a ball of cotton wool stuffed against the inside of his right cheek.

"Cripes, did it hurt? Your mouth is bleeding…" he continued, eyeing Tino's amusingly misshapen mouth.

Emil had an incredibly low pain threshold, and had refused to have braces of his own fitted to fix the relatively large gap that he had between his two front teeth after hearing Tino's horror stories of snapped wires and sharp metal tooth caps over the years.

Tino held his hand over his mouth as he spoke, "It hurt a little. They'd been on for such a long time that my gums had started to grow over the caps on my teeth at the back, which is the reason for the cotton wool." He said with a shrug, and Emil visibly cringed. Compared to Emil, Tino's pain threshold was off the scale, nothing seemed to bother him.

"Quit it with the gory details and just show me your teeth already!" Emil huffed and started to put his coat on, though pausing with his arm halfway through the sleeve when Tino whipped his hand away from his mouth and grinned broadly at him.

"Oh my god, Tino you look like a completely different person, it's so weird!" Emil exclaimed as Tino fished around in his mouth to remove the cotton wool, giving Emil another smile.

"I know, right?" Tino flipped his hair out of his eyes and tossed the soggy, blood stained wool into the trash as they began to head out of the surgery. "Talking is so strange without them on, my lips feel like they're too big for my mouth now, and I can't stop running my teeth over them." He said, jumping off the last step of the staircase with a spring in his step.

"Who'd have thought it, finally there's something straight about my Aunt Tino. His teeth." Emil said as he heaved open the doors of the surgery and stepped out into the warm April sunshine.

"Oh my god, I've gotta put that as the caption on my next snapchat of you." Emil grinned in amusement as Tino shoved him playfully and he stumbled for a moment before he regained his footing.

It was spring break, and Emil had two weeks off from school. The school liked to think that spring break was the ideal time for final year students to study before their exams, but in reality most of them just drank and partied themselves silly for it was their only chance of freedom before the exam prep actually began. Although Lukas was still happy to support Emil in whatever it was he wanted to do when he graduated, whether that was go to college or not, he had still been very clear that he still expected his little brother to pass his exams with high grades. If he wasn't going to go to college then he would at least need good high school grades to get himself noticed in the working world.

Emil had accompanied Tino to the orthodontist this morning not just for moral support, but also because he had a job interview on this side of the city and it made sense to travel in on the train with Tino. As he was only 17 and never held a job before, all but one of his applications had been rejected. The job was nothing special, it was just as a store assistant in a convenience store, but the shifts were suitable around flexible around his school hours and the wage was decent. Since Lukas's business had taken off, he'd told Emil that he didn't have to get a job because he felt like he had to, but Emil had insisted that he wanted to anyway. It would give him a little independence and a small income stream of his own.

"So, are you all set for you interview?" Tino asked as he sped his pace up a little to meet Emil's as the pair walked back toward the train station.

"I guess I am. I don't really know what to expect." Emil said with a shrug. Although he spoke confidently, internally he was fretting and half wanted to just go home and not bother.
Tino laughed a little, "Well it's not even like I can give you advice, I got hired without an interview just so I would repulse my boss!" he said as he stared a little sheepishly down at the asphalt as he walked.

"Well, you just gotta go into the office and shove your new pearly whites' right in his face. Then they'll see just how wrong they are about you." Emil leant down a little to look into Tino's downcast face as they came to a stop outside the train station.

Tino looked up at Emil, who was now a good inch or so taller than him, and couldn't help but feel a little proud. He had watched Emil grow from the small, timid boy who always hid behind his big brother, to the tall, quietly confident albeit a little awkward, teen that stood before him dressed smartly in his shirt and slacks, hair swept back a little tidier than usual.

He smiled, still relishing in the feeling of how his lips no longer tugged and strained over his braces as he did so, "What time is the interview?"

"12pm, so I've still got an hour to get there. It's not far so I think I'm gonna go and grab a coffee first." Emil said as he unzipped his coat. The April weather was unusually, yet pleasantly, warm.

Tino stepped forward and brought Emil into a quick hug, squeezing him tightly, "Hey Tino, you're gonna crease my shirt, stop!" Emil said as he wriggled out of Tino's grip.
Then, at the sound of the train rumbling into the station, Tino hastily let go anyway to Emil's relief.

"Shit! My train! Good luck, Emmie! I'll see you tonight!" Tino flapped as he turned on his heel and broke into a run as he rushed for the platform. He glanced at the LED lettering on the side of the train reading 'City Centre' and hopped into the carriage just as the doors were closing, releasing a breath in relief as he grabbed hold of the rail to steady himself as the train started into motion.

Francis had kindly given Tino the morning off to allow for the surprise appointment, and Tino was thankful considering how short notice it was. He hadn't specified what time he wanted Tino back in the office and it wouldn't have mattered too much if Tino missed this train and had to wait half an hour for the next one, but he wanted to make sure he didn't get behind on his work too much.

As Tino got off the train at its last stop right in the middle of the city around 20 minutes later, he found that he was smiling at everyone who caught his eye as they passed by in the commuter rush no longer feeling self-conscious of his smile or his teeth. It didn't take long to walk to the Bonnefoy offices from the train station, and after a quick stop for a bagel from the cart on the street outside, one for him and one for Christina, Tino briskly walked through the foyer and greeted the concierge as he stepped into the elevator. The doors slid closed and he turned to look at himself in the mirror.

Over the past few weeks, Tino had made a conscious effort to get into the routine of walking to and from work. Partially because Lukas was working so much in the store at the moment that he didn't have time to taxi Tino around anymore, but also because he liked the exercise. Apart from days where there was a shoot or a lunch meeting and Tino was running around like a headless chicken all day, the majority of the time he was sat at his desk for hours on end buried in paperwork and swamped with phone calls, and so walking home after a long day of sitting down felt nice.

Pushing his soft blond hair behind his ears, Tino once again smiled at himself in the mirror. Since starting walking he'd lost 3 pounds, which might not seem like a lot to anyone, but the knowledge of the fact now combined with his lack of braces made him feel great. He had an air of sudden confidence about him which he hoped would last a while.
The elevator came to a halt, and Tino knew the ride up like clockwork by now, knowing exactly how long it took from the ground floor to his final stop and had turned to face the doors before the automatic recorded voice could read out 'Floor 35'. He stepped out when the doors open, greeting Eduard and Toris as they walked past, coffees in hand on their way to a meeting, and made his way to his desk.

"Happy first no braces day!" Christina cried and leapt up from her desk as Tino turned the corner. She stopped in front of him and brought him into a perfumed hug before stepping back and placing her hands on his shoulders, holding him back at arm's length while he flashed her a grin and over-fluttered his eyelashes at her in a comical fashion. He handed her bagel to her and they both took a seat at their respective desks.

"You look great, Tino. Honestly." Christina said, smiling at him softly for a moment before she turned her attention to her bagel, pulling it from the paper bag and tucking in.

"Thanks, I feel good. Really good." He replied as he busied himself with his own bagel, pausing for a moment before he bit into it. With his mouth full he mumbled to Christina, "And no more food in my teeth! I can eat toffee now!" and she burst out laughing.

Glancing over the top of his computer as he waited for it to boot up, Tino caught Francis's eye through the glass wall of his office in front of him from where he was sat in a meeting with Arthur, Feliciano and a stylist who's name escaped Tino from the 32nd floor.

Francis peered over the top of their heads and stuck both of his thumbs up enthusiastically over his head, grinning at Tino then pointed to his own teeth causing the company of the room to look over their shoulder to see who Francis was motioning to. Suppressing a laugh, Tino stuck his thumb up back at Francis and he too grinned widely showing off his teeth. Over the past few weeks Tino had gotten to see a little more of his boss's goofier side as the two developed a good working relationship.

Shaking his head in fondness, Tino returned his attention to his desk and began to sort through the pile of outgoing mail on his desk that he needed to send out when his phone buzzed in his pocket. Normally Tino didn't get his phone out at work to avoid distraction but he hoped that this would be a text from Emil about the interview, so just this once he slipped it from his back pocket and scrolled down on the notification bar.

'Berwald Oxenstierna has sent you a friend request.'

He stared at the Facebook notification, his finger hovering over it on his phone screen.

Since the Marcon signing, Tino had been trying to keep his distance from Berwald. He'd declined invites for lunch that Berwald had sent to his work email and 'misplaced' the sticky note with the Swedes unmistakable scrawl on it that he'd found on his desk one morning stuck to a small box of cookies that Berwald somehow found out were Tino's favourite. Still, he polished off the cookies even though he felt bad about it.

At first Tino had tried to just pass it off that Berwald was simply just trying to be friendly, but as the past few weeks had gone by it was now becoming clear that this was most likely Berwald's strange way of flirting with Tino. Christina seconded this as she helped Tino eat the cookies. In a way he was flattered. Berwald was a good looking man, and if he was flirting with him, then Tino was astonished that someone like Berwald would even be attracted to him at all.

Inhaling sharply through his nose, Tino tapped on the notification and opened Facebook, then clicked on Berwald's profile. Of course, it was completely private apart from a couple of profile pictures.

Glancing over at Christina to find that she was engrossed in looking at something on her computer screen, bagel still in hand, Tino cast his eyes back to his phone and selected Berwald's profile photo. It was a nice photo, Berwald was stood in the beach and someone else had taken the photo, a black and white filter over it. He looked handsome, the filter bringing out the angular bones of his face.

Swiping across the screen, Tino flicked past the next few photos, one of Berwald in what looked like a bar with some friends, one of a beat up looking Volvo, and then he stopped on one of Berwald and a pretty woman with strawberry blonde hair. It looked like a selfie, and Berwald was stood with his head close to hers, his arm slung around her shoulder. Berwald looked a little younger, and when Tino looked at the date at the bottom of the screen he saw it was dated October 27th, 2013.

Then as he looked back at the photo, his breath caught in his throat as he noticed a tiny yet significant detail. Berwald's hand was resting on the woman's shoulder in the corner of the photo, and there it was. A thin silver band on his ring finger. Had Tino got this all wrong? Was this woman Berwald's wife? His mind buzzed. He didn't want to over think the situation any more than he already had, but definitely didn't want to just ask Berwald straight up if he were married or in a relationship in case he said yes because then it would be painfully obvious that Tino had feelings for a man who was already spoken for. It was too awkward to think about.

Locking his phone and shoving it back into his pocket, Tino picked up the stack of outgoing mail and stood up.

Walking away from his part of the office and over to the reception, he dropped the mail into the outbox then leant on the desk opposite Michelle. She was on the phone, and her brown eyes slid to meet Tino's for a moment as she held up her finger to him, signalling she'd be with him in a minute. Her hair was loose from its braids today, her natural dark curls falling about her shoulders. Tino drummed his fingers in the desk trying not to get impatient as Michelle repeated herself three times to the person on the other end of the phone who just didn't seem to understand that ICON wasn't associated with People magazine.

After a few more minutes, Michelle finally slammed the phone down and sighed heavily.

"Well, that was infuriating." she said, though her voice was light. Wheeling her chair away from her computer she too leant on the desk, twirling a lock of hair around her finger and smiled at Tino.

"What can I do for you, hun?"

He hesitated, looking over his shoulder before leaning in a little closer to Michelle.

"Do you... Do you have access to the next of kin files?" He asked, keeping his voice low.

Michelle blinked at him for a moment, then narrowed her eyes, "If I said yes, why do you wanna know?"

Tino hurried around the circular desk and sat himself down in a chair he wheeled from the other side of the reception area next to Michelle.
"I need you to do me a huge favour that will save me from potential mass humiliation if I've got the wrong end of a metaphorical stick." he said, speaking so quickly that he almost tripped over his own words.

Michelle looked at him like she couldn't tell if he was being serious or not, and didn't say anything for a moment as Tino stared at her, his gaze intent.

"I mean..." She began, whetting her plump lips a little with her tongue, "they're not super confidential. Do you needed to check something for Francis?" Finishing with a little wink, and Tino could have threw his arms around Michelle.

He nodded. "Yes. For Francis."

"Then be my guest, but you owe me lunch." Michelle said as she wheeled back over to the desk and opened up some files on her computer before passing the mouse to Tino.
Michelle was another of ICONs employees who Tino's opinion of had changed as the weeks went by. Like him, Michelle was young but she had to work hard to get where she was. She had a great photography qualification and had even studied high fashion, yet she didn't seem to be able to get anywhere else in the publications other than her current role as receptionist. It was unclear why to Tino, and he even felt a little sorry for her. Although it was still unreasonable, Tino had grown to understand over time why Michelle was so jealous of him at first and they had ironed out their differences.

Taking the mouse in his hand, Tino scrolled down the list of employee surnames in alphabetical order until he finally reached 'O'. He could feel Michelle looking over his shoulder, and his palm grew clammy as he hovered the curser over Berwald's name. He couldn't believe that he was snooping like this, but surely this was a better alternative than confronting Berwald. He would just silently find out the truth to stop it niggling in his brain, and that would be that.

It was too late to go back now, and Tino double clicked the mouse bringing up Berwald's employee records before he could have second thoughts.

Employee: Berwald Henrik Oxenstierna

D.O.B: 06/06/1989

Next of Kin: Alice Oxenstierna

Relationship to Employee: Spouse

Tino stared at the screen for a moment, and his heart sank.

"Wait, he's married?" Michelle said from over his shoulder. Then she gasped and took hold of Tino's shoulder, spinning him around in his chair to face her.

"Oh my God, Tino, do you like Berwald?"

Her face had an incredulous look, and Tino chewed on his bottom lip as he reluctantly nodded his head slowly, finally admitting to himself as well as Michelle that he did.

For the rest of the afternoon Tino kept his head down and focused on his work, even putting his earbuds in at one point to try and drown out his thoughts with his favourite metal band as he worked at his desk. He'd made Michelle swear not to tell anybody about the fact that he had acknowledged that he had some sort of feelings for Berwald, and the fact that he'd looked at his files but he couldn't shake the nagging feeling that he'd made a mistake in doing so and if Francis found out he'd no doubt be in trouble.

He skipped lunch to make up for the time he'd lost this morning, and by the time 5pm rolled around and it was finally time for him to finish his shift he was ravenous. Tino was usually one of the last people in the office, but also one of the last to leave. Slinging his satchel over his shoulder he flicked off the office lights after peering around to make sure everyone had gone, and then made his way down the corridor to the elevator. He took his phone out and unlocked it, slowing his pace for a moment, scrolling for Lukas's number in his contacts hoping that he and Emil would say yes to take out tonight. With all his attention cast to his phone, he didn't hear a door click open and jumped out of his skin, scrambling not to drop his phone, as a hand grabbed his arm as he passed the doorway and pulled him into the room.

He flinched as the door slammed closed once he was fully in the room, and he tossed his satchel to the ground.

"What the hell, Berwald?" Tino yelled.

Berwald ran a hand through his hair and sighed in exasperation as he turned away from the door and stared at Tino who stood before him in his workshop, arms folded across his chest and weight thrown haughtily on one leg.

"Just tell me what I've done." He said, his brows furrowed. "You've been avoiding me like the plague an' I don't understand why."

Shocked at the abruptness even coming from Berwald, Tino just stood blinking at him, letting his arms unfold and they hung loose by his sides.

"I don't… what makes you think-" he began, but Berwald interrupted him.

"If this is you playin' hard to get, Tino, then it's working."

Tino scoffed and almost wanted to laugh in disbelief at this current situation and at the words that had just left Berwald's mouth. His eyes made quick work of running over Berwald's hands in case for some miraculous reason he had his ring on today which would make this confrontation a lot more in his favour, but of course his hands were bare.

"Oh yeah, because I just love developing feelings for married men!" he said, raising his voice a little, and Berwald's expression suddenly turned to stone as though he'd just been slapped across the face.

"How d'ya know…" Berwald muttered, before he took a few large strides forward causing Tino to take a few back. The back of his legs were pressed against a pile of wood in the corner of the workshop and he was pinned beneath the rising anger in Berwald's gaze above him. Berwald was so close to him now that he could hear his shuddered breathing.
Swallowing thickly, Tino knew he'd gone too far to act as though he hadn't found out about Berwald's marital status behind his back, and so he stood up straight and stared right back at Berwald.

"I know about Alice. You thought I wouldn't find out about the fact that you had a wife while you try and flirt with me?" he said, watching as Berwald turned on his heel and stalked away across the room. He stood silently with his back turned to Tino for what felt like an agonising amount of time.

"You don't know what you're talking about, Tino. I don't know how you know her name and honestly I don't really care. I thought you were different, but you just gossip and pry like everyone else here." Berwald finally broke the silence, and his voice sounded as deep and monotone as ever, as if all emotion had been stripped out.

"I know how it feels to be cheated on, Ber, so don't turn this on me!"

"Oh for God's sake Tino! Get over yerself! I'm not cheating on anyone, and I can't believe you think I would ever stoop that low!" Berwald was shouting now, and he slammed his fist on the woodwork bench beside him sending tools clattering to the floor.

"Why didn't you just talk to me instead of letting me buy you lunch and string me along if you were just gonna turn around and accuse me before you even know me, and then stand here in front of me after just casting me to the side, bringing up names from my past that you shouldn't ever know!?"

Tino's heart was racing and his whole world felt like it was falling to pieces around him. Tears sprang to his eyes, and there was so much he wanted to say to try and calm Berwald down, but he couldn't even speak.

Berwald stopped shouting now, and leant against the workbench, dropping his head into his hands.

"I wanted you to be different so badly. But you're just as sly and manipulative as the rest of 'em in this damn place." He mumbled, then dragged his hands over his face and this time when his eyes found Tino's they were full of nothing but sadness. "Get out. Please, just go."

Berwald's voice was now nothing more than a whisper and Tino's cheeks were damp with tears as he willed his legs to move. They felt like lead as he picked up his satchel and walked to the door, wrenching it open. He wanted to say he was sorry, to apologise, to ask Berwald to forgive him so that they could at least still be friends, but he knew it was no use. How could he have been so stupid? Looking back into the room over his shoulder, he saw that Berwald had his gaze firmly planted toward the floor, his shoulders slumped.

Closing the door gently behind him Tino pulled his phone out again, barely able to see the screen through his tears as he ordered an Uber, just wanting to get home as quickly as he could.