Tony and the Report Card

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Tony knew he was in trouble. Would he ever admit it? No. He would it take it to his grave, just like most of the unsavory memories of that one trip to Singapore, and a party in Ibiza he went to once involving a Brazilian escort, a motorcycle and a handful of women dressed as the Spice Girls.

The trouble? He may, may, be a bit more than just intrigued by the Demon Lord.

And it wasn't just about the shocking, but not wholly unwelcome steamy dream he had about him last night. Which, was pretty confusing since usually when he usually had dreams, they weren't pleasant. This one, which he was jolted out of by the explosion of his microwave, left him flagpole stiff, and begging for a release he didn't have time for.

Tony rarely felt self-conscious, especially in his own house, but damn if that Demon Lord didn't bring it out of him this morning in the kitchen. He only bolted out of his bed like a greyhound after a rabbit, because he assumed the worst and that someone may have broken his bottle of good scotch, or Loki self-destructed.

'This is what worrying gets people, it's why I let Pepper do it for me. How dare he tell me how I'm dressed in my own house is indecent! And what was I thinking with the neck blood thing?! That's such a creeper thing to do. Who does that? I mean aside from something out of a terrible Anne Rice novel? He is tearing my life apart.' Tony's thoughts ran a mile a minute, taking a seat next to Steve, thinking about what he wanted to eat for breakfast.

Tony had observed Sesshomaru the past few days, the guy was unflappable, except when he melted the forks at the steak restaurant. He wasn't entirely sure what his relationship was exactly with Loki, but he had a feeling they weren't getting hot and heavy in substorage room 3-b. Tony, however, definitely wasn't about to ask them though.

His haughty, better-than-thou attitude combined with his expressionless, calm demeanor completely grated Tony's nerves. However, it at the same time screamed challenge. He had to shake it.

Nothing affected him and he seemed completely uninterested anything to do with the modern era except Central Park and an Ice Cream shop he kept taking Rin to. All this new technology, science, advancements, and constructs and he didn't seem curious in the least. He just drifted through it like it was all beneath him.

Rin following Sesshomaru around like a puppy, Dog Demon reference there, also baffled him. Tony had no idea why they were together, they were like night and day. Jaken followed him around like a groupie, and again, why the stone-cold Sailor Moon tolerated him was, again another mystery.

Tony liked mysteries though, this one, however, definitely more than intrigued him, and that was a problem. This one apparently aroused him.

Sesshomaru, Toady and Little Miss Sunshine had just left, however not before Loki glamored Jaken to the same Japanese boy. Toady threw a tantrum and Sailor Moon smacked him on the head with Rin's bone. Tony, however, was mildly surprised Rin was taking to New York so well considering she looked like she was in tears when they first arrived. Then again, now she had her 'weapon'.

Oh yeah, let's take a deer femur to the ice cream shop. Great parenting Sailor Moon, real low profile. Not that the Demon Lord himself was that low profile, he attracted attention like a lighthouse, which ironically seems to be the last thing that arrogant guy wants.

'And God. I acted like such an uncoordinated jackass when I saw him in the bathroom. The plan was to catch Sailor Moon off guard with my science lab partner in crime and to prove to him he was not above science. Not for him to come out shirtless, showing stripes on places that I didn't even dream of.' Tony thought back to his dream and a dart of heat zig zagged down from his navel.

It was unfair.

'Unfair for him, with his wet merman silver hair, and his stupid six-pack to look so casual and stoic. Like, 'hey world it's time you impressed me!' I felt like I was in high school fumbling with a corsage for prom.' Tony grumbled to himself, looking to see Loki standing around looking awkward as hell.

He could feel Bruce's eyes on him, as if reading his impure thoughts.

"Greetings! I have bathed! Let us properly brea-Brother how grand for you to have joined us!" Thor strode into the room and Tony immediately turned around.

This should be good.

"You know... Why don't I make us some eggs..." Bruce busied himself in the kitchen. Tony truthfully worried about how the Green Rage Monster was going to fare around Bambi doing...well anything other than standing perfectly still without Sailor Moon around.

Could Thor handle Loki in a fight? Yeah, straight up.

Thor was basically every army's dream warrior. Basically, if you were an alien god race, you wanted him on your side. He could definitely beat Loki in a fight, especially with him still recovering from 'Allfather' knows what conditions back in Azkaban.

Could Loki outsmart Thor? Yeah, he already has.

'The outsmarting thing was the worrying part, not that Loki is smarter than a genius like me, but the sneaky crafty stuff is so much work. The effort is really a pain in my ass, which is why if Sailor Moon is legit, will save me a lot of sleepless nights. He's already proven that he can only tolerate so much of Loki's crap.' Tony scratched the back of his neck.

Sleepless nights...heh.

"Yes Thor, here I am." Loki grandly gestured and Tony noticed be was back to wearing his black leather pants and green shirt. Leather pants...who is this guy? Some sorority girl studying abroad for the first time?

Tony had not yet begun to even tackle the issue that was Loki. All evidence pointed that he trusted Loki in what he said, but that the same time, he totally didn't. Loki struck Tony as one of those people who would bend, manipulate, basically fuck with anyone to achieve his goals.

Loki, so far, seemed like the kind of guy to give you razor wire for dental floss if it would make sure he achieved his goal. However, his goal of saving Earth was one Tony could get behind. He had, however, stopped thinking Loki would probably attack him. He just became this wildcard in a stacked deck of cards of misfits that was his tower. Well, all misfits except for himself of course.

"You know I think there is probably a baseball game on." Steve abandoned Tony for the sofa, fumbling awkwardly for the remote. Traitor. His friends abandoned him to the Shakespearian family drama that was Reindeer Games and Point Break.

Why was his life so weird now?

"It is good to see you so well Brother, that is, I am glad you are reunited with your friend, Son of Taisho, despite of circumstances." Thor just hit a foul ball, Tony noted, rubbing his beard.

"We are not brothers, quite literally. And oh yes recovering quite well after Asgard handling me like a treasonous, genocidal snake and my old friend launching me out a window." Loki brooded, but if Tony was any judge of character he could tell Loki was on edge, probably because we told him he wasn't leaving Stark Tower again until we heard strategy from Sailor Moon.

He remembered when Cap said that after Sailor Moon left Loki bristled in agitation, but submitted. Tony got it, he didn't like being told what to do either.

If Tony was a betting man, and he was, he bet that Sesshomaru was keeping closer tabs than others would think on his War Criminal BFF with his proximity barrier thing while out being dad of the year.

"Brother you committed great crimes against Midgard, me, and Asgard. I do not know what possessed you so, for you are not the person I remember." Thor confessed, face flushing in exasperation. Loki rolled his eyes.

"Oh yes. I am quite assuredly not who I used to be." Loki bit cryptically, eyes flashing. Tony reared back a bit, unsure what to do with that reaction. Loki definitely fit the description as 'unbalanced'

"...and it's the top of the 5th inning, bases loaded and Yankees Stadium electric with energy as Harper approaches-" Steve found the game, albeit at full volume. Tony and Bruce welcomed the interruption.

"Hey Tony, Steve how do you want your eggs? And uh Thor, Loki um do you want any?" Mom, Tony meant Bruce, called out

"Scrambled!" Tony answered

"Scrambled is fine." Steve responded, looking far too interested in the baseball game.

"It would be an honor to eat your cooking Banner! Eggs scrambled it is!" Thor rebounded.

"...I am fine...thank you." Loki's electric green eyes darted suspiciously. Ok, Reindeer Games, Bruce isn't going to poison you, damn what is with those two and thinking their food is poisoned? First Sailor Moon on the Quinjet, now Loki and the eggs. Their paranoia is a bit extreme, besides it'd totally be Natasha to poison him, not Bruce.

'I wonder what eggs Sailor Moon would eat. Well if he ate human food. Or 'fare' as his pompous ass calls it. He probably has never even eaten eggs. But that smile. That illegal fucking smile that I caused when I gave him those hear ain'ts. Hear aint's, what was I even thinking with that name? It's not even clever, it's a cheap pun. Hot damn, the way his scary pretty eyes looked into me, the way his lips curled and his ears! They actually moved!' Tony's thoughts drifted.

Tony had to get laid, or find some good porn, with some long haired blondes in it or something, but not the Thor version of long haired blond. Definitely with tribal tattoos. Nineties grunge porn.

Is 'nineties-grunge porn with silver haired gold eyed men striped in tribal tattoos and claws' even searchable on redtube? Well if it isn't...

'No. No. No. No. No. Bad Tony. I know you love bad ideas, and bucking the rules but seducing a Demon Lord is out of the question. Especially one who has a bizarrely close bromance with public enemy number one. Even for a hit it and quit it.' Tony jolted in surprise when a plate of eggs slid in front of him.

"I thought I smelled something burning, I knew it wasn't my eggs." Bruce grinned. Bastard.

They must have all been looking for a scapegoat for attention. Well, it is what Tony Stark does best.

"Yeah, I was thinking what proof do we have that our dear Demon Lord is that great of a strategist? Like, we only know are that he studied it. Do we have like a report card, SAT score, community college ID? If we are to ensure that the 'Sesshoki' power couple isn't going to lie and kill us all-"

"Sesshoki?! By the nines….and Sesshomaru doesn't lie. You can accuse me of a great many things, but what Sesshomaru says will come to pass." Loki seethed from sitting on the floor, apparently unwilling to sit in a chair. What is with them and furnishings?!

"Yeah. Liesmith? You could be lying about him remember?" Tony rolled his eyes, shoveling a forkful of eggs into his mouth. Loki darkened on the floor.

"And another run batted in by the Washington Nationals!" Steve deflated, clearly a Yankees fan.

"...Son of Taisho is indeed a brilliant general. He defended his lands during a time of great duress." Thor said instantly, inhaling his eggs. That piqued Tony's interest. Tony had noticed over the past few days that Sailor Moon and Point Break weren't exactly friends. Well, Thor probably thought of Sailor Moon as one, Tony severely doubted that the feeling was mutual since Sesshomaru avoided him.

Well, avoided everyone except Tony. He had always been on Tony's periphery, they had baited each other a few times into more question games. At one point Tony had returned to see Jaken wearing another of Tony's Black Sabbath hoodies. When he fought Jaken over it, by principle, it was his tower afterall, Sesshomaru stated, verbatim "It suits Jaken better." Seriously?! He was saying his own hoodie looked better on Toady. That stuck up bastard.

"Oh, so he has actual experience defending against an attack?" Bruce snapped Tony out of his thoughts. Bruce suddenly seemed interested, as he washed the frying pan.

Thor looked to Loki, and Loki gestured wildly with hands, green fairy lights appeared and morphed into a full color image of a guy who looked of like their near and dear Demon Lord.

Only he had his hair up, and bangs weren't as neat. His skin was darker and overall face appeared more rough and masculine. His face tattoos were the wrong color and also too thick and jagged and only one on them each cheek. No moon either, and his eyes were far more expressive under dark eyebrows. His chin also didn't have that tantalizing point to it.

Well, now that he thought about it, the only things similar to him were his hair and eye color.

Thor looked to Loki, deferring to him to talk, and Loki sighed heavily.

"They won't believe a thing I say!" Loki hung his head dramatically, dark long hair falling around him. He could spice up any reality TV show with his actions. Maybe 'Bad Girls Club'

"...ah...yes. This was Inu no Taisho, Sesshomaru's father, a great Lord and General." Thor gestured, Tony could see some resemblance, but it was if Sesshomaru was a much more refined, elegant version. If they were weapons, Sesshomaru would be the B-2 bomber, all sharp and stealth, and his father would be the f-18, all rugged and flashy. Tony knew weapons after all.

"Forgive me friends, this is an old tale, one known better to my brother than I, but I shall do my best to give it it's due accuracy." Thor cleared his throat of eggs.

"You see friends, Lord Inu no Taisho and my father were friends for centuries. They met when the he wished to expand the education of his generals, advisors, and son. Asgard had relations at the time with Demons, just not with humans. My father, along with others from the other nine realms decided to conduct tournaments and tutoring opportunities for their children on Midgard. Inu no Taisho, Lord of the West, was a famous General and a fearsome fighter." Thor explained and Loki moved his fingers as if weaving something into Odin and Inu no Taisho together.

"Inu no Taisho, eventually began a dalliance with a human noble named…Izayoi? Yes. Izayoi. The Western Lands were entangled in a time of war and strife, suffering attacks from both the Northern and Eastern lands." Thor began, and even Steve looked interested, probably because his Yankees sucked this season.

"However, Inu no Taisho, with his great prowess and ferocity, was able to rebuff these attacks. These times are when we knew Son of Taisho. War and conflict is all Son of Taisho knew growing up in the Western Lands. His father's dalliance resulted in Izayoi being with child." Tony decided to study Loki during this, but all he did was maintain the hologram, and look at the ground.

"This coupling was to many people's disappointment. Dog Demons are known to be quite loyal and Half-Demons were not tolerated but great Inu no Taisho cared not!" Tony heard Loki scoff slightly, the image altering to a great dragon.

"Lord Inu no Taisho, in order to save his son to be Inuyasha, and Izayoi, left his castle to save them from a great dragon, whose name escapes me." Thor admitted, but was a pretty good story teller in his own right. Tony thought he had to get Sailor Moon to tell another one about Loki soon.

"Ryokuutsei." Loki supplied, voice dim. Tony could tell he wasn't having a whole lot of fun talking about Sailor Moon's past.

"The knight saves the maiden from the dragon, we've heard this one before." Steve turned off the massacre of a baseball game.

"...not quite. During their mighty battle, Sesshomaru, Son of Taisho was named Lord Regent until Inu no Taisho's return. Their enemies seized this opportunity of supposed weakness and allied to invade the Western Lands while their Lord was off gallivanting." Thor's voice darkened as he finished his eggs and Tony didn't feel hungry anymore.

"Many deemed Sesshomaru not ready to lead, despite his acclaim and intelligence. Allfather stated to us his father tested his son with this scenario to see if he was fit to be Lord. When the Northern and Eastern armies conducted a pincer attack, not only did many of his forces defect, surrender or run, but all of Son of Taisho's family: Uncles, Aunts, Cousins and friends challenged him for his title of Lord Regent, a right they did not have." At this point, the image Loki conjured had morphed into a burning horizon, spears, blood, swords and corpses everywhere.

"Fun for the whole family." Tony heard himself say. Christ, talk about family drama, definitely rivals Point Break and Reindeer Games.

"Sesshomaru was forced to slay anyone who challenged his rule, his own kin and friends. He then had to defend the Western Lands against near impossible odds, the enemy armies coupled outnumbering the lingering forces three to one." Thor looked uncomfortable, he kept looking to Loki who didn't look back.

"Wait, he had to kill his own family? And conduct a defense of his homeland at the same time?" Steve questioned, finally touching his eggs.

"Aye, I once met some of those relatives and friends, fine Demons, however the lust of power tainted their minds and poisoned their hearts." Thor looked to Loki, who just, again changed the illusion to a miserable, gut strewn battlefield with a deft movement of fingers.

"Talk about family feud." Bruce leaned back against the counter, and Tony knew it was his queue to say something witty but couldn't think of anything.

"Against all odds, Sesshomaru defended his stronghold against the invading forces. Allfather states he utilized spies to cut off their supply routes, and various fire attacks to isolate the vanguard from the cavalry. He even managed to flood a whole section of the battlefield, behind the fire attacks, rendering their siege towers and catapults useless in mud or rotting. He even poisoned the water supply of their archers by his own hand. Lastly, he challenged the Lord of the Eastern Lands, a great Tiger Demon...named..." Thor trailed, eyes going off and up to the left.

"Lord Huto." Loki helped, smirking slightly.

"Aye, and decapitated him in front of his own army." Thor smiled, flicking his fork across his throat.

Loki finally conjured an image of a slightly younger Sesshomaru, eyes like a dead flame, covered in gaping lacerations. His left ear hung limply on his head, nearly torn off, fresh blood covering the left side of his face and neck. His mouth a straight line of ice. In his right hand he held a head by the hair, roughly hacked off at the neck, and he held it up high. With fire and smoke in the background he looked like a Demon the Bible described, sans horns and wicked smile.

"He even put the head in one of his own catapults and launched it back at their retreating forces." Loki laughed, and Tony couldn't tell if thinking that move was badass now got him a membership at 'Sociopaths 'R Us'.

"And this guy is living in my basement. I'll have to hide my catapults." Tony admitted lamely, still trying to rectify the wet and smiling silver haired man in his bathroom earlier today, with this gruesome version.

'But hey, didn't I do the same before Afghanistan, just with more explosions and less claws? Is what we did really that dissimilar? I just didn't personally have the blood on me, well, until I became Iron Man' Tony self-reflected, not a talent of his.

"The Western Lands lost much of their bordering lands, but managed to save a sizable portion of the interior. Many of his people were slain, injured, sullied, or lost everything in the attempted invasion. Sesshomaru obtained a reputation as a cunning, fearsome and ruthless leader in fending off the intruders, his family, and defected troops. He inspired great loyalty and notoriety." Thor straightened a bit, as if in reverence.

"Oh yes, but at what cost?" Loki finally spoke up, and conjured a great skeleton.

"Inu no Taisho was slain in the battle against the great dragon, but managed to save Inuyasha, the unborn half demon, and his mother." Thor grimaced. Tony sucked in a gulp of air, he knew how that felt, to some extent.

"Wait so, what happened next?" Steve ate more of his eggs, curiosity piqued.

"Son of Taisho became Lord of the Western Lands. Son of Taisho then began to reclaim the power at the height of his father's reign. His brother remained a mystery to me, I never met him. I heard he may have been pinned to a tree or sealed away at some point." Thor took a big gulp of water.

"Half-brother. And that is true." Loki automatically corrected. Steve's eyes lit up.

"That was him? He told me about him, said he was there for like fifty years before some other priestess released him or something. He made it sound like it was just acquaintance of his." Steve imputed and Loki's eyebrows furrowed, clearly news to him. Tony frowned, so Sailor Moon opened up to Steve, huh? Why Steve? What made Bedclothes so special?

"Did he have a mother?" Tony surprised himself by asking that question. He didn't even know he wanted to ask it.

Thor looked to Loki, apparently he had no idea.

"…She lived, but we never met her and Sesshomaru did not mention her much. I suspect her existence in Sesshomaru's life was quite distant, if you are to believe my opinion." Loki dismissed his illusions and remained on the floor, looking pale.

Tony couldn't help but draw some fierce parallels from Sesshomaru's upbringing and his own. Critical, testing father who had his attentions elsewhere, distant, mostly absent mother. Sesshomaru, despite being nobility, certainly didn't have a cake walk of a time. Their childhoods, or upbringings really, actually resonated with Tony more than he wanted to admit.

"So... basically, you're saying that Sesshomaru may be one of our best chances at fending off an alien invasion, if we choose to believe you." Bruce looked weary but focused.

"Aye. He is a great general and has unbound persistence. When we saw him weeks after the last battle, he was still covered in scars and wounds he did not have a chance to heal from fighting on the front lines so vigorously." Thor explained.

Tony, hearing all of this, still wasn't convinced. Ok so Sailor Moon had experience thwarting invasions that happened like five centuries ago. It wasn't exactly the Fuedal Era of Japan anymore.

They had heavier firepower for one, helicarriers, AGM-69 SRAM cruise missiles, you name it. And from Tony had seen so far, Sesshomaru didn't seem to do much except strangle people with his whip, make a curiously strong toxin, and stand half naked in shower doors looking wet and bored. Oh, and the scrying thing, couldn't forget about that.

In fact, looking over to Point Break, aside from speed he had no idea how he managed to go close to even with Thor in melee battles. Thor seemed a lot stronger and he could strike people down with lightning. It didn't make sense that Sailor Moon stood a chance, unless his youki or something did more than he studied it could.

That was another thing that made Tony restless, is that he didn't know what Sesshomaru could do. He was used to having weapons of potential mass destruction in his tower, however, usually he knew of their exact capabilities.

"Sorry if I am going to burst everyone's little bubble but he defended an attack from a bunch of spear wielding cat people. How is this relevant now? We have stronger weapons, vehicles faster than a horse, and oh yeah space ships and portals to space." Tony leaned back in his chair, looking to Loki for a challenge. He indeed looked a bit annoyed, but much to Tony's dismay he didn't appear take what Tony said seriously since he just hit the back of his head against the wall, sighing up to the ceiling.

"Yeah, battle strategy has changed a lot since I was a soldier as well and that was only seventy years ago." Steve added, agreeing to Tony's point and swaying the room's attitude towards skepticism.

"The principles of the strategy are still quite sound. Besides, Sesshomaru is studying this realm and its technological achievements. Also, you should not underestimate the power of Demons, especially a Demon like Sesshomaru possesses. You haven't seen what he is truly capable of and honestly, probably neither have I." Loki stood, Tony looked to Thor for confirmation. He hadn't known Sailor Moon had been studying, and what was he studying? He could or should have just asked him!

First he goes and opens up to Steve, now he is reading 'the 21st century for dummies' without telling him.

"Demons are quite strong Man of Iron; I have fought many Demons and their powers can rival Midgard's weaponry. Inu no Taisho himself wielded a sword named Sounga, the Sword of Hell. Its power could level mountains, and call upon Demons from their underworld. The only weapons I have seen that rival it in power is Mjolnir, Gungnir, and perhaps Son of Taisho's new sword, Bakusaiga. I know not much of his new sword, but its energy is considerable." Thor rubbed his chin.

"So, you're saying that, well, by transitive property, that Backstreet Boy is as strong as Mjolnir?" Well, Tony, scratched his beard, that was something. Maybe it too had powers outside creating scry-nados and being a general pain in the ass. Maybe the reason why Sailor Moon hadn't used it wasn't just to be mysterious but also to be cautious.

"In different ways. They are very different weapons. However, I sense something very strange about Son of Taisho's swords. It is as if they are somewhat sentient." Thor expounded and Tony just rubbed his hand down his face. He, like Clint, had had enough of talking about the swords as if they could possibly be alive. Loki turned his face up to his brother, as if impressed.

"Those swords, are no ordinary weapons. Even I know not what Bakusaiga is capable of, and I suspect that Tenseiga has yet to reveal his full power as well. You speak of your weapons here in Midgard and your technological advancements, I would state you not underestimate his weapons or my own gifts." Loki spoke up, flaring his green magic into the shape of a missile, then a sword.

"Yeah, I never said I'd underestimate what he is capable of. I've studied his youki, he can heal himself and apparently cause damage faster than Steve can say the Yankees are terrible!" Tony found himself protesting.

"I'd never say that. They're just having a rebuilding year." Steve huffed good naturedly.

"When we studied together, his strategies were second only to mine. He was always far too reckless with his own self in battle." Loki drew runes in magic on the floor.

"Well, yeah, sounds like he had a lot to prove trying to get out of big daddy's shadow when he basically abandoned his job and people for his side piece and a bun in the oven. His father left him a mess to clean up and he had to do it alone since his mom lit out and everyone else tried to kill him." Tony white knighted Sesshomaru and Steve and Bruce looked to him, a little surprised.

"What? I think I know a little about trying to live up to daddy's indomitable legacy and having your closest family betray you when shit hits the fan." Tony reached under where he was seated and got out a hidden fifth of vodka. Screwdrivers it was.

"I agree with your assessment of his motivations Stark, however I still do not approve of his approach to his own station in battle." Loki, sounded angry, as if it was a recurring fight between himself and Sesshomaru. Tony got up and mixed his drink.

"Well, yeah, you're friends. You don't want to see him get hurt." Steve, ever the ray of sunshine, all the sudden made Loki straighten and he looked as serious as a heart attack.

He stood up suddenly and went to Thor, hands balled at his sides. His knuckles white and Tony thought he may attack of he wasn't trembling slightly.

"If you remain unconvinced of my claims, even with Sesshomaru's examination, do as you wish with me. I can't say it will be effective because nothing will stop me, save death, from going after the Other and the Mad Titan alone." Loki swallowed, and he could tell Thor as about to protest.

"Be that as it may, if there is any ardor, any respect of me still in you Thor you will convince Odin to return him. You will not allow my designs to bring harm to him or his. You will not allow SHIELD…" Loki looked to Bruce, Tony, and Steve "…to take him or his." Loki's commanding voice echoed and took a deep breath and held his brother's gaze intently.

Oh hell no, SHIELD doesn't just to get to take people. They don't get to have whatever they want. Tony took a deep, biting, sip of his drink.

"Of course brother. You have my vow that he will not suffer any repercussions, but you make it sound going after this Titan and the Other is..." Thor trailed off

"Something akin to suicide, yes. I know the odds, I'm a seasoned strategist, it's one reason why I haven't already." Loki set his jaw and Thor looked like he may have a breakdown. Tony couldn't handle another breakdown, not so quickly after scrybaby.

"You're also implying SHIELD will try use us to apprehend someone who hasn't committed any crime! Sesshomaru hasn't done anything wrong, he isn't even here by choice." Steve raised his idealism meter to 'super patriot'.

"They um, did try to nuke New York. And you heard Fury and saw how excited he was with someone he thought was Loki on Earth. I wouldn't put it past him if he found out about the 'Sesshoki' bromance They'd try something." Tony leaned back and looked Loki straight in his intense green eyes.

He really meant it. Whatever the fuck was going on, Loki didn't want anything to happen to him. He could respect that. What's power if you can't use it to protect people you care about?

"I agree with Tony. SHIELD can't be trusted fully. They deceived us about Agent Coulson. They constantly track my movements and see me as a liability. I don't know how it would get out that you two are friends-" Tony coughed "Legolas!" and Bruce glared back. "But, I won't let SHIELD get their hands on what they think is another monster." Bruce agreed and Loki took almost a full step back, like he lost his balance.

Tony barely caught the whispered thank you come from the sorcerer.

"Yeah. There's no fun in that. I'm pretty sure Pepper would fire sale Stark Industries if I made Rin cry, much less give her father over to the overlords on SHIELD's council because of their pants-on-head crazy power trip. Besides Sailor Moon is a riot when he isn't teaming up with Point Break and blowing up my kitchen." Tony silently added to himself, 'and isn't bad to look at either.'

"Well, like I said before, I cannot allow SHIELD to apprehend anyone who hasn't done anything wrong, even if he does call me bedclothes." Steve amended his previous statement.

"Bedclothes? Oh your uniform...yes I can see it." Loki's face lit up devilishly and Steve simmered. Tony took a full gulp of his drink, heavy on the screw, not so much on the driver. God he needed to get laid.

"What do you think we are up against brother?" Thor changed the subject and Loki sighed again, gesturing to Tony, Steve and Bruce as if to say again, they wouldn't believe him. Tony sighed, might as well hear what he has to say. Tony was smart enough, hopefully, to figure out if Loki was either fearmongering them or understating the threat.

"Just talk, we all know you like to." Tony threw his hands in the air which caused Loki to flash an almost genuine smile.

"The secondary fleet consists of six ships, two Cruisers, one Destroyer, two Battleships, and The Mad Titan's own Flagship. The Mad Titan, humorously enough, took a shine to Midgardian Greek mythology. The Aethon and The Nycteus, a nod to Hades' horses, are the Cruisers and the fleet's swiftest." Loki conjured the image of the Cruisers, both black, with a purple Axe insignia across the tail's vertical stabilizer.

The cruisers looked oddly like Virginia class attack submarines, only sharper with slight wings off the sides.

"The Worldslayer, their Destroyer, is their main weapon. The Mad Titan usually uses this Destroyer in worlds he plans on conquering, not obliterating." Loki's image of the Cruisers now included the Destroyer.

The destroyer, Tony could understand why it looked like it was their main weapon. It was if someone stretched a sea urchin, flattened it, and bent it into a chevron shape. It had a large white eye on its underside and definitely could pack a punch. If Sailor Moon's swords were sentient, this thing was a fucking living monster, like those whale monsters that showed up three years ago.

"I have…rather intimate knowledge of the Other's Battleship, The Relentless. It is most likely quite similar to its' sister ship The Voracious. Though I know not who commands The Voracious." Loki conjured image of the battleships, and Tony leaned back, so the Other, commanded one of the battleships.

The battleships that Loki showed them honestly didn't look like much. They looked like discs, like what everyone thought UFO's looked like back in the fifties. They were hollow in the middle, yet Loki could tell that Tony didn't look impressed and the image morphed to show the disc was actually a series of rings, that turned out into an easily understood shape of an atom. The hollow space in between them glowed ultra-violet.

"The battleships, together, have the capability of turning Midgard to gravel." Loki educated, the ultraviolet core of the battleships glowed and the rings turned, also glowing purple. Obviously these ships had some sort of laser ray, or a rave. Probably both, Natasha did call Loki Glow Stick.

"So what about the flagship, brother?" Thor inquired, poking one of the magicked images, causing The Aethon to distort. Loki paused in his magicked illustrations to look Thor, then Tony, Steve, and Bruce straight in the eye.

"The Umbra." Loki's voice sounded breathy and if Tony were to guess, a hair scared.

"The Mad Titan's flagship, is what truly concerns me." Loki's fingers weaved through the air and what appeared wasn't very concerting.

Loki revealed a funnel shaped ship, all black and flexing, as if it was constructed in segments. Inside the funnel were blades that Tony could only describe as teeth, rows and rows not unlike a shark, each spinning clockwise, then the next row counter clockwise and so forth. The mouth glowed the same ultraviolet purple, and the outside red lines glowed out from its segmented parts.

It was a ship, Tony thought, a Demon would command.

"The Umbra is a ship that exists to negate all. Its name means shadow, but really it is more of a void. No world has survived her plunder if she wished for the planet's annihilation. You can bow, you can kneel, you can pledge upmost fealty to The Mad Titan, but if all he wants is blood and bones, nothing will save you. Your existence will simply be undone." Loki's voice, for once, didn't hold any emotion. He sounded like he just stated fact, and that caught Tony's attention. He would have to talk to Loki about what sort of firepower they could expect from them.

The mood in the room took a considerable nosedive.

"Well, as much as this awkward bonding experience was fun and rewarding, I have some projects to work on. I'll catch up with you guys when Legolas and Nat come back from Fury's booty call." Tony filled up his drink again and retreated to his workshop, seeing if he could start on the proximity barrier, and maybe try to figure out what Sailor Moon's toxin was like, without a sample.

Youki worked differently than magic, almost like Sesshomaru could mute his completely, whereas Loki's magic always had a little residue. He also had no idea how after Sesshomaru talked to Loki on the roof that Sesshomaru's magic signature disappeared. Had to do with the N*sync sword he suspected.

Hours passed, as did a few cocktails.

He started a base replica of Sesshomaru's youki, in theory. With some modicum of promise he could make it probably physically recreate his 'artificial' youki. Well, at least he thought so. It was all a matter of charging the air in a particular way, and manipulating the wavelengths and frequencies. With the large amount of data that Jarvis gathered from when Sesshomaru flashed his youki before, he could probably get close to replicating it soon.

The toxin, however, he would definitely need a sample of. The work on the youki would also go faster if he had a sample of it as well.

"Sir, miss Potts has returned with the glass repairman, Lord Sesshomaru's dry cleaning and your outfit." Jarvis reported.

"Oh OK, and you can't refer to him as Lord, if anyone should Lord in my own house it should be me." Tony put down his instruments and began to bound up the stairs.

"What should I call him sir? I doubt he would approve of anything you currently refer to him as." Jarvis answered.

"I don't know, be creative." Tony smiled as Pepper came in, all smiles and looking fit. She was definitely up to something, and at least she did her hair the way that flatters her the most.

"You're absolutely scary you know that? But seeing Sesshomaru slingshot Loki out of my window and kick him down was a highlight of my life. Jarvis saved the video." Tony greeted Pepper and she put some paperwork in his hand, still the only one who was allowed to hand him things.

"Yes I am aware but it was really more for me than you. You need to sign for the window estimate, these quarterlies, oh and for the tailor." Tony scribbled nonsense on what he thought were the right lines.

"Oh tailor, what suit are you going to make wear to the Gala now?" Tony leaned back waiting to not be impressed and Pepper held out two garment bags.

"I already picked out a suit for you last month for the upcoming Gala in Pittsburgh on the 17th, which as Tony Stark, you promised me you would attend. This one is Sesshomaru's dry cleaning. The dry cleaners were astounded by the material, they kept saying it was magical silk. The tailor sadly couldn't find any magic silk so normal human silk will have to do…" Tony inwardly groaned at the prospect of the Gala and Pepper put Sailor Moon's outfit down. Tony all the sudden had a bad feeling.

"Pepper...what are you talking about?" Tony's jaw dropped as he was confronted with an outfit that was an exact replica of Sesshomaru's, except where Sesshomaru's was white, his was red, where Sesshomaru's was red, his was gold, and the sash thing was black.

'This is the worst thing I think I have ever seen. Isn't this cultural appropriation? There is no way I'm wearing this kimono.' Tony held up the yukata like it might burn him.

"Sesshomaru and Natasha informed me of a certain bet that took place on the Quinjet, you know the one where you didn't tell me you were attacked by a Demon Lord and we have been over this, that you have to tell me these things. You apparently said you would make your own Demon outfit if Sesshomaru managed to bring Loki to Stark Tower. We need to work on your gambling, by the way. So. I helped you uphold your end of it." Pepper handed him the outfit and his own ass. Tony's jaw dropped, it was official, Sesshomaru went from best thing to happen that day, to absolute worst.

"This should be a fireable offense." Tony looked at the outfit and cringed, he didn't even have a clue how to put the damn thing on.

"You can't fire me. And just be lucky Sesshomaru allowed you to have your color palette. Natasha was gunning for pink." Pepper smiled triumphantly. Tony paled, he was not about to wear pink.

"Hey ma'am, hate to be a bother but you ain't got any broken glass windows here." The glass guy, Merle, came back and sure enough the glass pane was intact. Tony didn't even notice it happen.

"Huh. He's been unusually helpful." Tony still held the outfit, trying to think of a place to stash it. Or burn it, maybe he could reuse the fire pit Sailor Moon made. No Thor washed it out with his rain dance. Damn. Maybe he could put it in the oven, and then have Loki fix it after it caught on fire.

"Hmmm. You're so right. Thanks Merle you can go; Jarvis will see you out." Pepper turned to Tony and whispered "Loki fixed a window he was thrown out of? Is this really the same guy?" Pepper looked astounded, looking around to see if Loki was hiding or lurking somewhere.

"He also fixed the microwave Point Break totaled this morning." Tony added, still a bit confused.

"Well, if Sesshomaru sticks around I'm making sure Rin goes to the dentist, all that ice cream can't be good. I'm off, I have to go back. Also if he sticks around..." Pepper typed a reminder in her phone quickly and Tony knew exactly what Pepper was referring to.

"Yeah, yeah, I'll tell Rhodey about the Empire Strikes Back." Tony sighed exasperated. He was not looking forward to telling Rhodey about the squatters he had in his basement. Rhodey might shoot him. Might. Actually, he would probably try to shoot Loki.

Or call a predator drone strike on the tower. Tony just swallowed, he didn't know which was worse, the outfit or telling Rhodes about Loki and his Demon bestie.

"Good. And I told Natasha about the outfit so don't play dumb." Pepper called out as she clipped down to the elevator "Let me know how battle strategy brain storm goes!" Tony huffed.

"Will do!...God I'm incinerating you." Tony said in a fake cheerful voice. looked down at the outfit in disgust. "How do cos-players look at themselves in the mirror, like literally and figuratively?!" Tony muttered,

'Great, if I destroy it, Natasha will probably make me body paint the outfit on. How. Just how did I suddenly not become in total control of my Tower?! Oh, yeah, that's right, a certain uppity, arrogant, apathetic Demon Lord who, apparently I want to ride like a joystick in my wet dream. Good job Tony Stark, you're officially in trouble.' Tony, finally, finally admitted it, coincidentally right as the object of his frustration walked back through the door, flashing his cold, gold eyes his way for the briefest of moments before his ears lifted and his lip curled upward ever so slightly.

He was still holding the stupid outfit. Caught red-silk handed, Tony just put his head in his hands. This, mayhem-magnet, sexually frustrating Demon Lord was the bane of his existence.

Sorry for the delay in this chapter! I was busy on another fic, and i was waffling on how i wanted this one to end!

Thank you for all your continued support! It truly means a lot to me and makes my day :) You are all so great, I was going to a specialized shout out, but i wanted to get this chapter out since it was so late in coming!

-TL