Pacifica's Consort

by Mixt

Mr. and Mrs Northwest are throwing a party at their mansion and inviting a plethora of rich heirs. Sick of having rich boys from her parents parties hit on her, Pacifica (Now 16) video calls Dipper (Now 16) and asks him to be her escort for the night. Her parents have no idea, and if they did, they wouldn't approve.

"Are you sure there's no other way?" Dipper Pines, age sixteen, asked out loud. Time had done little to his image. The only real difference between twelve-year-old Dipper and sixteen-year-old Dipper was the height, He'd gotten taller. Not insanely, but noticeably. Oh, and he was back to a pine tree hat mailed to him by Soos from the gift shop back at the Mystery Shack. Wendy's hat had really worn out over the years, so he bought a mannequin head and displayed it in his personal study (Right next to the ghost hunters book Pacifica had bought him. In front of him on his dimly lit desk, was his personalized laptop. Inside were detailed notes on everything even semi-weird he'd come across in his hometown, Piedmont. He also had three backup physical copies, though. "I thought your dad had loosened up."

On his screen wasn't any sort of cryptid, though. It was his close friend from Gravity Falls, Pacifica Northwest. As far as her looks were concerned, she was still the cream of the crop in Gravity Falls and probably all of Oregon. Long blonde hair, flawless skin, great figure, and the best sense of fashion around. The two had reconnected recently when she heard that he and his twin sister were coming back for another summer. "Loosened up?" She asked incredulously. "Where'd you get that idea?"

"Well... I mean we've been video chatting for nearly a month now." Dipper said rubbing the back of his head. "And you've said nothing about him. Not a single horror story."

"So, because I've said nothing, everything's hunky-dory over here? Way to jump to conclusions, nerd." Pacifica said back. She pinched the bridge of her nose. "Dipper, I didn't talk about him, because he's gotten worse. I can't even imagine the trouble I could get in for using the family computer to face-time with a Pines."

"You say it like it's a bad thing." Dipper pouted. "I know you're back to being the richest family in Gravity Falls, but I thought he'd have learned a lesson in his time in the lower upper class. How could he be any worse? The bell?"

Pacifica chuckled lightly. "No. He tried. But as soon as it didn't work anymore, he threw the whole collection out. Even the solid gold ones. He's found new ways to torture me. He watches me like a hawk in the daytime. Hence why we always talk so late at night. He only lets me hang around other rich kids. And that's not even the worst of it." She started twirling her hair nervously. "The worst part is he kind of... seriously hates you. And Mabel. And Stan. And Ford. And by extension Soos and Wendy. And we're not talking pettiness between him and lower classes here, we're talking he wants you excommunicated from Gravity Falls." She sighed. "I tried talking to him about it..." She just shook her head slowly.

"No luck, huh?" Dipper asked leaning back into his chair. "Guess I shouldn't be surprised. He's not an easy guy to talk to. But why us? He's never even met Grunkle Ford."

"He hates that you guys are heroes. Everybody in town loves you and your family, a bunch of commoners, no offense," Dipper just shrugged in response. "more than they like him. Sure, he's spoken of highly... until you guys come up. He'll do anything to avoid a situation where the name Pines can come up. And I hate it!"

"All this and you still want me to go through with this crazy idea? Based on what you told me he'd one hundred percent kill me if I went anywhere near you." Dipper said. "Not the way I want to go out. And for a party of all things?"

"You listen to me Dipper," She said in a threatening voice, leaning forward. "You're going to do exactly as I tell you to do. Because though you're not rich, I'll sue you for whatever money you do have. You and your sister. You'll be penniless and begging at my feet for minimum wage!"

Dipper sat there in silence for a moment before chuckling. In an instant that chuckle developed into full laughter. Between laughs he began to compose himself and let out a deep breath. "Oh, Pacifica, you crack me up. The old you might've gotten me with that. But I know the real you. You don't really want to sue anyone. You're not like them."

"I'm serious!" Pacifica snapped. "I'll do it!"

"Prove it." Dipper said giving her a challenging look. "What are you gonna sue me for?"

"Stupid boy." She quipped. "You don't need a reason to sue someone if you've got enough money."

"Well?" Dipper prodded. "Let's hear it. Look me in the screen and tell me with full conviction, 'I'm taking you to court.'"

Pacifica sagged back into her chair and huffed. "Fine. You're right." She said throwing up her hands. "You're like the coolest person I know, despite being a total nerd." She admitted lightly blushing. "I wouldn't force you into anything, let alone sue you. But as a friend, I'm begging you... just accompany me to this stupid party..." She looked up into his virtual eyes. "please."

"You still haven't told me why you want me. You're Pacifica Northwest. You could get every hot guy in Oregon to line up at your door just for a chance to take you to your mailbox." Dipper probed. Though he was using hyperbole, he was sure that there was probably truth in that statement.

"I don't trust anyone else!" She snapped slamming her clenched fist against the table. The action was strong enough that Dipper's image of her began shaking for a moment too. "All those boys... with their lecherous looks. You don't understand what it's like. My parents have always displayed me like an object, so that's what I became to these boys." She thought back to her sweet sixteen party. She put on her favorite dress, showered, and readied herself to make some new friends. Her father had bought her five different cars, nice yes, until she found out that everyone on the guest list was the son of another out of touch rich dude. Not a single girl was even invited. She spent the entire party being tossed boy to boy like some sort of trading card. "There's always so many of them and no way to get them away from me. Rich people aren't used to the word 'no'."

"So what? You want me to go on a date with you to fight off rich dudes who just want you for your looks?" Dipper asked. Pacifica nodded meekly. "Have you seen this?" He rolled up his sleeve slowly. He clenched his right arm up flexing out his muscles... what little he had. "I'm just as scrawny as you remember."

"Look, Dipper. I've already explained everything." Pacifica said sadly. "If you still don't want to do it, then I guess I do have two weeks to figure everything out. But I just figured... you know... you were the best-case scenario. That's why I'm asking you and not some hottie from the internet. Yes, I'm insanely rich. Yes, I'm insanely hot. But there's more to me than that. And right now, I feel like you and your sister are the only ones who really understand that."

"Wow." Dipper responded shocked. He started rubbing the back of his neck. "I had no idea you felt this way, Pacifica. I guess I can't really turn you down, can I?" He smiled. Pacifica's eyes suddenly lit up with hope. "I hope those rich guys aren't too jacked."

"They are." Pacifica said. "But your scrawny butt has fought an apocalypse, so try not to hurt anyone too bad." Suddenly Mabel busted through Dipper's bedroom door.

"Dip-dop!" She called cartwheeling into the room. "Whatchya doin?! I saw a light and thought, man that looks pretty! I bet he's doing work on some sort of weirdo monster like normal since he clearly doesn't know how to talk to girls!" She rattled off quickly. She was all but literally bouncing off the walls with her seemingly endless energy. "Hey is that Paz-Paz?! Hey!" Mabel's main difference in appearance from her younger counterpart was the lack of braces. She had also grown a bit but the braces were the most notable. She still had a knack for wearing clothes that didn't match and wore sweatshirts even in the summer.

"Hi Mabel." She waved. "You're looking... hyper." Pacifica responded carefully. "Are those light-up shoes?"

"Heck yeah!" She lifted one leg up into the air. "As soon as I learned they don't make light-up shoes for adults, I commissioned a local shoe artist and wham-mo! Brand new light-up shoes! Everyone loves them so much they're always laughing at them!"

"Shoe artist?"

"Don't ask." Dipper swiveled around slowly to face his sister. "Mabel what happened? I thought you went to bed hours ago."

"Well I couldn't sleep so I thought 'Hey! Why don't I go try some of that Melatonin Dipper takes every night?' and then I thought 'Hey that's a great idea Mabel, you're so smart.' so I took one, but it didn't have any flavor so I had to follow it up with like a liter of Mabel Juice just to make it bearable!" She was fidgeting like a little kid in front of a giant needle with a big dumb grin on her face.

"Mabel," Dipper said facepalming. "Melatonin isn't supposed to have flavor. The sugar in your stupid drink has more than reversed the effects of the drug. You're probably more hyper now than before." He groaned, refusing to remove his hand from his face. "Go. To. Bed."

Mabel gave out a raspberry at her brother. "Fine. You're no fun, Dipper. Goodnight bro. Goodnight, Pacifica, and just so you know, Dipper sleeps with a lock of your hair under his pillow, bye!"

Dipper's eyes shot open and he quickly slammed his laptop shut. He glared up at Mabel intensely. "What do you think you're doing?!" He snapped. "A lock of her hair under my pillow? Really?!"

"I'm not allowed to use my matchmaking skills on two of my favorite people in the world?" Mabel replied curtly. "It's so romantic." She swooned.

"It's not romantic." Dipper interjected quickly. "It's creepy. And false. The only thing under my pillow is my emergency silver mirror. And now I'm going to have to try to explain to her why I'm not a creepy weirdo!"

"While you're at it, you might want to work in a confession. You talk about her all the time. Take it from the future Love God, it's best to just get it off your chest." Mabel advised. "Also, do you have any flavored medicine?"

"Out!" He reiterated. "And stay away from my medications!" As she cartwheeled back out of the room, Dipper let out another sigh and slowly opened the laptop back up, revealing Pacifica's face once again.

"Is crazy gone, now?" She asked. "She's way too distracting."

"Yeah, she's gone. And about that hair thing..." Dipper said nervously scratching the back of his head. "don't listen to Mabel. I don't sleep with your hair, I promise."

"Oh, is my hair not good enough for you?" Pacifica shot back with a glare. "Not enticing enough?"

"Correct." Dipper responded. He sat there for a second and thought about what he just said. "...wait no. Of course, your hair is good enough! It's perfectly enticing, in fact if I did steal someone's hair it would definitely be yours!" He let out a sigh of relief and wiped the sweat from his forehead. 'Nailed it.' he thought to himself.

"So, you do want to sleep with my hair under your pillow?" Pacifica asked, smirking. "You really are a weirdo."

Dippers eyes opened back up and in a second, he slammed his forehead against his desk. "You were... just messing with me, right?" He asked not looking up.

"Duh, Dipstick." She replied in a snarky tone. "I see you haven't outgrown your awkward phase yet." She commented. "How does it always overshadow your intelligence? You'll have to work on that."

"Dipstick?" Dipper asked raising an eyebrow slowly lifting his head back up. "Really, money-grubber?"

"Serf." Pacifica shot back quickly.

"Fragile."

"Scruffy."

"Pompous."

"Alien kisser."

"Pseudo-blonde."

"How dare you insult my hair! That is too far, Pines! I am one hundred percent natural!" Pacifica exclaimed playfully. "You need to learn how to talk to a lady properly! Especially when that lady is as important as me!"

Dipper chuckled."Well I'll try to have it fixed for you by the party's deadline. But, in my defense, you are extremely hard to get along with." He smiled. "So, promising anything would be dishonest of me."

Pacifica's eyes lit up like flares. In an instant she forgot their little play-fight. "You mean you'll do it?!" She asked excitedly. "You'll be my escort?!"

"Right..." Dipper tugged at his collar, letting the heat out. "...escort. Anything for you, Pacifica. Really it was never a question of if I was willing to help, but if you would really stoop to a commoner's level. Or if your father would even let me." He explained. "Like I said you could have anyone, and anyone would make your dad happier than me."

"Dipper..." She spoke softly. "I wouldn't have asked you if I didn't want it to be you." She said seriously shaking her head left to right. "And who cares what my father thinks? Maybe he could think about my happiness for once." Pacifica finished crossly. "First Saturday of summer, I'll email you the dossier. It's mostly people from outside the Falls so be careful what you talk about. And be sure to wear a tuxedo, or they really won't let you in. Who knows if this goes well, you might be allowed a second."

"A tux? Do I have to?" Dipper whined. "You know I hate them." He thought back to the first time he ever wore a tux. The night he met the real Pacifica. He could remember clearly that he undid that collar first chance he got. And vowed never to wear one again.

"You're right." Pacifica responded crossing her arms against her chest and turning away. "Why couldn't I have asked someone like Robbie? He's not afraid of a piece of clothing." She opened her left eye quickly to catch Dipper's reaction.

"That's low, Pacifica. Who'd have thought you'd use my rivalry with Robbie to get what you want?" Dipper jested.

"Yeah, well, I think you'll learn very quickly that there's a reason Northwest's have a reputation for getting everything they want." She quipped standing up. "Same time, next week? We still have a lot of catching up to do, after all."

"I'd like that." Dipper nodded. "Goodnight, Pacifica."

"Goodnight, Dipper."

~2 weeks later~

~New Northwest Manor~

Dipper, clad in his new tuxedo, simple white undershirt buttoned up under a black collared over-layer and matching black pants, walked up the Northwest's driveway. Not a complex suit, but he wasn't really there looking to impress the ladies. As far as he was concerned the prettiest among them was already his date for the night. Grunkle Stan had driven him there but had refused to drive up the driveway himself, for a fear of 'catching their stupid'.

"You've got this Dipper." He told himself. "Sure, you have little dating experience, and no experience with dating higher-class people, but there's no inter-dimensional demons, living video game characters, or time travel paradoxes. How could you mess this up?" He took a step onto the doormat that advertised their family name, placed right outside the door. He took a deep breath before grabbing the ring and banging it against the door. He straightened his hair one last time before the door could open.

He had expected Pacifica to be there, given he texted her that he was on his way. But as luck would have it, it wasn't Pacifica at the door. It was her mother. Priscilla. She looked down at the boy with a glare. "What," She said in a biting voice. "are you doing here?"

"Uhh..." He stuttered as he got lost in the woman's eyes. And not in the good way. Not many people had ever looked at him with much hatred. It was honestly pretty disarming. Almost scary enough to make him turn around and go back to the Shack. Almost. "... Hi, Mrs. Northwest." He waved finally. "Is Paz here?" He tried peeking around her but he couldn't make anything out.

"Paz?" She asked.

"Yeah." Dipper said. "You know, your daughter? About yea high, long blonde hair, biting comments, you got amnesia or something?" He hadn't meant to be rude, but to his defense, he was raised with Mabel. He wasn't used to the high-class. And pretty much his entire family responded in sarcastic comments.

"Surely you do not intend on calling my little princess that stupid nickname. Her name is 'Lady Pacifica' to you."

Dipper stifled his laughter quickly. "Lady?" He asked, lip quivering. "Seriously? Pacifica and I are friends, I'm not going to call her 'Lady Pacifica' every time I talk to her."

"Shouldn't be too much of a problem seeing as there's no way I'd let you near my daughter. Not only are you a commoner, but trouble follows you everywhere you go."

"You mean... Pacifica didn't tell you?" He asked. "She asked me to be her escort for the night." He said with a tinge of pride. "Not really my scene, but anything for Paz. This commoner is ready to really experience the finer things." He boasted. "So, can I come in?" Priscilla quickly slammed the door in his face before he could say another word. He flinched at the loud bang of the doors. And his heart sank further when he heard ten locks click behind the door.

"Well, so much for the direct approach." He said sadly. "I always thought that if I could just get her away from her husband, she might not be so bad. Guess I was wrong. Wonder if there's a back door." He turned the corner of the mansion side and looked around. Straight ahead he found his way. "Windows!" He exclaimed.

He ran up to the two windows about ten feet apart from each other. "Can't break in. Though Grunkle Stan might be proud enough to just pay for the window if I did." He thought out loud. "But then they'd hate me even more... could make it look like an accident... blame it on one of the peacocks..."

"Or you could just ask me to unlock one for you, nerd." A familiar voice said.

Dipper turned to his left to see Pacifica leaning on the windowsill of the second window. "Pacifica!" Dipper called. He rushed over to the window. "I thought I was actually going to have to do something regrettable." He said. "Your parents sure weren't going to let me in." Pacifica had obviously donned a new dress for the party. A blue, glittering, form-fitting dress that continued down to her feet and topped out just above her chest. Matching heels, earrings, gloves, the works. Needless to say, he liked it. Dipper was almost too mesmerized to move.

"Yeah. Sorry about that. If I had told them my plan, they would have been watching for you, and you'd never get inside." She explained.

Pacifica offered him a hand and he took it eagerly. She helped hoist him up over the windowsill and pulled him inside with her. She lost her footing halfway through though, falling onto her back and slamming her head against the floor. She even pulled Dipper down with her, causing him to land on top of her. He braced his hands onto the floor to stop himself from crushing Pacifica under him. Pacifica opened her eyes slowly to see Dipper looking down at her. A blush came to both of their faces as they realized what was going on.

"What is this?!" A threatening voice boomed. The shock caused Dipper to panic and fall over off of Pacifica. Dipper slowly got to his feet, rubbing his arm where he had landed on it. Pacifica, looking very annoyed followed suit. In the room, glaring holes in them, was none other than Preston Northwest. Pacifica's father and the richest man in Gravity Falls. "Pacifica, to my side... now."

Dipper locked eyes with the man, while Pacifica looked away in defiance. "Hello Mr. Northwest. You remember me, right? Pacifica asked me to accompany her to this party." He said.

"Absolutely not!" He said immediately. "You are not welcome here! Now out!" He shouted pointing to the window. Dipper sent a glance over to Pacifica. Her fists were clenched harder than he'd ever seen.

"Come on. You're a reasonable man. I'm sure we can work out a deal. Just one night. This is what Pacifica wants." Dipper explained. "I know you're not that big a fan of me but-"

"I made a solemn oath to never let anyone named Pines set foot in my mansion ever again!" He raged. "Not you, or your primitive, bottom feeder, imbecilic, fashion blind, nutcase of a sister!" He yelled stomping his foot dramatically.

"Dad!" Pacifica screeched.

He calmly walked up to Dipper. It reminded him of when he came back to the mansion to confront him that night because once again, he leaned over and narrowed his eyes. "You Pines are a scourge on everything holy in this world." Preston continued. "You'll leave right now the same way you came in, and never look in my daughter's direction ever again. I have no interest in breaking my oath."

'Okay.' Dipper thought internally throwing up his hands. 'I've tried the peaceful way with both of them now, but that was a lot of insults he just threw at Mabel. And since she's not here to defend herself, I guess I have to.'

"Don't want to break your oath, huh?" He took a look around the room quick. "Well I'm here, so I guess you already did." Dipper said cockily. "I mean, you let me in your home," He continued smiling. "even with all this mud on my shoes." He lifted his foot up to show Preston the muddy bottom of his shoe. "It'd be a shame if..." Dipper planted his foot back into the carpet and smeared his foot across it. "...that happened. Guess it can't be helped though, I am a Pines after all. Though it shouldn't hurt too much, after all this mansion only looks to be seventy-five percent as big as your last one. The one that McGucket auctioned off to that orphanage."

Dipper could see Preston getting more and more enraged. "Does it hurt? Knowing all those happy kids have a nicer house than you? You're living in the boonies compared to them." Dipper snarked. "After all that you worked for. Or I guess, didn't work for."

"You little-" Preston sent his hand forward in an attempt to grab the boy. Pacifica moved in between the two and spread out her wingspan, effectively separating the two.

"You." She said looking to Dipper. "He may have had it coming, and although I find your witty remarks weirdly endearing, don't stoop to his level. You're better than that." She scolded.

"I am?" Dipper asked.

"And you." Pacifica said turning her attention to her irate father. "I asked Dipper to be here for this party. He is my escort for the night. Whether he's my escort here at this party, or we both go catch a movie instead is up to you."

"Pacifica, you're a Northwest. The successor to the Northwest name! There are boys here who have futures! I cannot allow you to destroy your image and mine in front of the rulers of tomorrow!" Preston argued. "There are plenty of other boys-"

"I don't want another one of your matchmaking failures! The last one you set me up with turned out to be an anti-Semite! I asked Dipper and it's going to be him! Now are you going to let us both in? Or do you want these rich heirs to think you couldn't even sire a child?" She asked. She and her father remained locked in each other's eyes for a moment. Preston frowned, and straightened back up.

"Very well." He said stepping aside. "He can be you escort for the night. But only tonight. Then my vow will be renewed with twice as much passion. But for now, I will be civil."

"Well, don't go too hard on yourself. Trying something for the first time is always hard." Dipper said cheekily as Pacifica dragged him past her father. He waved as Pacifica pulled him out of Preston's view. As soon as they were out of sight, she let go of his arm.

"Pacifica, that was amazing!" He said falling into step next to her. "I had no idea you could disarm him like that! I mean, I thought my quips were good, but you got him to back down! You're full of surprises, aren't you?"

She looked over to Dipper with a smile. "Don't you forget it. And... thanks for staying, even after dealing with him. Most guys would've just left."

"Most guys don't know what their missing." Dipper replied instinctively. "I'd much rather be here with you than go back home alone. Dad or not." He said honestly.

"I'm glad, but you have all night to change your mind. He may try to humiliate you publicly in front of everyone. He loves doing that to people he hates." She warned. The two walked through the fancy red and gold carpeted hallways and into the main hall where all the other honored guests have arrived.

"You think he could do any worse than Mabel? I've shared a classroom with her for twelve years. Think about that, and tell me why I should be afraid of your dad." Dipper said confidently. "I guess she's been training me for this moment."

"She really is the alpha twin then." Pacifica joked. "Tell you what, if you can manage to use that training to top Dad, I'll buy you lunch." She offered. "Deal?"

"You're loaded." Dipper shot back. "Why, in a world where I'm having lunch with you, would I ever pay?" He looked her straight in the eye. "After all you are cheating at life, might as well take advantage of it."

"Call me a cheater again, I dare you!" Pacifica playfully punched him in the upper arm. "I'll sue you for slander and make you my slave!" She hit him again. Dipper gently pushed back and the began laughing through their play fight.

"I can't believe you're still so interested in suing everyone." Dipper laughed. "And here I thought you had matured over the years." He jabbed.

Across the room a young man took notice of their interaction and raised an eyebrow. He set hit plate down onto the table next to him and narrowed his eyes. "What do we have here?" He asked himself. He slowly approached the two roughhouses. "Hey! Pacifica!" He called. "I haven't seen you in years!" He waved. "You remember me, right?"

Pacifica immediately stopped laughing and her eyes went dark. She let out an exasperated sigh as he drew nearer and nearer. Dipper quickly took notice of this and stopped the jolliness too. "What's wrong? You okay, Paz?"

"Paz?" The boy said taking his last step. He looked over Dipper. "That's adorable. What are you, cousins?" He asked slyly. "You must be. I've never seen her so comfortable around a boy before." He said thoughtfully.

"We're not cousins." Pacifica said coldly. "This is Dipper Pines. He's my escort for the evening." She quickly grabbed Dipper's arm for effect. "And we were comfortable, before you got here." She spat.

"Nice to meet you." Dipper said offering his other hand.

The boy smiled widely and shook it vigorously. "A pleasure." He beamed. "My name is Antoine. My parents own an oil company outside the Falls." He explained handing over a business card. "You said your name was Pines? Where have I heard that name before?" He asked. His eyes lit up and he snapped his fingers at Dipper. "That bum shack! It's owned by a Stanford Pines, is it not?"

"Stanley Pines, actually." Dipper said quickly. "It's a long story. Anyway, yeah. I guess you could say that's my family's legacy. Our greatest achievement." He said pridefully. 'The greatest one we're allowed to talk about anyway.'

Antoine burst out laughing. "Your greatest legacy? A shack? You amuse me Dipper! Is this why you chose him? His situation is amusing to you isn't it?" Antoine asked turning to Pacifica. "I get it now."

"Hey!" Dipper responded. "I happen to like my 'situation'. I got a good family, good friends... and I'm here as an escort to the Pacifica Northwest. Can you really say you're better off than that?" He prodded.

"You do not wish for more money?" Antoine asked leaning forward. His eyes dug deep into Dipper's.

"Not really."

"More power?" Antoine asked.

"Nope."

"More Influence?"

"Over who?"

Antoine raised an eyebrow. "Where did you find this one? He's got no vision. What does he hope to even accomplish in life? I've never met an heir so clueless." He said.

"Dipper's not an heir!" Pacifica snapped. "He's just...Dipper. And that's why I like him! Why do you always have to be so condescending? Always jumping to conclusions about people you just met!"

"I'm sensing you guys have some sort of history." Dipper said switching his gaze between the two. "Don't tell me..."

"It was two dates a year ago, and I hated both of them. He's a textbook privileged rich boy. I should know, I was a textbook privileged rich girl for over a decade." Pacifica spoke up, crossing her arms.

"You must be very intelligent for Pacifica to put up with you despite your many, many faults. Tell me Dipper, what high school do you go to?" Antoine asked.

"I don't actually." Dipper responded.

"Oh?" The rich boy chuckled. "A high school dropout thinks he's worthy to pursue a Northwest? What nonsense. Truly you are an enigma."

"Actually, I graduated." Dipper admitted bashfully. All four eyes drifted over to him. "The school counselor said I was the most perceptive student she'd ever met. I start college next fall."

"You skipped two grades?" Pacifica said in shock. "Why didn't you bring that up before?" She asked. "I could have used that as leverage against Dad!"

"Yeah, because the first thing a guy is supposed to do when reconnecting with a pretty girl is to immediately brag about how impressive he is. Women love that, don't they?" Dipper responded sarcastically.

Antoine narrowed his eyes at the two's bickering. It seemed to him she wasn't the least bit put off by this boy. "Dipper, would you mind getting us some drinks?" Antoine interrupted. "All this catching up is making me rather parched." He smiled sweetly.

"I don't know... Pacifica said I had to stay by her side all night..." Dipper said carefully. After all, his job here was to fight off fancy-pants rich boys who were pining over her. He assumed that meant Antoine, too.

"It's fine Dipper, I'm getting thirsty, too." Pacifica cut in. "I'll be fine for five minutes on my own. A caramel latte for me, fruit punch for Antoine, and you can help yourself to whatever."

Dipper shrugged. "I'm here to serve, I guess." He said. "I'll be right back." Antoine watched the boy waywardly walk through the hall looking for the drink station and smirked.

"So, what's the angle?" Antoine asked.

"Antoine... there's no angle." Pacifica said firmly stomping her foot. "I. Like. Dipper."

"Oh, come on. I've known you for nearly ten years now. I know we don't speak too often, but I do know you don't go for the lower class. Is he blackmailing you?"

"What? No!"

"Does he have some valuable you're after? Or maybe some land his family might own?"

"Antoine, I'm warning you..." Pacifica narrowed her eyes.

"Not that either, huh? Then the only logical explanation is... you're toying with him. Get him mesmerized, then dump him. Make an example out of him for any more wannabes who think they have a shot."

"Shut up!" Pacifica immediately reached out and smacked him across the cheek. Not really that hard, he was still a guest after all, but he obviously wasn't responding to the verbal approach.

"So, let me get this straight..." Antoine said rubbing his cheek. "You're the daughter of Preston Northwest, descendant of the founder of Gravity Falls, you're in a mansion full of the most powerful young men from the pacific northwest and you choose a penniless, uncultured, nerdy boy with no impressive inheritance to speak of as your escort?"

"Yes!" Pacifica said angrily. "How many times do I have to explain this?! It's not rocket science!"

"I had heard you were going through a rebel phase, but this is impressive. This is beyond rebelling; this is full anarchism." He spoke. "You're throwing your life of luxury away for a nerd."

"You're right. Dipper's a nerd. He isn't rich and he doesn't want to be." Pacifica explained. She got visibly angrier when she caught him giggling at that last part, though she should have expected it. "And I'm seeing more and more value in that every day. He's shown me things you could never comprehend."

"You think this highly of a mere commoner?" Antoine said baffled. "What happened to the queen bee? The beautiful princess who couldn't stand commoners."

"Those dates we went on a year ago... they don't mean anything. My dad was watching us every second. It was an act. That Pacifica doesn't exist. Not anymore at least. She hasn't since I was twelve." She explained. "And I'm not proud of my old self either."

"Twelve? That long..." Antoine paused. "What happened to you?"

"I don't think you're worth the time it would take to tell that story." She turned around swiftly, her hair hitting him in the face. "I'm going to find Dipper. If you really want a drink, I suggest you get it yourself. And leave us alone for the rest of the night."

As Pacifica wandered the hall looking for Dipper, she came past rich boy after rich boy all with their eyes on her. "I wish they would get their eyes off of me." She mumbled.

Dipper, meanwhile had run into a problem of his own. He had found the beverages table right between the two wine fountains, but Priscilla was there too. She had already forbidden him from taking anything, even with the intent on delivering it to Pacifica. "Look Mrs. Northwest, I promise, I'm only here to help Pacifica. There's no ulterior motive. I'm sure if we can just get to know each other-"

"Trouble always follows you Pines. Every odd thing that's ever happened to my perfect family, you and your sister have been at the center of it." She accused. "My family was picture perfect until you came into town. Then monsters began coming from all around, and you turned my precious princess into a disobedient delinquent."

It took all of his willpower not to go off on this walking testament to plastic surgery. In all honesty he hated playing nice with Pacifica's parents, and in the right situation, he'd call them on their bullshit. But that time wasn't now. If he made a scene in front of all these pretty boys, he'd only prove their point of him being lower than them. "Well actually, funny story. The weirdness has always been attracted to Gravity Falls, not us. We just kind of... exposed it." Dipper explained. "And I promise I have no idea what you mean when you call Pacifica a delinquent." He continued. "In fact, she's spent most of the time we've been here so far chatting with that Antoine dude." Not a complete lie.

"As she should. But any time spent even in your presence is damaging her future. If you really want to help her, you should leave immediately. You're ruining the plan."

"Man, you and your husband have really one-track minds, don't you?" Dipper quipped. His eyes widened. "Wait... what do you mean 'plan'?"

"It's none of your concern." Priscilla took a step back realizing her mistake. "I have other things to attend to." She turned around quickly hoping to get away before any more questions could be asked.

"I know it's been a few years," Dipper said stopping her in her tracks. "So just as a reminder. I'm a detective. You might as well tell me, because if you don't, I'll just figure it out myself."

Priscilla reluctantly turned around to face the young man. "I suppose you'd know before midnight anyway." She admitted. "Every young man here is a son of a rich couple. All of them will inherit their family's fortune and companies at age eighteen. They're all handsome, smart, successful, and most importantly, obedient young men."

"You brought them here hoping to retrain Pacifica into being your lapdog again. Using hot guys since bells don't work anymore." Dipper realized.

"Some detective, you're only half-right. Due to our decreased finances after... that incident... we've done the best we can to regain our monetary status but we're still far from what we should be."

"Well that's what you get for being dumb enough to make a deal with an inter-dimensional dream demon. Did you think he'd really just let you in his group that easy? Honestly with those kinds of business decisions, it's a wonder you hadn't gone bankrupt years before."

Priscilla's eye twitched for a moment. She took the water she had confiscated from him and splashed the full glass onto his person. Dipper let out a couple of coughs and shook his hair out like a dog coming in from the rain. "I suppose I was asking for that." He deadpanned.

Priscilla quickly regained her composure. "The quickest and most efficient way to regain what we lost is through a union." Priscilla said looking down at the drenched boy. "One that you won't have any part of."

"They're not just here to retrain her..." Dipper realized. "You're marrying her off to ensure your future wealth." Dipper said. "She's only sixteen!"

"And as long as we have the ceremony here in Gravity Falls, it's legal. We just need consent from the legal guardians of the parties involved." She informed him. "If you still intend on staying here, I suggest you savor it, because after tonight, Pacifica will be engaged."

"Does she not get a say in this?" Dipper asked. "She should get to choose who she marries. Otherwise it's a matrimony heading straight for a divorce."

"In which case, we'll still take a good chunk of their money and still be back in an ideal state." She added. "We've put a lot of thought into this."

"Not enough." Another voice cut in. Pacifica calmly walked to Dipper's side and handed him a towel. "I grabbed you one of these from the bathroom." She said before turning to her mother. "I'm not agreeing to any marriage. I'm not some trophy to be given away to some rich boy. If they want my hand, they can try to earn it." She said seriously. "And as of right now there's only one boy I'd even consider. Him." She said tilting her head towards Dipper who was rubbing his hair vigorously with the towel Pacifica brought him.

He lifted the towel of his eyes. "Really? You'd consider-"

"Don't get a big head, nerd." Pacifica cut him off quickly by slamming her hand over his mouth. "Your competition here is pathetic and you've still got a long way to go." She turned back to her mother. "If you want to marry me off at sixteen, I still need to be a willing party. You can't arrange a marriage." She told her.

"But think of the possibilities!" Priscilla countered. "We'd be in the one percent again! You could buy your ponies back!" Pacifica shook her head at her mother. "At least tell me why you insist on it being him!" She said pointing an accusatory finger at Dipper.

Pacifica looked to Dipper and then back at her mother. She lowered her head sadly. "Mom do you remember the night me and Dipper partied together after we got rid of the lumberjack ghost?" Pacifica asked.

"I'd rather not, but yes." She admitted.

"And later at the twelfth annual Northwest Family Magazine photoshoot? When I showed up covered in garbage." She added.

"Yes. Sadly, I remember that, too."

"And what about yesterday when we were going through the preparations for the party?"

"Of course."

"Can you tell me what was different between the Pacifica from yesterday and the Pacifica from the other two occasions?" She finished. She looked up to her mother expectantly.

"Of course. In the former two incidents, you were acting like an animal." Priscilla concluded. "It's like you somehow devolved into something lesser than your true self."

"Wrong answer. And that's why you can't understand why it has to be Dipper." Pacifica said coldly shaking her head. She turned around slowly and fast walked away. "I'm done here!" She called behind her.

Priscilla opened her mouth to say something but was cut off. "Paz! Wait up!" Dipper called rushing after her. He quickly threw the towel he was holding at Mrs. Northwest's face. She growled and yanked it away but as soon as her vision returned, she was alone.

Pacifica had retreated to a balcony located right outside the backside of the main hall all the guests were currently occupying. She was looking up at the moon sadly, golden hair flowing in the wind as she leaned against the railing. Dipper slowly opened the door to the balcony from inside and approached her calmly. "Hey." He said softly.

"Hey." She said softly, not looking back at him. "Sorry, I didn't mean to leave you behind, I just... needed to get out of there." She explained. "Marriage." She scoffed. "Of course, this wasn't a normal party. I should've guessed as soon as I saw Antoine."

"Don't worry about it." He said leaning against the railing next to her. "If my parents had ever done something like this, I'd be livid. But here you are handling it like a champ. It's amazing how strong willed you are."

"Desensitization, I guess." She responded. "It's been this way for as long as I can remember."

"I understand if you're not in the mood to talk, but do you mind if I ask you something?" Dipper asked carefully. "If not, I totally understand I just-"

"Idiot." She said wistfully. "I'm always in the mood to talk to you. What do you want to know?"

"That last question you asked your mom, the one about the difference between you yesterday and you after the lumberjack ghost or whatever, what exactly did you mean?" Dipper asked.

"You're supposed to be the smart one, you figure it out." She joked. "Come on, nerd. Let's see you use that brain of yours."

"I wish I could." Dipper admitted. "But I wasn't even here yesterday. I don't know what happened. What happened yesterday?"

"Nothing. It was all the usual stuff. That's the difference. It was just a boring, uneventful... lonely day. But the party after the ghost was set to rest, and that photoshoot... those were moments of true happiness. Happiness brought on by you. She's my mother. She saw me on all three days. She should've been able to tell the difference. But she can't. And if she can't, dad definitely can't."

She threw some loose change from her pockets off the side in anger. Fifty cents total flew off into the distance, descending down into the garden below. Sleeping in the grass was a small black furry creature. The two coins hit its forehead and its red eyes shot open.

Up on the balcony, a single tear shed from Pacifica's eye. "I... I'm sorry." Dipper apologized.

"Sorry for what? You're the good part of this situation." Pacifica explained.

"But I did leave you alone with them for nearly four years." Dipper said. "If I could get another paradox-free time wish, I'd never do that again. But I can't. I can't imagine 1,460 days straight with no friends."

"Did you just multiply three-hundred and sixty-five by four in your head instantaneously? You are such a nerd."

They both shared a short laugh before returning to the reality of their situation. "I should have done better to keep in contact. Mabel told me to, but I felt it would be too awkward. I realized my mistake when you reached out to me earlier last month. But I didn't know how bad it actually was. I can't undo what I did. But I can promise to never do it again." Dipper said. "It's clear your parents aren't going to change. And the company they keep doesn't seem to help either. I hadn't told anyone but Mabel this yet, but when I turn eighteen, I'm moving here. To Gravity Falls."

"You are?"

"It's only natural. I learned so much and did so much maturing over that one summer, that in a way, I grew up here." He said happily. "And when that day comes, you'll never be alone again. If you're parents still haven't cleaned up their act by then, I'd be happy to have you. Assuming you're up for staying here with a nerd like me." He turned to her giving her his best smile.

"I'd like that." She smiled back.

"And even before then, when I go back to my hometown. I'll video call you every day." He promised. "I know it's not as great as meeting up in person, but you won't be alone anymore. Mabel will be happy to join our calls, too."

"But do me a favor, don't tell them about this. If they do clean up their act, I want it to be because they care, not because they want to keep me here longer." Pacifica said. "You really never fail to cheer me up." She looked to Dipper. "Do you remember when we were chasing after Mabel's face, and you told me I was more than just a pretty face?" Dipper nodded. "I think that's the moment I knew..."

"Knew what?" Dipper asked. She placed her hand gently on top of his and leaned forward. Dipper got the idea and closed his eyes, leaning in too.

Just as they were centimetres apart from each other a strong gust of kicked up around them, startling out of their moment. A streak of pitch-black shot from below the balcony up to above their heads and then rocketed down onto the balcony behind them. The streak quickly morphed into a quadruped mammal-like creature with black fur and blood red eyes.

"What is that?" Pacifica asked.

"Look away!" Dipper ordered. He pulled out his cellphone and pulled up his camera. As the creature's eyes started glowing red Dipper began taking pictures of it, making sure flash was set to the highest settings. The strobes seemed to immobilize it temporarily and it turned around and scurried into the main hall.

"What was that?!" Pacifica reiterated. "I've never seen that animal before!"

"I hope I'm wrong, but that doesn't happen too often." Dipper said. "I read a report from Grunkle Ford's study about a creature matching that description. Small, black, red eyes, and an inherent fear of flashing lights. They're called fear demons. Don't let the spheres it fires off hit you." Dipper advised.

"Or what?"

"It'll read your mind and trap you in an illusion of your greatest fear." Dipper said seriously. "Other than flashing lights I don't know of any weaknesses, so get your phone ready." Pacifica nodded and pulled out her top-of-the-line phone and held it out in front of her. The two slowly entered the hall to find the party in ruins most of the guests were already enveloped in black spheres suspended in the air. You could just vaguely make their silhouettes out through the spheres. The creature was nowhere to be found.

"Are they going to be okay?" Pacifica asked worriedly. She looked to the nearest sphere and found the familiar form of Antoine inside.

"If we can somehow calm the creature down, it should release everyone. Ford's notes said these creatures aren't malicious in nature, they're just scared easily."

"Pacifica!" Both of them looked down to see Mr. Northwest glaring at them from under a floorboard he was holding above his head. "Come! Now! Before that cursed thing comes back!"

"You built another safe room and didn't tell me?!" Pacifica raged. "Don't you think that's info I could use?!"

"Calm down, Paz. If we retreat, we can come back with an actual attack plan." Dipper said putting a hand on her shoulder. "It's our best bet to save everyone."

"Not you." Preston said pointing at Dipper. "You promised no monsters!" He accused. "You'll stay out here and get rid of it, while we isolate!"

"Dad! I'm not going to leave Dipper behind!" Pacifica shouted back. "Either we both go, or neither of us!" Peeking its head out from the other side of Antoine's nightmare trap, the creature started flinching at the loud noises. It crept slowly towards the group of survivors.

"Go ahead, Paz." Dipper interjected. "I can handle this thing myself. I'd feel better if you were somewhere safe anyway."

"But-" She noticed that right behind the boy, the creature was approaching with caution. Without warning its eyes began glowing and the fur on its back stood up straight. From its eyes a black aura gathered together. Pacifica grabbed Dipper by the shoulders and threw him over the hatch her father was holding up. Another black sphere shot forward at a high speed and quickly enveloped Pacifica completely.

Dipper bounced back instantly and stared at the captive girl. "Paz!" He called. From the blackness an outline of Pacifica's body slowly faded into vision. "No!"

"Well, what are you waiting for pines?! Get her out of there!" Priscilla ordered.

"I don't know how! Ford's notes didn't say anything about how to disable the spheres, only how to scare off the demon!" Dipper panicked. "If I touch it, I might get sucked in, too!"

"Useless!" Preston boomed.

XXXXX

"Mrs. Northwest!" Pacifica's eyes shot open and she found herself in an unfamiliar place. She was at the head of a long table. All the way down the table sat dapper looking older men all looking back at her. "Ma'am, are you okay?" The one right to her left asked.

"Where am I?" Pacifica asked looking around the room. Her eyes landed on the freshly cleaned window and she gasped at what she saw in her reflection. She was... older. Like, twenty years older. Her hair had been cut off right beneath her shoulders, she could see the beginning of several wrinkles, and she was covered in top end makeup. The dress she was wearing was so covered in diamonds, she could stand in for a disco ball if she needed to. "What's going on here?!" She demanded.

"Mrs. Northwest, we were just going over your plans to build your new mansion. We just need the go ahead to start clearing the way." The man handed her a piece of paper.

"Wait a minute, you can't build a mansion here. This is the Mystery Shack!" She said turning the paper back at them. "Not to mention all those acres of timber the wildlife call home! If we tear it all down, they'll fall prey to the elements!"

"But this whole project was your idea." Another man responded. "We've come too far to quit now. After all the work it took to drive those Pines twins out of town, there's no going back."

"Dipper? And Mabel?" Pacifica asked frowning. "What did you do?"

"You said 'any means necessary'. We got the two banished from Gravity Falls permanently. I'm actually quite proud of our cunning." The furthest from her said. "They won't stand in your way again."

"No!" Pacifica snapped slamming her hands against the table. "Get them back! Whatever you did, undo it!"

"They've been exiled. There's no coming back from that." The man holding the schematics said. "Besides, you haven't been friends with the two of them since you dumped the boy."

"No." She shook her head. "I wouldn't."

The doors to the room flew open and two more people walked in. A man that looked to be Pacifica's age, in one of the nicest suits she'd ever seen, and a girl of around the age of ten. She had long blonde hair and wore a beautiful red dress. She looked up at Pacifica and she felt like she was looking into a window to the past.

"Sorry to interrupt, but Ruby needs to speak with you." The man said. He leaned forward and kissed her on the cheek. Pacifica's hand immediately reached out and smacked him across the cheek. "Don't... do that again." She growled.

"Dear, what's wrong?" The man asked. "Is a husband not allowed to kiss his wonderful wife anymore?" He asked.

'Husband?'

"She's been acting weirdly, sir." One of the men said. "Perhaps she should get some rest." He suggested. "She seems to have forgotten quite a bit."

"Surely that can wait." The husband said. He grabbed the little girl by the wrist and forcefully dragged her closer to Pacifica. "Tell your mother what you did." He said seriously.

'Mother?' Pacifica thought to herself. 'She does look a lot like me.'

"Please Mom, I didn't mean anything I swear, I just... this high-class stuff is so time-consuming. I just wanted to go to the arcade and spend some time like a normal kid." She looked up at her mom. "Please don't punish me, I won't do it again, I swear." Pacifica saw the real fear and sadness in her eyes, and her heart immediately pained.

One of the other men approached her with a closed case. As soon as she took notice, he opened it up for her and pushed it further towards her. "Your bells, madame." He offered. Indeed, inside were two fancy bells.

'No. No. No!' Somehow, she couldn't stop herself from grabbing one of them out of the case. 'What am I doing?' She pulled the bell to her and examined it. 'If this really is my daughter... I would never...' She held the bell out in front of her.

"Please, mommy, I swear, I'll do everything you say.' The little girl promised as her eyes started watering. "Don't use the bell." She pleaded.

Pacifica could feel the urge to ring the bell flare up inside her. She had no idea where it was coming from, but it was strong. She could feel her resistance chipping away. In front of her she watched as Ruby's face contorted, mentally preparing herself for the ring.

"No!" She shouted throwing the bell onto the floor. She stomped the instrument several times with her soles. She lifted her foot up slowly, revealing the bell in pieces. Ruby rushed forward and hugged her mom's side. "I'm not them." She breathed. "Cancel the entire operation!" Pacifica ordered, looking to the board of men. "I don't care if you sacrificed your mother to get this far, this project is discontinued!" She ordered.

"And you." She said turning to the butler holding the case containing the other bell. "I want you to take that bell and every other bell in this mansion and smash them all! Then I want you to take my money," She said handing over thousands of dollars from her wallet. "and go to the closest grocery store and buy out every sweet they have in stock!" He nodded shakily and walked away.

She knelt down next to her apparent daughter. "I'm so sorry. Using a bell to train you like a dog... that's not gonna happen anymore. My parents used that trick on me, too. But just because they did it to me, doesn't me I have to do it to you." She ran her hand through Ruby's hair. "I want you to invite as many kids as you want over." She smiled. "From tonight on, you're not just a Northwest. You're a normal kid, too." Ruby enveloped Pacifica in a hug.

"Thank you. I love you, mom."

XXXXX

Dipper was in the middle of examining the sphere from behind a table with some equipment he snuck in. He wasn't really getting anywhere though. "It's some kind of combination between the weirdness that inhabits Gravity Falls, and a copy of its own molecular structure." He said to himself. "But how do I break it?" He watched the silhouette of Pacifica bob up and down inside the sphere. Then all of the sudden a cracking sound was made and a fracture traveled from one side of the shape to the other.

"It's breaking?" Dipper observed. From inside the sphere a bright light broke out through the cracks in the shell. Seconds later, the entire sphere was engulfed in the same light, and when the light cleared Pacifica was on the ground, breathing heavily.

"Paz!" Dipper exclaimed happily rushing forward. Pacifica pushed herself up off the ground. She stumbled to her feet groggily. Dipper wrapped his arms around her body tightly. "You're back!" He cheered.

"Dipper, is that you?" Pacifica asked, eyes fluttering open to the welcomed sight of his smile. "What-" She was cut off when Dipper pressed his lips against here forcefully. She was a little shocked at first but eventually just decided to enjoy the moment. She wrapped her arm around his neck before they parted.

"You... you kissed me." Pacifica said blown away.

"I didn't mean anything by it!" He said throwing up his hands in defense. "It's just, you scared me." Dipper said. "I didn't know if you were ever going to get out of there. I don't know if I could've lived with myself."

"That's how you reward someone for scaring you?" She joked. It wasn't the fairytale kiss her parents had groomed her to believe in, considering they were still surrounded by countless people trapped in nightmares, but it was Dipper, which is better than what her parents had told her about.

"How did you get out?" Dipper asked.

"I faced my fear." Pacifica said. "As soon as I realized that being a Northwest doesn't mean I'm doomed to being a terrible person and righted my wrongs, everything stopped." She explained.

"Do you know what this means?" Dipper asked. "You've conquered your greatest fear! The creature can't affect you anymore! You can stop this madness!" Pacifica nodded and looked back at the fear demon who was watching the two closely.

She took a step forward and took notice of how the fear demon jumped back and fired another sphere at her. She knelt down gently and offered a hand. "It's okay. Don't be scared." She soothed. "I'm not going to hurt you."

The creature tilted its head slightly before taking a single step forward. "That's it. See... there's nothing to fear." She said. The creature closed the gap between them and rubbed up against her hand. As she ran her hand through his fur she smiled. "Aww. You're actually a softie, aren't you?" The demons fidgeting came to a halt and it curled back up onto the ground.

"It's working." Dipper said in a low voice. All around them the spheres were descending back to the ground, phasing through the floor and leaving the bodies of the victims behind. He pulled out his phone and held down the two key. He pulled the phone to his ear and waited patiently. "Grunkle Ford? We're going to need one of the mind erasers you have stored away. A bunch of rich boy, out-of -towners caught a glimpse of a fear demon." He looked over to Pacifica who was now petting the little troublemaker as it sat in her lap. "Yes. Everyone's fine. Pacifica actually managed to calm it... I will. Thanks, Grunkle Ford."

Dipper put his phone away and walked up to Pacifica. "Grunkle Ford is on his way. He'll wipe everyone here's memories. Except me, you, and your parents." Dipper explained. "How's the fear demon?"

"It kind of looks like a kitten, when it's like this." Pacifica said. "What do we do with it, now?"

"We let it go. It came from your garden. We set it back there and leave it to its devices." Dipper explained. Suddenly, the little creature jumped out of Pacifica's lap and ran across the room. It ran through the door to the balcony, before coming to a halt. It turned around and gave once last look to Dipper and Pacifica before jumping over the railing and disappearing into the night. "...or it could just leave." Dipper deadpanned. "Ford's notes did say that they were nomadic."

Pacifica got to her feet slowly. "I guess my parents never would've allowed me to keep it anyway." She pouted. "Where are they?"

"In the panic room. As soon as you were captured, he called me useless, then he and your mom took the staff back to the panic room." Dipper explained.

"They left me out here?" She asked, smile turning into a deep frown. It was clear to Dipper, that despite all the opposing evidence, she would've expected her parents to stay and at least try to save her.

"Sorry, Paz." He said placing a hand on her shoulder. "I wish I could say differently, but that's what happened." He said. "They may have left you... but, y'know, I didn't." He rubbed his arm nervously.

"No... you didn't." Pacifica smiled. "And it's nice to be cared about for once. "

"Well if it's being cared for you want, I know a shack full of people who'd be happy to see you." Dipper said. "Mabel especially." He offered.

"I accept your offer. Speaking of which, I have to say this date went way better than I thought it would." She said. "You're not nearly as bad at this formal stuff as most commoners would be. No offense."

"None taken." Dipper replied. He swallowed hard. "So, if the date went nice, then does that me you'll let me be-"

"Yep." Pacifica said immediately. "From this point forward, you, Dipper Pines, will be my personal butler." She said putting her hands on her hips.

"Butler!?"

"That's right. You should feel honored." She quipped walking past him. "And as an added bonus you have until the time it takes us to get to the Mystery Shack on our bikes, to convince me to upgrade you to 'official boyfriend'.

"Are you serious? I thought the party was the test to see if I was boyfriend material!" Dipper said running back up to her as she exited the room.

"And because of the monster, the party ended prematurely. Inconclusive." She snarked at him.

"And what about your parents?" Dipper asked.

"What about them?" Pacifica asked back. "Eventually, they'll figure out the dangerous parts over and they'll come crawling out, but until then, who cares?"

"I was hoping you'd say that." Dipper smiled.

"Time's running out." Pacifica said pointing to an invisible watch. "I'd start your opening statements now. You're going to need every second." As Dipper laughed and started talking, she turned to him. 'Pacifica, you idiot. You fell in love with a nerd.'