Chapter 38: The Baby
Leia sat on the edge of the bed. She looked at the small baby wrapped in a grey blanket in her mother's arms. It was . . . pink . . . and small . . . and weird looking. It did not look like how she thought a baby would look like. Mother looked down at the baby with a big smile. Her face was all red and sweaty. Leia hadn't been in the room when Mother had given birth, but she was right outside. She had heard Mother screaming. Had felt Mother's pain. She was relieved to see Mother and little Parvané were both fine.
When they had gotten to this planet, Mother explained they had to get off the ship and find a doctor at once. It was a normal looking planet. Green grass and trees. It made Leia think of her old home. Of Alderaan. Of her mama and papa. But that brought up bad thoughts. Bad memories. So Leia buried them deep away again and focused on Mother and her new baby sister.
Varné was asleep. One hand curled around the top of the blanket she was wrapped in. The hand and fingers were so tiny. Leia leaned over very carefully and gently touched the hand. The baby didn't flinch or wake up. Mother smiled at Leia.
"Tiny," Leia whispered.
"Yes," Mother whispered back, "they are."
Mother leaned over and gently kissed the baby on the forehead. She looked tired, and despite the smile on her face, there was a sadness in her eyes.
"Can I hold her?" Leia asked.
"When she wakes up," Mother replied.
Leia snuggled against her mother. The three of them laid in the medical bed. Leia dozed off. She was awoken by the whimpering of the baby. Mother was gently rocking Varné, but soon the baby was crying. Mother pulled down her medical robe and brought the baby up to her breast. Varné would start sucking, but soon would stop and start crying.
A nurse came in to check on them. Everyone who worked in the med center was a lady. They all wore grey dresses with grey sashes on their heads that hid their hair. Those who were nurses wore white aprons.
"She's not latching on," Mother said softly.
"We'll have to make an appointment in the morning," the nurse said softly as she brought over a bottle filled with white liquid.
Mother gave the baby the bottle, who greedily drank it.
"Come now," the nurse said to Leia. "Let's go back to your room to rest for the night."
Leia had been given a room next door to sleep in. She frowned as she looked at her mother. She didn't want to leave.
"It's ok, Leia," Mother said. "The baby doesn't sleep for long. She'll wake up constantly throughout the night to be fed or changed. You'll sleep better next door."
"Ok . . ." Leia said as she hugged Mother tightly. She leaned over and gave her sister a kiss on the forehead. Mother leaned over and kissed Leia on the head.
"Good night," Mother said.
"Good night," Leia said as she slipped off the bed.
"Leia," Mother said. Her tone light and warm. Leia paused. "I love you."
"I know," Leia said with a smile. She could tell Mother wasn't lying.
"Even if you know," Mother said, "it's always good to hear it."
Leia paused. "Then I love you too," she added. Mother smiled and nodded.
Leia followed the nurse to the room next door. It was identical to Mother's room, except none of the machines were on. It didn't smell like baby. It was quiet and a bit lonely. She missed Luke. She couldn't wait to see his face when he saw the baby. She crawled into the bed, closed her eyes, and thought of her brother. He had been very excited to be a big brother. He always said the best thing about leaving his old home was finding out he had a sister.
She thought of his smile and his blue eyes. The best thing about this new life was her brother, she agreed. She hoped her new sister would grow up to be a good sister. Leia couldn't wait until the baby was old enough to play with. Mother said it would be a while until the baby could actually do anything. It wouldn't even be able to sit up for a long time. Babies were so weird.
She felt something cool slide against her mind. She quieted her thoughts and stilled her body.
Father? she called out into her mind.
Leia, came Father's reply.
Father! Leia cried out. The baby is here!
Leia could sense her father's surprise. The baby was born? he asked.
Yes. And it's so tiny! And small! And kind of yucky and smelly.
There was a gentle laugh from Father. Is your mother and the baby . . . Are they ok? Are they fine? Is anything wrong?
No, except the baby won't suck milk out of Mother's boobie, Leia said. So they have to give her a bottle.
Relief. Father was relieved.
Father, she asked, are you going to come again? Are we going to go home now?
Yes, Leia, Father replied. I am on my way as we speak.
Good. When will you get here? I can't wait for Luke to see the baby!
It will be a few more hours. Is it day or night there?
Night. I'm supposed to be sleeping.
Another soft chuckle from Father. Then I will be there in the morning.
And we can all go home?
Yes, you can all go home. But Leia, Father added.
Yes?
Make sure you don't tell your mother I'm coming.
I won't. I didn't tell her last time either!
I know.
But why? Why did Mother run away?
She has a rather silly idea in her head that bad things are going to happen.
Like . . . with the bomb? Leia asked.
Yes. She's worried about the baby. She's worried about you and Luke too.
It would be better if we were with you, she said.
Yes, it would be better. Now go to sleep. I'll see you when you wake up.
She felt her father slip away. The cold went with him. And Leia was all alone. She knew her mother and the baby were just next door. Just on the other side of the wall, but still she felt alone. She wished Luke was here. She could crawl into his bed and they could sleep together. Then she wouldn't feel so empty or cold or alone.
Tears stung her eyes. A few escaped and rolled down her cheek. She pulled her covers up over her head and curled tightly into a ball. This should all be over tomorrow. Father would be here and they could all go home. They would all be together again.
X-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-xxxxx-x-x-x-x-
Leia woke up with one of the nurses shaking her. Leia grumbled and pulled her blankets tighter. But the nurse pulled the blankets away. Leia moaned.
"Up now, little one," the nurse said.
"I'm not little," Leia mumbled as she rolled out of bed.
The nurse said nothing as she handed Leia some fresh clothes. They were gray like what the nurses wore, and it was itchy and coarse. Leia didn't like it. But once dressed, she bounced out into the hallway.
"Wait," the nurse called out. Leia paused and looked back. "Your mother and the baby just fell asleep. Let them rest a bit."
Leia frowned.
"Come now, we can go eat breakfast," the nurse said as she turned to go in the opposite direction of Mother's room. Leia looked at the closed door and turned to follow the nurse.
Breakfast wasn't that great, but Leia was hungry. She quickly ate her creamy oatmeal. It would taste better with honey or sugar or fresh fruit. Once done, Leia quickly ran away. The nurses called after her to clean up, but she ignored them. She rushed through the halls back to her mother's room. This time there was no nurse to stop her, but she opened the door slowly and as quietly as she could.
She peered around the door, but found the room empty. There was no Mother nor baby. Leia walked in and looked around. Then she checked the refresher. Still no Mother. She stopped a nurse walking by.
"Excuse me," Leia said. "I'm looking for my mother. Have you seen her?"
"Is she the one in that room?" the nurse asked. Leia nodded. "She went to see the doctor with the baby."
Leia sighed. That was right. Mother was going to see the doctor about the baby not drinking milk from Mother's boobie. That was such an odd thing to think about. Mother had laughed and said Leia and Luke had done the same thing when they were babies. Leia's face scrunched up. She couldn't imagine ever doing something like that.
Since she didn't know where the doctor was, she decided to go outside. It was nice to be out in the grass and trees again. She loved being outdoors. Father had said there was no grass in the place he was taking them. Mushtafall? She couldn't remember exactly. But Father also said it wouldn't be forever. Only while he found out who bombed their home and a new home was built. Then they could go back.
Leia kicked her shoes off and wiggled her toes in the grass. She sighed. It was such a nice feeling. But suddenly she remembered doing this same thing in another place a long time ago. Back on Alderaan. Back in her old home. With Papa and . . . and Mama . . .
Tears stung her eyes. She wiped them away with her arm. She was a big girl now. She was a big sister. She didn't cry over such stupid baby things. But the tears still pooled in her eyes. This time she didn't touch them. They rolled down her cheeks. She hunched over and curled into a ball. She stared intently at the green grass. She watched as her tears fall off her face and into the grass.
When was the last time she had cried about Mama? It had been a long time ago. She sniffled as her nose became runny. What would Mama think of the new baby? Leia could see her smiling and cradling the baby just like Mother did. Mama was a good mom. Even if she didn't give birth to Leia.
Leia?
She blinked.
Luke? she asked into the Force.
Leia! came her brother's voice. Leia! Why . . . why are you sad?
I was just thinking of my mama.
Ah, Luke said softly. He understood. No other words were needed. Sorry I'm not there.
Me too. She wished he was there. He would hug her and tell it was alright. He missed his aunt and uncle. He understood.
But we'll be together soon, Luke added quickly.
Leia wiped her face with his arm. He was right. She could feel him. She could feel Father. They were close. She looked up at the blue sky. She could see a large triangular ship coming closer. Leia jumped up. That was right! Father said he would be here in the morning!
"Luke!" she shouted in the Force and out loud. Luke laughed. I can't wait for you to meet the baby! She's so tiny and little and pink and red and smells funny!
I can't either, he replied.
Leia pulled her shoes on. She wanted to go run inside and find Mother and the baby. She wanted to be ready for when Father arrived, but then she stopped. No. No, she should wait here. Wait here for Father. They could go to Mother together. That would be for the best. Wouldn't it?
It took longer than Leia would have liked for the large ship to come down low. Fast little zippy fighter ships buzzed around. They made a horrible screeching noise. She was sure Luke would know the name of them. Then she watched as a different type of ship approached. She recognized it as the type of ship Father used. It landed in the yard not far from where Leia waited.
She watched the ramp lower. At first it was a bunch of stupid white troopers. Then the red guard came out wearing their bright red helmets and capes. And then there was Father. He stood out amongst the others wearing all black with a long cape that fluttered in the wind. The moment he stepped on to the ramp, his head turned towards Leia.
Leia smiled and jumped up and down. Father quickly made his way over to her. He had pushed past his guards and troops. He ran to her. The moment he was close, she ran the rest of the way. He knelt down and opened his arms. She jumped into them. He grabbed her tightly and she wrapped her arms around his neck. He kissed her face and head over and over again, making her laugh.
"Stop," she giggled as she pushed on him.
"I can't," he whispered into her hair. "I missed you so much. I'm so glad you're safe."
Finally he pulled away. His eyes were blue. She liked Father best when his eyes were blue. She leaned into him and hugged him.
"Where's Luke?" she asked.
"On the ship," he said.
"Can we go there now?"
"First let's get your mother," he said.
Leia smiled. "Ok!" She slipped out of his hold and grabbed his hand, his flesh hand, and pulled. "This way!" she shouted. She pulled him into the med center. She brought him to Mother's room. "In here!" she said.
But she stopped as soon as they entered. The room was still empty. Leia frowned. Father placed a hand on her shoulder. His lips were pulled downward. His eyes were yellow.
"She must still be with the doctor," Leia said in a soft voice. "She was there earlier."
Father looked down and smiled, but it wasn't reassuring. He bent over and picked her up. He placed her on the bed.
"Don't worry," he said. "I'll go find her. You wait here with the guards."
Then he was gone. Two red guards stepped into the room. They took position on either side of the door. They said nothing, as usual. Just stood there with their stupid spears. Leia plopped over on the bed. She buried her head into the pillow. It smelled like Mother and of Varné.
She dozed off. She woke up when her father gently pulled her into his arms. She rested her head against his shoulder. She felt a soft kiss against her forehead. She closed her eyes and drifted to sleep to the steady rhythm of his footsteps.
Images danced around in her head of Mother and Father and of Luke and Varné. Mama was there too smiling and laughing. All the people Leia loved. All together. All happy.
"Leia."
The dream faded away. She was sad to see it go.
"Leia, wake up."
She recognized that voice. It was her father.
"Leia?"
Her eyes snapped open at once hearing Luke's voice. The first thing she saw was the dull gray ceiling, but soon Luke's face filled up her vision.
"Luke!" she shouted as she wrapped her arms around his neck. She pulled him down. He laughed as he hugged her back. "I missed you!" she said.
Luke leaned back. "I missed you too," he said.
"How are you feeling?" she asked as she sat up.
She had been lying down on a couch in a sitting room. Father stood beside Luke. A small smile on his lips, but it didn't reach his blue eyes.
"I'm feeling good," Luke said.
Leia noticed he looked paler and thinner than he had been.
"Still have to eat boring food though," he said as he looked over at his father.
Father put a hand on Luke's head and ruffled his hair. "Doctor's order," Father said.
Leia looked around. The sitting room was empty. It looked similar to the one in the rooms they stayed at while on Father's ship. It had the feel and smell of the ship, but it was different furniture.
"Where are we?" she asked.
"This is the new rooms you'll be staying in," Father explained. "That door leads to your old room. My office is right on the other side."
Leia understood. The hallway from the old sitting room led to Luke and Leia's room and then to father's office. Beyond that had always been a closed door. This was the room behind that door. It was odd there was a whole other sitting room.
"Where's Mother?" Leia asked. "Where will she and the baby stay?"
At once the air changed. It cooled and sizzled. Leia felt her hair on the back of her neck stand on end. Father's eyes changed from blue to yellow. Luke frowned as he looked at his father.
"Father?" Leia asked. Her voice wasn't strong and brave. It was uncertain and a bit afraid.
"Luke, have a seat next to your sister," Father said.
Luke climbed onto the couch and sat next to Leia. The two sat side by side with their knees touching. Luke grabbed her hand. She squeezed his hand back. Father knelt to his knees in front of them. His yellow eyes looked at Leia then Luke then back to Leia.
"Your mother," he started to say but then paused. He took a breath. "Your mother has run away. With the baby."
Luke let out a small gasp, but Leia was frozen. She didn't even breath. Mother had run away? Again? With the baby? But what if she got hurt? Or the baby did? Why? They were all going to be together! With Father and Luke!
Father frowned. "I know," he said softly.
"Where did she go?" Leia demanded at once. "We have to go find her!"
Father looked horrible. His face was all wrinkled up wrong. He looked so sad. So hurt. Like he was about to cry though his eyes were dry.
"I am having everyone look for her," Father said softly. "Hopefully we'll find her and the baby soon."
Luke squeezed Leia's hand again.
AN: Many chapters ago I said we were nearing the end, but things change. I've been thinking hard about this story and the ending. I decided to do something different than what I originally planned. I think this has helped me overcome my writing block with this story. Good news is I already have the next chapter written. I'll post it up in a week.