There's not much that he hasn't said already.
I'm sorry I couldn't save you.
The world is ready to worship him as a hero, but he couldn't even manage being the hero for the one person who mattered most.
Tom.
Jake stands in front of the headstone, hands tucked into the pockets of his jeans.
Do you hate me for not saving you, Tom?
He wonders how his brother felt, when their identities were compromised and the Yeerks realized that the Andalites they'd been fighting had only been just a group of human kids- Well, human kids and one Andalite, he amends- when he realized that his younger brother had been among the Yeerks' enemies and hadn't saved him.
Had he hated him? Had he wondered why? Did he think Jake thought he wasn't worth the effort?
You were, Tom. You were the only damn reason I joined this war in the first place.
It's not going to do him any good to dwell on that.
You were my hero, Tom. I should have been yours.
Still inside his pockets, his fists clench.
The need to say something is overwhelming almost, but it's like his tongue has stuck to the roof of his mouth.
I'm sorry.
His eyes burn and he turns away from the grave.
It's time for him to go home. Even if he knows he'll hear his mother cry when she thinks he can't hear or that she'll look at him like she's trying to remember that none of this is his fault. That his father will try to mask the pain from his face but won't be able to do anything about the slouch of his shoulders.
The Animorphs have disbanded.
Rachel and Tobias have gone off together, taking Loren with them. They've more than earned the respite.
He knows Rachel has been in contact with her family, even if he himself hasn't heard from either of them.
(It's hard- he can see in each look his Aunt Naomi gave him that she blames him for what her daughter has become.
He doesn't blame her.)
Cassie seems to have moved on from the war, moved on from him. He's happy for her. Really. But it's hard to ignore the painful clench of his heart when he thinks of her. When he imagines what they could have had.
If things had been different.
And Marco...
/Pretty sure Rachel would have a heart attack if she saw you in those jeans./
His head jerks up.
"Marco?" he says, entirely on instinct.
Even though thought speak works differently than normal speech and Marco could currently be anything.
He feels what he's not sure is an entirely imagined itch and he swears that if Marco hitched a ride on him in flea morph, he will kill him.
/Says a lot about your mental state that you didn't know the osprey following you, my dude./
Now that Jake looks up, he can see the osprey wheeling overhead.
/But don't sweat it. Wouldn't be an Animorph if I didn't know how to be discreet./
Jake could have snorted.
/Can't believe you actually drove here like a normal person. I raised you better than that, didn't I?/
In spite of himself, Jake smirks.
/There's the Jake I know. He's still in there. Look, I'm coming down. No killing, okay, buddy?/
Marco means it as a joke. He thinks.
Jake just nods.