8/19/2020 AN: I am SO sorry for the lateness of my updates. Quarantine blues hit hard and it's been difficult to write. Not to mention that it takes a while to translate phrases in Elvhen. I can't promise that my updates will be regular, but I'll try my best to get new chapters out as soon as I am able to.

Just so you know, I have gone over the previous chapters and re-written some parts.

The Elvhen used here comes from 'Project Elvhen' by Fenxshiral on AO3. And Mahvir comes from Flamewing80 here on Fanfiction.

Disclaimer: I don't own Dragon Age or Mahvir. The only things that are mine is my character, and the plot that will show up in this story.

Still un-Beta'd.

"Hello" - speaking

'Hello' - thoughts

"Andaran atish'an" - Elvhen

Chapter 4

I float in nothingness, eyes too heavy to open and limbs too weak to move; but know that somehow I am alone here in this void. Wherever this is. Time is immeasurable here, and I continue to drift, not knowing how long I am here, just floating. Sounds fade in and out, muffled voices unrecognizable and unable to comprehend what they are saying.

I physically start - just a twitch of my muscles - as something warm is placed onto my forehead, but am otherwise unable to respond to this stimulus. This warm sensation is the first tangible feeling I have felt here in this void. It takes me a moment to figure out that the warm thing touching me is a hand, my mind too muddled and sluggish to think efficiently.

I hear a sigh as the hand moves, petting my head, as I remain unresponsive. This person begins to speak and, for the first time since finding myself here, I understand what is being said.

"Ahn ane min, Da'lan?" I hear it - no, him - ask. Here? Where is 'here'?

What are you doing here, Child?

I do not know how long we are here, myself unresponsive to what's around me and this male presence remaining at my side, his warm hand never leaving my head. My mind - my consciousness - drifts, only hearing a sharp inhale of air from my companion do my senses hone in on him once more.

"Ma tel'elas min!" I hear him yell, his voice taking on a pleading tone. Only now do I notice that there is a faint noise off in the distance. His hand leaves my head as I hear him stand from his place by my side "Ma islas vena mar'lan, 'ma Da'Lingrean." His voice fades as he moves away from me and soon I am alone again, even the faint noise in the distance is gone.

You cannot be here! ... You need to find yourself, my Little Phoenix.

'Vena... ara'lan?' I think to myself, long after the man has left. As soon as I finish that thought, I gasp in actual pain as images and sounds assault my mind. I am only able to catch a few things: a young human girl walking shakily on crutches in an apartment; an elven girl learning to shoot a bow in a Dalish camp. Faster and faster the images - no, memories - come, and I curl into a ball as a scream rips from my throat.

To find... myself?

My mind strains, painfully stretched thin, as it tries to accommodate both sets of memories. Agonizing moments go by before everything goes blissfully black.

I come to, gasping, laying in a bed. I shoot up into a sitting position before shuffling to huddle on the bed in the corner against the wall. Pulling my knees to my chest, I look around with frantic eyes, breathing coming hard and fast.

The room is familiar, yet unfamiliar. My head burns with pain as the memories clash against each other. Memories of the human Arianna Marie Lindsay playing a game on a contraption - computer - showing this same exact scene. Memories of the elven Alhasha "Fen'or" Lanaya Thelhen, formerly of the Korcari Wilds. I gasp for air as I begin to hyperventilate and clutch at my head, fingers curling and tugging at the auburn strands. I close my eyes in horrendous pain as the memories, and identities, clash for dominance and begin to overwhelm my senses.

I do not hear the door opening, panicking as the memories war within me; so I don't notice that there is someone kneeling in front of me until I feel a pair of large hands grip my own, pulling them away from my head and onto the bed. My eyes snap open as I gasp to look into eyes the same color as my own - not my own- I wince and shut my eyes again, a whimper leaving my lips.

"Da'lan! Ahnas del?" The voice belonging to those eyes asks me. I whimper again, tears streaming down my cheeks.

Child! What is wrong?

I vaguely hear him sigh, my identity(ies) still conflicting within me.

"Itha eir em," that same voice speaks calmly to me, but with a commanding tone in it.

Look at me.

Tentatively, I obey and crack my eyes open to stare at those eyes again. This time I look at more than his eyes, as overwhelmed as my mind is. His skin tone is pale, the Vallas'lin of Dirtheman just a shade darker than his skin. My eyes gaze over his dark brown, almost black, hair that grazes his collar bones; before looking to his eyes again.

"Ahnas del, da'lan?" He repeats his question to me.

What is wrong, child?

Images of this man flow into my strained mind: our first meeting; my first brace made by him; his visits every year. Gazing at him, a name pops into my mind.

"Mahvir?" I ask, unsure. His face morphs into relief as his shoulders lose some of the tenseness I did not see until now.

"Tell me, da'lan, 5 things that you see around you." he says to me, taking a while to comprehend what he is asking of me to do. But when it does, I answer.

"Good," he nods his head, his eyes never leaving mine. "now, tell me 4 things you feel... 3 things you hear... 2 things you smell right now...and 1 good thing about yourself."

By the time I answer the last thing that he asks of me, I am calmer than I was before. The memories are still fighting for dominance, but I am no longer hyperventilating.

"Ahnas del, Alhasha?" Mahvir asks me again.

What is wrong, Alhasha?

I start at the use of my name and wince as the hurricane of memories - both sets - separate from each other and fly into different directions. The memories of Alhasha flow to the forefront of my mind while the ones of 'Arianna' gather in the back; still there, but no longer struggling to be the primary set of memories. For now.

Gathering my thoughts on what to tell him - if I should tell him - Mahvir moves until he is sitting next to me against the wall. He then gathers me into his arms and just holds me, like he used to do when I was younger and needed someone to be there for me when Mamae was too busy.

Deciding to tell him part of the issue, I take a deep breath before speaking. "Memories," I whisper, my voice faint in the air.

"Memories?" He urges me to continue. So I do.

"Memories that are mine, and memories that aren't." His arms tighten around me as I continue. "They clash against each other. And when they don't, they are in the back of my mind waiting for something to trigger them..." My voice drifts off and I just listen to his breathing while he thinks over what I told him.

After a lengthy silence, Mahvir shifts his body so that, while sitting next to me, we are facing each other.

"When did this start?" His questions, while expected, does elicit a wince from me.

I chew on my lower lip before answering. "The day I attempted to close the Breach," my voice still as quiet as before.

"What triggered them this time?" He looks down at me, his eyebrows furrowed.

"Sleeping must have brought all the memories to the forefront of my mind, and they clashed." I pause for a moment before continuing, "Seeing your eyes didn't help much."

He raises an eyebrow at that, so I elaborate, "The color of your eyes is similar to Al- mine, and my memories conflicted with that of the other set."

There is a silence between us, but it's not a heavy one. We just stay sitting side by side on the bed, my knees drawn up to my chest again while Mahvir has his legs crossed.

"I think..." I break the silence and Mahvir glances at me. "... I think that as long as something doesn't trigger them, I'll be fine."

Mahvir turns his head to look at me. "When those memories are triggered, just remember that you are Alhasha, and that those memories are there to help you, not consume you."

I give him a weak grin. One that grows as I swat at Mahvir when he ruffles my hair, my laughter filling the cabin.

Ahn ane min, Da'lan? - What are you doing here, Child?

Ma tel'elas min! - You cannot be here!

Ma islas vena mar'lan, 'ma Da'Lingrean - You need to find yourself, my Little Phoenix

Vena... ara'lan? - To find... myself?

Alhasha - "wild"

Fen'or - "Wolf-like"

Lanaya - "She who has given everything." A name meaning someone who is very generous, not someone who has lost a lot, as the root word here is lan (meaning female person) and Lana, which means to allow, or to give.

Thelhen - Awake amongst the people. True meaning would possibly be something along the lines of, "He/She who sees with true clarity." 'See' in this case would most likely refer to mental clarity, not strong eyesight. Then+El'vhen

Da'lan! Ahnas del? - Child! What is wrong!

Itha eir em. - Look at me.

I am SO sorry this chapter is late and short. As I mentioned above, this COVID-19 quarantine really makes my imagination take a nosedive. And I just really wanted to get a this story updated as soon as I could, despite the shortness.

Anyway, please rate and review! And remember, no anonymous reviews are allowed.