Chapter Four

For a week, Lexa oversaw every plate of food and jug of liquid that went into Clarke's room and that subsequently came out untouched. The healer was sent in, morning and evening, and reported directly to Heda about Wanheda's condition and the fact that she refused all treatment to the point of violence. Her condition was not good, and deteriorating; malnutrition, dehydration, insomnia, depression, anxiety, with a heightened startle reflex, the wounds on her feet and wrists were becoming infected.

Lexa had provided Clarke with everything she could think of; sweetmeats, fruits, all manner of salad, vegetable and meat, every luxury she could name, soft furs, books, art supplies, even a bathtub was taken in for her comfort. Lexa grilled everyone who came and went from the room about what they noticed and as far as she could tell, nothing had so much as been looked at or touched. She requested to see Clarke everyday, twice a day, in fact, but Clarke refused all contact.

She tried to give Clarke time and space, but by the eighth day she could wait no longer, torn between genuine concern for Clarke's health and her pressing political situation. Lexa steeled herself as best she could at the door to Clarke's chamber, knocked and entered, Clarke was laying on the couch, where she had clearly been for some time, days Lexa estimated. Unwashed, thin, pale. It was shocking, truly, how a young woman of Clarke's previous physicality could be reduced so quickly, and so thoroughly, to this level of ill health.

With every other item on the Heda's agenda, she gathered intelligence, sought counsel, made a decision, gave the order and lived with the consequence. It was simple, she didn't explain herself, or second guess or regret. Oh she certainly learnt, she learnt different ways of approaching problems, employing solutions but she didn't regret. But everything with Clarke was regret and second guessing. Everything. She made the best deal for her people at Mount Weather, and if it had been anyone else, so be it.

But no, this is Clarke. And so Lexa has been second guessing and regretting every moment since. When she wanted to make things right Clarke had been uncontactable, MIA, she was told, having never returned to Skaikru in Arcadia. When Lexa became aware that the Ice Queen was actively searching for Clarke, to use her as a pawn in her quest for power, Lexa had wanted to protect her from the Ice Queen and so had arranged to have her 'taken'. Well, she would never have come any other way! And now this, giving her time was also an error it appears because she looks like she could pass out into unconsciousness, at any moment.

And before she could even venture to name her solution, she knew Clarke would reject it. She was even now second guessing whether to raise it at all. Perhaps she should just cut her losses and send the girl home. Perhaps she really had come to the end of what she could cope with?

Clarke gave what she might have thought was a penetrating stare and gravelled out "What part of I wont see you is unclear?" But her gaze was unfocussed and Lexa thought she was looking past her rather than at her. "I respected your wishes for a week, Clarke. But we have bigger concerns," she replied, but she had no fight left in her, not for this, not with Clarke.

Lexa approached Clarke indirectly, looking out of the window, she stepped forward very slowly and using small steps, hoping to pass off the action as insignificant or accidental. She could see that Clarke was having trouble standing, leaning heavily on the back of the couch and hiding her hands from Lexa. Clarke's skin was dull, as were her eyes which gave the distinct impression that she was in great pain, her lips were chapped and looked painful and her hair was darker than Lexa was used to seeing it, flat and in need of a wash.

"We don't have any concerns," Clarke bit back, challenging Lexa, her voice has not been used for some time, it cracked and was high and low in places. Damn that healer, why could they not, in eight days have found a way to treat her. But Lexa knew that this was her failure, she also had allowed a person who was ill equipped, to dictate terms and Lexa had had enough.

"Yes, we do," replied Lexa, wishing she could defer this until Clarke was in a better shape but her condition was declining rather than improving, and Heda was running out of time. Forget it, just send her home, she decided, "I am passing a summit with Skaikru at Sundown, you will be returned to your people." Clarke could not help herself, she had no energy to eat, to sleep but to hate Lexa, she would spend every penny she had, no matter the cos, "You went to all the trouble to capture me just to let me go?"

"I went to all that trouble to save you," Lexa was pleading with Clarke, with her eyes, please Clarke, submit, I will hurt you no more. "You know when I could have used saving? When you abandoned me in Mount Weather." She was becoming over taxed by the interaction, she was shaking, struggling for breath and clearly fighting pain.

Lexa changed her mind once more, she has come this far, "It helps no one to dwell on the past, and that's not why I am here. You are right, I am not just letting you go back to your people. I want something more. I want your people to become my people. I am offering Skaikru the chance to join my coalition. Become the thirteenth clan. No one would dare move against you because that would be moving against me."

"Leave me alone. I am done. Do you understand that? I left," and Clarke certainly seemed done, physically and psychologically. Caught between two thoughts, Lexa wanted Clarke to submit but not to give up altogether, she presented Clarke with the answer, the way out, "You can't run away from who you are Clarke. Join me. Bow before me and your people will be safe." She wanted Clarke to submit, to catch her before she hit the ground and force her to receive the treatment she so desperately needed to recover. And of course, there was always this difference between the two - whilst Clarke was fully prepared to give up on her life, she would not give in to Lexa on this issue.

Clarke began to become a little unstable at hearing this and Lexa second guessed herself again, she should have left it unsaid. "Bow before you?" Clarke began, somewhat hysterically, "You don't give a damn about my people. I know why you are here. I made you look weak at Mount Weather and now the Ice Nation is exploiting that. Well if you want the power of Wanheda - kill me. Take it."

Lexa turned and left the room knowing that she would never do that. No, she will right now she will have fierce words with the healer, attend the Council meeting, try to come to an understanding with Chancellor Griffin and Skaikru, host the Summit and send Clarke home.

Then Heda will focus all of her energy on bringing the twelve nations into line, achieving peace, once and for all. Clarke will be as safe as any other Skaikru, if she doesn't die of infection or malnutrition first, Heda can get on without second guessing herself, not being distracted and acting like a love sick fool and Lexa, well, she can go and ride a horse, find a pretty girl or something, anything.