Chapter Five
But of course, no sooner has Lexa made up her mind to that, when she finds herself summoned to Clarke's chamber and finds herself with a knife to her throat. Clarke, who can hardly stand, and has no upper body strength at all, is practically leaning on Lexa for support, has a blade pressed to Lexa's throat but she has neither the physical stamina to push the blade and break the skin nor the moral conviction. Lexa was momentarily shocked but one look in Clarkes' eyes and she knows that there is no threat. None. Only pain. Pain that she caused.
She wants nothing more than to hold Clarke, to just sweep her up off her feet, relieve all of the heavy burdens; physical, emotional and psychological. If only Clarke could find a way to submit. Of course Clarke cant do it, she throws the knife, loses her footing and Lexa manages to keep her upright with a hand on Clarke's waist and the other at her back. Clarke seems almost unconscious, Lexa takes her over to the bed and lays her on it, she sweeps her hair back from her face and whispers, "I am sorry. I never meant to turn you into this, Clarke, you are free to go." She calls for the healer and for Clarke's mother, Chancellor Griffin, to attend her daughter and returns to the throne room where she can actually be useful.
Heda moves through the activities of the afternoon like an automaton, the heavy weight of Lexa's unhappiness finally taking a toll upon the leader; training and schooling the Nightblood children, a rotation of strategy meetings primarily about the Ice Nation, updates on troop movements, consideration of Skaikru becoming the thirteenth clan. Lexa has accepted that Clarke will return after the Summit with her people and that will be the end of that. Her advisors insist that she eat something and change, it is nigh on time for the Summit.
Lexa does as she is advised, eats, bathes, changes into her Ceremonial garb and attends the Summit. She waits, out of sight, down the hall until all of the attendees are present, at the signal she enters via the main doors and makes her way through with determination, along the red carpet to her throne. She stands at her throne and turns to address the Summit attendees.
Before Heda can get a word out, the doors open again and Wanheda, dressed in similar ceremonial garb enters, and strides, albeit on shaky legs, into the room. Tracing the exact same trail made moments before, along the carpet to stand before Heda. Lexa can't help but wonder if she is about to pull another knife and retry what she failed to do earlier. Clarke looks at her, her blue eyes meeting Lexa green eyes, she sucks in her breath and sinks down on both knees she bows before Heda. Submission.
The thirteenth clan that Heda desperately needs. And to be fair, Skaikru needs this too, the protection that comes with being part of the coalition, led by Heda. Lexa cannot help but think about how beautiful Clarke looks, thin, frail, pale, shaky and all. The full recognition and understanding of her betrayal and the effect that it has come to have upon the woman she loves, comes crashing down upon Lexa.
This woman, who was betrayed by Lexa, and as a result cannot eat, sleep, who can hardly walk has found it within herself, somewhere, somehow to come before all these people to kneel before Heda, Lexa, her betrayer. As long as Lexa lives she will never deserve this woman, but she knows she will never stop trying to win her. She has doubted and second guessed everything, except how truly exceptional this woman is. Clark, Wanheda.
Heda is unable to compromise, unable to change her mind, it signals weakness and the price will be paid by the deaths of thousands of her people. It was Lexa's turn to make things right with Clarke but instead, Clarke found it within herself, when she had nothing left to give to submit, on her knees, publically, to the woman she hates most in the world. Just at the moment Lexa had lost hope, here comes the most courageous woman she has ever known, to kneel before her. Lexa will never lose faith, never lose heart or second guess herself again. Her faith in Clarke was not misplaced.
Hardly a moment after Skaikru was initiated into the Coalition as the thirteenth clan, it became apparent that the Ice Queen had moved against Skaikru, therefore against the Coalition, and Heda. First by waging war at Mount Weather against Skaikru, second staging a coup at the Summit and third by challenging Heda's right to rule by issuing a challenge to be decided by combat, a fight to the death, winner takes all.
The Ice Queen immediately nominates her son, Prince Roan, to fight on her behalf. When Lexa initially refused to nominate a champion to fight in her stead, rather to fight herself, the collective in-breath of everyone present at the Summit could be heard. She didn't have to see it to know that Indra and Gaia gave each other some serious side eye. It irked her but there were still so many other things to consider and she was forced to move that little number to the back of the queue.
The Skaikru delegation left immediately for Arkadia with defensive forces supplied by all eleven delegations, excepting troops from the Ice Nation, of course. Clarke was determined to stay in Polis to both make use of the voting power made available to them as part of the Coalition and to keep Heda honest. Lexa overheard that and could not help but smile, it was true that they had no reason to trust her, but if they knew her heart, she would never fail Clarke or Skaikru ever again.
When everyone had left the throne room at the end of the night, a bone weary Clarke said to Lexa, "If you betray me again…" Lexa was quick and certain to reassure her, "I won't." She knew that words were not enough. In an attempt to acknowledge and validate Clarke's concerns and in an effort to communicate her unyielding commitment, both to Clarke and to the Skaikru people, Lexa went down on her knees before Clarke; "I swear fealty to you, Clarke kom Skaikru. I vow to treat your needs as my own and your people as my people."
Clarke was at least as contradictory as Lexa; one minute never going to submit, the next on her knees, at once hell bent on murder, the next able to forgive. Clarke simply held out her hand, inviting Lexa to stand and Lexa felt forgiven, perhaps she may not have earned Clarke's trust but it was testament to Clarke's nature, to forgive her and start over. Lexa nearly added 'just like that' to the end of her thought, but one look at Clarke was enough to remind her that all of this, from the moment of Lexa's betrayal, for tonight and for everything in between - Clarke has paid, is paying a heavy price.
Lexa led her back to her room and when she left her, she called for a healer to tend to Clarke, and attendants to help prepare her for bed. The healer presented with a grim determination, having had to endure the shame brought about by Heda's refusal to accept anything less than immediate results in the improvement of Wanheda's condition. The attendants had also received a motivating speech and turned up with arms laden with items they hoped would bring some comfort to Wanheda.
Preparing herself for sleep, Lexa is not too concerned about the actual combat scheduled for the following day quietly confident in her ability to overcome and ready to accept her fate, if indeed, she has miscalculated. Despite the fact that her opponent is Prince Roan, the son of the Ice Queen who is a huge wall of muscle, towering over Lexa in height, width and therefore reach. After sparing a few thoughts for how very beautiful Clarke looked tonight, she virtually went straight to sleep, sleeping all the way through the night and woke the following morning feeling physically and mentally rested and prepared for battle.