Originally, she was supposed to be grouped with the other volunteers who arrived at the facility that day. She was just another body they could study, use and abuse under the guise of research - really furthering their advancements in the creation of enhanced species. Nothing special. And everyone in the facility thought just that until one of the scientists recognized her during the intake scan.

Her face matched a picture from the SHIELD database leak that had spread across the world months prior. One that a few people in the facility combed through in detail just to make sure no one was aware of their project. Making sure that at least a few Hydra secrets were still kept under wraps (their project was left undiscovered thankfully). A few more clicks pulled up her entire SHIELD file, letting them read about things that weren't previously public knowledge. Never had they had an ex-SHIELD agent in their hands before...

Which was why von Strucker decided he wanted to deal with her personally. She could be useful to them; giving them information on the now collapsed government organization and whatever sorts of partnerships they had. Information on known associates and missions that were still active even though the division was no longer in charge. And if not, he was sure they could find something else to use her for.

As if the SHIELD connection wasn't surprising enough, there was another connection that made their new guest all the more enticing. During the evaluation, the techs found that her DNA contained markers similar to a previous subject Hydra had experimented on. The original soldier in the Soldier Project. It was a faint, only about fifteen percent match, but it was enough to prick his interest in the woman. His plan formulated from there.

It could've been hours, days, weeks, or months, Q really wasn't sure. All she knew was that she was trapped in the Hydra facility, still strapped to the chair she had woken up in. The only time she was ever unstrapped was when she needed to use the restroom, but her hands were tied behind her back and she wasn't ever left by herself. She wasn't even sure she'd be able to do anything if she was ever alone. Von Strucker - the man with the monocle - was a Hydra scientist and had developed a special interest in Q for what she assumed was because of her ties with SHIELD. His team started poking and prodding her, attaching wires all along her body to monitor activity and began pumping her with some sort of blue liquid that made her head hurt even more than the bright light that had been shining on her face ever since she woke up.

She had tried to fight it, of course. Tried to get out of the restraints, making the skin around her wrists raw. Bit and headbutted anyone who came close to her. Screamed so loudly and for so long that her throat felt like it was on fire. But it was no use; no one was letting her out and no one could hear her screams - or even if they could, no one cared.

All von Strucker cared about was making her talk. At first, Q didn't understand why he wanted to talk about the organization that had collapsed months prior. All the information he could ever want was out there on the world wide web - some encrypted yes, but still available for him. Then she realized he wanted to get specific. Learn about the things she had seen and read during her time analyzing the Avengers and their counterparts. Discover things that were so classified they were kept out of the database. Like the farm she had set up for Barton and his family, which she had been able to keep under wraps, despite the tactics von Strucker used.

SHIELD had forced all of their recruits to go through the proper training in case they were ever in a situation like the one she was currently in now. Though all of the simulations were predictable - this was not. None of Fury's training modules had prepared her for the electroshock therapy she had endured first, or the nails being pushed under her fingernails that had come after, or the red hot wires that were wrapped around her wrists, cutting the skin deep enough to leave scars - and nothing had prepared her for the young woman who walked through the door after all that. From the way the guards moved with her, it was clear that all that happened before was just an appetizer. Whatever the woman was about to do to her was the main course.

As she walked into the room and got closer to Q, she realized the woman was really just a girl. Younger than her, but older than Q's sister. She had long wavy brown hair that brushed her stomach. Her eyes were ringed with dark eyeliner - good to know Hydra had some makeup kits lying around, and she was dressed in what seemed to be a ratty t-shirt that was just too long so she had decided it was a dress.

"Who are you?" Q asked, trying to sound a bit tougher than she felt. Though the scratchiness of her voice made her seem just as weak as she really was. The woman didn't respond, instead stalking around her like Q was her prey - and she probably was. Q's eyes followed her around the dimly lit room, trying to figure out what this woman was going to do to her. That way she could brace herself just as she had during the first two rounds of torture.

Suddenly, with a flick of her wrist, a bright red glow started to extend from her fingers. The tendrils came closer to Q's head - only her peripheral vision letting her see a bit of how the red energy twisted and taunted it's way to her and then wrapped itself around her head. The next thing she knew, her eyes were rolling back and the world went dark.

Letting her eyes flutter open, she rolled over in bed and winced a little as the sunlight hit her directly in the face. Her hand moved up to block the sun a bit so she could get adjusted while she woke up a bit more. She pushed herself up into a sitting position and looked around her bedroom, feeling like something was a little off. But she pushed past it once she heard the noise of plates clinking together coming from the kitchen.

Following the noise, she found the perfect scene in the kitchen. Steve, fresh from the shower, at the stove and filling a plate with an pile of scrambled eggs, home fries, and bacon. As if he could sense her (he probably could with those super soldier abilities), he glanced over his shoulder at her with a brilliant grin.

"'Morning, baby." he turned away from the stove so that he could face her fully, "We were wondering when you were gonna get up…" he teased her lightly, but Q's brows furrowed.

"We?" she asked while he moved over to give her a kiss on the cheek. She took the plate he was handing her and noticed his subtle head tilt toward the living room area.

There were baby toys strewn around the living room; a large playmat took up most of the room in the center, fit with a massive hanging mobile. Wanting to see if what she thought was really there was actually there, she took a couple steps into the living room. Around the couch, in the middle of the playmat was...a baby. A baby. And God was she adorable.

Forgetting about breakfast, she set the plate on the side table and moved to pick up their baby. Tears sprung to her eyes as she held the baby in front of her eyes. She had never really thought about having kids before - it just never made its way into her plans. But then she had met Steve and had a fleeting thought that maybe, maybe, there could be a possibility of it happening. And it had - without her even realizing it.

She balanced the baby on her hip, letting her wrap her tiny hand around her other finger. The baby stared back at her. Her eyes an almost exact copy of Steve's eyes, flecks of green included, and a soft dusting of dark hair that had to be from Q. She always hated how new parents said their baby was the cutest baby they had ever seen; come on, all babies looked the same. But now she understood. Her baby was the cutest baby she had ever seen.

Whispering sweet nothings to her, she barely noticed Steve coming up to the two of them until his arm slid around her waist and pulled them closer to him. She turned her face to his and lifted her chin up a bit so he could rest his forehead against hers. Her eyes fluttered shut as she took in the moment, trying to remember it forever.

"We've got a family." she whispered to him, feeling almost giddy. After everything she had done to him, all the hurt and pain she caused - he had forgiven her. He had forgiven her and they had built a life, a family, together. She had gotten her happy ending after all, hadn't she?

Wanda let her live in the moment for a bit more, knowing that it wasn't going to last much longer. Her instructions were clear: she could use the former SHIELD agent however she wanted - using her as a lab rat for the newfound powers that had been developing since she and her brother had signed up for von Strucker's experiments, but she was also supposed to be making, no breaking her, so that when von Strucker came back, he could get whatever he wanted out of her and then some.

But first she wanted to ease the woman into it. Give her something to make her feel like what was happening in her head wasn't just happening in her head. That way she would be less likely to fight back - but by the looks of the it, she probably wouldn't be fighting back anyway. Thanks to whatever the scientists had pumped into her, her body was adjusting to it and reorganizing itself to welcome whatever was in the drug they had given her. It was in transition mode, a vulnerable state. Meaning her muscles were being stripped to be rebuilt, her immune system was weakening only to become stronger, and her mind was pliable. Easily accessible for Wanda to project whatever scenes she wanted - both good and bad, pulling from her favorite dreams and preying on her worst nightmares.

And she had had enough of this warm family scene. It left her with a sour taste in her mouth; a reminder of what she had lost and how this woman was associated with some of the people at fault for it.

The world flexed around them. Q could feel it. And a second later, there was a knock at the door. Steve moved to answer it and as soon as he opened the door a shot rang out - echoing around the apartment and matching Q's scream of horror. He crumpled down onto the ground and Q immediately went to protect the child in her arms, only to find she wasn't holding anything at all. There was no baby, no baby toys...only her and Steve, who was bleeding out on the floor in front of the door.

Thoughts moving to him, she rushed over to his body and fell to her knees next to him. Her hands were shaking as she tried to press them over the blossoming red spot on his chest. His breathing was already weak and his eyes were unfocused, flitting around as if trying to find something to focus on.

"Steve, hey, hey, hi," she moved one hand to the back of his head to cradle it, "I'm right here, baby. Right here." she assured him, trying to get his eyes to focus on her. He found her and winced in pain.

"This wouldn't have happened -" he managed out, coughing up a bit of blood as he did, "if you hadn't left me." he finished seriously. She felt tears spring to her eyes and a small sob escaped without her realizing it.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Steve." she apologized profusely. He couldn't die. Not like this. Not still mad at her for leaving him. She didn't know what she would do if he was still upset with her while he died in her arms. He needed to know how much she loved him, how much she regretted her mistake. He was right: she never should've left him.

"He's right, you know." A different voice spoke from above her. Tearing her eyes from Steve, she looked up to see Bucky - no - the Winter Soldier standing above her. The light glinted off his metal arm, the bottom of his face covered by a mask and there was a gun in his other hand, which he was resting casually against his shoulder as if he didn't just use it to shoot Steve. Reaching for his mask, he pulled it off with his metal hand and tossing it to the side, revealing Bucky's face underneath. Except the dead eyes staring at her told her he was anything but her supposed grand-uncle.

Her breath quickened as she scrambled back from him, her ass sliding against the wood floor of the apartment. He stepped over Steve's body without a glance, entirely focused on her as he clicked back the chamber of the gun.

"He was your friend." she managed out, eyes darting to where Steve lay in a pool of his own blood.

"No he wasn't." he shook his head slightly, reminding her that she was dealing with a different person, "He was my mission." his voice was monotone. She kept backing up until her back hit the bottom of the island. Her chest was heaving with quick, panicked breaths as she tried to think of something to say, but her mind was blank, "And so are you." his voice dropped into a low, scary tone that made her shiver, "You shouldn't have tried to find me, Q." he raised his gun and pointed it at her.

Squeezing her eyes shut, she braced herself for the sound of a gun firing, but instead there was nothing but silence. She waited another moment before slowly opening her eyes. It took her a moment to realize that she wasn't in the apartment anymore, but in a white room. Was this heaven? Or hell? Or somewhere in between? She had no idea. But there was something familiar about the room nonetheless.

The door - there was a door, clicked open and much to her surprise, Fury walked into the room. Dressed in his usual uniform of all black with a matching eye patch for his injured eye. She tried to remember how he lost his eye, but it was hard to. Why was he here? Weren't they supposed to keep their distance since the Congress hearings?

"Are you finished with your tantrum, Proctor?" he asked with a raise of his eyebrow. Her fists clenched instinctively and she went to raise them, only to feel restrained. Looking down, she realized she was strapped to a single, twin bed, no longer standing in the middle of the white room. And that's when she realized where she was.

"Let me go." she gritted out, already hating the situation she was forced back into. This wasn't her anymore. Fury knew that. Why was he treating her like he didn't?

"Not until I'm sure you won't have another outburst. January is still bleeding from where you bit her."

"She shouldn't have gotten so close." she spat out the right response. It made Fury chuckle a bit, walking closer to the bed, but still keeping his distance from her.

"Need I remind you this is your second chance to do something with your so-called life." he clasped his hands behind his back as she continued to struggle against her restraints, "We didn't have to be this merciful." he reminded her. She glared at him, angry at him for putting her right back where all her hard work had gotten her out of. She had done so much to prove she wasn't that girl anymore.

"A little longer then." Fury decided before she could argue. He left the room without another word, ignoring her yells of anger. She wriggled against her restraints, trying find a way to get herself out. She had done it before - which they knew, and of course the reason why they had made them tighter.

"She's watching you." A voice bounced around the room, sounding like a young child whispering a secret, "She's here. You have to get out of here." she urgently told Q. Again, Q struggled against the restraints. Relaxing her hand, she twisted her wrist back and forth to wiggle it out of the straps. It took a minute but she got herself free and let out a proud gasp at how her efforts paid off. She ripped off the other restraints and quickly scrambled off the bed for the door. Time to get out of there.

"Let her go." Wanda ordered the guards, stopping them from getting in the way of wherever the woman was going. She was curious to see where the woman would end up in the facility, especially considering what was going on inside her head. The woman had ripped off her restraints with a clumsy force that Wanda didn't know she had. Whatever was inside of her was making a home inside her body.

Following her stumbling walk through the building, Wanda sent out tendrils of energy to make sure no one followed them. Jolting her out of the manipulation would cause some serious side effects that would be detrimental to all of von Strucker's work. She couldn't have that happen.

Hurrying down the hall, the girl's voice kept echoing. Reminding her that someone was watching her, even though the hallway was empty. She kept looking over her shoulder as she walked through the SHIELD Academy halls as if expecting someone to pop up and confirm what the girl was saying.

As she passed by a window, Q paused at the sight of her reflection. Instead of the woman who always stared back at her, there was a younger version of herself. Her nineteen year old self to be exact - purple highlights, nose ring and all. Her eyes were sunken in and ringed black with smudged eyeliner, lips chapped and SHIELD Academy uniform ripped and dirty for some reason she couldn't remember. That explained why Fury was acting the way he was.

Stepping up to the reflection, Q raised her hand and watched the other her do the same. She pressed her hand to the glass, letting their hands come together. Her eyes scanned the reflection while the other her watched with an almost cocky look.

"Doesn't matter how hard you try to change." her reflection spoke, "Doesn't matter how many pantsuits you hide under or how many people you keep at a distance and push away. Doesn't matter how hard convince yourself you're not me." she raised her other hand and Q watched as she herself did the same thing to match the reflection's motion.

"You'll always be me. Us." she reminded her with a smirk.

Backing up from the window, Q quickly turned and ran down the hall. She glanced in the windows she passed, seeing the same reflection pass by and keep up with her as she tried to escape. Tried to leave her past self behind. It wasn't her anymore. It couldn't be. Right? Even despite the shitty decisions she had made, she was a different person. She had to be. Right?

Turning a corner, she pushed through a random door and found herself in a completely different hallway of a completely different building. A quick glance down at herself revealed that she was in a pantsuit instead of the SHIELD Academy uniform. The ding of the elevator got her attention and she looked to see two doors sliding open and in stepped a large group of SHIELD agents.

"Proctor," Sitwell called out to her, "You comin' or what?" he asked and she moved into the elevator with them while the same voice kept repeating the phrase it had been over and over again.

She was here.

She was watching her.

Had to get out.

A hand came down on her lower back, making her glance to the side to see Rumlow standing beside her. His face didn't give way to the fact that his hand was moving down her back to her ass. Nor did he seem to care that they were in a crowded elevator with other agents and STRIKE team members.

Before she could do anything, the elevator stopped moving and opened to whatever floor she had gone up to. She carefully walked out with the rest of the group, bracing herself for whatever she was going to find next. But certainly not bracing herself enough for Nat coming up to her with Loki's scepter in her hand.

"Here," she handed it out to Q. Pausing before she took it, she noticed that Nat's hair was short and curly, like it had been during the Battle of New York. In fact, she was even dressed in the same uniform she wore…

A quick glance around let her know that she was on the penthouse level of Stark Tower mere moments after the Battle of New York ended. No, this wasn't right. She hadn't been here then. Sure she had looked over the security camera footage in her post-op analysis, focused on certain points, and drew connections to past actions in the penthouse that predicted future ones, but she was never actually there.

She was here.

She was watching her.

Had to get out.

"Are you gonna take this or what, Q?" Nat asked, shaking the scepter a bit, "My arm's getting tired." Q reached for it, almost entranced by the glow of it. She had never seen it up close before...

The scepter pulsed brightly, as if it was a living, breathing, thing. Wanda knew it was. She could feel it. And knew it was the thing that made her to the person she was at that point. Gifting her with the abilities to finish the war that Sokovia was in, avenging the people she had lost and fighting for a better future. The woman seemed to know it's power too, reaching out for it only for Wanda to quickly deter her away from it - the last thing she needed was the woman wielding the scepter while trapped in her own mind. Who knew what she would do with it.

"Queenie…" the sound of Steve's voice got her attention. She turned to see him stumbling over to her, clutching his abdomen. His uniform was ripped and stained with dirt and blood. Hair falling over his face, blood dripping from his mouth. Her heart contracted at the sight of him. No, not again. She managed to catch him as he fell into her arms, going down onto the ground with him.

"You're okay, you're alright." she comforted him, pushing back his sweaty hair in an effort to see his face. She watched as his face became paler, breaths labored and longer pauses between each exhale. He was dying, in her arms, yet again.

"It's your...fault." he managed out. His dying words. His eyes fluttered shut as she clutched him tightly,

"No, no no no no." she rocked him a bit as tears streamed down her face, "No, Steve, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!" she cried out before picking her head up and looking around the room, "Someone help!" she screamed out, but no one listened - no even heard her.

"Q…" Steve's voice came from another corner of the room. His nose was bleeding and he reached up to touch it, coming away with a horrified expression and then meeting her eyes, "You did this to me." he whispered out, but it still echoed even long after he collapsed onto the floor. Dead. Just like the other.

Again, and again she watched as multiple Steve's popped up around the room. All of them about to die. All of them telling her it was her fault. She shouldn't have left him. He's dead and it's her fault. Her fault.

Her fault.

She was here.

Her fault.

Her nineteen year old reflection waggled her fingers at her from the window across the room.

She was watching her.

She did this to him.

Shouldn't have gone to find Bucky. Shouldn't have left.

Couldn't change. Was always going to be who she was. A self-sabotager, liferuiner, unloveable.

Steve's dead.

Had to get out.

The sound of a shrieking alarm suddenly got Wanda's attention and was enough to make her drop the woman from the hold she had on her. The woman collapsed to the ground like a sack of potatoes, groaning softly as the vision ended abruptly. Guards rushed out from every available doorway, heading into the direction of the intruder alert.

Leaving the woman there, Wanda melted back into the shadows of the corners. She watched as the woman tried to get to her feet, failing once, twice and then finally just rolling onto her side and curling up into a ball and sobbing slightly. A sign that Wanda had done well. Von Strucker would be pleased to know that the woman was in a position where she would be more willing to talk. Smirking to herself, Wanda moved against the wall to go find von Strucker. With a flick of her wrist, she influenced a guard to watch over the woman until she got back with the scientist.

Q drifted in and out of consciousness, becoming unsure what was real and what wasn't. The world spun a little as she tried to sort through what she had just experienced. Whatever that woman did to her - drugged her or whatever, it sent her on a trip unlike any drug induced one she had ever been on before. God it wrecked her more than any of the torture von Strucker had put her through.

Trying to settle her mind, she focused on how cold the ground was beneath her. The ground. She must be out of the chair then. Testing her theory, she moved her arms out, sliding them against the concrete floor she was curled up on. Nothing stopped her - no restraints or wires or tubes connected somewhere else. Was she...free?

She tried to get to her feet, but quickly realized her balance was completely off kilter. Had to be a side effect of whatever the woman did to her. She ended up collapsing back down and instead crawling toward what looked like was a wall of some sort. She could use it for support. Leaning her back against the wall, she set herself in a seated position, trying to keep her head up and her eyes open so she could formulate some sort of escape plan. The pain she was in was even worse than the pain she experienced when she had gotten shot. This was the emotional pain, the type of mental pain that wouldn't go away with some stitches. She was spent.

Plus, there was a shrill noise in her ears that was making it hard to truly focus. Until she realized it was some sort of alarm. She looked around to find the woman who had been fucking with her but only saw a guard standing at attention with swirls of red softly moving around him. Another victim of the woman's powers. No one else was paying attention to her, running by her without a second glance.

With that in mind, she tried to refocus on coming up with an escape plan. She had no idea where she was or how she got there but there was a window a few feet away. Even though she had no idea how high up she actually was, she figured she could jump; an escape was an escape. Rather a few broken bones than being trapped in Hydra hell.

Crawling the few feet to the window proved to be a challenge, but somehow she made it. And the uniformed man didn't even move to stop her. Her nails dug into the concrete ledge of the window, using it as a way to pull herself up a bit more. She had to stop after that though. Out of breath, she wondered where all that hard work and training the past several months had disappeared to.

"Q!" she suddenly heard a familiar voice call out from behind her. One she hadn't heard in a long time. She turned toward it, slipping against the concrete and falling onto her ass again. Wincing in pain, she shut her eyes and then somehow heard the heavy thuds of whoever was calling out to her get closer. He dropped into a crouch in front of her and she opened her eyes to see his dirty blond hair first,

"Steve…" she whispered, breathing out a sigh of relief as her eyes fluttered shut again, "You're here, thank god you're here, Steve." her head lolled back as if it was too heavy for her neck to hold anymore. It didn't matter. Steve was there. He was alive and he had come to rescue her. He wasn't angry with her. Everything was going to be okay. He let out a slight chuckle as his hand reached behind her head to support it.

"It's been a long time, bunny, but I really thought you'd at least always remember my name." he smoothly, almost teasingly, said. It was enough to get her to open her eyes again, long enough for the face in front of her to come into focus.

"Oh, fucking damnit...Spencer." she managed out, pairing it with a groan.

Out of all the people she expected to rescue her, he was the last person she expected to see. And overall, he wasn't even on the list of people she wanted to see.

A/N: Ahhhhh hopefully you all enjoyed this very intense chapter! And I hope it holds you over for a bit because I am going to Ireland in like two days and won't be able to update until I'm back!

I was really excited about this chapter and have been planning it for a bit, so I hope it wasn't TOO confusing! Please lmk all of your thoughts! I live off of your reviews, seriously, so please tell me everything!

And if you're a mother (to either a child or a pet idc) happy Mother's Day!