A loud, shrill beep came from the computer station, getting his attention. Moving from the kitchen area to the computers, Marina joined him from the hall.
"What the hell is that?" she asked, hands settling at her hips.
"The front door." Dawson replied under his breath. Fingers running over the keyboard, he pulled up the security camera to see who had found them. One glance at the screen was enough to shift his anxiety into relief. Moving to the door, Marina curiously following behind, he opened it as quickly as he possibly could.
"Oh thank fuck." he breathed out as soon as he came face to face with his best friend. He didn't even let her say anything, reaching out and pulling her into his arms in an uncharacteristic hug. A weight left his shoulders as he held her tightly against his chest. There had been so much worry and guilt that settled since she disappeared - and he wasn't sure he was ever gonna get rid of it considering he had just finished exercising his last option before calling in Nat and Rogers. But he didn't have to do that; she was here. There, in front of him, in his arms. Thank God.
His hand went to the back of her head, threading through her knotted waves while the other wrapped around her somehow even tinier waist. Whatever muscle mass she had gained in the past year since being in Odessa was gone. She was back to regular old Q, but almost worse. Ignoring the way she smelled of dirt and blood and something acidic, he kept his eyes closed, knowing he was going to hate seeing the effects of her stay with Hydra. It should've been him. She never should've gone in the first place, but her stubbornness was enough to drive him up a wall and lead him to agreeing to what she wanted. He regretted ever doing so.
Still, he took in a deep breath and pressed a kiss to the side of her face. Then, with a step back, he moved his hands so they could rest against her cheeks and finally met her eyes. They were already filling with tears and he felt the corners of his eyes prick with ones of his own. But now was not the time to be crying. Also, he didn't need that getting around; that he had cried when his best friend returned from Hydra. That wasn't very baller.
"You okay?" he asked the stupidest question he'd ever asked her in his life. Immediately, he regretted it; obviously no she wasn't okay. And she shook her head in response, not even bothering to hide her pain anymore. He took in a breath before trying to give her a strong smile, "But you're alive." he reminded her.
"I'm alive." she repeated, voice sounding completely shot. Like it had that time she got bronchitis for the third time in a row because she refused to take care of herself. She gave him a sad smile and he knew she was moments away from breaking down. So he pulled her into his arms and let her bury her face into his shoulder, not even bothering to comment how she was going to get his shirt all dirty.
The pair stayed connected for a moment before Q pulled back first. Using the back of her hand, she wiped the tears from her eyes and took in a breath. His eyes quickly darted over her, not exactly getting a full look but enough to make his stomach roll. Though she was in a seemingly fresh pair of clothes, she looked like she had been through hell. And technically she had been. It reminded him of how she looked when she first got to SHIELD: wild, but sharp eyes, hair knotted up, and completely strung out.
The bags under her eyes were dark enough to look like bruises - maybe they were, he couldn't tell. Her hands shook slightly as if she had drank six Red Bulls in a row while her body twitched every couple of seconds, and he assumed it wasn't in her control. Another wave of guilt rolled over him; she shouldn't look like that. He should've tried harder to find her, done more to figure out where the facility was, or even stopped her from going in the first place. Never had he felt like a more terrible person than right in that moment. Which was strange for him. Being sympathetic was not one of his character traits.
"Sam, you remember Sam, right?" her hoarse voice made his attention shift to the man standing behind her. He didn't even realize someone was there with her, being so focused on her. Sam, right, the guy who helped them take down SHIELD. Rogers' friend.
"Hey, man," Dawson reached out to shake his hand, met with a firm, strong handshake. An Army handshake, "Good to see you again." he added lamely, even though he wasn't sure if it was a good thing. Sam nodded in response, letting Q explain his presence.
"We, uh, we ran into each other." she continued vaguely, and Dawson knew there was more to the story than she was letting on, "And he offered me a ride back."
"Thank you, man." Dawson swallowed the lump in his throat, knowing that if Sam hadn't been there - wherever there was, then Q wouldn't be standing in front of him. Again, Sam nodded curtly, still keeping his mouth shut. A quick look from Q proved that Sam had a lot to say. He just wasn't going to do it quite yet; Q was the main concern.
"Let's get you inside." Dawson let his attention shift back to Q, putting a protective arm around her and guiding her into the beach house.
Marina was the one who helped her shower - Dawson and Q were close but not that close. And she didn't really help all that much; just sat on the toilet and made sure Q didn't faint or fall. An actual shower felt nice. She was finally able to rid herself of the grime and blood left by Hydra. While her body still ached all over, the warm water did wonders for her tense muscles. A part of her just wanted to stay under the steady stream of water for hours, not ready to face the scene currently gathering out in the living room.
Almost like the water knew this, it suddenly ran cold. Icicles shot through her bloodstream making her gasp in surprise. Quickly reaching for the handle to turn the shower head off, she let herself hiss in pain. While the warm water felt great against her aches and injuries, the icy water did nothing but remind her of them. And how sore they were exactly.
Helping her out of the shower, Marina trailed her to her room. Like a lost puppy. Q wanted to say she was fine, she didn't need any help and she certainly didn't need Marina hovering. But when she needed to take a breather just from walking a few feet from the bathroom to the bedroom, she reconsidered saying anything.
After slowly dressing herself in her own clothes, Q made her way back to the living room with Marina at her heels. Sam was lounged out on the loveseat. Clearly making himself at home for the time being. While Dawson was at the stove, spooning out giant clumps of bright orange mac and cheese into a bowl for Q. She had never been more grateful for him.
Being ushered to the couch, she curled up in her designated corner and let Marina drape a blanket over her shoulders. It was oddly strange to be fretted over, cared for, after spending however long only knowing torture in the form of Hydra. Or fake comfort for no doubt personal gain in the form of Spencer. The last time someone had taken care of her like this when she was injured was when she had sprained her ankle and Steve had taken care of her for the entire day. A pang of longing went through her heart at the memory of much simpler times, and how she wished she could be back there instead of oceans away.
Dawson crossed the room and handed her the bowl of mac and cheese with a spoon for her to use. She didn't bother to wait for it to cool down, immediately digging in and shoveling the food into her mouth. Ignoring the worried looks from her company, she finished the bowl in minutes flat. Yes, burning her entire mouth, but when was the last time she actually ate? She couldn't remember.
"How long," she asked after swallowing to clear her throat, "have I been…" she trailed off, not sure how to finish her question. Luckily, Dawson did it for her,
"In Hydra hell?" he raised his eyebrows up, reaching for her empty bowl so he could get her some more. Really he should've just given her the pot, "Twelve days." her stomach dropped at the amount of time she had been gone. She knew she had been stuck in there for a while, but twelve days was...a lot.
"What does he mean Hydra hell?" Sam interjected before Q could comment on Dawson's answer. Both shared a look before she answered him herself,
"I was, uh, taken, by Hydra." she responded simply. They hadn't talked much on the trip to the beach house. Q mostly slept the entire drive there. She half expected to wake up on a plane back to New York. But Sam had kept his word and taken her to the address she had given him.
"I'm sorry, what now?" his eyebrows were raised and his eyes wide. Glancing to Dawson, she realized now would be the best time to tell everyone what happened to her. Even though she really, really didn't want to talk about it.
But she did. And tried to ignore the paling of Dawson's face, the clenches of Sam's jaw or the way Marina fiddled with her fingers like she was in the most uncomfortable situation ever. She tried to keep it light and easy, but there was no sugarcoating what happened to her. The scars were there, both mentally and physically. All of them could see what a toll the torture had taken on her.
"Q, you need a hospital." Sam finally said after she had finished telling her story. She shook her head, ignoring the ringing in her ears as she did.
"No, no I'm okay." she gave him a small smile, hoping it would placate him enough to let it go. It didn't. He leaned forward, elbows settling on his thighs as his hands folded into each other.
"I'm serious, Q, you need to get yourself checked out. Make sure those injuries are healing properly and they didn't put anything in your system that could harm you." he explained, as if Q didn't already know that and was a hundred percent certain they had in fact put something in her body. But they had the tools they needed in the beach house to flush out anything that needed to get out and there was always Marina's doctor friend if it became serious. "Why aren't you concerned about this?" he asked, taking her lack of response as an actual response.
"Cause…" she took in a breath that made her ribs ache before letting it out again, "Cause I don't need anyone figuring out where I am." she kept it vague enough not to flat out say it, but knew Sam was smart enough to get it.
"I know where you are." he pointed out. A part of her thought it was a threat or a warning of some sort, which is what she went with in her reaction to his comment,
"And I hope you'll keep it to yourself." she kept her eyes on his, holding his stare steady for a moment before he shook his head slightly and looked away. Obviously displeased by the fact that he would have to keep a secret from Steve, but still somewhat agreeing to.
"What else did you see in there?" Dawson asked, changing the subject. Q took in a breath, letting her hand run through her hair before it settled on top of her head.
"It's all hazy." she sighed, "There was this woman there. With some sort of enhancements. She made me see all kinds of fucked up visions." she shook away the memory of Steve dying over and over again in her arms, not wanting to spiral down into that again, "But the scepter was there." she realized, sitting up a bit, "Loki's scepter."
"The one from New York?" Dawson asked, eyebrows raising.
"You mean the dude who let all those aliens into New York?" Sam asked at the same time. A reminder that Sam was still just a civilian back then. Marina had no idea what any of them were talking about. She remembered the news coverage, but only used it to her advantage to take her shot at firms and banks whose networks were down because of the attack.
"Yeah, that one." she answered both of their questions at once, pairing it with a nod.
"You sure?" both men spoke at the same time, in the same questioning tone, before looking at each other momentarily and then shifting their gaze back to Q. Again, she nodded. There wasn't much she could separate from being real or not, but the vision she was shown in Stark Tower wasn't a memory, meaning it had to have been triggered by something she saw in real life during her drugged out state.
"Steve mentioned they were looking for it." Sam casually commented, not noticing how Q's heart pulled at the mere mention of Steve. Instead of lingering on another sudden wave of longing that washed over her, she offered up a trade.
"I'll tell you the exact location of the scepter, if you promise not to tell him where we are." she bargained, lifting her chin up a bit, almost challengingly. Sam eyed her for a long moment before nodding.
"Okay." he agreed. He didn't know why he agreed. Maybe because it seemed like Steve was actually getting a bit better with handling Q's disappearance. Maybe because he wanted to save his friend the heartbreak of seeing her in her current state. Or maybe the scepter just outweighed her importance to him - that one wasn't true, he knew that much.
Tying up the rest of the story, and ending with how Sam had found her, she purposely left out the part about Bucky and Spencer. There was no reason for him to know how close he actually was to finding him, or what Q was actually doing on her adventure. Best to let him think she was just going after Hydra operatives like Nick Fury had tried to recruit him into doing a year prior.
"You know you caused a lot of pain." Sam mentioned to her as he was getting ready to leave. He had stayed for the rest of the day, making sure she was well taken care of in the house before deciding to leave. She might not be his favorite person at the moment, but with all that she had been through, he wasn't about to leave her in a place where something worse could happen. Though it seemed like she was with people who were just as worried about her as he was. She gave him a tight smile and nodded.
"I know." her voice was quiet, heavy with all the guilt she had been carrying since she left New York.
"What you did...was shitty and selfish." he continued to lay it on thick, finally getting the chance to say something to her since they were alone and she was awake and fully functional again. Again, she nodded, not having the words to defend herself. And she wasn't sure she wanted to; he was right, "He almost drove himself mad trying to find you those first few weeks. Then he was just pissed. A lot of things broke." she tried to contain her flinch at the thought of him taking his anger out on some of the things they had bought together for the Avengers floor they lived on, "Went to DC a few times actually." her interested piqued at that, knowing that Peggy was still at Sunrise. At least he was still visiting her.
"And now?" she raised her eyebrows, nervous for the answer. Sam let out a heavy sigh, hands slipping into his pockets.
"He misses you, Q. A lot more than he'd like to admit." he settled on with a small smile, "And while he might seem like he's moving on...he's still looking for you." he finished with a knowing look. And while that made her heart flutter a bit, she still took in a breath and looked off to the side for a moment before her attention returned to him,
"Just keep him safe, alright, Sam?" he hesitated before nodding, hoping to have gotten something else out of her. Awkwardly, he moved closer to give her an equally awkward hug. While they had a mutual friend in Steve and found themselves stuck in situations together, she never really got to know Sam on a one to one basis. Sure, she learned all about him when doing recon or see him when he came to the hospital to check on Steve while he was recovering, but there was a difference between learning about someone via files and learning about someone by being around them for long periods of time. Her time with Steve proved that. She wished for the day they could just hang out like two normal people. Maybe one day.
"Take care of yourself. Maybe see a real doctor, yeah?" he raised his eyebrows at her once he stepped out of the hug. She matched his expression, watching as he went for the front door, and not really agreeing cause that would never happen.
Even though she wasn't going to a hospital anytime soon, Marina set up their own personal clinic in the spacious living room. For the next few days, she was sentenced to the couch so she was in a central place where they could keep an eye on her. She had easier access to the bathroom and kitchen so she didn't have to wear herself out from walking to and from her bedroom.
Dawson, both intrigued and horrified by what she went through in the facility, wanted to run some tests on her. Blood samples were drawn by finger pricks and vitals were taken before Marina carefully (terribly) inserted an IV to flush out whatever was in her system then went into town for more bandages and antibiotics.
"How many days did you say I was gone again?" she questioned while checking out the bruising on her sides. He snorted; she made it sound like she had just gone on vacation rather than what had actually happened.
"Twelve." he repeated what he said originally. Counting backward, Q tried to figure out how many days it could've been since she had gotten her bruises. The smaller ones were already healed while the bigger ones were yellowing around the edges as they healed. It made sense that the bruises were healing already but a part of her thought that they were going a bit too quickly given their sizes.
Not to mention, the small marks against her skin from the various needle intrusions had disappeared as well and while the hangover was still lingering, it wasn't as bad as it was when she woke up at Spencer's. Maybe all she needed was a good nights' sleep.
But she hadn't really been sleeping since her return to the beach house. Spending a lot of nights awake, staring out the big living room windows and watching the ocean waves crash against the shore. The white noise should've put her right to sleep but her brain was buzzing as she tried to work through everything she had been through in the past twelve days. And for some reason, he thoughts always turned back to Steve. Sometimes she wondered if he was awake at the same time she was, missing her like she missed him. Regret colored her emotions; now more than ever did she hate herself for leaving him. A big part of her wanted to fix it.
"Hey, did anything else weird happen to you?" Dawson's voice got her attention, hearing how it was colored with confusion and a slight twinge of worry. She looked away from the living room windows, turning her body so she could face him fully without tweaking her neck. He was peering at her from over his computer station, the glow from the screens enough to illuminate his face in the otherwise dark room.
"Weird how?" she wanted clarification; plenty of weird things happened to her in the last twelve days.
"Like after Hydra. Before Sam." he waved his hand in the space between the time marks he had vocally set up. Taking in a breath, Q sat herself up a bit more so she could get a better view of her friend,
"Yeah, actually." she breathed out before telling Dawson about Spencer and Bucky. He listened with raising eyebrows, each sentence seeming to shock him even more than the last. "And the weird part is that I realized we were speaking Russian the whole time. I don't even know Russian!" she lifted her hand that didn't have an IV currently attached to it in the air and Dawson let his mouth open a bit.
"That's the weird part!?" he cried out, throwing his hands up, "Q, you literally found the dude we've been searching for." he pinched his fingers together and motioned with him at her.
"Technically he found me." she corrected, gaining an eye roll and an annoyed groan from him.
"You still interacted with him!" he shouted back, pretty much getting out of his chair in an effort to contain his reaction. "What was he like? Where is he now?" he rattled off a few questions and Q took a moment before answering,
"He was...confused." she settled on, thinking it was the best way to explain what she saw. A man who hadn't been himself for a long time and wasn't sure how to be now that he could be. "And he got spooked and disappeared. I'm not sure where he went." she frowned, remembering how Bucky melded into the crowd like the ghost story he really was.
"Well he's gotta still be in the area, right?" Dawson moved back to his computer terminal, already pulling up a location search, "We can find him before he leaves."
"I'm sure we can." she responded with a tired sigh, which got his attention, "I just...can we just take a second though?" she asked, letting her eyes meet his.
"Sure," he hesitated for a second before continuing, "I mean, if we do, we might lose him again and we're just so close, I -"
"I know, Daw, I know." she reached up to rub her forehead, feeling her headache return, "But with everything that I just went through...I need a second to recover." Again, it was enough to make him pause, momentarily forgetting about Q's ordeal. He swallowed back the lump in his throat and nodded,
"Yeah, of course, smart." he gestured to her before placing his hand on his hip, "Get your strength back up." he amended with a quick reassuring smile to her, "We'll find him again." She could tell he was disappointed with her decision; the sooner this adventure was over, the sooner he could get back to what he had left behind and try to salvage whatever was left. But she needed to take a breather. The whirlwind of the past twelve days and change had left her in a state that she needed to heal from.
"What was it that you found?" she asked, reminding him of his original question. His eyebrows rose and he crossed back to his computer station. Transferring whatever it was onto his tablet, he moved to the couch she was set up on so he could show her what was on the screen.
"This is a blood sample from your days at SHIELD, rest in peace," he added half sarcastically while showing her the first picture, "And this is your blood sample now." he swiped his finger across the screen to show her the second photo, "Whatever they did to you, it mutated your blood cells in some way."
"In what way?" she asked out, panic already rising. Dawson gave her a serious look before dropping the bomb.
"I think they injected you with some form of the super soldier serum, Q."
A/N: I saw that a few of you called this, so if you did CONGRATS! Stay tuned to see the effects it has on her lol
Honestly? I can't believe we've hit 60 chapters and almost 500 reviews - shits crazy. Thank you so much for all your support and reviews throughout this story! Keep it up please! I know this chapter was sort of a filler/catch-up chapter, but I can't wait to hear what you think about this chapter and what you think will happen in the future.
Love you all!