Chapter Twelve

Clarke leaned forward and twisted all around looking for something, "What is it?" Lexa asked quietly. "Are we alone? Where are the guards?" Clarke asked. "Oh they are around but I promised to kill the first one I saw." Lexa laughed. Clarke turned around in the saddle, it was not easy and took a number of attempts, Lexa stopped the horse and helped to lift Clarke, at first thinking she was uncomfortable and lost for words when Clarke achieved her goal. She lifted her legs so that her knees fitted over Lexa's thighs and wrapped her arms around her waist pulling herself in close.

"Continue," She instructed and Lexa clicked and tapped the horse forward, she held the reins in one hand and wrapped Clarke up in her arms, watching the road ahead over her shoulder. "Do you think they would have seen that?" Clarke asked. "I am sure they did, and I am sure they are very jealous," replied Lexa, smiling.

Clarke touched Lexa's shoulders, underneath her coat, sliding her fingers as far as they would go down the sleeves feeling for Lexa's muscles. Next she dragged her fingers across Lexa's chest, over her breasts, at which point Lexa cleared her throat, sat up a little straighter and took in a very deep breath. "Would you like me to stop?" Offered Clarke, already knowing the answer. "No," Lexa struggled for composure but knowing full well she had none.

Clarked began pulling Lexa's shirt and undershirt out from being tucked into her pants and when she had achieved that with a little wriggling help from Lexa, she tucked her fingers into the waistband of her pants and slid them from the front, around to the back and then ran her hands and fingers all over Lexa's back. Clarke began kissing Lexa's neck, kissing her, licking her skin, threatening to bite her with little nips.

When Lexa threw her head back and groaned, Clarke scratched her fingernails down Lexa's back which brought Lexa's head forward in response and Clarke was waiting, she kissed Lexa's mouth. Thoroughly. Lexa kissed her back and felt Clarke's hands move under her shirt, to the front, under her bra, cupping her breasts and squeezing her nipples. Lexa worked against her own and Clarke's obvious interest to slow the kiss, she opened her eyes and looked at Clarke and waited for her to respond.

"Clarke, you asked me for more time?" "Twice, if I recall correctly. Time's up, Lexa."

"Not necessarily, I am willing to wait." "I am no longer willing to wait."

"Are you sure?" "Lexa, I am doing my best to seduce you and you're making it very difficult. It's beginning to hurt my feelings."

"We are at the river where I had intended to rest, but if you prefer to remain riding…?"

"I am ready to rest," said Clarke. "Ok, let me help you down," Lexa jumped off the horse in a trick shot, she pushed off backwards landing on her feet directly behind and grinned back at Clarke who raised her eyebrows in recognition of the stunt. Lexa came around and reached up to Clarke, lifting her off easily and setting her down gently. She spread out the blanket quickly and helped Clarke over to it and then began to unpack her saddlebags, by the time she one that turned around she found Clarke had relieved herself of her outer clothing as was laying in the dappled sunlight in her underwear.

Lexa spread the second blanket over the top of her and dropped the packages off to one side of the blanket, she unsaddled the horse and let it wander away, knowing the guards would not let it get too far away. She kicked off her boots and lay down next to Clarke and said, "In the interest of not hurting your feelings would you like to pick up where we left off or would like to have something to eat?"

"I took off my clothes, Lexa, get yours off and get under here, immediately." Clarke growled, and Lexa hurried to follow her command. Within moments Lexa was wrapped up in Clarke's arms, the pair of them kissing touching each others' breasts and their long held desire and love for each other came spilling out. Several times.

They lay breathless, panting and sweating one on top of the other, Lexa was almost too scared to speak for fear of bursting the bubble and Clarke was too content to have anything at all to say. Lexa propped herself up on one elbow and smoothed Clarke's hair back, touching her face, pulling the blanket up under her chin. She sat up and reached for the water bottle, opened it and passed it over, Clarke took it gratefully and drank thirstily.

Lexa took that as a sign and began opening parcels of fruit, cheeses, meats, pastries and sweets. There was also a bottle containing sweet tea that Clarke had shown a preference for and the bottle was designed to keep the liquid warm, Lexa laid it by Clarke for her easy access. Clarke pulled herself into a sitting position, pulled the blanket around her shoulders and began picking hungrily at the various food options and Lexa watched her happily.

"I am very happy, Clarke, but I am also very unsure. You usually have so much to say, and today, on an important occasion, very little." Lexa began. Clarke glanced at Lexa, and continued eating, finally she said, "Did I sound happy, just now, ten minutes ago?" "yes." "Then why should you be worried? I am not screaming that I hate you, nor holding a knife to your throat nor wishing I was dead."

"Did you Clarke?" Lexa asked in a quiet voice. "Oh yes, hundreds and hundreds of times, but it doesn't bear thinking of now." "What does bear thinking of?" asked Lexa. Clarke continued eating, like she had worked up an appetite, she looked at Lexa several times and put a piece of meat on a piece of cheese and it on it.

"When we kissed the first time, all those months ago and I told you I wasn't ready, I was very attached to you by then. I had only been with Finn and well, you know how that went. It was too soon. The way we worked together preparing for Mount Weather made me feel like, perhaps I was ready but then, well we know how that turned out. And then the kidnapping, I thought I was so full of hate and rage but I wasn't, I was hurt, worse than I ever been hurt and worse than I ever thought possible. And I realise now that is because I love you to that same depth. With all its hopes, fears, vulnerabilities." Clarke shrugged and flicked her eyes over Lexa again who was looking down, quietly listening, picking at her fingernails.

"Then I knew the right thing to do was to kneel before you at the Summit and that cost me dearly," Clarke touched her hand to her heart. "Finally I thought I was going to lose you to Prince Roan's mighty sword. I just had no choice but to give it all up, the rage, the anger, the hate, the revenge and I think that was really all that was holding me together at that point," Clarke laughed. "No wonder I became so ill."

Lexa watched Clarke as she moved on to the ripping apart of a pastry and eating the sweet gooey mess inside, she felt terrible but she also felt inspired. She had regretted her decision to abandon Clarke and her people at Mount Weather, not immediately but within a very short space of time, within an hour or so, she was half willing to turn back. But the cost for Heda was not worth thinking about, so she pushed on.

Her choices had cost Clarke so much, yet here she was, pushing on. Not asking for reassurances, how could she believe any that were offered anyway? And Lexa now had everything she had wanted; Heda, peace and Clarke, who had just admitted to loving her with great intensity. No Lexa didn't have the right to ask for reassurance from Clarke, she was going to have to show some fortitude, just as Clarke was showing, be the best person she could and hopefully, one day, be worthy of this amazing, courageous and beautiful woman.

When Clarke had eaten all she wanted, she took her tea and laid back and watched Lexa begin picking at some of the food Clarke had left. Clarke felt sure that this was the right course of action, certainly a very very pleasurable one, at any rate. Clarke could no longer live in the past and couldn't trust in any future, she had only the present. And with such a lover as Lexa, the present was proving to be very satisfying.