Supergirl landed at the DEO's balcony dusting herself off after another successful day.
She walked in giving a mission debrief to J'onn before reaching her sister.
"Hey" she called "we might need to keep an eye on that downtown operation"
Alex absently nodded "Sure, I'll get word out" she kept on scrolling through documents without paying much attention
"Um, Alex?" Kara called "Hey, something wrong?"
"I…I just have a lot on my mind" she tried to explain avoiding her gaze.
"Maggie?" she asked softly.
"No, not this time. I think that is a chapter that I won't have to open again"
"That's great to hear" Kara beamed.
"Yeah, it is" she smiled faintly before breathing unevenly.
"Ok, then, what's troubling you?"
"Can we talk somewhere private?"
Kara frowned in confusion "Of course, I don't have to go to work right now" she went to the balcony waiting for her sister "what is it, Alex?"
The older Danvers sighed "I-I don't know how to express this but…" she looked for her eyes "I…don't want to lie to Lena any longer"
Kara raised a brow "I don't get it, what did you told her?"
"It's…what we haven't told her, Supergirl"
Kara's eyes widened "My identity?"
Alex averted her eyes "I know I must sound so hypocrite or incongruent or whatever but…" she leaned into the rail looking down "I…I am…I am building trust and she's been so close lately and I need to be honest, otherwise it just looks like I have been taking advantage of her and her status and everything else instead of an actual connection…" she exhaled "and I can't believe you have been going through this for so long now" she admitted "it truly sucks more than I gave it credit for…I'm sorry, Kara"
The Super remembered to breathe again as she allowed the shock to run through her system "Alex that's…a lot" she swallowed "Thank you" she nodded looking at her "for acknowledging that, it has…really been a struggle to have a friendship based solely on lies"
"It didn't started off as that and there's so much more you share together beyond being a Super and a Luthor, but…I can imagine" Alex answered with little voice feeling guilt and remorse flood her entrains..
Kara leaned into the rail again "Lena and I are…not in a great place regarding the cape and boots right now. I'm afraid that when the line between Kara Zor-El and Kara Danvers blurs the apathy she has towards one alter ego will overcome the affection for the other. I really don't know how we can see eye to eye regarding National City while being in opposite sides of almost every argument" she said "But I'm guessing you've heard that from her, I'm sure I must have been a topic of discussion among you, I can't really blame either for it" she commented exhaling tiredly before gazing upon the other Danvers "Why didn't you told me you felt second best next to me?"
Alex shrunk her shoulders "It's really nothing to do with you; it's my own feelings, Kara. You didn't do anything wrong"
"You are talking like a field agent, but I'm asking as your sister"
Alex sighed "Kara you are an alien, one of the strongest beings alive, cousin to Superman. You can fly, catch bullets, fire lasers and I'm…I'm human, How can I compete?"
"It wasn't meant to be a competition"
"I know, it's just…almost impossible not to try and draw comparisons" she tried to explain "Lena felt the same way with Lex and that helped me realize the similarities we share"
Kara stood silent for a moment "I've wanted to tell Lena for so long" she mumbled "but right now I don't even know how could I" she confessed, her voice breaking "She's going to hate me for it, just like Lilian said"
Alex extended her arms and shielded her in a hug "It's ok, Kara" she cooed stroking her hair softly.
"I don't want to lose her, Alex" she chocked against her shoulder and Alex could do nothing but quietly mumble.
"Neither do I"
Alex rubbed her sweaty palms against her jeans trying to ease up to no avail. She was on the waiting room ready to be called in any minute, a world of infinite possibilities awaited for her on the other side of that door. The promise of a new future, the far away dream of being a mother was suddenly materializing and she couldn't shake off the tingling feeling in her stomach and toes.
"Miss Danvers?" the secretariat called for her but Alex was glued to her place, it was not until a hand grabbed her by the arm to help her stand that she even breathed in again.
"We are here" Lena said walking towards keeping her soft grip around the DEO agent.
"Doctor Eriksen is ready to see you"
"Thank you" Lena said while Alex only nodded as a reflex while they reached the threshold.
Lena was reaching to open the door when Alex suddenly grabbed her hand to prevent it "Wait!" she pleaded leaving the Luthor confused.
"What is it Alex? Are you having second thoughts?"
"No" Alex shook determined "I do want this, it's just…" she swallowed hard. How could she tell her she felt like a leech taking so much out of their relationship while only giving back half-truths?
"Well, whatever it is, I'm sure we can talk it later?" Lena raised a brow "I'm afraid the doctor's schedule is even tighter than mine, so shall we?" she squeezed back her hand in a comforting matter before actually reaching for the doorknob.
"Ah" the Doctor stood up to receive them "Miss Luthor" he stretched out his hand "It's nice to see you again" he greeted sincerely "and would this be your partner?"
"My friend, doctor" she was quick to correct without missing a beat, her face unfazed, the smile not faltering.
The man offered an apologetic gesture in return "Pardon. You must be Miss Danvers" he shook hands with the red head.
"Y-yes, thank you for having us- me"
"It's a pleasure" he assured offering them a seat "So, Miss Danvers, I am to understand from what Miss Luthor has told me that you want to have kids?"
"I want to know if that's viable" she shrugged; she hadn't felt that small in a doctor's office since high school.
"We can find an answer to that" he nodded "I checked beforehand the family records you sent us, now I'll ask some questions to have a full profile and then we can proceed" he opened a file in his computer and just as he was about to make the first question he stopped himself looking their way "I'm terribly sorry, Miss Luthor, but perhaps you could wait outside?" he asked.
Alex blinked aback, surprised "Why?"
Lena knew the reason before the man could even say it "Because that's your medical file and he's about to ask you some personal questions that I have no business hearing" she held a tight smile with no malice "Isn't that right?"
"Indeed" he tilted his head looking yet again sheepish "Parents and partners are at best case scenario the only exception"
Lena nodded "I'll see you afterwards" she pressed her shoulder before taking her leave, but Alex couldn't take her eyes off of her until she had disappeared behind the door.
"Couldn't she stay?"
"Some patients withdraw important information if others are there to hear, between us we have confidentiality" he explained calmly but Alex couldn't help but to feel like yet again she was using Lena just for the Luthor to be dismissed once her goals were achieved.
Alex held the open envelope in hands while sitting in the comfort of her house. She was absently gazing at the horizon as the information sink in.
"I'm viable" she said out loud and upon hearing herself, the words became real "I can have a kid" she said as her left hand held a list of possible donors and another appointment scheduled. She stood up in a jolt hitting the coffee table and knocking stuff down, but she didn't care at all, she was ecstatic.
"Is everything alright?" Lena rushed back after hearing the commotion, thinking that perhaps the news had been upsetting and the sudden embrace that she received upon arriving didn't clue her in, not until Alex heartedly spoke, her voice cracked in a mix of emotionality and happiness.
"I can get pregnant" she finally announced and Lena's heart swelled with relief.
"That's wonderful" she finally relaxed, melting into the hug "Are you telling your family now?"
Alex felt like saying 'I just did', but the sudden realization panicked her as she held her tongue by quite literally biting it down before answering "I think once I've gotten through the list of donors I will" she decided.
"Full disclosure, I did mentioned to Kara about this little research before telling you" Lena chuckled trying not to feel as nervous as she was while slipping from the hug but Alex just shrugged.
"Truth be told, Eliza is the one that worries me" the Agent admitted "I'll have to work a plan to pay for everything, so she might be able to help me organize"
"Oh" Lena's mouth hanged opened aback for a brief instant "I am covering all expenses" she said as if thought it was a matter of fact.
Alex's eyes widened "Lena, no. You have already helped me plenty"
"I want to see this through; I am more than happy to provide the resources"
"This isn't like one of L-Corps projects" Alex began but upon seeing Lena's reaction she knew it had come out wrong.
"I-I understand this is something private, I didn't mean to pry, I was-"
"No, no, hey" Alex reached for her forearms trying to ease her up "It's not like that, what I meant is…" she sighed "I don't want to keep demanding so much out of you. It feels like I'm taking advantage of your name. We are friends; you don't have to repay anything" she emphasized delicately but what Lena said next was something she could never prepare for.
"Alex…you are the first person that I don't' feel like is getting something out of me for who I am" she mumbled, her tone carried a bit of hurt and shame as she knew who Alex was thinking about "Kara is amazing, I love her dearly but when she walks into my office I don't know if she's there to have lunch or get a story" there was a bitter taste in her mouth as she said that, she hated to feel that way, but it was what she truly thought "When it comes to you, not once have you asked for anything or expected to gain something out of my company" she looked away "you worried that a random man had thrown wine at me, you made me spar to make sure it wouldn't happen again, you helped me with a prototype, you talked back on the gala to stand up for me" she smiled sincerely "I know you didn't trust me at first, it comes with the name but…the fact that you stayed around and figured out by yourself who I am outside of my family…that means more than I can possibly express"
Alex was at a sudden loss for words. The other woman had opened up to really say her bearings and now Alex couldn't tie two thought together to reply. She had begged the Luthor to let her barriers down to be there for her as well and this was the result. Lena had trusted her to let her see the broken pieces.
"I don't know what you must think of me right now, but I assure you-" Lena began but was cut off by a powerful embrace that knocked the wind and all the insecurities out of her.
"I see you" was the first thing that came out of the Alex's mouth "Not the CEO, nor the owner of CatCo or the last Luthor Standing… I see a woman who is passionate, strong and vulnerable. I see someone I want to keep in my life. I have gotten to know you Lena and I would love to keep discovering more" she said earnestly feeling her heart hammering down on her chest as she realized just how much her own words meant to her. She wanted what they had built thus far. She wanted to have someone on the couch next to her talking robotics, a person who challenged her wits, her remarks, her ideas. She yearned for someone to share life experiences with, a person she could talk to about everything and nothing at all without feeling like she needed to put up a facade. She wanted the Luthor in her life. She wanted Lena.
Alex was only brought back to reality when she felt soft hands pressed against her back.
"I want to keep you in my life as well" was the answer Lena provided before putting some distance between the two "Perhaps that's why I keep pushing on the subject, I fear that the moment we have nothing to tie us together we'll drift apart" she said with a low huff mocking herself "but I understand if you want to continue this process alone"
"No!" she reached for her hand before realizing how sweaty her palms were, so she let go the moment after "I meant my words too, throughout the rollercoaster that my life has been these last few weeks you have been there and it might not look like it right now but I'm scared beyond compared of what is to come and…and having you by my side would make me feel…safe" she said in an unusual display of sincerity. She seemed to be able to open up to her about her fears and hopes.
Lena smiled "And I will gladly be right there through the whole process" she gazed at her softly "But I think right now you have some decisions to make" she pointed at the envelope "chose wisely"
Alex chuckled while feeling there was not enough air in the world to fill her lungs when it came to looking at her emerald eyes, but she pushed the thought aside fidgeting with her hands "Um, there's one…one more thing I would like to consider before going through my pregnancy"
Lena raised a brow in confusion "You want a second opinion?"
"No" she swallowed "I- I want to visit the orphanage" the Agent stated "Can you come with me?"