It's been 84 years...
That movie came out ages ago jesus Christ im getting old
but danzy, where's lucifer or last guardian - SHHSHS I'm working on it okay. It's long and thick like my list of enemies mwahaha. or my thesis.
I want to write but there's this thesis that keeps kicking my ass. It's like a bat but instead of blood it's sucking my writing inspiration and my will to live
I'm just joking. I haven't written a will yet and at this rate I don't think I'll ever have the chance to
tl;dr: thesis bad, me cry, update slow
Everyday Life with Supernatural Girls
Chapter X
||Eve - Pt. 1||
"You need a bigger house." Was Azazel's wise counsel after finally realizing Issei slept on the couch due to the call of duty and not because he wanted to. "An extra bedroom, at least."
"Or a bigger couch." Issei said dryly, sipping his coffee. No milk or cream this time. He wanted to be extra sober for today as it was Sunday 24th of December, notoriously known as Christmas Eve, or Hell on Earth Day for single, independent, brave souls like him who just couldn't get a woman.
He couldn't wait to experience the joy from seeing couples all over the place and celebrate his twenty-first Christmas without a significant other.
Also, because it was early morning. Early mornings were the time when Yasaka arranged breakfast, which meant more of those heavenly furs springing up and down whenever and wherever she walks, and accompanied with her delightful humming tune as she does her own thing. A peaceful spectacle in preparation for the coming battle against the jealousy towards couples in general.
"Could've told me earlier you know." Azazel replied. "I could had set something up for you. A bedroom in particular."
That raised an eyebrow. A mildly irritated one. "Really? You can do that?"
"'Course I can. It's all there in the manual. Somewhere. A line at least. Should be obvious."
Issei scowled. "I thought I just have to make do."
Azazel gave a weightless shrug. It was as if it was Issei's fault for not reading the entire thing. "Well you will have to eventually, but during the whole 'getting used to' thing, you can be pretty lenient."
The Overseer leaned against his stool. "The whole homestay program concerns both you and the homestays. One of my unending list of priorities, is making sure both are living comfortably. Not luxuriously, mind you. Don't expect me to build a four-floored mansion with three basement floors and an indoor swimming pool, a spa, and a gym. That's just ridiculous."
The image stuck with him. Only for a fleeting moment because he was a commoner and couldn't imagine being filthy rich. While it would be nice having a giant mansion, cleaning it wouldn't be as nice.
"I don't need a mansion," Don't jinx it Issei. "just a bed and I'll be set for a year."
"A man of simple needs but refined taste I see." Azazel sneered and raised his eyebrows multiple times. Issei gave an 'of course I do.' look. "But see here... You have what... three...? No, four people with you already. Two is uncommon enough, three is rare and in most cases they're related, but four? I thought you would do with two but no. You have to hog them all."
He wasn't sure if that was a notable achievement. All he seemed to be doing at the moment was working for his own money and occasionally delivering burgers to Kunou while being taken care by Yasaka.
"I'm not trying to compensate for my lack of girlfriends alright."
Azazel snorted and grinned cheekily. "You convince yourself that. Anyway, it won't take long to get the 'go nuts' from the wealthy funders. The workers should be here at noon and maybe sooner since I'm so good at what I'm doing."
"Bossing people around?"
"Precisely." Azazel ignored his jab. "And since you'd be at work..."
He panned towards the cook, who was watching the three chunks of fish on the broiler rack. The crisp smell alone made his stomach stir. One for her daughter, one for Issei, and one for their loyal uninvited customer who showed up anyway. As for the two Nekoshous, she would cook for them later on as it was still a couple of hours before either of them wakes up.
"Missus, you won't mind watching a couple of Devils will you?"
Yasaka didn't hear, but it was fine because it was not the first time Azazel was unheard by a woman he reached for.
"Devils...?" Issei was... not entirely sure how to react. Mildly complicated, rather. How should he be reacting, was the question. It's common knowledge Devil is bad -the word 'evil' is in the name of their race-, but it was also common knowledge that Supernatural were simply superstition; old tales of urban legends old people tell to spook their grandchildren so they wouldn't dare playing outside after the sun had set and look at them now. Actual living beings.
"You heard that right. Devils. The goons in Hell." Azazel confirmed. "And before you ask; no. They don't carry large red pitchforks, and they do not have horns. Well. Some does. They're basically royals. Nobles. Snooty more often than not. They do have riches that can last through seven generations and possibly more. That's why they're the main funder for the entire program while me and my people ended up being the corporate slaves."
After a short round of ironic laughter, the conversation took a brief pause as Issei wondered how many Supernaturals he hadn't known or discovered were still out there. But then he was flicked by the mention of that place.
"The goons in Hell?"
"Yeah. Hell."
"What do you mean 'Hell'? Or is it only random place. Like 'somewhere in Norway' kind of Hell."
"Literal Hell, you joker. The place you thought to be a place where bad guys get poked by even badder guys – which, shouldn't that make them the good guys? They're basically the torturer for... for God, really."
Issei considered his words. He didn't want to be short-minded, and he considered himself as an open-minded person. But it was that exact 'openness' which forced him to pick what idea is rubbish and which is worth keeping or believing.
"Well... they're more known to do bad stuff than singing choirs or... or helping old people cross the street."
"Maybe not, but that's because they have no old people down there."
"They can ship some from Earth."
"Yeah I don't think they would. If they want to look at loose, wrinkly skins, they have raisins."
Issei went along and nodded. "So they're not bad."
"They did some pretty bad stuff... and probably the entire thing written in the bible or other holy scriptures— but it's in the past. Why bother with the past. Let the historian and archeologist handle it with their dinosaur brush. They are funding this entire thing for nothing and they are the ones who are paying me. Even if they're bad, they're good people in my eyes."
"I guess they'll have to update the bibles then." The redeemed Devils. He liked the sound of that. He always enjoyed movies where the baddies turned into goodies. Or the other way around; he enjoyed variety.
"Ahhh screw it. It'll never get done. It'll probably ends up being some historical scriptures some time later."
Hopefully. It was about time where people get along and stop throwing stuffs at other because they're different. It's the goddamn 21st century, not the dark age.
"What about Hell? Did they get it wrong too?"
"Initially, no. It's as it was printed to be. But now, not so much. Obviously there's still chunks of it still looking exactly as you imagined- filled with molten rocks and... all terrible, jaggedy things. But the place where the Devils and my people live in -the Underworld- is essentially one giant resort. And tell you what, when all of this is cooling off, I think it's gonna be a major tourist destination."
"And let me tell you this..." Azazel leaned towards him, close enough that their shoulders touched. "the women? One look is never enough."
That started a spark in him.
"And what's better than that? Because of their low fertility rate, they allow multiple-spouses."
"Why the hell am I here then." Issei had never imagined he would be wishing to go straight to Hell. Now that he thought of it, isn't Heaven is where all of the chaste people are? He should remind himself to tell his two friends to go to Heaven from now on so they can be eternal celibates.
"Let's get back to the main topic; your home improvement." And what a coincidence, Yasaka was just about to serve her set of dishes; a serving of broiled mackerel, a bowl of miso soup with tofu, and a bowl of rice that was steamed together with kombu kelp for the added savory flavor. Nothing extravagant in appearance but more in the taste. "Actually that can wait."
Issei wanted to say something smart. Something snarky. But he had an empty stomach too, and his sight and sense of smell could only resist the temptation so far. Extending the wait would be a form of self-torture.
So on the dining table they sat. Issei next to the famished Azazel, and Yasaka next to air. They said their graces, which was very quick, and relished in Yasaka's home cooking.
"Oh goodness—this is brilliant. That volatile British chef has to try your food at least once." Azazel said, before promptly stuffing his mouth with more rice.
Despite not knowing the famous chef as her knowledge of the world was understandably limited, Yasaka simply smiled and said a humble thanks.
"I want to see him singing with Simon Cowell as judge."
Azazel flailed his pointer finger at Issei as if he had discovered a major breakthrough. "And the British guy can then cook for the other Brit! It's brilliant! They'll tear each other off."
It took Azazel a few more stuffing before he realized a chair was empty and that it was quieter than usual. "Where's your kid?"
"She stayed up late last night," Yasaka sighed, frowning slightly. Just slightly because she was not a pouty woman. "she watched a scary movie last night."
"Oh?" Azazel raised a single eyebrow. "Shouldn't they be playing one of those wholesome, miraculous, 'family is the best' Christmas movies?"
"If they did, we'd be sleeping last night."
"Good point." The Overseer agreed. "What's the movie about anyway."
"It's the one where a girl creeps out of the TV." Just rewinding the entire memory inside his head made his grin grew wider and dumber. "It was fun."
"Ohoo~? Fun family Friday times huh?" As he nudged at Issei with a fitting grin, Azazel noticed the uneasy look latching on Yasaka's face. "...What? What did I miss."
"A lot of screaming."
He had imagined it a few times. It was nighttime, dark outside, and he would be watching a horror movie with his 'significant others' or 'special someone' or whatever terms those normies came up with, but he'd just stick with 'girlfriend'. Said girl would then latch onto him whenever a cheap but effective jumpscare pops out, or held onto him as the music builds up, and he'd be all romantic and slightly nervous when he incidentally felt something plump and soft pressing up onto him.
It might qualify as a 'loser' kind of thing to imagine all of the above and wanting all of it to come true, but he just couldn't help for imagining scenarios that might never happen. It just happens.
Alas, real life was stranger than fiction indeed. He couldn't tell which was weirder, really, with everything that had been happening to him in the past month, or tonight.
"What're ya watchin' nyan?" She said to him. Kuroka was about to head upstairs with Shirone, having finished lying about after dinner. Both were in their pajamas – as they had always been during their stay because winter and snow is apparently cold.
"The Ring. It's about an urban legend. I think."
"What urban legend."
"I..." Issei paused, considering his words. "I don't know, but she crawls out of TVs."
"Doesn't she have anything better to do."
"She has an unhealthy problem with her grudge."
"To TV owners?"
Issei shrugged.
The introduction scene played on the screen, briefly flaunting a bunch of names he wasn't familiar with. He wasn't that huge of a movie junkie who'd remember all of these names. He couldn't even remember his ancestors' name and they made him.
"Is it scary?"
"I think that's the general idea for a horror movie." Issei replied, and Kuroka did not appreciate his dry reply. Alas, not all people appreciate dry or sarcastic humor. "I don't know. I'm not planning to watch it. I'm planning to fall asleep some time later."
She then sported an expression as if she was accepting a challenge. "Still pretty early to sleep I guess." It was 8pm at the time, and she did take naps between naps. Issei would imagine she had a healthy reserve of energy. "Guess I'll stay with you nyan~"
He couldn't lie; that single sentence made him overtly conscious of her and ruined his mojo. Never once he expected that line to be said to him, no matter what context. More so when she leapt onto the couch and scooted next to him - her soapy, feminine scent scattering his focus even more. Good god was this because of him being girlfriendless?
"C'mere Shiro-nyan."
Naturally, Shirone tagged along despite not showing as much interest in being spooked as going to sleep. She got up to the couch and sat in front of her sister, who then latched her hands on her like a seatbelt as Shirone leaned back. Kuroka grabbed a blanket he wasn't using, and covered her and her sister.
Them huddling had become an everyday thing; whenever he came home, the two would be on the couch watching shows before dinner, or sleeping in their room. Thinking about having her Kurokas as headrest was an everyday thing too, only more inevitable despite he kept trying to push the thought away to the back of his mind. It kept popping up like a random boner.
To set the immersion, Kuroka turned off the lights. Telepathically, because she could and she liked to show off.
He thought she did it to make him jumpier, in all honesty. She was a crafty woman and it granted him all the rights to be suspicious of whatever she was planning to do.
With everything set and them sat, the movie played.
As were most horror movies, the introduction had a brief scene to show what scares to expect, with all of the high-pitched music and noises before cutting to the actual start of the movie. He thought it was a cheap trick to get the audience interested, but whatever works he supposed. It certainly gained the older Nekoshou's attention from the get-go.
"Neesama... you're holding me too tight."
She usually paid attention whenever her sister spoke due to how quiet her voice was. Not this time. Kuroka's amber eyes were wide open and she seemingly shrunk to hide behind Shirone's head. Even Issei could see how tense she was. Her two black tails were puffed up and bristled-looking too, as if they weren't tempting enough for him.
"...Neesama."
"Hmm?!" Her voice hitched, startled. "O-oh right... yeah."
Neither Katase or Murayama was a big fan of horror either. He recalled watching a movie in his classroom with all of his classmates - a reward by their English teacher for passing his test, and those two would scream the loudest and cling to each other.
Knowing the M&M's and their wicked schemes, those bastards must had taken full advantage.
As the movie went on and the protagonist became more and more paranoid of her surroundings and dark corners-as did Kuroka-, Kunou peeked out from her bedroom. This too, was an everyday occasion. She was attracted to noises like ants to sugary foods.
"What'cha watchin'?"
Kuroka jolted.
"A horror movie." Issei said, just then noticing the Kunou. "I don't think your mother's going to let you watch this, Kunou."
"That means it's awesome. Kunou's watching it."
"You'll get scared."
"Yay!"
Ignoring Issei's voice of reason, she scuttled towards the group. After silently staring at Shirone and Kuroka, she decided make it a competition and sat in front of Issei's lap. Issei didn't mind because he couldn't if he tried to. She had to curl her tail forward, elsewise it would be squished between her back and his stomach. Not that he'd mind, but she would.
"Think you can handle it pipsqueak?" Kuroka teasingly said, complete with a smug look.
"Kunou isn't a pipsqueak."
"You're one to talk." Issei muttered. Shirone agreed mutedly. The most she did was wincing or suddenly gripping her sister's arms, which were already squeezing her whenever a jumpscare jumped.
"Are you saying I'm scared nyan?"
"You're a scaredy cat Neesama."
Issei didn't laugh. He wanted to, but he didn't. Kunou laughed though. "Haha, scaredy cat."
"Horror movies are stupid." Skulked Kuroka. "Why would someone pay to get scared?"
"People have paid for weirder things. You don't have to watch it if you don't want to, you know." Issei said, in the most uncondescending way he could possibly manage. He didn't want to be rude. "It's getting late too – which is why you should be sleeping Kunou."
"Sleeping is boring."
"That's why you dream." Issei countered. That got the Kitsune thinking deeply.
"Ugh- I can't stop." Kuroka disgruntledly admitted, though her tone made it sound more of a complaint. "It's like spicy food for the eyes nyan. It's stupid. It's frustrating and stupid."
Pouting, Kuroka rested her head on top of her sister's, somehow fitting between the ears. The sulkiness didn't last long as the lady with the black-hair was crawling on all fours with her head twisted upside down. Not a healthy posture if you ask Issei.
"AAHHHHH! WHY IS SHE WALKING LIKE THAT?! THAT IS NOT HOW LIMBS WORK."
Kuroka's frightened shriek drowned Kunou's merry laughter and lambasted Issei's sense of fear.
"Hehe... She's ugly."
"Well that's not nice." Issei became mildly concerned. Kunou might grew up into a bully.
"Why is her eyes big? She walks weird. She's weird and ugly."
"She's an evil spirit Kunou."
"Evil spirits are weird. And ugly."
This girl is going to break hearts. "Just don't say that to other people, alright?"
"What about evil spirits? She's an evil spirit. Evil spirits aren't people."
"Well..." Another jumpscare, another scream, but Issei was too rooted at the question. Now that he knew evil spirits might exist as well, what would he do if he came across one? They might have feelings too, and screaming and then running away didn't seem to be the right first impression.
"Kuroka-nee," 'Kuroka-nee'. She insisted him to call her with that. "does evil spirit exist?"
Kuroka stared at him as if he asked her to grow another pair of ears. "How should I know?"
"But it's an urban legend. Aren't you one yourself?"
"I am?"
"Don't look at me, I'm a human."
"Well, Mr. Human, there's hundreds of them." Kuroka fumed. "Some of it must have been made up nyan. And what was someone who made this, this... thing thinking? Why didn't he make it so this girl went straight for whoever she's going? Why did she have to play around with these people like that? Whoever made her legend needs a psychiatrist."
"For the plot." Shirone straightforwardly answered.
"She's right you know." Issei backed her up. "If the movie goes your way it'll be over in ten minutes."
"Well good! Why would anyone sit and be paranoid for 90 minutes?!"
"You're still here."
Kuroka whacked the side of his head with her tail. "Shut up wise guy."
The movie went on.
And finally, after another of Kuroka's shriek and whining and complaining, curiosity and worry got the better of Yasaka.
"Why is she screaming? Are you alright Kuroka-san?" Asked she who peered out the door. The genuineness in her eyes hurt so much for a sinner like him.
"I'm fine." Kuroka grumbled. "I'm fine. I'm perfectly fine nyan. I dunno why you ask."
"I... see." Unlike Issei who would try to see how far he could get before she snaps, Yasaka wisely dropped the matter. She stepped out from her bedroom. "Kunou, dear, you should be sleeping."
"Just this episode pleaaase!"
"It's a movie, Kunou. It doesn't have an episode."
"Awww... but how did mom know? Did Niitan tell you that...?"
Yasaka blushed. It was cute. "Yes."
Kunou shot a dirty look at him. "Traitor."
Issei nodded proudly. He was a dirty traitor for telling her mother of her daughter's craftiness exploiting her lack of technological knowledge and he was proud of it.
She was in a rather fine mood that night – she always was -, and for once, Yasaka didn't yank Kunou off. "Fine but just this time for this week."
"Deal!" Kunou happily cheered. "Why don't mommy join us too? The movie has weird people."
"Weird people?"
Another jumpscare hit, but this time, Kuroka wasn't the only one screaming.
"Hah! Mom's a scaredy cat too!"
"I see." As fervent red blush splayed on the Kyuubi's cheeks, the grin infected Azazel's face. Now there were two dumbly grinning people at the dining table. "D'aww... it's alright Missus. It's a horror movie. It's only doing its job at getting people scared and scream. Just like that girl under your bed."
The color on her face drained instantly. "Azazel-san..."
"I'm just kidding... she's standing right behind you."
"Azazel-san!"
"She has red eyes."
"You're a bully." Issei commented. While adorable, Yasaka looked as if she was about to cry. "Bullies shouldn't get free breakfast."
"Ahaha- oh you and your jokes..." Azazel looked at Yasaka, and his smile quickly disappeared. "I'm sorry please don't take away my meals."
Break
For once, Issei was looking forward for this year's Christmas. Him not having to spend a dime for a trip back home to stay with his family or the M&M's would be one among his reasons. He meant no ill will to his parents or his best friends, but the most 'Christmas-y' thing they ever did together was saying 'Merry Christmas' to one another and their neighbors and then go eat out at a fancy restaurant with the highest discounts, or buying a new 'questionable' game for his friends' cases.
The other reason was a more monetary reason. No train ticket meant saved money. Saved money meant more buyable stuffs. Considering he had more individuals to appease with gifts, every single yen counts. And lastly, actually having someone to spend Christmas together that wasn't related to him would be quite a welcome change.
It was the driving force that convinced him to take extra hours at Christmas Eve, something that Kuroka didn't know of.
"Hee~? You have to work today? Did your girlfriend say anything about it? Oh whoops~"
He did get a send-off, but not like this.
Issei had spent half of the day standing behind the counter. Watching the falling snow outside as customers waddled inside, patiently serving couples who for some reason decided to spend their afternoon of a Christmas Eve in a fast food restaurant.
He shouldn't judge them. It's not nice to judge a person, more so when it's your customer. Perhaps they had budget cuts. Perhaps this was the closest place to go to, or they just so liked the menu so much that it was a meal worthy for Christmas Eve. But really, in his most genuine honesty, he couldn't bring himself to care.
Normies begone.
Kiba too. That damned bishie didn't' show up. Probably spending it with his sister. Damn him. Not sincerely, but damn him.
All he wanted – desperately wanted – was to come back home. This would be his first Christmas Eve where he wouldn't spend it with his family or his friends, where him and the M&M duo would then wallow in self-pity for not having a girlfriend after a discussion regarding the top ten hot anime babes. Those two idiots now had one for each. Good for them, but screw them sideways.
How dare they leave him in the dust.
And why was it him who was left in the dust?
Right. He was their de facto leader. The face of the notorious Perverted Trio.
Goddammit. Damn him and his rampaging teenage hormones.
But none of those things mattered. At least not as much. He was to spend the eve and the Christmas with a beautiful and kind lady with astounding set of tails, her daughter with also an astounding tail, an adorable and surprisingly affectionate though a bit 'mini' girl, and her sister who had discovered her newfound passion in stirring troubles for him and pushing his sanity off the ledge.
For the love of all that is holy, that girl was the complete opposite of Shirone in the same thing in many ways. And he wasn't talking about her physical being only – as appeasing as she was to behold.
No. Picture this, in afternoons, Shirone would often doze off on the couch if she wasn't looking for Kunou. She would curl up in a blanket and sleep silently. She was gloriously adorable, that was unquestionable.
Her sister on the other hand, did the same thing but without blanket and with only a sweater that would be lifted up by her hand moving in her sleep, sprawled all over the place, thus revealing her pearly white, flat stomach, and oftentimes a generous amount of flesh of her Kurokas. To make matters worse, she seemed to be doing it intentionally. She had always woken up when he was going to put something to cover her with, only for him to be called a pervert and be sent a smug smile.
Any other condition then praise be the Lord Almighty, but he wasn't living alone, and he wasn't a renowned pervert. He had an actual image to maintain unlike back in his darker days.
Now that he thought of it, it was strangely simpler when he was infamous. He didn't have to put up with all the teasing and instead simply embrace it with open arms. He didn't have to think too complicated since his reputation was at its lowest anyway.
Right. As if. Him and his two friends swore to become a better man, here at this very fast food restaurant. A pervert he was; he was not a man without honor, and an honorable man stays true to his word, and so shall he.
"Ise, bring these to the girl over there."
But first, he should do his job.
"On it." He picked up the brown tray containing the orders; a cup of hot steaming instant chocolate and buttermilk waffle topped with vanilla ice cream and chocolate syrup.
He glanced around the moderately filled tables, and came to the realization that his manager did a marvelous job in descripting the customer. "Which girl? That girl over there? Or that girl over there."
"The one wearing a jacket." The manager said as he stared at his clipboard, possibly still mulling who's going to work at Christmas.
"So all of them." Strangely enough. It wasn't shivery cold inside. Then again, both Kuroka and Shirone wore long-sleeved shirt and saggy sweat pants.
"It's that one with the ponytail." The manager nudged him to the direction, as it was impolite to point finger. Before Issei could point out there were four girls who had their hair in ponytail, he continued, "At the sofa. The huge orange ribbon."
Yes. Orange. Not reddish orange.
So to the table he strutted along with his tray. The orange ribbon certainly made it easier to find her. Her was long too. Very long that it took the spot next to her. She was alone, and was looking out the window right next to her.
Eating alone at a fast food restaurant when it was Christmas Eve? What was she, a girl version of him? What a loser. She should date him so they could be losers together.
"Here's your order," he said, casually but polite as he settled the serving dish on the table, "enjoy the food."
"Thank you."
Say what you will but that was the nicest smile he had so far, and that smile made him return to the counter smiling to himself. Her being pretty was a welcome bonus. He must had been serving another customer when she showed up, because Issei would not forget a face like hers.
"Pretty eh?"
"Thanks, but I'm not into old man."
"Not you; the lassie." The middle-aged manager continued sagaciously, and in an odd accent. "The new addition in town, pardner. Her family just got settled at the local shrine 'bout a week ago."
His knowledge raised an eyebrow. Pardner too. He must had been watching some western movie dubbed in Japanese. Or Japanese western movie if there was any. There must be one. His country is a weird country.
"How do you know?"
"This town ain't big enough for me to miss stuffs."
Issei and a few other workers looked at him all weird.
The manager blushed, and returned to his clipboard to play it coll. "Housewives know a lot of things, even those you didn't think they'd know."
Considering his mother knew where he had hidden his stash, Issei could support that statement. Offhandedly, he glanced at the girl again as she cheerily ate her dessert. She certainly had a brighter mood compared to him when he ate out alone.
Speaking of which, when was the last time he ate out alone since he came to this town? When was the last time he ate out?
Just as his thoughts began to stray, the band of the new batch of workers arrived. There was much joy among the employees.
"Alright, cavalry's here. Shifts' over, boys, you can all head home and be with your darlings or try to find one before New Year."
"Boss, you need to tone it down. Like, seriously. You'll scare the customers. And me." Said a brave female worker, the orator of what Issei and all others had been thinking.
"My wife said it was a pretty good impression..."
"Not at work it isn't. Boss, you're in your forties. Your 'cool days' are over."
Issei decided it was best to leave. Not to avoid the trouble it would cause – this was a daily occasion and it was all done in a good-natured albeit mean humor. Not because of that, but because he knew if he stayed, he'll join too.
Break
'Twas the night before Christmas, and 'twas cold as hell.
It never got this cold back in Kuoh. The winter in the northern region of Japan sure was something. In cold, silent nights like this, where there remained few pedestrians because the townspeople were probably gathering at an event with their couple–screw them too-, he often recalled his first meeting with Shirone. And Kuroka.
Neither were particularly happy memories, one even plummeted his manliness. Weeks had passed without the similar incident though, and he wasn't sure if he wanted to test his luck with random encounters this soon. He was in luck the two were pretty much reasonable. If it was a ghost girl from the movie—
Actually, seeing every colors seemed to be draining out into shades of black, Issei would rather not think about it. He could deal just fine with horror movies, but that didn't mean he was immune to its paranoia-inducing effect. Who's to say a lady in white wouldn't jump him and lift him up with psychic powers, turn him over and shake him for loose change in his pockets?
"ACHOO!"
Startled, Issei glanced by his shoulder. There was another person behind him, and had been for around ten minutes. He wasn't the kind of guy to be paranoid, but he got the feeling he was being followed.
Why would he be followed? Issei thought logically. He didn't owe any money except for that time he borrowed from Matsuda, and that baldy didn't look like he'd send a thug after him. A kidnapper? Well Issei wasn't exactly a kid for one, and he'd pity whoever napped him.
Shrugging off the thought and filing it as another case of coincidence, he marched on.
Although, it didn't help that he had arrived at his neighborhood and that same person was still tailing him. His home wasn't too far away however. A left turn and a little more walking and he'd be there. But that distance seemed tripled when someone was following him.
Issei didn't know what drive him to do this, but there was a surge of bravado that made him swivel on his foot, and turn around.
For the first time, he got a clear look of his supposed stalker. It was a he. Fancy clothed, but not the appropriate wear for winter. Issei doubted a blazer would help much against the cold, and he didn't understand why this man didn't fully button his white shirt either. It might be the streetlight's orange glow, but the man looked as if he had light-colored hair.
"Hey..." Issei called, contemplating if it was to late for him to run away from this punk-looking dude. He caught the man's attention as he stopped walking, suddenly looking at him with a surprised look. "Uh... are you following me?"
There was a pause.
"No I am not." The man sounded offended. He even grimaced too.
"...Okay." Because that was convincing.
Issei tried. He really tried to shove the thought aside. But when he had gone through his home's small front yard that was still plummeted by snow, ready to enter to his humble abode, return to his safe and sound place, the man was standing right by the fences. He was staring at the house, looking as if he was trying to remember something.
Something couldn't be right.
"Are you sure you're not following me."
"This is your house?"
"...Yes?" Issei eyed him suspiciously. This person did look genuine in his surprise. Was he mocking him?
It was then his front door creaked open, and from it, out came a young blonde girl that wasn't Kunou. She lacked the tail, and Kunou didn't have any dress with pinkish purple color.
Her hair wasn't tied into a pair of drills too.
"Brother! There you are!" The girl exclaimed as she poutily stomped her way to said brother, who was the man from earlier. And were those things on her dress peacock feathers?
"Is this my house?" It was then Issei started to doubt himself. Now that he observed it, he noticed the second floor seemed a little bit... bigger.
"Where have you been?!" The girl yelled, hands on her hip. She was taller than Shirone, but seemed brattier too. "We were looking for you everywhere!"
"I was uh..." The man cleared his throat, and smirked. "I was sightseeing. It's not every day we have to travel to this dull place. The flames here disgust me."
Issei lowered his eyebrows. Normally, people would complain about the stench. Or muddy rivers. This place had neither, but... flames? Was this guy nitpicking just to find things to hate?
The girl was not impressed. "You have been sightseeing for the past 3 hours!
"Well the shopping district was pretty big..."
"You said you hate the flames!"
"I do! But... not necessarily the foods."
"Ugh..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"What are you staring at? What are you doing here?"
"Uh..." Issei didn't expect to be noticed. And this girl sure had some tone. "This is... my house?"
"What are you talking about? This place is-"
"Oh, you're back." Another voice. A familiar one at last.
Issei turned around, saw Kuroka in her thick sweater and sweatpants, leaning at the door frame. He was thankful his house didn't magically change ownership over his working hours.
She grinned then, but it wasn't aimed at him. "Well... Little girl? The game is still on nyan~"
Issei turned his head again, towards the blonde sibling. The younger one was cowering behind her brother.
"What the... what did you do to my sister you vile vixen?"
"Me? A vixen? Don't you see these ears nyan?"
Wait, that's right. Why wasn't she hiding her ears? "Uhh..."
"She made me watch a horror movie!"
"Oh? And who said she wasn't afraid of 'silly human attempts at filmography' hmm?"
"That's not a human! Their limbs don't bend that way!"
Too much to process. He was flipping burgers not an hour ago. "I'm just going to cool off inside." Issei said as he walked towards Kuroka. If she knew these people and they didn't freak out about her ears, then it shouldn't be anything bad.
"Oh! Niitan! Hello~"
"Master!"
"You're back!"
Until three extra pair of heads popped up beside her. One was Kunou's, and the other two was... some twins with brightly colored hair. Issei wasn't sure. He might be seeing things.
He felt like he was in a badly written cartoon.
Break
Issei thought his living room was spacious enough. It had two sofas, one of which where he slept, the other which was used by the sisters, an armchair which was claimed by Azazel, and a space between them with pillows. The space was enough to fit a glorious kotatsu – something he planned on buying once he had saved enough. Kunou could trot or prance around and it was still spacious for him.
But when there were 9 people gathered around at the same time, it felt cramped. Even with three small-sized girls sitting on the cushions staring at the TV and one average-sized brat sitting next to her brother.
"I am Riser Phenex and this is my sister, Ravel- why do you look so angry all of the sudden?"
"I don't know. I feel like hitting someone."
"That's what I feel everyday nyan." Kuroka cheerily quipped.
She was ignored, though. "That wasn't a ladylike sentence to say." The blonde man said. He was no longer shivering as there was a thick blanket around him. "If mother was here, you would be getting an earful."
"If mother was here, she would be pleased to know her son got lost. That wasn't a very prince-like behavior either."
"I was sightseeing."
"You got lost!" Fumed Ravel, her twirly golden hair bouncing, "Just admit it! And buying food is not sightseeing!"
He scoffed. "I was observing the commoner's food."
"You didn't have to buy them."
"Hmph. I'm a generous man. I'm preventing their economy becoming crippled."
"Ugh..." She looked as if she was about to explode. "You're an idiot. A stupid idiot! I'm going to help Ms. Yasaka!"
She stormed off to the kitchen as if it was their home already. Issei felt like fleeing the scene too. He could use something more peaceful for his mind. There were Kunou and the twins, but they just lacked that one thing that Yasaka had. Her air, Issei assumed.
"So," Riser restarted, acting as if nothing happened, "nice place you have here." Issei was about to say his prepared lines for that kind of pleasantries, but Riser continued. "Don't you have something to say to someone who made it possible for a commoner like you to enjoy living lavishly?"
On second thought, 'What a snob.' "...Yes, it's-"
"Please, don't misunderstand." The lady next to Riser interjected. She was enchantingly beautiful, elegantly dressed with noble clothes that Issei didn't know the names, one of her eyes covered by her long purple hair that flowed perfectly with her buxom figure, and out of his league.
Her looks reminded him of a fortuneteller of an RPG game, somehow. It must be the dark purple dress. Or her one-eye-covering hair. Possibly her hair.
"Lord Riser has been fretting whether or not his first clients are satisfied with their housing."
"Wha- no I did not!"
"And more often than not, Lord Riser has trouble conveying what he means in a straightforward manner. He's afraid he would be seen as, 'soft'."
"Hee~?" Kuroka chirped, "Is he one of those 'rough on the outside but soft on the inside'? Like a soft-boiled egg nyan? A turtle and its shell?"
"Precisely."
"Oooh, Mr. Softie~"
"Why you!" Riser, now with a red streak on his face, seethed. "I will get you for this. Yubelluna. And you too! You, you— you feline!"
"Oh." Issei was strangely pleased with this development. "Well then... Thanks, living here is great. And thanks for the extra bedroom too." His back will be eternally grateful.
"..." Riser looked to the side, attempting to hide his face. "...This was nothing."
Issei felt mildly uncomfortable. Nearly as uncomfortable when he was talking to Kiba when he made Issei question his sexuality.
"He's blushing." Kuroka sneered. "How cute."
"Tch- I'm heading out for a fresh air."
'Wow he actually clicked his tongue.' Was Issei's thought.
"Did he just click his tongue nyan?"
"Hmm? I thought you disliked this world's air."
Riser grumbled something in a language Issei wasn't familiar of. Probably Devil language. What language do Devils use daily? Latin? French? English? They do have a more westerner feeling to them rather than easterners.
Then again, where is Hell?
Storing those question for another day, he looked at the woman known as Yubelluna. His girlfriend, or maybe wife, he assumed. She had a certain satisfied look and tightlipped smile on her pretty face that Kuroka had whenever she toyed with his sanity.
"He's adorable." Only a little bit more mean. Something in the back of his mind told him to not mess with this woman.
Yeah right, like he'll ever get the chance to.
"Hyoudou-san,"
"Just Issei is fine, please. Calling me that formal makes me feels... old." It felt strange when a foreigner addressed him like that. She was being polite, but that didn't kick away the feeling. Nobody called him Hyoudou except his mother when she was pissed.
It also made him feel he was old too. "And uh... I'm sorry if I don't know about proper noble customs. I wasn't raised in a palace, see..."
"Oh it's fine. I wasn't born from a noble origin like yourself."
"You don't?" Issei raised both of his eyebrows. "You look like one. I couldn't tell."
"Years of living together with one can change you." She giggled gracefully. Everything she did seem graceful. Her manner of speech, her posture, her sitting position. It was very ladylike and very... posh.
Meanwhile, Kuroka here lying about with a hand propping her chin being a complete low-class citizen. She even had an entire sofa for herself and one square for Shirone at the end. Maybe that was why this place felt crowded.
"Are you like, his girlfriend or something nyan."
"Yes. I am in fact one of his... lovers, for the lack of a better term. His girlfriend, I would say."
Issei felt a bit green with envy.
Kuroka narrowed her eyes. "Whaddya mean 'girlfriends' nyan. You dating a pimp?"
"Oh dear me- no!" Yubelluna was horrified. Good to know Devils still had limits on their tolerance. "A polygamous relationship is a common in Hell. It is... stranger for someone to only have one partner, in fact."
"Maybe I should go to Hell."
Kuroka snorted. "That doesn't mean you'll instantly get all the girls."
"Hey I can be good-looking if they're desperate enough."
"Or drunk enough." Shirone unexpectedly joined in.
They had a genial laughter. Issei too. He laughed at his own pain. It was his method of coping.
"What about these twerps here." Kuroka nudged at the twins lazily with her head. They were lying on the cushions, sharing a blanket together. Kunou was next to them, giggling at the word 'twerp', wrapped in a blanket. Not because of the cold, but because it felt comfy. "I was gonna ask if they're yours, but purple and yellow don't make a green."
"No, they're-"
"Naaah, we're orphans." One of the twins said blithely.
Issei looked at Kuroka. They both made a face as if they had already stepped on a landmine, and could no longer lift their feet without exploding.
"That took a sharp turn nyan."
"It's fineee. Nel and I are happy." The other twin insisted. Issei supposed she was Ile. "We get sweets."
"No I'm Ile. You're Nel. We do get sweets daily, though."
"Huh? Since when? I'm Ile."
"No, no, you're Nel."
"Why do people keep calling me Ile then!"
"Because we look the same!" Nel/Ile grumbled as she then sharply looked at Yubelluna, holding her responsible for the confusion. "This is why we should wear different clothes instead of using which part of our hair is tied!"
"It'd be easier if we dye our hair!"
"Yeah! I can go blonde and Ile can go purple!"
"YEAH!"
"I doubt Lord Riser would allow that." Yubelluna said calmly. "You're both too young to dye your hair."
The twins booed.
"Lame. Age is just a number you know."
"That's not something a kid should say." Issei muttered. Worriedly. Where did they hear this stuff?
"Fine." One of the two pouted. "Just remember you're Ile."
"'Kaaay."
"And she's Kunou!" The Kitsune exclaimed, popping out of her cocoon. "And she's thirsty. Mom, can I have a juice?!"
Seeing her skittering towards the kitchen where the fridge was located, Ile/Nel gasped. "Juice?!"
"Can we have some too please?" The other one begged Yubelluna, "Pretty please?"
"Double pretty please?"
"I'm not the one you should ask for permission, young ladies."
They immediately turned towards Issei.
"Please? We helped building your bedroom!"
"Yeah!"
Issei didn't need that kind of reasoning to say yes, but they helped building the bedroom? "Really? Is that normal for Devils too?"
Yubelluna giggled. "Yes. It's common for youngling Devils to supervise a construction work."
"Ahh." Issei nodded. "Of course. Go ahead. I bet you guys earned it."
"You bet! Thanks mister~!"
"Thanks mister times two!"
"I'm not that old..." Issei dourly mumbled as the two scampered away.
"But you're going to be." Kuroka pointed out. "Better get used to it nyan. You already slept in the couch. And look after a kid. Nyan. Hey, you even work. You're a middle-aged man if I ever see any nyan."
The dawning realization was painful as it was horrifying.
"...Oh god.
I'm my dad."
To be continued...
I don't know how this got to 8k words, but it did anyway so I'll pretend I did it intentionally to make up for 3 months of nothing
Unfortunately, the Christmas eve special will have to wait, because this is getting too long. And you'll get that shitty line as an ending
Bet you didn't see that coming did you.
No, not the ending.
I bet you thought this is going to be Akeno's intro chapter didn't you. Nope, it's Riser frickin Phenex
and also ravel and co. I guess
What, you think I'm just going to use the female cast just because it's DxD and forget the male casts because they're never interesting and sorta just "be there" like that dad in the kardashians? Or just because it's titled Everyday Life with Supernatural Girls? pshh
About Akeno, she has her dad and mum so you know what that means. No daddy issues
ooooh yeaaaaah
Even though that means I have to come up with something original to give her a reason to "fall" for Issei - if I want to -, because fixing her daddy issues is out the window now
And don't get too hyped and sail your ship prematurely, because don't forget, I make them sail, but I'm also the iceberg
like gee
wouldn't it be a shame
if
I sink ur ships
( ͡◉ ͜ʖ ͡◉)
anyway take it easy bye
Before you go,
and in case you're the dudes who never read those author notes full of boring who-gives-a-shit bullshits,
I've set up a poll in my profile which is basically "Who is best grill?" in this story. It features the girls who have appeared so far and will continue to add on the more girls pop into the story. I included Kunou and Koneko because this isn't about 'best waifus', just characters that you really enjoy
I guess I should rename it to "Most enjoyable characters", but I went with 'who is best grill haha ecksdee' because I'm 9 years old and I think that's comedy
The poll will always be up until this story comes to an end, so probably forever because I can't get shit done. You get 2 picks that you can always change whenever you changed your mind. Why? Because... this isn't an election