It wasn't an easy thing to do, Lena realized. But it made sense Alex thought of going to the orphanage as well, after all, Kara was her adopted sister, she knew the importance of taking someone with no shelter into a loving home. Lena sometimes wished she hadn't had the luck of being adopted by the Luthors, but at the same time wondered what her fate might had been if no one had taken her in. So, with that little resolve she had agreed to go with the fearless Agent into the battlefield that foster kids had to call life.
It made her feel uneasy, so she kept on repeating herself she was just the moral support and was more than happy to oblige into that idea. So she took an afternoon off from L-Corp with an extremely vague excuse that had her secretariat raising a brow since the young woman knew the CEO had been sketchy lately with so many secret appointments, but bless her heart since she never made personal questions.
"I'll be back by seven" Lena announced to her secretariat "Perhaps later, nine probably" she admitted "And if I do I expect you to be gone by then, go home. Don't wait for me" she added.
"Very well, Miss Luthor, your car is waiting outside"
"Yes, thank you" she grabbed her tablet to work on some financial sheets while being driven to the orphanage. She tried to distract herself from the situation by running some numbers but her mind quickly drifted to picture Alex's hopeful eyes as she petitioned her to go along. It had been a while since someone had looked at her with such…kindness? Tenderness? Like she was worth something, worth having by your side. Admittedly Kara had been the only other citizen in National City to ever look at her like that, maybe it was a Danvers trait, Lena thought chuckling despite herself.
But there was something in Alex that Kara didn't have…it wasn't exactly a softness into her demeanor, even the contrary, she had…an edge… a drive that showed in her eyes that she was willing to take on the whole world even at her own expense…she could see Alex's fear and vulnerability, but those things only fueled her further into achieving her goals. She liked that about the Agent...maybe she liked a few other things.
Lena sighed pushing the thought aside as well as her tablet, she didn't have the time to entertain those childish ideas. Alex was kind to her as she was polite to everyone else, everyone she knew at least, the woman was ferocious when necessary.
Lena liked that she could count on her, to know she could really show her the scars she hid so well and know Alex wouldn't judge her, not by her past, not by her name, not anymore.
Lena found herself smiling at the recollection of how soothing being with the redhead had been. Sharing an afternoon of chatting, working on the lab, going for dinner… she felt…welcomed. She felt like she belonged whenever walking into her apartment or having her over at L-Corp. Alex had fitted in into her life with such ease and she felt like she could belong into her life as well… but such idealistic fantasies were soon crushed by her own fear and self-hatred as she recalled where she come from, the perfect house but a broken home. She didn't deserve such happiness; Lilian had reiterated that point often enough for Lena to believe it to be true. So the raven haired woman just gazed outside the window instead and allowed her mind to wander far from what her reality was.

Alex was pacing from one side of the street to the other, never wandering too far from the entrance. She was of course nervous about the prospect of going into the orphanage, she didn't want the kids to look at her as thought she was their only hope, it made her stomach twist. She hated that she would have to walk among them and see them as though they were on display, like little poppies hoping to be taken to a loving home. Perhaps her perception was far off, but that was what she felt like it was going to happen.
And on top of that, she felt her hands sweat in anticipation as she knew Lena was going to accompany her. It was a mix of excitement and sheer fear. Nothing had really changed other than the realization of her own feelings, so why did it nag her so much? Part of her knew that it was because Lena was Kara's best friend and it wouldn't be as complicated if Kara wasn't also Supergirl. Alex knew the Luthor had a sever opinion regarding the hero. Lena wouldn't say out loud that she hated her, but more pointedly that she didn't agree with her methods as she knew Kara wasn't fond of Lena's antiques either. She felt trapped in the web of lies because…if Lena indeed ended up hurt and resentful after being in the dark for so long… then what they had built was going to crumble as well…and Alex dread that it could happen.
Luckly her spiraling down was cut short by the black car that parked in front of the building as Lena Kieran Luthor made her appearance wearing a casual suit and a grand smile as she gazed upon the agent.
"And I thought I was very punctual" Lena remarked teasingly.
"I am allowed to run a few red lights" Alex countered with a smirk.
"I truly hope that's not the moral you are going to teach your kid, Agent"
"Never said I was going to be an exemplary role model"
"I could hardly imagine you being anything less than perfect" Lena smiled softly before feeling her stomach flip "as a mother" she added swiftly being only glad all her time at social gatherings had taught her how to smoothly save a slip of tongue.
"Well, it's time to figure out if this is going to be it" Alex said changing her body language, her shoulders going stiff and her voice carried something heavy in it.
Lena reached for her hand preventing from taking another step "Hey…you don't have to do this if you don't feel ready. It's perfectly okay if you-"
"I just feel like I should at least consider it" she cut her off "For Kara" she added as an afterthought "Having a family basically saved her life"
"I know" Lena mumbled "but this is your family, you are building it and…there's nothing wrong if you are not ready to adopt, if you want to carry your child it's just as valid"
Alex shifted the weight from one leg to another thinking her words before exhaling "We're already here, I want to be sure of what I want, I don't want to second guess because I didn't give it a try"
Lena nodded in understanding letting go of her wrist and suddenly Alex's hand felt very empty and weightless. She would have loved to hold her hand as she walked through the doors because instead she had to press her fist firmly.
The place didn't look dark or depressing, contrary to the popular belief it was a very luminous place, but it did carry something in the air, something neither woman could shake off as they reached the main office.
"Hi" Alex leaned into the desk "I'm-my name is Alex Danvers, I came to talk to Mrs. Johnson?"
"Ah, yes of course" she took the phone calling "Your 6 o'clock is here" she waited a beat "right away" she hanged "you can go inside, Miss Danvers"
"Thank you" she took one step before looking over her shoulder where Lena waited.
"I'll be right here when you get out" she assured "I brought some paperwork, so I'll be busy" she added to try to ease up the Agent, pretending as though she wouldn't mind being on the other side of the door as the red head tried to figure her life out without being at her side.
Alex nodded feeling exactly the same but couldn't bring herself to ask her to join the meeting, it felt awkward in a way. So instead Alex breathed in and disappeared through the hall.
"You can sit down over there" the lady at the desk pointed with her pen "we have some magazines and a coffee machine. They shouldn't take too long"
"Perfect, thank you" she reached the waiting room sitting by the window looking outside to see dozens of kids running around. She was tempted to gaze for a little longer as a smile filled her lips but decided not to get too engaged, so instead she took out her work load and continued were she had left at the car.
She quickly became immersed in the task at hand forgetting for a brief instant about her surrounding and not second guessing why she had agreed to come along. So she was more than a bit surprised when her peace and quiet were disturbed by an unknown voice.
"Is that a tablet?" a small girl asked pointing at the device in her hands.
"Um, it's a L-Corp design, but sure" she answered at the 7 year old.
"Does it have any games?"
"Only chess, I'm afraid"
"Can I be the white pieces?" she requested sitting next to her.
Lena was shortly aback but didn't deny the challenge as she placed the gadget between the two "Be my guest"
The little girl beamed before fully concentrating.
Lena decided to play nice and make a few mistakes to give her an advantage, but that soon proved to be a mistake and a great miscalculation as her opponent took the offensive playing with more dexterity than a lot of adults Lena had encountered.
As soon as Lena began to play on her level, the little girl seemed to actually enjoy herself as a real opponent was presented. The duel lasted longer than anticipated and when the kid finally lost there was no resentment on her face, but hope and excitement.
"Best two out of three?" she proposed and Lena smirked radiating the same energy as she reset the app.
As the second round began she was more than a little surprised to find out that the girl had been holding back as well, as now her movements weren't so rushed or sporadic, she was predicting several moves ahead and before the board was without a king, Lena knew the match was over.
"I surrender" the Luthor announced as she couldn't physically lay down the king "we both know you would have won in four more moves" she added with nothing short of admiration.
"I was the white pieces; I had the upper hand" the girl shrugged nonchalant "the whites usually win"
"Not against me" Lena mumbled looking at the girl with intrigue and cold measurement.
"Next round defines the winner" the girl smirked childishly as though she just had pet a pony.
"Let's have our tie breaker then" Lena proclaimed feeling rather excited as to see how that would unfold. The pieces were set back into place and as the girl moved her horse a voice cut their match short.
"Ellie!" the woman at the front desk called out for her "you are supposed to be at recess with the other kids"
"But we were about to-"
"You can't keep running off, sweetie. Your teacher has been looking for you like crazy"
"I didn't left, we were just playing" she pouted.
"I'm so sorry, Miss" the woman apologized to Lena but she was quick to intervene.
"No, no worries at all, she was keeping me good company" she said "I think I'm the one that kept her from going back, I should have guessed she was supposed to be somewhere else"
"It's all good, little Ellie likes to sneak out" she looked at the kid in a scolding manner.
"I'm sorry, but I didn't leave the building this time" she defended herself with a poor argument.
"Go back with the other kids, please" she sighed before looking at Lena "Miss Johnson was just about to be finished with her meeting, your friend will be out in a moment"
"Thank you" she stood up as the little girl grumpily walked over to the woman.
"Aren't you going to thank this nice lady for playing with you?" she reproached the child.
Ellie turned around "Thanks" she said before quickly adding "we are still best two out of three right? You haven't won just because I have to go, I haven't forfeit"
"Ellie!" the woman scolded yet again, but Lena only chuckled.
"Of course, there's one more round before settling the score. Maybe when my friend visits again we can finish our match?"
The girl nodded approvingly, her eyes sparkling with anticipation for said occasion.
"Ok, little rascal, off you go" the woman finally got her to walk back to recess as Alex reached them just taking a glance at the young girl.
"Lena, hey, sorry for making you wait"
"Alex" she smiled "I was very much entertained" she assured before noticing that the Agent looked a little tense "How did everything go?"
"Great" she held a tight smile "I think we are ready to go"
"Very well" she picked her things up as they reached the entrance and they were bid farewell. Once alone Lena turned around, her arms folded neatly over her chest, a questioning brow already perking up. At least they had grown to know each other enough to read what was left unsaid.
Alex sighed averting her gaze "I was…overwhelmed by all of it. But at least now I have my mind set on a clear goal" she offered "I do want to carry my kid, I don't know if it's selfish or not, but I want to give birth and go through all the maternity stuff" she said the last part with a dreamy smile as she could already picture it.
"You've found your resolve, I'm proud of you" Lena praised.
"Yeah… so, thanks for coming here with me but I don't think we'll be having a follow up session"
"Ow" Lena suddenly was aback as she gazed back into the building.
"Something the matter?"
"No, not at all, I just thought-" she shook her head "never mind" she offered her best smile "I'm calling my driver, is there any place I can give you a ride to?"
Alex breathed in nervously "Kara's?"
"Are you telling her?" Lena asked surprised.
"We have sisters' night so…maybe it is the right time" she shrugged.
"Well, send my regards to Auntie Kara when you see her" Lena said mischievously.
"It's not a reality yet" Alex pointed out.
"All things start as an idea" Lena retorted "nothing wrong with having hope"
"I just don't want to build expectation"
Lena reached for her shoulder giving it a light squeeze "Whatever is thrown your way, we can overcome it"
Alex felt her heart skip a beat and her ears turn into the matching color of her hair "T-thanks" she stuttered.
"Of course" she let go of her shoulder quickly turning around reaching for her purse "I'll call a car now" she excused as she felt her own heart drumming a full concerto on her chest