I really wanted to finish this fic by today before the new episode (finally) aired, but turns out I still have a few more things to tell before bringing it to a conclusion, so, here we go!
Lena scribbled her signature on the bottom of the paper and shook hands concluding her meeting. She had far more pressing matters to attend to at the park that noon, but still needed to go to one place before daring to.
She knocked at the wooden door and waited half a second before a familiar face opened up already smiling.
"Lena! Hey, what a surprise" Kara happily drove her into a hug as Lena balanced a box of doughnuts.
"I bear presents since I'm intruding"
"Then you should intrude more often" she grabbed the food settling it on the table "Come in" she invited as Lena set her purse a side.
"I'm sorry to drop unannounced"
"You are always welcome here, you know that" she grinned brightly tapping the couch for her to seat down as well.
Lena smiled softly knowing the reporter fully meant her words "Thanks, Kara"
Kara bite into the doughnut holding the box open so Lena could grab one as well. "So, what brings you here?" the Kryptonian inquired noticing Lena's almost tense shoulders.
"I…I wanted to talk to you, if that's ok?" Lena began doubtfully.
"You can always talk to me" Kara answered frowning in confusion.
"I…I don't want to talk…pink" she said referring to their last quarrel, how Lena had said she felt like she couldn't speak to Kara about any other color than that one. Kara understood in an instant and turned to face her fully.
"Of course, if you want …if you need to, I'll be more than willing"
Lena exhaled deeply trying to tie her thoughts together, a lump in her throat "I want to ask you something personal, something that if I were in your place I would be upset to talk about"
An 'Oh Rao' almost escaped Supergirl's lips, but her identity was not what was at stake at that time.
"How was for you to be…adopted?" Lena finally verbalized, her eyes completely focused on the other woman "I mean, I know from my own experience but I was just a kid, you had such a full understanding of things, you…you lost every bit of normalcy and was thrown into a whole new world, I just-I…" Lena shut her mouth breaking eye contact tensing her jaw "You don't have to answer, naturally, I-"
"It was…devastating….at first. All that I knew, all whom I loved suddenly…gone" Kara began unaware of how her own eyes were forming tears at the corners "My family, the sense of safeness they provided, their faces, their touch, nothing more than a vague memory and I…I was expected to be the strong one. All that sadness became rage because it wasn't fair, I was thrown into a new life, with new people, a new house and I was just supposed to adapt…it was so frightening at the beginning" Kara swallowed hard "I cling to every last bit of normality I could, build a routine, have things go exactly a certain way to avoid more losses" Kara pressed her fists tightly only loosening her grip when Lena reached for one of her hands to sooth her. Kara took a deep breath and gazed up "It got better, though. Alex helped a lot. I mean, at first we fought like crazy but I guess that was only natural. My arrival meant that Alex had just lost every trace of familiarity as well. She resented me for a while and I guess I did the same because she still had all that I had lost but at the same time I was taking it away from her …" Kara traced back "But at the end we learned that we had each other to lean on" she offered "she would always have my back, she was my big sister, she always protected me, put me first…she made me feel like a Danvers, like I had something again. Without them taking me in I wouldn't be the person I am today"
Lena smiled tenderly nodding empathically "Thanks Kara…for sharing this with me"
Kara sheepishly reached for a napkin wiping away her tears "Of course" she smiled softly "I guess your experience was different"
"It was in a way…" Lena mumbled looking back at her memories "I had the gist of what loosing someone was…I knew my mother wouldn't come back but I coped with it in such an odd…almost inhumane way… and when I was taken into the Luthor mansion I figured I had nothing else to be taken away from me and then…then I learned I had far worse things coming. Not long after I lost once again the concept of a family or…perhaps I never really had it to begin with so I just longed for what it was supposed to be like…"
"Oh Lena" Kara mumbled sympathetically, but Lena just shook her head in a reassuring manner.
"It's ok, Kara. Honestly. In all measures you had it far worse than me and you thrive to become better and never bitter, that is truly remarkable. I'll always admire that about you" she said solemnly.
Kara would forever keep that praise close to her heart "Our experiences were different, but I think the pain was the same…and you affronted it just as admirably" Kara said looking at her full of hope.
Lena huffed with a tender smile "Always looking at the best of people"
"Too pink?"
"No, I really needed to hear that, actually" Lena ducked her chin a bit embarrassed.
"Then you'll hear once again that I believe you to be more than what your past was like, no matter how hurtful or dark, you walked away from it with your head held high. You have more determination in you than all of National City together" she said earnestly "And I'm glad we got to talk about this" she held her hands looking at her eyes "what our past was like"
Lena offered a genuine smile "It's the first time I talk about this without feeling my stomach turn or any kind of guilt" she admitted finally relaxing her shoulders, letting go of all the tension she had carried "I was never really a Luthor… so I don't have to keep owning up to a debt that isn't mine"
Kara's smile grew wider as she leaned in hugging her firmly "I'm so proud" she mumbled into her hair.
Lena melted into the hug as well "Thank you, Kara. For believing in me when no one else would" she said heartedly "Now it's my turn to believe in myself" she let go of the embrace "I'm ready to know what a family is" she breathed in full of resolve "And I promise I'll explain everything later, but right now, I have a picnic to attend to"
The sun high on the sky announced that to be the perfect day for a picnic. There were food trucks, face-painting stands, decorations and everything that could bring color and joy to their evening. Lena knew that at best it was an escape, a very fleeing motion of happiness, but she wanted that at least all the kids could look back to a pleasant memory and smile. By the time she had arrived to the place it was already buzzing with excitement, laughter and games. The children were playing in groups, running from one side to another, eating and chatting, interacting…well, all but one.
Lena wasn't all that surprised to find Ellie alone on the swings, slowly swaying with not much enthusiasm. She knew it probably was a fairly common scenario, the girl seemed to be used to the loneliness and that only made Lena's heart crumble all the more.
So she arrived to her side casting her shadow over her "May I join you?"
Before Ellie could look up she had already recognized her voice "You came!" she beamed in an instant as Lena sat next to her.
"I'm sorry I missed the inauguration"
"It's okay" Ellie answered "You just missed the magician, she was really amazing, though" she mentioned swinging more energetically.
"Really?" Lena asked enjoying the excitement in her eyes as she talked.
"Yeah, a lady with a top hat, she talked funny, backwards? The tricks she did were incredible" she filled her in without taking her eyes out of the Luthor, as though if she feared Lena might disappeared if she blinked.
"I hope I can make it up to you" the CEO smirked.
"You are here" Ellie reassured "That's what matters"
Lena felt her heart melt at the sincerity on her words "I really wanted to be here with you today" she said before taking a deep breath "Ellie…would it be ok if I introduced you to a couple of my friends?" she asked directly, knowing the little girl tended to act as she played, straight forward.
"Your friends?" she repeated aback, clearly that was a situation she had never been in before.
"Yes…Remember the first time we played together? That day I was accompanying my friend, I think you just barely saw her. And her sister is my best friend so…I would really like you to meet them" she said honestly.
In those innocent eyes there was the distinctive interrogative 'why?' written all over, but the thing Ellie asked was something entirely different "Will they like me?"
Lena's brows knitted at the question in a mix of shock and heartbreak "Of course, you are such a sweet girl, who wouldn't like you?"
"My parents" Ellie said under her breath in the faintest of voices. Lena felt her heart crush at the sight of such despair.
So Lena kneelt in front of her grabbing her hands and looking up at her watery eyes "Then listen closely. I like you, Ellie. And I know my words won't fill the emptiness you feel right now, believe me, I do understand that, I've lived through that too. But I know things will get better, the feeling of loneliness will fade. It will take time and it won't always be easy because for it to go away you have to open up and let others in and that is scary" She squeezed gently her fingers "I wish your parents could have seen just how exceptional you are, but if they couldn't, then I assure you, I do. I see this outstanding, brilliant, sweet girl in front of me and just have to wonder if I could ever be as brave as her" she reached for her cheek brushing her tears away "Seeing you makes me want to face my fears, Ellie. And the biggest one is belonging with a family again…or perhaps for the first time" she said "I don't know what your biggest fear is, but…if nothing else, I would like to be there when you decide to face it" she mumbled "Ellie…I came today to make sure I don't have to keep saying goodbye…I want to know if you would like to come live with me. See if we can build a home together…"
Alex reached into her pocket after feeling the phone vibrate. There was a messages from Lena addressed to her and Kara, a dinner invite, no less.
"You read it yet?" Kara approached in her Supergirl persona.
"Yeah" Alex nodded, a smile tugging up her lips.
"Must be some especial occasion because she's cooking" Kara read the next text "Let's hope it's nothing began" the kryptonian half-joked.
"Especial occasion?" Alex repeated "Is it her birthday soon?" she dared to ask acknowledging she still didn't know some details about the Luthor.
"Oh, no, we are still like three months away from that" Kara reassured while texting in the group, asking Lena directly if there was something they were celebrating. Alex still didn't felt quite comfortable to barging in like that, but waited for the answer with undivided attention. And then the reply came and Alex felt a tug in her heart.
"Ellie" Kara read out loud "She would like us to meet Ellie" the blonde re-read it "Do you know who she's talking about? I don't think she ever mentioned her to me"
"No" Alex said feeling her mouth go dry.
"Must be one of her childhood friends then? Because I'm pretty certain we are her closest friends here in National City. Perhaps she's visiting"
"Could be" Alex mumbled thinking back on how Lena had mentioned her appointment with someone before, perhaps the mystery person was Ellie.
Kara looked at her sister questioningly "You ok? You seem upset?"
"Oh? No, I'm fine…just…overwhelmed by the procedure and stuff" she offered a half-truth tapping gently on her own stomach.
"Then this dinner might be a welcomed distraction" Kara beamed "So, tomorrow night, what should we bring?" Kara asked her sister.
"If it is one of Lena's old friends probably something fancier than doughnuts and beer" Alex said bitterly under her breath. She was dreading the feeling of foreignness that settled in her stomach as she began to imagine how entering Lena's apartment without their usual dynamic would be like. No casual clothing and a couch, no robotic championship and talking about prototypes…not just the two of them…
"Hey, it's just a small gather" Kara patted her back "I doubt her friend will be some conceited heiress. Lena can't stand that kind of people and she must be someone important to her, she'd never done this before, so let's be open minded about it" Kara asked gently but every single word that came out her mouth just made Alex feel worse because all of it was true and this person must really matter for Lena to do such a gesture.
"I'll pick up some wine" Alex said over her shoulder as she walked away, salty tears stinging in the corner of her eyes, threatening to drip down her face.
Lena settled the salad plates as a pair of tinier hands folded the napkins. The Luthor still couldn't believe her eyes at the image of Ellie walking around the place, exploring each room, making a dozen questions, helping her make breakfast… Lena just loved every single moment of it.
"Is this alright?" the girl asked, maybe still looking for approval, not completely settled in into the new environment, perhaps it was still too much of a house and not a home just yet "I've…never sat at the table with the adults"
Lena tenderly smiled walking up to her to kneel at the same level "You don't have to think of this as a formal dinner" the Luthor said knowing fully well how dreadful those used to be when she was a child, how she was just a pony on display for her family to put on the parade. Lena didn't want that for Ellie, she genuinely wanted the most important people in her life to meet her, so the girl could be part of it as well. Of course she was proud and amazed at how wonderful Ellie was, but she didn't intend to brag or put her on the spot, she just longed to share her enthusiasm with the Danvers.
But Ellie didn't know that, so she just kept her eyes down casted looking small. Lena had to gaze around the apartment to really notice what the girl saw around her, how cold and formal it all seemed. She was used to the minimalistic style, it was simple and functional, but perhaps it resembled too much to an office or a hotel room, or one of the luxurious modern apartments published on magazines. It was a nice place for exhibitions but not to live in, Lena hardly ever spent time there, so she didn't mind, but for Ellie this was supposed to be her new safe heaven, so she owed it to het to make it just as much hers as it was her own.
"Hey…"Lena began "Do you know origami?" she tried an approach and Ellie's eyes darted up with curiosity.
"Just a crane"
"I'm sure those napkins would look a lot better as cranes than squares" she offered "I know how to make a lotus flower, maybe I can teach you that one and you show me the other?"
The bright smile was once more in its righteous place on Ellie's lips. They enjoyed the little activity and Ellie eased up, not looking as nervous while each passing minute was getting them closer to the Danvers' arrival.
"I think they turned out pretty great" Lena mentioned as they settled them over each plate.
"We should learn to do more figures"
"Agreed" Lena giggled "Tomorrow morning?"
Ellie nodded happily before both got distracted by a knock at the door.
"That must be them" Lena stood form the chair fixing her skirt "Are you ready to meet them?"
Ellie fidgeted a bit "Can I sit next to you at the table?"
"Of course, sweetie" Lena tapped on the tip of her nose.
Alex was about to knock for a second time when she considered that she really wasn't ready for any of it, of meeting the mysterious woman.
"Hey, Kara?" she turned to look at her always beaming sister "…Can you use your x-ray vision to see who's inside?"
Kara looked both shocked and a bit offended by the petition "No! I just look thought the door when it's my own home" she stated "besides I've learned from CatCo's utility closets never to do that again"
Alex winced at that idea.
"Yeah, you have no clue of what I've found out about work relationships" Kara shook her head, but that was not what Alex had reacted to, but the idea that maybe Lena was indeed sharing a moment with someone else…
Her mind didn't get to toy with her for much longer before the door swung open and those emerald eyes greeted them with such joy, just the sight of her after so long made it hard to breathe.
As soon as the door was no longer an obstacle the blonde reporter launched forwards in a bone crushing hug "Lena!"
"Kara!" the Luthor barely managed to keep her balance as a chuckle escaped her lips "I'm glad you could make it with such short notice"
"Wouldn't miss it! If you invite us over and you are cooking, I'm game, as long as there's no kale involved"
"Lasagna, you are in the clear"
"Perfect" Kara let herself in as Lena's eyes were finally confined solely to Alex "Hi" the Luthor said taking in every little detail of the Agent's demeanor. From the silver necklace shining over her leather jacket, to the bottle of wine tucked under her elbow as if forgotten under those neatly folded arms that resemblance a protective shell. Her steely eyes were uncannily soft and perhaps even sad. And if the Luthor wasn't mistaken, her lips were tucked in a tiny pout. Why Lena found the overall image adorable and even a bit endearing was beyond her, but it made her want to cuddle her.
"Hey" Alex opened her arms deflated after arguing with her own thoughts and allowed herself to be embraced, as if fearing that might be the last one.
Lena was shortly aback as the taller woman leaned in so fully onto her, but kept her stance and swiftly wrapped her arms around, resting on her shoulder. Her eyelids soon gave away as she closed her eyes taking a deep breath enjoying the fact that she could tell apart which perfume Alex was wearing, a fragrance she frequented only when they were to meet. It tickled her nose and made her wish she could stay there for a little longer. And by the looks of it, Alex was willing to freeze the moment as well, but soon reality came crashing back as Kara called for them.
"Hey Lena! Do you mind if I take some of the olives while we wait for your guest?"
Lena hesitantly let go of Alex turning over her shoulder amused by the reporter's appetite "You can eat whatever you want, Kara" she waited a beat "And Ellie is already here, she's just freshening up" she turned back to Alex trying to read into her face what was upsetting her this much. Alex seemed even more troubled now than moments before the embrace.
The Agent swallowed the knot on her throat before abruptly extending the bottle "Here, we brought this"
"Ow" Lena almost jerked back at the sudden movement "Th-thanks, I'm sure it'll go great with the meal" the CEO said taking a hold of the bottle briefly grazing Alex's fingers. "Please, come in" Lena moved aside letting the Agent walk into the all too familiar setting while a very foreign feeling crawled up her spine.
"So, how do you know Ellie?" Kara asked a moment after swallowing a mouthful of olives "Because if I can place a bet, I'd say she's someone you meet years back"
Lena cracked a smile settling the wine bottle at the center of the table "Then you would have lost yet for a second occasion"
"Really?" Kara arched her brows.
"I met her very recently, actually" Lena felt her pals suddenly so sweaty she had to discreetly rub them against the fabric of her pants "I guess that's why it's even a bit more…" she looked for the word, 'unsettling' wasn't it "unexpected" she decided trying to hold her smile in an unwavering manner but both sisters read right through her nervousness.
"Is…she from National City?" Kara dared to ask noticing the Luthor was losing her nerve alongside her words.
"I'd…be lying if I said I know that for certain" Lena looked shocked at her own admission "but, I met her here" she offered unable to look up, instead taking in the image of those napkins in curios shapes and the smile filled her lips "Honestly, there's a lot I still don't know, I think that's what makes it all the more special, because I want to keep discovering more and… perhaps find more about myself as our relationship grows"
Kara didn't miss the sudden flinch her sister discreetly displayed or the painful expression that flashed through her face in a micro second, as soon as her hurt was going to take over her features; the Agent had already covered it. But beyond that, Kara could notice in the complete silence how Alex's heartbeat spiked and then dropped, and the alien woman tried to figure out all of her sister's reactions but couldn't bring herself to question her so openly.
But all that was quickly put aside as Lena finally gazed up radiating her most sincere gesture "I want to find out if she would let me raise her as my daughter" she felt her chest expand as the words were finally out there "If she would ever love me as a mother"
Both sets of eyes gazed at her with such shock at the realization of what Lena was implying, that it was only a moment after Kara's hearing picked up the sound and cleared her throat that the two humans turned around to notice the door behind them was open and that Ellie was standing there, gazing at Lena with uncertainty and perhaps deep down just plain hope.
Lena swallowed the knot in her throat, she hadn't said that to Ellie yet, she wanted the girl to decide on her own terms if she would be willing to become her kid, and as an aftermath, a Luthor. Now the cards were just out there.
Alex gazed at the girl and back to Lena for a couple of times as the silence settled among them, she almost couldn't believe the scene that was unveiling in front of her. Lena Kieran Luthor, CEO of two mayor companies in National City, most influential woman in the country, the smartest person she knew and unarguably the only one that could make her feel so alive and understood, was opening up about being a parent, having a kid…
Alex had come to think their stars wouldn't align and yet the Luthor had once more surprised her, but as she saw those emerald eyes she understood just how frightened Lena was, because at the end she had put all her chips on the table, betting on a possibility she never had before, a family. So Alex caught her breath and took a step closer.
"Hi" she said kneeling down "I'm Alex" she introduced herself "And you must be Ellie. It's really nice to meet you, kiddo"
Ellie focused her eyes on her briefly leaving aside what Lena had said "H-hi" she shrugged her shoulders "It's a pleasure to meet you" she replied what she had practiced in front of the mirror just moments prior.
Alex could see how rehearsed that was, so she cracked a gentle smile her way "Must be pretty scary, ha?" she said in a softer tone "Being in a new place, surrounded by people you don't know…it can be a bit overwhelming" she said empathetically looking over her shoulder at Kara, she knew what her sister had gone through.
Ellie just nodded coyly ducking her chin to her chest, eyes down casted.
"It's okay" Kara approached her as well "It happened to me too" she offered "And I can promise, it gets easier. Sometimes the best thing you can do is to acknowledge all that is unknown until it becomes familiar, there's not much uncertainty left if you get used to all the new things, right?" she reasoned with a bright smile "I'm Kara Danvers, for example. And Alex is my older sister" she said extending her hand "We are close friends with Lena" Ellie stretched her hand "Now we are not such strangers, right?"
Ellie smiled nodding more confidently "I guess not"
Both Danvers stood from the ground once they had been properly introduced and Lena could only hold in the tears completely moved by their gesture. She simply felt overjoyed to have them be there for her, to be able to count on them.
It was plain to see the always powerful businesswoman was fighting off her emotional display, so Kara simply rubbed her arm up and down offering no words this time, perhaps understanding that Lena didn't needed that, but to live the moment.
Lena took a deep breath and offered a smile "Shall we eat dinner?"
At the table the mood lightened as Alex and Kara began to tell stories to relate to her, making Ellie laugh and take part in the conversation and Lena finally saw what she had been missing all those years sited at the Luthor's table in complete silence. She loved how the room was filled with anecdotes and a warm feeling, she could really get used to that image.
"Then Kara turned up at school in her pajamas" Alex said the punch line as the reported blushed madly and Ellie giggled.
"You promised not to tell that one"
"I have far worse ones to tell" Alex teased letting Kara have her revenge telling Ellie an embarrassing story of hers, taking the opportunity to steal a glance at Lena, whom fondly stared back with such calmness it was almost mistaken by sadness.
"You okay?" Alex whispered leaning to her side reaching for her hand, squeezing softly.
"I am" she said kindly "this is just so wonderful…I had to take a moment to live it" she squeezed back rubbing her thumb on the back of her hand.
Alex felt the air being knocked out of her lungs as she gazed upon those mesmerizing emeralds. Right then and there Alex wished she had leaned in to capture those rosy lips into her own, to steal a taste of her mouth while the red wine still lingered there, while the picture perfect of the life she desired was still there. Having a family, having her, having all that was right in front of them… Alex almost acted upon those emotions as she got an inch closer aching in the core of her being at the distance that was between them, but an elbow to her ribs distracted her as Kara nudged her, probably expecting a reaction out of a story she had told, exposing some embarrassing truth.
Alex actually winced as she let go of Lena's hand unable to look her in the eye now, she felt kind of guilty for trying to take that moment and make it her own, this was Lena's evening, she just had adopted a child. And as Alex looked back at her sister bonding so easily with Ellie over the common experience of being adopted and adapting, she had to remind herself there was still a little piece almost fading in the background. Kara had been welcomed in more than just a home, but a whole planet. Her sister was Supergirl and as much as this moment tasted like normality, that truth still needed to be played out before Alex could dare to move forward.
Ellie had fallen asleep on the couch just past ten. Lena laid a blanket over her, siting at her side as they took the opportunity to openly talk about all that had happened while the girl was resting soundly.
"Lena…this is…such a huge step" Kara began gazing at her with empathy "This is why you needed to talk the other day?"
Alex glanced at her sister with curiosity while Lena nodded a bit shyly.
"It helped me a lot to push my fears aside"
"I'm glad" Kara leaned in touching her knee.
"Thanks" she looked at Ellie tucking a loose buckle of hair back "I want a fair shot at trying, I couldn't walk in with one foot at the door and the pretext of the Luthor name as an excuse for poor parenting…Ellie deserves so much better than that… I want to see it through" she looked up already meeting Alex's eyes "that was my personal project" she said with resolve and Alex felt something inside her twist with nervousness and excitement all at once.
"You'll be a wonderful mother, Lena" Kara offered with sincerity before finding something amusing and chuckling out loud "I can't believe the two most important people in my life are both becoming parents" she fixed her glasses "seems like Auntie Kara will have a lot of babysitting to do"
That stole a laugh out of both as they shared a look, an unspoken conversation crossing through their eyes while Kara's words echoed, both were to become parents now…
I really think I'm one or two more chapters away from concluding this story! It has been an awesome ride and I've loved sharing it with all of you. Seeing all the follows, favs and reading all the comments it's just so motivating! THANK YOU! See you soon!