Alex waited outside the store kind of clueless as what to expect. When Lena had told them that she wanted to adequate her home so Ellie felt more welcome, Kara immediately jumped in to say they should go shopping for paint and decorations for the place and of course Lena had loved the idea and soon they had set the date for such a field trip only for Kara to bail at the last second with the boots and cape on, as the attacks of rough aliens were getting more and more violent and frequent. So now it was just going to be Lena, Ellie and Alex. The sudden idea made the base of Alex's stomach tickle and she couldn't figure out if that was a good thing.
"I see her!" a little voice called, bringing Alex back to reality as Ellie pointed at her form the parking lot.
"Hey" Alex smiled brightly forgetting about the rest.
"You made it" Lena answered the gesture.
"Yeah, Kara sends her apologies, something urgent came up"
"It's okay, I'll hear about it tomorrow at the CatCo meeting, I'm sure" she dismissed as she gazed upon the Agent as though if she was watching a sunset.
"Why are we here?" Ellie's voice broke the spell as Lena turned to look at her.
"Well, Kara suggested we might get some things you like to add to the house"
"Really?"
"Yes, really" Lena chuckled "And Alex here is helping us out"
"But you'll call the shots, kiddo" Alex added "lead the way, captain"
Ellie smirked nodding as they grabbed a kart walking in "You can go check out whatever you'll like, but don't run off" Lena asked, not sure if Ellie's habit of getting away would be an issue still "Stay close to us, ok?"
"Ok" she agreed walking just a few steps ahead exploring the place.
Alex tried to relax her shoulders as she rolled a question as casually as possible "So, how are things working out?" she tilted her head towards the girl.
"It's… a bit of an adjustment. I'm incredibly used to being alone at home and having odd schedules to work at L-Corp, but now I have to slow down, make sure that we have a proper meal together, take her with me to the office while trying to enroll her to school" she waved a hand dismissing the longer list "But honestly I think it's the most balanced my life has been in a while. I eat at a descent time, get more sleep…I don't know, maybe work is slower but it feel amazing to go home and have something to look forward to" she admitted "usually leaving the apartment was what made me feel eager, but now…now I understand what you meant by you corner of the world"
Alex smiled endearingly at that "I am truly happy for you" she said looking at the girl wander around "I must admit, though, that 'introduction dinner' was unexpected"
Lena actually blushed at that "I'm sorry I dropped it so abruptly on both of you. The media keeps calling me out for making abrupt investments, projects, announcements…I guess I wanted to take my time and figure it out on my own before taking that leap of faith"
"You could have told me you went back to the orphanage" Alex added in a weaker tone "I would have gone with you…just as you were there for me"
Lena slowed down her walk averting her eyes, roaming through her own thoughts "I know you would have. And most days I wished you were…but at the time I just showed up because I was captivated by Ellie's wits and intelligence but as I kept on visiting, I fell for her personality, her curiosity…I saw a lot of me in her but I was afraid…" she cleared her throat without elaborating "Besides, you were already so overwhelmed with Dr. Eriksen's appointments and it didn't feel fair to take that away from you. I still kind of feel like I have stolen that from you, honestly"
"What do you mean?" Alex questioned aback.
"Well, you are the one that had all the resolve in the world to become a parent and overnight I simply introduced you to Ellie" Lena frowned without meeting her eyes, pressing the kart's handle tighter "I do assure you, I am very committed to be a good mother, even though I didn't took more time or considered it for longer, I will do my best" she reassured firmly shutting her eyes tight. She was not going to become like Lillian.
"Hey" soft fingers brushed against hers as Alex grabbed her wrist, encouraging to release the pressure from her fist "You don't have to explain yourself to me or anyone else for that matter. You are free to make your life as you see fit. Plus, I'm pretty used to your process being ten times faster than any other; it's not for nothing that we can count on you to save the world so often"
Lena actually chuckled at that as she leaned into her shoulder hiding her face in the crook of her neck. Alex didn't even hesitate as she wrapped an arm around Lena resting her cheek on top of the Luthor's head. It came so natural at that point; they both had seen their highest and lowest, they knew they could always lean on the other. Alex could feel Lena's lips softly pressed against the base of her neck as the Luthor leaned in, the warmth of her breath tickling her skin. Alex would be lying if she said she didn't like the sensation, just the fact that the other woman trusted her enough to display her emotions could make her heart melt. At that time, Alex knew she was ready to say those three words out loud, that her feelings were as true as they could get, and that she indeed loved the Luthor. But that was not the place or time to come forward with such a confession, so she cherished the sensation instead, knowing it wouldn't be long before she found the right moment to openly say 'I love you'.
"I think I found something I like" Ellie's voice called for them.
Lena decided to stay in the embrace a second longer before pulling apart, taking a deep breath to savor the moment, nuzzling closer to the crook of her neck making Alex shiver as the Agent wasn't completely sure if the Luthor just had pressed a kiss against her skin. And as soon as her face started to warm up, Lena took a step back and walked towards Ellie.
Alex stood uselessly still for an instant before forcing herself to follow a step behind them.
"Look" Ellie pointed at a bunker bed.
"That's what you like, sweetie?"
"Yeah" she smiled proudly "if I put a cover on the bottom one I can make a personal cave and read on the upper one"
"Can't argue with that, sound pretty great" Alex chuckled folding her arms.
"Fair enough" Lena smiled writing down the item when her phone rang "Um, it's from work, I have to take this"
"Sure, we'll wait" Alex nodded as Lena swiftly stepped aside, whatever it was, it seemed urgent.
Alex then turned back to Ellie as the kid observed her equally focused. That was probably the first time they were both alone and it was turning into an awkward silence.
"Um…you want to keep strolling down the aisle?" Alex asked shrugging her shoulders.
"Sure" she turned around walking through the place as Alex watched over her. Once the girl found something entertaining and was completely still, Alex decided to take her phone out and quickly text Kara to know if she needed back up from the DEO.
"Error-Error, item not found, please try ag-error" Alex gazed up finding Ellie with her hands all over the scanner machine.
"Hey, kiddo, what are you trying to do?" she asked walking next to her.
"I want to see how it works" she answered without taking her eyes out of the machine "I just have to take the lid off-" she began to pull as Alex quickly reached for her hands.
"Hold up" she asked looking around, luckily no employee was there to see "You can't just take it apart" she reproached lightly.
"How else am I supposed to see?
Alex gazed at her with found curiosity "Come with me, let's go to the toy's section" she grabbed her hand but Ellie pulled it back taking a step away.
"I don't want a doll" she said with a tiny pout, her arms folded defensibly.
"We are not going to look for a doll" Alex answered stretching her arm out to her again, letting the girl decide this time if she wanted to go alongside.
Ellie was curious as to what the Agent might want to show her but still gazed at her hand questioningly.
"Lena doesn't take my hand" she shielded them closer to her body.
Alex almost dropped her arm, but instead she just held it closer "I just don't want to lose sight of you, Lena would be worry sick if I lost you in such a crowded place" she explained in a warm tone "I trust you won't go anywhere, it's just for my sake" she offered and at that, Ellie tentatively held on to her "Thanks" Alex said walking her a couple of aisles down.
Once there Alex roamed through the multiple sets "Puzzles, blocks and…here!" she triumphantly grabbed a box passing it down to her.
"What is this?" she asked as she read through the cover.
"It's a construction set, it's all metal pieces that you can combine to build any sort of stuff, structures, cars, planes…whatever you can imagine, I guess. And there are some models you can do and program instructions into so they move" she pointed "that way you can take it apart, put it back together and understand how it all works" Alex tilted her head to the side "And maybe sometime we can build something together"
Ellie gazed up at her with sparkly eyes "We can play with this?"
"Of course" Alex smiled "come on, let's pay for it so you can start" she tapped her shoulder taking her to the cashiers.
"But…" Ellie looked down at the box she was hugging against her body "Is it okay if I have it… isn't it for boys?" she gazed at the image on the cardboard, two 12 year old boys were programming a truck in that image.
Alex was aback by the question, but of course she understood were Ellie was coming from, perhaps others had given her a hard time for the things she enjoyed.
"It's okay, kiddo" she leaned to her level "Girls can play with these too" she chuckled "You should see your mom's lab; she has the grownups version of it. And she is the most talented person in the country on that field, probably the whole world"
"My mom…" Ellie repeated softly, perhaps for the first time rolling those words in her tongue and in her thoughts.
Alex pushed her lips to a side knowing she had stepped on a touchy subject "Lena will always support you, Ellie" she said "And she won't ever judge if what you like to do or play with is for boys or girls. I know I wouldn't mind and I'm sure she would be more than thrilled to build with you as well"
Ellie held a timid smile that slowly turned into a more confident one as she nodded "Okay"
Alex smirked as well "Okay" she repeated standing up going to the cashier purchasing the set. Once in Ellie's power, Alex glanced around trying to find Lena to no avail, so instead she sent her a text saying where they would be as she took Ellie to the cafeteria, buying two ice-creams while the girl opened the box and began sorting the materials and going through the instructions.
About 20 minutes later, Lena made an appearance, rushing to their side "There you are" she said a bit breathless "I'm sorry that took so long"
"It's alright" Ellie replied looking up from their little project "we are making a bird"
"You are?" she gazed between the two.
"Oh yeah, we are calling him Jason" Alex chuckled looking up at Lena, whom seemed to be a bit confused.
"What did I miss?"
"Alex bought me a set!" Ellie showed the box.
Lena then directed all her attention to Alex who shamelessly shrugged "You were taking your time, your fault for leaving us to our own devices"
"We are building together, you want to play too?" Ellie offered.
"Ow, um? Maybe later? I think we should get going" she pointed back at the store not missing the disappointment in Ellie's eyes.
"Well, it's not like we can walk back in with ice-creams" Alex intervened getting Lena's attention before mouthing a "play with us" and a nod to the side.
"I-I guess you are right" Lena sat down arching a brow at Alex, since the Agent seemed to have more to say about the situation.
"I was telling Ellie you have your own set at L-Corp" Alex began trying to clue her in.
"Um, yeah, you could say I have my play set there" she answered still frowning in confusion.
"And are any girls allowed?"
Lena actually reacted at that remark "Of course! Everyone that is passionate and capable is welcome into my lab, regardless of gender" she stated rather energetically.
Alex smirked pleased with the answer as Ellie looked up with a contagious grin.
"I like to play with these sets too" the girl said going back to her work as Alex winked in Lena's direction in an approving manner. Lena finally got the gist of it and eased back into her seat with a smile of her own before mouthing back a 'thank you'.
Alex simply raised her cone as though it was a glass of wine and kept on playing with Ellie.
By the time they were done it was already late, so Lena simply wrote down a list of items and models that she left to be delivered at her home.
"I think that should do it for now, we'll come back later if we need something else" Lena stated turning around "Time to go home, it's getting too crowded"
Ellie automatically reached up taking Alex's hand without second guessing the action.
Alex did look down however, noticing Ellie wasn't even looking at her, her eyes still glued to the box under her arm. So Alex gazed back up finding Lena equally awestruck by the action.
"I guess we are set to go, then" Lena declared as they walked to the exit, stopping every other step in which Ellie had to readjust the grip of the box while still holding on to their recently created bird.
"I can carry that for you, sweetie" Lena offered and as she was handed it, her own palm was captured into a tinier one.
Lena felt her heart jump at the action looking for Alex's eyes. The Agent simply smiled back at her with such calmness and warmth, Lena felt reassured all while unable to prevent the blush to paint her cheeks red as they walked together outside, like a family.
"We can decorate your room later if you'd like, it's been a couple of days so your bed should arrive today" Lena offered as she prepared a sandwich for Ellie while absently answering back one of her secretariats messages.
"I'd like that" Ellie nodded still playing with the building set.
"Great" Lena smiled her way before answering an incoming call "Is the paper work ready?" Lena asked directly hearing his board of directors talking on the other side "Perfect. Please send a copy to my email and get the lawyers to look at it, I'll have it filled and filed this week" she waited another second before hanging up "Sorry, sweetie. Last phonecall, I promise"
"It's okay" she shrugged nonchalantly "at least you are home"
Lena smiled softly at her "What are you making now?"
"Spaceship" she answered while carefully settling it down "Is Alex coming to play this week?"
"Would you like her to?" Lena asked with a smirk.
"She has good ideas" Ellie pointed out "And she was going to show me how to program"
"Well, I'll give her a call to see if she's free sometime soon" Lena beamed while contentedly putting the food down for her to eat "What do you think about her, Ellie? About Alex"
"She's nice" the girl said taking a bite "And she listens" she added with a mouthful what she considered of the upmost importance "It's…easy to tell her stuff"
Lena sighed softly "It is, isn't it?" she cleared her throat "Well, I hope we see her more often, we could all go to the lab"
"That'd be awesome!" Ellie sat upright at the mention of such fieldtrip.
"Good, I'll schedule our play date" Lena stated with a smirk "I hope she can be there" Lena's tone became longing at the end.
Ellie folded her arms on the bar resting her head on top of them looking at Lena with those big innocent eyes.
"Do you like her?" Ellie asked and Lena felt the grip on the butter knife slip.
"Um, what?" Lena tried to keep composure.
"Do you like Alex?" Ellie gave her a toothy grin that reminded the Luthor no matter how mature the girl was, she was still a kid after all "kissing and holding hands kind of like" Ellie clarified tilting her head to the side.
Lena felt the red rushing to her face as she gazed down at her hands "I do" she said "Is that okay with you?" she asked softly getting a kind smile in return.
"Alex is great" she leaned back up "but…does this mean she'll be part of our home?"
Lena exhaled putting everything aside "I don't know, Ellie. Honestly I…I would love that very much and sometimes I feel as though she might want that too, it's just…awkward timing, perhaps?"
"Because of me?" Ellie asked faintly in a distraught tone.
"No, no sweetie, of course not" Lena walked around to sit at her side "No, it's us grownups that have been dancing around the subject and… I think at first neither was ready we just…I guess it's a bit complicated. I was trying to find myself before even daring to move forward and now that I have you I'm sure that I'm becoming the person I truly wanted to be" she caressed her cheek "And you are so very important to me… I want to know what you think, Ellie. If…if Alex ever formed part of our family and we became part of hers…would you be okay with that?"
Ellie shrugged protectively "What if you love her more and don't need me any longer?"
"Ellie" Lena said heartbrokenly "Sweetie, no, that's not going to happen, that's not how love works. I so love you, you are so splendid and wonderful, you are my daughter" she said heartedly "I'll always love you and of course I love Alex as well it's just a different kind of love, one doesn't take away from the other. It doesn't get minimized, it expands. Learning to open up to her is what gave me the courage to reach out to you; both kinds of love can help someone grow" she wiped away her tears.
Ellie fought against the sobbing in vain as she hugged the woman close to her "I love you too, mom"
Kara had been there when Alex got the call from Dr. Eriksen to confirm their next appointment to verify if the insemination had been successful. Alex wouldn't admit how nervous she was, but her heartbeat gave her away in an instant, so by the time Alex had hanged up, Kara was already by her side clasping her hand.
"This is exciting news!" the kryptonian encouraged her older sister.
"What if they are not good news? What if it didn't work?"
"What if it did?" Kara countered "Believe me, if this were the 5th or 6th week I would look for the heartbeat myself but perhaps is too early to tell, so don't worry too much. Dr. Eriksen is just meeting you now for a follow up since his schedule is so busy later on, so baby steps" Kara smirked at her own pun.
Alex wanted to roll her eyes but decided to accept the comfort instead "Right. It's too early to be certain"
Kara nodded in affirmance "Besides, you'll have me, J'onn, Lena, Ellie, James …" she began to take a step back looking suddenly very guilty "aaand Eliza" she finally said "She's getting here tomorrow"
"Kara!"
"I'm sorry! She called and I had to tell her that you were going to the clinic and then she said she wanted to make sure the doctors knew what they were talking about and-"
Alex just threw the cushion at her face "We agreed to tell her the results afterwards; I don't want her to freak out, because she'll freak me out!"
"Hey, easy" Kara approached her carefully as though Alex was a lion "I thought that since she's already coming we made a little party out of it, like a small pre baby shower, just us Danvers and Lena"
And there it was again, Alex heartbeat flew right off the charts and Kara had no way of mistaking it. She gazed at her sister with sudden curiosity forgetting about the prior conversation. Kara might be aloof to a lot of things, missing other signals before and filing them as just coincidences or even adverse reactions, but this sudden pattern caught her attention. So she frowned to herself trying to approach the subject.
"How would you feel if I invited her, though? Lena, I mean" Kara asked still eyeing her, carefully reading into every last bit of her demeanor "This is going to be your party after all"
"She's been there since the beginning; of course I want her to attend if she can. Without her I'm pretty sure none of this would be possible, or at least not at this time"
Kara nodded "You are probably right, we are very lucky to have her" she ducked her chin while still directing her sight at her.
"Yeah" Alex's tone became softer "very lucky" a small smile tugged at her side.
"She is pretty great, Alex" Kara said frankly "She's loyal, smart, funny"
"I know" Alex nodded a bit confused by her sister's eager attempt to remark that.
"She's my best friend… I'll always trust her blindly. And she's finally building her own life; she's not just another Luthor" Kara emphasized pushing the topic through a different angle feeling her sister's blood pressure go up.
"I know that! I mean it when I say that I believe in her, that I have faith in the things she can accomplish. I know I misjudged her at first, but I've come to truly know her. She's unbelievably resourceful, and her will is just so unbreakable. She could build the city from zero and still make it home for dinner, she's…she's incredible"
"Your heart" Kara finally said making Alex frown, expecting an explanation "It went from 70 to 120 in just that sentence. Your breathing became irregular too, not to mention that your blood was boiling" Kara tilted her head to the side "and the night of the dinner, your reaction to Ellie before knowing she was a kid, that jumped out as well" Kara held a wavering smile "You like her" she mumbled "You like Lena"
Alex felt her blood drain to her ankles and cursed inwards when she noticed her sister was registering that too "You shouldn't be scanning me" she said right off the bat defensively.
"I wasn't trying to at first!" she refuted folding her arms throwing a pointed look, incriminating her older sibling for the obvious deflection "and you weren't telling me anything…you still aren't"
Alex felt her face flush as she looked away "I-I wasn't…ready to tell you" she remarked the last world in a painful manner.
"Do you mean Kara?" the reporter sat down as well "or Supergirl?" she offered softly.
"Neither" Alex admitted shutting her eyes tight "I-I didn't felt like I could…"
Kara exhaled slowly "I understand why Supergirl would be an issue, but me? I'm your sister Alex. We tell each other everything"
"Like the fact that I'm in love with your best friend?!" she snapped before realizing her words, feeling the imminent blush take over as a curse escaped her lips. She jolted right up turning away to hide her face.
Kara stood up slowly, fully realizing her confession "You love her?" she knew her sister never used that world lightly, not when it came to people "Alex what- for how long now?"
"Kara, I really don't want to talk about this"
"Well, kind of too bad because I'm pretty sure you don't have anyone else to talk about it with" Kara interjected "Just for how long have you bottle this up?"
Alex clenched her jaw "Since our first visit to Doctor Eriksen, before that it was just… I didn't know how to call it, I simply…I like being around her, talk, make plans, go to the lab…" she tried to explain "I like how she makes me feel, how understood and validated and…and important and…loved" she mumbled right at the end "I so love her" she covered her eyes fighting off some salty tears in a mix of frustration and pure ache that she had kept all those feeling inside for so long.
"Alex" Kara softly laid a hand on her shoulder "I…I understand, probably not what you are going through, but I get how those feeling of uncertainty and longing can be like" she explained softly, her tone was not condescending, but honest "And Lena well…it does make a lot of sense that you like her" she chuckled gently "she is one of the strongest woman in National City that I know…you are the other. And you are both so nerdy and technological it's kind of hilarious to see you together" she shrugged with a smile "you know, once I got used to it" she admitted sheepishly "And I'm saying this as your sister, not as Supergirl, Lena is my best friend, but that doesn't mean she can't be someone close to you as well, your partner even"
Alex gazed over her shoulder to look at Kara through watery eyes; the kryptonian would never know just how much those words had meant to her.
Kara softly stroke her hair back "You have to tell her"
Alex felt broken all over again "I can't" she said firmly but with little resolve "I can't walk into her life like that, with-"
"With my secret" Kara cut her off, suddenly understanding the dimension of it all "You want more" Kara mumbled looking at her sister "you see that much of a future together?" she asked honestly and got an honest answer in return.
"If I could, I would like her in my life for as long as she'd have me"
Kara was unable to breath for an instant before inhaling sharply, wrapping an arm around her sister, holding her tight "Then you should take that chance" she whispered into her hair "I'll tell her, tomorrow. I promise. We'll face it together, whatever the outcome you have to tell her how you feel too"
"Kara you don-"
"Alex, you are always there to protect me, this time it's my turn" she said with conviction "Tomorrow when we met, I'll tell her I'm Supergirl"
I know it's a terrible cliffhanger, but if the next one is probably going to be my last chapter, might as well enjoy the suspense! See you next week!