The truth telling continues as Aubrey and Jessica reveal their biggest secrets. Will they grow closer, or drift apart?
"Why did your parents get a divorce?"
The redhead sat quietly for a few seconds before looking up at him. "Wow...going for the big leagues here, huh?"
"Yeah, I am.", Aubrey said. "It affects you more than you're willing to admit...even to yourself."
The redhead took in a shaky breath. "You're pretty intuitive, Agent Aubrey."
"I try to be. It helps with my job, you know?"
Jessica gave a nervous laugh. "You really want to know all my deep, dark secrets? They're not always pretty...some may not be suitable for a man who wants to run for office in the near future."
Aubrey looked at her girlfriend straight in the eye. "Jess, I could give two shits less about running for Congress-"
Jessica's eyes got large. "But your Ten Year Plan-"
"Screw that!", Aubrey replied angrily. "After the O'Malley case, I saw a part of government that was ugly. If I were ever to run, and I don't think I really want to now, it's going to be with you by my side. If people can't accept that, it's their problem, not mine. After all, it's not like they're so goddamn perfect."
He took her hand and squeezed it. "Jessica...talk to me...please."
Nodding quietly, she squeezed back before lying down and closing her eyes. "It was my first Christmas Break after I started at Michigan State. I was so geeked when I got on the train in East Lansing to see my dad and brothers because I had so much to tell them about school. Dad was hung up at work, so Jason picked me up when I had arrived at Union Station. As soon as my brother started driving on Massachusetts Avenue, he let me know that Mom was...in one of her depressions."
Aubrey remained quiet as he watched Jessica prepare herself to continue speaking.
"She had taken a leave of absence from the law firm she was working for...code for she was suspended for doing something stupid. Jason said she hadn't changed out of her PJs or taken a shower in four days. All she had done the last several days was sit in the living room, drink like a fish, and argue with my father."
"I see…", Aubrey responded, not sure what else he could say.
"When we got back to the house, I said hi to my mother, but I didn't get much more than a drunken nod. For the next three days, the only things I did were to go to the main house to see everyone, staying in my room when my father wasn't home, or going with Jason to the library. Things were tense, and that was alright, but…."
Aubrey saw her hesitance. "But what, Jessica?"
The redhead took a breath. "One day, Jason and I were home with our mother. While she was holed up in the den, he and I were in the living room just hanging out. However, he got a call asking him to run something up to the cooperative...a book, I think. I don't remember. He offered to take me with him, but I told him I would hang out in my room. He promised to take me to see a matinee of Lord of the Rings when he got back."
"That's an awesome trilogy."
"It was, wasn't it?", Jessica said quietly. "When Jason left, Mom started yelling at something in the den, so I went upstairs to avoid a confrontation. I heard the doorbell, but when I didn't hear it a second time, I figured my mom got it and felt bad for whomever was at the door. Of course, as I sat on my bed, I realized I left my book downstairs. I didn't want to sit and stare at the wall until my brother came back, so I decided to run down, get it, and go back up. Simple."
Jessica played with the hem of her Michigan State t-shirt and took a breath. "I went downstairs, but I saw my mother yelling in the living room, this time about how my father was trying to kill her again. I tried backing out of the room, but she saw me, so I had to go in."
Her voice became shaky, but Jessica continued anyway. "I asked her what was wrong. She responded with, and I quote, 'Your father is trying to kill me again, that rat bastard.'"
"Jesus…", Aubrey muttered before she continued.
"I tried to tell her that Dad loved her and no one was trying to kill her, but she didn't believe me. Then, she pulled a bottle of Cabernet from behind the recliner and refilled the glass she had while saying she had proof he was trying to murder her."
Jessica took a drink of her beverage before continuing. "She grabbed this box of candy that was sitting on the end table and held it up. When I told her I didn't understand, she stood up quickly and had to hang on to the chair so she wouldn't fall on her drunken ass. She slurred her speech as she said it was from my father, and she knew it was poisoned because it was a box of caramels, and he knew she hated. them".
Aubrey kept his comment to himself, knowing that Jessica needed to get her thoughts together.
"The box had 'Eleanor, My Love' written in black letters, but it also said 'from Allen'...I'm assuming he was one of her boyfriends. I told her that Dad's name wasn't on the box, but it didn't matter because she shoved the box in my face and said, 'Eat these then...prove to me your father isn't trying to murder me, or I'm calling the police.'"
Jessica played with her hair, a tell that the agent recognized as nervousness. "Suddenly, she stumbled backwards and landed in the chair, spilling wine all over herself. I thought she was going to pass out but she still watched me. I was scared to death, Aubrey and I didn't know what to do, so I opened the box and ate one. She told me to eat another one, so I did, but…"
"But what, Jessica?"
Jessica stared at the wall. "Some of the candies were caramels...but some had fruit filling instead…'
Aubrey realized what she was trying to say. "You ate one with strawberries in it, didn't you?"
Jessica nodded. "I knew right away because my mouth got hot, my body broke out in hives...then I fell on the floor when I couldn't breathe….She kept saying, 'I told you he was trying to kill me…"
"Your mother was just...yelling while you couldn't breathe?", Aubrey blurted out.
Jessica wiped away a tear before hugging herself. "Thank God, my brother came home just then. He saw I was in anaphylaxis, so he ran into the kitchen and found the spare Epi-Pen. He injected me right away...then he yelled at my mother to shut up before calling an ambulance. I felt a little better and didn't want to ride in the ambulance, but Jason put his foot down and forced me to when the paramedics arrived."
"What the hell was your mother doing while all this was going on?"
"Sitting in the chair, shitfaced, with wine all over her pajamas. I think she was almost ready to pass out when the paramedics took me away. Halfway to the hospital, I had difficulty breathing again and my throat closed up, so I had to get another injection of epinephrine. Things had calmed down by the time I had arrived at the ER. My father arrived with Aaron and Stephan almost immediately. After Jack and Greg arrived, the doctors decided to admit me overnight when my skin became flushed and my lips swelled up."
Aubrey saw her hesitate. "Jess, can I ask what happened next?"
Nodding her head, she got her thoughts together and continued. "When I was settled into my room, my father asked me what happened. I didn't want my mom in trouble, but it was obvious she was off her meds and she was...scary...so I told him everything."
The redhead inhaled as she felt tears form. "I then apologized for causing trouble, but my dad hugged me and said there was nothing to be sorry about, because I didn't do anything wrong. We talked for a while longer before he said would go home and check on my mother. Aaron hung out with me for a while before Dad returned. He looked…shaken and disheveled...and his eye was swollen. When I asked him where Mom was, he said she wasn't able to come to the hospital to visit me."
"Your mother almost let you die from an allergic reaction and she doesn't show up?"
"Oh, she showed up.", Jessica said in a tone that put a chill up Aubrey's spine. "I woke up about...8:30 I think the next morning and she was sitting by the bed watching me. She hugged me and said she was sorry for what happened, but now I had to tell my father that I lied about what had occurred or bad things were going to happen. I'd done that in the past, but I couldn't do it anymore, so I said no. She seemed...surprised, but tried to get me to change my mind by saying my father was going to institutionalize her and take me away from her. When I still said no, she flipped out on me, calling me an ungrateful, spoiled brat. Suddenly, she got…very cold. Her eyes were so….dead."
Jessica gulped. "She then said she knew that I was…trying to take her place in my father's life…that I was trying to ruin her life, but that I wouldn't get away with it."
"Why did your mother think her fifteen year old daughter was trying to take her life away?", Aubrey said. "That's…insane."
"She was very depressed, Aubrey. She then spouted off on how my father tried to kill her last night before Aaron came in the room. He grabbed my mother and suddenly, two orderies came in and took her away to be admitted into the hospital psych unit."
"What for?", Aubrey asked quietly.
"I found out later that my father had gone home to confront my mother, but she wasn't there. After a couple of phone calls, he found out that she'd called Michael who took her home with him. When my father arrived at my brother's house, they fought to the point where she jumped Dad and gave him a black eye. He tried to stop her, but she ran out of the house and no one knew where she was...until she showed up in my hospital room."
Aubrey tried to picture the immaculately dressed, erudite, and sophisticated women he knew compared with the crazy woman Jessica was describing. However, it seemed his girlfriend read his mind.
"Hard to picture, I know, but it happened. My mother being off her meds is bad enough, but mix that with alcohol and a depressive episode, which usually led to her being suicidal...that's Eleanor Gordon."
Aubrey didn't want Jessica to get the wrong idea. "No, no...I believe you...it was just surprising is all. Can I ask what happened next?"
"When my mother was admitted for the mandatory 72 hour hold, Aaron called my father. When he arrived about ninety minutes later, he look so...defeated. After talking to the doctors, he came back and visited me, saying that he wanted to tell me first before telling my brothers…"
"Tell them what?"
Jessica closed her eyes. "He was gone because he visited a friend of his who happened to be one of the best divorce lawyers in Virginia. He was preparing to file for divorce, Superman, from his wife of 31 years. Usually you had to wait a year to file for divorce in Maryland, but my dad used what happened to me, my mother's adulteries, and her mental illness to get that waiting period waived. He apologized for not doing something sooner, but he was always hopeful that she would get better...but she never did. He also apologized for what happened to me...he said it was all his fault for not picking up that my mother was sliding into delusions again. He said he couldn't put us...or himself...at risk anymore."
"That...must have been devastating for your father, Jess.", Aubrey replied. "How well did that go over with your mother?"
Jessica played with the hem on her shirt again. "My mother ended up staying as an inpatient for two weeks as the doctors stabilized her and got her back on the meds. While she was in the hospital, he rented her a small apartment and packed all her belongings so that Child Protective Services didn't step in and take me away."
"Seriously?"
"Seriously. My father wasn't only fed up with her, but CPS was watching my parents because of what happened. All of us dreaded when she would be released. When the day came, it just like the other times...all through the ride home, I remember her telling us how things were going to be different because she was going to work hard and stay on her medications. However, we'd heard it so many times…but it wasn't like before. When we got home, Dad gave Jason and me money to go to the movies since I had to back in Michigan in a couple of days...and he was home with my mother alone."
Aubrey waited, knowing the redhead needed patience as she weaved her memories together.
"In answer to your question, she flipped out...accused him of trying to ruin her...but my father stood his ground. She threatened him, saying the courts would let her move back in. However, the house was my father's alone, so he legally had the right to kick her out. Then...the fun began."
Aubrey heard her voice lower. "What happened, Jess?"
"She fought the divorce. I would like to think it was because she loved my father and her family, but I think it was more likely that if what happened to me got out, she would lose her friends…her social status. She made my dad's life a living hell…filed for alimony and sole custody of me…lied about my father to whomever would listen…she even called Child Protective Services with a complaint that my father was molesting me."
"Oh my God…"
"Well, she bottomed out that summer again. She was drinking again, hooking up with men in bars…got herself fired from her law firm because of all that…blaming my father, of course. She even stole my Social Security card and birth certificate from the house and wanted my grandparents to sign over half of the main winery to return those items."
"She stole those things?"
"Yep. Aaron thinks she may have been stolen that stuff so she could get a credit card in my name, because when she's hypomanic she goes on shopping sprees. However, she was cut off from my dad's family money. I guess she probably figured she would just screw me over...or maybe she just wanted to stick it to my dad's family. Luckily, he and Stephan tricked her one day and got them back for me. Dad immediately opened up a safety deposit box for all that stuff so she couldn't get to it. It got very ugly, but eventually the divorce was finalized Valentine's Day 2005."
"Wow...how ironic.", Aubrey muttered.
"He paid for her apartment until my 18th birthday so she could get back on her feet. Eventually she found another job with a law firm in Virginia...one of the partners was an old friend that came from DC's high society. She got to do the cases and work at a place that let her hobnob with snobby socialites. A win for her. A few years ago, her firm opened an office in Pittsburgh and she moved there. I'm sure not having her family around, except for Michael, makes things better for her."
"Has she gone off her meds since then?"
"A couple of times, but in each instance it was never as bad as what happened when I was 15. I don't know if she just enjoys her life more or if people around her don't give a damn...or maybe she thinks if she goes into hypomania that she's just the life of the party-"
Her story was interrupted by the doorbell. Aubrey watched as his girlfriend got off the futon and walked the short way to the front door. A few seconds later, he heard her.
"Go away, Ms. Burley. There is no story here! Leave us alone!"
He watched her stomp into the room and sit down. "I'm sorry about that."
"Was that Hannah Burley from Channel 7...like in Booth's ex Hannah Burley?"
Jessica looked at her boyfriend and shrugged. "Yeah...she wants to do a interview with you about what happened...and about your father, but I told her to get lost. There's a few reporters outside, waiting like vultures."
"Oh, I know. One knocked on the door earlier and I saw them outside-"
Before Aubrey could finish, his phone rang from the downstairs bedroom. Getting up, Jessica raced in the room to get it, but the ringing stopped as she grabbed it. Walking it back into the den, she gave it to her boyfriend.
"Here you go, Superman."
Aubrey looked at his phone. "Booth called. I'm going to call him back."
Hitting speed dial, Aubrey listened for his friend to answer. "Booth...what's up?...yeah, there are reporters everywhere, including Hannah Burley...she bugged you, too, huh?...Jessica just told her off but if she's like what you told me, it's not going to end until she gets a bone...no, I'm not talking to her...I won't do it...really?...that would be nice so Jessica doesn't have to keep getting up and checking the display, but I'm tired of these assholes coming to my door. Yeah, I'll look it up right now. Just text me the info I need. Thanks...tell Dr. B and the kids I said hi...bye."
Aubrey hung up. "Booth said the reporters are hounding them, too but, the video doorbell I have has an app so we can look at who's there on our phones."
"Cool."
Both jumped into their Google Play Stores and found what they were looking for. Using the info Booth sent Aubrey, they were able to install the app in minutes.
"There, now you don't have to keep getting up, Jess."
"I really didn't-" Jessica was interrupted by her phone ringing. "Shit, it's Howard's. I have to take this...hello?...yes, this is Jessica Warren...so they'll be put on tomorrow morning?...okay, thanks for your call."
Aubrey watched Jessica hang up. "Howard's? Isn't that where you took your Jeep?"
"Yeah...the tires arrived from Atlanta this morning. With everything happening I forgot that it was supposed to done today, but one of their guys went home sick, so they're going to put them on tomorrow and are giving me 20 percent off for my trouble."
"Nice…"
"Well, Howard knows my brother, too.", Jessica said before becoming serious again. "Can I ask you a question, Superman?"
Hearing her call him that never made him so happy. "Yeah…"
"Can we talk about your mom for a while?"
Aubrey gulped. He realized that it was a topic long overdue, but still he hesitated. Jessica saw his hesitation and it was her turn to jump in.
"Aubrey...I'm rushing you...forget about it…"
"Jessica! To paraphrase you from earlier, I just need a minute. Relax...you always pull back like that. If you upset me, I'll tell you. We can't keep being afraid to talk to each other, all right?"
'Damn it I did it again!'. Jessica winced nervously, but she didn't see recrimination in Aubrey's eyes, only love and patience. "Okay, Superman. When you're ready."
Aubrey took a deep breath and relaxed slightly before he began his tale. "My mom is…was…the most amazing woman I had every known…until you, Jessica.", Aubrey said. "She was warm, kind, always looking out for others…but she was also stubborn and loyal to a fault…mostly to my father, even when he treated her like dirt. However, for some reason I never understood, she still loved him."
'Sounds like how my Dad felt about my Mom…' Jessica thought as she waited patiently for Aubrey to continue.
"They met while both attended Baruch College in Manhattan, part of CUNY. She was an accounting major and he was a finance major, so they had some classes together. They both graduated Summa Cum Laude, and afterwards she worked as an entry level accountant while he worked to get his master's degree before starting on Wall Street. When she became pregnant with me, she quit her job and became a stay at home mom."
"That must have been nice, Superman…that your mom was able to stay home with you."
"Yeah, it was.", Aubrey said with a sigh. "She told me that she had considered going back to work once I started school, but my father said no to that idea, insisting it was more important for her to join clubs and civic organizations so they could make themselves stand out in the crowd. He wanted them to make a name for themselves. Of course, my father's word was law in our house."
'That's bullshit!' Jessica thought. 'No man would ever force me to stay home. Aubrey wouldn't do that to me.'
"From the bits and pieces I've heard over the years, once I was born, my dad didn't like the fact my mom didn't give him her undivided attention like she used to. As I got older, I figured out what his plans for my life were. Of course, how I turned out completely diverged from that predetermined future. I knew he wanted his son to follow in his footsteps, to play sports, be popular, and as he put it once to me when I was 12, 'I want my son to be a pussy magnet like I am, not the little wuss you are now.'"
Jessica couldn't stop herself from speaking up. "You are a pussy magnet, Aubrey. Your dad is obviously the little wuss if he has to tear down his only child."
Aubrey laughed in spite of himself holding his gut. "Ow...thanks, Jess. That means a lot coming from you."
"Well, it's true…and you're welcome...but from now on you have to keep that magnetism to yourself, okay?", Jessica joked before getting serious. "How did your mother cope with you dad's…." She hesitated, knowing it would be a delicate subject.
"His disregard for her feelings and his many adulteries?", Aubrey finished. "She cried a lot when she thought I was asleep or when she thought she was alone. He would give her morsels…crumbs of affection...and…I could hear through the walls more than once…that he was...rough with her…but she kept forgiving him."
"Why, Aubrey?", Jessica asked. "It's not like it was the 1950s."
"She was a Christian, Jess.", the agent responded quietly. "She'd been taught to forgive those who'd sinned against her. Anyway, it's not like she could do anything about it, really. With the way she was raised, divorce wasn't considered to be an option. Her family was an old school, very prominent, very traditional Irish Catholic family. I've only met them a handful of times."
"So your mother's family wasn't around much when you were a kid?"
Aubrey took a deep breath. "No, because when she married my father, who was supposedly a Protestant, they didn't approve of him. I guess my grandfather warned her that if she married my dad, instead of some nice Catholic boy, she'd be cut off financially…and also from the entire family. However, she loved him, and she was willing to leave everything she'd been taught behind just for him...not that he was worthy of that sort of sacrifice, but…"
He lay back on the futon and stared at the ceiling. "You may not know this, Jess, but in the Catholic Church, marriage is a sacrament...a visible sign of the Grace of God, as shown by Christ's presence at the wedding in Cana, which is recorded in the Gospel of John. That means a wedding is supposed to take place in the church with a minister present. If one of the participants is a non-Catholic, like my dad, the bishop is supposed to give his permission, and then the Catholic participant promises to raise the children produced by the marriage in the faith."
Jessica could hear the bitterness in Aubrey's voice. "But...that's not what happened, is it?"
"Nope." He shook his head in disgust. "Somehow my dad convinced my mom to give up everything she knew...her family, her religious beliefs...hell, even her own sense of self worth...she gave up everything just to marry him."
"I don't understand. I mean, she was a beautiful, well educated, intelligent woman…" Jessica paused, not wanting to hurt her boyfriend's feelings. "I guess I'm just surprised she made the choice she did."
"I know." He tried to smile as he took Jessica's hand. "But you have to remember that my father is a con artist deluxe. I'm sure somehow he made her believe that eloping and getting married in a judge's office instead of having a nuptial mass was the best thing to do. Maybe she thought he'd agree to having their civil marriage blessed by the Church at a later date, but, of course, that never happened."
He laughed sarcastically. "Truth be told, I'm not sure my dad ever really loved my mom. I think he looked at her more like some sort of prize to be won...a goal to be attained by any means, even if it meant lying to her about things that were the most important to her."
"And you weren't raised Catholic, either…"
"No, I wasn't. I'm sure I was baptized as an infant, but that's about as far as my exposure to the Church went. My mom quit going to Mass, and my dad never sent foot in any sort of religious establishment. I can vaguely remember the argument my parents had when it about time for me to partake in my First Communion. My dad told my mom that he wasn't going to raise his son to be some 'piss poor mackerel snapper', and for her to quit bitching at him about it. My mother was devastated to think that I wouldn't be brought up Catholic. She felt like she'd let everyone down."
"How bad did it get?"
"That was the final straw for my grandfather...knowing that his grandson wouldn't be raised in the Church was a deal breaker for him. In his way of thinking, my parents were living in sin, and I was a nasty little heathen bastard."
"I'm so sorry…"
Aubrey shrugged at Jessica. "It wasn't really about their faith, you know. It was about who was in charge, and my mom had stood up to her father, marrying whom she pleased, when she pleased. My grandfather said her presence could no longer be tolerated in his house...that none of us were welcome anymore. He shunned us for the rest of his life. I mean, my grandfather's priest tried to get him to work on a reconciliation, but he flatly refused."
"What about your grandmother?", Jessica asked. "I know you said she had dementia but was she always sick? Surely she didn't turn her back on you, too?"
"No, she didn't. I do have a few good memories of her. She would come visit my mother and me when my father and grandfather were busy. By the time I was twelve though...she was so far gone that she was put into a nursing home. After my grandfather banished us, our visits to her were few before he moved her far enough away to where we couldn't visit her. My mom couldn't afford the trip."
"That's so horrible, Aubrey."
He brushed a tear away. "So think about what my mom gave up when she married my dad, Jess. She lost her family, and in some ways, because how she'd been raised, she felt like she'd lost her mortal soul as well. I don't think she ever recovered from that. My father and I…we were literally all that she had left. She must've felt like her life was ruined...especially when she figured out that her husband was no good."
"That's so sad, Superman.", the redhead replied. She sighed softly as she asked her next question, already sure of the answer. "Surely, your grandfather, or your aunt and uncle offered your mother some support after your dad was arrested?"
Aubrey shook his head. "Nope…in fact, I overheard her one night calling my Aunt Kate, who lived in Brooklyn, asking for a place to stay until she could get us back on our feet. My aunt's response was to hang up on her. From the small bits my mother told me, I think Kate was always jealous of my mother for being her own person...and being my grandmother's favorite."
"What about your uncle? Grandfather?"
"Soon after we moved to Queens, my Uncle Dan scolded Mom, saying 'we told you Phillip was bad news and he would shame our family someday. You made your bed, Rachael, now lie in it." My Grandpa Robert, who I was named after, slammed the door in her face when we drove over to his house one day."
Jessica was horrified. "That is so cruel, Superman. How could they turn their back on you and your mother? Your mother did nothing to deserve that."
"According to them, she did deserve it, because in their way of thinking she'd abandoned God in favor of my father. From what I had seen and heard in the few times we were with them when I was younger, my grandfather ruled his home with an iron fist. God's Word and the Church were law and he was…very set in his ways and on how he thought people should run their lives. When my grandfather died we were turned away from the funeral Mass by Aunt Kate. She was saddened by it, but she seemed to be determined for us to make our own way without asking for any more help."
Aubrey brushed imaginary fuzz off his pants. "One of the things she always said to me was if people can't accept you for who they are, they weren't worth knowing. After the funeral fiasco, unless I brought it up, she never discussed them again…even when she was dying, Jess, she didn't mention them. When I saw how they treated her, I swore to myself I'd never have anything to do with the Church. I didn't want to associate with hypocrites like them."
They sat in silence for a few minutes, each thinking over what had happened to Aubrey's mother, before Jessica gave in to her curiosity. "After everything that happened, it's hard to believe you ended up with a minor in religious studies…"
"Yeah...I know." Aubrey chuckled softly. "That was all Rodney's fault." Seeing Jessica's confusion, he continued. "Rodney Faircloth...one of my fraternity brothers, and still a close friend. We shared a room at the frat house. He was majoring in Criminal Justice, just like I was, but instead of making plans to go to law school, he decided to go to an Episcopal seminary instead, to become a priest."
"He became a minister? Wow…"
"He would've been a great lawyer, too...he would've made a lot of money representing high powered clients, but he said he felt a call on his life that he couldn't ignore any longer. I kept telling him he was crazy...I gave him a real hard time, calling him a Bible Thumper and a Holy Roller. I picked on him mercilessly until one Sunday night."
"What happened?"
"We were sitting around our room at the frat house, sharing a case of beer when I started in on him again. This time, he'd had enough and called my on my bullshit, wanting to know what my problem was with God and religion. Of course, I told him I didn't have a problem…"
"But you really did…"
"I really did..." Aubrey grimaced slightly in embarrassment. "...but I guess I didn't know how deep the anger and bitterness ran in me after all those years. I was kinda buzzed, so I started telling Rodney everything that had happened...about how my mother's family had turned their backs on her in the name of religion...and he just sat there listening to me, nodding quietly as I cried like a baby."
He swallowed hard at the memory. "And then...he patted me on the back and said he was sorry that had happened. He explained that, in his opinion, God didn't work that way, and so I told him he was a fucking liar…"
"Really?! He was trying to help you!", Jessica exclaimed. "Did he get mad?"
"Kinda, but I think he understood after he heard what had happened. Anyway, he challenged me by asking me to take a Intro to the New Testament class so that I could see for myself what the Bible said. I thought that was crazy shit and said so, and then he called me a coward, so I gave him a black eye…"
Aubrey snickered in spite of himself. "...and he gave me a cut lip. Did I mention he's a big guy? So after we got the preliminaries out of the way, I took him up on the challenge, since I needed a Humanities class anyway, and we made our agreement...I'd take the course, and then, if I thought it was garbage, we'd never discuss it again."
Jessica giggled softly as she thought about the two drunken frat boys wrestling around on the floor. "Did you like the class?"
"Turns out I was fascinated. I couldn't believe what I was reading. It was so...amazing. Rodney had been right. He'd told me that my grandfather had taken something rich and beautiful and had turned it into something evil and destructive, just to prove a point to my mom. The things that had happened weren't my mother's fault. She wasn't really the one who'd done anything evil. Between my grandfather and my father, my mother and I had been at the mercy of two horrible monsters, with my mother struggling mightily as she tried please both of them."
"That must've been a relief…"
"It was...for both my mother and me. I was able to share what I had learned about the Bible with her, and I think it gave her a great deal of comfort."
Jessica nodded as she listened to Aubrey's story. "It sounds like Rodney's a good friend."
"He is. We still keep in touch. He's a curate at a big church in Boston." Brushing a tear away, he spoke softly. "He dropped everything to come visit my mom when she was dying. She was so happy to think that a priest would come visit her, even if he isn't Roman Catholic. He spent two hours with her, listening to her and comforting her as she spoke of her sins and her mistakes. He was so gentle as he calmed her fears and answered her questions. It gave her a lot of peace of mind…she was so relieved to think that she'd get to go to Heaven after years of thinking she was going to burn in Hell. He was the one who did her service after she passed away."
Jessica reached up and gently brushed the silvery streak at his temple. "Can I ask…how she died?"
"Yeah…", Aubrey nodded. Collecting his thoughts, he spoke about something he hadn't talked about in seven years.
"You know my first field office was in Detroit, right?", he asked. When his girlfriend nodded, he continued. "I worked in the Financial/White Collar crimes division and it was a pretty busy place with it being across the river from Canada. However, my mother and I still found time to talk once a week by phone. I was able to get her to try Yahoo Messenger and we would talk sometimes with that, too. I would tell her about my job…what I was allowed to tell her, anyway and about life in Detroit. She would share about things going on in the neighborhood and things she did with her friends."
"She didn't date much, did she?", Jessica asked carefully.
"No, she didn't.", Aubrey said. "When I was a kid, she said it was because she wanted to focus on taking care of me. However, when I started at Syracuse, she didn't date much, either. I don't think she was ever really able to trust another man again, Jess. My father…he not only abandoned her, but he took her heart and trust with him when he skipped town."
"That's so sad, Superman. She sounds like a great lady."
"She was…which makes her being gone so much worse.", Aubrey replied quietly. "Being it was my first field office and I was a new agent, time off was at a premium. I had to work the holidays, but I didn't mind doing that so agents with families could be together. My mother understood, so we didn't have Christmas together…it was the first one we didn't have together. 2009 came, and it was cold and busy, however, my mom was able to come to Detroit in March. We were stoked to see each other and I wanted to take her for a Michigan dog and Detroit style pizza."
"Coney dogs, Superman.", Jessica smirked. "Spoken like a true New Yorker."
"Some of the guys in my division made fun of me for being excited for my mom to visit, but I ignored them. She enjoyed food like I did, and I knew she would love the food in Detroit."
"You and your mom were really close. I think that's really cool, Superman. They were probably just jealous."
Aubrey smiled shyly. "Thanks."
"Sorry I interrupted. You may continue."
"So she flew into Metro and I picked her up. She was excited to see me, but she looked so tired and she'd lost a lot of weight. When I asked her about it, she said that recently she was diagnosed with anemia, which wore her out, and she was pulling double shifts at the diner on the weekends as well as working her accounting job. I told her she was working herself too hard, but she shot me down as always. 'Jamie, working is how you appreciate what you have.'"
"Was she the only one who called you 'Jamie'?"
"Yeah. My father wanted me to be Phillip James Aubrey Jr, but she put her foot down on that. She compromised by naming me James, although she said it seemed stuffy. Robert, as I said earlier, was for my grandfather, who didn't give a shit. While my father always called me James, she called me Jamie. If anyone else did, it was too weird."
Seeing Jessica smile, he continued. "She quizzed me on my love life, but I wasn't seeing anyone seriously. After getting a lecture on making sure I dated more women than my mother, we went out to explore Detroit and get some food."
Aubrey took a breath. "She didn't eat as much, either. When I asked her, she said she had been dealing with nausea and constipation. When I pressed her further, she snapped that she didn't want to talk about it anymore. Not wanting to ruin our time together, I let it go, but something just wasn't right. The long weekend went by quickly and I took her to the airport. After telling her to take care of herself, I told her that I may be able to come home for a visit around the Fourth so we could see the fireworks around the Statue of Liberty. That was something we did every year when I was younger."
Aubrey saw Jessica was listening, so he continued. "It was mid-April when I got the call from one of her friends…my mother had collapsed at the diner due to dehydration and was rushed to Mount Sinai. I got on the first plane home and ran like a madman until I found her room. She looked horrible, Jess. They had her on IV fluids but she'd lost more weight. When she fell asleep, her friend took me aside and told me what my mother didn't want me to know."
"What was that?"
"I knew she was diagnosed with anemia, but what I didn't know is her doctor was pushing for her to have a colonoscopy for the last few years since she turned 50, which was during my second year of law school. When she got her anemia diagnosis, they hounded her again to get one, but she refused, saying she couldn't afford it."
"Didn't she have health insurance?"
"She did, but she had to work extra hours at the diner to afford it every two weeks. The policy itself was shit….ten K deductible, 70/30 after the deductible was met, a 500 dollar deductible to go to ER…it was bullshit, Jess. I finally told her I was paying for her colonoscopy, and she wouldn't argue with me. It took a lot of my savings since I was still just starting out as an FBI agent, but with the colonoscopy, ER visit, tests, I paid over 4000 dollars. Then, we got the results…Stage IV colon cancer."
Jessica sucked in her breath and put her hand to her mouth. "Oh no, Superman…"
"Her…prognosis wasn't good. I didn't want to go back and work in New York…I didn't want to deal with all those memories again…but my mother needed me. I was able to get a transfer request to the New York field office approved quickly and so I moved back home mid-May. Her friends had helped a lot with getting her to her appointments, but my mom went through her sick time at her company pretty quick, so she had to go to on FMLA."
"Did her insurance coverage eventually tap out?"
"It did…then the bills started pouring in. I researched like crazy and found some programs that could help her with the chemo drugs and to help her with her medical bills, but they still piled up. She didn't want to be cooped at home so I tried taking her to our old hangouts. Seeing the fireworks at the Statue of Liberty on the Fourth of July was…bittersweet."
"Because you both knew it would be the last one…", Jessica said quietly.
"We didn't say it, but we knew." Aubrey choked back his tears. "By August, the chemo had shrunk the tumors, but the cancer had still spread to her liver and lungs. I had to request FMLA leave because she needed someone to take care of her. I saw my mother wasting away a little each day, but she continued to fight…because she wanted to be with me on my birthday. She said she had something special for me."
The lanky man wiped away a tear and continued to talk. "I tried contacting her brother and sister to let them know about Mom…but my calls were never returned. I felt like such a failure because I wanted to give her family before…"
"They weren't her family, Aubrey.", Jessica said before taking her boyfriend's hand. "They were people who were connected to her due to genetics. You were her family…her friends were her family."
"A couple of times, she mentioned my father. She said she knew he would come back to her. I couldn't bear to tell her how wrong she was, so I went along with her.", Aubrey said shakily. "Then my birthday came…and she presented me with a D-Guild 50 guitar, the same one Billy Joe Armstrong played when he and Mike Dirnt sang Redundant on MTV Live."
"You love Green Day, Superman."
"With everything going on in my life, starting with their Dookie album, their music has always connected with me...like it always knew how to put my feelings into words you know. On and off for the next couple of weeks, when she wasn't sleeping or drugged, she asked me to play Green Day songs for her."
Jessica felt tears form when she saw Aubrey furiously wiping several from his eyes. Taking his hand, she waited for him to continue.
"Then...she kept slipping in and out of consciousness.", the agent said, wiping his eyes. "Finally, she woke up alert for the first time in weeks...like she knew it would be the last time she would speak to me. She told me…to not run away from love like she did…because the girl of my dreams was waiting for me and I would know when I saw her….then she closed her eyes and I knew she was gone."
Jessica moved over and took Aubrey into her arms. "I'm so sorry, Aubrey. I can't imagine how much pain you were in."
Aubrey hugged her tight as the old wounds were opened again. When he could compose himself, he let go of the redhead.
"Her friends were great, helping me with the funeral home, making arrangements for the service. I don't know what I would have done without some of them. Since we had made some calls beforehand, a lot of stuff had been done before...she died."
"I'm so glad you weren't alone, Aubrey.", Jessica said. "Did your father call at all?"
"Nope...not even a text message, but I wasn't surprised. I thought about calling my aunt and uncle, but decided not to. I wanted my mother to have the dignity she deserved, but never got, from those people. Those last few days were a blur of people giving me condolences, my fellow agents sending me a card and flowers for the service, and finding a place to stay. I just couldn't sleep in the same house where my mother died in the next room."
Taking a deep breath, Aubrey continued. "There were two viewings and it was nice to meet some of the other friends my mother had made over the years...really good people. Then the day of the funeral came and I was on autopilot...doing what needed to be done. I wore a tie my mother always loved and her favorite suit of mine. I was doing all right...then they showed up before the service."
"They?"
Aubrey's jaw locked. "My aunt and uncle. Aunt Kate had the balls to offer me a hug and tell me how sorry they were about my mother. My uncle asked if there was anything they could do for me. I told them yes and for them to leave."
"Oh…"
"My uncle said I was acting rash and they wanted to pay their respects to their sister and that I owed them that. I told them I owed them nothing because while they were living the good life, my mother and I struggled to survive from all the debt my father left us in. My aunt said they were sorry, but my grandfather threatened to disown them if they tried to help us or get in contact with my mother."
"So, because they were scared shitless of being cut off by an old man who turned Christianity into a tool for meanness, they left you and your mom to suffer?", Jessica said. "What a crock of shit."
"Uncle Dan tried to push his way past, but I stopped him and then ordered them to leave and never to contact me again. Oh, they tried to argue, but several of my fellow agents came out to back me up. I told them I wouldn't let hypocrites take away the last of my mother's dignity and I refused to help them ease their conscience about turning their back on us. When I told them I was going to call the police, they left and I haven't seen or heard from them since."
"Do you have any cousins?"
"Two from my Aunt Kate. They've tried to friend me on Facebook, but...I don't know."
"Aubrey...don't punish them for their asshole parents. You don't have to be best friends, but maybe you should at least meet them someday."
"Maybe…"
"And if they're assholes, too, then you don't have to talk to them again.", Jessica responded.
"Maybe I will...eventually.", Aubrey said. "I had another surprise when I submitted her death certificate to the insurance company."
"What was that, Aubrey?"
"She had said she had an insurance policy to cover...all the expenses. However, when I got the check, it was for $250,000. When I called the agent, he said she took it out several years earlier to not only pay the funeral expenses but also to help me with my student loans that I had to take out for school." Aubrey let out a shaky breath. "Once again, she was looking out for me. Between what remained and the FBI student loan repayment program, I've only had to pay back about 30,000 dollars."
"You mom sounds amazing." Jessica replied. The redhead hesitated for a moment. "Do you...never mind…"
"What, Jessica?"
The redhead felt stupid, but said what was on her mind. "Do you think she would have liked me?"
Aubrey's heart melted as his girlfriend's simple question. "Jess...she would have loved you."
"Really?"
"Yeah, really. Jess...it didn't really hit me until earlier, but you and my mom are so alike it's spooky...shit that sounds weird…"
"Aubrey…"
"I just compared my girlfriend...the one I have frequent, amazing sex with to my deceased mother...that is so weird…"
"Superman!", Jessica yelled. When she got Aubrey's attention, she continued. "I don't think you're being pervy...I'm flattered. I just hope I can live up to her standards."
Aubrey could see the insecurity. Cupping her face with his palm, he smiled. "You've exceeded them, Jess. I think that is what frustrated me the most about Gerald...you were so determined to do it all on your own. My mother always did that because she didn't want to burden me. She didn't call me when she was sick because she didn't want to upend my career. It hurt so much...all I wanted to do was help her...just like I want to help you."
"I don't want you to lose all you worked for because of me…", Jessica said with a shaky breath. "I don't want you to hate me like my mom does…"
Aubrey's heart hurt when he saw her break down. Pulling her close, he held her as they laid on the futon. When she calmed down, the agent said what was on his mind.
"Jess, your mother doesn't hate you...she's jealous of you."
Sniffling, she picked up her head and looked at her boyfriend. "What? That's insane."
"No, it's fact.", Aubrey replied. "I could tell after being around her for five minutes. Eleanor resents the close relationship you had with your father. She resents that you had more opportunities than she did. She's jealous that you are not bipolar like she is...and she's jealous that you are your own person."
"Really?", The redhead replied.
"Yes, really. She wants to move up in the world and be powerful, but she always falls short, not recognizing that it takes not only charm and who you know but also hard work and skill. You know the way she treats Nadia and Gail? It's the same thing, and I'm sure with her granddaughters, if given the chance, it would be the same with them, too."
"Why? It makes no sense."
"It makes perfect sense, Jessica. While she has struggled, you and your brothers have each found success in your chosen fields as well as finding partners who have succeeded beyond anything your mother could do. Look at you. You not only work in the best forensics lab in the world but you have two world famous scientists as your mentors, one a famous novelist. Eleanor is miserable...and she wants all her children to be as miserable as she is."
"She's happy where she is-"
"No she's not, Jessica.", Aubrey said. "She reminds me of my father. Always wanting what she can't have...always blaming others than herself...among other things. Yes, she has Bipolar II Disorder, but with the right medication and therapy, she could have an almost normal life with a few restrictions. But she sees the lives her children have made and it eats her alive. You, and your brothers...you can't help her, because she has to help herself. Don't let her manipulate your emotional well being."
"I could say the same of you, Aubrey. It's obvious that your father has ridden roughshod on your emotional well being as well.", Jessica replied. "I think it's time for both of us to let that anger go...and trust in ourselves. James Aubrey, I love you...more than my own life. You've pushed me to take more chances in my life than I have ever with anyone else. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, but to do that...you have to talk to me. I will always be there for you emotionally...or physically, but please don't shut me out anymore."
Aubrey knew what she was referring to and it made him sick to his stomach every time he thought about it. "I'm so sorry for Monday night-"
"I know-"
"No, you don't know, Jessica.", Aubrey said. "I love you...I need you...I can't go on without you...but what I did was disgusting...and just like what my father used to do with my mother. You're not some stress ball that I use to relieve myself after a bad day. You're my girlfriend whom I adore. Instead of telling you what was wrong, I fucked you to feel better, but I felt worse. I was so scared of what would happen if you knew...and I know better. I'm so sorry I didn't have faith in you."
"It's okay. I should be apologizing, too, Aubrey. I should have talked to you about Gerald. I know you are a professional, but I was afraid that chode would provoke your temper. With that, I was afraid you would come to my defense and something would happen...and that was so stupid.", Jessica said quietly before looking at her boyfriend. "I know you better than that. I'm very independent, but as Genny said to me last week, I need to start asking for help if I need it. It doesn't make me weak...it makes me smarter."
They looked at each other for a moment before Aubrey took her hand. "Jess, I want it all. I want the good, the bad, and the ugly with you. Sometimes...it's going to suck, but the good times are so good...I want to start over."
Jessica squeezed his hand in turn. "No, James. I don't want to start over."
Surprised, Aubrey's face lost color. "W-what?"
"I don't want to start over...because starting over means forgetting all that happened before...and I don't want to. If we're going to move forward, we have to learn from the past. It's the only way we will make it through."
Before Aubrey could answer, his doorbell rang again. Looking at his phone, he shook his head. "Another damn reporter...son of a bitch."
"I'll take care of it.", Jessica said before storming out of the den.
Aubrey sat for a moment thinking about what Jessica said when he heard her yell, "GET THE FUCK OFF MY BOYFRIEND'S PORCH OR I'M GOING TO TAKE A FLAMETHROWER TO YOUR NOSY ASSES BEFORE I STAB YOUR EYES OUT WITH A TROCAR AND HAVE OUR DOG RIP YOU APART!"
Aubrey cracked up laughing before holding his stomach again. "Oww...son of a bitch…" His Jessica was the sweetest person in the world...until you pushed her too far...and she was all his.
Jessica stomped back into the den and laid down facing Aubrey. Before she could open her mouth, Aubrey spoke solemnly as he took her hand in his.
"I want to move forward...with you, Jess. No more being afraid of things getting ugly. I don't want us to be like Daisy and Beau. We need to talk to each other...and learn from the past."
"Aubrey...I want you with me...even when you piss me off...get jealous. You can rescue me as long as it doesn't get too crazy...I just want you. Do you want me?"
"Jessica, I'll always want you."
The couple came together for a kiss, but were interrupted as the doorbell rang again. Checking his phone, Aubrey growled. "It's that same guy from FOX 5. What the fuck!"
"I'm tired of them bugging you, Aubrey."
"Well, as much as I loved what you said, I don't have a flamethrower, trocar, or a dog. Suggestions?"
Jessica smiled. "This doorbell has a speaker, right?"
"Yeah. Barely use it. Why?"
The reporter from FOX 5 stood at the door for the next 10 minutes. He knew he could wear them down for a scoop. No way Hannah Burley was going to top him this time. Ringing the doorbell again, he smirked.
"Agent Aubrey...I'm persistent and I'm not going to stop bugging you until I get my story."
Standing there, he heard Jessica's voice through the speaker. "You may want to rethink that strategy, Mr. Asshole reporter."
"Calling me names isn't going to deter me, Miss. If you give me this interview, it's your chance of getting your story out there, Agent Aubrey."
*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*
Back in the den, Jessica and Aubrey start snickering before the redhead pushed a button on her phone and held it up to his phone. "Ready, Superman?"
"Always, Jess."
*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*
The reporter stood with a smirk until he heard the unmistakable sound of a Great Dane growling from inside the house. "What the…"
"Now, Mr. Davies, I'm going to give you five seconds to get off my porch before I open my front door. See, Skinner doesn't take too kindly to people bothering me. If you don't leave, you'll get the option of my dog running out and ripping your leg off for lunch or my shotgun up your ass."
"Agent Aubrey, seriously? I've been around-"
In the house, Jessica cued up the gun sounds app Dr. B introduced her to months earlier. Moving her arm, the sound of a rifle being cocked rang through loud. Holding their laughter, Aubrey then pushed the dog sound app again, this time making the growl louder.
Outside Davies lost some color to his face. The he heard Jessica's voice through the speaker.
"Skinner is pretty hungry, and we haven't fed him yet. I'm sure he would prefer fresh meat...especially asshole reporter meat."
Suddenly, loud barking came over the speaker, causing the reporter to run away quickly. As he reached the other reporters, he babbled, "...big dog...big gun…"
In the house, Jessica and Aubrey laughed while he held his abdomen. Taking the redhead's hand, the agent squeezed it. "You are a genius, future Dr. Warren. Creative, evil plans like that are another reason why we'll always be together."
"Damn straight, Special Agent Aubrey.", Jessica said leaning close into Aubrey. Just as their lips were going to meet, they were interrupted a second time.
"What the hell is it this time?", Aubrey growled as Jessica reached for her phone.
"It's Curly...and he's Skyping.", she said before answering. "Curly, what's up?"
Hodgins appeared on the screen. "I need a favor from you..."