He needed to get out. Move. Do something. He just couldn't think, he couldn't stay in the room she had just left.
So he decided to grab his lunch and take it to the cathedral, to see Quasimodo, who he hadn't visited since he had been taking care of him at the Palace a week ago.
When he climbed the ladder to Quasimodo's quarters, the young man was very surprised to see him.
- Master! I wasn't expecting you! - he exclaimed, racing to help him, grabbing the basket from his hand. - The archdeacon said you were taking the week off.
- I am. - Frollo replied.- But I wanted to see how you were doing.
- I'm great, how are you? Are you feeling better?
- Much better, thank you. - Frollo said, though Quasimodo could see that he was restlessly hiding something, but he didn't ask.
They sat at the table, and Quasimodo was delighted to see the delicacies Frollo had brought to share with him. They started eating, briefly commenting on the nice weather in between bites. As the minutes went by, it became clearer that Frollo's mind wasn't there. Quasimodo had a pretty decent guess on where it could be, but he didn't know if that was a good or a bad thing. Eventually, he couldn't take the uncertainty anymore.
- So… how's Esmeralda doing? - he asked casually, biting on a piece of bread.
Frollo's eyes pierced his own like a hawk, and Quasimodo swallowed slowly, regretting his curiosity. But the judge didn't seem mad. He just seemed very cautious and alert.
- She is well. - he cleared his throat, and then, looking down at his plate he informed – In fact, she's able to walk perfectly fine already, so earlier I told her I would send someone to help her collect her things and take them home.
Quasimodo chocked on his food. He started coughing violently, and Frollo got up from his chair to help him, softly hitting his back and pouring him a glass of water. Quasimodo drank it, and still with his face red, he said:
- You did what?
Frollo frowned, not understanding what all the fuss was about. He repeated his words slowly:
- I said I told her that I would send someone…
- I heard what you said! - Quasimodo replied with irritation, still coughing. He drank some more water while Frollo stared at him, shocked at Quasimodo's tone. - I meant, why would you do that?
- Send her home? - Frollo asked, still not following. - That's what we had agreed on, she would stay as a guest to get some proper rest so she could return home safely. She's healed now, so…
Quasimodo interrupted him again.
- But she has no home to return to! Where did you expect her to go? You're throwing her out to the streets?
- What do you mean? - Frollo inquired, getting angry and frustrated himself.
Quasimodo lifted his eyebrows in disbelief.
- She didn't tell you? - he asked, shaking his head.
- Tell me what? Explain yourself already, boy!
Quasimodo got up from his chair, putting his napkin on the table, and began pacing restlessly around the room, trying to find the words.
- When you were… so ill. Remember Clopin came looking for her at the palace?
Frollo nodded, listening carefully.
- Esmeralda told him she had decided to stay at the Palace. Clopin didn't take it well.
- Why not? - Frollo asked intrigued. - Didn't he want her to get better?
Quasimodo grunted with exasperation, hitting his face with his palm.
- She wasn't staying to rest, you…! - he clarified, almost insulting the judge in his frustration. - She was staying for you! Because she was worried about you! Her foot was just an excuse because you had just said you didn't need any help! I can't believe I have to explain this. You two are just the same. - he declared, falling back into his chair with a sigh.
Frollo was staring at the table, his words still sounding inside his head, his mind trying to grasp their implications. Her angry kiss came back to his memory, and suddenly he understood what she had been angry about. How could have he not seen it? That explained why she was apparently taking so long to heal. And he had just sent her away the moment he saw her better. Quasimodo may not have dared to insult him, but he insulted himself. What an idiot he was.
- But… - he suddenly remembered. - That doesn't justify why you said she has no home to return to.
- Things with Clopin got very ugly. - Quasimodo explained softly. - He basically gave her a choice between them and you.
- And she chose…? - Frollo couldn't even pronounce the words, he couldn't believe it.
- Yes. - Quasimodo nodded meaningfully. - Clopin called her a traitor and told her they were leaving the city, given that you were unable to chase after them at the time.
- They left? - Frollo asked in shock.
- Not all of them. I've seen some of them, looking from the terrace. And I believe I saw Clopin's puppeteer caravan a couple days ago. But I haven't seen many of them these past few days… Some must have left.
- That explains why the captain said everything was quiet. - Frollo mumbled to himself.
He was expecting to feel rage about this piece of news, like he did with everything related to gypsies. But to his own surprise, he realized he barely cared. In fact, if most of them had left the city, that could be a good thing for all. In the past, he would have gotten mad that they had escape his control, taking advantage of his moment of weakness. He would have chased after them, to teach them a lesson. But none of that mattered to him right now. He just wanted to get back to the palace and talk to Esmeralda before she got tired of waiting for his answer.
- Thank you for telling me this. - he said to Quasimodo with honest gratitude.
- You're welcome. - he answered, but he seemed upset. After hesitating for a second, he chose to speak his mind. - But you should start talking to each other. Things would be much easier if you did, instead of relying on me to fill in the gaps that your stubborn prides prevent you to fill. Or else, you're doomed to always misinterpreting each other.
Frollo was surprised at the bluntness Quasimodo was displaying lately. The lad had always been fearful around him, afraid of upsetting him the slightest. But now here he was, giving him life advice, frustrated at his ineptitude. Frollo didn't know whether to feel insulted or amused by his change of attitude. But then something occurred to him, that maybe there was another reason that this particular subject was bothering him so much. Why hadn't he think about this before?
- Quasimodo – he said, tentatively – Forgive me if I have put you in a difficult position. It didn't occur to me that your own feelings may have made it hard for you to stand in the middle of… whatever's going on between Esmeralda and myself.
Quasimodo blushed immediately, embarrassed. He opened his mouth to answer, to try to discard those words and conceal his shame, but Frollo's gaze was so intense that he felt the judge could see right through him. He sighed heavily, giving up.
- Look… - he began to explain, without looking Frollo in the face. - Esmeralda was the first stranger to show me kindness. She defended me even when you didn't, when everyone was mocking me and they tied me to that wheel… - his voice became hoarse.
Frollo felt a surge of guilt rushing into his heart, but he said nothing, allowing Quasimodo to continue.
- She was also the first person I spoke with that wasn't you or a priest. - he pointed out with a gesture. - And so, for a moment, I thought maybe she was the cure to my loneliness. The proof that someone could love me.
In that moment, Frollo felt a knot burning in his throat, with the words " But I love you" stuck in it. But he had never said those words out loud to anyone in his life, and he was completely unable to do it now. So again, he said nothing, and just kept listening.
- And I was right, you know? Meeting her has changed my life, and now I don't feel so alone. She just doesn't love me in that way, and I'm okay with that now. I'm not even sure, to be honest, that I ever loved her like that either. Not after what I've seen.
- What do you mean? - Frollo asked in a low tone.
Quasimodo looked at him, unsure if the judge would be offended if he spoke of the memory that was playing in his mind. But Frollo seemed genuinely interested in hearing what he had to say.
- Remember when we were sitting in the outside corridor… that night? - he asked cautiously, giving Frollo a meaningful look.
Frollo felt his cheeks reddening as he recalled his breakdown in Quasimodo's arms. He nodded silently, hoping the lad would get to the point fast and he could bury those memories again.
- I realized then that I've never felt such an intense force inside of me, that would lead me to that kind of pain. And when you were praying, your selflessness… I realized that when I thought I was in love with Esmeralda, I actually was in love with love itself, with being loved myself. It really wasn't about her. And then, when we thought you were dying, and I saw her, sick as she was herself, never leaving your side for a second… How she fought for you, calling you back… It's just crystal clear to me that you belong to each other. There's no trace of romantic love in me towards her after that. I only wish I can find that someday for myself too.
Frollo was deeply moved by his words. He wanted to comfort him, reassure him that if he, a cold, ruthless old man, had been found worthy of love, surely he, who had a much warmer, bigger heart, would be too, eventually. But again, his words were stuck in his throat, and he was completely unable to phrase his feelings. He readjusted himself in the chair, struggling to find something to say. Quasimodo noticed his discomfort, and with a small snort, he shook his head at the man's inability to display any kind of affection.
- But there's something you can do for me. - he told the judge, who looked at him curiously.- You've been given a second chance. Don't ruin it again.
Frollo spurred his horse, eager to get to the Palace. He was rehearsing the words he would tell Esmeralda inside his mind. He would tell her what Quasimodo had said about her fight with Clopin and her not having a home anymore, and he would make sure she knew that as long as he lived, she would never be homeless or defenseless in this world. He would tell her that he definitely agreed with her terms. And, though the thought made him feel so nervous and insecure, he would return her kiss. He was dying to have her in front of him already.
But apparently, fate had other plans.
When he got to the Palace's door, he noticed a big carriage with six white horses pulling from it, and his soldiers forming two rows to salute whoever was coming out of it.
Frollo pointed his horse towards the door, irritated. Who was this, presenting themselves unannounced at his home?
- Oh, Minister Frollo! - the unknown man saluted him loudly. - I didn't realize you'd be out. I was informed you were taking a few days off duty for medical reasons.
- I am. - Frollo stated firmly, not getting off his horse so he would have the advantage of the height. Something told him to be cautious around the visitor. - I don't think I've had the pleasure. - he indicated, asking for an identification.
- Forgive my manners, minister. My name is Gaspard Lefebvre. I come as an emissary from Our Majesty, the King.
Frollo felt his stomach twist, though he couldn't explain why, he just got a bad feeling that these were bad news.
- Be welcome into my home, Mr Lefebvre. - he said formally, gesturing towards the door to invite the man inside.
- Thank you, minister, it's been a long journey. I assume you're workers will take the best care of my horses.
- Of course. - Frollo replied, offended by the implications.
He rode to the back entrance, and entered the courtyard, where Pat and the other stable workers were getting ready to receive the incoming animals. He left his horse with Pat, and rushed to the inside of the palace to change into his most elegant robes. He quickly climbed the stairs, wondering what the unexpected visit could be about. He was so focused looking at the steps not to miss any, that he didn't see Esmeralda standing at the top of them, and he nearly crashed into her.
- Excuse me! - he said, before realizing it was the gypsy.
- Where's the fire? - she joked, grabbing his arm so he wouldn't lose his balance.
- Oh… - Frollo's mind went blank when he saw her face so close to his again. - Sorry, I was just… I need to change my clothes. - he mumbled.
- What's going on? - she asked, noticing the worry in his expression.- I heard noise downstairs.
- A visitor arrived unexpected. - Frollo answered, still a bit lost into the green depths of her eyes.
- Who is it? - she inquired, curious.
- He's an emissary, from the King.
Esmeralda looked impressed, and she took a step back, releasing his arm.
- You shouldn't keep him waiting then. - she said politely.
- Right, ahm… - Frollo hesitated, and she raised an eyebrow at him, expectantly. - I have to go now, but please… - he lowered his voice to a velvet whisper - Don't leave. I'll come find you later. Just stay.
Esmeralda was surprised at his sudden change of attitude, but she immediately smiled at him and nodded.
- I'll be right here. - she promised.
- Good. - Frollo said, with a hint of a smile as well, and then he ran off to his chambers.
A/N: From what I've gathered, the political situation in France at the time of this story was pretty complicated. So I decided to take a creative license when referring to that kind of matters, since my interest in this story is on its characters and not the historical accuracy. So I'm sorry if any of the readers are history fans, I hope you can understand! ;)
Also, thank you for your reviews, I'm glad you're enjoying the story as much as I am! I'm loving to dig into Frollo and Esmeralda's characters, and I have so much in store for them ;) So keep letting me know what you think! Thank you :)